July 11, 2006

12:06 PM

"Hi, can someone help me kill my roommate's cat"
posted by necessitas to etiquette/policy at 12:06 PM (140 comments total)

I am not a fan of closing AskMe posts, but I am concerned someone will actually suggest an effective way for him to go through with killing his roommate's cat. That would be rather sad.
posted by necessitas at 12:07 PM on July 11, 2006

I'm with necessitas on this one.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:09 PM on July 11, 2006

The most eponysterical posting ever. On several levels. Hot damn.
posted by iconomy at 12:13 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

The question was: "So what's the best way to put a cat to sleep?"

The answer is: warm milk.

The end.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:14 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

I refuse to believe this question is real.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:14 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

I refuse to believe this question is real.

Ditto.
posted by gsteff at 12:17 PM on July 11, 2006

The Giant Pill should have just waited and posted this to MetaKarma.
posted by gigawhat? at 12:17 PM on July 11, 2006

Is it wrong that this very bad, very sad, disgusting AskMe has me all excited for the brutality that will follow here?
posted by zerokey at 12:17 PM on July 11, 2006

This AxMe should be closed but not deleted.
posted by bshort at 12:20 PM on July 11, 2006

From the AskMe thread:

I don't have a cat or a dog but if I did and I came home to find that my relatively new roommate had intentionally killed my cat I WOULD BEAT MY ROOMMATE UNCONSCIOUS before I did anything else.

This is a very bad idea.
posted by 517

I disagree. Beating the roommate unconscious before doing anything else is not such a bad idea.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:21 PM on July 11, 2006

Would it have been okay if, like the old "corpse disposal" question, if the asker had framed it as a hypothetical?
posted by Skot at 12:22 PM on July 11, 2006

Please limit comments to answers or help in finding an answer. can't you morons understand?

How is this different from the stalker meta below?
posted by Justinian at 12:24 PM on July 11, 2006

Someone posted this to make a point about the alleged stalker post.

It's got be some kind of test for the admins and community.
posted by xmutex at 12:24 PM on July 11, 2006

I enjoy if salting my posts with if superfluous ifs if.
posted by Skot at 12:24 PM on July 11, 2006

(Oops, I failed to clip... the "can't you morons understand" is a quote, not me calling you folks morons!)
posted by Justinian at 12:24 PM on July 11, 2006

Holy fucking shit!
posted by loquacious at 12:27 PM on July 11, 2006

This is definitely a con. And I agree with xmutex - it's a test.
posted by iconomy at 12:31 PM on July 11, 2006

I think this has something to do with that MeCha thread. This can't be real.
posted by peep at 12:31 PM on July 11, 2006

It's got be some kind of test for the admins and community.

WTF happens if we flunk? My student loans are paid off, but you fuckers are skr3w3d.
posted by yerfatma at 12:33 PM on July 11, 2006

Keep up with the post, folks.
posted by vacapinta at 12:36 PM on July 11, 2006

Shoot it.
Step on its head.
Set out a bowl of antifreeze.
Bury it alive.
Back over it with your car.
Kick it.
Bat it.
Filet it.
Fry it.
Bake it.
Wrap a string toy around the neck.
Back over it with your car.
Feed it to a hungry dog.
Feed it to a hungry cat.
Hit it with a blunt object.
Hit it with a sharp object.
Blend it.
Stick a curling iron in it, and then turn it on.


Who the hell cares anyway? Question seems designed to bother people. It might as well be a question about fat people, SUV's, or whatever the latest hot-button MeFi thing is.
posted by fake at 12:40 PM on July 11, 2006

There must be 50 ways to kill your kitty
posted by InfidelZombie at 12:43 PM on July 11, 2006

Microwave?
posted by xmutex at 12:44 PM on July 11, 2006

There must be 50 ways to kill your kitty

And 101 ways not to let it go to waste.
posted by Gator at 12:47 PM on July 11, 2006

I think I'm going to fail.
posted by OmieWise at 12:48 PM on July 11, 2006

I think this has something to do with that MeCha thread. This can't be real.

Thirded. [MetaChat: "If you wanted to post an Ask Metafilter question that would generate a lot of controversy, a flamewar, or just incredulity, what would you post?"
posted by ericb at 12:48 PM on July 11, 2006

Yeah, this seems like bullshit to me. If nothing else, I have a hard time believing anyone is this dense:

I guess that's is the right thing to do, have her decide it is the right thing to do. What is the best way to convince her to do this?
posted by prostyle at 12:49 PM on July 11, 2006

A whole bunch of rogue agents over at MetaChat there. A goddamned Red Scare, that place.
posted by xmutex at 12:51 PM on July 11, 2006

Who the hell cares anyway? Question seems designed to bother people. It might as well be a question about fat people, SUV's, or whatever the latest hot-button MeFi thing is.

