Comments on: Why the rash of penis questions?

Why the rash of penis questions?

jonmc — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:15:52 -0800

By: mathowie

mathowie — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:19:06 -0800

They just showed up in that order and were approved.

I guess the explanation for why would depend on whether you believe in free will or not.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:25:54 -0800

Is that an admission that you're causing dick problems in Mefites through some sort of Firefox vulnerability?

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:26:28 -0800

Like you've never been triple dicked before. Pssshure.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:29:59 -0800

Well, usually they buy me a few drinks first, talk tirty to me, that kinda thing, ...

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:33:05 -0800

The freakiest thing: they're all the same guy.

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:46:31 -0800

This is what happens when you take away the <condom> tag.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:46:48 -0800

The guy with the sac sweat should try the great Mike Ramsey book entitled Stop Sweating and Start Living.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:47:55 -0800

I meant titled. Although it's probably entitled too. And you can get it at curesweat.com

By: matteo

matteo — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:53:33 -0800

triple decker

By: veggieboy

veggieboy — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:56:39 -0800

These are just the latest in a, dare I say, rash of penis questions lately. Matt should open up penisfilter.com and charge TEN bucks a pop.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:57:12 -0800

I worry about the guy who says his is "about half the size of a dollar bill."
That's only about .1668 cubits.

By: smackfu

smackfu — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 12:58:16 -0800

Three is easy but four takes some skill.

By: docpops

docpops — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:00:27 -0800

Man that's funny/weird. Less than a half second before I clicked on the grey I said to myself..."lots of dick on the green today. what the hell?".

By: clevershark

clevershark — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:01:04 -0800

fightthesackrash at hotmail dot com

I'm assuming this is not the same addy he puts on his resume.

By: XMLicious

XMLicious — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:12:04 -0800

At least lymphatic vessel guy can now leverage a whole bunch of guitar terms as masturbation euphemisms. "Whammy bar" doesn't even need a setup.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:18:35 -0800

I'm assuming this is not the same addy he puts on his resume

Or in his personal ad!

By: bob sarabia

bob sarabia — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:26:47 -0800

oh god. Why can't these people just see a fucking doctor and spare everyone they're disgusting problems? I swear one day we'll have someone with a severed finger asking if he should use super glue or duct tape to reattach it.

By: bob sarabia

bob sarabia — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:30:35 -0800

That was more in reference to the guitar-string-dick guy, but the other two are pretty gross too.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:33:54 -0800

↑protesteth too much, eh?

By: EndsOfInvention

EndsOfInvention — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:39:45 -0800

I swear one day we'll have someone with a severed finger asking if he should use super glue or duct tape to reattach it.

Dear AskMe,

I recently (3 minutes ago I think, might have been longer but I blacked out) had a car accident. The car's on fire but the emergency services haven't arrived yet. Should I attempt to wrench my mangled legs from the wreckage, possibly severing major arteries, or wait for the firemen to cut me out and hope the fuel tank doesn't go up before they get here? Personal anecdotes welcome.

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 13:57:40 -0800

Dear EndsOfInvention:

[heavy sigh] As any dolt would know, first and foremost, you should google up several treatises on human anatomy, the history of firefighting, and the ongoing American crisis in providing timely and effective emergency services. After you've read and annotated those thoroughly, formulate some more incisive questions and get back to us. Best of luck!

By: dmd

dmd — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:01:02 -0800

fightthesackrash at hotmail dot com

Someone try explaining to this guy that there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that hotmail logged on to his ballsac.

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:01:29 -0800

I like the way your man with the rash took the trouble to dick around with the [more inside] without leaving RSS readers hanging: Sackrashfilter- Guys help me out here: How to get rid of the dreaded sack rash? As you can guess there is An embarassing problem.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:09:06 -0800

"lots of dick on the green today. what the hell?"

Better than lots of green on the dick, amirite?

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:23:43 -0800

Personal anecdotes welcome.

Just watch, you'll get one opinion after another from hetero white guys who've never even mangled their legs in a flaming car wreck.

By: nevercalm

nevercalm — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 14:58:54 -0800

fightthesackrash at hotmail dot com

I'm assuming this is not the same addy he puts on his resume.

I worked as an admin on resume databases in HR for a few years...you'd be amazed at the email addresses people put at the top of their resumes.

or maybe not, who knows? either way, i was shocked.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 15:01:46 -0800

But where are the hordes of women pointing out that some chicks find sack rash sexy?

