Bug allows comments before post October 12, 2001 3:38 PM   Subscribe

I claim this thread and all its riches for me and my heirs.
posted by rodii to Bugs at 3:38 PM (219 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Can I post a comment to a nonexistent thread?
posted by zempf at 2:22 PM on October 12, 2001


No.
posted by rodii at 3:38 PM on October 12, 2001


can i be your heir?
posted by judith at 3:45 PM on October 12, 2001


I claim this comment for Spain.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 3:46 PM on October 12, 2001


(Matt--check out the timestamp on Zempf's comment.)
posted by rodii at 3:46 PM on October 12, 2001


Aw, man, all the good comments are already claimed....
posted by jpoulos at 3:49 PM on October 12, 2001


I claim conjugal visitation rights to this thread.
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:51 PM on October 12, 2001


you know rodii and zempf, you could have just emailed me this hack instead of exposing it to all.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 3:52 PM on October 12, 2001


This here comment is my little Welsh ghetto: can you do a Hayley Mills voice?
posted by ceiriog at 3:52 PM on October 12, 2001


It's going to take a really impressive 'Double-Post-Generator-Thingy' to create as many posts on the MeTa version.

Thus, I'm going to landgrab. Without any authority other than my whiter than white face, a strong moral upbringing and a heroic disregard for the law:

"I claim this territory for Her Brittannic majesty Queen Elizabeth the second, and for the people of Britain"

This is known as a putsch.
posted by nedrichards at 3:54 PM on October 12, 2001


Quick! Before Dave gets here:

Rodii my elf ho.
posted by frykitty at 3:57 PM on October 12, 2001


wait.. i'm slow... what was the hack and how did it get pulled off?
posted by lotsofno at 5:02 PM on October 12, 2001


what did it look like before there was a lead post?
posted by rebeccablood at 5:19 PM on October 12, 2001


It looks like one person posted a comment, via a static HTML page on their server, to a thread that didn't exist (but was set by hand in hidden form fields). Then someone made the thread and "boom" the first comment is posted over an hour before the thread.

It's not that hard to fix, probably just a couple hours of work to patch up.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 5:25 PM on October 12, 2001


The time stamp link is very strange. Matt must be slaving away to fix this one.
posted by bjgeiger at 5:59 PM on October 12, 2001


I think the time stamps look cool, like Zemph went "back to the future" for the post.
posted by Katy Action at 7:20 PM on October 12, 2001


probably just a couple hours of work to patch up

Matt, fuggetaboudit. "Just" a couple of hours! Tell that to your homesick bike. (What a great new blog, btw!) Please remember this absolute truth about us guests: we are already extremely happy. There is almost no way we could be happier. So take those two hours off - and post more! We love it when you do that.

(Pure flattery, entirely deserved)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:45 PM on October 12, 2001


Sorry, Matt--I didn't even know about Zempf's comment until I posted the thread. I should have emailed, but I was taken aback and didn't think.
posted by rodii at 8:12 PM on October 12, 2001


Sorry about that, too. Have emailed Matt to explain what happened, but note that it was nothing malicious on my part.. mostly just stupidity :)
posted by zempf at 10:08 PM on October 12, 2001


ah, I see what the problem was, and fixed it. See, I thought you no goodniks were up to nerfarious deeds.

Sorry to soil such a landmark thread. I look forward to 500 posts from Neale!
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:24 PM on October 12, 2001


Oh! I get it now. Landmark thread...
posted by perplexed at 11:51 PM on October 12, 2001


Can I just use this hiatus to say I've just had a definitely non-landmark thread justly deleted and feel great? Now I really feel I belong. *Everyone else groans*
Post in haste, repent at leisure, right?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 12:33 AM on October 13, 2001


Sorry to soil such a landmark thread. I look forward to 500 posts from Neale!

At your command! And Miguel, see this ->

(Pure flattery, entirely deserved)

This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. Give it up already.
posted by Neale at 12:42 AM on October 13, 2001


And now it's time that we got started on the Ben count.
posted by Neale at 12:47 AM on October 13, 2001


Neale: I understand your feeling peeved because people erroneously associate you with Iceberg's brilliant Post Generator. And he did, in a polite way, warn us about you. So let it go at that. Or diss Metafilter and all of us on your own Australian website.
Matt was being kind. So was I.


P.S. I've answered your email. What else do you want? Or is this "calling me out"? (Just tell us you're really a girl - or Wet Wednesday - and everything will be alright :-)

posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:45 AM on October 13, 2001


> This is the kind of shit I'm talking about. Give it up already.

Duly seconded.

However, if you "put your money where your mouth is", that might be fine. See, Matt was telling me that his back aches something terrible and the one thing he wanted for his birthday was a nice massage. And I bet you've got some strong hands, Miguel ...
posted by sylloge at 1:46 AM on October 13, 2001


You guys are making me feel....all funny...down there....
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:03 AM on October 13, 2001


So, uh, do I register the .net for this one or what?
posted by cCranium at 5:50 AM on October 13, 2001 [1 favorite]


I further claim this thread for no goodniks and all of their heirs.
posted by redfoxtail at 7:59 AM on October 13, 2001


Gang, if someone's breaking the rules, that's cool. But let's not bitch at people because we don't like their writing style.
posted by jpoulos at 8:19 AM on October 13, 2001


You know, every time I see something posted to 'bugs' I think of a certain Looney Tunes character. How appropriate, Rodii.
posted by xiffix at 8:53 AM on October 13, 2001


BTW, I find it fairly easy to filter out happy talk, particularly when it's wrapped around something of substance, as it's merely a variant on the cloying weblogger-suckupitude I've grown familiar with. It's far better than the "grumpy-ain't-budgin'-ad-hominem-slinging-single-issue" people or the "I'm-quite-knowledgeable-in-some-areas-but-hopeless-when-it-comes-to-the-opposite-sex" guy.

posted by xiffix at 9:15 AM on October 13, 2001


Post #33?