He already did fat.

Uh...so to speak.
posted by lucien at 12:54 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

Get the torches. We've got a troll.
posted by xmutex at 12:55 PM on July 11, 2006

I told the poster how to kill the cat, what do I win
posted by matteo at 12:55 PM on July 11, 2006

A dead cat.
posted by Cyrano at 12:57 PM on July 11, 2006

Justinian beat you to it.
posted by vacapinta at 12:59 PM on July 11, 2006

The internet went down at work, sorry I didn't get to this earlier. You're right, it's a misuse of AskMe.
posted by jessamyn at 1:03 PM on July 11, 2006

There is more than one way to skin a cat.
posted by mattbucher at 1:04 PM on July 11, 2006

Thank you, jessamyn.
posted by vraxoin's cats at 1:07 PM on July 11, 2006

Yes, I beat you Matteo. Ahhh, antifreeze. What can't you do?
posted by Justinian at 1:10 PM on July 11, 2006

I don't understand the idea that this is a misuse of Askme, but then I don't much like cats.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:12 PM on July 11, 2006

Metachat left that business behind a long time ago. Now we're having a party with a pool full of mojitos.
posted by matildaben at 1:21 PM on July 11, 2006

mr_crash_davis, I couldn't agree more, but then again I think that the cat owning roommate is selfish and cruel for letting the cat continue to suffer.
posted by shoepal at 1:21 PM on July 11, 2006

Yes, I beat you Matteo

OK, but my method involved syringes
posted by matteo at 1:26 PM on July 11, 2006

I think that the cat owning roommate

shoepal, my friend, it's an "alleged" roommate. the poster's askmefi posting history is a greatest hits of flamebait.
posted by matteo at 1:28 PM on July 11, 2006

Justinian, you can beat me only if your method involves ninjas
posted by matteo at 1:32 PM on July 11, 2006

man, that guy is a dick.
posted by puke & cry at 1:36 PM on July 11, 2006

The antifreeze was manufactured by ninjas.
posted by Justinian at 1:37 PM on July 11, 2006

I know, matteo, I know.
posted by shoepal at 1:38 PM on July 11, 2006

Well, at least he named himself appropriately. He is being a giant pill.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 1:50 PM on July 11, 2006

The AskMe-er acknowledged the "killing the cat is not your problem" comments, backed down, and asked for help getting his roommate to take the cat to the vet. I vote meh on the deletion reason.
posted by desuetude at 1:57 PM on July 11, 2006

I would like to thank everyone for their answers and advice. Just to clarify, I'm not trying to kill the cat because it's evil and I hate it. It's just not a healthy/happy cat. Said roommate has acknowledged that the cat needs to be put down, I was just trying to think of a way to *help* her and the cat. She is just genuinely having a hard time with the issue. This cat has been with her for god knows how long and she's extremely attached. I thought it just might be better for her mentally if the cat seemed to have passed on from natural causes.

Question seems designed to bother people.

I'm sorry if this post bothered you. I feel that putting this animal down is the *compassionate* thing to do. I've had many occasions to be around when animals were put down (or without a gun), but never on the sly. I'm not used to being sneaky. Maybe I should study the ways to the ninja.

shoepal, my friend, it's an "alleged" roommate. the poster's askmefi posting history is a greatest hits of flamebait.

My other posts show a /greatest/ history of flamebait? The only one that could possibly be considered flamebait is the one about my girlfriend. My post about my girlfriend had *nothing* to do with this at all. We are doing very well now fuck you very much.

man, that guy is a dick.

No, I'm trying to take care of my roommate. I would be a dick if I posted this picture [nsfw] all over the damn place.

I've talked her to her and she has agreed to let me pay to take the cat to the vet for pain medication. I'm sure the vet will have a better way to deal with her emotions then iI do about this subject.
posted by the giant pill at 1:59 PM on July 11, 2006

(Especially since the how to stalk an ex-con celebrity-criminal question stayed put...)
posted by desuetude at 1:59 PM on July 11, 2006

er

I've had many occasions to be around when animals were put down (but not without a gun)
posted by the giant pill at 2:01 PM on July 11, 2006

No, I'm trying to take care of my roommate. I would be a dick if I posted this picture all over the damn place.

Dude, you wanted to kill your roomate's cat without her knowing. If it's not dropping bait into the water, it's beyond being a dick, it's sociopathic.
posted by xmutex at 2:05 PM on July 11, 2006

Today is indeed a grand day for MetaTalk.
posted by Stauf at 2:09 PM on July 11, 2006

I hope this guy's girlfriend finally moved on. I really hope they didn't become roommates.
posted by geoff. at 2:10 PM on July 11, 2006

cat-chucking is not the most advisable solution, regardless.
posted by cortex at 2:12 PM on July 11, 2006

the giant pill writes "I would be a dick if I posted this picture all over the damn place."

