Metafilter down?

September 23, 2005 5:38 AM

I was moved to poetry this morning.

Metafilter down;
Sad tidings of the morning.
What shall I read now?

______________________

Shall I compare thee to the New York Times?
Thou art more lovely and less temperate.
Rough winds do shake the Gulf below us,
And the Roberts confirmation needs debate.

(appologies to Mr. Shakespeare)
posted by leapingsheep to uptime at 5:38 AM (46 comments total)

Clap. Clap. Clap.

(being the first to start a round of applause is one of my dirty pleasures)
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:40 AM on September 23, 2005

I doubt Shakespeare cares much, since he's dead and all, but there is never an excuse for haiku.
posted by anapestic at 5:52 AM on September 23, 2005

Do temperate and debate rhyme? I guess that's a regional question.

Nice work leaping!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:56 AM on September 23, 2005

It brings a tear to my eye, leapingsheep. Especially "Thou art more lovely and less temperate."

I'll play:
______________________

But, snark, what link through yonder Windows^TM breaks? It is the yeast, and MeFi is the (dim) sum.
posted by taz at 6:03 AM on September 23, 2005 [1 favorite]

I hear MetaChat is sporting a hot new look.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 6:14 AM on September 23, 2005

Metafilter - Act II, Scene 1

Who is this poster which I see before me,
Their handle a witty pun? Come, let me read thee:--
I read thee not, and yet I click thee still.
Art thou not, dreaded poster, partisan
To posting to the right? or art thou but
A liberal with whine, a long creation,
Proceeding from the Bush-hating brain?
I see thee yet, in link as palpable
As this which now I click.
Thou marshall'st me the way that I was leaning;
With such citations for me to peruse.
Past posts were made the fools o' the other posters,
Or else worth best of the web: I see thee still;
And in thy thoughts and replies gouts of blood,
Which have happened before. --There's no such thing:
It is bloody business which informs
Thus to mine yes. --Now o'er the one Meta
Filter seems dead, and grey'ed links abuse
The curtain'd sleep; now JRun celebrates
Pale Up-Time's stutterings; and wither'd Howie,
Alarum'd by his sentinel, the posts,
Who howl their ire, thus with their irate posts,
Prod Howie's ravishing strides, towards his server
And his webhost. --Thou sure and firm-set site,
Accept my clicks, which way they lean, for fear
My very posts prate of my opinions,
And take my present horror to the site,
Which now fills with it. -- Whiles I threat, they live;
Words to the heat of snarks too cold posts give.

[Metafilter Restarts]

I fo, and it is done; the blue invites me.
View it now, Meta, for it a knell
That summons the to heaven or to hell.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:37 AM on September 23, 2005 [2 favorites]

[this is good]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:40 AM on September 23, 2005

Wow. Flubbed the last lines there. Sorry 'bout that!

I go, and it is done; the blue invites me.
View it now, Meta; for it is a knell
That summons thee to heaven or to hell.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:59 AM on September 23, 2005

Sonnet On Connecting With MetaFilter

I reached the site: the soul within me burned,
MetaFilter, my MetaFilter, at thy name:
And when into the comforting blue I came
And saw the site for which my heart had yearned,
I laughed as one who some great prize had earned:
And musing on the marvel of thy fame
I watched the trolls and newsfilter posts, till marked with wounds of flame
The metafilter blue to tarnished black was turned.

- Oscar Wilde
posted by iconomy at 7:02 AM on September 23, 2005

We are the MetaFilter-ers,
And we are the linkers of links,
Googleheaded and farking fakers,
And sitting by desolate screens;
Post-makers and post-debaters,
On whom the pale blue gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the web for ever, it seems.
posted by ColdChef at 7:06 AM on September 23, 2005

Shall I compare thee to the New York Times?
Thou art more lovely and less temperate.
Rough winds do shake the Gulf below us,
And the Roberts confirmation needs debate.

A rhyme or not? It's up to ev'ry reader
But that sure ain't iambic pentameter.
posted by soyjoy at 7:10 AM on September 23, 2005

If you move the "And" from the beginning of the fourth line to the end of the third line, it is iambic pentameter.
posted by anapestic at 7:13 AM on September 23, 2005

A website named mefi was fun,
Its archive had grown to a tonne,
But then came the n00bs,
Who acted like boobs,
And brought on a rash of JRun.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:36 AM on September 23, 2005

There once was a web-site builder
who spent all her days on the 'Filter.
She followed an URL
that led to Tubgirl
The sight of which damn near killed 'er.
posted by COBRA! at 7:42 AM on September 23, 2005

Metafilter!
Gabba gabba hey!
posted by cortex at 8:08 AM on September 23, 2005

robocop: I LOVE YOU!
posted by youarejustalittleant at 8:10 AM on September 23, 2005

Posting and posting in the widening thread
The posters cannot RTFA.
Things fall apart; JRUN cannot hold;
Mere NewsFilter is loosed upon the site.
The Red/Blue tide is loosed, and everywhere
Interesting links are drowned.
The best refuse to post, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:14 AM on September 23, 2005

Do not go gently into that JRUN.
Rage, rage against the dying of the fun.
posted by cortex at 8:19 AM on September 23, 2005

Oh, my MetaFilter- The web distilled,
Twenty two thousand official mefites
(Although only three thousand or so billed)
Sifting wheat from the chaff of a thousand sites.

