Contentious? Please explain...

March 15, 2007 10:07 AM

My post early this morning was deleted because cortex says "What, was the previous thread that you linked not contentious or web-unrelated enough?"
posted by jesirose to Etiquette/Policy at 10:07 AM (252 comments total)

I'm not quite sure what this means. The first thread I linked to was certainly web-related, it was about E-Cards. How is that not web-related. Secondly, I wasn't aware they even had to be web related. The FAQ says

"A good post to MetaFilter is something that meets the following criteria: most people haven't seen it before, there is something interesting about the content on the page, and it might warrant discussion from others."

There was plenty I found interesting about my links, and it certainly DID warrant discussion, as there were plenty of comments. In fact, contentious apparently means to inspire debate, so how can a post that warrants discussion not be contentious?

I'm really not sure what was so wrong with my post that it deserved to be deleted. I was responding to the earlier post about the e-cards, and providing actual groups that provide REAL ways for women and men to get post-abortion support, instead of just stupid "e-cards". Since it was my first post, I'm sure I did something wrong, but could someone explain to me what it was in a way that makes sense?

The thread.
posted by jesirose at 10:08 AM on March 15, 2007

The way to respond to earlier posts is in the comments of those earlier posts. Starting a new post about it is, in almost every case, a mistake.
posted by koeselitz at 10:14 AM on March 15, 2007

I was responding to the earlier post about the e-cards

You should have posted your links as a comment in that thread.
posted by amro at 10:14 AM on March 15, 2007

some crazy on the grey. name of my next album.
posted by Stynxno at 10:15 AM on March 15, 2007

Also, [more inside] is your friend.
posted by amro at 10:15 AM on March 15, 2007

but seriously, you were posting a topic that was covered not that long ago. post followups in that thread. starting a new thread means your new thread is gonna get deleted.

but the new thread could mean more crazy on the blue. oo. double album.
posted by Stynxno at 10:16 AM on March 15, 2007

I mean, imagine what the front page of Metafilter might look like if it were a collection of new posts responding to the posts from yesterday. No discussion would really work at all, because you couldn't really keep them all straight, and commenters in the first thread on a topic wouldn't know if they belonged in the first thread, the second, thread, or what.

The sort-of-guideline seems to be this: one open post per topic. Since lines are blurry, and it's hard to differentiate sometimes, this guideline is difficult; but the point is to avoid muddying discussion and the front page.
posted by koeselitz at 10:17 AM on March 15, 2007

jesirose, it was being flagged heavily; the only thing in the post that was novel and web-related was the e-card site that had just, as you noted, been posted; and the thread was turning rather badly into Yet Another Mefi Abortion Trainwreck.

Abortion isn't a topic we're really hurting for excuses to discuss: a quick search shows at least 15 posts this year that talk about abortion, and about 150 since day one. And that's not counting any that have been deleted.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:19 AM on March 15, 2007

You linked to another MeFi thread that is still on the front page without adding any substantially new twist.
posted by sbutler at 10:19 AM on March 15, 2007

You should make your next post on something everyone agrees on, like circumcising cats.
posted by Mister_A at 10:20 AM on March 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

Every time I respond in a comment, it seems like I'm the last person. No one ever responds back. That's why I started a new thread. If that was the big problem, that makes sense. The reason cortex gave for deleting it was not just that there was a previous thread, but that it was "contentious and web-unrelated", so that confused me. Makes more sense if it's just that it should have been as a comment on the other thread. :/

amro - how do I do more inside on a meta talk post?
posted by jesirose at 10:20 AM on March 15, 2007

Fixed the More Inside issue. Metatalk doesn't have that like the blue and the green do. As a workaround, it's best generally to write up your post as a brief summary and an additional first comment, to be copied and pasted as soon as you've made the initial post.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:22 AM on March 15, 2007

sbutler - I thought I was adding actually useful links. The e-cards aren't something anyone is going to use. The support sources I linked to could actually help people. I know they have. I thought that was enough new information. Apparently I was wrong.

I was trying to make a post about support resources on the web, not the actual topic of abortion and whether it should be allowed. It seems like that's what it was taken as - just an "abortion-related" post. I was trying to make it about the fact that there are real support sites on the web.
posted by jesirose at 10:22 AM on March 15, 2007

You write "More Inside" in your post, and then post the rest as the first comment.
posted by OmieWise at 10:23 AM on March 15, 2007

Every time I respond in a comment, it seems like I'm the last person. No one ever responds back.

YOU ARE NOT A UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE, HOLMES. The dog never says anything back when I talk to her and yet I continue to talk to her rather than go get a new dog every time one fails to respond to my trenchant observations with a golf clap and a "Well played, sir!"
posted by yerfatma at 10:23 AM on March 15, 2007 [18 favorites]

Thanks cortex :) And thank you for explaining in more detail.

Feel free to delete this now ;)
posted by jesirose at 10:23 AM on March 15, 2007

And jesirose, I'm sorry if the deletion reason was too terse. The existence of the previous thread, linked in my reason, is pretty standard shorthand around here for "hey, this was just posted recently", but I realize that may seem a bit inside baseball if you're newish. Paragraphs-long deletion reasons don't seem like a great idea for a lot of reasons, however.

Getting to a conversation late is a bummer, but "oh and another thing" serial posts are pretty seriously discouraged, as people have been conveying here.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:25 AM on March 15, 2007

I'm kinda sad that it got deleted, because it was fun and keeping me from killing myself at work this morning (although Peggle managed to save my afternoon). Ahhh well. Maybe sukiari will come in here to continue the debate! :)
posted by antifuse at 10:26 AM on March 15, 2007

Also, starting your post with something like "35 percent of American women will have an abortion by the age of 45" means that people will take your post as being "about abortion", not "about support resources on the web". Hint - put the support resources first if that's what you want people to read about/talk about.
posted by antifuse at 10:30 AM on March 15, 2007

I thought I was adding actually useful links. The e-cards aren't something anyone is going to use.

Metafilter isn't a support group (okay, maybe ask.metafilter is), as such, it should ideally be links to interesting and exciting things on the web (in a perfect world, people would link to "The best of the web"), not really things people might find useful. Doubly so if its abortion, as posting abortion related things on the internet is to trolls as honey is to flys.
posted by drezdn at 10:30 AM on March 15, 2007

antifuse & drezdn - points taken, thanks!
cortex - no worries :) It just confused me, as I said.
posted by jesirose at 10:32 AM on March 15, 2007

Don't close the thread! We can fill it with ascii art of Brutus stabbing Caesar
posted by fair_game at 10:33 AM on March 15, 2007

Also note that MetaFilter is not primarily a debate/discussion site, so "contentious=good" is not a valid equation in MetaMath. Some people disagree on that issue, but they are fucking goofy. Poor Goofy.
posted by Mister_A at 10:33 AM on March 15, 2007

Can goofy have an abortion?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:37 AM on March 15, 2007

No, but if Mrs. Goofy does, they can both find support on the web :-P
posted by jesirose at 10:41 AM on March 15, 2007

jesirose: "Every time I respond in a comment, it seems like I'm the last person. No one ever responds back."

Well, you're getting responses now. Success!
posted by Plutor at 10:43 AM on March 15, 2007

I've no research to back me up here, but I estimate that 98.6% of all posts that link to another post still on the front page will be deleted.
posted by Otis at 10:48 AM on March 15, 2007

Metafilter needs a new subsite, some place other than metatalk, where users whose messages have been unfairly deleted can post their complaints. And the background color should be invisible, and so should the text color.
posted by Dave Faris at 10:49 AM on March 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

I always assume having no one respond means that my comment was so startlingly insightful, so crushingly decisive, so... so... The Last Fuckin' Word, for lack of a more delicate term, that no one else wants, nay can, bring anything more to the table, as it is already sagging beneath the weight of the shimmering cornucopia of words, thought, humanity and anchor tags that are my comments.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:50 AM on March 15, 2007 [7 favorites]

oof! get the fuck off me!
posted by Dave Faris at 10:53 AM on March 15, 2007

People read the comments?
posted by Burhanistan at 10:54 AM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

98.6% of all posts that link to another post still on the front page will be deleted.

