Scurvy of Butt!

August 12, 2007 5:28 PM

Paralegal by day, Pirate by night.
posted by and hosted from Uranus to MetaFilter-related at 5:28 PM (51 comments total)

Misspelled his name there, didn't they?
posted by koeselitz at 5:37 PM on August 12, 2007

SHAN-tees.
posted by chrismear at 5:45 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yup, they did. Unless Faint of Butt misspelled it on his profile. Interesting find though, thanks!
posted by Phire at 5:53 PM on August 12, 2007

What's that word that means the opposite of pride?
posted by ColdChef at 6:06 PM on August 12, 2007 [6 favorites]

what chrismear said.
posted by unknowncommand at 6:08 PM on August 12, 2007

Neat! Congrats, FoB.

Q: What do suburban pirates play in their backyards?
A: Yarrrrrrrrd darts.
posted by cortex at 6:13 PM on August 12, 2007

When I was a little boy,
Me mother went and told me!
Way flame away, flame away Joe!
If I never dissed a post me keys would grow all mouldy!
Way flame away, flame away Joe!

First I made a front page post, it got a proper hazing!
Way flame away, flame away Joe!
They hauled me off to Me-ta-Talk, it damn near drove me crazy!
Way flame away, flame away Joe!
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:15 PM on August 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

ColdChef: "What's that word that means the opposite of pride?"

Umm... I think you mean 'pictured-in-the-Washington-Post-in-full-pirate-regalia.'
posted by koeselitz at 6:15 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

The Post is for semi-literates now, huh? "Ooooh, SHAN-tee! side-SHOW Bob!"
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:19 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

What's that word that means the opposite of pride?

Anybody who appears in the Post as a chantey-singing pirate deserves to be damn proud of themselves. And I am unanimous in that.

Mugs o' mead all around fer Fainty O'Butt!
posted by Avenger at 7:03 PM on August 12, 2007

Mugs o' GROG, Avenger, mugs o' grog!

*storms away to keelhaul renfaire attendees*
posted by StrikeTheViol at 7:10 PM on August 12, 2007

Scurvy of butt be a far sight better than dropsy of butt, yarr.
posted by boo_radley at 7:12 PM on August 12, 2007

Those sing-alongs look like a lot of fun to this wench. Good on ya, FOB.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:17 PM on August 12, 2007

Way to go, FoB! And let's not forget another of our own sea-faring songsters, Sailor Martin, perhaps better known as Astro Zombie.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:40 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

What a nice pile of P-Rrrrrrrrr!

*Pirate relations, of course!
posted by loquacious at 8:42 PM on August 12, 2007

A paralegal is a person and/or animal that travels in pairs.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:46 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well dude, here's some rum, here's a lash, for the rest..you're on your own.
posted by jonmc at 8:47 PM on August 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

Pirates are the new minstrels.

The New Christy Minstrels, as a matter of fact.



I don't even know what that means.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:53 PM on August 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

That means that Kenny Rogers is a pirate.
(look it up)
posted by jonmc at 8:55 PM on August 12, 2007

And that also means Barry McGuire is a pirate.
(looked it up for you)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:37 PM on August 12, 2007

Real pirates steal Chinese made RPGs and attack cruise ships off the coast of Africa.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:42 PM on August 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

Kim Carnes was a pirate too.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:56 PM on August 12, 2007

Wow, I just noticed you referenced Sailor Martin. Thanks. Although, properly, he's a former merchant marine.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:33 PM on August 12, 2007

Geez. Am I the only MeFite who hasn't been in the Washington Post? Could you people stop having such interesting and fulfilling lives so I can feel better about my lonely lame existence?

Thank you.

I suppose this means I'm supposed to start taking life by the horns, living day by day, and pushing myself to the limit. Damn you all.
posted by Deathalicious at 11:50 PM on August 12, 2007

Is there a sentence in the English language that isn't improved by adding "...in full pirate regailia." to the end of it?
posted by Jofus at 12:46 AM on August 13, 2007

In effort to locate Utah miners, rescuers drill third hole...
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 2:06 AM on August 13, 2007

Isn't it spelt 'shanties'?
posted by Happy Dave at 2:46 AM on August 13, 2007

Yes.
posted by ninebelow at 3:30 AM on August 13, 2007

Is there a sentence in the English language that isn't improved by adding "...in full pirate regalia." to the end of it in full pirate regalia?
posted by flabdablet at 4:12 AM on August 13, 2007

Isn't it spelt 'shanties'?

