December 19, 2006

7:23 AM

I'd love to help you name your cat, and I'd love to help you name your baked goods. BUT - Please avoid "help me name my kitten/computer/website" and "help me make a mix CD" questions. Why do we want to avoid these kind of questions? Are these an acceptable use of Ask.me or not?
posted by bigmusic to etiquette/policy at 7:23 AM (77 comments total)

A lot of us are really sick of all the "NameMy" posts. Particularly the ones we've already done a thousand times, particularly mix CDs and naming pets (although it is fun to look at pictures of cute new pets!).
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:26 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

And, one of the problems with AskMe is the sheer volume of questions. Questions of this type are both personal and trivial, and, given the constraints on this community resource, are best handled by the poster's rather than by the community. The pet naming threads are particularly bad: if you can't be responsible for naming your pet, maybe you shouldn't have one.
posted by OmieWise at 7:32 AM on December 19, 2006

Perhaps we could have a FAQ on the AskMe posting page. Like dancing santa.

Q: What should I call my ?

A: Frank. Call it Frank.
posted by GuyZero at 7:33 AM on December 19, 2006

We already have two people who (arguably) lead the field when it comes to administrating help forums. Given that context, the idea that we need to use a seconfd forum to micro-manage the guidelines they use via vague categories seems...........

Help me out here bigmusic. What does that seem like?
posted by Bael'Gar at 7:33 AM on December 19, 2006

Ah, shit, ***posters***, or ***by the poster's imagination***.
posted by OmieWise at 7:34 AM on December 19, 2006

Maybe we should audit all previous NameMyCat questions, to see if the cat owners actually took the advice of the HiveMind or not. If the posts are both tiresome to read, and unhelpful to the posters we'd have a clear case for really banning them.
posted by roofus at 7:42 AM on December 19, 2006

IMHO, if the guidelines say not to do something, and you do it anyways and don't mention reading the guidelines, the question should be nuked.
posted by smackfu at 7:48 AM on December 19, 2006

I'm pretty annoyed myself that posts like this are flooding AskMe (and causing people with actual questions to have a longer waiting period). I was about to post this exact callout, in fact. Thanks, bigmusic, for doing it.

Bael'Gar: The point isn't to micro-manage. The point is to give them an idea of the group mood towards such questions. I realize that those who are in favor of namemycat questions are exactly those who are less likely to be reading meta, though.
posted by dmd at 7:49 AM on December 19, 2006

And just yesterday someone posted another mixtape question. Grr.
posted by smackfu at 7:49 AM on December 19, 2006

IMHO, if the guidelines say not to do something, and you do it anyways and don't mention reading the guidelines, the question should be nuked.

Erm... so if the guidelines say not to do something, and you do it anyways and you do mention reading the guidelines, you should get pumpkin pie?

Cause I like pumpkin pie.
posted by dreamsign at 7:51 AM on December 19, 2006

Twenty-three people favorited the question smackfu linked to. This robot-rock question was side-barred. I like mix-tape questions myself. I don't have a problem with helping other people name their cats, either.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:59 AM on December 19, 2006

Point them here and call it a day.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:00 AM on December 19, 2006

Flag it and move on. I did.
posted by emelenjr at 8:00 AM on December 19, 2006

Actually, you complained about it in the thread, emelenjr, and I flagged you for breaking the guidelines.
posted by dreamsign at 8:02 AM on December 19, 2006

They're discouraged but not generally deleted, same as gift questions over the holiday season. I'd prefer to nuke all of them, but the fact that people keep asking and answering and favoriting them seems to indicate to me that there is something I may be missing.
posted by jessamyn at 8:04 AM on December 19, 2006

there is something I may be missing

Yeah, people like to use AskMe to chat about naming things.
posted by mediareport at 8:06 AM on December 19, 2006

(Not that I want to see them deleted; I just roll my eyes and move on)
posted by mediareport at 8:06 AM on December 19, 2006

Questions are for dummies.
posted by Mister_A at 8:07 AM on December 19, 2006

ThePinkSuperhero, given the choice between somebody using AskMe to ask for help naming their cat, or somebody twice using MeTa to pimp their show, I'd choose: Tiddles.
posted by veedubya at 8:12 AM on December 19, 2006

Tiddles? Tiddles the Cat? That's just sick. I think I'm beginning to understand why cats are so evil.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:13 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

I hate cats.
posted by veedubya at 8:16 AM on December 19, 2006

I just love them. Let's trade recepies!
posted by ODiV at 8:17 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