Are you guys all done with the cranky stuff now? Do the kitties start soon?
posted by salt at 10:25 AM on October 13, 2001


Post
number
thirty-
four

Can
I have
a little
more?

5
6
7-8-9-10
I love you!

bum-bah-dum!
Sail the ship
bum-bah-dum!
Across the sea!
bum-bah-dum!
Skip the rope
bum-bah-dum!
Look at me!

All together now

(borught to you by the songs-that-get stuck-in-your-head advisory board)
posted by Kafkaesque at 10:31 AM on October 13, 2001


Here I am. I just wanted to be here. It is alot smaller than I thought it would be.
posted by J. R. Hughto at 11:24 AM on October 13, 2001


I'm not impressed with Neale's run. He could do better, and if he doesn't, someone else will.
posted by frykitty at 11:39 AM on October 13, 2001


Uh....Cartman, what the hell are you talking about?

(Seriously -- what is the bug, dagnabit?)
posted by metrocake at 12:28 PM on October 13, 2001


Not gonna teeeelllll you!
posted by rodii at 1:02 PM on October 13, 2001


Thus ends an undave of seven.

Roe, it has ceased to be. It is an ex-bug.
posted by rodii at 1:04 PM on October 13, 2001


An undave is what comes between daves, and a dave is what comes between undaves. I thought that needed clarfication.
posted by rodii at 1:05 PM on October 13, 2001


If I time travel, pick up an undave, and get it to share physical space with dave, do I then create a hole in the spacetime continuum so heinous as to make Yahoo Serious seem like a good idea?
Don't temp me. I've got a tachion bender and absolutely no desire to see tomorrow/yesterday.
posted by dong_resin at 3:00 PM on October 13, 2001


K: I've had the Yellow Submarine DVD sitting unopened on my shelf for a month. Now you've forced my hand. See you in an hour and a half.
posted by jpoulos at 3:39 PM on October 13, 2001


err...Yellow Submarine.

I mean...aw screw it.
posted by jpoulos at 3:40 PM on October 13, 2001


> Gang, if someone's breaking the rules, that's cool. But let's not bitch at people because we don't like their writing style.

Fair enough -- I'm not sure what the context was: didn't see Miguel's comment about the email when I hit post. (For the record, it is not the style that's the problem, it's the content.)
posted by sylloge at 3:41 PM on October 13, 2001


I'm not impressed with Neale's run. He could do better, and if he doesn't, someone else will.

As per usual, I'm waiting for the masses to move on.
posted by Neale at 6:12 PM on October 13, 2001


I feel the need to make my presence felt on this thread.

Zippity BOP!
posted by daveadams at 10:31 AM on October 14, 2001


I hereby declare all previous claims to this thread as invalid under international and nautical law, propose a council be set up by the UN to oversee it, claim all mineral and/or horticultural rights to it ad infintum, and reserve the right to declare war on anybody contesting said claim, as well as granting letters of marque for their plundering and general harrasment by all interested parties.
posted by signal at 1:21 PM on October 14, 2001


signal, I agree to your sound and just claims. The people of Britian withdraw their claims in the interests of internationalunity and happy, fuzzy feelings.

We retain the right to plunder ad nauseam.

p.s. can we start oil drilling now? it seems much less of an unspoilt national park than it did two hours before the thread was posted.
posted by nedrichards at 6:18 PM on October 14, 2001


nedrichards: oil drilling? we already started nuclear bomb tests!
ah, the smell of fried penguins in the morning...
posted by signal at 12:43 AM on October 15, 2001


I hereby declare all previous claims that previous claims are invalid to be invalid insofar as the party of the first part to the party of the second.... oh, screw it.

I claim this thread and all of its riches for rodii and his heirs.
posted by Avogadro at 6:03 AM on October 15, 2001


*appears under a stack of 27 quilts*

Neale: I understand your feeling peeved because people erroneously associate you with Iceberg's brilliant Post Generator.

Neale was not peeved by this. I was not peeved by this. In fact, Neale and I were both referenced on NTK in the same sentence. Neale and I are as one.

And he did, in a polite way, warn us about you.

I did not and do not intend to warn anybody about Neale. I can categorically state that Neale is not insane or dangerous. Again, Neale and I are as one.

On the other hand, Miguel, you and I are currently as two.

*disappears, leaving only a barred owl which proceeds to wander around attempting to explain entropy to anyone who'll listen*
posted by iceberg273 at 6:05 AM on October 15, 2001


Well, if entropy rules... then I think we can all start drilling again. I apologize for uncalled-for snarkiness. If we can't get on together how can the world do the same? It's ridiculous how we keep criticizing governments for not understanding each other and then act like little fascists in our own couldn't-be-sweeter little world.

I refuse to be as two with anyone here at MetaFilter. Even with Neale. Though you did warn us, iceberg273: I'm just glad that I could help make one of Neale's dreams come true. I imagine we'll be seeing 3 or 4 front page posts a day out of him now. you said.

"3 or 4 front page posts" is not only fighting talk but currently illegal, man!