That's about right.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 10:57 AM on March 15, 2007

People read the comments?

I actually just come to metafilter to stare at the calming blue background.

Then sometimes I accidentally read the site, completely destroying any sense of calm created.
posted by drezdn at 11:01 AM on March 15, 2007

"Every time I respond in a comment, it seems like I'm the last person. No one ever responds back."

jesirose - there's a whole sub section of the MeFite population that would love to get the last word in. Consider yourself lucky.
posted by FlamingBore at 11:01 AM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Haha! I came to comment almost the exact same thing as Alvy! Last comment means you WIN!
posted by klangklangston at 11:04 AM on March 15, 2007

does anyone read the posts down here?
posted by caddis at 11:05 AM on March 15, 2007

ironically, the thread was aborted
posted by matteo at 11:07 AM on March 15, 2007

ok, here we go... LAST POST!
posted by blue_beetle at 11:08 AM on March 15, 2007

ZIPPITY BOP!

I actually just come to metafilter to stare at the calming blue background.

Ah, yes.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:08 AM on March 15, 2007

*pours honey on caddis's fly*
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:12 AM on March 15, 2007

Thank you Kirth, but really it stopped feeding after its larval stage.
posted by caddis at 11:27 AM on March 15, 2007

a quick search shows at least 15 posts this year that talk about abortion, and about 150 since day one. And that's not counting any that have been deleted aborted.
posted by quonsar at 11:32 AM on March 15, 2007

I'm just peeved because my beautiful snowflake comment has disappeared into the ether of jesirose's deleted thread, never to be read again. I mean, I can't exactly trot it out the next time abortion comes up, can I? Why, god, why?!?

Oh, wait. I guess I can.
posted by anotherpanacea at 11:33 AM on March 15, 2007

damn you matteo!
posted by quonsar at 11:33 AM on March 15, 2007

jesirose posted "Secondly, I wasn't aware they even had to be web related. The FAQ says 'A good post to MetaFilter is something that meets the following criteria: most people haven't seen it before, there is something interesting about the content on the page, and it might warrant discussion from others.'"

What was it you thought we were filtering?

Sukiari comparing sex education to Warhammer 40K was golden though. Hard to imagine cooler parents than those that would teach you both (though not at the same time).

jesirose writes "The e-cards aren't something anyone is going to use."

I think you under estimate the diversity of not only the membership but also the non member readership.
posted by Mitheral at 11:42 AM on March 15, 2007

You know what I like to do with abortions?





Top my pancakes.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 12:08 PM on March 15, 2007

What about the non-reader membership, eh? I would also suggest that jesirose underestimates not just the diversity, but also the perversity of said memberships and non-memberships.
posted by Mister_A at 12:10 PM on March 15, 2007

Ha! From the most recently deleted post:

This is just iraq bukkake -- mathowie
posted by Burhanistan at 12:28 PM on March 15, 2007

There are many of us in the History of MetaFilter who have considered ourselves "thread killers", myself included. But once I discovered the value of getting The Last Word, and started to do it intentionally, my supernatural discussion-stopping powers disappeared. A watched pot or something.
posted by wendell at 12:29 PM on March 15, 2007

I would also suggest that jesirose underestimates what she owes in Federal taxes for 2006. Seriously, jesirose - I think your latest calculations are off. Now can we all just go back to harvesting the stem cells from this morning's post? I'm pretty sure we can grow them into a giant asshat to protect the entire site from the deadly UV rays of future radioactive thread leakage.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:36 PM on March 15, 2007

Yea that is awesome Burhanistan.
posted by Mister_A at 12:37 PM on March 15, 2007

*doffs medium-sized asshat*
posted by Mister_A at 12:37 PM on March 15, 2007

This is just iraq bukkake -- mathowie

shouldn't it read "iraq buqqaqe"?
posted by matteo at 12:45 PM on March 15, 2007

Iraq Buqqaqe thread.

MetaTalk is a little crazy today
posted by Mister_A at 12:53 PM on March 15, 2007

Can goofy have an abortion?

Only if he makes that "Waaaaaa hoo hoooeeeeeeee" noise he makes whenever he falls off a cliff when they stick the needle in.

Oh come on. Actually think about it and tell me you didn't laugh.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:54 PM on March 15, 2007

Can goofy have an abortion?

It's goofy time!
posted by Rhomboid at 1:00 PM on March 15, 2007

jesirose posted "Secondly, I wasn't aware they even had to be web related. The FAQ says 'A good post to MetaFilter is something that meets the following criteria: most people haven't seen it before, there is something interesting about the content on the page, and it might warrant discussion from others.'"

What was it you thought we were filtering?

Things on/from the web, not ABOUT the web.
posted by tristeza at 1:08 PM on March 15, 2007

Things on/from the web, not ABOUT the web.

"The best of the web that is about the web", would be more meta and more of a filter than MetaFilter
posted by DanielDManiel at 1:46 PM on March 15, 2007

Mister_A writes "What about the non-reader membership, eh?"

I thought it would go without saying that non-readers aren't going to follow any links from the front page, e-card or otherwise.
posted by Mitheral at 1:54 PM on March 15, 2007

You know what I hate? I hate when I have typed up a comment, and I try to post it, but the thread closed 6 minutes earlier. I hate that enough that I was going to email cortex, instead I'm just gonna complain here. What's the use of admins who have no psychic capabilities whatsoever, and kill the thread before my well-reasoned and insightful comment?

Jesirose, your post was not inflammatory. The post is sort of interesting, and written in a calm manner, not designed to be flamebait. But abortion is the polarizing topic, and almost never discussed without turning into a trainwreck. Sukiari is a classic troll, making inflammatory statements, and coming back repeatedly to make more.

I'd love to see an abortion discussion with mods fiercely killing flames, trolls, ad hominem attacks, etc. There would only be 3 comments left, though.
posted by theora55 at 2:03 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I just wanted to express my happy amazement at all the kind and useful responses jesirose got in this thread. I've never seen you guys so willing to help a new person understand the vagaries of Mefi. Good work.
posted by vytae at 2:32 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

In case you want additional reasons for why that sort of post doesn't/shouldn't last long... Check out the newest metatalk thread.
posted by drezdn at 2:57 PM on March 15, 2007

"Sukiari comparing sex education to Warhammer 40K was golden though. Hard to imagine cooler parents than those that would teach you both (though not at the same time)."

They do call me the golden boy. Well, Kintaro was my name in Japanese class anyway.

Seriously, though, I can see many similarities. Warhammer is complicated and has lots of rules. Getting into the sack with somebody is complicated and has lots of rules. Warhammer 40K is a game based on random throws of the die, coupled with strategy and foresight, much like sex and pregnancy. And Warhammer 40K is about punishing the squats, just as abortion is about punishing the sluts, right?

I thought we were supposed to take the random meaningless bullshit to Metatalk. I was shut down here too. Off to usenet?
posted by Sukiari at 3:14 PM on March 15, 2007

As far as me being a troll, I'm not really. My comment just indicated that I thought it'd be likely that nobody would be able to discuss the topic, but instead would just scream HE'S A WITCH and chase me around the village.
posted by Sukiari at 3:24 PM on March 15, 2007

Goddammit, cortex, you closed this down just when I was getting my hopes up for a flameout. Now, just step back, willya?

*hands Sukiari a chainsaw, runs to get folding chair, beer*
posted by languagehat at 3:28 PM on March 15, 2007

I thought we were supposed to take the random meaningless bullshit to Metatalk. I was shut down here too.

You've got it a bit backwards: Metatalk is just the least inappropriate place to take site-related griping. Random meaningless bullshit is still random meaningless bullshit, and when you present it with the kind of off-the-rails provacative tone that your name-dropping screed embodied, you're well out of Useful Discussion territory. Let it lie.