Erm, not Vittles the cat.
posted by dreamsign at 8:18 AM on December 19, 2006

One time I was walking down the street and I saw a pick-up truck with a bumpersticker that said "I Love Cats---Dead Ones". And there, in the street, right next to the truck, was a dead cat.
How often does that happen? You find out someone loves something, and there it is! That's the best kind of gift: serendipitous.
I put it under his seat so the surprise would be all the more sweet when he found it.
posted by Floydd at 8:23 AM on December 19, 2006 [5 favorites]

I missed seeing Babe at the cinema because there was a dead cat lying outside my door. At least it was dead by the time I realised what I was standing on. After that, spending a couple of hours watching animals talk to each other didn't seem right.
posted by veedubya at 8:27 AM on December 19, 2006

(and causing people with actual questions to have a longer waiting period)

How so?
posted by inigo2 at 8:37 AM on December 19, 2006

Interestingly, the name my kittens post was preceded by a name my job post.

For what it's worth, I think there should be more cats named Steve, and more managers called Chief, or - depending on what kind of manager they are - Attila. I may have those categories mixed up, though.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:41 AM on December 19, 2006

ThePinkSuperhero, given the choice between somebody using AskMe to ask for help naming their cat, or somebody twice using MeTa to pimp their show, I'd choose

Wow, talk about holding a grudge.
posted by smackfu at 8:43 AM on December 19, 2006

Shall we declaw the cat? Let's call s/he "Gimpy."
posted by fixedgear at 8:45 AM on December 19, 2006

I think there should be more cats named Steve,

Every time I've been so unbelievably bored that I've clicked through to a pet-naming thread, I've suggested Steve. It's a noble name for a cat.

How so?

The waiting period between questions was just upped to a fortnight, to somehow slow down the rate at which questions are posted. If the people that can't think up a name for a cat had never posted, this would never have happened. Or something.
posted by jack_mo at 8:48 AM on December 19, 2006

Dear AskMe,
I need songs about cat names for a job title for the new as-yet-unnamed bagel franchise I am opening soon. Please hope me.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:49 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

Absolutely, smackfu. That incident involving a random stranger on the internet has been burning me up for a long, long time. I haven't been able to sleep. I haven't been able to eat. It's become my only topic of conversation, how one day I'd teach her for wronging me. Today was the day. Now I feel all empty inside.

My apologies, ThePinkSuperhero. No offence was intended. I only remembered because (whilst under the influence) I staged a mini flame-out about it.
posted by veedubya at 8:55 AM on December 19, 2006

Name your cat quonsar. Then it will be needlessly called out and hated. You will have a tough cat!
posted by The Deej at 8:55 AM on December 19, 2006

Hahah, no problem, veedubya. You can remember stuff you do while you're drunk? I'm impressed. I will completely forgive you as long as you can assure me there is no cat named Tiddles.

It's not that I hate cats. I just don't understand them. Like a few days ago, I shut the door to my parent's cat's bathroom. She came to where I was, starting rubbing against me and meowing real loud. I thought, how cute. Then she hit me in the face and started hissing!! If she were a dog, she'd cry, pee in the corner, and feel so guilty about it she'd hide from me. I'm just saying. I'm scared of cats.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:01 AM on December 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

Cheers. There's no cat named Tiddles. Yet.

If I couldn't remember stuff that I did whilst drunk, I'd functionally be an alzheimer's victim.
posted by veedubya at 9:08 AM on December 19, 2006

Mix tape threads bug me. "I made you this wonderful mix tape of songs recommended to me by online strangers!" How sentimental. People who want to broaden their interest and knowledge of music in order to wow people with it via mixes need to just do the same legwork everyone else does: listening to lots of new music, reading about music, finding out what you like, etc., instead of using MeFi to bolster your faded tastes and create the illusion that you have varied and interesting musical tastes.

If you don't personally know of 26 songs that mention Andy Warhol, and you can't find them via iTunes or Google or Pandora, then you simply do not deserve to have or distribute that cd. I would love it if I never saw another one of these threads.

As for the naming, this too always makes me cringe, as people simply don't have the confidence to rely on their own cleverness. I hope no one who's ever gotten a name for something from AskMe can accept a compliment on the name without feeling a twinge of subconscious anxiety knowing that that their own ideas just. weren't. good enough.

Outside: "Thanks, yeah, he just looks like a 'Funkbot 3000', doesn't he?"