Thanks for the NSFW on the link there, buddy.
posted by chiababe at 2:15 PM on July 11, 2006

/me starts googling for furries, sends a tiger to maul thegiantpill
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 2:16 PM on July 11, 2006

I thought it just might be better for her mentally if the cat seemed to have passed on from natural causes.

Dude, you need some help. That's not a normal reaction. You're talking about killing someone's pet because you think it's too old.

That's never your call to make.
posted by bshort at 2:25 PM on July 11, 2006

Well, in fairness, my picture was animated.
posted by puke & cry at 2:33 PM on July 11, 2006

I am concerned someone will actually suggest an effective way for him to go through with killing his roommate's cat. That would be rather sad.

No, that would be a best answer.
posted by jack_mo at 2:42 PM on July 11, 2006

It's blatant double standards that "this is not the place for advice on killing others' pets", but it apparently is the place figuring out how to stalk people. Silly line to draw.
posted by reklaw at 2:43 PM on July 11, 2006

the giant pill, if you can't see the level of psycho in your last two statements you should be worried.
posted by 517 at 2:43 PM on July 11, 2006

Dude, you need some help. That's not a normal reaction. You're talking about killing someone's pet because you think it's too old.

That's never your call to make.

This is not a cat that I think is too old. This is a cat is very sick and very miserable. And my roommate agrees with me that that the cat should be put down. She just doesn't want to be the one to "pull the trigger." She doesn't want to feel responsible for killing her cat. She knows the cat is in pain and not happy.

So:

1: The cat is not healthy -- she agrees.
2: The cat is not happy -- she agrees.
3: This animal is in pain and suffering -- she agrees.
4: She thinks it would be better for it not to suffer.
5: She lacks the fortitude to "pull the trigger" and she knows it.

I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt her cat. They are already hurting. I want to help them both. I've agreed with the chorus in the ask me post that's it's not ethical or legal in for me to do myself. I didn't really even think about who owns the cat really, because I provide much of it care. My roommate and I pretty much share the responsibility for taking care of the cat. I just want this constant pain that is front of me to be healed.


the giant pill, if you can't see the level of psycho in your last two statements you should be worried.

You mean this one:
I've talked her to her and she has agreed to let me pay to take the cat to the vet for pain medication. I'm sure the vet will have a better way to deal with her emotions then iI do about this subject.
posted by the giant pill at 2:46 PM on July 11, 2006

Wow, I was not expecting that picture. Chickenfucking, ahoy. People do that?
posted by sugarfish at 2:46 PM on July 11, 2006

Thanks for the NSFW on the link there, buddy.

No kidding. Not funny. tgp, I was trying to keep an open mind about your story, but after that stunt, I hope your fat girlfriend stuffs the bald cat down your throat, jackass.
posted by Gamblor at 2:54 PM on July 11, 2006

I heard they answered questions
I heard they had a hive
And so I came to read their
Collective good advice
And thanks to helpful strangers
I barely made it out alive!

Plotting my pain with their fingers
Threatening my life with their words
Killing meow softly with AskMe
Killing meow softly
With AskMe
Threatening my nine lives
With their words
Killing meow softly...
With AskMe...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:58 PM on July 11, 2006 [4 favorites]

sorry about that nsfw image. can matt or jess fix that please?
posted by the giant pill at 2:58 PM on July 11, 2006

fake - While you have a suitably long list of options, none of them answer the OP's question, which was 'how do I kill the cast without my roomate knowing'. (emphasis mine)

But hey, the question is gone, the poster demurred, can we get a [close] on this thread?
posted by raedyn at 3:04 PM on July 11, 2006

Wow. This has got to be some sort of Greatest Moments in Meta. The chicken fucking pic really topped it off. Anyways pill, I don't think you're a sociopath, just very frustrated. But yeah, killing other people's pets is wrong. Unless you're drunk in which case it counts as an act of God for moral and legal reasons. Anyways, I'm sure you're very frustrated and it's too bad AskMe couldn't help you out. Then again... really, killing a cat isn't difficult. I'm sure you'll figure something out.
posted by nixerman at 3:06 PM on July 11, 2006

BTW, why isn't there a Greatest Moments in Meta on the wiki?
posted by nixerman at 3:07 PM on July 11, 2006

never have I seen a crowd so ripe for lemonpartying.
posted by fishfucker at 3:09 PM on July 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

[I nsfw'ed the chicken pic. I feel responsible for it anyhow.]
posted by jessamyn at 3:12 PM on July 11, 2006

What a thankless task matt and jessamyn have, having to "fix" problems like that.
posted by Jimbob at 3:12 PM on July 11, 2006

So is it ok to link to chicken fucking but not to goatse?
posted by marxchivist at 3:17 PM on July 11, 2006

I think we've got a serial killer in the making here.

