Enough with the fat jokes. January 15, 2007 1:08 AM   Subscribe

Enought with the fat haters already. The post was cute, was it really neccessary to mock the photographer's appearance?
posted by alltomorrowsparties to Etiquette/Policy at 1:08 AM (142 comments total)

I'm guessing you're just a little sensitive about this? And you meant to link to this comment?

Btw, this is probably one of the dumbest callouts I've seen in a while. So congratulations on that.
posted by bob sarabia at 1:24 AM on January 15, 2007


No, more like this comment and this comment.

Back in my Usenet days, we called this sort of comment "shitting on the thread."
posted by ikkyu2 at 1:27 AM on January 15, 2007


Upon further review, I guess you mean these comments.

I stand by my reaction to this callout.
posted by bob sarabia at 1:27 AM on January 15, 2007


He's not really all that fat, is he? He does, indeed, look like a slightly buffet-bloated Jack Bauer, no? Speaking as someone who owns an ass that's currently just about that size, I'd hardly be offended by "been at the buffet a bit too long".

Are you fucking kidding me? Buffets are awesome. Where else can I fill my plate with cornbread, brownies, fried shrimp egg rolls, jello and ice cream until my head explodes?
posted by loquacious at 1:30 AM on January 15, 2007


Ok, after reviewing the comments ikkyu2 linked to I'm going to have to apologize for thinking this was an over-sensitive callout. Those comments were completely stupid. "haha. look at that fatty run!" Jesus, grow the fuck up.
posted by bob sarabia at 1:32 AM on January 15, 2007


Ok, the stupid is strong in some of those comments.

Jack Bauer at the buffet is funny, though.
posted by loquacious at 1:33 AM on January 15, 2007


I think the true culprit is ill-fitting garments rather than physical fitness. He doesn't look nearly so large when wearing a t-shirt.

I object to the comments for reasons of banality rather than offense, but agree nonetheless!
posted by The God Complex at 1:40 AM on January 15, 2007


Well, in the photos where he's not wearing a padded jacket to keep out the lethally cold Northern Winter and not running uphill so that the camera angle wildly overemphasises his arse, he doesn't really look overweight at all.

Also, what the hell does anyone think they're going to achieve with a comment like 'ha ha. look at that fatty run!'? Impress other users of the site (not the fat ones, presumably)? Forget for a moment one's own inadequacies by looking down on someone else from the slender pinnacle of a normal insulin response? Build up a stock of 'Favourited by others: x' to rival Loquacious'? Idiots.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 1:54 AM on January 15, 2007


The post was cute, was it really neccessary to mock the photographer's appearance?

The only possible outcome of the project was endless photos of the guy's arse. Of course it's going to get commented on.

Prost's comment looks like a joke re: the otherwise limited entertainment to be found in the pictures.
posted by cillit bang at 2:06 AM on January 15, 2007


Do these pants make my ass look big?
posted by Meatbomb at 2:19 AM on January 15, 2007


Do these pants make my ass look big?
posted by Meatbomb


No!!!! All that fat makes your ass look big.
posted by The Deej at 2:20 AM on January 15, 2007


I dunno, the first nasty comment seemed kind of shaming to me, although I might have misread his intention. The 'lardass' comment came from Paris Hilton, for chrissake. See, cuz she's internationally known as a coke-head ana w/ a creaky underfed posse of nutrition deprived legwarmer-mongers? Anyway, coming from the cornfed midwest of the US as I do, that guy didn't even register as plump. So I'm thinking you're maybe giving too much weight to this post.

See, I made a little joke there.
posted by maryh at 2:25 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


For some reason pointless shit like this restores a little of my faith in humanity. It's just so very sweet, like bed jumping. And I'm quite sure that it means that there is hope for us yet. Now, if only he could lose some weight he could get Levis to sponsor him.
posted by econous at 2:30 AM on January 15, 2007


I had the same reaction to Rotterdam.
posted by Wolof at 3:09 AM on January 15, 2007


I'm sorry that my "Bauer...buffet" comment offended you.
And I'm sad that others were even meaner.
(In a pathetic attempt at passing the buck I assert that the "lardass" stuff was truly inappropriate and mine was gentler, but pain is pain.)
I lost 115 pounds this year (yep-- not a typo) and have already forgotten how hard looksism can be.
We cool?
posted by Dizzy at 3:11 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Jack Bauer at the buffet is funny, though.

