Fake AskMe question? December 18, 2006 1:45 PM Subscribe
AskMe questions that read like a letter to Ann Landers c. 1962 are probably fake.
No. He calls it "Margaret" and it can smell ricin.
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:49 PM on December 18, 2006 [5 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:49 PM on December 18, 2006 [5 favorites]
I don't think it's fake.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:53 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:53 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
Upon reading it earlier, I was pretty impressed with AskMe .... that nobody went ballistic about the limp-wrist/stuffed-animals thing and stayed on focus.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:55 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:55 PM on December 18, 2006
that nobody went ballistic about the limp-wrist/stuffed-animals thing and stayed on focus.
Well that's it, isn't it? I hope that our resident game wardens won't say someone wasn't fishing just because nothing went for the bait.
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:59 PM on December 18, 2006
Well that's it, isn't it? I hope that our resident game wardens won't say someone wasn't fishing just because nothing went for the bait.
posted by Mayor Curley at 1:59 PM on December 18, 2006
I gave the bait a little nibble, but hopefully in a constructive way.
posted by matty at 2:00 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by matty at 2:00 PM on December 18, 2006
The real question is: Does he own the "Lost Boys" and "Lord of the Rings" DVDs?
posted by timeistight at 2:00 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by timeistight at 2:00 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
Mister_A: "LOTR isn't that gay..."
No, but the "I <3 Legolas" poster kinda is....
posted by JMOZ at 2:04 PM on December 18, 2006
No, but the "I <3 Legolas" poster kinda is....
posted by JMOZ at 2:04 PM on December 18, 2006
I dunno, the whole limp-wrist/stuffed animals didn't strike me as trolling; just one of the behaviors that was worrying justamom. Her main question was, do these listed behaviors mean my son will be gay? And the general consensus is, no, not necessarily; meanwhile, continue to love and support your son. I think the answers given are far more constructive than someone slamming her would be.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:05 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:05 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
Well that's it, isn't it? I hope that our resident game wardens won't say someone wasn't fishing just because nothing went for the bait.
In isolation, the question sounds like it could be bait, but I think this somewhat tips the scales the other way.
And "probably fake" would be a pretty poor deletion reason.
posted by juv3nal at 2:08 PM on December 18, 2006
In isolation, the question sounds like it could be bait, but I think this somewhat tips the scales the other way.
And "probably fake" would be a pretty poor deletion reason.
posted by juv3nal at 2:08 PM on December 18, 2006
Oh, if you wanted to fake a question I think you could have much more fun than that one.
"I just got married but I am concerned by my mortician husband's love making habits. He insists that I lie in a bath of cold water for ten minutes prior to making love and during the act I am not allowed to speak or move. Is this something I should be concerned about?" (I think someone actually wrote to Ann with such a question.)
posted by caddis at 2:16 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
"I just got married but I am concerned by my mortician husband's love making habits. He insists that I lie in a bath of cold water for ten minutes prior to making love and during the act I am not allowed to speak or move. Is this something I should be concerned about?" (I think someone actually wrote to Ann with such a question.)
posted by caddis at 2:16 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
What's the problem? How are the comments trolling and/or 1962 Ann Landers fake?
Look, the question is "I think my son might be gay, what should I do?"
If that is all the question says, there will immediately be the question of "Why do you think that?"
The poster included in the question the reasons for thinking that: the poster sees effeminate characteristics in her son that she associates with homosexuality. Therefore her statement of her reasons for thinking that were made plain without any substantive judgment passed on the actions.
I suppose your objection has to do with the fact the poster associates those things with being gay. Again, I question why that is problematic. Whether you like it or not, there tends to be a cliched view that effeminate actions in men are an indication of homosexuality. The poster doesn't say that all gay men are effeminate. Nor does the poster say there are no straight men who are effeminate. All the poster says is that she sees characteristics in her son which suggest to her that he son might be gay. And I highly doubt that you take the position that effeminate behavior cannot in any way be an indication of homosexuality.
In short, the poster had to explain why she thinks that. Short of saying, "I think my son might be gay because I caught him having sex with a man (or masturbating to gay porn, etc)" the poster had to give some indication of why she is making that assumption. So she did.
posted by dios at 2:18 PM on December 18, 2006
Look, the question is "I think my son might be gay, what should I do?"
If that is all the question says, there will immediately be the question of "Why do you think that?"
The poster included in the question the reasons for thinking that: the poster sees effeminate characteristics in her son that she associates with homosexuality. Therefore her statement of her reasons for thinking that were made plain without any substantive judgment passed on the actions.