A refining machine, spun gold released
For our perusal and commentary
(Unless Mathowie, the ‘Filter’s High Priest
Gives the Thumbs Down- that can be hairy)

“Take it to MeTa” they sometimes do cry
With callouts and flameouts and drama queens...
They whine and complain and say “I like Pie”
--though much calmed by bunny figurines.

To post! To post! To post to the Blue!
Searching for good content, I bid you adieu.
posted by exlotuseater at 8:28 AM on September 23, 2005

This is my socially redeeming value.
posted by JRun at 8:36 AM on September 23, 2005

COBRA!: "There once was a web-site builder
who spent all her days on the 'Filter.
She followed an URL
that led to Tubgirl
The sight of which damn near killed 'er."

That's not how you pronounce URL!

[this is really, really good]
posted by Plutor at 8:50 AM on September 23, 2005

This is Just to Say

I have posted
this site
that was on
BoingBoing

and which
you had probably
seen
at breakfast

Forgive me
it was roffle
so flag
and move on
posted by sciurus at 8:55 AM on September 23, 2005 [2 favorites]

That's not how you pronounce URL!

Poetic license, my friend. I'm not afraid to torment the language for my art.
posted by COBRA! at 9:08 AM on September 23, 2005

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by jruns
Starving hysterical naked
Dragging themselves through the intarwebs at dawn looking for an angry fix
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly broadband connection to the starry server in the machinery of night
Who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat up chatting in the supernatural darkness of #mefi and #mecha
Floating across the tops of cities contemplating Friday Flash Fun
Who bared their brains to Mathowie under Jessamyn and saw Amberglow staggering on tenement roofs
Who passed through y2karls multiple links with radiant cool eyes hallucinating the evil right tragedy among the scholars of war
Who were given time outs for crazy and publishing obscene odes and nsfw in line images on MeTa
Who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their $5 entry fee and asking what to do, what to do
Who got busted freeing quonsar in their pubic beards returning through mecha with a belt of links
Who ate fire in painted bunny rooms or drank pancakes, death, or purgatoried their torsos night after night of dataless documents
With dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares, alcohol and cock and endless bullshit
Incomparable blind, pages of shuddering java and lightning in the mind leaping towards poles of blueness

apologies to the ghost of Allan Ginsburg.
posted by mygothlaundry at 9:31 AM on September 23, 2005

The Love Song of Jrun and the 'filter

No! I am not metafilter, nor was meant to be;
Am an lurking error, one that will do
To cut short a posting, end a thread or two,
frustrate the one; no doubt, a devilish tool,
Destructive, glad to beg abuse,
Polluting, cancerous, and malicious;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
Most times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost always, the F%&$!
Where did my f&*%ing comment go!?
posted by dazed_one at 9:57 AM on September 23, 2005

Metafilter's
defunct
who needs to
run a watertight open
system
and serve onetwothreefourfive pagesjustlikethat
Jesus

it was a handy site
and what i want to know is
how do you like your bluescreened boy
Mister JRun

e.e.punilux
posted by punilux at 10:30 AM on September 23, 2005

oh, my. I love you people.
posted by taz at 10:32 AM on September 23, 2005

That would be E.E.Punilux
/pedant
posted by exlotuseater at 10:33 AM on September 23, 2005

don't sign your posts

bastards!.
posted by rxrfrx at 10:33 AM on September 23, 2005

An empty website
Shift-click, repeat endlessly
Mefites curse Jrun


First day of Autumn
MetaFilter, down again
Let us go outside
posted by deborah at 10:35 AM on September 23, 2005

My MePo (Metafilter Poem) from a while back:

The Mefite has been drinking, mathowie is asleep
And the images weren't Safe For Work, the Jrun has to take a leak
And mcgraw needs a week off, and the frontpage looks like a prison break
And the tagline's out of cigarettes, and the preview button's on the make
And the Mefite has been drinking

And the ponies are all freezing, and the search box's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the newbie's got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the Mefite has been drinking

As the flag link is a sumo wrestler cream-puff Casper Milquetoast
And the poster is a mental midget with the i.q. of a fence post
’Cause the Mefite has been drinking

And you can't search the archive with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can't post without her
And the title field is drooling, and the guidelines are on fire
And the newsfilter posts were fooling, and the <10ks have retired
’Cause the Mefite has been drinking
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 11:01 AM on September 23, 2005 [1 favorite]

I flagged it as fantastic. Whoo!
posted by exlotuseater at 11:43 AM on September 23, 2005

oh shi- wrong thread.
posted by exlotuseater at 11:43 AM on September 23, 2005

*punches exlotuseater in the spondee*
posted by sciurus at 11:55 AM on September 23, 2005

This is beautiful. I'm so tickled.