Your honor, all those young women were hurting! All 55 of them! I was helping them! Your honor I am a helpful giving person!
posted by xmutex at 3:18 PM on July 11, 2006

Your honor, all those young women were hurting! All 55 of them! I was helping them! Your honor I am a helpful giving person!

xmutex: Yeah, I don't write people off when the going get tough.
posted by the giant pill at 3:43 PM on July 11, 2006

I'm sure there is some kind of connection there in your mind, but I won't pretend to understand what you're saying.
posted by xmutex at 3:46 PM on July 11, 2006

You know, it could have been worse. The question could have been about declawing the roomate's cat. Or circumsizing it. Ot eating the roommate's cat's mushrooms.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:48 PM on July 11, 2006

It's Raining Florence Henderson -- some MeFite ought to put those words to music. "Killing Meow Softly." Any takers?
posted by ericb at 3:59 PM on July 11, 2006

This thread is full of rpetards.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:08 PM on July 11, 2006

I liked the part about not being able to call in the "calvary" because it seems there are people who would like to crucify the giant pill.
posted by grouse at 4:32 PM on July 11, 2006

The answer to the question was obvious to begin with, it's the OP's username for crying out loud! [Imagines giant pill of death]
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 5:31 PM on July 11, 2006

Would giving my roommate's cat to Karla Homolka be an effective way of ensuring its release from this vale of tears, and, if so, how would I go about finding her?
posted by IshmaelGraves at 5:35 PM on July 11, 2006

You can't see the psycho? It all seems reasonable to you? You don't think that your roommate may have other motives for keeping the cat alive, other than procrastination?

You should be worried the giant pill. It's the psychos that think they are acting in a completely reasonable fashion and in the best interest of others. The thing is, they do it inspite of what the overwhelming majority of society, who has perspective on the situation, thinks.

If you where this person's mother or father your actions might be reasonable. You aren't, you are grossly overstepping your bounds.

You should be worried if you can't see that in a week or two, when the defensive reaction to being piled on has passed.
posted by 517 at 5:39 PM on July 11, 2006

backstory of the chicken image
posted by Rhomboid at 6:37 PM on July 11, 2006

I think this has something to do with that MeCha thread.
"Wouldn't this be better suited for AskMe?"

And while I understand the giant pill's POV - what's so wrong about sympathizing for an animal who is suffering a protracted death? - dude, it's not your cat.

Assuming there is a cat.


Me, I'd use Carbon Monoxide or ether.
Assuming there is a cat.

Oh, and:
man, that guy is a dick.
posted by puke & cry

Comedy gold.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:54 PM on July 11, 2006

I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt her cat. They are already hurting. I want to help them both. I've agreed with the chorus in the ask me post that's it's not ethical or legal in for me to do myself. I didn't really even think about who owns the cat really, because I provide much of it care. My roommate and I pretty much share the responsibility for taking care of the cat. I just want this constant pain that is front of me to be healed.

And yet, IT'S NOT YOUR CAT. YOU DON'T GET TO MAKE THAT DECISION.
posted by bshort at 7:09 PM on July 11, 2006

I am not a fan of closing AskMe posts, but I am concerned someone will actually suggest an effective way for him to go through with killing his roommate's cat. That would be rather sad.

I'm sorry, but the ethical burden is on the person who takes the advice and kills the cat, not on any answerer of the question (who isn't actually there and doesn't really know everything about the situation). There is absolutely no ethical implication to leaving the thread open. "This isn't the place to 'x'" is Matt/Jessamyn's standard answer for "not my style," which, IMHO, is a sucky excuse even though their style is generally okay.

Why isn't this the place for 'x?' Seriously. These deletion reasons come across as so monachical.
posted by scarabic at 7:33 PM on July 11, 2006

Scarabic, I might agree with you if he asked about killing his own cat. I would have found that question to be disgusting, but in that case, there is no victim. He asked about killing his roommate's cat. While we won't have to suffer the consequences of that, it would break his roommate's heart. We aren't here for that (at least I don't think we are).

Would it be ok if he asked for help in stealing stealing something from his roommate? Everyone objected to the "help me defraud an ebay auction winner". I don't see the difference.
posted by necessitas at 7:48 PM on July 11, 2006

Wouldn't the obvious answer be "locate Karla Homolka and let HER deal with the cat?"

Two birds with one stone and all that...
posted by tyllwin at 8:10 PM on July 11, 2006

Metafilter: The chicken fucking pic really topped it off.

couldn't resist
posted by clevershark at 8:13 PM on July 11, 2006

You should probably reread this, then.