Off to usenet?

Or your own blog, sure.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:29 PM on March 15, 2007

Chainfist, languagehat, chainfist. I want to try to keep all my comments relevant to abortion, spuosal abuse AND Warhammer 40,000 if possible.
posted by Sukiari at 3:30 PM on March 15, 2007

Could you do me a personal favor and keep all your comments constrained to not stirring shit up for a bit? I'd genuinely appreciate it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:31 PM on March 15, 2007 [4 favorites]

And cortex, I have often seen people being told to 'take it to Metatalk' when they are igniting a thread (by accident or by choice). I suppose it's supports my theory that Metatalk and Metafilter are places where only officially sanctioned viewpoints are allowed.
posted by Sukiari at 3:32 PM on March 15, 2007

BTW, I try to keep a pretty good blend of genuine comments, pithy one liners, and remarks designed to deflate self important knobs. I paid my $5. I doubt if I've even used $0.30 of your bandwidth / storage as of yet.
posted by Sukiari at 3:34 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I have often seen people being told to 'take it to Metatalk' when they are igniting a thread

Metatalk is recommended when a thread is being derailed or turning into a flame war. It's not for continuing a flame war, that you started, in a thread that's been vaporized.

If you seriously think that the mods here only let "officially sanctioned viewpoints" you're either new, or have your head so far up your ass you can taste your fillings.
posted by supercrayon at 3:36 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, it's mostly the "not posting giant inflammatory flamebait paragraphs" thing that we take issue with. 'Take it to metatalk' does not mean 'take it to Metatalk and make it crrrrrAAZY'.

If you want to talk moderation policy or social taboos, you can try a bit harder to not piss off every possible respondant in the process. Your post was sheer, unmitigated awfulness, and if you are unfamiliar enough with Metatalk that you can't see why it was doomed, you need to delve into the archives some.

Metatalk may be the place where most of the shit gets slung, but it's not actually a purpose-built shit-slinging pit. Please do not try to make it one.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:37 PM on March 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

*drags chair and snacks over to his thread*
posted by amyms at 3:39 PM on March 15, 2007

"And cortex, I have often seen people being told to 'take it to Metatalk' when they are igniting a thread (by accident or by choice). I suppose it's supports my theory that Metatalk and Metafilter are places where only officially sanctioned viewpoints are allowed."

Help, help, I'm being oppressed!

I love the strain of thought that postulates that being shouted down comes from not understanding the brilliance of the unpopular opinion being voiced, rather than the abject retardo nature of the viewpoint.
posted by klangklangston at 3:44 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I guess I must plead ignorance on this one too. But if you read the comments in the original closed fpp, you'd see that I wasn't really trying to ignite a flame war. I prognosticated one, likening it to the sort of BS responses that one can expect when dealing with topics that are too holy to discuss or understand. You will see that I was not the one flaming - I didn't accuse anybody of being unable to get laid, or anything of the sort. I just was trying to figure out where free will fits in with pregnancy, abortion and spousal abuse.
posted by Sukiari at 3:45 PM on March 15, 2007

What's retarded about being unable to understand why a woman would get an abortion unless it was a last chance sort of thing? What's retarded about trying to discover if a woman who stays with an abusive spouse has free will?

You clearly don't have anything relevant to say, so let's just call me a retardo and be done with it, right?
posted by Sukiari at 3:47 PM on March 15, 2007

And amyms, I brought some ice cold Czechvar and some organic salsa and tortilla chips. They're in the cooler in the back my rusty truck - you know, the one with the confederate flag on the door and the vanity plate that reads WITCH.
posted by Sukiari at 3:49 PM on March 15, 2007

being shouted down comes from not understanding the brilliance of the unpopular opinion being voiced, rather than the abject retardo nature of the viewpoint.
To be fair, either could be the case on mefi.
But, Sukiari, I think you should realise that some issues are to contentious for it to be possible to get the last word. Let it go.
posted by jouke at 3:54 PM on March 15, 2007

But if you read the comments in the original closed fpp, you'd see that I wasn't really trying to ignite a flame war. I prognosticated one, likening it to the sort of BS responses that one can expect when dealing with topics that are too holy to discuss or understand.

Sukiari, your second sentence contradicts your first. People who don't want to start flamewars should not be intentionally provocative in threads about known hot-button issues.

It's hard not to see your position on your own behavior, and the likely results thereof, as either out-of-touch or disingenous; a quick stroll through your comment history reveals more than one thread where you've played more or less the same game with the same set of cards, so it feels more like the latter than the former.

I don't know what kind of moonjuice the site is steeping in today, but it's been kind of nuts today and you are doing pretty much the opposite of helping.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:55 PM on March 15, 2007

Yeah, a bunch of hackneyed premises stitched together like a sewer mutant's prom dress, combined with a debating style most often seen in contrarian high schoolers (comparing yourself with Socrates, oh, you card), and it's everyone else's fault for not digging on the science you're dropping. THEY'RE PERSECUTING YOU FOR YOUR BRAVERY AND HONESTY.

Nothin' retardo time-cube about that, no siree. (And remember— if someone insults you after you go out of your way to position yourself as both ignorant and inflamatory, it's because they have nothing better to say. YOU WIN THE INTERNETS!)
posted by klangklangston at 3:59 PM on March 15, 2007

Oh, and getting all fuckin' delmoi on the threads doesn't help you seem level-headed and rational.
posted by klangklangston at 4:00 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

No, you are persecuting me because I don't automatically just accept the gospel knowledge on abortion or spousal abuse. I was simply trying to understand where free will fits in, and if it's possible to have free will when driving, and not when being beaten or having sex. You know, the practical application of a philosophical subject. Do you have an opinion on the subject, or since I am an evil heartless retard does it excuse you from having anything but venom?
posted by Sukiari at 4:06 PM on March 15, 2007

Sukiari writes "I was simply trying to understand where free will fits in"
But many of the rest of us just see you as taunting provocatively - and that's without getting into the subject - and we object to this kind of behaviour. Please don't do it.
posted by peacay at 4:08 PM on March 15, 2007

Off to usenet?

Yeah, why don't you take this discussion over to soc.my.dick? And crosspost it to rec.tum while you're at it?

(I kid... I'm all about spousal abuse!)
posted by staggernation at 4:09 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Completely off-topic (but I don't want to start a MeTa because I'm pretty sure cortex will delete it).

Does anyone else here think that cortex has taken this "mod" thing way too literally and has taken to having a far heavier hand than is required around here?
posted by SeizeTheDay at 4:17 PM on March 15, 2007

Bardic was right.
posted by jouke at 4:21 PM on March 15, 2007

SeizeTheDay; I wouldn't say "far heavier hand" but it does seem a little much. Now the Sukiari mess has spilled into another thread when cortex could have let it all ignite and combust in one. Oh well. Pass the milk duds please, i'm out of pop-corn.
posted by dazed_one at 4:21 PM on March 15, 2007

So this is where that popcorn smell was originating.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 4:22 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I tried to refrain from posting that. I felt it was socially inappropriate. But I had no free will.
Please 'abort' my comment, Cortex.
posted by jouke at 4:23 PM on March 15, 2007

I suppose it's the same as the Mohammed cartoons from last year. Free speech is fine as long as you don't feel free to use it freely.
posted by Sukiari at 4:25 PM on March 15, 2007

I've taken a far heavier hand than I'd prefer, but that's pretty much coming down to closing a couple threads spiraling into crazy shittiness. Matt did the deleting, including the "Cortex the Destroyer" thread that I know of only by reputation, as it apparently came and went in the time it takes me to walk home from work.

Is the implication that we should have had a couple of great big raging shitfests instead? Or tried to kluge a timeout button for Sukiari, despite not having been asked to do that sort of thing by Matt?