But he didn't. He won. So I guess it's OK to like Neale again. Pity this is exactly what he hates. But he'll just have to lump it like me. Who cares about petty disputes? We all do. That's why we should repress ourselves a bit.

We all mean well in our own annoying ways(don't even think it doesn't work both ways!)and the fact we actually take the time to address each other - even when we're hostile - shows we care. Dippy hippy shit, I know, but better than not posting at all.

Friends? Shake? Margarita?




posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:50 AM on October 15, 2001


So I guess it's OK to like Neale again.

When did we stop?

That's why we should repress ourselves a bit.

Words to live by, Miguel.

better than not posting at all.

*sigh*

Friends? Shake? Margarita?

Medication?
posted by rodii at 6:58 AM on October 15, 2001


Though you did warn us, iceberg273: I'm just glad that I could help make one of Neale's dreams come true. I imagine we'll be seeing 3 or 4 front page posts a day out of him now. you said.

Oh, no! I forgot my sarcasm markup tags again!

*scrabbles around, searching for his lost sarcasm tags. Trips over the owl with expertise in entropy. Gibbers fretfuly.*

(Of course, Neale, who has been here since 1999, has posted to the front page a mere 22 times, while other users have posted 16 links to the front page in the last couple months. So you all knew that I was kidding about Neale and front page posts, right?)
posted by iceberg273 at 7:17 AM on October 15, 2001


Icy, stop kidding. You weren't kidding and you're kidding if you think I'm kidding.
posted by daveadams at 7:38 AM on October 15, 2001


Icy, stop kidding. You weren't kidding and you're kidding if you think I'm kidding.

*cries*
posted by iceberg273 at 7:48 AM on October 15, 2001


Now see what you've done?
posted by moss at 11:18 AM on October 15, 2001


as i type, my minions are setting up styrofoam baricades at state street. you may hear chevy vans roaming through barton hills proclaiming that the RJLF is fanning out through The fair city we call anns arbor. Im setting up temporary HQ at the blue front and have directed my cadre to dispense free condoms in the union. nickels arcade is now free from all stationary minstrels. i have authorized the boy scouts to now post recruitment posters at local schools;) HAIL DICKEN DEVILS) the civil airpatrol has been instructed to watch for any people with glasses and chinos entering metro airport. Girl scouts are now patroling the huron and the stadium is being camoflaged with left over term papers on rita dove. with these measures, A state of GENERAL ARRAY exists for wastenaw county. with the help of mayor whoever, Big George appliances and god almighty the "Cruel" regime of Rodii will not succe...contineu...prevale....win.(or at least move to ypsi).
posted by clavdivs at 7:30 PM on October 15, 2001


Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside you.
posted by dong_resin at 9:23 PM on October 15, 2001


A storm ragiong outside you (say, force 8) is (importantly) nothing like diarrhea. As I have found to my cost.
posted by nedrichards at 5:22 AM on October 16, 2001


dong, your losing it sister. time for a new infusion of sick anedotes or antickdotes. hell, get some sun baby.
posted by clavdivs at 7:30 AM on October 16, 2001


I can only echo the words of a wise man: HAIL DICKEN DEVILS!

Now a pause while I move to ypsi.

You know what I mean.
posted by Skot at 8:16 AM on October 16, 2001


Skot-dicken devels was the name of my little leauge baseball team. dicken school, class of 79', Ann Arbor Mich.anyone one living there would know about ypsi. if you knew both id say its a pretty frikkin small world. so i know what i mean.knowwhattaimean. big georges is on staduim Blvd. Blue front is near the engineering arch. (not really but close enough for a silent confetti bomb) and ah, rita dove is still rita dove.
posted by clavdivs at 5:45 PM on October 16, 2001


always get the u-i, e-u thing screwy.
posted by clavdivs at 5:46 PM on October 16, 2001


always get the u-i, e-u thing screwy.

undetsatament of the ceyntury.
posted by Neale at 1:25 AM on October 18, 2001


all hail boddhisattva undetsatament!

*cue Talvin Singh tunes*
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:21 AM on October 18, 2001


please move along.
posted by Neale at 12:59 PM on October 19, 2001


But... but... I left my coat at my seat. Can I go back for it?
posted by Aaaugh! at 1:57 PM on October 19, 2001


The man said move along.
posted by rodii at 6:57 AM on October 23, 2001


<warglorifying50'scomicbook>daka daka daka daka daka daka daka</warglorifying50'scomicbook>

silence...




posted by nedrichards at 1:07 PM on October 23, 2001


Nothing to see here, folks. No flash photography please!
posted by Avogadro at 1:10 PM on October 23, 2001


Thank God that's over.

My plan for MeFi domination continues...
posted by Neale at 3:22 AM on October 27, 2001


Thank God indeed.
posted by sudama at 7:17 AM on October 31, 2001


Damn you!
posted by Neale at 5:27 PM on October 31, 2001


Hey, is this that 1142 I've heard so much about? Doesn't look like much to me...

posted by ColdChef at 2:33 PM on November 8, 2001


No, it isn't. Please let it die a graceful death.
posted by Neale at 9:16 PM on November 8, 2001


Hi Neale.
posted by rodii at 6:13 AM on November 12, 2001


That, of course, was a joke. Here's something, though: After eight days, what compelled you to look back here and see if anything was added? We're a silly lot...
posted by ColdChef at 7:04 AM on November 12, 2001


Isn't everyone checking back here every now and then?
posted by moss at 12:28 PM on November 12, 2001


I might be.
posted by youhas at 11:51 PM on November 18, 2001


I'm not.