I suppose your objection has to do with the fact the poster associates those things with being gay. Again, I question why that is problematic. Whether you like it or not, there tends to be a cliched view that effeminate actions in men are an indication of homosexuality. The poster doesn't say that all gay men are effeminate. Nor does the poster say there are no straight men who are effeminate. All the poster says is that she sees characteristics in her son which suggest to her that he son might be gay. And I highly doubt that you take the position that effeminate behavior cannot in any way be an indication of homosexuality.
In short, the poster had to explain why she thinks that. Short of saying, "I think my son might be gay because I caught him having sex with a man (or masturbating to gay porn, etc)" the poster had to give some indication of why she is making that assumption. So she did.
posted by dios at 2:18 PM on December 18, 2006
Umm considering how many people in the US are still wrestling through 1962-esque concepts of sexuality, I'd say you're gambling with your front teeth.
posted by hermitosis at 2:23 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by hermitosis at 2:23 PM on December 18, 2006
AskMe is just a life support system for MetaTalk anymore.
posted by Mister_A at 2:25 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 2:25 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
I don't think this is a fake question.
But I do wonder if maybe we should make "I'm-afraid-that-X-is-gay"-filter a reason for deletion.
posted by koeselitz at 2:25 PM on December 18, 2006
But I do wonder if maybe we should make "I'm-afraid-that-X-is-gay"-filter a reason for deletion.
posted by koeselitz at 2:25 PM on December 18, 2006
I'm going to have to step in and defend this question; I'm sure that my mother posted this inquiry, almost verbatim, to AOL message boards not ten years ago. Mothers think like this. It might be fake, yes, but it sounds plausible enough to be legitimate. And given the legitimately spectacular advice being thrown out there (hermitosis in particular deserving a medal of honor for his contribution), I say it's worth leaving. Let's not deny resources to parents of potentially gay children.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 2:38 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 2:38 PM on December 18, 2006
The poster included in the question the reasons for thinking that: the poster sees effeminate characteristics in her son that she associates with homosexuality... I suppose your objection has to do with the fact the poster associates those things with being gay.
No, I think the situation as described sounds remarkably gay. Extraordinarily gay. Too gay. "Drinks with his pinky extended"? I just don't think people act in the described manner outside of early "Are You Being Served" reruns.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:59 PM on December 18, 2006
No, I think the situation as described sounds remarkably gay. Extraordinarily gay. Too gay. "Drinks with his pinky extended"? I just don't think people act in the described manner outside of early "Are You Being Served" reruns.
posted by Mayor Curley at 2:59 PM on December 18, 2006
Set off alarm bells like crazy. Sooooo Fake.
posted by mattbucher at 3:02 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by mattbucher at 3:02 PM on December 18, 2006
I sometimes catch myself drinking with my pinky extended. Especially if it's a drink in a mug. And I'm not even gay! Imagine that.
A lot of things happen in this world that you probably can't believe, Mayor. You should just let them go.
posted by Roger Dodger at 3:08 PM on December 18, 2006
A lot of things happen in this world that you probably can't believe, Mayor. You should just let them go.
posted by Roger Dodger at 3:08 PM on December 18, 2006
I have a question about my son going down on his fellow schoolboys. Should I make a new post, or just tack it onto this one?
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:16 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:16 PM on December 18, 2006
Sometimes I wonder if MeTa posts are faked outrage.
(Still, I thought the question was a laugh riot).
posted by klangklangston at 3:17 PM on December 18, 2006
(Still, I thought the question was a laugh riot).
posted by klangklangston at 3:17 PM on December 18, 2006
... parents of potentially gay children
Is that really what you meant to say?
posted by dg at 3:24 PM on December 18, 2006
Is that really what you meant to say?
posted by dg at 3:24 PM on December 18, 2006
I guess not everyone spends as much time in MetaTalk as I. My comment was a reference to this and this, not serious reference to the presence or absence of a homosexual subtext in the Lord of the Rings. If there is any such subtext in the movie, I must have slept through it.
And I don't even know what "The Lost Boys" is.
posted by timeistight at 3:26 PM on December 18, 2006
And I don't even know what "The Lost Boys" is.
posted by timeistight at 3:26 PM on December 18, 2006
Methinks the lady doth protest too much, timeistight.
posted by gigawhat? at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by gigawhat? at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2006
My gaydar works just fine and this did not ping it.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
Yes, dg, I did. Children can be potentially gay. In fact, until they let you know one way or the other, they're kind of all potentially gay.
Some Republican is going to read that and take it the way wrong way. I sound like the spokesperson for one of those imaginary recruiting efforts. "America's children are gay until proven straight!"
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2006
Some Republican is going to read that and take it the way wrong way. I sound like the spokesperson for one of those imaginary recruiting efforts. "America's children are gay until proven straight!"