It's been a weird and mildly frustrating afternoon. In the ideal metafilter world, this kind of crap would even occur, and the question wouldn't come up.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:27 PM on March 15, 2007

would not, natch.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:28 PM on March 15, 2007

MetaFilter: Nothin' retardo time-cube about that, no siree.
posted by Rhomboid at 4:28 PM on March 15, 2007

Thank god criticizing islam is not a contentious issue on mefi.

You have a talent for this Sukiari.
posted by jouke at 4:32 PM on March 15, 2007

"Cortex the Destroyer"? Interrobang should sooo make that into a comic!
posted by deborah at 4:41 PM on March 15, 2007

Everytime I read the words "Cortex the Destroyer" I hear music.
posted by dazed_one at 4:44 PM on March 15, 2007

Sukiari writes "Free speech is fine as long as you don't feel free to use it freely."

It's not free - it costs $5 - and this is a private web forum which requires some semblance of behavioural restraint. You are choosing to make excessively provocative statements in order to goad people into responding. You obviously have a lot invested in this and it seems that it makes you quite upset. Perhaps you should think about going outside, maybe to the pub, and shouting your free willy speech for some contrasting reactions.
posted by peacay at 4:50 PM on March 15, 2007

What, are you suggesting I will get beaten up? That's unlikely. A more likely outcome would be a demonstration of the practical application of legally concealed handguns.

I forgot the First Amendment to the Constitution: "The right of the people to go through life without hearing anything offensive to them shall not be infringed."
posted by Sukiari at 4:55 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

A more likely outcome would be a demonstration of the practical application of legally concealed handguns.


lol. Careful, he's packin' heat.
posted by dazed_one at 4:57 PM on March 15, 2007

Well, this is proceeding nicely.
posted by nevercalm at 4:59 PM on March 15, 2007

Shush.

Do you hear that wooshing sound?

It's the banhammer wildly being swung. They're practicing.

And they're coming for you.
posted by jouke at 5:00 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is it a legally concealed banhammer?
posted by dazed_one at 5:01 PM on March 15, 2007

If it's being swung it can hardly be concealed, can it now, dazed_... oh, right.
posted by jouke at 5:05 PM on March 15, 2007

It just seems to me to be kind of childish to suggest that people you disagree with should get beaten up. I don't believe anybody has the right to beat me up, and I am willing to back that up if absolutely necessary. I'm really a fun loving jovial fellow in real life. Just don't assault me.
posted by Sukiari at 5:06 PM on March 15, 2007

...or he'll threaten to kill you.
posted by nevercalm at 5:10 PM on March 15, 2007

Jesus christ, no one was threatening you. Put it to bed, would you?
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:12 PM on March 15, 2007

So lets see, issues touched on so far include: free speech, concealed weapons, spousal abuse, biased and/or over-moderation, abortion, and islam. Circumcision, suvs, declawing your cats and fatties ftw?

Cause all I'm saying is that my Durango-driving de-clawed Siamese wants to get circumcised. He thinks it'll make him look thinner.
posted by supercrayon at 5:12 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I wouldn't ever threaten to kill a person. I would just draw and shoot, in one continuous motion. And only if somebody was attempting to do bodily harm to me.

And I think peacay was indeed suggesting that I deserve a beating for my views.
posted by Sukiari at 5:17 PM on March 15, 2007

Um, no, I don't think he was.
posted by Big_B at 5:18 PM on March 15, 2007

Good morning. I just woke up and haven't read this thread yet.

I knew from the very get-go that your thread was going to be deleted. In fact, I wrote out a comment that said 'You've got to be fucking kidding', thought that wasn't very constructive, changed it to 'This might have been better in the currently open thread', (both of which would have been the first comment), then just flagged the thread 'other' (should be some better flagging categories, yo), and moved on. It was so obviously a bad idea that I suggest you're not really getting Metafilter yet.

But that's all been covered, so no need to harangue, I suppose.

Now, moving on to Sukiari: ha! Speaking of not getting Metafilter, hoooeeee! You are precious. Keep going, this is good stuff. (Not a serious request to keep going: 'good stuff' here means 'making an ass of yourself')

On preview, you don't deserve a beating for your views, but you do deserve a vigorous mocking for being such a doofus.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:19 PM on March 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Hahaha, I did laugh out loud Sukiari. That seldom happens to me from reading mefi.
Thank you for making my insomnia vigil more bearable.
posted by jouke at 5:19 PM on March 15, 2007

My first sentence was a lie. I actually did go and read the thread before hitting submit, then forgot to delete that one.

Mock me, for I am also a doofus!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:20 PM on March 15, 2007

Nobody is objecting to your views, shooter. It's your personality that's drawing all the fire.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:20 PM on March 15, 2007

I'm glad somebody besides myself is amused by all this.
posted by Sukiari at 5:20 PM on March 15, 2007

Hell of a thing, killin' a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.
posted by popechunk at 5:21 PM on March 15, 2007

If you guys would be patient I have a little surprise post coming in the next couple of days (hint: it involves poor people being fat).
posted by geoff. at 5:21 PM on March 15, 2007

Do they get abortions?
posted by graventy at 5:25 PM on March 15, 2007

It's not free - it costs $5 - and this is a private web forum which requires some semblance of behavioural restraint. You are choosing to make excessively provocative statements in order to goad people into responding. You obviously have a lot invested in this and it seems that it makes you quite upset. Perhaps you should think about going outside, maybe to the pub, and shouting your free willy speech for some contrasting reactions.

I see you have synaesthesia. My apologies. Do you get the colour thing too or just the bold?
posted by peacay at 5:25 PM on March 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

So you are going to pretend that your meaning was not "Go to a pub, tell people your views, and get your ass beaten because it's not possible for an ass beating to be distributed over the internet."
posted by Sukiari at 5:30 PM on March 15, 2007

Sounds to me like he was telling you to go outside and get some fresh air and human contact before you totally lose your mind.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 5:34 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Saying "get stuffed" rarely implies a threat. (unless the speaker is Buffalo Bill)
I read the pub comment as such.

peacay, stop it. I won't be able to sleep when I'm laughing.
posted by jouke at 5:35 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: I just woke up and haven't read this thread yet.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:38 PM on March 15, 2007

"On preview, you don't deserve a beating for your views, but you do deserve a vigorous mocking for being such a doofus."

Do you have anything to add besides venom, Stav?

"So you are going to pretend that your meaning was not "Go to a pub, tell people your views, and get your ass beaten because it's not possible for an ass beating to be distributed over the internet.""

"And then they told me to fuck myself, which clearly means some sort of self-rape!"
posted by klangklangston at 5:44 PM on March 15, 2007

I just woke up and haven't read this thread yet.

Obviously you aren't hardcore. I'm having mefi comments read to me by my browser while I'm asleep.
Fat ladies, guns, islam, beatings, sea elephants; I wake up in a sweat.
This comment is just my sleeping cortex reacting through the attached wires.

Weeee, I'm flying.
posted by jouke at 5:45 PM on March 15, 2007

You are Steven Seagal and I claim my £5.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 5:47 PM on March 15, 2007

in the time it takes me to walk home from work

Oh, so I'm supposed to let someone who can't afford a frickin' car moderate me now?
posted by staggernation at 5:53 PM on March 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Do you have anything to add besides venom, Stav?

Sorry? Calling someone a doofus is venomous? Crikey, you're a sensitive flower, ain'tcha?

Hint: if 'doofus' is an insult, it's a humorous, gently mocking one.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:01 PM on March 15, 2007

wait, the inevitable cortex backlash happened already and I missed it? And it was quickly permadeleted? That strikes me as pretty lame.
posted by Kwine at 6:03 PM on March 15, 2007

Sukiaki, you keep bringing up your "free speech" rights... Crying "free speech!" is the last bastion of truly self-deluded (and persecution-complex-suffering) internet denizens... No one here is infringing on your right to free speech, or your right to make an ass of yourself... The First Amendment applies to the government, not to private web forums...

