Who cares? I don't care.

November 22, 2006 6:37 AM

Who cares? I don't care. in fact, I don't care so much that I am going to type in a comment telling everyone how much I don't care.
posted by Kirth Gerson to bugs at 6:37 AM (120 comments total)

Meh.
posted by grateful at 6:41 AM on November 22, 2006

Probably, I should have posted it to etiquette, instead of bugs, but you know what? I just don't care that much.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:42 AM on November 22, 2006

Contentless shows of disdain are just as meaningful as contentless shows of support. But these aren't even contentless comments: in this particular instance "Bill O'Reilly's opinion is worthless" is the intent of most of these comments and that is a valid position that warrants expressing.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 6:42 AM on November 22, 2006

A horse's-a ass is a-better than yours!
posted by cortex at 6:45 AM on November 22, 2006 [2 favorites]

There, I just flagged that post as crap, just for you.
posted by smackfu at 6:46 AM on November 22, 2006

You know who is the king of not caring: keswick. That guy is awesome.
posted by chunking express at 6:46 AM on November 22, 2006

Thank you for this call out. It is something I care about deeply.
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 6:47 AM on November 22, 2006

Oh, hey, one of those is mine, even. Now the cibo mato quote seems almost retributive.

It was a post talking about a how a blowhard no-nothing said something stupid about a field he's unfamiliar with. What should I have done, given him a massage?

I care that his worthless and zero-impact snark on the subject was presented as anything worth attention. I do care, about the subject. If Will Wright had something to say, sure.
posted by cortex at 6:49 AM on November 22, 2006

do you care? really? c'mon, you don't care either.
posted by caddis at 6:49 AM on November 22, 2006

And this should matter to me because.... ?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:51 AM on November 22, 2006

My guess is that the posters don't find what Bill O'Reilly has to say worth considering. However, they do care that other people apparently rise to his bait.
posted by pardonyou? at 6:52 AM on November 22, 2006

What should I have done, given him a massage?

That's up to you.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:55 AM on November 22, 2006

*yawn*
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:59 AM on November 22, 2006

"What should I have done, given him a massage?"

Loofah, perhaps?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:01 AM on November 22, 2006

Loofah, perhaps?

No, falafel.
posted by iconomy at 7:12 AM on November 22, 2006

I like Bill O'Reilly. He's like the Hannibal Lector of the airwaves. Only without the charm and intellect. And he only eats our minds.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:22 AM on November 22, 2006

You let O'Reilly eat your mind? You must be really slow. The dude moves like a pregnant yak.
posted by loquacious at 7:27 AM on November 22, 2006

I don't care about this stupid callout.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 7:28 AM on November 22, 2006

We need more posts about John Humphrys. When John Humphrys talks people listen.
posted by public at 7:29 AM on November 22, 2006

Like a scene from The Care Bears Movie:

I care! I care! We care! WE CARE! WE CAAAAARE!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:34 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

That's up to you.

So, like, leaving a comment discounting his worthiness as a source on the subject of post, for example?
posted by cortex at 7:36 AM on November 22, 2006

posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson I like Bill O'Reilly. He's like the Hannibal Lector of the airwaves. Only without the charm and intellect. And he only eats our minds.

Bill O'Reilly is not the Hannibal Lecter of the airwaves. Bill O'Reilly is the Daffy Duck of the airwaves.
posted by fandango_matt at 7:36 AM on November 22, 2006

We care a lot about the gamblers and the pushers and the geeks
We care a lot about the crack and smack and whack that hits the street
We care a lot about the welfare of all the boys and girls
We care a lot about you people cause we're out to save the world

its a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
posted by GuyZero at 7:37 AM on November 22, 2006

I like Bill O'Reilly. He's like the Daffy Duck of the airwaves. Only without the orange beak. And he only eats our grasses, aquatic plants, fish, insects, small amphibians, worms, and small molluscs^.
posted by public at 7:40 AM on November 22, 2006

posted by ThePinkSuperhero Like a scene from The Care Bears Movie: I care! I care! We care! WE CARE! WE CAAAAARE!

