Fat/thin and health, just another November 10, 2007 9:00 AM   Subscribe

This is a metatalk thread for those who wish to discuss issues of health and obesity rather than derailing the thread about Leonard Nimoy's new photography book.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) to Etiquette/Policy at 9:00 AM (146 comments total)

I am unreservedly for health. Except where it impinges on my occasional need for pepperoni pizza.
posted by everichon at 9:15 AM on November 10, 2007


And if health hates Lagunitas Imperial Stout, health can get bent.
posted by everichon at 9:17 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Health and obesity?

Huh. Never thought about it before.
posted by danb at 9:25 AM on November 10, 2007


This seems unnecessary.
posted by found missing at 9:27 AM on November 10, 2007


This is a metatalk thread for those who wish to discuss issues of health and obesity

Where's the thread to complain about Trekkies?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:30 AM on November 10, 2007


Um, it's "Trekkers"? loser
posted by everichon at 9:34 AM on November 10, 2007


me, "The fact is obese women are at risk of many medical conditions, as are overtly thin women."

kalessin, "This assertion is by no means proven... In either direction. Making this assertion is, to me, morally reprehensible."

Uh, yeah it is.

In either direction.

Making assertions to the contrary is ethically irresponsible.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:38 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Leonard Nimoy is a fat old cow that deserves to be tasered phasered. Discuss.
posted by 517 at 9:40 AM on November 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Um, it's "Trekkers"?

Set phasers to nerd.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:44 AM on November 10, 2007 [9 favorites]


Hurf durf butter photographer.
posted by Eideteker at 9:53 AM on November 10, 2007


I'm just so glad that the nerds have decided to go with Trekkers, giving us non-nerds the word "Trekkie" back. We'll reclaim the show from the nerds yet!

Hey, nerd, there's a showing of Deep Space 9 on television. Now leave me alone with Kirk and the Kool Enterprise Krew.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:01 AM on November 10, 2007


the nerds have decided to go with Trekkers

This assertion is by no means proven, as I'm sure you're aware from just skimming the battlegrounds of Trekkers and Trekkies on the blue, let alone the rest of life.
posted by everichon at 10:08 AM on November 10, 2007


Don't make me start a MeTa, yo.
posted by everichon at 10:09 AM on November 10, 2007


Actually...

"Trekkie" is the proper term for fans of the original series.

"Trekker" is specifically for people who are fans of the programming from the 1990s, including STNG, DS9 & Voyager.

Personally I'm a Roddenberry fan. I liked Star Trek up until he passed away and Berman assumed full control with no kibitzing from the Great Bird of the Galaxy. Soon after Spock's return in Unification, things started going downhill...

Fans of the whole franchise are dubbed "Star Trek Fans."

Being a nerd, and being any of the above, are largely unrelated to one another.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:09 AM on November 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Being a nerd, and being any of the above, are largely unrelated to one another.

Fish not aware of water.
posted by found missing at 10:11 AM on November 10, 2007 [8 favorites]


I am herewith coining "Trekkettante", to denote "someone who casually watched Next Generation and Voyager, because it's what was on, and who thought Troi was hotter than Yar."

Full disclosure: I am a Trekkettante.
posted by everichon at 10:15 AM on November 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Everyone forgets us Trekkists.
posted by hangashore at 10:20 AM on November 10, 2007


IM TREK'N IN ALL IN UR NERD TERMS FUCKIN U ALL UP!1!!!
posted by ericb at 10:46 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Maybe someone could say something offensive about overweight people? I haven't seen a wholehearted flameout in years now.
posted by everichon at 10:50 AM on November 10, 2007


Or, overweight Trekkeurs?
posted by everichon at 10:51 AM on November 10, 2007


ALL POWER TO THE ENGINES
posted by Riemann at 11:00 AM on November 10, 2007


Scottie got fat... AND THEN HE DIED!
posted by Roger Dodger at 11:08 AM on November 10, 2007


From the thread we're supposed to be using for Nimoy and photography talk but people are still talking about health issues over there. Hmph.