Inside: "I WISH I WAS DEAD."
posted by hermitosis at 9:29 AM on December 19, 2006

They're discouraged but not generally deleted, same as gift questions over the holiday season.

Are gift questions really so terrible? It seems to me that a lot of people need help selecting gifts at the season, and suggestions would be generally helpful. Of course, I say this as someone whose first AskMe post was one such.
posted by Karmakaze at 9:33 AM on December 19, 2006

It's not that I hate cats. I just don't understand them.

Nobody understands them. Yesterday evening our small female cat suddenly started making that strange alien yowl cats make only when they're confronting some seriously bad shit. She leapt up on the radiator in my office, fur on end, tail three times its normal size, and kept yowling, staring in the direction of my desk. At first I thought there might be a mouse under it (but she'd attack it, not back off and yowl), but eventually I looked beyond it and realized she was staring at our other cat, a younger but larger male. He was obviously as bewildered and freaked out as I was. My wife came up and started soothing the female, coaxing her down and stroking her, but she would not be mollified; it was as if she had forgotten who the male cat was and saw him as some kind of monster from outer space. We got them both downstairs and started ostentatiously getting their wet food ready, which normally brings them both in happy and eager, but they stayed out in the living room, the male sensibly hiding behind the couch, the female crouching at the foot of the stairs and glaring at him. Finally we got them in to eat, and after that she seemed to remember who he was. But he was pretty chastened for a while, until he forgot about it and started being his normal adolescent-jerk self.

Cats are weird.
posted by languagehat at 9:33 AM on December 19, 2006

Oh, and on topic: I wish all those name-my-pet questions would be mercilessly deleted. In fact, surely an automatic filter could be devised that would detect them before they were posted and respond with "This is a dumb question. Call it Frank or pick a word at random from the dictionary." Or maybe deliver an electric shock.
posted by languagehat at 9:35 AM on December 19, 2006

Why not have a 'names' category for questions, and allow people to set which categories they want to see questions for? Like (durst I suggest) Slashdot?
posted by veedubya at 9:44 AM on December 19, 2006

I asked what is arguably a mixed tape question about a month ago and I have to say, got some really helpful advice and some awesome suggestions.

If you don't personally know of 26 songs that mention Andy Warhol, and you can't find them via iTunes or Google or Pandora, then you simply do not deserve to have or distribute that cd.

I really don't get that. To me, asking for help looking for music is pretty much the same as asking for recommendations on cookware or places to go in Paris or how to do something in Excel. Sure, you could spend hours researching this stuff on the web but the point of asking any question is for help doing all of these things.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 9:51 AM on December 19, 2006

Possible simple solution: Allow posters to mark threads as "trivial" (with, of course, administrative override if someone obviously forgets or misjudges). Then let people filter out the trivial questions if they don't want to read them.

I know Matt has resisted filtering because he feels it would fragment the community, but even if it's true, that may be a lesser evil than the continual bitching in MetaTalk about people not following the guidelines. If the guidelines aren't enforced with deletions, then the bitching will continue.
posted by kindall at 9:53 AM on December 19, 2006

Universal truth:


No matter what you do, someone will ALWAYS bitch about it...

Metafilter: someone's always bitching.
posted by lonefrontranger at 10:16 AM on December 19, 2006

Outside: "Thanks, yeah, he just looks like a 'Funkbot 3000', doesn't he?"

Ha! Man, if I ever get a cat I am totally naming it "Funkbot 3000".
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:22 AM on December 19, 2006

You know who else hated cat names?
posted by drezdn at 10:22 AM on December 19, 2006

Why does it always seem as though people start hating the things I hated 2-3 weeks ago, complained about, was met with indifference, and now don't really care about?

Where was your hate then, you haters-come-lately, where was your hate when I needed it most?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:51 AM on December 19, 2006

It's the name my child ones (1, 2, 3, hypothetical) I find weird. There are hundreds of baby name books and websites; it's not necessarily a good idea to ask an international community for advice as names usually have different associations in different places; if you include your surname and choose one of the names suggested that identifies the child; I can't see the answer to "Why did you call me xx?" going down well; and would you want to choose a name suggested by people who have chosen their own names of DieHipsterDie or penguin pie?

Sorry, that turned into a rant. I actually quite enjoy reading these posts and replies - just think WTF? Agree with OmieWise's point about if you can't be bothered to name it yourself, should you have it?
posted by paduasoy at 11:02 AM on December 19, 2006

ThePinkSuperhero: regarding Tiddles
posted by dmd at 11:31 AM on December 19, 2006

I really don't get that. To me, asking for help looking for music is pretty much the same as asking for recommendations on cookware or places to go in Paris or how to do something in Excel.