Damnit, MeFi needs a BFL category.
posted by Neale at 8:51 AM on November 20, 2001


BFL?
posted by ColdChef at 2:26 PM on November 20, 2001


Burritos For Lunch.
posted by youhas at 1:31 AM on November 26, 2001


ah. I see. thanks for the clarification.
posted by ColdChef at 1:41 PM on November 26, 2001


I had a burrito for lunch. What's your favorite kind of burrito?

Discuss.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 8:50 PM on November 27, 2001


I had chicken fajitas at the Woody Creek Tavern. HST was not there. I was sorely disappointed.

The fajitas were good though.
posted by Neale at 11:33 AM on November 28, 2001


You refer to this burrito, I assume.

Burrito = burro + ito = donkey + small = small donkey
posted by j.edwards at 7:46 PM on November 28, 2001


mmm..... small donkey......


Hey Neale, you still in Denver?
posted by Avogadro at 7:32 AM on November 30, 2001


Yes!
posted by Neale at 7:55 AM on November 30, 2001


We're missing you, you know.
posted by Avogadro at 9:16 AM on November 30, 2001


I shall return. But not during the last week of this bid :(
posted by Neale at 12:37 PM on November 30, 2001


You could always ring me (room 107).
posted by Neale at 1:29 PM on November 30, 2001


~E-mail me for naked pictures of Neale~
posted by Succa at 8:34 PM on November 30, 2001


~Will do.~
posted by Neale at 9:20 AM on December 4, 2001


This is an experiment in Google skewering.

Terrorist.

Bomb.

FBI.
posted by Neale at 10:08 AM on December 8, 2001


July 14, 2005.
posted by fidelity at 7:37 PM on December 8, 2001


~I got some real good ones from his North American tour.~
posted by Succa at 9:37 PM on December 8, 2001


Okay. Six days. Surely this thread has been left for dead by now, right?
posted by ColdChef at 1:27 PM on December 14, 2001


The thread speaks!

"Coldchef -- avenge my death!

And why would you ask that? Just what are you planning on DOING the the corpse of this thread?
posted by j.edwards at 1:47 PM on December 14, 2001


Closing quote: "
posted by j.edwards at 2:10 PM on December 14, 2001


hey you punks, clear out of here. Can't you read the sign?


posted by mathowie (staff) at 2:42 PM on December 14, 2001


Whose loitering....I live here dammit.
posted by dangerman at 10:59 AM on December 18, 2001


Move over Kay, I want to have Matt's babies.
posted by Neale at 4:32 PM on December 18, 2001


<voice id="mummra"&gtI AM META THREAD 1142, THE EVER-LIVING!</voice&gt
posted by j.edwards at 7:44 AM on December 19, 2001


Oh, forget it.
posted by j.edwards at 7:45 AM on December 19, 2001


hey you punks, clear out of here. Can't you read the sign?

Hm. I read that as "No Levitating on 1142" with the little silhouette fella making those cubes rise. I didn't realize that sort of stuff was occurring.
posted by Avogadro at 11:11 AM on December 19, 2001


I'm not loitering. I'm just helping Aaaugh! find his coat. Really I am.
posted by youhas at 3:35 PM on December 19, 2001


Dave Winer called me a dooshbag!
posted by anildash at 9:38 PM on December 19, 2001


I hear they're a very exclusive band.

P.S. Loitering Law Struck Down....


posted by mattpfeff at 10:03 PM on December 19, 2001


Baby, you've got a thread that won't quit.
posted by Neale at 7:26 PM on December 27, 2001


You leave my thread alone. I mean, our thread.
posted by j.edwards at 11:23 PM on December 27, 2001


I thought this was rodii's thread.
posted by Neale at 3:54 PM on December 30, 2001


^A rodiithread is a thread which is not any other type of thread. Of course, rodiithreads are not rodiithreads.^
posted by j.edwards at 2:36 PM on January 2, 2002



posted by Neale at 11:26 PM on January 2, 2002


Hey, Matt's sign broke! Everybody back into the thread!
posted by j.edwards at 2:18 AM on January 5, 2002


Shoot, it's back up. *scurries away*
posted by j.edwards at 10:16 PM on January 5, 2002


#usr/bin/perl
dave RODIITHREAD, "inconsiderate"
posted by j.edwards at 11:28 PM on January 9, 2002


[beams in]
[coughs quietly]
[peers around]
[shrugs]
[beams out]
posted by youhas at 6:58 PM on January 16, 2002


No, wait!

I'm the only Mefier left... *spots library*
There's time to read now... time enough at last!

*hilarity ensues*
posted by j.edwards at 1:02 AM on January 18, 2002


Interestingly enough, I beamed into a contact lens manufacturing plant that is completely devoid of reading material. Not so much as a training pamphlet or back of a breakfast cereal box to speak of. This royally blows.
posted by youhas at 1:08 AM on January 19, 2002


a contact lens manufacturing plant that is completely devoid of reading material

How do they test that the lenses work then?
posted by Neale at 5:43 AM on January 19, 2002


How do they test that the lenses work then?

*brain melts, reconstitutes*

Why must they function?
posted by j.edwards at 4:02 AM on January 20, 2002


They still might function. Maybe they just test them offsite.
posted by youhas at 2:39 AM on January 21, 2002



posted by Neale at 3:00 PM on January 21, 2002


Oh... THIS is what that 1142 t-shirt means.