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 3:35 PM on December 18, 2006
Nah, this one is real. I think the one about "I have a multi-million dollar trust fund but live like a recluse please help me" was total bullshit but everybody was all like "I'm gonna post a twleve paragraph opus in response" so I guess they thought it was real. Go figure.
posted by fixedgear at 3:46 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by fixedgear at 3:46 PM on December 18, 2006
Her followup response is also clearly outrageous.
I dont think anyone born before 1960 should be allowed to post on ask metafilter.
posted by vacapinta at 3:47 PM on December 18, 2006
I dont think anyone born before 1960 should be allowed to post on ask metafilter.
posted by vacapinta at 3:47 PM on December 18, 2006
Yes, dg, I did. Children can be potentially gay.
Fair enough. It's not an area that I am any kind of expert on, but I always thought that people were either gay or not - some just haven't realised it yet. I guess children are potentially gay in the sense that, until they experience their "sexual awakening", they are neither gay nor straight, therefore potentially gay.
posted by dg at 3:47 PM on December 18, 2006
Fair enough. It's not an area that I am any kind of expert on, but I always thought that people were either gay or not - some just haven't realised it yet. I guess children are potentially gay in the sense that, until they experience their "sexual awakening", they are neither gay nor straight, therefore potentially gay.
posted by dg at 3:47 PM on December 18, 2006
I dont think anyone born before 1960 should be allowed to post on ask metafilter.
I feel the same about anyone born after 1980.
posted by cribcage at 3:52 PM on December 18, 2006
I feel the same about anyone born after 1980.
posted by cribcage at 3:52 PM on December 18, 2006
If you think LotR was gay, just wait until you see the film treatment of The Hobbit. You really think they will be true to "Riddles in the Dark" as it was written in the book? Now the reason Gollum leaves the Misty Mountains in search of Bilbo is because the stinking Hobbit used him and threw him out like trash. The ring is just the icing on the multi layered cake of Smeagol's broken heart.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 3:52 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 3:52 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
If MetaFilter has taught me a single damned thing, it's that there are lots of different people in this world and many of them know when I'm out having dinner and fill MetaTalk up with strangeness.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:53 PM on December 18, 2006 [3 favorites]
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:53 PM on December 18, 2006 [3 favorites]
Help, I can't stop talking! wrote, "In fact, until they let you know one way or the other, they're kind of all potentially gay."
Otherwise known as "Schrodinger's homosexual". If you never ask, your son will be caught in a gay/not gay state. It is only by observing his gayness that his sexuality will collapse into a probability wave to allow him to become fully gay/ straight.
posted by boo_radley at 4:19 PM on December 18, 2006 [5 favorites]
Otherwise known as "Schrodinger's homosexual". If you never ask, your son will be caught in a gay/not gay state. It is only by observing his gayness that his sexuality will collapse into a probability wave to allow him to become fully gay/ straight.
posted by boo_radley at 4:19 PM on December 18, 2006 [5 favorites]
The ring is just the icing on the multi layered cake of Smeagol's broken heart.
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
posted by juv3nal at 4:25 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
posted by juv3nal at 4:25 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
No, I think the situation as described sounds remarkably gay. Extraordinarily gay. Too gay. "Drinks with his pinky extended"? I just don't think people act in the described manner outside of early "Are You Being Served" reruns.
Sounds over the top, but that's how a clueless gay 12 year old raised by a slightly old-fashioned mother might behave if he was trying to give her a few hints. At that age I was wearing a green carnation in the buttonhole of my school blazer and mincing about like a tart.
posted by jack_mo at 4:29 PM on December 18, 2006
Sounds over the top, but that's how a clueless gay 12 year old raised by a slightly old-fashioned mother might behave if he was trying to give her a few hints. At that age I was wearing a green carnation in the buttonhole of my school blazer and mincing about like a tart.
posted by jack_mo at 4:29 PM on December 18, 2006
darn it, the neologism "eigensexuality" came to me too late to add it to the above. I think it's a good word, though.
posted by boo_radley at 4:57 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by boo_radley at 4:57 PM on December 18, 2006
film treatment of The Hobbit
Isn't there a chapter titled "Queer Lodgings?" I still don't know why the first LOTR movie left out the part where Boromir asked everyone to "carry a faggot" when they went into the mountains.
Anyway. this question seemed perfectly real to me. It may seem strange, but maybe, just maybe, people who don't have the EXACT same set of life experiences as you, don't come from exactly the same area geographically or culturally as you, and aren't the same exact age as you, still deserve to have their well-intentioned and sincere questions answered?