He doesn't want to snuff it because it's shedding or meowing all night, the cat's miserable, the roomies are miserable, and the best thing for all involved would be for that pain to end.

This high horse MoralityFilter shit is getting tired.
However, just as Yeller was Travis' dog, so the cat is the roommate's responsibility, and ultimately the best thing tgp can do is be supportive.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:23 PM on July 11, 2006

Tell me about the Rabbits again, George.
posted by loquacious at 8:27 PM on July 11, 2006

Scarabic, I might agree with you if he asked about killing his own cat. I would have found that question to be disgusting, but in that case, there is no victim. He asked about killing his roommate's cat. While we won't have to suffer the consequences of that, it would break his roommate's heart.

I see where you're coming from. I read the question in full and found that it contained a genuinely compassionate concern for the quality of life of the cat.

I am a cat lover and have put 2 to sleep in the past year to my extreme sorrow and dismay, so much so that I can understand how someone less emotionally reliable might make the wrong decision about when to pull the trigger. People can be incredibly self-serving about prolonging the suffering of a beloved furry companion because they simply don't have the moral strength to make a life-or-death decision. I don't know if I would step into such a situation to take the cat out, but I can appreciate that the dilemma exists.

As I said, there is an ethical burden on the person asking the question. There are issues of property, compassion, and information to consider. Has the roommate consulted a doctor? If not, then any action to end the cat's life may be premature. What's the roommate's level of mental/emotional competency? Who knows? The picture might be one of utter horrific torture of an innocent animal for the sake of some criminally negligent moron's whimsy.

But again, these issues are the ethical concern of the asker. I am and have always been the advocate of "answer the question asked," and it gives me pride to be such even now when it clashes with my generally unbounded love of all beings feline.

Here's the thing: there is an incredibly limited amount you can accomplish on the Green. You cannot enter someone's life, you cannot reconnoiter their circumstances, you cannot articulate a moral education in terms their bildungsroman will assimilate instantly. You can serve their request for knowledge or you can interrupt their quest for it. That's really all you can do. You can't re-educate them on the fly or bring all their assumptions into question. It's not a moral consensus engine. It's just not.

Some questions seek ethical input. Some do not. If you know jack shit about people, you should know that you cannot stuff ethical input down their throats when they don't want it. Nor is censoring their speech and denying them practical knowledge an answer to their moral quandary, if one exists. And the truth is you don't even know one exists, or what its dimensions are if it does.

I really wish people would stop putting AskMe on a pedestal as if it had tremendous power. It is a medium between members for knowledge exchange, not a time capsule by which future generations will judge the ethical fiber of humanity.

Be useful. Be helpful. Or begone.
posted by scarabic at 8:35 PM on July 11, 2006

Man, you guys are sure overreacting to the chicken image. I thought by now it was a solid injoke. Especially with puke & cry's gif.
posted by graventy at 8:41 PM on July 11, 2006

scarabic writes "Why isn't this the place for 'x?' Seriously. These deletion reasons come across as so monachical."

Don't like how they run the place? The door is thataway.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:46 PM on July 11, 2006

Scarabic, thank you for expressing a lot of what I was too much of a pussy to say. Though, I really wish you had mentioned that the OP could remove his toilet from the floor and use the largest pipeline out of the house to dispose of the sick animal. That would have been classic.
posted by shoepal at 8:50 PM on July 11, 2006

Thank you for your thoughtful response to my post, dirtynumbangelboy. You know, I'm glad you brought this issue to my attention. In the 3 long years between my joining and yours, I never gave it a thought, nor in all the time since. I owe you an eternal debt for reminding me of the obvious.

[/sarcasm so extreme I almost shat myself]

To aspire past the obvious for a moment, I invite you to consider that Matt and Jessamyn, while empowered with admin privileges, are not the entirety of MetaFilter. If you'd paid better attention, you'd better understand that the overall direction of this venture called MetaFilter is a collaborative effort. And Matt/Jess themselves are in fact responsive to feedback and consensus to large degree.

What disappoints me is when they do exert sudden and unexplained force over the course of a thread, sometimes with nothing more than a glib remark in response. If anything, I think their past achievements have brought the site to a place where it deserves and demands more than a snap judgment and an acerbic remark when editorial judgment is applied.

This is not least because applying editorial judgment implies responsibility for the content of this site (despite footer disclaimers that proclaim copyright held by authors, the site admins are responsible for content if they demonstrate, um, governance over it).
posted by scarabic at 8:58 PM on July 11, 2006

I think their past achievements have brought the site to a place where it deserves and demands more than a snap judgment and an acerbic remark when editorial judgment is applied.