TELL ME WHERE THE BEEF IS!
WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF THYME!!
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:16 AM on January 15, 2007 [5 favorites]


CHLOE I NEED THE COORDINATES ON THE THOUSAND ISLANDS
posted by danb at 3:39 AM on January 15, 2007 [4 favorites]


Whenever I watch 24, I get this big Art Fern flashback:

"How do you get to Country City. Take the Ventura Freeway to another freeway until you get to the Slauson cutoff. Stop the car. Get out of your car. Cut off your Slauson. Get back in your car and travel until you come to Rug City. Ignore the fork in the road, then turn on Slauson Parkway..."

That show always seems like a Beat-The-Clock Los Angeles Edition to me, but one that no mortal could ever win.
posted by maryh at 3:43 AM on January 15, 2007


I lost 115 pounds this year (yep-- not a typo)

Wow, that's 7.7 pounds a day!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:44 AM on January 15, 2007


Um, no, it's not.
posted by deadcowdan at 3:55 AM on January 15, 2007


Um, no, it's not.

15 x 7.7 = 115.5.
posted by The God Complex at 4:01 AM on January 15, 2007


Yeah, there was no need for those comments. But then again, it just outs a few more assholes I can ignore in subsequent threads. Along with the 'hurf durf Darwin awards!'-morons.

*pssst* Deadcowdan. It's 2007 now.
posted by slimepuppy at 4:06 AM on January 15, 2007


deadcowdan seeks more thyme
posted by peacay at 4:08 AM on January 15, 2007


Also, what the hell does anyone think they're going to achieve with a comment like 'ha ha. look at that fatty run!'? Impress other users of the site (not the fat ones, presumably)? Forget for a moment one's own inadequacies by looking down on someone else from the slender pinnacle of a normal insulin response? Build up a stock of 'Favourited by others: x' to rival Loquacious'?

Yeah, I'm usually aiming for all three.
posted by chrismear at 4:16 AM on January 15, 2007


Let's be honest here: sometimes, so am I.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:18 AM on January 15, 2007


I had the same reaction to Rotterdam

Indeed
posted by sebas at 4:58 AM on January 15, 2007


Wow, that's 7.7 pounds a day!
You need to understand, Dizzy is still writing out his checks "2006". (And thanks for the contribution to the "Wendell Comes to Your Defense in MeTa Fund", Diz. In spite of the date error, it cleared.) So, for a 2006 that is cuurently in its 380th day, that's about .3 pounds a day.
posted by wendell at 5:09 AM on January 15, 2007


poor taste? - yes
deserving of callout? - no
posted by caddis at 5:15 AM on January 15, 2007


I lost 115 pounds this year (yep-- not a typo)


While I'm sure you didn't feel great about it, I wouldn't really say you have a gambling problem, don't worry about it. Just take it easy next time you go to a casino.
posted by micayetoca at 5:16 AM on January 15, 2007


See, it's funny because pounds are also a unit of money! Get it?
posted by fixedgear at 5:44 AM on January 15, 2007


Metafilter has a long and storied hatred of the obese. It also is steeped in shadenfruede and a completely unnuanced attitude toward art.

To understand the mindset behind those comments, as well as much of Metatalk, simplythink 'junior high school." Insecure, hormonal dweebs, desperate for attention, who are biting and clawing their way up the imaginary hierarchy.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:50 AM on January 15, 2007


Metafilter has a long and storied hatred of the obese.

More like a long and storied over-sensitivity to fat jokes.
posted by caddis at 6:01 AM on January 15, 2007


To understand the mindset behind those comments, as well as much of Metatalk, simplythink 'junior high school." Insecure, hormonal dweebs, desperate for attention, who are biting and clawing their way up the imaginary hierarchy.

Welcome to the world.
posted by chrismear at 6:06 AM on January 15, 2007


It's not fair!!!
posted by smackfu at 6:24 AM on January 15, 2007


Welcome to the world.

no, in the real world the insecure, hormonal dweebs are biting and clawing their way out of the lockers they've been shoved into ... by people they called fat
posted by pyramid termite at 6:26 AM on January 15, 2007


Metafilter: A long and storied hatred of the obese.