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:07 PM on December 18, 2006
Isn't there a chapter titled "Queer Lodgings?" I still don't know why the first LOTR movie left out the part where Boromir asked everyone to "carry a faggot" when they went into the mountains.
Anyway. this question seemed perfectly real to me. It may seem strange, but maybe, just maybe, people who don't have the EXACT same set of life experiences as you, don't come from exactly the same area geographically or culturally as you, and aren't the same exact age as you, still deserve to have their well-intentioned and sincere questions answered?
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:07 PM on December 18, 2006
I dont think anyone born before 1960 should be allowed to post on ask metafilter.
What cribcage said. Also, don't be a jerk.
Also also, this is a remarkably silly callout. Has the Mayor actually met a mother in real life? Or was he born from the forehead of the Goddess of Snark?
posted by languagehat at 5:14 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
What cribcage said. Also, don't be a jerk.
Also also, this is a remarkably silly callout. Has the Mayor actually met a mother in real life? Or was he born from the forehead of the Goddess of Snark?
posted by languagehat at 5:14 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
Help. Am I crazy? My 12-year-old son has always been different--he keeps Forbes magazine in his bedroom, doesn't smoke dope, and keeps a double-entry account book of his allowance and expenditures. He watches televangelists on TV and, while he hasn't sent them any money, he takes notes.
He's never taken any interest in the environment and recycles only under duress. I recently saw that he checked out the book, Treason by Ann Coulter.
I want him to fulfill his destiny--he's a bright boy!--but does this mean that he's going to grow up to be a right-wing, Republican page-doinker?
I love my son and want to support him, but my question is this--should I drown him now or would the wood-chipper route be best?
Any help/advice you can give would be appreciated...
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:35 PM on December 18, 2006
He's never taken any interest in the environment and recycles only under duress. I recently saw that he checked out the book, Treason by Ann Coulter.
I want him to fulfill his destiny--he's a bright boy!--but does this mean that he's going to grow up to be a right-wing, Republican page-doinker?
I love my son and want to support him, but my question is this--should I drown him now or would the wood-chipper route be best?
Any help/advice you can give would be appreciated...
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:35 PM on December 18, 2006
Why do you say that, jayder? I really don't understand why anyone would think the Q is fake.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:53 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:53 PM on December 18, 2006 [1 favorite]
jayder, thank you. I will always love my son no matter what, but I want to learn how to best keep society safe from him. Thanks for seeing that. It will be a difficult task, wood chippers are that way, if he is indeed a potential right-wing page doinker. His father and I are not together anymore, but we both get along well and share the responsibilities of raising him. and rest assured his father is not so liberal that he would reject the wood chipping. I want to be safe and secure and I want his friends to be able to grow up without the hypocritical proselytizing.
posted by leftcoastbob at 6:07 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by leftcoastbob at 6:07 PM on December 18, 2006
I thought it was fake too. The "pinky" thing set off many red flags.
*runs from cribcage*
posted by divabat at 6:07 PM on December 18, 2006
*runs from cribcage*
posted by divabat at 6:07 PM on December 18, 2006
Has the Mayor actually met a mother in real life? Or was he born from the forehead of the Goddess of Snark?
I was made out of foam. Contraceptive foam.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:16 PM on December 18, 2006
I was made out of foam. Contraceptive foam.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:16 PM on December 18, 2006
...does this mean that he's going to grow up to be a right-wing, Republican page-doinker?
Yes.
posted by ericb at 6:23 PM on December 18, 2006
Yes.
posted by ericb at 6:23 PM on December 18, 2006
I think Mayor Curley is fake. His anti-social grump routine is just a little bit too anti-social and grumpy, if you catch my drift.
I think he is the fakiest of faky fakers, and he only posted this callout to distract people from his fakitude.
posted by ottereroticist at 6:28 PM on December 18, 2006
I think he is the fakiest of faky fakers, and he only posted this callout to distract people from his fakitude.
posted by ottereroticist at 6:28 PM on December 18, 2006
I vote fake. It's a brand new account and "her" first post.
Smells like sock puppet.
posted by konolia at 6:34 PM on December 18, 2006
Smells like sock puppet.
posted by konolia at 6:34 PM on December 18, 2006
I'd be careful what you say, she does control the universe after all.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:35 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by Pollomacho at 6:35 PM on December 18, 2006
At that age I was wearing a green carnation in the buttonhole of my school blazer and mincing about like a tart.
Oh, jack_mo, that's sublime. I'd offer to have your babies but I can't find my turkey baster.
My troll-dar works just fine and justamom's question didn't ping it.