Maybe. I'm guessing Matt could probably afford to increase the character limit on the deletion reason field, although - being realistic - explaining reasons more fully won't do a damn thing to stop folks from whining in MeTa when their precious oozings get mopped up off the floor. Keeping it short and sweetly acerbic probably works as well as anything would.

Don't like how they run the place? The door is thataway.

What the fuck, dirtynumb?
posted by mediareport at 9:23 PM on July 11, 2006

ericb: -- some MeFite ought to put those words to music. "Killing Meow Softly." Any takers?

Don't tempt me.
posted by Meep! Eek! at 9:26 PM on July 11, 2006

I am a cat lover and have put 2 to sleep in the past year to my extreme sorrow and dismay, so much so that I can understand how someone less emotionally reliable might make the wrong decision about when to pull the trigger. People can be incredibly self-serving about prolonging the suffering of a beloved furry companion because they simply don't have the moral strength to make a life-or-death decision. I don't know if I would step into such a situation to take the cat out, but I can appreciate that the dilemma exists.

Damn skippy. As both a life-long pet owner who has had kids put down and a professional pet-sitter that has been put in some really damn awkward situations, I completely agree with you.

Let me cite one anecdote:
We've a client that is normally taken care of by my Business Partner (henceforth as BP) that at the time had one cat and four dogs. BP knew both the client himself and the animals much better than I, but I got to know them both under normal circumstances, when BP was taking time off.

I covered for BP one weekend a few months back and ran into two of the four dogs showing the following traits:

A: running in circles. Pick her up, put her next to her food, all she would do was run circles. Couldn't find water, food, or my hand.

S: Just wouldn't walk. Her hip dysplesia had gotten so bad that she literally couldn't move. I had to pick her up and put her in front of her food/water, which she wouldn't even acknowledge or recognize.

I spent and hour and fortyfive minutes at this household suffering through the frustration and confusion with them. Said client is a great guy...huge heart for rescue, but is so hesitant to let go of them that it hurts the kids more.

I called my BP and let him know about the situation. Less than two weeks later, both of those dogs were put down, simultaneously*.

As a pet sitter, I've mourned the loss of pets that weren't, literally, mine, like they were my own. I understand how f'ing hard it is to send them to the death chamber.

So, that said, Bitter Pill, on the odd chance you're not a troll and just (please god please) phrased a question in a *very* unfortunate way, go back and read my comment in your thread. Or anyone else confronting the potential or iminent or sudden loss of your pets. There is help out there and you're not alone for feeling completely lost because you lost your furry friend.

*Must've been really, really tough to lose two at once.

**Also, by no means am I insinuating that I would *ever under any circumstances do anything medically to a pet without the owners' permission.
posted by Ufez Jones at 9:32 PM on July 11, 2006

mediareport writes "Don't like how they run the place? The door is thataway.

"What the fuck, dirtynumb?"

WTF what? Asking a constructive question is one thing. Asking for clarification is one thing. Shitting all over a pair of people who--until recently--made zero money off this site (and frankly I doubt that Jessamyn gets anything more than a thank-you) is crass.



scarabic writes "Thank you for your thoughtful response to my post, dirtynumbangelboy. You know, I'm glad you brought this issue to my attention. In the 3 long years between my joining and yours, I never gave it a thought, nor in all the time since. I owe you an eternal debt for reminding me of the obvious."

And of course, in those three years I never read the site. At all. Ever. And of course, those three years give you the right to tell everyone what they are and are not allowed to say. Does that mean that someone who joined before you did can tell you to STFU? Somehow I doubt you'd take that.

Fuck off.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:44 PM on July 11, 2006

If anything, I think their past achievements have brought the site to a place where it deserves and demands more than a snap judgment and an acerbic remark when editorial judgment is applied.

I disagree.

Most of what you would describe as snap judgements strike me as being no brainers, and I agree with mediareport when he says that longer reasons for deletion wouldn't make a lick of difference.

IMO, most deletions don't even deserve an acerbic quip, but I think that by being concise, authoritative, and often funny, they resolve things better than some 500 word tract, which would probably just open a couple dozen cans of worms:
-"Why did Billy's deletion get a two paragraph explanation, and mine only got a sentence fragment?"
-"You know Matt, if the post violated the guidelines that's fine, but how dare you lecture me."
-"I interpreted Jess' eigth sentence as being a slam against me. I demand an apology... uh, upon rereading the reason for deletion, I realize she was actually quoting Chaucer. Sorry for opening this MeTa."
-"When did this place get so serious and condescending?"
-"Wah wah wah, etc."