Metafilter: Steeped in shadenfruede.

Metafilter: A completely unnuanced attitude toward art.

Vote for your favorite today.
posted by fixedgear at 6:28 AM on January 15, 2007


We are a shining beacon on the murky, dark, wooly web, to be sure.
posted by cortex at 6:30 AM on January 15, 2007


Dave Faris : "To understand the mindset behind those comments, as well as much of Metatalk, simplythink 'junior high school." Insecure, hormonal dweebs, desperate for attention, who are biting and clawing their way up the imaginary hierarchy."

You really think it's desparation for attention, or insecurity, that brings on fat jokes here? I think you're reading a bit too much into things. People here make fat jokes because they're a bit immature, and because they're a bit annoyed at how much obesity there is in society, and because of a bit of a belief (well-founded or ill-founded, I dunno) that overweight people are to blame for their own overweightness, etc. It's nothing as dramatic as "insecure biting and clawing of one's way up the imaginary hierarchy". That's what bragging about your user number / sign-up date is about.
posted by Bugbread at 6:47 AM on January 15, 2007


(Which, of course, is also reading quite a bit into it, so accusing you of reading too much into it was silly and wrong. I should have just said "I think you're reading the wrong things into it". Plus, in general, I'm not a reductionist, so I think it's exceedingly rare that there's one big reason for things, instead of a lot of little tiny things).
posted by Bugbread at 7:04 AM on January 15, 2007


Wait. So I've been biting and clawing for nothing?
posted by The Deej at 7:05 AM on January 15, 2007


Flabulous (TMZ.com, may not be safe for work)
posted by caddis at 7:11 AM on January 15, 2007


Let's Not Go There Again.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:32 AM on January 15, 2007


Metafilter has a long and storied hatred of the obese.

Yes. My god. The Blinding Hatred.
posted by dreamsign at 7:39 AM on January 15, 2007


Can the biters and clawers not bite and claw quite so hard? I can only wear scarves and turtlenecks so many times. I don't even look good in turtlenecks.
posted by iconomy at 7:45 AM on January 15, 2007


I AM SO FUCKING FAT! HATE ME!
posted by quonsar at 8:11 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dave Faris : "Metafilter has a long and storied hatred of the obese."

The problem with assigning attributes to MetaFilter as a whole is that you get situations like this (both of which, I'd say, are reasonably true statements, if we accept that MetaFilter has a hatred of the obese):

MetaFilter has a long and storied hatred of people who believe in God.
MetaFilter has a long and storied hatred of people who don't believe in God.

But, realistically, it would be safer to say "MetaFilter has a long and storied conflict between those who hate the obese, those that don't hate them but think it's ok to make jokes about them, and those that don't hate them and don't think it's ok to make jokes about them."

(There is also the "don't give a damn either way" contingent, but groups like that don't tend to be parts of long, storied things).
posted by Bugbread at 8:12 AM on January 15, 2007


MetaFilter has a long and storied hatred.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:13 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter has a long and storied hatred of people who believe in Fat.
posted by quonsar at 8:21 AM on January 15, 2007


I AM SO FUCKING FAT! HATE ME!

Can we hate your for other reasons?
posted by jmd82 at 8:22 AM on January 15, 2007


I came for the Reasoned Discourse, but I stayed for the Long and Storied Hatred of Various Nouns.
posted by Mister_A at 8:25 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter has a long and hated story.
posted by Bugbread at 8:31 AM on January 15, 2007


Lardy is the new fruity.
posted by found missing at 8:31 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


God hates fats.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 8:47 AM on January 15, 2007




I remember Longin Storied. Porn star from the 70s. A little chubby, if I recall correctly.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:56 AM on January 15, 2007


who knew human flesh was so fattening?
posted by caddis at 9:01 AM on January 15, 2007


Ech, this is simple. Delete the comments, close this thread. And it should be enough to flag comments as 'offensive;' they're stupid comments, but not worth wasting MeTa time on.
posted by koeselitz at 9:03 AM on January 15, 2007


Does this thread make my hatred of the obese look fat?
posted by sleevener at 9:07 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


I AM SO FUCKING FAT! HATE ME!