Instead of CareBears, MetaFilter has Apathy Weasels.
posted by fandango_matt at 7:41 AM on November 22, 2006 [2 favorites]

so am i supposed to care, or supposed not to care and shut up, or am i supposed to feign caring, or am i supposed to feign not caring enough not to want to say anything?

or can i just do whatever the fuck i want and not care what people think?
posted by dflemingdotorg at 7:46 AM on November 22, 2006

posted by dflemingdotorg so am i supposed to care, or supposed not to care and shut up, or am i supposed to feign caring, or am i supposed to feign not caring enough not to want to say anything? or can i just do whatever the fuck i want and not care what people think?

You first need to make several posts repeatedly stating how little you care while simultaneously ignoring the glaring irony of making several posts repeatedly stating how little you care. Then, and only then, will we be convinced about how little you care.
posted by fandango_matt at 7:55 AM on November 22, 2006

Kirth Gerson, care to explain exactly what the etiquette issue is here? We understand that you don't like the "I don't care" comments in the O'Reilly thread, but what do you think should be done about them? Or, to follow the theme of this thread, why do you care about this?
posted by brain_drain at 7:59 AM on November 22, 2006

AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now have a small bloody spot on my forehead, and a big dent on my desk.
posted by edgeways at 8:00 AM on November 22, 2006

We understand that you don't like the "I don't care" comments in the O'Reilly thread, but what do you think should be done about them?

I don't think you and whoever else is included in "we" do understand. Did you miss the part where I said, "I don't care"?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:04 AM on November 22, 2006

I don't care at all for this callout!

(and of course I don't care if the same comment has been made before, as a matter of fact)
posted by clevershark at 8:04 AM on November 22, 2006

Technically, they were asking "who cares?" as in "why do we have to read about this crap?"
posted by Eideteker at 8:07 AM on November 22, 2006

Kirth, can you clarify what the hell you're getting at, please? Or at least clarify if you're not getting at anything at all? When you typed this post into the meta posting form, what did you have in mind?
posted by cortex at 8:07 AM on November 22, 2006

this girl cares (nsfw)
posted by pyramid termite at 8:09 AM on November 22, 2006

Did you miss the part where I said, "I don't care"?

/insert sad trombone sfx here
posted by prostyle at 8:14 AM on November 22, 2006

You first need to make several posts repeatedly stating how little you care while simultaneously ignoring the glaring irony of making several posts repeatedly stating how little you care. Then, and only then, will we be convinced about how little you care.

yeah, i don't care what you think.
posted by dflemingdotorg at 8:18 AM on November 22, 2006

When you typed this post into the meta posting form, what did you have in mind?

Let's just say my goal has been achieved.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2006

Metatalk is so great! Hee!
posted by thirteenkiller at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2006

Oh yeah? Well, I don't care, and I don't care that you don't care, and further, even if I did care, I'd care less than you, even though we care enough to post in this thread about how we don't care.
posted by fandango_matt at 8:22 AM on November 22, 2006

oh! the pain!
woe! I cannot tear mine eyes away from these disdainful things.
doh! the minions of my apathetic mind are not responding.
tap. fingers outsplayed and moving.
fwap. hands in pants are swimming.
snap. Who cares? I don't care. in fact, I don't care.
in fact, I don't care.
in fact, I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't care.
posted by carsonb at 8:26 AM on November 22, 2006

When you typed this post into the meta posting form, what did you have in mind?

I think what's generally happening in this thread is what he had in mind. Though I could be wrong.
posted by rocketman at 8:26 AM on November 22, 2006

Looks like I was right.
posted by rocketman at 8:26 AM on November 22, 2006

Rock and roll, then.

*trashes hotel room*
posted by cortex at 8:34 AM on November 22, 2006

Let's just say my goal has been achieved.

Close this thread please.
posted by Roger Dodger at 8:34 AM on November 22, 2006

Yep, definitely don't care.
posted by lilithim at 8:34 AM on November 22, 2006

Nobody understands anything, and his goal has been achieved. Don't you see? We've all been Meta backdoored by KG the mindtaker.