The Mayor has already acknowledged that he has no familiarity with mothers and their fretful, neurotic concerns. I suspect he also has no experience with children, who are truly freakish beings from the git-go and only become more bizarre as they approach and progress through puberty. All those opaque thoughts and strange behaviors -- it's almost like they have some ludicrous idea that they're independent and autonomous creatures, trying out various ways of being in the world.
*pffft!* The Mayor knows better, and we must listen to him, because he's foam-worthy. Well, his daddy was, whoever that may have been.
posted by vetiver at 7:34 PM on December 18, 2006
Oh, jack_mo, that's sublime. I'd offer to have your babies but I can't find my turkey baster.
My troll-dar works just fine and justamom's question didn't ping it.
The Mayor has already acknowledged that he has no familiarity with mothers and their fretful, neurotic concerns. I suspect he also has no experience with children, who are truly freakish beings from the git-go and only become more bizarre as they approach and progress through puberty. All those opaque thoughts and strange behaviors -- it's almost like they have some ludicrous idea that they're independent and autonomous creatures, trying out various ways of being in the world.
*pffft!* The Mayor knows better, and we must listen to him, because he's foam-worthy. Well, his daddy was, whoever that may have been.
posted by vetiver at 7:34 PM on December 18, 2006
When I first read it, I thought it was fake. Than, on the off chance that it was real, I answered it. Then I read it again and thought, hmmm, this is fake. Then later, after reading all the good answers, I thought, well, it's probably real. I kind of hope it's fake, actually, because there's an undercurrent of "oh noes!!1! homoshexuls! they act weird!" that I don't much like. But, on the other hand, that in itself is weird enough where it might just be real. Also, it's not over the top enough to be fake: there's not even a blind lesbian sister.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:45 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:45 PM on December 18, 2006
I think we need anotherl "What Not To Post to AskMe" thread on MetaChat just to tap into some of the talent I see here.
posted by orange swan at 9:18 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by orange swan at 9:18 PM on December 18, 2006
I remember seeing a woman on 60 Minutes who thought her son was gay because he behaved in an effeminate manner and played with dolls at the age of 3. She enrolled him in karate classes, which she believed "cured" him, as he grew up to be heterosexual.
So, while I can't say for sure whether or not the post is fake, clearly there are people out there who think along the same lines that the poster claims to.
posted by concrete at 10:36 PM on December 18, 2006
So, while I can't say for sure whether or not the post is fake, clearly there are people out there who think along the same lines that the poster claims to.
posted by concrete at 10:36 PM on December 18, 2006
You know what cures the gay? Rum, sodomy and the lash!
posted by loquacious at 11:17 PM on December 18, 2006
posted by loquacious at 11:17 PM on December 18, 2006
Rum, sodomy and the lash!
with apologies to the Pogues
If I should fall from grace with Jess
Where no poster can relieve me
If I'm banned for my excess
And mathowie won't repreive me
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me digg down in the mud
Where the Farkers all say hi
This site was always ours
Was the proud site of our fathers
It belongs to us and them
Not to any of the others
Let them go, boys
Let them go, boys
Let them go to Metachat
Where the bunnies are quite nice
Bury me in blogs
Where no journo's words can sway me
If I comment in the threads
Web 2.0 AJAX will save me
Coldfusion's crashing again, boys
Keeps crashing again, boys
Let them choose some favorites
Let them bitch in Metatalk
If I should fall from grace with Jess
Where no poster can relieve me
If I'm banned for my excess
And mathowie won't repreive me
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me digg down in the mud
Where the Farkers all say hi
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:22 AM on December 19, 2006 [13 favorites]
with apologies to the Pogues
If I should fall from grace with Jess
Where no poster can relieve me
If I'm banned for my excess
And mathowie won't repreive me
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me digg down in the mud
Where the Farkers all say hi
This site was always ours
Was the proud site of our fathers
It belongs to us and them
Not to any of the others
Let them go, boys
Let them go, boys
Let them go to Metachat
Where the bunnies are quite nice
Bury me in blogs
Where no journo's words can sway me
If I comment in the threads
Web 2.0 AJAX will save me
Coldfusion's crashing again, boys
Keeps crashing again, boys
Let them choose some favorites
Let them bitch in Metatalk
If I should fall from grace with Jess
Where no poster can relieve me
If I'm banned for my excess
And mathowie won't repreive me
Let me go, boys
Let me go, boys
Let me digg down in the mud
Where the Farkers all say hi
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:22 AM on December 19, 2006 [13 favorites]
I, for one, welcome Chief Justice and Mrs. Roberts to the hallowed halls of AskMe.
posted by rob511 at 12:43 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by rob511 at 12:43 AM on December 19, 2006
Fuck, after all that, I spelled 'reprieve' wrong. I give up.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:16 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:16 AM on December 19, 2006
Should I be concerned I woke up in a tub full of ice and that hot chick I met last night is gone? When did I get this scar?
posted by yerfatma at 4:47 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by yerfatma at 4:47 AM on December 19, 2006
vetiver writes 'I'd offer to have your babies but I can't find my turkey baster.'