No way dude I could never hate you. I'd probably laugh at you running though. In fact I'm laughing right now. just thinking about it...
posted by econous at 9:17 AM on January 15, 2007


"That's what bragging about your user number / sign-up date is about."

These 40kers are ruining everything!

"MetaFilter has a long and storied hatred."

And lo, in 1037 did the Albanians come, with their hairy women and disgusting mucous-encrusted wardrobes. They, stinking of boiled leeks, encountered the Macedonians at Philipi, riding bridled Cypriots, where the Macedonians rubbed the Albanians with beets until they were purple and smelled like renderings. It was then that Metafilter was established, to provide rhetorical revenge for the squinty and bat-faced Cypriots who had been forced into service as the bottom member of chicken-fights in the fetid ferret-filled bogs of the Greek penninsula. The first post, Cat Scans Which Look Like Fucking Albanians (amirite?), was recieved with great joy, and lots of comments that went "More like fucking Macedonians, amirite?"
Unfortunately, this storied hatred has been lost to the sands of time, and we now just hate fat people and Christians.
posted by klangklangston at 9:27 AM on January 15, 2007


Fat people are gay.

40k posse in the hizzouse.
posted by Mister_A at 9:28 AM on January 15, 2007


The problem with assigning attributes to MetaFilter as a whole is that you get situations like this

So you're saying that all the years people have been saying "Metafilter: x" they've been wrong?
posted by Dave Faris at 9:29 AM on January 15, 2007


The couple of times I've seen your username I thought it said "Dave Farts."
posted by chococat at 9:33 AM on January 15, 2007


What's wrong with hating fat?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:33 AM on January 15, 2007


What's wrong with hating fat?

The problem is that often it is attached to people.
posted by found missing at 9:47 AM on January 15, 2007 [2 favorites]


Metafilter has a long and storied history of people making supercilious remarks in an attempt to show that while they read Metafilter and post to Metafilter, they themselves are above the common Metafilter proletariat that they are commenting on.
posted by tkolar at 9:58 AM on January 15, 2007


The problem is that often it is attached to people.

Hate the sin, not the sinner.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:02 AM on January 15, 2007


"The couple of times I've seen your username I thought it said 'Dave Farts.'"

Oh, good. I thought I was the only one reading it that way.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:14 AM on January 15, 2007


I'm a sweaty fat guy. Y'all are welcome to hate on me. I'd ask about how to lose weight on askme but don't dare use my precious, precious question. Besides, the answer I want doesn't involve more exercise or eating less. More masturbation would be an OK answer, though.
posted by maxwelton at 10:24 AM on January 15, 2007


It's not so much a hatred of fat people, but a hatred of fat. In much the same way you would hate someone carrying around the severed head of an infant (if you hated the severed head of an infant) we hate people carrying around fat. The ideal Metafilter user would have a negative body fat percentage, someone such as... oh, a robotic Abraham Lincoln, or perhaps some sort of animated skeleton would feel right at home. You may have already noticed that there are several zombies, an occasional insect, and multiple alien entities that post here. So enjoy the ride, ye flesh beings, for soon your doom shall come.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:27 AM on January 15, 2007


That's MR. Dave Farts to you.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:28 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Fat hate is so stupid. I love fat people. Their extra fat makes them nice and slow so that when the apocalypse comes, they will be easy prey for the rest of us. This is why I'm building my shelter near a Super-WalMart.
posted by Eideteker at 10:31 AM on January 15, 2007


So you're a Jolly Rancher, Eid? What flavor?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:33 AM on January 15, 2007


Wait, what?
posted by loquacious at 10:37 AM on January 15, 2007


"The couple of times I've seen your username I thought it said 'Dave Farts.'"

Oh, good. I thought I was the only one reading it that way.