I need to remember this schtick the next time I'm feeling sheepish the infinitely powerful pulsating waves emitted from the engorged gray matter occupying my skull as I crush those who are inferior with effortless binary communication. Beep. Boop.
posted by prostyle at 8:35 AM on November 22, 2006

Friends have been urging me to write to you for the sake of humanity. But I have resisted their request, because of the feeling that any letter from me would be an imper­tinence.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:38 AM on November 22, 2006

"Let's just say my goal has been achieved."

Oooh... Meta-MeTa.

Or rather: I know you're trying to be snarky and ironic, but you forget that there actually has to be something there for us to, you know, care about.

So the thread shitting? Not a problem. This thread? Well, I really wish we had image tags.

At least you've gotten your absolutely retarded call-out out of your system and we won't be able to hear about anything else that you don't care about for the next couple days.
posted by klangklangston at 8:43 AM on November 22, 2006

I am indfferent
posted by patricio at 8:44 AM on November 22, 2006

Just wait 'till you get swallowed by a lion. THEN YOU'LL CARE!!!
posted by cog_nate at 8:45 AM on November 22, 2006

The following is an evaluation questionnaire. Please choose any of the following that apply:

[ ] This is a good post, because it's about something of great interest to me, and it gives me a chance to say what I think about it. I plan to do so now.

[ ] This is a bad post, because it's about something I do not have any interest in. I must make that clear to everyone.

[ ] This post allows for a wide range of responses, because it does not attempt to limit the discussion to a narrow focus. I will make a comment that others may or may not understand.

[ ] This post confuses me, because it does not explain its purpose in plain language. I must ask for clarification, because ambiguity is unacceptable.

[ ] Meh.

[ ] This post is good, because it gives me the opportunity to call someone a retard. There's not much that's better than that.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:50 AM on November 22, 2006

there once was a boy named pierre
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 8:51 AM on November 22, 2006

[ x ] I don't care about this stupid post or your excuse for starting it.
posted by fandango_matt at 8:52 AM on November 22, 2006

Next week, on Ennui Moneyshot...
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:53 AM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

[ ] This post is self-important wankery that crumbles under scrutiny and leads to flailing.
posted by cortex at 8:55 AM on November 22, 2006

Aren't we all?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:02 AM on November 22, 2006

[] this post makes me irrationally exuberant
posted by pyramid termite at 9:02 AM on November 22, 2006

I care more about Transformers cause they're more than meets the eye.
posted by goo at 9:02 AM on November 22, 2006

This post is the definition of irony.
posted by allkindsoftime at 9:09 AM on November 22, 2006

[ x ] I love filling out forms!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:16 AM on November 22, 2006

Kirth, you forgot:

[ ] Kenya

[ ] BBW, non-smoker

[ ] This post is pretty lame and doesn't even qualify as the weakest of NewsFilter
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:22 AM on November 22, 2006

These guys don't care.
posted by nowonmai at 9:29 AM on November 22, 2006

*cares for about 30 seconds*
resumes nail filing.
posted by madamjujujive at 9:29 AM on November 22, 2006

Is this the site of the rat's-ass giveaway?

*gets in line*
posted by jonmc at 9:30 AM on November 22, 2006

You should have held out for the flying fuck.
posted by yhbc at 9:44 AM on November 22, 2006

with or without the rolling doughnut?
posted by jonmc at 9:46 AM on November 22, 2006

WHO CARES? IS OFTEN USED AS A RHETORICAL DEVICE FUCKTARDS
posted by Mister_A at 9:48 AM on November 22, 2006

Not that I care.
posted by Mister_A at 9:48 AM on November 22, 2006

I was here when the Hoots and the Hoots In Hell were the first giveaways. But I didn't care enough to get either.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:49 AM on November 22, 2006

This is good practice for the thanksgiving conversations to come...

A: "Well, according to The Factor.... blah,blah,blah,terrorists, blah Clintonpelosi, blah,blah,blah...."

B: "Jesuschrist, who cares?"

A: "Blah,blah,blah,homosexual illegals, blah,blah,blah...
posted by R. Mutt at 9:52 AM on November 22, 2006

I'd like a damn or two shits, please.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:54 AM on November 22, 2006

The dude moves like a pregnant yak.

