/ why-does-Microsoft-give-us-cute-features-no-one-wants Filter posted by niles at 10:36 AM on December 5, 2006
Just coincidence. posted by smackfu at 10:59 AM on December 5, 2006
"This sideblog keeps track of site news and noteworthy posts" posted by Plutor at 11:09 AM on December 5, 2006
Yeah I'm not inclined to sidebar a question an an idiotic Windows "feature". Maybe I can add better tags to the questions though. posted by jessamyn at 11:18 AM on December 5, 2006
Maybe its time for an Ask.Me FAQ? There are certian questions that keep recurring and have been answered well in the past. I'm thinking of the "Whats the human equivalent of dog food/ What is the minimum diet I can survive on" question as well as this one niles mentions.
It'd be great if we could somehow build up a knowledge base. posted by vacapinta at 11:20 AM on December 5, 2006
I'm looking for books about life in a 19th Century Australian penal colony, having just finished Richard Flanagan's mesmerizing Gould's Book of Fish. Suggestions?
You should definitely check out Gould's Book of Fish by Richard Flanagan. posted by gigawhat? at 12:29 PM on December 5, 2006 [3 favorites]
Why do people do this everyday thing that really annoys me?
How long would it take me to drive from South Station in Boston to Penn Station in New York in a Renault Dauphine on a Friday afternoon in the rain, with six clowns in the back seat? What route should I take?
Eighty days. Take the Great Circle route. posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:37 PM on December 5, 2006
Our cat is ruining our furniture. Should we get her declawed or get rid of her? What's the easiest way to dispose of a cat? posted by ericb at 1:03 PM on December 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
Maybe its time for an Ask.Me FAQ? There are certian questions that keep recurring and have been answered well in the past. I'm thinking of the "Whats the human equivalent of dog food/ What is the minimum diet I can survive on" question as well as this one niles mentions.
It'd be great if we could somehow build up a knowledge base.
I'm fucked up and miserable and my life is a total train wreck.
Get some therapy, you loser. posted by ottereroticist at 1:54 PM on December 5, 2006
How do we convince people that the wiki is worth looking at?
Make one worth looking at? The one you posted is a good start, but it's not even 5% there. posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:56 PM on December 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
And also... Why does it really annoy me when people do this everyday thing?
How the hell should we know? posted by ottereroticist at 1:57 PM on December 5, 2006
I am looking for FOO. One example is BAR, can you recommend others?
Hey, you should check out BAR, it's exactly what you're looking for. posted by signal at 2:24 PM on December 5, 2006 [1 favorite]
I'm trying to find a good fitting [insert female clothing item here] but all the ones I find don't fit.
Hey it's okay, I think women in ill-fitting [female clothing item] are teh hawt! posted by jessamyn at 2:26 PM on December 5, 2006 [2 favorites]
Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
I want to know something very specific on a very obscure topic now considered arcane about which no online resources exist. I know it's a long shot, but can anyone help me?
Sure, because I happen to work in this field. Here's the info you want. Welcome to Ask Metafilter.
What should I buy for someone who has everything?
A really fucking big shed.
Can a cow achieve Enlightenment?
Mu.
Who was responsible for [insert global tragedy]?
Hotmail did it.
Can you recommend some free software for getting my dead iPod to convince my bipolar drug addict husband to see a therapist in order to identify a font?
Walk stark naked into a frat house or bachelorette party (depending on your preference), and someone will show you. However, even if you get really good at it, no one will ever love you.
Please tell me that this unbelievably stupid, self-destructive thing I want to do is a good thing to do even though I already know it's stupid and self-destructive.
Sure, go ahead; just don't come cryin' to me afterward.
What should I do to get over this unbelievably stupid and self-destructive thing I just did despite knowing better?
Immediately cut off your right hand. posted by FelliniBlank at 3:19 PM on December 5, 2006
Why am I having this female-oriented problem? Please don't tell me it's not a big deal.
You know, this chick who used to sit in the cubicle next to me had that exact same problem, and like I told her, it didn't bother me at all. posted by sugarfish at 4:08 PM on December 5, 2006 [3 favorites]
Cripes. I leave for 7 hours, and look what happens.