Besides, I'm pretty sure the sheriffs have better things to do with their time than compose Odes To Deleted Crap.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:53 PM on July 11, 2006

Curse you, dirtynumbangelboy for using my scripted response to any possibly future STFU n00b!s ("Not only was the day I joined MeFi the first time I had ever visited the site, golly, it was my first day on teh internets evar!1!un").
I was saving that!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:01 PM on July 11, 2006

So, that said, Bitter Pill,

I meant the Giant Pill. I think there's someone else here called The Bitter Pill. Sorry, 39K user names are hard to keep track of.
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:12 PM on July 11, 2006

Most of what you would describe as snap judgements strike me as being no brainers

Actually we don't disagree that much. Most of their calls I agree with as well. I still wish they were articulated better. For such a purpose I would respect a consistent vocabulary regardless of happenstance agreement or dsisagreement with the content of any single decision.

I mean, on some level you have to admit that it doesn't matter if you just happen to agree with most of the calls that get made, but if you think the right system in in place for informing each individual call.

Generally, I think it is. Matt makes a big show of wielding his fancy (with glib deletion reasons, for example) but he does in fact listen and care deeply what people think.

This is why I continute to give him shit (because on some level I know he wants it) and why I now ignore people who say "it's Matt's site, live with it."
posted by scarabic at 10:19 PM on July 11, 2006

MetaFilter: precious oozings.

Yeah, I think that's my third annoying tagline in 24 hours, but it's been a manic 24 hours. So spank me. Spank me again and tell me what you think of Chomsky.
posted by loquacious at 10:53 PM on July 11, 2006

And of course, in those three years I never read the site. At all. Ever.

Frankly I am biased toward those who've actively participted versus those who've merely lurked. In other words, don't expect any points for your years of lurking, n00b.

Welcome to why.
posted by scarabic at 11:24 PM on July 11, 2006

I never think of Chomsky. Sorry.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:57 PM on July 11, 2006

but you just did! now spank.
posted by Hat Maui at 12:14 AM on July 12, 2006

Your question could have been worded a little better, but I don't think it should have been deleted.

Unfortunately, you posted a question on a topic that hits a lot of douchebag's buttons. The cat owner might as well have been a morbidly obese gay man pondering self-circumcision and declawing his dying cat, all using a Mac ®.
posted by blasdelf at 1:14 AM on July 12, 2006

And god bless us, every one!
posted by Justinian at 3:27 AM on July 12, 2006

MetaFilter: Odes to Deleted Crap
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:34 AM on July 12, 2006

On the convincing front perhaps the potential euthaniser can convince the cat owner to read or view 'Of Mice and Men', both of which have a message of taking personal responsibility for one's charges. Perhaps there are other possibilities which MeFites might like to suggest?
posted by biffa at 4:38 AM on July 12, 2006

scarabic writes "Frankly I am biased toward those who've actively participted versus those who've merely lurked. In other words, don't expect any points for your years of lurking, n00b."

Jesus Christ, you're a fucking asshole, you know that?

I also noticed that you didn't respond to my point about someone who's been a user longer than you. Too inconvenient for you?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 4:52 AM on July 12, 2006

Well, I've been a user longer than him and have found him less annoying on the whole.
posted by cortex at 6:04 AM on July 12, 2006

Good for you, cortex. Unfortunately, thst's not my point.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:42 AM on July 12, 2006

Granted, but you two were having so much fun that I wanted to get in on the smarminess.
posted by cortex at 6:46 AM on July 12, 2006

I keep offering you smarminess, but from me you claim you will not take that thing from my hand. I want you to know that that hurts!
posted by OmieWise at 7:33 AM on July 12, 2006

I will not take this pseudo-Amish Witnessism from your hand.
posted by cortex at 7:37 AM on July 12, 2006

Anyone who says "I've been here longer than you" as a basis for argument, automatically loses that argument. Sorry.
posted by absalom at 7:41 AM on July 12, 2006

absalom, you've been here longer than me, so you should know better than that.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:48 AM on July 12, 2006

Yeah that was actually an asshole comment. I generally don't believe in seniority.
posted by scarabic at 7:49 AM on July 12, 2006

Except when it suits your purposes when you're being an asshole, of course.

Seriously, Atavan is a good thing. Try it sometime.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:18 AM on July 12, 2006

Might want to get that contrition detector looked at, dirtynumbangelboy.

And absalom, you've neglected the crucial edgecase: arguments about who has been around longer. Unless you're trying to collapse the universe with some Donnie Darko paradox shit, in which case you should really cut it out because (1) I like the universe and (2) that bunny is fucking scary.
posted by cortex at 8:23 AM on July 12, 2006

dirtynumbangelboy - You should drop it. Seriously.
posted by bshort at 8:25 AM on July 12, 2006

Oh should I, bshort? I don't think so. I have been condescended to and insulted by scarabic, who, had he so chosen, could have said the same things whilst remaining polite. And all I get is some half-assed BS excuse for an apology? No thanks.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:56 AM on July 12, 2006

Yes, you're probably right. Continue to argue with him in a public forum about his response to a rude comment that you shouldn't have made in the first place.