Autarky, "If you consume fewer, you will lose weight. Not a lot of science."

Not true. All it does is confuse the metabolism. If you consume less calories than your body is accustomed, the body reacts by storing fat. If the body detects it may be starved soon, it will squirrel away what it can for the pending lean times, so dieting alone is not sufficient for losing weight.

Dieting is much more complex than most anyone cares to admit, hence all the confusion and the multiple diets and all the overweight people in the world continuing to gain weight and not understanding why. It's cuz science is still trying to figure out why.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:13 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


everichon: "and who thought Troi was hotter than Yar"

Bev was hotter than both Yar & Troi put together. Of course, in her prime, Uhura's gravity-defying frame outshined the lot of them.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:16 AM on November 10, 2007


Bev was hotter

She did have an understated STCILF-y appeal, I will grant you. But I am sticking with Troi, she had that Greek Goddess thing going ON, nawmean.
posted by everichon at 11:25 AM on November 10, 2007


Well put both here and there, ZachsMind.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:30 AM on November 10, 2007


Well, Nimoy's the one trying to defuse the stigma of obesity, which, amongst other things centers around health issues, so as far as I can tell the debate/discussion about the two is right at home on the blue.
posted by docpops at 11:33 AM on November 10, 2007


.
posted by knave at 11:38 AM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Maybe we should just make one of these threads by default for every post that has anything at all to do with obesity.

That sounds sarcastic, but maybe it's a good idea. I'm so sick of how those threads get derailed. And, by the way, they're not generally derailed by people defending obesity, they're usually derailed by someone who feels the need to point out in very blunt terms that obesity is a Very Bad Thing. You know, just in case someone, somewhere, hasn't heard that before.

“so as far as I can tell the debate/discussion about the two is right at home on the blue.”

Maybe. But it's really tiresome and it is getting in the way of simply talking about the photographs. Does it have something to do with it? Sure. In fact, very much so. But people here can't talk about the subject reasonably and without rancor. So it ruins every thread in which it appears.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:47 AM on November 10, 2007


Bev was hotter than both Yar & Troi put together.

Except that whenever you got her motor running Wesledipus would burst in and scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY MOMMY?"

Not a lot of privacy on a starship.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 11:50 AM on November 10, 2007


EB - you're right. It is tiresome. Somehow, though, on a visceral level, this notion of celebrating obesity strikes me as a tactic that will bite us in the ass. The cost of treating our population is going to make mid-east war look like a school-lunch program in another twenty years at the rate we're growing.
posted by docpops at 11:50 AM on November 10, 2007


Um, hello, the hottest trek woman is not human.
posted by oddman at 11:56 AM on November 10, 2007


Somehow, though, on a visceral level, this notion of celebrating obesity strikes me as a tactic that will bite us in the ass.

Because celebrating thinness hasn't done anything to create any medical or emotional problems in anyone?
posted by occhiblu at 12:13 PM on November 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: All it does is confuse the metabolism
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:22 PM on November 10, 2007


Because celebrating thinness hasn't done anything to create any medical or emotional problems in anyone?

That's disingenuous and too easy, and you ought to know have nothing to do with one another.
posted by docpops at 12:22 PM on November 10, 2007


Actually...

"Trekkie" is the proper term for fans of the original series.

"Trekker" is specifically for people who go on long migrations by ox wagon.
posted by languagehat at 12:37 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Um, hello, the hottest trek woman is not human.

Finding out that a hot alien chick has the same name as your mom is not, as it turns out, very neat.
posted by cortex (staff) at 12:42 PM on November 10, 2007 [6 favorites]


Um, hello, the hottest trek woman is not human.