I still don't get it.
posted by phalkin at 12:17 AM on January 27, 2002


I still don't get it.

You mean you still just don't get it, right?
posted by j.edwards at 3:51 PM on January 27, 2002


No, he means he suddenly still doesn't get it.
posted by Neale at 7:01 PM on January 28, 2002


Well I'll be damned... they're still here!
posted by moss at 12:39 AM on January 29, 2002


Like I have somewhere better to be.
posted by youhas at 2:15 AM on January 29, 2002


I've fallen and I can't get up.
posted by Neale at 6:41 PM on January 29, 2002


I locked myself in here and then Neale ate the key. So I'm waiting for.. Well, you get it.
posted by j.edwards at 5:47 PM on January 30, 2002


Shouldn't take too long...From what I've read, Neale is full of shit. The crap-alanche should be coming soon...
posted by ColdChef at 9:05 PM on January 30, 2002


That's big talk for a small man.

Emphasis on "small".
posted by Neale at 7:30 PM on January 31, 2002


Flame War in Rodii's thread! Duke it out!
posted by j.edwards at 9:08 PM on January 31, 2002


That's big talk for a small man.

It was COLD, okay? Haven't you ever heard of "shrinkage?"

...great. now you made me cry. i told myself i wouldn't cry...
posted by ColdChef at 9:34 AM on February 1, 2002


* hands coldchef a tissue *

Group hug!

* hugs *
posted by Neale at 2:43 PM on February 2, 2002


*speaks to self* Don't let them see you cry, old boy. Don't let them see you ... *hugs*
posted by j.edwards at 3:29 AM on February 3, 2002


I find it hard to believe rodii gave up such valuable property. Hmmm...
posted by Neale at 6:12 PM on February 5, 2002


I could've sworn my coat was around here somewhere...
posted by Aaaugh! at 10:06 PM on February 5, 2002


*picks up last small piece of fabric with fork, brings towards mouth*

*looks up at Aaaugh!*

*hiccups up a button*
posted by j.edwards at 10:29 PM on February 5, 2002


Dude, j.edwards, if I knew you were that hungry, I would've brought you a churro or something.
posted by youhas at 4:59 PM on February 7, 2002


Which wine goes best with a dark cardigan?
posted by ColdChef at 6:37 AM on February 8, 2002


You don't drink wine with a cardigan!
posted by j.edwards at 10:06 PM on February 10, 2002


Aaaugh! said: I could've sworn my coat was around here somewhere...

*hands Aaaugh! his coat!*
posted by iceberg273 at 10:08 AM on February 13, 2002


The One True Thread has gone to shit. Discuss.
posted by Neale at 3:07 PM on February 13, 2002


It's like some horrible Planet Thread of the Apes. Also 19. And now... I hear drums. Drums in the deep... They are coming.
posted by j.edwards at 1:34 AM on February 14, 2002


The Knuckles! The Horrible Knuckles!
posted by Neale at 2:38 PM on February 14, 2002


The One True Thread has gone to shit. Discuss.

Beatings. Lots of lots of beatings.
posted by Avogadro at 6:31 AM on February 15, 2002


Don't lurk in here like cowards. Take back your thread! With violence if necessary!
posted by ColdChef at 1:38 PM on February 15, 2002


Get out of here, Chef!

And where's my beat poetry?
posted by j.edwards at 3:46 PM on February 16, 2002


Sorry, sorry...*backing slowly out the door*
posted by ColdChef at 7:20 PM on February 17, 2002


Naw, it's cool, cause your Chistmas mix gives me sugar. But you best be careful about calling me a coward.
posted by j.edwards at 11:53 PM on February 17, 2002


And where's my beat poetry?

On the one true thread.
posted by Neale at 10:05 PM on February 18, 2002


is bunnyfire really gone? who's laying odds?
posted by mlang at 6:57 AM on February 19, 2002


2:1 on, 4:1 the double and 11:2 for the combination.

Rule four applies and each bet is redeemed for 95 pence in the pound.
posted by nedrichards at 7:09 AM on February 19, 2002


I had the weirdest dream this morning. I dreamt that Metafilter was gone, but Metatalk was still here. There was this whole thread about it, but then that disappeared too.

Oh, and I was naked at work.
posted by ColdChef at 7:52 AM on February 19, 2002


I don't know about the metafilter thing, but the whole "naked at work" bit wasn't a dream!
posted by Neale at 3:02 PM on February 19, 2002


Well...at least that explains the papercuts on my...

Nevermind.
posted by ColdChef at 5:05 AM on February 20, 2002


uterus?
posted by Neale at 10:12 PM on February 21, 2002


good thing i passed on the over/under.
posted by mlang at 6:56 AM on February 22, 2002


You are, of course, working from the flawed assumption that she is, in fact, back.

(all evidence to the contrary)
posted by ColdChef at 7:42 AM on February 22, 2002


Must we talk about her here?

Please refrain.
posted by Neale at 6:18 PM on February 24, 2002


Thank-you.
posted by Neale at 3:26 PM on February 25, 2002


You're welcome.
posted by youhas at 4:49 PM on February 27, 2002


Anytime.
posted by Neale at 7:06 PM on February 27, 2002


*deep, deep sobbing*
posted by Succa at 1:06 PM on March 2, 2002


Aw, succa, babe... c'mere. *slaps belly*
posted by rodii at 1:03 PM on March 3, 2002


red-belly red-belly!
posted by Neale at 6:02 PM on March 3, 2002


Isn't that "Pink belly pink belly!"?
posted by Zora Neale Hurston at 11:55 PM on March 4, 2002


Depends on how hard you hit, Zora.
posted by ColdChef at 9:13 AM on March 5, 2002


And by the way...how come some folks been waiting months to join MeFi, but Neale can get vanity plates so easily? Not fair. *kicks rocks*
posted by ColdChef at 9:39 AM on March 5, 2002


BTW...I'm sorry to see how fucked up your "other" home has gotten. I partially blame myself for egging people on, but...