I didn't realize it wasn't Dave Farts until now.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:37 AM on January 15, 2007


For some reason on all internet forums otherwise sensible people become drooling, raving nazis when it comes to any subject that involves obesity or fat in most respects. I was surprised to see this here at MeFi (in past threads, the linked one not so much), whereas at certain other sites *cough*fark*cough* you kinda expect it, due to the user demographic.
posted by clevershark at 10:40 AM on January 15, 2007


*cough*fark*cough*

When I read that, I thought you said *cough*fart*cough*, and it occurred to me that sometimes it is hard not to fart when you cough.
posted by found missing at 10:44 AM on January 15, 2007


Hate the sin, not the sinner.

And the fact that you consider fat a sin is the problem. Thanks for the moralizing.
posted by kimdog at 10:47 AM on January 15, 2007


Hate the fart, love the asshole.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 11:04 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


So, should I declaw my fat, circumsized dopefiend cat, or what?
posted by loquacious at 11:07 AM on January 15, 2007


Then again often a forced cough is often used to cover up a fart.
posted by clevershark at 11:07 AM on January 15, 2007


BTW, said fat cat is also a bike commuter who hates cars. And did I mention the dope?
posted by loquacious at 11:08 AM on January 15, 2007


Does it smoke?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:11 AM on January 15, 2007


Look, sometimes a fun pile-on is just that.

Fatty.
posted by Aquaman at 11:26 AM on January 15, 2007


All this talk about fat is making me want a bacon sammich.
posted by dios at 11:31 AM on January 15, 2007


I should clarify that I lost the weight by severing all my limbs in a tragic pie-cannon mishap.
Word To The Wise:
Never substitute nitric acid for citric acid in a basic meringue.
That Rachel Ray owes me an apology.
posted by Dizzy at 11:32 AM on January 15, 2007


But is the fat, clawed, dopefiend, uncircumcized, bike-commuting cat a Republican?
posted by clevershark at 11:32 AM on January 15, 2007




Fatties.

~chuckle~
posted by eyeballkid at 11:36 AM on January 15, 2007


I am by no means svelte, but I immediately thought "run, fatty, run" when I saw the very first picture. Then guy ain't much bigger than me, and I still had that knee-jerk reaction. Kinda disappointed in myself, but also understanding of that kind of visceral reaction.
posted by solid-one-love at 11:42 AM on January 15, 2007


"And the fact that you consider fat a sin is the problem. Thanks for the moralizing."

If I recall correctly, Kim, you have a very fat dog in this fight.
posted by klangklangston at 11:42 AM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Way to chew the fat, metafilter.
posted by Kudos at 12:04 PM on January 15, 2007


Hate the fart, love the asshole.

That made this whole thread worthwhile.
posted by languagehat at 12:05 PM on January 15, 2007


I don't hate fat people, I just love skinny people.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:09 PM on January 15, 2007


Metafilter has a long and storied hatred of the obese.

Indeed. It is spoken of in legend, passed down from generation to generation.

More like a long and storied over-sensitivity to fat jokes.

I don't think these are mutually exclusive.
posted by brundlefly at 12:22 PM on January 15, 2007


"Never substitute nitric acid for citric acid in a basic meringue."

lol acid
posted by Eideteker at 12:25 PM on January 15, 2007


I'm a fat guy, and I wasn't offended. Grow a spine.
posted by bingo at 12:37 PM on January 15, 2007


The fat may be clouding your judgment.
posted by found missing at 12:39 PM on January 15, 2007


Imagine there's this morbidly obese bearded, older fat guy, sitting at his computer. The view is directly from the side, and his arms are unnaturally held at his sides.

Imagine there is a rotund man with the typical facial characteristics of the mentally challenged. He is in a cardboard box. There is a caption which suggests he may be too charismatic for the container he finds himself in.

Imagine a shower stall with two incredibly obese women in it. They're naked, and the gif is animated with some jiggling.
posted by maxwelton at 1:07 PM on January 15, 2007


For my part, I read the first "fatt33z R funny" more or less the same way as cillit bang, above—as ironickal commentary on the way people were going to perceive the post—and I read many of the rest of the chorus as misguided agreement couched in similarly ironic terms. The whole game of interpreting whether anybody wanted to make fun of overweight people isn't any fun, though, so I don't know why I'm even commenting.
posted by cgc373 at 1:09 PM on January 15, 2007


Except, of course, to achieve the mighty 100th comment.
posted by cgc373 at 1:09 PM on January 15, 2007


Metafilter has a long and storied hatred of the obese.
. . .
To understand the mindset behind those comments, as well as much of Metatalk, simplythink 'junior high school." Insecure, hormonal dweebs, desperate for attention, who are biting and clawing their way up the imaginary hierarchy.