?
posted by y2karl at 12:53 PM on November 10, 2007


[NOT TREKKIST]
[NOT FATTIST]
[NOT OXENIST either]
posted by exlotuseater at 1:00 PM on November 10, 2007


Just to let you know: I'm about to post a Metafilter thread for those who wish to argue about who is the hottest female cast member of a Star Trek episode rather than derailing the thread for those who wish to discuss issues of health and obesity rather than derailing the thread about Leonard Nimoy's new photography book.
posted by googly at 1:02 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


The hottest female character on a Star Trek series is easily Troi.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 1:21 PM on November 10, 2007


Um, hello, the hottest trek woman is not human.

Oh yeah?

Um, she's the one on the right.
posted by George_Spiggott at 1:23 PM on November 10, 2007


The hottest female character on a Star Trek series is easily Troi.

Deanna or Lwaxana?
posted by Reggie Digest at 1:23 PM on November 10, 2007


Anyway, we all know Seven of Nine is the hottest.
posted by Reggie Digest at 1:26 PM on November 10, 2007


The hottest female character on a Star Trek series is easily Troi.

"Smack my ass, Wesley, I'm a naughty, naughty bitch."
posted by caddis at 1:37 PM on November 10, 2007


Deanna or Lwaxana?

Don't make me pick.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 1:39 PM on November 10, 2007


The hottest female character on a Star Trek is easily T'Pol.
posted by juiceCake at 2:02 PM on November 10, 2007


Is this where I come to see the photos of Mr Fat Wrinkly Nimoy? Please tell me he's naked except for those ears!
posted by meehawl at 2:18 PM on November 10, 2007


No love for Uhuru?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:21 PM on November 10, 2007


I mean Uhura, of course. I threw the extra u on the end because she gives me an urection.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:22 PM on November 10, 2007


Neither T'Pol or 7 of 9 are credited. Yes, they both have super-tight bodies, but they belong in Maxim, not Star Trek.

Also not credited: Chapel and Crusher.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 2:31 PM on November 10, 2007


The hottest female character on a Star Trek series is easily Troi.

Oh please. Ro Laren for the win.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:41 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


The hottest female Star Trek character is sometimes human but usually a cat.
posted by nicwolff at 2:52 PM on November 10, 2007


it's the ultimate dream of trekkies - to come where no man has come before
posted by pyramid termite at 3:18 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Ro Laren was an icy bitch. If you think that's hot, you have problems.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:19 PM on November 10, 2007


IIRC she was the only TNG female regular who wasn't a mommy figure. I'd stopped watching by that point as nausea had long since trumped SF fandom, so I get that secondhand. Troi? Official ship's mommy; nonthreatening senstive babe with big nourishing boobs who wants to help you with your feelings. Whoopi? The same but for Picard alone, and without the babishness. Doctor Mom? Mom-squared, and not-babe: the kind of woman other women think men ought to think is pretty. Tasha Yar? Not a mom, and worse, had problems of her own and no time for yours, so they killed her almost immediately.
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:48 PM on November 10, 2007


Great theory, and I'm not saying you're wrong, but Ro had no tits or ass, so forget that.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:55 PM on November 10, 2007


Way to bring back on-topic.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:35 PM on November 10, 2007


*sigh*
Way to bring it back on-topic.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:36 PM on November 10, 2007


I like chubby chicks, for completely selfish male-pig reasons. More flesh to play with.
posted by jonmc at 5:14 PM on November 10, 2007


You've convinced yourself that you like chubby chicks because you can't deal with the reality of being unable to attract thinner ones!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:22 PM on November 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


snap
posted by puke & cry at 5:23 PM on November 10, 2007


Bookhouse: "Way to bring back on-topic."

This gets a gold star for Freudian slip of the day.

We're bringing sexy back... on-topic.
posted by koeselitz at 5:25 PM on November 10, 2007


You've convinced yourself that you like chubby chicks because you can't deal with the reality of being unable to attract thinner ones!