Hey! That's my sister you are talking about!
posted by yeti at 9:54 AM on November 22, 2006

Hi!
posted by Ceiling Cat at 10:00 AM on November 22, 2006

I just found out that Keith Gerson actually does care, but he's hiding behind a shallow facade of apathy.
posted by tkolar at 10:06 AM on November 22, 2006

He rubbed his eyes and scratched his head
And laughed because he wasn’t dead
His mother cried and held him tight
His father asked are you aright
Pierre said, “I am feeling fine
Please take me home it’s half past nine”
posted by R. Mutt at 10:10 AM on November 22, 2006

The rockin' cat is too hip to care.
posted by WoWgmr72 at 10:14 AM on November 22, 2006

[ ] I like saying "Kirth Gerson" much more than reading his callouts.
posted by klangklangston at 10:19 AM on November 22, 2006

That rockin' cat rocks.

Also: hey ceiling cat! Look what I'm doing! You purrvert!
posted by Mister_A at 10:27 AM on November 22, 2006

posted by tkolar I just found out that Keith Gerson actually does care, but he's hiding behind a shallow facade of apathy.

He wrote me a lengthy email and explained his apathy is a mixture of jaded indifference and insouciant cynicism, but he doesn't care enough to determine which.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:29 AM on November 22, 2006

These guys don't care.
posted by nowonmai at 12:29 PM EST on November 22

hmmm ... those guys are pretty good for death metal ...
posted by pyramid termite at 10:36 AM on November 22, 2006

not that i, you know, CARE ...
posted by pyramid termite at 10:37 AM on November 22, 2006

fandango_matt : Bill O'Reilly is the Daffy Duck of the airwaves.

You take that back! Daffy is cool.

Bill O'Reilly is the Donald Duck of the airwaves.
posted by quin at 10:41 AM on November 22, 2006

Crap. I was still busy not caring about Bill O'Reilly and now I have to take break from that and get busy not caring about this call out. I'm only one man, for fuck's sake. Thank goodness a lot of other people seem to have my back on the not caring about Bill O'Reilly.
posted by jonson at 10:58 AM on November 22, 2006

It's okay, jonson. You're human. You can only care so little.

*huggles*
posted by cortex at 11:00 AM on November 22, 2006

You know who else didn't care about Bill O'Reilly? That's right: Joseph Goebbels.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:11 AM on November 22, 2006

KG doesn't care what we say about how he doesn't care that other people don't care about things they comment on. And I don't care if he does or not.

I'd better sit down, I'm getting dizzy from this twisted logic.
posted by clevershark at 11:14 AM on November 22, 2006

Hi!
posted by Ceiling Cat at 10:00 AM PST on November 22

Who needs an img tag when you've got a vivid visual imagination?
posted by ottereroticist at 11:27 AM on November 22, 2006

fandango_matt, I am shocked and dismayed that you've revealed the content of a personal private email that I wish I had cared enough to write.

And tkolar, I'll have you know that my facade is anything but shallow. It's the deepest one available without a membership in the Bush Pioneers.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:53 AM on November 22, 2006

I could care less.

Or couldn't? Let's debate.
posted by yeti at 11:57 AM on November 22, 2006

Don't care didn't care
Don't care was hung
Don't care was put in the pot
And boiled 'til he was done.

I swear this is an actual nursery rhyme, but I can't find anything online to back up this assertion. Not that you care.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:01 PM on November 22, 2006

Don't care didn't care,
Don't care was wild:
Don't care stole plum and pear
Like any beggar's child.
Don't care was made to care,
Don't care was hung:
Don't care was put in a pot
And boiled till he was done.

And variants if you Google "don't care was made to care".
posted by paduasoy at 12:14 PM on November 22, 2006

[ ] I care so little that I slept through the original post at 6:37 AM PST
posted by Cranberry at 12:37 PM on November 22, 2006

Name:
John Carey

Address:
552 S. Upkeep St.
c/o Carol Jones

Position opening:
caregiver

Prior experience:
Career Counselor, Guardianship Career Center (Carter Administration - present)

References:
Carey Elwes, Drew Carey

Hobbies:
careening, caressing, reading
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 1:13 PM on November 22, 2006

from now on, a comment simply used to show one's lack of caring should be referred to as "pulling a kirth gerson".
posted by dflemingdotorg at 1:17 PM on November 22, 2006

posted by dflemingdotorg from now on, a comment simply used to show one's lack of caring should be referred to as "pulling a kirth gerson".