Jessamyn: Understood - and when I went back to look at the tags, they almost match up on each question. Two use "sound", one uses "sounds". Now if we could just get people to search before they ask....
I think my neighbors (who are a minority, and stealing my power) might be a) growing illegal drugs, or 2) running an illegal charity. I am also under house arrest, so I can't talk to them - but I know they are out to get me. What should I do? Would a web cam help? posted by niles at 4:08 PM on December 5, 2006
Can't hear you, my PC is making a wierd noise. posted by fixedgear at 4:30 PM on December 5, 2006
Why are pretty girls so lonely?
Psychos taste like candy. posted by four panels at 4:49 PM on December 5, 2006
How do you solve a problem like Maria?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? posted by yhbc at 5:53 PM on December 5, 2006 [2 favorites]
More LOLs in this thread than you can shake a stick at!
Which reminds me: What would you shake at a thread that has a lot of LOLs? Thanks HiveMind!!! (This is for a homework assignment, and for work, and for my consulting job, and just to annoy you.)
Also, Why do stars fall down from the sky, every time you walk by? posted by The Deej at 6:15 PM on December 5, 2006
What should we get Millie and Jimmy for a wedding gift?
Candlesticks always make a nice gift. Maybe you can find out where she's registered and get a place setting or two. posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:18 PM on December 5, 2006
Why do birds...[more inside]
Suddenly appear? posted by drezdn at 6:24 PM on December 5, 2006
Can I get away with scams on ebay?
Apparently. posted by drezdn at 6:26 PM on December 5, 2006
What if I can't think of a good cliche AskMe question for the jokey thread?
Hang out on AskMe more, and while you're at it, for christ's sake improve your MeTa/MeFi comment ratio, which, by the way, this comment isn't helping. In the meantime, try a meta-question and hope no one notices. posted by Kwine at 6:27 PM on December 5, 2006
Do you want to see a photo of Tony Danza in the nude?
I'm interested in bedding a young girl. I'm NOT hear to talk about the morality or legality of it, so leave that out of this. But, how do I convince her to invite her friend, too?
You wrote "hear" when you meant "here". posted by inigo2 at 6:55 PM on December 5, 2006
I spilled coffee on my keyboard what do I do?
Pour some cream in there too, and a packet of sugar posted by edgeways at 7:09 PM on December 5, 2006
If you're driving down the river in a canoe and your left wing falls off, how many flapjacks does it take a build a doghouse?
Thirty-seven. But that's only because grass doesn't grow on footballs. posted by educatedslacker at 7:29 PM on December 5, 2006
I've heard that in China they eat felines - I'm curious. What do they taste like?
Actually, it's dog. And it makes your stomach growl. posted by niles at 7:31 PM on December 5, 2006
When americans say 'cream' in their coffee, do they actually mean milk?
No, honest, I'm curious....I keep visualising a cup of coffee with a blob of cream on top and going 'ewwwww'. posted by jacalata at 7:37 PM on December 5, 2006
#jacalata: When Americans refer to "cream" in their coffee, they are usually referring to "half-and-half": a mixture of light cream and milk. posted by trip and a half at 9:07 PM on December 5, 2006
I've got a great idea for a MetaFilter feature. Will you implement it?
No. [closed] posted by bingo at 9:07 PM on December 5, 2006
I keep visualising a cup of coffee with a blob of cream on top and going 'ewwwww'.
Cream doesn't come in blobs. We're not talking about whipped cream here, we're talking cream. It's thicker than milk, but it's still liquid. posted by bingo at 9:09 PM on December 5, 2006
When americans say 'cream' in their coffee, do they actually mean milk?
We mean something anywhere in between heavy whipping cream, half and half, and milk. All of these are basically liquids (heavy cream is like 40% milkfat) and not blobs (so I'm not actually sure what you have in mind for "cream", Crème Fraîche or something?) posted by advil at 9:13 PM on December 5, 2006
Could one of these get disbarred? Like, maybe in some sort of cage match? posted by Eideteker at 9:26 PM on December 5, 2006
Where should I go? What should I do when I get there?
Go to Amsterdam. Take mushrooms. posted by Meatbomb at 9:28 PM on December 5, 2006
I'm going to be in XYZ for 20 minutes, what should I do?