Nonsense. I attract thinner ones all the time, but they keep falling through the cracks in my floor. And I'm fairly sure I attract more chicks than you, sir.
posted by jonmc at 5:28 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Lots of obese girls are hot. Hell, some of them are super-hot - the round face, the full lips, the large, in-charge, immpossible-to-ignore plump posterior. The problem is that their beauty has a shorter half-life than slimmer girls. So what looks *hot* at 25 may look a little scary at 35.

Not politically-correct, but there ya go.
posted by Elmo Oxygen at 5:29 PM on November 10, 2007


And I'm fairly sure I attract more chicks than you, sir.

That's probably true. I don't have the "gay, addict biker" thing going on.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:39 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Well, one out of three ain't bad, sir. Work on the addiction and biking.
posted by jonmc at 5:40 PM on November 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Wait, aren't you the guy with the handlebar mustache, sunken cheeks, and burning bloodshot eyes?

I haven't met many mefites (I'm not supposed to have met any, don't out me, bro), but I'm pretty sure that was you.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:42 PM on November 10, 2007


You know, we were having a perfectly nice conversation about hot Star Trek characters before you two started in with the dick measuring.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:43 PM on November 10, 2007


No, I'm the guy with bloodshot mustache, burning cheeks and handlebar eyes. Chick on acid dig that.
posted by jonmc at 5:44 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yeah, well, he claimed fat chicks are hot, and that just won't stand. Fat chicks are a cancer.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 5:45 PM on November 10, 2007


cortex, all I said was that I like chubby women, which was on topic (more or less). Steve felt the need to chime in on that, although I'm pretty sure he's just goofing.
posted by jonmc at 5:45 PM on November 10, 2007


Dude, as soon as you drop a line like this...

And I'm fairly sure I attract more chicks than you, sir.

...you're pretty much in cock-and-ruler territory. We've got profile pix now; you two could settle it that way.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:47 PM on November 10, 2007


Yeah, I shouldn't have risen to the bait. Carry on.
posted by jonmc at 5:49 PM on November 10, 2007


My plan worked!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:51 PM on November 10, 2007


Attracting the chicks is the easy part. I just sit in the corner and lick my eyebrows.

(Drops old joke book)

Oh shit!
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:03 PM on November 10, 2007


Is it seriously OK to post a picture of my dick in my profile?

I figured that would be frowned on. If an admin gives me approval, though, I'll do it!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:10 PM on November 10, 2007


Fat chicks are a cancer.

Now that's uncalled for. What, did a fat chick hurt your feelings by saying calling men with small dicks a cancer?
posted by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on November 10, 2007


Er, eliminate that "saying".
posted by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on November 10, 2007


Is it seriously OK to post a picture of my dick in my profile?

Yes, posting photos of your dick has always been socially acceptable.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:17 PM on November 10, 2007


Now that's uncalled for. What, did a fat chick hurt your feelings by saying calling men with small dicks a cancer?

Men with small dicks are a cancer. If your dick is under 5 inches when erect, you should be eliminated.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:21 PM on November 10, 2007


Someone had better get Mr. President the number for a suicide hotline.
posted by Reggie Digest at 6:42 PM on November 10, 2007


You guys are hilarious. Unfortunately (I guess), I actually do have a big dick, so keep trying. I'm sure there's something I'm insecure about!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:47 PM on November 10, 2007


When someone claims it's big, but then fails to provide pictures.........
posted by caddis at 6:55 PM on November 10, 2007


Is it bad that I just checked Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America's profile for a picture?
posted by Floydd at 6:59 PM on November 10, 2007


I'm sure there's something I'm insecure about!

Well it's sure as hell not being the biggest asshole on MeFi.

[NOT ASSHOLE-IST]
posted by !Jim at 7:00 PM on November 10, 2007


If this thread is going to have dick-measuring and Star Trek, I'd like to know whether Spock's is bigger than Kirk's.