In Highbury, Islington, Nick Hornby just exploded.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:22 PM on December 19, 2006

In Highbury, Islington, Nick Hornby just exploded.

Yeah, I know. People feel like music is such a big personal deal but I love music and love hearing about what other people like, even if I don't know the recommender. That's not to say that I'll like something because some random person on the internets told me I should but a lot of the music I like was recommended to me by someone, based on preferences I expressed.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 12:29 PM on December 19, 2006

But Hornby's like the patron saint of askme mix tape questions. Half of his career is based on making mix-tape recommendations.
posted by timeistight at 12:36 PM on December 19, 2006

timeistight: Yeah, I probably should have written something like "somewhere in London, Rob Fleming just exploded".
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:41 PM on December 19, 2006

It's the name my child ones (1, 2, 3, hypothetical) I find weird.

As the author of one of those (2), I'd like to point out that I returned to the thread three months later to bring closure. The child was named Tamzin Star.

People name their children after car brands, and perfume brands, and even fucking sports brands, so there's a lot worse than canvassing the internet. I draw the line at cats though, because they are dumb as bricks and don't care what you call them.
posted by meehawl at 12:58 PM on December 19, 2006

Cats are all called "pss pss pss pss".
posted by Mister_A at 1:09 PM on December 19, 2006

I thought cats were called "you miserable fuck, what the hell did I just stand in?"
posted by maxwelton at 1:34 PM on December 19, 2006

I'm going to get me a cat, and then I'm going to name her Ask Metafilter. And then I'm going to sublet my account to her, have her walk all over the keyboard whenever somebody writes "help me, Ask Metafilter".

Then, after a month or so, I'll get her a friend. Hive Mind, I'll call him.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 1:40 PM on December 19, 2006 [2 favorites]

meehawl, I did see that, and in particular that the child was finally called something that you'd noted in the question your friend had already rejected ... so I wasn't sure if this meant the answers were really useful, in that they showed your friend that there were no better options, or not.
posted by paduasoy at 1:44 PM on December 19, 2006

I wasn't sure if this meant the answers were really useful

I think it shows, more than anything else, that people are:
a) dumb
b) wonderfully adaptable and capable of changing their minds
c) both

For your information, she thought that the suggestions were excellent, but in the end felt that Star was the one to go with, even though it was initially rejected for being too much of a hippy cliche and a bit common.

The additition of the zed-spelling variation of Tamsin as Tamzin (both a Cornish diminutive of Thomasina ("Twin") and an aspect of the Chinese horse bodhisattva and the Hayagriva avatar of Vishnu apparently made it acceptable.
posted by meehawl at 2:04 PM on December 19, 2006

BUT - Please avoid "help me name my kitten/computer/website" and "help me make a mix CD" questions. Why do we want to avoid these kind of questions? Are these an acceptable use of Ask.me or not?
What part of "please avoid" did you not understand?
posted by dg at 2:37 PM on December 19, 2006

Now I want to go and make a mixtape for my cat and make a post to AskMe for requests.

A week or so ago at work one of my friends asked me to help her name her rabbit. (Keep in mind that I named my cat Wensleydale and you get an idea of what I think is an appropriate name for a pet.) I asked if it was a girl rabbit or a boy rabbit and she said that she was getting a girl, so I suggested Hatshepsut.

Nerdery of this caliber is a pretty good way to never have anyone ask you to help them name a pet (or anything else) ever again.

(What annoys me more than the existence of mixtape posts is that by the time I get to them, whatever song I was going to suggest was already suggested by someone else.)
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:42 PM on December 19, 2006

I've always wanted to respond to "Name my cat...." questions with "Fuck you, name your own cat." Not because I hate cats but because I hate questions that are phrased as demands.

- Tiddles
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:43 PM on December 19, 2006

I just received a Christmas Kitten from my own darling boy yesterday and never once thought to AskYou to name him (CK not MODB.) Which as it turns out is a good thing because frankly Nasty Bugger, FunkBot 3000, or Frank don't seem to fit quite as well as Vasco de Gama. Little Vasco and my own darling boy are taking a nap together right now in case you were interested.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:12 PM on December 19, 2006

Thanks for the background, meehawl.
posted by paduasoy at 3:29 PM on December 19, 2006

Questions are for dummies.