Tee hee! Thank you very much for the offer, but I mince much less than I did, and so will (hopefully, one day) have children using the more conventional sperm-egg combining method.
posted by jack_mo at 5:48 AM on December 19, 2006
Tee hee! Thank you very much for the offer, but I mince much less than I did, and so will (hopefully, one day) have children using the more conventional sperm-egg combining method.
posted by jack_mo at 5:48 AM on December 19, 2006
The only way I can conceive of so many nancy-boys turning into so many straight mefites is that people tend to look back on times when they felt inadequate or when their behavior was more sexually ambiguous or questionable by adult norms, and then their embarassment colors their memories a pinker shade so they can distance themselves from that younger version of themselves that they found so inadequate.
Most people weren't as ugly/fat/gay/etc. as they thought. Most of the superlatively attractive people I know, for example, will talk about what an ugly dork they were in high school and then show you the most fresh-faced, adorable yearbook photo ever. Those who actually were genuinely ugly/fat/gay/etc. reserve the right to think this is total hogsnot. When you can't hide what you are, you have a very different experience from someone who, like most people, merely felt this way.
I'm not calling this out on anyone in particular. I just think all the cries of "Don't worry, I acted sooooooo gay when I was young, but then I puffed up into a real man" are a little too abundant (and convenient) to go unexamined.
posted by hermitosis at 6:41 AM on December 19, 2006
Most people weren't as ugly/fat/gay/etc. as they thought. Most of the superlatively attractive people I know, for example, will talk about what an ugly dork they were in high school and then show you the most fresh-faced, adorable yearbook photo ever. Those who actually were genuinely ugly/fat/gay/etc. reserve the right to think this is total hogsnot. When you can't hide what you are, you have a very different experience from someone who, like most people, merely felt this way.
I'm not calling this out on anyone in particular. I just think all the cries of "Don't worry, I acted sooooooo gay when I was young, but then I puffed up into a real man" are a little too abundant (and convenient) to go unexamined.
posted by hermitosis at 6:41 AM on December 19, 2006
there's an undercurrent of "oh noes!!1! homoshexuls! they act weird!" that I don't much like.
You do understand, don't you, that the world is not divided into Evil Homophobes and Wonderful Happy Rainbow People? That there are perfectly good, decent people who have not been exposed to many people they knew were gay and don't know anything about the gay life, and who care a great deal about their kids and want them to have a perfect life, and even if they don't have anything against gay people (as the poster doesn't) are aware that being gay can make your life difficult? Sure you do. You just forgot for a moment.
posted by languagehat at 7:22 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]
You do understand, don't you, that the world is not divided into Evil Homophobes and Wonderful Happy Rainbow People? That there are perfectly good, decent people who have not been exposed to many people they knew were gay and don't know anything about the gay life, and who care a great deal about their kids and want them to have a perfect life, and even if they don't have anything against gay people (as the poster doesn't) are aware that being gay can make your life difficult? Sure you do. You just forgot for a moment.
posted by languagehat at 7:22 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]
So you're saying the problem is not enough homosexuals are willing to expose themselves?
posted by yerfatma at 7:38 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by yerfatma at 7:38 AM on December 19, 2006
As a young, single homosexual, I'm going to jump on yerfatma's comment wholeheartedly. Not enough homosexuals are exposing themselves! It's a shame. Maybe if I exposed myself to them first?
Oh, and hermitosis: I now have pictures of me when I was in middle school. I was genuinely fat. Exhibit B: My college graduation picture, in which my pencil-thin eyebrows prove that I was genuinely queeny. I wonder if my parents would prefer a fat, straight son to a thin, gay one...
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 8:19 AM on December 19, 2006
Oh, and hermitosis: I now have pictures of me when I was in middle school. I was genuinely fat. Exhibit B: My college graduation picture, in which my pencil-thin eyebrows prove that I was genuinely queeny. I wonder if my parents would prefer a fat, straight son to a thin, gay one...
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 8:19 AM on December 19, 2006
that's how a clueless gay 12 year old raised by a slightly old-fashioned mother might behave
ftfy
posted by dreamsign at 8:34 AM on December 19, 2006
ftfy
posted by dreamsign at 8:34 AM on December 19, 2006
languagehat:
But as to whether the poster (Asker?) is real or not - it seems the "fake" camp thinks that her concerns are too stereotypical to represent real concerns. From my own experience, I can tell you that having kids pretty much instantly turns you into a dork, and you start to worry about all sorts of things that you wouldn't have thought twice about back when you were less of a dork.