Just make sure you're acting like a raving lunatic and insulting anyone that tries to convince you that you'd be better off acting like a mature member of a well-known community.

Oh, and check to see that you have links to your other accounts / personal sites (e.g. your Livejournal page). That way people that you may want to convince of your sanity and levelheadedness will be able to find your words, here, and quickly come around to the realization that you're a complete and utter wanker.

Oh wait, you've done all that.

Carry on, then.
posted by bshort at 9:21 AM on July 12, 2006

scarabic has it.
posted by dead_ at 9:25 AM on July 12, 2006

Ah, bshort, what a shining example you're being! Tell me to act mature, and then go on to be rude, insulting, and condescending.

I didn't insult you, nor did I insult cortex. My comment to scarabic was in direct proportion to the venom of his attacks on Mattamyn, whereupon he let loose on me with both guns blazing.

Do as I say, not as I do... is that your motto?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 9:44 AM on July 12, 2006

Odes to Deleted Crap

In vast expanse of green or blue,
Where thoughts unbound are most imbued
With pure paternal pride,
A perfect snowflake fell to ground.
But mistaken for a steaming mound
So suffered crapicide.

The Mods saw not the crystalline grace,
Unique design on every face,
Frozen as life’s very essence.
So blinded by the heartless rules
To gaze on fleeting MetaJewels
And see naught but excrescence.

And so the Gods of steely gray
Unleashed their fury night and day
‘Til nearly all had drowned
As snowflake into blizzard turned.
The few survivors rose to learn
All the land had turned to brown.

Gone the blush of first romance,
With Pepsi Blue and fishy pants,
With l33ts and Godwinned demagogues.
The blogs were bogged in putrid piles
The Mefites gagged with greasy bile:
The Filter had been clogged!

But swift the Mods with learned fingers,
Swept all but a distasteful lingering
Odor into MetaPurgatory.
And thus the frozen URL
Guarded by those who lived to tell
The sordid, smelly story.

And so the ghost of winters past
Still haunts the proudly puckered ass
So eager to birth precious flakes.
And n00bs, thou wouldst be wise to heed
The whispered tales of past misdeeds
And motherfucking snakes.

For worse by far than mere deletion:
The fate of those whose obsoletion
Were determined by failed absolution.
But such the final MetaFate
For whom the Banhammer ‘waits -
Those wallowing in their own pollution.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:29 AM on July 12, 2006 [10 favorites]

< standing o>
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:36 AM on July 12, 2006

dirtynumbangelboy: He said they Matt/Jess gave a sucky excuse for removing a post, though he generally likes their style. If that's your idea of venom then maybe you don't get out much. Which might also explain your determination to look like a pillock.
posted by biffa at 10:36 AM on July 12, 2006

"the venom of his attacks on Mattamyn"

scarabic: "This isn't the place to 'x'" is Matt/Jessamyn's standard answer for "not my style," which, IMHO, is a sucky excuse even though their style is generally okay.

Oh, yeah. He totally ripped them a new one.

I have been condescended to...

This from the person who responded to scarabic's (not unreasonable) opinion with nothing more than:

Don't like how they run the place? The door is thataway.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:46 PM PST on July 11
posted by Stauf at 10:43 AM on July 12, 2006

A song and an ode! I ♥ It's Raining Florence Henderson.
posted by ericb at 11:37 AM on July 12, 2006

Wow that was awesome.
posted by scarabic at 11:46 AM on July 12, 2006

fuckin tie it to a fuckin bedpost with its ass cheeks spread out and shit. put a hanger on a fuckin stove and let that shit sit there for like a half hour. take it off and stick it in the its ass slow like... TSSSSSSSSSS!

fuckin lay its nuts on a fuckin dresser -- just its nuts layin on a fuckin dresser -- and bang them shits with a spiked fuckin bat. whassup? BLAOWWW!!

fuckin pull its fuckin tongue out its fuckin mouth and stab the shit with a rusty screwdriver, BLAOWW!!

fuckin hang it by its fuckin dick off a fuckin twelve sto-story building out this motherfucker.

fuckin sew its asshole closed, and keep feedin it...
and feedin it...
and feedin it...
and feedin it...
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 12:20 PM on July 12, 2006

btw, i was on the internet first so i win.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 12:33 PM on July 12, 2006

I believe that honor goes to bugbread.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:17 PM on July 12, 2006

Wu-Tang clan approves of this thread.
posted by Rhomboid at 3:13 PM on July 12, 2006