I never understood that hierarchy. But I understood the cruelty and sometimes violence against anyone designated as fat. Rememer, fat is relative: Fat in one subgroup is not in another. I'm really disgusted by the fat-hating comments here in various places on this site. I have not previously commented on that and probably will not again.

If you want to make a fat joke about yourself, that may be okay. About anyone else, not okay. That is the line I draw in the sand. Want to go beyond that, get a room. (I love this Chinese joke that my Chinese friend told me. Wouldn't repeat it here though.)

Fat hating and the attendant real discrimination in the world is vile.
posted by Listener at 1:17 PM on January 15, 2007


Hate the fart, love the asshole.

That made this whole thread worthwhile.

Hell, that's my motto.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:18 PM on January 15, 2007


Thanks, weretable.

"I've got more chins than Chinatown," indeed.
posted by koeselitz at 1:21 PM on January 15, 2007


so i walked into the room and all i heard was, ". . .fat fart , with wheels ,and a headlight."

so i have no idea what that was all about, but i'm sure offended about it.
posted by nola at 1:27 PM on January 15, 2007


Remember: Every fat person has a skinny person inside trying to get out. I just ate one myself and it's giving me indigestion.
posted by lekvar at 1:31 PM on January 15, 2007


Not to ruin the fun here, but I just have one question:
How is he fat, again?

Looks pretty scrawny to me.

As you were!
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:27 PM on January 15, 2007


so, are there fat chicks in here? Fat chicks are the hawt.
posted by jonmc at 2:45 PM on January 15, 2007


On the Internet, nobody knows you're a three-hundred-pound Saint Bernard.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 2:50 PM on January 15, 2007


why doesn't he just run sideways? he could escape altogether!
posted by drjimmy11 at 2:54 PM on January 15, 2007


Rememer, fat is relative: Fat in one subgroup is not in another.

That's what a girl with "a really pretty face" would say.
posted by dhammond at 3:00 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


CitrusFreak12: I don't think you understand that picture. We're talking about fatso over on the right in the bright-orange jumpsuit.

Man, is he a whale.
posted by koeselitz at 3:02 PM on January 15, 2007


Rememer, fat is relative: Fat in one subgroup is not in another.

That's what a girl with "a really pretty face" would say.


Troll.
Where's that killfile again?
posted by Listener at 3:11 PM on January 15, 2007


Running away as fast as it can.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:12 PM on January 15, 2007


koeselitz, he's just retaining water.
posted by cortex at 3:13 PM on January 15, 2007


Jack Bauer at the buffet is funny, though.


Serendipity, Batman! I just stumbled across another Jack Bauer buffet reference in a TVGasm 24 recap (end of fourth paragraph).

This is clearly part of the zeitgeist and, therefore, somewhat acceptable.
posted by dhammond at 3:22 PM on January 15, 2007


Their extra fat makes them nice and slow so that when the apocalypse comes, they will be easy prey for the rest of us.

Fool. Come the apocalypse, the fat people will have their vital organs protected from deadly alpha radiation, while the skinny will rot away rapidly, vile and cancerous, during the ensuing global food shortage.

*Deep-fries another Mars Bar*
posted by Jimbob at 3:48 PM on January 15, 2007


the skinny will rot away rapidly, vile and cancerous, during the ensuing global food shortage.

Oh, dear.

(ah, just as well. I'll be dead of cirrhosis, lung cancer or a freak can opener accent long before the apocalypse, anyway)
posted by jonmc at 4:00 PM on January 15, 2007


I can't understand a thing you're saying with that freak can opener accent.
posted by found missing at 4:01 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


[NOT APPLIANCIST]
posted by cortex at 4:23 PM on January 15, 2007


I think we're getting away from the central arguement here people: loquacious is right. Buffets are AWESOME. I'm fucking skinny and people hate me a lot, but I fucking stand by buffets, man. Especially the ones that have both lobster and eclairs. Put the eclair on the lobster, man. Do it.
posted by Football Bat at 4:44 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yeah, but buffet eclairs are always such a letdown.
posted by cortex at 4:53 PM on January 15, 2007


Koeselitz, I know that guy, he's full of shit.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 4:56 PM on January 15, 2007


kimdog: "Hate the sin, not the sinner.