Ooh, I like it!

Better yet, the act of posting a comment simply used to show one's lack of caring is "Kirthing"

"Nobody has anything useful to say in that thread--they've all just Kirthed in it"
posted by fandango_matt at 1:36 PM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

I could have cared less, but only enough less that I've used it up just coming here to post, so now I couldn't care less.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:53 PM on November 22, 2006

I was here when the Hoots and the Hoots In Hell were the first giveaways. But I didn't care enough to get either.

And that, friends, is why fandango_matt continues to pollute.
posted by evilcolonel at 2:13 PM on November 22, 2006

I have it on good authority that fandango_matt totally didn't get that joke, because I just had to explain it to him.
posted by cortex at 2:22 PM on November 22, 2006

Is this caring something I would need a heart to know about?

alternatively:

AAAAAAAAAA+++ WOULD CARE AGAIN IF POSSIBLE.
posted by blue_beetle at 3:31 PM on November 22, 2006

Does anyone care that this is the 100th post to this thread?
posted by Otis at 3:41 PM on November 22, 2006

*joins the 101st mehborne*
posted by cortex at 3:43 PM on November 22, 2006

i care



not really
posted by C17H19NO3 at 6:25 PM on November 22, 2006

I don't ^ all
posted by yhbc at 6:45 PM on November 22, 2006 [1 favorite]

This "caring", it vibr- ... ah, fuggit.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:06 PM on November 22, 2006

yhbc : I don't ^ all

Oh you clever bastard. I wish I had though of that.
posted by quin at 7:08 PM on November 22, 2006

Instead of CareBears, MetaFilter has Apathy Weasels.

I am so naming my next band the Apathy Weasels.
posted by found dog one eye at 7:56 PM on November 22, 2006

Apathy Weasels ripped my flesh.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:00 PM on November 22, 2006

Correction: Apathy Weasels couldn't be bothered to rip my flesh.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:15 PM on November 22, 2006

Jimmy crack'd his corn.
posted by deborah at 9:23 PM on November 22, 2006

Jimmy crack'd his corn.

Well I, for one, care a great deal about Jimmy and his crack'd corn. If only others would care as well, we would be spared ever again having to listen to that damn song.
posted by tkolar at 9:33 PM on November 22, 2006

Metafilter: I don't care, and I don't care that you don't care, and further, even if I did care, I'd care less than you, even though we care enough to post in this thread about how we don't care.
posted by scrump at 8:14 AM on November 23, 2006

I am so naming my next band the Apathy Weasels.

Like we care.
posted by scrump at 8:14 AM on November 23, 2006

Does anybody care that the Ted Haggard thread is nine comments from reaching 1600? That the most-commented-upon thread at MetaFilter is presently 9622 at 1729 comments? That the runner-up is thread 1142 at 1619 comments? Does anybody care enough to take second place from 1142, to seize second, to Make History?
posted by cgc373 at 3:39 PM on November 23, 2006

Er, 1142 has 1614 comments. Sorry for the numerical error. But the stakes are high! Accuracy counts!
posted by cgc373 at 3:44 PM on November 23, 2006

So, an Evangelical preacher, a Catholic priest, and an Atheist are crammed together in a long boat...
posted by carsonb at 5:19 PM on November 23, 2006

...And the boat says, "I don't care which god you do or don't believe in, if you don't stop manhandling my rudder, I'm going to take us to the bottom and we'll see if there is a Heaven or not all together."
posted by quin at 7:12 PM on November 23, 2006

I don't care for your tone, sir.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:13 AM on November 24, 2006

Did I care too much?
posted by cgc373 at 9:21 AM on November 24, 2006

I love this thread.
posted by beth at 5:47 PM on November 26, 2006

So?
posted by Terminal Verbosity at 6:00 PM on November 26, 2006