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

See there? It says nothing about Metafilter self-policing its members or its content, nor does it prohibit the rest of us from mocking you for being a jerk.
posted by amyms at 6:05 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Starvos, I think you were being mocked for mincing your words.
posted by jouke at 6:06 PM on March 15, 2007

(I'd give klangklang some noogies here, but I'm afraid he might try to have me arrested for assault. Assault with venom!)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:06 PM on March 15, 2007

Mmmm, mince.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:07 PM on March 15, 2007

And, by Sukiaki, I meant Sukiari of course.
posted by amyms at 6:07 PM on March 15, 2007

Mmmm, sukiaki.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:08 PM on March 15, 2007

So you are going to pretend that your meaning was not "Go to a pub, tell people your views, and get your ass beaten because it's not possible for an ass beating to be distributed over the internet."

Actually, it was far more subtle than that. I think a paraphrase might be

"Oh MeFite friend, if you think your free speech 'rights' are absolute, why don't you try excercising them in OTHER places where what you call free speech other people call inapproriate speech (or where politeness is considered part of having to get along in society) -- especially places like the pub where they will be less civil about it then we are here -- and then contrast those experiences, the one at the pub and the one here, and then see if you still feel like making that free speech argument in exactly the same way, because I think you will find that the two experiences are very different."

I know it was a bit sublime, but I really think it's worth fully parsing.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:11 PM on March 15, 2007 [9 favorites]

I'm glad somebody besides myself is amused by all this.

Sukiari, have you considered chopping off your hand?
posted by quonsar at 6:15 PM on March 15, 2007 [3 favorites]

Does anyone else here think that cortex has taken this "mod" thing way too literally and has taken to having a far heavier hand than is required around here?

I think that the addition of an extra moderator has given people a mistaken impression. (1) It makes the site seem less like a benevloent dictatorship and more like a meritocracy, and (2) cortex' tolerance is being abused. I'm sure it'll settle down.

would not, natch.

--Although, the fact that apparently even cortex can't edit his comments does imply a certain fundamental equality in the MeFi universe.


This is a good thread: we need a rehash of the rules every once in a while. I predict that someday Sukiari and a few others will look back at this thread and cringe.
posted by spiderwire at 6:18 PM on March 15, 2007

SeizeTheDay writes "Does anyone else here think that cortex has taken this 'mod' thing way too literally and has taken to having a far heavier hand than is required around here?"

Who had 7 days in the pool?
posted by Mitheral at 6:18 PM on March 15, 2007

*benenevelollent

i am already looking back at this thread at cringing
posted by spiderwire at 6:20 PM on March 15, 2007

*and cring-- nevermind
posted by spiderwire at 6:20 PM on March 15, 2007

MetaFilter: No one ever responds back.
posted by Duncan at 6:22 PM on March 15, 2007

Now the Sukiari mess has spilled into another thread when cortex could have let it all ignite and combust in one.

Sometimes it is best to just let everyone vent, vent, vent, until they either get tired or flame out. I've got some popcorn, a beer and some John Zorn playing. This is a pretty good show right now, although sadly it looks like it's headed for exhaustion rather than flame out. Oh well. That's better, but less entertaining. Sukiari, if you really want to ignite the passions I suggest you start equating abortion with murder in this thread.
posted by caddis at 6:26 PM on March 15, 2007

caddis eats babies and has incorrect political views on a wide variety of topics!
posted by spiderwire at 6:28 PM on March 15, 2007

OH MY GOD A FLAMEOUT I AM SO EXCITED I'VE BEEN WAIIIIITTTTINNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!11eleventy

ps "retardo." Does that help?
posted by exlotuseater at 6:33 PM on March 15, 2007

fat retardo cocksmoking republican abortionist in an SUV.
posted by quonsar at 7:34 PM on March 15, 2007

circumcised, with a declawed cat.
posted by quonsar at 7:35 PM on March 15, 2007

"free will" is the refuge of those who take pleasure in being a spectator to others screwing up their lives because it helps them avoid observing how they have screwed up their own.

"free speech" is the refuge of those whose deepest desire is to yell "Fire" in a crowded theater and watch the ensuing panic but are too cowardly to do so.

And Suykiaki, or Sukiyari or Sukikoky or Subukkake, whatever is a good example of a "refugee".
posted by wendell at 7:36 PM on March 15, 2007

And ol' Suki has either already been Touched by a Banhammer or has slunk back into his trollhole promising to be an annoying asshole another day.
posted by wendell at 7:38 PM on March 15, 2007

HITLER!

Thanks, good night.
posted by Mister_A at 7:44 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

despite wendell's attempts to fan it back to life, this flameout thread rates a 6 of 10 at best.
posted by spiderwire at 8:03 PM on March 15, 2007

Metafilter has reached the point where posts could be deleted indiscriminately and no real harm would be done. There is an abundence of opinion and wit around here, a spillway of prose and participation, more yammering and shouting than can possibly be good for one's sanity.

Used to be a time one could expect to read all the posts in all the threads in any one day. Not so any longer. Indeed, using this site and remaining useful in other areas of life requires choosing to not participate more often than not.

Delete away, admins. We are all beyond hop now.
posted by five fresh fish at 8:35 PM on March 15, 2007

Holy shit, I have got to either stop working nights or get internet access at my job; this would have been just the thing to jumpstart me out of the MeTaSlump I've been in lately.
Damn.

*Leans against tree, watches sunrise, whispers "Tomorrow is another day."*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:43 PM on March 15, 2007

ABORTION = MURDER IF YOU ABORT YOUR BABY YOU GO STRAIGHT TO HELL, DO NOT PASS GO! IF YOU DISAGREE WITH THIS, YOU GO STRAIGHT TO HELL, DO NOT PASS GO! oh, and if you are not circumcised you will catch aids and go to hell. Please declaw your cat so that it does not spoil your nice furniture. Don't you think the H3 is a joke? The first Hummer was the best, and the second was so much more luxurious. Don't you think fat people should just eat less? duh. You, with the obnoxious child, why don't you just spank him? By the way, isn't Bill O'Reilly the bomb? Oh, I'm all verklempt, talk amongst yourselves.
posted by caddis at 9:09 PM on March 15, 2007

"Sorry? Calling someone a doofus is venomous? Crikey, you're a sensitive flower, ain'tcha?

Hint: if 'doofus' is an insult, it's a humorous, gently mocking one. "

It was in reference to "Do you have an opinion on the subject, or since I am an evil heartless retard does it excuse you from having anything but venom?" from Sudoku.
posted by klangklangston at 9:09 PM on March 15, 2007

My bad. Like I said, I'd just gotten up (which means sometime in the preceding couple of hours). You are not a sensitive flower, but I am still a doofus with limited brainpower and a slightly musky scent.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:12 PM on March 15, 2007

This whole thread is clearly leading towards a meetup. If we were to combine the parallel worlds of pubs and Metafilter, would the pub explode from the vast amounts of "free speech"?
posted by lilithim at 9:53 PM on March 15, 2007

And all this time I've been on the Green... the Grey is where the action is, yo!
posted by Phire at 10:27 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

That, my son, is your first step towards Metafilter Wisdom. Cherish this moment: it is a tale you will tell your grandchildren.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:45 PM on March 15, 2007

I like to poo!
posted by davy at 10:46 PM on March 15, 2007

And by 'son', I mean, of course, 'daughter'.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:46 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

I like to poo!

That, my son, is your first step towards Metafilter Wisdom. Cherish this moment: it is a tale you will tell your grandchildren.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:47 PM on March 15, 2007

"We are all beyond hop now."

But not skip & jump.
posted by davy at 10:47 PM on March 15, 2007

oof! get the fuck off me!

I'm not....oh. Never mind.
posted by oaf at 10:58 PM on March 15, 2007

I guess I missed the excitement.

By the way, no SUV, libertarian, and my penis is unmutilated.
posted by Sukiari at 11:12 PM on March 15, 2007

Uh, I came here for a witch burning?
posted by liquorice at 11:25 PM on March 15, 2007

By the way, no SUV, libertarian, and my penis is unmutilated.

And I suppose you're a spayed cat, too.