Well...you made it a nice place to hang.
posted by ColdChef at 7:37 PM on March 7, 2002


your "other" home

Not Fiji. NOT FIJI!
posted by j.edwards at 1:37 AM on March 10, 2002


Fiji is ruined now! Damn you Spate! DAMN YOU TO HELL!

Oh, you might be going there. Sorry...
posted by Neale at 2:48 AM on March 12, 2002


It is so confusing when you see so extra comments at the top of metatalk, and you can't find them.
posted by goneill at 7:27 AM on March 13, 2002


It is so confusing when you see so extra comments at the top of metatalk, and you can't find them.

~That's the plan.~
posted by Neale at 6:48 PM on March 14, 2002


*moonwalks through thread*
posted by Kafkaesque at 6:03 PM on March 18, 2002


[begins strumming tunes from Stone Temple Pilots' Purple album]
posted by youhas at 7:00 PM on March 18, 2002


Can't you kids keep it down for even a moment? In my day, we didn't have music. All we had were the arhythmic sounds of war, and we were glad to have those!
posted by j.edwards at 4:53 AM on March 23, 2002


In my day war hadn't been invented, so we had to listen to each other's heart beats.
posted by Neale at 4:01 AM on March 24, 2002


You had hearts?
posted by anapestic at 12:21 PM on March 27, 2002


We didn't even have queries! We had to rely on implied questions embedded within our primitive sentence-structures.
posted by j.edwards at 12:23 AM on April 4, 2002


You had primitive sentence-structures?
posted by youhas at 3:04 PM on April 4, 2002


You had primitives?
posted by Zora Neale Hurston at 6:52 PM on April 4, 2002


You had a concept of self?
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:52 AM on April 10, 2002


You had discussions?
posted by goneill at 12:08 PM on April 12, 2002


01011001 01101111 01110101 01000000 01101000 01100001 01100100 01000000 01000001 01010011 01000011 01001001 01001001 00111111
posted by j.edwards at 9:21 PM on April 12, 2002


?
posted by Zora Neale Hurston at 2:43 AM on April 14, 2002


!
posted by gd779 at 4:37 PM on April 15, 2002


.
posted by darukaru at 6:42 PM on April 15, 2002



posted by piskycritters at 7:19 PM on April 15, 2002


*
posted by readymade at 8:36 PM on April 15, 2002


41206865782075706F6E20616C6C206F66207468697321

posted by youhas at 9:21 PM on April 15, 2002


No matter how old you are, romantic relationships can be maddening. They can be particularly maddening if you are a teenager, because they seem to make no sense. Why won't Christina go out with you this weekend? Why doesn't Darren seem to know you exist? That kind of stuff all falls into the category of "relationships," and unfortunately it is messy. Here are several common relationship questions that you might have [If you are a girl please replace "girls" with "boys" in the following questions]:

Why do girls hate me?
Why do I feel so awkward around girls?
Why does it seem like a lot of people don’t have these problems? Why does it seem like they are able to walk up to girls, talk to them, and the next minute they are going out together and having a really great time? Why are a lot of those people athletes?
Why are pretty girls like they are?
Why do a lot of girls seem attracted to guys who are obviously idiots and who treat them bad? I would treat a girl great, but that seems to make no difference. Why?
So we need to talk about relationships and the facts of life around them. Unfortunately, I have some bad news: the relationship part of being a teenager is totally random. As random as lottery numbers and rolling dice. It turns out there are no rules. That is a fact of life. The quicker you learn it and accept it the better.
How can relationships be totally random? Let me give you an example that will help to explain the way the world works. For this example I am going to use the menu at a fast food restaurant.

Think about the menu at any fast food restaurant. Think about the main entree section. Let’s focus on four of the main items: cheeseburger, Super Burger, Fish Sandwich and Chicken Nuggets. Now imagine that it is lunch time, you have just walked in the restaurant to order lunch and you are trying to decide what you are going to have. You look at the menu, and the following monologue floats through your head:


"Hmmm. Let’s see. Lunch. Wow. I’m really hungry. What do I want? Let’s see. No cheeseburgers. Too boring. A Super Burger is just a big cheeseburger. No Super Burgers. No Fish Sandwiches, either. Who eats those, anyway? I just had Chicken Nuggets yesterday, so that’s out. Well, maybe a Super Burger does sound good. I’m really hungry. I think I’ll have a Super Burger today."
And so you choose a Super Burger. Simple, right? You make decisions like this every day and you never give them a second thought.

Now I want you to imagine that the restaurant works differently. Instead of you looking at a menu and making a choice, each sandwich comes up to you and talks to you personally. You walk in the restaurant, sit down at a table and a cheeseburger walks up and says, "Hi, would you like to have lunch with me today?" You say, "No." A Super Burger comes up and says, "Hi, would you like to have lunch with me today?" You say, "No." A Fish Sandwich comes up and says, "Hi, would you like to have lunch with me today?" You say, "No way. I hate Fish Sandwiches!" A Chicken Nugget comes up and says, "Hi, would you like to have lunch with me today?" You say, "No." Then you think about it and call the Super Burger over to the table again and say, "Yes, let’s have lunch."