Go to the airport shop and buy a nice book. posted by Lynsey at 9:54 PM on December 5, 2006
I'm going to move to XYZ for a 2-year job, but I don't know anything about it. Where should I live, what should I wear, what should I eat? Will I be pretty, will I be rich?
(I told her tenderly) Que sera, sera; whatever will be, will be; the future's not ours to see, que sera, sera. posted by Lynsey at 9:57 PM on December 5, 2006 [2 favorites]
Coming in 2007 from IRFH Industries... itisdecidelysew.com, your one-stop blog-shop for sewing tips, dos and don'ts, and pirated patterns. It's a...
Oh, dammit, I'm supposed to be parodying Ask in this thread, not Projects. posted by Eideteker at 10:49 PM on December 5, 2006
Hypothetically, how long would it take to fill the Chunnel if the ceiling was breached?
Well, assuming there are zombies in the Chunnel, you would first figure out its volume - taking into account the various vehicles (And number of zombies, natch!) in the space, which would affect displacement.
Then, using a couple of hydrodynamics formulas I whipped up 'specially for this AskMe and the diameter of the breach, it'd be a simple matter of calculating the time it would take to have those zombies floating all around.
Buuuuut... if there aren't any zombies in the Chunnel, I'm sorry, but I can't help you and this AskMe will be deleted. posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:19 PM on December 5, 2006
I have been at a frou-frou restaurant (yes, in America) where I was served very tasty coffee with large-grain sugar (I'm not sure what type specifically) and some whipped light cream, which dissolved instantly in the coffee.
I am sure it was horrible for my health, but it was really really good. That is cream in coffee. Half & half is okay. But, really, compared to Europe, America does horrible things to coffee. It is true. But no one really knows what they're missing. posted by blacklite at 2:32 AM on December 6, 2006
I am in a maze of twisty corridors, all alike. Which way should I go?
Have you considered Cancun? It's very nice at this time of year. posted by handee at 2:59 AM on December 6, 2006
I have some kind of problem with something and I need your help! However, I'm not going to mention anything about what it is on the front page. No! I won't! Not even a teeny clue! There's much
How do I get a present for my dancing santa .gif? posted by champthom at 3:11 AM on December 6, 2006
Leave him some cookies. From amazon.com. He won't get you any presents unless you leave him cookies. Maybe get him a present, too. posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:36 AM on December 6, 2006
My friend's therapist called him names and locked him out of her office. Can he sue?
Your therapist is probably terrified of your disgusting lumpy skin condition, that's why. posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:40 AM on December 6, 2006
Is it apprpriate to FAPFAPFAP in a MeTa party thread?
Yes. That's what everyone else is doing. posted by moonbird at 3:41 AM on December 6, 2006
What makes the Hottentot so hot, what puts the "ape" in apricot, what have they got that I ain't got?
IANAD, but I suspect the answer is "a disgusting lumpy skin condition." posted by maryh at 4:43 AM on December 6, 2006
Does your PC do the dog? posted by flabdablet at 4:54 AM on December 6, 2006
No, but it does the mashed potato.
Is it wrong to watch porn in my open plan office at the monastery while declawing cats? posted by patricio at 5:05 AM on December 6, 2006
No, the other monks will most likely be inwardly thanking you. But you might want to wear a wrist brace while shucking claws; any precaution against carpal tunnel syndrome is worth the time and money spent.
Related: I leave a bin of claw shuckings next to my recycling every Thursday, and I suspect my obviously-Hispanic, WiFi-stealing neighbors are rummaging through my trash to harvest calcium, or perhaps something ....else. Is it possible that they find [more inside] posted by maryh at 5:40 AM on December 6, 2006
What's the best way to get people to notice my awesome username? Are they not noticing because I'm too awesome? posted by Tasty Like Your 9V Battery at 6:12 AM on December 6, 2006 [2 favorites]
Self link a few times, everyone will know who you are then. posted by IronLizard at 6:18 AM on December 6, 2006
I leave a bin of claw shuckings next to my recycling every Thursday, and I suspect my obviously-Hispanic, WiFi-stealing neighbors are rummaging through my trash to harvest calcium, or perhaps something ....else. Is it possible that they find
Report them to ICE. When this doesn't work, start building your own rickety fence on the border to get attention. posted by IronLizard at 6:19 AM on December 6, 2006
A MetaTalk thread is making me laugh so hard my lungs are hurting. What do I do?