Or, wait, do Vulcans even have penises?
posted by amyms at 7:12 PM on November 10, 2007


What do you think the points on the ears are, decoration?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:14 PM on November 10, 2007


When someone claims it's big, but then fails to provide pictures.........

I hear you, but I'm not going to do it without admin approval. I actually followed up with an admin in private, and they wouldn't give me an answer.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 7:17 PM on November 10, 2007


Well... You know what they say... The bigger the talk, the smaller the cock... I think I can safely speak for my Mefite sisters when I tell you that you're not impressing anyone, Mr. President.
posted by amyms at 7:24 PM on November 10, 2007


That's not fair. I talk about my cock all the time, but mostly to warn people not to step on it, and to request help lifting it into cars and up flights of stairs.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:32 PM on November 10, 2007 [7 favorites]


and if you send me email I'm asking for the banhammer ;)

nobody really wants to see it whether it is a pencil or 20 lb salami
posted by caddis at 7:32 PM on November 10, 2007


I'm not trying to impress anyone! I didn't want this conversation to be about dick size, but everyone started accusing me of having a tiny penis, so I wanted to set the record straight. That's all.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 7:33 PM on November 10, 2007


anyway, as they say, talk softly and carry a big stick
posted by caddis at 7:35 PM on November 10, 2007


Don't be a slave to the man, Dr. Steve! I feel no need to wait for any limp-wristed admin's approval before I update my profile with a picture of my big cock! So I did.
posted by Justinian at 7:50 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


A few minutes ago, I didn't fear the man, but now I learn that I'm the biggest asshole on MeFi.

That gives the admins a unique power over me, because if they ban me, I lose my title, and with it, my self esteem.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 7:52 PM on November 10, 2007


Wow, Justinian, that IS an impressive cock!
posted by amyms at 7:55 PM on November 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


This has been great. Thanks one and all.
posted by hackly_fracture at 7:58 PM on November 10, 2007


Anyway, I would plow that Troi, notwithstanding the fact she doesn't exist. Animal lust will find a way, they say.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:27 PM on November 10, 2007


I feel no need to wait for any limp-wristed admin's approval before I update my profile with a picture of my big cock! So I did.

You know, there are more links to boobies! and cocks! on the internet that turn out to be pictures of birds than actual porn.

At least the pussy's real.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 8:29 PM on November 10, 2007


Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America, I'm not interested in your weiner, but because this a hilarious thread and I support the idea of penile exposure catalyzed by MeTa, I wanted to point out that there are places on the internet other than your MeFi profile that host pictures.
posted by psmith at 8:49 PM on November 10, 2007


Ro Laren was an icy bitch. If you think that's hot, you have problems.

Sometimes, the best trim comes from the ones you're Just. Not. Sure won't stab you in the throat when you reach the petit mort. Kinda like a praying mantis. You gotta take risks!

Also, these chicks will occasionally get it on with other chicks. You know. Like Sharon Stone. In that one movie.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:54 PM on November 10, 2007


*checks calendar*
Hasn't Nimoy been an avowed fat admirer for years now?

Also. Hottest. Trekster. Evar.

So steve's pelvis meetsup secretly? Huh.

posted by and hosted from Uranus at 9:03 PM on November 10, 2007


As long as we're discussing large pricks, I would like to point out that the hottest male on Star Trek is this evil one.
posted by frobozz at 9:07 PM on November 10, 2007


This is a metatalk thread for those who wish to discuss issues of health and obesity of my fat cock.

(We're on the same side, Cool Papa Bell.)
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 9:54 PM on November 10, 2007


To boldly go...
posted by Tenuki at 10:42 PM on November 10, 2007


Floydd -- don't feel bad, I actually checked several times...

But Justinian's cock is definitely my favorite. Looks tasty.
posted by rosethorn at 10:51 PM on November 10, 2007


I will pay Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America $5 (cash, check, or PayPal) if he posts a photograph of his genitals on his Metafilter profile page.