After today, I'm thinking maybe there should be a libertarian surcharge added to the membership fee. It could be called the troll bridge toll.
posted by y2karl at 11:39 PM on March 15, 2007

I am both amused and bemused that Sukiari's behavior is so utterly familiar and recognizable as a certain sort of 'net fuckwit. This year I've been online for a quarter century. There is nothing new under the Sun.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:52 PM on March 15, 2007

Everyone's a fuckwit on the internet. Especially you, o venerable one.
posted by Sukiari at 11:56 PM on March 15, 2007

Everyone's a fuckwit on the internet.

No, no, it's just you.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:59 PM on March 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Is it bad that I don't take any of you intertrolls any more seriously than you take me? Because, I really don't give a shit one way or the other. I seem to have ruffled a lot of feathers on a medium that is pretty much universally accepted to be something not to worry about.
posted by Sukiari at 12:05 AM on March 16, 2007

I'll see your libertarianism and unaltered penis (I don't mean see as in see, just as in call your bet) and raise you a fat guy who's had therapy and never owned a cat! No SUV, dood? I drive a 10-year-old 'compact stationwagon'! And I enjoy reading the writings of both Ben Stein and Garrison Keillor even when I disagree with either of them because they're not trolls (although they both look more trollish than the Average American). Where was I?

Oh yeah, I've been here at MetaFilter since Day 12 and seen a metric assload of crap that made my eyes roll back in my head and try to escape through my ears and you're still the most annoying thing here next to a jrun and I'd like to introduce you to Hobbette. I think you're made for each other.

Whew. I feel much better now. Ain't Free Speech grand?
posted by wendell at 12:10 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sorry I got so upset, but you've ruined Sudoku for me.
posted by wendell at 12:14 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

So it goes.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:16 AM on March 16, 2007

I have to admit, I've never quite figured out what libertarian means. It's so fashionable now-a-days, I figure I should join up. Does it mean you are really into celebrating the arrival of manhood? Or does it mean you're too much of a pussy to admit you are conservative? Either way, I think I'm down.
posted by team lowkey at 12:21 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

StolenRepurposed from here:

10 Things Sukiari and Hobbette Like To Do During Their Sleepovers...

1) Dress up in LOTR costumes and role play.

2) Bake triple mocha fudge brownies and eat them (Suki eats 3 brownies, Hobbette eats the rest of the pan).

3) Scheme and plan ways to get "stavros" [cute-ish tech guy whom Hobbette has a huge crush on] to notice Hobbette. Possible methods include thought waves, a Seventeen magazine inspired makeover, and trolling MetaFilter.

4) Call cortex, giggle into the receiver, and hang up.

5) Do each other's hair and try on one another's clothes.

6) Read to each other from their MySpace pages (which are pink and purple and have music from The Cure).

7) Sit on the couch together with a box of Kleenex between them and watch Mel Gibson movies.

8) Put on matching pajamas and have a tickle fight, then accuse each other of domestic abuse.

9) Play video games, and get into a hair-pulling match when Suki "accidentally" throws the Wii controller at Hobbette's hooha.

10) Solemnly promise to be best friends forever and never get abortions.
posted by wendell at 12:24 AM on March 16, 2007

It means I'm not a Democrat, not a Republican, and believe that the only reason the government exists is to keep you from fucking with me and to build the occasional road.

Basically, if every Democrat you meet thinks you are a Republican and vice-versa, you may be a Libertarian. And, abortions for all! Or none. Whatever you want.

I'm always down for a good ticklefight though.
posted by Sukiari at 12:30 AM on March 16, 2007

okay, 7 of 10, but in a sort of sadistic way.

give up while you're behind, dude
posted by spiderwire at 12:32 AM on March 16, 2007

christ, the banhammer would have been an act of mercy.
posted by spiderwire at 12:34 AM on March 16, 2007

No way. I'm having too much fun with you guys.

What will save you if the 'banhammer' fails to show up?
posted by Sukiari at 12:37 AM on March 16, 2007

"I have to admit, I've never quite figured out what libertarian means."

Internet self-identified "Libertarians" are American conservatives, inclined to contrariness, who are too timid to be anarchists. They typically have the intellectual rigor of a tomato.

They are usually very proud of the fact that they've shattered the one-dimensional paradigm of left/right and have embraced the revolutionary two-dimensional model of political affiliation. This exemplifies the severe limits of their imaginations.

"No way. I'm having too much fun with you guys."

"Come back here and take what's comin' to you. I'll bite your legs off!"
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 12:42 AM on March 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

Anarchy is not workable, because they inevitably turn into dictatorships. Whoever can get the biggest pickup full of old boys with shotguns wins in anarchy.

It is quite poorly thought out. The only anarchists I have ever met personally are perpetual victims. It would be much worse for them if there was nobody to protect their sorry (and often unemployed) asses.
posted by Sukiari at 12:50 AM on March 16, 2007

I don't think anybody has even attempted to address any of the points I brought up in the FPP this thread is related to. They just call me a 'tardo' because it's easier than thinking.
posted by Sukiari at 12:51 AM on March 16, 2007

To be clear, Sukiaki, you've hijacked jesirose's thread to repeat "points" from your earlier MetaTalk post that was already deleted. This post isn't about you, and wasn't meant to be a venue for you to demand satisfaction... but enjoy the limelight while you can, I guess.
posted by taz at 1:20 AM on March 16, 2007

They just call me a 'tardo' because it's easier than thinking.

classic! classic! may i kindly please direct your attention to:

Warhammer 40K is a game based on random throws of the die, coupled with strategy and foresight, much like sex and pregnancy.

is there a strategy guide?

I paid my $5. I doubt if I've even used $0.30 of your bandwidth / storage as of yet.

how beautifully precise!

introduction of 'retardo' into the discussion:

You clearly don't have anything relevant to say, so let's just call me a retardo and be done with it, right?

the abject retardo nature of the viewpoint

"your private website is robbin' me of my free speech!" / the intarweb is no big deal:

Free speech is fine as long as you don't feel free to use it freely.

I seem to have ruffled a lot of feathers on a medium that is pretty much universally accepted to be something not to worry about.

"i'm going to kill peacay" / something about gun control?:

What, are you suggesting I will get beaten up? That's unlikely. A more likely outcome would be a demonstration of the practical application of legally concealed handguns.

I wouldn't ever threaten to kill a person. I would just draw and shoot, in one continuous motion. And only if somebody was attempting to do bodily harm to me.

...wait, there's more!

what are you doing having sex without protection if you don't want to procreate?

methinks you're missing out on something.

And as far as children not being taught about condoms by their parents, that is a shame. But, my mom didn't teach me about Warhammer 40K. I picked it up on the outside.

noted without further comment.

And yeah, sluts are fine. Just like prudes are fine.

noted without further comment.

Got laid around noon. Happily married to a gorgeous and intelligent woman with free will.

you actually made me LOL all by myself here in the office at 3:36 AM. Thanks.

"i'm in the office at 3:30 AM" / "i got laid at noon by this totally hot chick?" rough life!

They do call me the golden boy. Well, Kintaro was my name in Japanese class anyway.

girls only like guys with skills!

more, more!
posted by spiderwire at 1:38 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

The only anarchists I have ever met personally are perpetual victims.
posted by Abiezer at 3:49 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

my foon has been totally borked.
posted by quonsar at 4:04 AM on March 16, 2007

Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others!

Sukiari: As far as me being a troll, I'm not really.

I'm sorry, but to say that this comment:

Sukiari: Abortion is about the worst form of birth control out there.

is not intentionally inflammatory is being severely disingenuous.
posted by antifuse at 4:13 AM on March 16, 2007

Rats! Show up late and all the good spots are gone!
Now I have to drag my beach chair, sun umbrella and cooler all the way back to the #$@!^776 car
posted by nj_subgenius at 4:14 AM on March 16, 2007

I paid my $5. I doubt if I've even used $0.30 of your bandwidth / storage as of yet.