Music, for instance - I really don't think I want my kids hearing "fuck" or "bitch" or "nigga" or "ho" or "pop a cap in yo mothafuckin ass" or any of that garbage from passing cars. I didn't used to care, but now I do. It's invasive and it really, really does teach kids to say bad words, and if I tell that to one of you little whippersnappers, you'll likely point and laugh at the crotchety old man.
I think it's the same prejudice at work here - this woman seems like such a big dork that she can't possibly exist in real life - it must be a pose, right? Wrong. Most parents will do anything in their power for their kids - and we don't care if we look like dorks in the process. You really can't understand how little a parent cares about looking "cool" when it comes to protecting a child, until you have a child.
posted by Mister_A at 8:38 AM on December 19, 2006
...there are perfectly good, decent people who have not been exposed to many people they knew were gayDon't these people watch Will and Grace?
But as to whether the poster (Asker?) is real or not - it seems the "fake" camp thinks that her concerns are too stereotypical to represent real concerns. From my own experience, I can tell you that having kids pretty much instantly turns you into a dork, and you start to worry about all sorts of things that you wouldn't have thought twice about back when you were less of a dork.
Music, for instance - I really don't think I want my kids hearing "fuck" or "bitch" or "nigga" or "ho" or "pop a cap in yo mothafuckin ass" or any of that garbage from passing cars. I didn't used to care, but now I do. It's invasive and it really, really does teach kids to say bad words, and if I tell that to one of you little whippersnappers, you'll likely point and laugh at the crotchety old man.
I think it's the same prejudice at work here - this woman seems like such a big dork that she can't possibly exist in real life - it must be a pose, right? Wrong. Most parents will do anything in their power for their kids - and we don't care if we look like dorks in the process. You really can't understand how little a parent cares about looking "cool" when it comes to protecting a child, until you have a child.
posted by Mister_A at 8:38 AM on December 19, 2006
Mister_A: I assume you know this, but just in case: I entirely agree with you. I have the same reaction to people doing and saying things around my two-and-a-half-year-old grandson (the smartest and best kid in the world!) that wouldn't faze me a bit otherwise.
posted by languagehat at 9:17 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by languagehat at 9:17 AM on December 19, 2006
Look, the question is "I think my son might be gay, what should I do?"
no, the question is "my kid is sensitive and holds his pinky out when he drinks: OMFG he might be a homersexualist" which is just insane. The Mayor is spot-on, it's so clearly a fake it isn't even funny. and that is the problem: most fakes, like "I just rammed a Tickle Me Elmo doll halfway up my ass but the batteries are dead, can I replace them while Elmo is still up my ass?", are indeed funny, this wasn't. it was just weak.
me, I eagerly await anonymous crazy fake questions. this was a lame one and a weak attempt at trolling -- made by as konolia wisely points out -- a brand new account.
so, dear sockpuppets/fakers, please make up some more entertaining shit, the holidays are so depressing we need the AskMe comic relief.
posted by matteo at 9:31 AM on December 19, 2006
no, the question is "my kid is sensitive and holds his pinky out when he drinks: OMFG he might be a homersexualist" which is just insane. The Mayor is spot-on, it's so clearly a fake it isn't even funny. and that is the problem: most fakes, like "I just rammed a Tickle Me Elmo doll halfway up my ass but the batteries are dead, can I replace them while Elmo is still up my ass?", are indeed funny, this wasn't. it was just weak.
me, I eagerly await anonymous crazy fake questions. this was a lame one and a weak attempt at trolling -- made by as konolia wisely points out -- a brand new account.
so, dear sockpuppets/fakers, please make up some more entertaining shit, the holidays are so depressing we need the AskMe comic relief.
posted by matteo at 9:31 AM on December 19, 2006
and by the way always check the batteries before ramming that Elmo doll up your ass.
posted by matteo at 9:32 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by matteo at 9:32 AM on December 19, 2006
Ah, someone else who's never known a mother.
posted by languagehat at 9:38 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by languagehat at 9:38 AM on December 19, 2006
I know mine pretty well, I'm sorry you didn't meet yours
posted by matteo at 9:44 AM on December 19, 2006
posted by matteo at 9:44 AM on December 19, 2006
fuck notepad, the above should read:
...I'm sorry you didn't meet yours for tea, I'm sure she'd never have checked your pinkie for signs of gayness
posted by matteo at 9:50 AM on December 19, 2006
...I'm sorry you didn't meet yours for tea, I'm sure she'd never have checked your pinkie for signs of gayness
posted by matteo at 9:50 AM on December 19, 2006
I have to disagree with the assertion that this is obviously fake. My father once asked me if I got the lead in the 4th grade Christmas pageant because I was gay. Because, you know, they gays love theater. I'm glad that you're so enlightened, but people have varying levels of awareness and acceptance. It sounds honest to me. Don't you feel like a fake would have gone a lot further?