To prove identity, the word "Metafilter" must also be in the photograph.

You can use the $5 to buy a new account if you get banned.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:57 PM on November 10, 2007


*volunteers to distribute popcorn and soft drinks while we wait*
posted by amyms at 11:05 PM on November 10, 2007


Fat/thin. I'm the guy with the gun.
posted by Snyder at 11:14 PM on November 10, 2007


No, mon, mine say "Welcome to Jamaicahttp://www.metafilter.com/66398/Double-parking-Double-taser#1907557, have a nice day".
posted by nicwolff at 11:23 PM on November 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


I want my dick to be on Metafilter as much as anyone, but without admin approval, I'm just not going to do it. I'm a straight shooter, and I don't want to cause problems.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 11:23 PM on November 10, 2007


beam me up, fatso.
posted by stirfry at 11:41 PM on November 10, 2007


What do you think the points on the ears are, decoration?

You know, one of the major reasons I gave up on Deep Space Nine was the near-constant Ferengi earsturbation. Then again, it might have been kinda hot if Odo morphed into a Q-Tip every now and then.
posted by Reggie Digest at 12:31 AM on November 11, 2007


This thread needs to get sidebarred for the jonmc - Steve America exchange alone.
posted by tehloki at 12:37 AM on November 11, 2007


It never fails. Get a bunch of guys going on a nice, juicy sexist conversation, and the next thing you know they're all asking for pictures of each others' dicks.
posted by taz at 12:55 AM on November 11, 2007 [3 favorites]


This thread needs less dick, more fat chicks.
posted by Eideteker at 5:07 AM on November 11, 2007 [3 favorites]


Um, hello, the hottest trek woman is not human. Damn straight! The hottest of the hot was the Borgess Six of Nine
posted by RussHy at 6:07 AM on November 11, 2007


It's OK, Dr. Steve. We understand that you're embarrassed. Don't lose heart though, it's not the size that matters, it's the way you use it! Really, I swear! And those times when you see one of your sex partners snickering with a group of other women while you walk by? They're not laughing at you, they're laughing with you. You know, with you about your tiny, tiny, tiny little penis.
posted by Anonymous at 6:12 AM on November 11, 2007


My work here is done.

*evil laugh*
posted by jonmc at 6:18 AM on November 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dax gets no love?

Both Jadzia and Ezri will do.
posted by Arturus at 6:40 AM on November 11, 2007


Just to let you know: I'm going to post a Metatalk thread for those who wish to argue about whose genitalia is larger rather than derailing the Metafilter thread (which I haven't yet posted) for those who wish to argue about who is the hottest female cast member of a Star Trek episode rather than derailing the thread for those who wish to discuss issues of health and obesity rather than derailing the thread about Leonard Nimoy's new photography book.
posted by googly at 6:42 AM on November 11, 2007


YOU FORGOT ILIA.
posted by Eideteker at 6:57 AM on November 11, 2007


(comment of substance deleted)

Oh well whatever.
posted by Danila at 6:59 AM on November 11, 2007


The very first link in that post asks whether Spock has joined the Fat Acceptance Movement. Surely that makes the discussion of the Fat Acceptance Movement a legitimate topic in that thread?

Not that I've got any views on the topic one way or another, but it hardly seems to me to be a derail if it's a major component of one of the linked articles.

Also, I'm not scared of mods either. I've posted a picture of an enormous dick in my profile. A dick that I know Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America will just love...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:28 AM on November 11, 2007 [1 favorite]


Also, I'm not scared of mods either.

But are you scared of rockers?
posted by jonmc at 7:32 AM on November 11, 2007


We are the mods, we are the mods, we are, we are, we are the mods.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:21 AM on November 11, 2007


My expert (lesbian) opinion:

Deanna Troi > Uhura > Ro Laren
That is all, no one else even rates.