Personally, I think any variant on this particular argument should merit an instant, no-questions-asked ban, and a refund.

The refund should have this approximate message: "We don't want your money. Go away."
posted by Malor at 4:46 AM on March 16, 2007 [6 favorites]

Retards. All of you.
posted by Dataphage at 5:36 AM on March 16, 2007

I think we're through here.

*fails to close thread, as he lacks any authority whatsoever*
posted by Kwine at 5:57 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, some are libertardians, thank you.
posted by y2karl at 5:58 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

Regards. To all of you.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:14 AM on March 16, 2007

Or perhaps I should say:

"En garde - all of you!"

As I draw and shoot, in one continuous motion.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:17 AM on March 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

including the "Cortex the Destroyer" thread that I know of only by reputation, as it apparently came and went in the time it takes me to walk home from work.

Goddammit, how did I miss that? You mean I literally have to spend every minute of my life on MetaFilter? At least I have this thread to clutch to my bosom and weep tears of exhausted laughter into. And I got here early and have a great seat!

*waves at the distant, forlorn figure of nj_subgenius, tries to indicate by hand gesture that it's too far to throw a beer, settles back to enjoy spectacle*
posted by languagehat at 6:42 AM on March 16, 2007

Am I the only who thinks hobettes are kinda hot?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:43 AM on March 16, 2007

Yes, you are.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:52 AM on March 16, 2007

I'm sorry, but to say that this comment:

Sukiari: Abortion is about the worst form of birth control out there.

is not intentionally inflammatory is being severely disingenuous.

It's only inflammatory to you because you disagree. On this point Sukiari is correct. Abortion is the worst form of birth control. I hardly find that statement to be controversial, even among Right to Choose folk. Only a minority of Americans find abortion to be not a moral issue.

"Regardless of whether or not you think abortion should be legal, do you personally believe that having an abortion is morally wrong in nearly all circumstances, morally wrong in some circumstances, or is it not a moral issue?"

Nearly always morally wrong - 24%
Sometimes morally wrong - 49%
Not a moral issue - 24%
Unsure - 3%

posted by caddis at 6:56 AM on March 16, 2007

Finally, a thread about guns!

Personally, I really like my Springfield 1911 .45, but it's tolerances are too tight, and it has frozen up in sub-zero weather, so I take my Ruger P89 9mm out when it's really cold.

What do you all use?
posted by Balisong at 7:12 AM on March 16, 2007

It's only inflammatory to you because you disagree.

No, it's inflammatory because it's implying that people only get abortions because they are too lazy to use birth control. Of *course* it's the worst form of birth control.

And according to your statistics that you listed, it seems to me that yes, a minority of Americans think that abortion is NEVER a moral issue... but the same statistic shows that the same sized minority of Americans think it is nearly morally wrong. Using that poll, I could say that almost 75% of Americans approve of abortions in some circumstances, and 75% of Americans disapprove of abortions in some circumstances. It's not all that useful a statistic.
posted by antifuse at 7:16 AM on March 16, 2007

err... it is nearly *always* morally wrong.
posted by antifuse at 7:19 AM on March 16, 2007

balisong, you need to file down the sear. It's got a big apostrophe sticking out, and that's causing the action to freeze.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:24 AM on March 16, 2007

What do you all use?

A Barrett XM-109 gets the job done.
posted by caddis at 7:25 AM on March 16, 2007

What do you all use?

Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator
posted by Otis at 7:34 AM on March 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

S mock, S mock, S mock.
posted by flabdablet at 7:35 AM on March 16, 2007

*Shows up, kicks around the few remaining smoking embers of what was once a proud thread. Sad that he missed the fun.*
posted by octothorpe at 7:39 AM on March 16, 2007

I hesitate to raise this here in the midst of all the guns and abortions, but I'm sure as hell not going to try to start a new thread....

It appears that cortex has successfully prevented a flameout through quick and decisive moderation. Despite my disappointment at the loss of a sideshow, I'm strangely comfortable with that. On the other hand, it's clearly a different strategy than letting people go crazy 'letting off steam' in Metatalk, which has, I believe, always had a frontier town lawlessness. What do y'all think of the new sheriff's methods?
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:39 AM on March 16, 2007

I prefer to roast my marshmallows by the roaring flames of a raving lunatic mefite.
posted by caddis at 7:43 AM on March 16, 2007

Long Live Lawlessness!
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 7:48 AM on March 16, 2007

"What do y'all think of the new sheriff's methods?"

I say we stomp him!
Then we tattoo him!
Then we hang him!
And then we kill him!
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:48 AM on March 16, 2007

*threatens self with lawfully-concealed handgun, talks fast*
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:49 AM on March 16, 2007

Apropos of absolutely nothing at all, in the last, um, nine days I've read about 4,800 pages of Steven Erikson's Malazan Book of the Fallen. This has fucked with my head. I dream about these characters and events. I hear dialog in my head.

So, into the Warren of Shadow for the lot of you.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:58 AM on March 16, 2007

Though three people favored a comment I made yesterday, I've given it some thought, and I retract and apologize for it. It occurred to me that in writing that, I was being a complete and total hypocrite, considering the screed I recently made about another website that routinely and deletes messages. While it incensed me to have my messages deleted over there, I was easily able to dismiss and furthermore belittle other people's concerns about their messages being deleted here, albeit mostly for comic effect. Still, hypocrisy is hypocrisy.

And it's not that I haven't had messages deleted here. I have. Inexplicably, I find it acceptable here and offensive there -- enough to make me write off that other site completely.
posted by Dave Faris at 8:05 AM on March 16, 2007

I'm sorry, muscling in on another attention whore's thread takeover is just unseemly.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:12 AM on March 16, 2007

I see I erred in setting up a Wild West metaphor. I prefer the coffeehouse/pub metaphor for MetaFilter, with Metatalk as some sort of basement/back alley where people go to brawl when they've had too much to caffeine/alcohol.

There are other pleasing metaphors, however. When a particularly loud patron shows so strong a tendency to bellicose stupidity as this fellow did, I think it's reasonable to allow him on-stage to dance for the amused audience before pulling him behind the curtain with an absurdly long shepherd's crook. Since most of his worst excesses were deleted, we're deprived of both a show and a satisfying finish. And theater like that has a nice educative effect of the other would-be internet-stars.

Those are member-side opinions, however. From the moderator's perspective, I imagine the quickness demonstrated by cortex might become exhausting on particularly loony days. But I don't really know. What I've garnered from various westerns is this: active sheriffs become beat cops pretty quickly as the tumbleweed town grows into a metropolis... and that's a life of donuts and despair I wouldn't wish on anyone, let alone these three.
posted by anotherpanacea at 8:15 AM on March 16, 2007

hmmm... where'd those italics come from?
posted by anotherpanacea at 8:16 AM on March 16, 2007

Wait... do people actually go into back alleys and brawl after too much caffeine in a coffee house? That's awesome!
posted by antifuse at 8:28 AM on March 16, 2007

Malor writes "Personally, I think any variant on this particular argument should merit an instant, no-questions-asked ban, and a refund.

"The refund should have this approximate message: 'We don't want your money. Go away.'"

A refund!? They should forfeit the sign up fee and be fined a case of beer to the mod who swings the hammer. Banhammering is hard and undoubtedly sweaty work.

caddis writes "Abortion is the worst form of birth control. "

I can think of several worse forms including the ever popular murder of the pregnant.
posted by Mitheral at 8:31 AM on March 16, 2007

It's a good question, anotherpanacea, and I actually thought more people would take you up on it this morning, Blazing Saddles riffage notwithstanding.

The question of catharsis vs. containment isn't lost on me, and I didn't simply shrug-and-close yesterday; on the balance, it seemed like that brewing thread was going to be far shittier a spectacle than a run-of-the-mill MeTa pileon, with Sukiari bucking a lot harder and baiting a lot more purposefully than a typical just-upset-about-stuff mefite.