This was a joke, clearly, but. Legions of dimwit but well-meaning school teachers who insisted on telling kids 'there's no such thing as a stupid question' are to blame.

People really seem to believe this. It isn't true.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:31 PM on December 19, 2006

I posted the (1) baby name question (we named him Julian). I would probably not post that type of question today. The general tone of AskMe has shifted as the novelty of certain question types has worn off and the question volume has grown. It used to be a bit more chatty, a bit more informal and just generally more friendly. I suppose this change is an unavoidable side effect of the increasing popularity of AskMe. Just an observation really. I still read and enjoy the site, I'm just not sure I would post the same types of questions that I did in the old days.
posted by Otis at 4:48 PM on December 19, 2006

Please make it end. And then bring back seven days. Please.
posted by dame at 5:09 PM on December 19, 2006

Early last year I posted a "Name my Cat" question. At the time, I didn't think it was a "total waste of bandwith" as someone called it, because I was specifically asking for an ironic name for a jet black cat. The thread was deleted however after some whining in Metatalk, even though earlier threads of the same weren't deleted (I guess 'cause they had cute kitten pictures?) I was fine with it though (I had already picked one of the Mefites suggestions) but if you're going to delete them or not delete them, make up your mind and stick with it.

And Cash, the Man in Black, is living up to his name quite well.
posted by Ugh at 5:24 PM on December 19, 2006

You-all helped me name my dog. I had no idea that was so bad, nor that it had been done so many times before. From now on my dog shall be nameless and shall have to answer to " ".
posted by fieldtrip at 10:08 PM on December 19, 2006

No, dogs are fine; especially when there are pictures.

Hey, Cassie. Who's a good girl?
posted by timeistight at 3:02 AM on December 20, 2006

I have to admit, I didn't see the bit in the guidelines about avoiding pet-naming threads. I've seen many name-my-pet/baby/server/meeting-room/etc threads, they always get a big response and sometimes there's some very funny suggestions. I like them, I wasn't aware they were so frowned-upon, and I'm sorry I caused offence.

*presents self for flagellation*

I did like emelenjr's little snark-disguised-as-answer though, very clever, thanks for that.
posted by corvine at 5:32 AM on December 20, 2006

How many answers do you have to post before you can get in on the flagellatin'? I tried loading that page but I got a ColdFusion error.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:38 AM on December 20, 2006

You're welcome. (And thank you. At least someone noticed I wasn't complaining. I did flag the post, too.)
posted by emelenjr at 10:09 AM on December 20, 2006

I realize I'm late to the show, but I have an honest question... what's the difference between mixtape questions (help me find more songs that meet certain criteria) and book recommendation questions like this one (help me find more books that meet certain criteria). For my part, I enjoy both kinds of threads and think that they should be considered valid queries for the great HiveMind, but clearly others disagree. Why is that? Or are book threads frowned upon as well, even though they are not mentioned in the guidelines?

I know, I know: "STFU n00b." Like I said, this is an honest question. And just to be clear, this is not intended as a callout of eurasian for the book question.
posted by somanyamys at 7:21 AM on December 21, 2006

No, I think that's a perfectly reasonable question; myself, I just ignore the mixtape questions, I don't hate them the way I do the name-your-pet ones. People who think book-recommendation questions are OK but mixtape ones evil should be prepared to explain why.
posted by languagehat at 7:50 AM on December 21, 2006

I know this is probably, dead but: Because mix-tapes are supposed to come from your collection. They are supposed to be made of songs you know and love out of love for your friends. I don't mind music recommendation threads. But mixes are different.
posted by dame at 6:55 PM on December 21, 2006

I appreciate the responses (especially since this thread is sputtering and dying), and I agree that ideally, mixtapes should be a personal endeavor. But that doesn't seem to be the rationale for the anti-mixtape guidelines here. Perhaps our fearless leaders could weigh in if they're still reading. I still don't see the difference between "My friend is moving to Timbuktu and I want to give her a CD -- what are some good songs about Timbuktu?" (which is apparently frowned upon), and "My friend is moving to Timbuktu and I want to give her some books to read -- what are some good books about Timbuktu?" (which is apparently fine).

I suppose if I really want an answer to this, I ought to start a new thread, but it's Friday, and I'm not inclined to poke at this particular hornets' nest right before a holiday weekend. Some other time, perhaps.
posted by somanyamys at 6:20 AM on December 22, 2006

Oaky, well email me and let me know and we'll totally go at it. You know, in January.
posted by dame at 1:57 PM on December 22, 2006