However, my partner disagrees. She would say
Data > Beverly Crusher
posted by arcticwoman at 8:43 AM on November 11, 2007 [2 favorites]


Some nights I'm drifting off to sleep when I feel Uhura's nails rake down my spine and tear into my buttocks; she licks me and I taste my blood as she transforms into a leopard and we roll around my cabin, upsetting glasses of blue liquid and shelves of intergalactic curios, most of them double-headed or robotically enhanced or ancient and powerful. Her claws gouge the skin of my lower back the insides of my knees as we strain to overmaster one another, until I get the upper hand and her spine rattles and arcs, the fur along her back straightens and stinks, and I take my turn at rending her with my inadequate human nails, from the sides of her powerful hind legs to the thick purchase behind her ears, enough to grab and pull with both hands.

Picard walks in, to howling and kicking and blood frenzy, the room a tornado, the smell tangy and fetid and metal, Uhura and I still knotted and vicious, gnawing at ears and the rug and frantic with need. Picard is a Bengal tiger, and his chuffing draws our eyes while our bodies, lost to nature, argue on.

He pounces and I feel his weight and I'm in the middle of a cat sandwich, oily wet fur all around, warm and painful and bloody and our knots chain with great heat and pressure. I'm thrown around a room but locked in place, bruised and bleeding and enveloped by frightening beasts of the jungle, deeply entwined in animal lust and unnatural nature. It's perfect.

When I wake up, I find I've managed to fit my entire left hand into my asshole without waking up or getting shit under my nails.
posted by breezeway at 10:06 AM on November 11, 2007 [2 favorites]


Here's my opinion on everything:
For: health, Ro Laren, 'Trekkies', jonmc's dick, MrPresidentblah's dick, breezeway stories, rockers.
Agin': Obesity, the Crusher clan, 'Trekkers', hearing any more about jonmc's dick, hearing any more about Mr.Presidentblah's dick, mods.
posted by Kwine at 10:59 AM on November 11, 2007


For the record, I never mentioned my dick. It speaks for itself.
posted by jonmc at 11:00 AM on November 11, 2007


And sometimes, my friend, it speaks for you.

*drum clatter*
posted by breezeway at 11:31 AM on November 11, 2007


Come one, come all, see jonmc, the man with the talking dong.
posted by tehloki at 11:39 AM on November 11, 2007


It's only a dime folks -- one thin dime -- just one tenth of a dollar! Come on in and see jonmc the snake dancer!

Is it real?

posted by breezeway at 11:47 AM on November 11, 2007


My dick is extraordinary. It's been sighted several times in a loch in Scotland.

Not the whole thing, though. Just three humps and a snakelike head.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:29 PM on November 11, 2007


My dick is so big, it won't take Spielberg's calls.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:29 PM on November 11, 2007


Thanks, I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip the waitstaff.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:29 PM on November 11, 2007


"Trekkie" is the proper term for fans of the original series.

"Trekker" is specifically for people who are fans of the programming from the 1990s, including STNG, DS9 & Voyager.


Awesome. Can we work out "Bimmer" vs "Beemer" now?
posted by davejay at 2:31 PM on November 11, 2007


One's a car, the other a motorcycle.
posted by breezeway at 2:37 PM on November 11, 2007


You're all on drugs.
posted by seanyboy at 3:33 PM on November 11, 2007


I wish.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:59 PM on November 11, 2007


Not a single mention of Kes. Bizarre.
posted by bingo at 4:07 PM on November 11, 2007


Kes was like four years old, you perv!
posted by Reggie Digest at 4:44 PM on November 11, 2007


Yeah, Kes-love is a crime against nature. Dude.
posted by everichon at 9:10 PM on November 11, 2007


Persis Khambatta, before Sinead, there was Persis.
posted by nomisxid at 3:40 PM on November 12, 2007


My dick is so big, it won't take Spielberg's calls.

Hell, mine prevents cell phone call from going through.
posted by Challahtronix at 9:27 AM on November 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


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