Add to that Matt and Jess being less available than usual yesterday afternoon, and the potential for righteously awful beyond-the-pale fuckwittery was considerable.

I doubt I'll be exactly that reactive most days—a good Airing Of Grievances in the grey is a tradition for which I have both lay-sociological and devil-on-my-shoulder respect—but this seemed like pure awfulness coming to a boil.

On top of which, I'm still very much finding my feet; I converse with Matt and Jess daily about all kinds of fine points of administrative etiquette and pragmatics and where various lines of do-and-don't could be drawn. I'm bound to take a heavier or a lighter hand, or just make a different call, compared to Matt and Jess's standard practices, but feedback from them and from the site will, I think, help even out the disparities between my perspective and the social reality around here enough that the bumps will become fewer and farther between.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:35 AM on March 16, 2007

you're doing a great job
posted by caddis at 8:41 AM on March 16, 2007

"you're doing a great job" cortie
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:43 AM on March 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

I may have to ban crash, though.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:46 AM on March 16, 2007

cortie, cortie, bo bo bortie.....
posted by y2karl at 8:51 AM on March 16, 2007

oh, bo bortie, to be sure...
posted by y2karl at 8:51 AM on March 16, 2007

Closing down the other thread and leaving this one open; correct decision. The other thread was turning classic trainwreck and this thread has turned out classic quotable.

You can moderate me any day, cortex. I prefer a heavier hand, but you have to use protection, y'hear?
posted by spiderwire at 8:52 AM on March 16, 2007

I'd like to commend jesirose for handling the deletion with a lot of grace and class, once the reasons were adequately explained.
posted by malocchio at 8:53 AM on March 16, 2007

I'd like to commend jesirose for handling the deletion with a lot of grace and class, after the reasons were explained again, and again, and again.
posted by spiderwire at 9:00 AM on March 16, 2007

Well, at least she isn't bragging about packing heat.
posted by malocchio at 9:02 AM on March 16, 2007

cortex the mod has helped me, as recently as yesterday. And not in some wishy-washy, ineffable way like psychotherapy helps people.
posted by OmieWise at 9:07 AM on March 16, 2007

My post early this morning was deleted because cortex says "What, was the previous thread that you linked not contentious or web-unrelated enough?"

The big question now is, can he turn this into a catchy tune?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:11 AM on March 16, 2007

I'd like to commend jesirose for handling the deletion with a lot of grace and class, after the reasons were explained again, and again, and again.

Oh, she did okay. Those of us that haunt the grey may know these arguments like the palms of our hands (*cough*), but newer users don't; there's an unfixable gap in expectations and topic-weariness that's easy to forget about when you've been around a while. New people, new experiences—they come in blank slate and don't usually even know that they're treading through a minefield.

And she (and any other new folks reading the thread) is probably better off from a community-grokking standpoint for having gotten the more encompassing response from folks in the thread; she asked all of her questions, and got answers, and that's totally okay. She wasn't being obnoxious, just inquisitive with a little tinge of personal investment, I figure.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:13 AM on March 16, 2007

cortex: I wouldn't sweat about it too much. As someone commented up thread, the site is well past critical mass, and you'd have to just completely screw the pooch to do any real damage. If we lose a thread here or there that was salvageable.... eh, oh well.

Barring extreme heavy-handedness, there will always be more. :)
posted by Malor at 9:14 AM on March 16, 2007

(that was in response to your earlier comment. You just now posted right before I did. I even previewed! :) )
posted by Malor at 9:16 AM on March 16, 2007

"Personally, I really like my Springfield 1911 .45, but it's tolerances are too tight, and it has frozen up in sub-zero weather, so I take my Ruger P89 9mm out when it's really cold."

S&W 340PD Airlite with the HIVIZ sights. I just couldn't resist a .357 magnum that weighs 12 ounces.
posted by Sukiari at 9:29 AM on March 16, 2007

I just wanted to say thanks to the people who realized I wasn't trying to whine, but trying to understand so I wouldn't make the same mistake in the future, and can actually contribute positively.

I realize most people probably don't like "hey my post got deleted" on metatalk, (Dave :-P ) and I'm sorry for adding to that, but the answers I got here really did help. I probably won't make a FPP for quite some time ;)

Plus the overall response was quite amusing and enlightening. Thanks all.
posted by jesirose at 9:49 AM on March 16, 2007

I always thought a Libertarian was an Objectivist who went to college.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:21 AM on March 16, 2007

"Personally, I really like my Springfield 1911 .45, but it's tolerances are too tight, and it has frozen up in sub-zero weather, so I take my Ruger P89 9mm out when it's really cold."

S&W 340PD Airlite with the HIVIZ sights. I just couldn't resist a .357 magnum that weighs 12 ounces.

Oh, Christ, ya bunch a pussies. Single action 6-gun, .44Mag.. I'll show your asses a lack of tolerance ...
posted by Wulfgar! at 11:02 AM on March 16, 2007

MetaFilter: You can moderate me any day.
posted by deborah at 11:08 AM on March 16, 2007

Nobody would accuse you of having a wimpy gun, but it's probably almost impossible to conceal.

Might as well carry an M14 rifle!
posted by Sukiari at 11:09 AM on March 16, 2007

All I meant was that jesirose took it all in good humor.

Now, if you'll excuse me, this thread is getting far too cuddly. Let me know when Suki starts making an ass of himself again. Comparing gun size just doesn't do it for me.
posted by spiderwire at 12:10 PM on March 16, 2007

Basically, if every Democrat you meet thinks you are a Republican and vice-versa, you mayight be a Libertarian.

Damnit. Now I've been reminded of that Jeff Foxworthy CD I bought for some godawful reason, and still own. Must figure out a creative way to destroy it.
posted by CKmtl at 12:19 PM on March 16, 2007

Balisong writes "I take my Ruger P89 9mm out when it's really cold.

"What do you all use?"

I don't have one but if I need to carry a handgun and I had my choice I'd pick the Webley-Fosbery Self-Cocking Automatic Revolver in .455.
posted by Mitheral at 12:51 PM on March 16, 2007

If you are inclined to contrariness, but are too timid to be anarchists... you might be a Libertarian.

If you have the intellectual rigor of a tomato... you might be a Libertarian.

Thanks E.B.!
posted by team lowkey at 12:51 PM on March 16, 2007

Glad to be of service.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 1:11 PM on March 16, 2007

that brewing thread was going to be far shittier a spectacle than a run-of-the-mill MeTa pileon, with Sukiari bucking a lot harder and baiting a lot more purposefully

God damn it, cortex, it's when they start a-buckin' and a-baitin' that it's the most fun to ride 'em! 'Course, you got to have some experience, these young kids think they know all 'bout the internets 'cause they saw Kottke in a thread once or twice, they jump onto the back of a real hellion like this here Sooky and bam, they hit the dirt faster 'n' you can say dude ranch. But to a real buckaroo, ain't nothin' better than diggin' in the spurs and takin' a bronc like that around the gray for a ride! YEE-HAW!

*fires off single-action Colt .45, guzzles rotgut*
posted by languagehat at 2:14 PM on March 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

See, when I deny you the flameout, I get the wonderful flameout-related caricatures. That's the stuff, man.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:31 PM on March 16, 2007

Thanks, Cortex, for not being too overhanded in closing off MeTa threads. You know, like how the other one was just getting good...
posted by Balisong at 5:02 PM on March 16, 2007

I count at least 40 trolls in this thread. Thanks - I don't feel so lonely any more!
posted by Sukiari at 6:57 PM on March 16, 2007

.
posted by peacay at 7:17 PM on March 16, 2007 [3 favorites]

somebody took a shot at peacay!

you can see the bullet hole!

run
posted by spiderwire at 8:10 PM on March 16, 2007

That was just languagehat. Don't worry - he's got so much rotgut in him, he can't actually hit anything.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:10 AM on March 17, 2007

*peers through hole*

he done shot straight through to Hessian territory!
posted by spiderwire at 7:41 PM on March 17, 2007