By: absalom

absalom — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 15:45:05 -0800

At least someone is having sex.

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 15:56:18 -0800

Someone over at the penisproblems.com forums link here.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:03:06 -0800

hotmail forwarded my sackrash to your mom.

By: melissa may

melissa may — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:04:13 -0800

I love you people more than a bucket of sack itch.

By: davy

davy — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:22:54 -0800

I'm glad to have no real problems with my masculine equipment at all. The doc says the spider veins on my scrotum are normal for an old guy, and the scars from last month's vasectomy are damn near invisible.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:36:34 -0800

Didn't anybody tell you? It's Dick Day on Metafilter. Get yer logins now, half off for circumcised men!

By: melissa may

melissa may — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:36:52 -0800

Metafilter: the spider veins on my scrotum are normal for an old guy.

sorry

By: desuetude

desuetude — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:00:40 -0800

The freakiest thing: they're all the same guy.

Great, now there's sac sweat all over the sockpuppet.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:42:21 -0800

you mean the sackpuppet.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:45:00 -0800

"The freakiest thing: they're all the same guy."

Scènes de la vie Peepée, by Honoré de Ballsac

By: clevershark

clevershark — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:16:49 -0800

I worked as an admin on resume databases in HR for a few years...you'd be amazed at the email addresses people put at the top of their resumes.

hehe... you should put those on a web site of some sort...

By: clevershark

clevershark — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:18:44 -0800

Sackpuppets (not quite what you'd probably expect).

By: ObscureReferenceMan

ObscureReferenceMan — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:49:21 -0800

I thought that too when I first saw the three questions together. But when I first saw this post, I thought you were talking about the three "dick" tags in this FPP.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 19:54:11 -0800

Sackpuppets (not quite what you'd probably expect).

Ha! In 4th grade we did a unit on mythology and I did a puppet show of Athena emerging from Zeus's head after Hepheastus chisels it open. the puppets were made from paper lunch sacks like that. Athena's sack was inside Zeus. It wowed em in Mrs. Hughes' class.

By: jefbla

jefbla — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 20:03:37 -0800

"The freakiest thing: they're all the same guy."

Not only do I think that it's the same guy, but I think that the guitar string in the weiner is related to the ingrown hair.

By: IronLizard

IronLizard — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 20:33:54 -0800

super glue or duct tape to reattach it.

It's called dermabond and several other names (cyanoacrylate), but it's only indicated for minor lacerations.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 22:02:03 -0800

maybe damaged dick day can become an annual tradition like capslock day? what fun!

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 23:49:14 -0800

"Dear MetaFilter: I've been beating my wife for years and she's finally taken her revenge. Can anyone tell me how to take apart the garbage disposal in the sink and is it worth the trouble?"

By: dmd

dmd — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 04:25:35 -0800

Following a book of folk wisdom, I put powdered mentos and diet coke on my ballsac.

Is my ballsac supposed to be making this noise?

By: war wrath of wraith

war wrath of wraith — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 07:10:27 -0800

Bitch, moan, bitch, moan, it's always the same with you mefites. Can't you just cut loose once in a while?

"Honoré de Ballsac" killed.

By: dg

dg — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:18:15 -0800

... someone with a severed finger asking if he should use super glue or duct tape to reattach it.
Duct tape, of course, duh. Why would anyone need to ask that?

By: dg

dg — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:18:53 -0800

Of course, a suitable question could be "how do I unroll this duct tape using only one hand?"

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:27:16 -0800

One hand and as many as 32 teeth, of course.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:40:08 -0800

this thread does not deliver.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:48:54 -0800

It's not delivery, it's da porno.

By: Mr. Gunn

Mr. Gunn — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:17:02 -0800

Dick trifecta now in play.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 22:26:53 -0800

And it's a classic play, at that: ^ "The Threepenis Opera (Die Dragonschtuper) was a revolutionary piece of musical theatre adapted from an 18th-century English ballad opera, The Bugger's Opera by John Gay..."
-^StikiPenia

By: bob sarabia

bob sarabia — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 23:04:07 -0800

... someone with a severed finger asking if he should use super glue or duct tape to reattach it.

The correct answer is both. Put the finger back on with superglue then duct tape around that.