Now I know this scene creates a funny mental image. But I want you to think about this from the point of view of the sandwiches. Let’s say they all take your rejection personally. So when you say "No" to the Chicken Nugget, the Chicken Nugget sulks back to the kitchen thinking, "Boy, I really blew that one. I am such an idiot. That guy hates me. Hates my guts. Why did I even go up to his table? I could tell he was going to say no. When will I ever learn? I shouldn’t go up to tables any more. Why does everyone hate me? And why this guy? I really liked him. I hate this whole thing. It stinks. Maybe I should just kill myself. Or maybe I’ll go live in a vegetarian monastery. At least then I won’t have to think about it any more. I hate this."

From the Chick Nugget’s point of view, the whole transaction was a total rejection. You, on the other hand, are looking at the "relationship" between yourself and the Chicken Nugget differently. Do you hate the Chicken Nugget? No. Do you have any feelings at all against the Chicken Nugget? No. Are you rejecting the Chicken Nugget? No. Obviously not; you had Chicken Nuggets just yesterday. But you did have them yesterday, so you don’t want them today. Therefore, you said, "No."

The point is this: When you said "No" to the Chicken Nugget it meant nothing. It meant that you did not want to have Chicken Nuggets for lunch today. It did not mean a single thing to the Chicken Nugget but that. For the Chicken Nugget to take it personally and read anything into it is pointless, because it was not meant personally and in fact has no meaning at all. The fact that you said "No" to the Chicken Nugget was totally random!

Now let’s say you are a guy. You call up a girl and ask her out and she says, "No." What should you read into that? Nothing. It is as meaningless to you as it is to the Chicken Nugget. She simply did not want to have lunch with you for whatever reason, those reasons are totally random and there is nothing you can do about it. Take it at face value and walk away. To take it personally and beat yourself over the head with it is pointless.

"OK", you say, "But why is it that the last three girls I have asked out said ‘No’?" That occurs because relationships are a "numbers game." That is an expression used in sales. Let’s say you decide to go to a car dealership and get a job as a car salesperson. It is your first day. A couple comes on to the lot and you talk to them and they decide not to buy a car and drive away. You say, "Oh well." Another couple comes on to the lot and you talk to them and they decide not to buy a car and drive away. You say, "Hmmm." A guy comes on to the lot and you talk to him and he decides not to buy a car and drives away. You say, "I’m not doing very well." Another couple comes on to the lot and you talk to them and they decide not to buy a car and drive away. You say, "I really stink at this."

At lunch you go talk to the manager and you say, "I stink at this. I quit." He would say to you, "You aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s a numbers game. Just stick with it for a month and you will see what I mean." So you stick with it for a month and you do see what he means. What he means is that you have to talk to about 15 people before someone buys a car. In the month you talked to 150 people and they bought ten cars. What that means is that you got rejected fourteen times for every acceptance. And that is how it is. It is only after you have tried 150 times and been rejected 140 of those times that you begin to see the pattern. The first day was rough because you couldn’t see the pattern due to lack of experience.

Should a car salesman be mad about the rejections? No. Should he take them personally? No. Do they mean anything? No. Not everyone who comes onto his lot is going to want to buy what he sells. That’s a fact of life. On the other hand, are there techniques he might be able to use to improve the ratio? Yes. He learns those techniques by asking other successful sales people, reading books on sales, experimenting with new techniques and seeing how they work, and so on.

Asking people out is a numbers game as well. That is a fact of life. You will be rejected many times for each acceptance. When you are 30 and you have asked many people out you understand the pattern and are more comfortable with it. You know that when a person says, "No" it is meaningless. But when you first start asking people out it can be really depressing because you don’t understand.

The funny thing about asking people out is that it is a pretty bad numbers game. Let me show you why. Go to a mall or shopping center and sit on a bench where a lot of people will walk by. Take a pad of paper and a pencil. If you are a guy I want you to look at every female that walks by. If you are a girl look at every guy. Here is what I want you to do. On the pad of paper I want you to make two columns. In the left column you are going to put a mark as each person walks by. This will let you count all of the people you are looking at.

So if you are a guy I want you to put a mark in the left column for every female that walks past. Now, as each female walks by I want you to look at her and decide if you would like to go out with her. If so, put a second mark in the right column. You are doing this based strictly on appearance alone, which I realize is superficial, but I want you to do it anyway. So the first female to go by will be 60 and you will make a mark in the left column. You will say to yourself, "Too old," so you will make no mark in the right column. The next female to go by is 5, so you make a mark in the left column and not in the right. Now the third female to go by is about your age, but you do not find her attractive. Again mark the left column but not the right. Eventually a female will walk by that you might consider asking out. Put a mark in both the left and right columns.

What you are going to find is that there are a lot more marks on the left side than there are on the right. That is one thing that makes dating a numbers game. But there is something else that makes it a numbers game, and that is the fact that it goes both ways. Let’s say you find that your ratio on your sheet of paper is 20 to 1 (or it might be as high as 200 to 1—it depends on the person and the environment). For every 20 females that walk by, one is "acceptable" to you.