And the fact that you consider fat a sin is the problem. Thanks for the moralizing.
"

Hate the parts of analogy, metaphor, simile, and aphorisms that make it different than repeating the situation in perhaps a slightly different tone of voice is what I always say.*

*Actually I don't always say it. I don't mean to imply that I am am never not saying that, because in fact, often I am not.
posted by 31d1 at 5:04 PM on January 15, 2007


I fucking stand by buffets, man.

Stop fucking standing and start serving yourself already. There's a line forming.
posted by jonmc at 6:01 PM on January 15, 2007 [1 favorite]


The end of the line is over there, bub. I'm making a pancake salad.
posted by loquacious at 6:07 PM on January 15, 2007


I am putting butter and maple syrup on my pancakes - damn this will make me fat.
posted by caddis at 6:50 PM on January 15, 2007


oh wait, too late
posted by caddis at 6:50 PM on January 15, 2007


I'm in the Buffett line behind Warren and Jimmy.

Damn. Wrong line.
posted by wendell at 8:22 PM on January 15, 2007


If we ever get invaded, I'm gonna join the Guards.
The Sneeze Guards.
posted by Dizzy at 8:41 PM on January 15, 2007


Thanks, atp for this callout, though all the subsequent ridiculous comments have reminded me how far we are from any kind of progress on this front. Depressing.
posted by wemayfreeze at 8:53 PM on January 15, 2007


all the subsequent ridiculous comments have reminded me how far we are from any kind of progress on this front. Depressing.

Ah yes, the ol War on Terror Finding Humorous Things to Say in the Physical Attributes of Others, All in Good Fun (TWoFHTtSitPAoOAiGF).

::tsk tsk::
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 9:52 PM on January 15, 2007


I'm fucking skinny and people hate me a lot ...
posted by Football Bat at 4:44 PM PST on January 15


People are just jealous cuz that Skinny is so hot.

Of course, you two should really get out of the buffet line and get a room before you start that kind of thing.
posted by diddlegnome at 11:05 PM on January 15, 2007


So, should I declaw my fat, circumsized dopefiend cat, or what?

Please, loquacious, MetaFilter just doesn't do dopefiend cats very well.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:04 AM on January 16, 2007




Anyone want to talk about circumcision?
posted by psmealey at 4:19 AM on January 16, 2007


I'd like to talk about grandfather clocks.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:07 AM on January 16, 2007


Meatbomb:
You know who liked big-boned gals?
Seth Thomas.
posted by Dizzy at 7:58 AM on January 16, 2007


BANGKOK, Thailand - Chuang Chuang the Panda is just too heavy to have sex. Thai authorities have put him on a strict diet as part of a long-running campaign to get him to mate with female partner Lin Hui at the Chiang Mai Zoo in northern Thailand.

"Chuang Chuang is gaining weight too fast and we found Lin Hui is no longer comfortable with having sex with him," said the zoo's chief veterinarian, Kanika Limtrakul, adding that Chuang Chuang weighed 331 pounds while Lin Hui is only 253 pounds.

As a result, zoo authorities are cutting out bamboo shoots in the daily meal for Chuang Chuang and giving the obese bear only bamboo leaves, Kanika said.
posted by dreamsign at 9:06 AM on January 16, 2007


Chuang Chuang is gaining weight too fast and we found Lin Hui is no longer comfortable with having sex with him

Maybe they should teach them reverse cowgirl position, rather than allowing him to continue to rely on the pile driver.
posted by Flem Snopes at 9:39 AM on January 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm strangely aroused by that image, Flem.
I'm rounding up Hershey bars, nylons, my Little Red Book, and heading to the zoo.
Please advise.
posted by Dizzy at 11:45 AM on January 16, 2007


eyeballkid: Fatties. ~chuckle~

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.
posted by dejah420 at 3:51 PM on January 16, 2007


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