[Especially sciurus Carlos Williams.]
posted by CiaoMela at 1:26 PM on September 23, 2005

As I pt to my
screen, because I am
always typing,--Mathowie, I

pt, which was not his
name, the Jrun sur-
rounds us, what

can we do against
it, or else, shall we &
why not, buy a goddamn big server,

shut up, he pt, for
christ's sake,
look out who yr trolling.
posted by melissa may at 2:01 PM on September 23, 2005

Once upon a time you'd load so fine
Charge th' n00bs a dime in your prime
didn't you?

People'd say, beware Blue
JRUN's bound f' you, y' thought they were just
kiddin' you

You used to laugh about
All the pageloads you was churnin' out
But now you don't render so fast
Now your uptimes not s' vast
Havin' ta scrounge for your next paaaage
posted by cortex at 2:11 PM on September 23, 2005

If we Jruns have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these outages did appear.
And this weak and idle meme,
No more yielding but a dream,
MeFites, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest mathowie,
If we have unearned luck
Now to fix the server's tongue,
We will make amends ere long;
Else mathowie a liar call;
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,
And mathowie shall restore amends.

- - -

Alas, poor MetaFilter! I knew it, Horatio: a website
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: it hath
borne me on its back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those posts that I have commented I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set MetaTalk on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own Jrunning? quite chap-fallen?
posted by me3dia at 3:05 PM on September 23, 2005

From my sleepless void I fell into the Snark,
And I ate pancakes with jelly till the OHES NOES.
6699 steps from Fark, sippin' on gin and juice,
I woke to JRun and the 404.
When I flamed out they purged me from the archives with a hose.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 3:44 PM on September 23, 2005

There is a website in New Mexico.
posted by jimfl at 9:23 PM on September 23, 2005

Not one now, to mock your own Jrunning? quite chap-fallen?

I believe the original Shakespeare reads, "...quite chat-fallen?"

But I could be mistaken.
posted by voltairemodern at 9:31 PM on September 23, 2005

But, snark, what link through yonder WindowsTM breaks? It is the yeast, and MeFi is the (dim) sum.

Sorry: taz wins.
posted by squirrel at 9:41 PM on September 24, 2005

MAKING OF SNARKS: an increasingly poor poem for ask.metafilter.

To-day we have making of snarks. Yesterday,
We had daily downtime. And to-morrow morning,
We shall have what to do after callouts. But to-day,
To-day we have making of snarks. Ask.Me
Glistens like emerald in all of the questioners' minds,
   And to-day we have making of snarks.

This is accidental misinterpretation. And this
is deliberate misinterpretation, whose use you will see,
When you get your facts wrong. And this is the piling-on,
Which in your case you are about to get. The questions
Stand on the page awaiting eloquent answers,
   Which in our case we are about to get.

This is the preview button, which is always ignored
Since the advent of live preview. And please do not let me
See anyone previewing. You can do it quite hotheaded
If you have any strength in your convictions. The answers
Are helpful and informative, never letting anyone see
   any of them be hotheaded.

And this you can see is the slur. The purpose of this
Is to open the breach, as you see. We can use it
Rapidly louder and louder: we call this
Participation. And faster and faster
The answerers are assaulting and answering the questions:
   They call it participation.

They call it participation: it is perfectly easy
If you have strong convictions: like the slur,
and the breach, and the troll, and the point of balance,
Which in our case he have not got; and the questions
Silent in all of the #426746 and the answerers going faster and faster,
   For to-day we have making of snarks.
posted by kenko at 10:14 PM on September 24, 2005

I CELEBRATE myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every post belonging to me as good belongs to you.

I loafe and invite my soul,
I lean and loafe at my ease observing a FPP of summer n00b.

My snark, every link of my history, form'd from this intarweb, this search engine,
Born here of leet born here from l33t the same, and their
cabal the same,
I, now a member since August 18, 2002 in perfect health begin,
Hoping to cease not till bannination.

Newsfilter and politics in abeyance,
Retiring back a while sufficed at what they are, but never forgotten,
I harbor for good or bad, I permit to speak at every thread,
The Best of the Web without check with original energy.
posted by Snyder at 2:45 PM on September 25, 2005

this is fabulous
posted by darsh at 2:32 PM on September 26, 2005

I sing the linkage eclectic
posted by cortex at 2:44 PM on September 26, 2005