Let’s say that that is a consistent ratio for all people: 20 to 1. Let’s say you call a girl up. What you must keep in mind is that she has a twenty to one ratio as well, and you may not be on her list. There is only a 5% chance that you are on her list, in fact. Why might you not be on her list? Who knows? Why did you find only one out of every 20 girls attractive? Some were too fat, some were too thin, some had stupid hair, some wore ugly shoes… You are as fickle as anyone else. Why do some people like Big Macs and some like Filet O’ Fish? BECAUSE. There is no reason! It is totally random! It is the same way for guys and girls.

What you can begin to see from this, if you do the math, is that the probability of you liking someone and them actually liking you back enough to go out with you is pretty minuscule. If the average for each person is 20 to 1, then that means that there is a 1 in 400 chance of any given female actually saying "Yes" when any given male asks her out. Pretty bad odds!

So what is "love at first sight?" It is that rare, one in a million shot that you look at someone and think, "Wow, if only this person would go out with me, I would be in heaven", and the other person looks at you and thinks exactly the same thing. In that case it is a perfect match. It doesn’t happen very often because the odds are really low, but it does happen occasionally.

Given that asking people out and dating is a numbers game and is also totally random, there are a few conclusions you can draw. You can also answer a lot of questions. Let’s go through some of them.

Why do some guys get all the girls? Let’s say a guy is really handsome. When he calls up a girl and asks her out, his probability of success is higher. It is not 100%, but it is higher. That is a fact of life. Fortunately, only a tiny percentage of the population is startlingly attractive. The rest of us have other gifts. Live with it.

Is there anything you can do to improve the odds of success? Yes. Some car salespeople are better than others. Part of it is natural talent. But all the rest is learned through experience. Experience means practice—the more people you ask out, the easier it gets. If you have people skills and lots of people like you, the odds rise quite a bit (see Chapter 15). If you are confident in yourself, the odds also rise (see Chapter 14).

You can also learn to recognize signals. People give off signals when they like each other (and when they don’t). Teenagers are notoriously bad at recognizing the signals because they are new to the game. Adults can see from a mile away when two teenagers like each other because they understand the signals. Start watching the people around you at school carefully and you will begin to see these signals everywhere.


posted by chaz at 11:10 PM on April 15, 2002 [1 favorite]


when all else fails, a jar of mayonnaise usually does the trick.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:38 PM on April 15, 2002


So does the SuperBurger ever hook up with the car salesman? I got confused.
posted by iceberg273 at 6:34 AM on April 16, 2002


Actually, there's a famous probability problem that's like this -- there's a bunch of different numbers in a hat, and you're going to pick them out randomly one by one. For each number, you get to either keep it and the game ends, or throw it away and you can never have that number again. You're trying to get the largest number, though you do not know what any of the numbers are.

If you know how many numbers there are total, there is an optimal strategy.

It involves e.
posted by meep at 8:30 AM on April 16, 2002


optimal strategy: gobble as much of that stuff as you can find, fuck the numbers and the hat (metaphorically) and head over to your girlfriend's house (literally).
posted by mlang at 9:07 AM on April 16, 2002


gobble gobble?
posted by mlang at 9:24 AM on April 17, 2002


robble robble?
posted by mlang at 9:24 AM on April 17, 2002


well excuuuuuuse me for posting a dumb ecstacy joke. i'll just go back to writing lenghty, zachs_mind-style posts that nobody reads. fine!
posted by mlang at 9:26 AM on April 17, 2002


you had hamburglers?
posted by mlang at 9:26 AM on April 17, 2002


It involves e.

Hurrah for probability! e is our friend. We need not fear e.
posted by j.edwards at 2:54 AM on April 22, 2002


We need not fear e.

Not since we found e dead on the men's room floor anyway.

Thank you cheeseburgers and prescription pills!
posted by Kafkaesque at 4:10 PM on April 23, 2002


Wow...the Tao of Chaz...
posted by y2karl at 11:57 PM on April 23, 2002


Shouldn't that be "Wao"?
posted by rodii at 7:44 AM on April 25, 2002


Let's not speak of raw lettuce and uncut cheeseburgers.

(/tao joke)
posted by SpecialK at 9:59 AM on April 25, 2002


LAST POST!
posted by jcterminal at 2:24 PM on April 25, 2002


Fat chance.
posted by jaden at 5:53 PM on April 26, 2002


Oh, going back to my comment...

first of all, you have to know the total number of um, numbers. We'll call this n. (Because it's always called n.)

Secondly, the strategy is this: let the first n/e (ok, let's see, ceil(n/e)) numbers pass by, remembering the highest number in this group. Then, once you've passed the "automatic trash" range, you keep the first number that's larger than the largest number in the throwaway group.

This gets you the largest number with probability 1/e.

Of course, this is all as n goes to infinity.
posted by meep at 3:39 PM on April 29, 2002


Boo!
posted by Zora Neale Hurston at 5:23 PM on May 11, 2002


Aaahhhh!!!! Don't scare me like that.
posted by pardonyou? at 12:12 PM on May 13, 2002


Sorry.
posted by Neale at 7:30 AM on June 5, 2002


Apology accepted.
posted by j.edwards at 9:34 AM on June 12, 2002


not the last post.
posted by fnord_prefect at 10:18 PM on June 16, 2002


The hell you say.
posted by ColdChef at 2:15 PM on June 19, 2002


I'm back from my sojourn. Did I miss anything?
posted by youhas at 6:02 PM on July 2, 2002


Ummm...nope. Looks like you hit 'em all.
posted by ColdChef at 8:54 AM on July 9, 2002


Move out of the way, civilians, coz here comes a tactical airstrike on Rodii's riches!
posted by Neale at 6:47 PM on July 22, 2002


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