Not so fast, me hearties.
posted by cortex at 4:51 AM on August 13, 2007

Excellent! My girlfriend held up the paper yesterday and said "look at this fun thing", and I said, "I know that guy!"
posted by OmieWise at 5:36 AM on August 13, 2007

If it makes you feel better, Deathalicious, I've never been in the WaPo in full pirate regalia.
posted by Meatbomb at 5:41 AM on August 13, 2007

I always append "in full pirate regalia" to my fortune cookie fortunes.

Don't forget, you are always on our minds in full pirate regalia.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 6:26 AM on August 13, 2007 [2 favorites]

My fortune cookie fortunes always end "in bed in full pirate regalia". Thanks for pointing this up, and hosted from Uranus in full pirate regalia.
posted by steef at 7:02 AM on August 13, 2007

Don't mock pirates.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:10 AM on August 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

Q: Why scurvy swabs belly-ache about cortex's deletions on MetaFilter?

A: They claim them thar deletions be arrrrrrbitrary!


Get it? Arrrrrbitrary, like a pirate would say it in full pirate regalia...
posted by Mister_A at 8:28 AM on August 13, 2007

do. Why do?
posted by Mister_A at 8:29 AM on August 13, 2007

Aye, the dogs at the Washington Post can't even do me the favor of spellin' me name right. There's a keelhauling in store for 'em, there is. 'Tis an honor nonetheless, though. O'course, I ne'er could have done it without the rest o' me crew.

As for the rest o' ye, hearken to me now: If e'er a MeFite shows his face at Piratz Tavern on a night when I be carousin', his grog'll be on me! By which I mean both that I'll buy him a drink, and that he'll probably spill said drink on me trousers.

I told ye I was hardcore a pirate.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:53 AM on August 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

I know an old Jamaican sea shanty. It goes something like this:

0-0-7,
0-0-7,
At Oceans Eleven,
And now pirates have a go wail
'Cause them out of jail
Pirates cannot fail
'Cause them must get bail

Dem a loot, dem a shoot, dem a wail,
A Shanty Men,
Dem a loot, dem a shoot, dem a wail
A Shanty Men
Dem pirates get a probation
A Shanty Men
And pirates bomb up the town
A Shanty Town
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:20 AM on August 13, 2007

Thanks for pointing this up, and hosted from Uranus in full pirate regalia.

Shouldn't that be "...and hoisted from Uranus in full pirate regalia"?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:40 AM on August 13, 2007

weapons-grade pandemonium in full pirate regalia has a definite ring to it.
posted by misha at 11:40 AM on August 13, 2007

Aye, and the ring's in me left ear.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:45 AM on August 13, 2007

I recognizeed Faint of Butt from various meetup photos, and showed the page to my wife, who asked why he was in pirate garb. One of the things I love about MrsMoonPie is that my answer of "sea shany night" was perfectly sufficient for her.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:15 PM on August 13, 2007

I recognized Faint of Butt from various meetup photos, and showed the page to my wife, who asked why he was in pirate garb. One of the things I love about MrsMoonPie is that my answer of "sea shanty night" was perfectly sufficient for her.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:16 PM on August 13, 2007

Though, apparently, posting my comment once wasn't sufficient for me.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:19 PM on August 13, 2007

Self link. You expect me to believe Faint of Butt isn't Hosted from Uranus?
posted by The Bellman at 3:43 PM on August 13, 2007

Self link. You expect me to believe Faint of Butt isn't Hosted from Uranus?

Same place at the same time!
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:47 PM on August 13, 2007

Let me try this on the fortune I always get and have never understood...

This insert has a protective coating in full pirate regalia.

Nope. Still baffling.
posted by flabdablet at 5:35 PM on August 13, 2007

OMG I know another paralegal pirate that tends bar at the Piratz Tavern (in silver spring)! Dallas Valley is his name.
posted by cowbellemoo at 5:42 PM on August 14, 2007

And I see that One-eyed Mike guy smoking behind my building all the time. I hear he lost his eye in an actual swordfight?!
posted by cowbellemoo at 5:45 PM on August 14, 2007

Indeed, Mike did lose the eye to the tip of a sword. Just over a year ago, it was. The sword itself is named "Blinky" now.

And peculiarly enough, I never knew that Dallas was also a paralegal.
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:32 AM on August 15, 2007