And please stop mentioning "Will & Grace" as a show that gives people a better understanding of gay men. Yes, it puts gay men out there, but Jack McFarland isn't doing a whole lot to distance gay men from the extended pinky.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 9:59 AM on December 19, 2006
And please stop mentioning "Will & Grace" as a show that gives people a better understanding of gay men. Yes, it puts gay men out there, but Jack McFarland isn't doing a whole lot to distance gay men from the extended pinky.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 9:59 AM on December 19, 2006
cribcage writes ""I dont think anyone born before 1960 should be allowed to post on ask metafilter."
"I feel the same about anyone born after 1980."
Whew! Still able to post.
posted by Mitheral at 12:47 PM on December 19, 2006
"I feel the same about anyone born after 1980."
Whew! Still able to post.
posted by Mitheral at 12:47 PM on December 19, 2006
but Jack McFarland isn't doing a whole lot to distance gay men from the extended pinky.
yeah, but at least Sean Hayes is gay, right? Eric McCormack isn't, not to mention his character is the least sexual character in the history of drama -- God forbid one TV show has a gay character actually, you know, having some sort of a sex life. how ironic that Will is just a better-dressed Trappist monk. and, let's face it, his only lasting relationship is the one he has with a straight woman
so much for "revolutionary" shows I guess
posted by matteo at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2006
yeah, but at least Sean Hayes is gay, right? Eric McCormack isn't, not to mention his character is the least sexual character in the history of drama -- God forbid one TV show has a gay character actually, you know, having some sort of a sex life. how ironic that Will is just a better-dressed Trappist monk. and, let's face it, his only lasting relationship is the one he has with a straight woman
so much for "revolutionary" shows I guess
posted by matteo at 1:14 PM on December 19, 2006
HICST! - That's some story - your DAD asked you that? In 4th grade? In a way it seems better that he would ask rather than thinking it and not saying anything, but I suppose it depends on how/why he said that. The Will & Grace thing was a joke, of course.
posted by Mister_A at 1:23 PM on December 19, 2006
posted by Mister_A at 1:23 PM on December 19, 2006
"I feel the same about anyone born after 1980."
Limbos under the cut-off.
posted by drezdn at 2:33 PM on December 19, 2006
Limbos under the cut-off.
posted by drezdn at 2:33 PM on December 19, 2006
"I feel the same about anyone born after 1980."
I was *conceived* in 1980. If only I'd had to foresight to wreak havoc upon my parents' birth control a year earlier and my MetaFilter posting rights would remain intact. *sigh*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:23 PM on December 19, 2006
I was *conceived* in 1980. If only I'd had to foresight to wreak havoc upon my parents' birth control a year earlier and my MetaFilter posting rights would remain intact. *sigh*
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:23 PM on December 19, 2006
Mister_A: He asked me in high school, after I came out. My parents, like many, had an array of interesting notions about the whole concepts of gays. They were not as forward-thinking as justamom, and it didn't quite dawn on them to pose thoughtful questions to an unbiased source.
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 3:46 PM on December 19, 2006
posted by Help, I can't stop talking! at 3:46 PM on December 19, 2006
It's the "limp wrist" thing that throws me. What does she mean by having a limp wrist? Does he stand around like Jack Benny? Because I guess I always thought that "limp-wristed" was similiar to "light in the loafers" in that it doesn't really mean the person has a limp wrist. Does it? Boys just generally tend to be floppy, I would never look at one and think his wrist looks limp.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:06 PM on December 19, 2006
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:06 PM on December 19, 2006
Incorrect.
posted by oxford blue at 4:13 PM on December 19, 2006
posted by oxford blue at 4:13 PM on December 19, 2006
God, I hate people.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:28 PM on December 19, 2006
posted by five fresh fish at 5:28 PM on December 19, 2006
God hates people as well.
You're not a blasphemer are you?
posted by oxford blue at 5:35 PM on December 19, 2006
You're not a blasphemer are you?
posted by oxford blue at 5:35 PM on December 19, 2006
A blasphemer? Fuck Christ, no!
posted by five fresh fish at 7:16 PM on December 19, 2006
posted by five fresh fish at 7:16 PM on December 19, 2006
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posted by Mayor Curley at 1:48 PM on December 18, 2006