See a lawyer.
Are they not noticing because I'm too awesome?
posted by Tasty Like Your 9V Battery
They're too awestruck to move their hands on the keyboard. posted by languagehat at 6:20 AM on December 6, 2006
I recently decided to use my trust fund to become a gutter punk. How do I go about integrating with other like-minded sociopaths? [more inside]
I already have a tattered, safety pin adorned jacket I soaked in mule shit, and my shirt and cutoffs I got off of ebay from a recently exhumed MIA vet of the Korean War. Where do I go from here?
I have no actual question but I love making that joke where I send you running to look at [more inside] posted by GuyZero at 6:39 AM on December 6, 2006
I'm too embarrassed to mention this to my doctor, but lately I've been having intolerable self-destructive thoughts which have finally convinced me to blow myself up exactly 19 minutes from now, unless the HiveMind can talk me out of it. posted by anonymous at 11:01 EST
anonymous, I've never blown myself up, but it sounds doubleplus ungood. Please don't. Someone has to write the Great American Novel of the 21st Century, and you may be having the unique artistic suffering necessary to that end. Besides, you aren't playing fair to give us a short deadline, and no throwaway Hotmail address to which we can submit pointless queries for additional information that will help us call 911 in your area, and be taken seriously.
So, we're going to have to MeTa this thread, and you know how that is going to go... posted by paulsc at 6:42 AM on December 6, 2006
I've been keeping our Elkhound in a tenor saxophone case, for space purposes. My sister-in-law insists he needs more room; she favors the Brookstone Dog Silo, but I feel that it's too vertical our pet's needs. So Hive-Mind: What is the best way to dispose of a human body? Quick-lime, or lackadaisical-lime? Appropriate song lyrics R a big +!! posted by maryh at 6:49 AM on December 6, 2006 [1 favorite]
Sometimes when I'm driving down the freeway, I see semi-translucent signs that tell me to stop, climb on top of a deer carcass recently splattered by a passing semi, furiously rape it, get back in my car, and stop at Denny's. After which I drive up mountain passes and drive my car into snow and get stuck on purpose so I will be rescued just like that fabulously half-Asian family on the news I keep hearing about. But nobody comes for me, so I get back in my car (ha ha it was a Subaru!) and I drive back to Civilization and go back to Denny's and complain to the waitstaff that I'm not loved enough while stuffing my face with waffles. My waffles, however, taste like fish and I am forced to disembowel the fat moron eating steak next to me, who not only happens to be on oxygen due to his emphysema, but is currently smoking as well. I then cut up his intestines into delicious little pieces and put them in a backpack, but forget to take it with me as I stumble out the front door. Soon I am home, sleeping, ready to go out for another beautiful day tomorrow!
God, I hate that f@cking ski resort. posted by maryh at 7:02 AM on December 6, 2006
MetaFilter is being attacked by 5-year-olds who will stop at nothing to take it down. How many MeFites are necessary to take on the little fuckers before the servers are overcome? posted by ericb at 7:25 AM on December 6, 2006
Two, but we have shotguns. posted by Science! at 8:32 AM on December 6, 2006
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man? Not interested in hearing anything about blowing or wind. posted by wheelieman at 8:50 AM on December 6, 2006
How do I pay off my piles of credit card debt [more inside] without doing any more work than I'm already doing, spending any less than I'm already spending, or doing anything illegal?
Fake your own death.
(on preview, whoops! I missed the more inside!) posted by muddgirl at 9:21 AM on December 6, 2006
I'm curious about this sentence in a language that I don't speak -- could someone else who doesn't speak it feed it into Google Language Tools and speculate about what the results might mean?
Please help me identify a book from my childhood that totally, like, changed my life. I don't remember how it started or ended, or frankly what went on in the middle, but I remember there was an illustration on the cover.
When americans say 'cream' in their coffee, do they actually mean milk?
Here is an old comment from an open thread on Making Light, in which American dairy products are explained. posted by moss at 11:31 AM on December 6, 2006
joseph_elmhurst - I may have to deal with it, but i don't have to love it. posted by Cranberry at 12:51 PM on December 6, 2006
Why am I having this female-oriented problem? Please don't tell me it's not a big deal.
O.K. You're going to die. posted by IronLizard at 1:02 PM on December 6, 2006
A few men have made my life difficult over the years, so I'm going to ask a question implying that all men everywhere are insensitive clods who are to be managed like cattle rather than talked to as individuals. When my assumptions are challenged in the ensuing thread, should I post sulky comments directly in the thread, or should I doa MeTa callout for that?
I'm not female and have no direct experience at all with the topic that you're asking about, but I am possessed of a fine Y chromosone that gives me the ability to answer any question about anything. posted by tkolar at 1:53 PM on December 6, 2006
I did some stupid-ass thing at work. Did I just ruin my career?
You call that a career? posted by box at 2:02 PM on December 6, 2006
This is something I want to post to askme but I'm pretty sure it will get deleted:
What is it with all the white male conservative strip cartoonists who use female black/hispanic avatars? I'm thinking of Prickly City and Day By Day, but I notice that even in Mallard Fillmore, the duck's only office friend appears to be an african american woman. What the hell? posted by maryh at 3:18 PM on December 6, 2006
Maryh,wow, nice tits ya got there doll. posted by Meatbomb at 3:54 PM on December 6, 2006
Little early in the afternoon to be slappin' on the beer goggles, innit meaty? posted by maryh at 4:26 PM on December 6, 2006
How do I convince my boyfriend to get a job while he waits for his big break in the videogame industry?
Dump the deadbeat, as he will never get a job. Also, here are links to photos of his ridiculous car, and to an auction where he is selling your jewelry. posted by bevedog at 6:17 PM on December 6, 2006
maryh, sorry if it wasn't clear, I was trying to give a spoof answer to your question, from the POV of a white male conservative. I actually have the deepest and most sincere respect for you, regardless of your physical endowments. :) posted by Meatbomb at 6:27 PM on December 6, 2006
Some of my best friends are dolls, honest. posted by Meatbomb at 6:28 PM on December 6, 2006
I made a sexist comment to a woman and I'm not sure she understands I was joking, what should I do?
Crazy delicious fun. posted by Meatbomb at 11:42 PM on December 6, 2006
Crazy delicious fun for. posted by team lowkey at 12:12 AM on December 7, 2006
Crazy delicious fun for the. posted by cgc373 at 12:46 AM on December 7, 2006
Crazy delicious fun for the whole family? posted by patricio at 1:38 AM on December 7, 2006
Crazy delicious fun for the whole family of otters that I just made sweet, sweet love to in the basement. posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 1:46 AM on December 7, 2006
Crazy delicious fun for the whole family of otters that I just made sweet, sweet love to in the basement where the walls are really wet since we had that heavy rain. Will I soon need a snorkel to do it again? posted by flabdablet at 3:07 AM on December 7, 2006
falbdablet: I am a doctor but not YOUR doctor. posted by muddgirl at 7:42 AM on December 7, 2006
Annnnnd, scene! posted by Kwine at 8:16 AM on December 7, 2006
I went to see the doctor about my disgusting lumpy (and now oozing) skin condition, but he wouldn't unlock his office door. He slipped a prescription out under the door, but it seems kind of odd. Does "Take two TVs and call me in the morning" sound like an effective treatment for my skin condition, or should I sue? posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:57 AM on December 7, 2006
I'd like to jump off of a bridge, with no safety equipment. How can I do this safely? Remember, absolutely no safety equipment!
Use safety equipment, idiot. posted by Zed_Lopez at 9:58 AM on December 7, 2006
I'd like to experience being waterboarded. How can I do that?
I can help you out, but my rate is $275 an hour. Your safeword is "civil rights." posted by ottereroticist at 11:43 AM on December 7, 2006
It seems people have a lot of vitriol for my comments. Since I missed those posts,should I take this opportunity to respond?
Um, no. Unless we get a compelling flameout. posted by ericb at 3:52 PM on December 7, 2006
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posted by niles at 10:36 AM on December 5, 2006