Comments on: Neat facts about Matt

Neat facts about Matt

ShawnString — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:45:22 -0800

You learn something new every day about fearless leader. "...I'm blind in one eye from birth". And yes, those online glass places are pretty great

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:47:33 -0800

You know who else was blind in one eye?

Sammy Davis Jr. And Columbo.

By: dersins

dersins — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:47:34 -0800

*points and laughs at blindy mcblinderson*

By: Stynxno

Stynxno — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:51:08 -0800

can we also get a metatalk post for each twitter update that mathowie posts? i really need to know more about him.

really.

By: roll truck roll

roll truck roll — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:51:30 -0800

Yeah, why don't you just learn how to see, pal.

By: inigo2

inigo2 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:56:45 -0800

Which eye is it? That way I can hide self links on that side of a metafilter post and you'll never know.

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 11:57:43 -0800

matt what did you have for lunch today this is important i am missing data here for a week and youre jeopardizing the integrity of my control charts here

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:00:38 -0800

This is a creepy stalker thread I want no part of. On the other hand, I need new glasses. I feel so conflicted.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:03:06 -0800

WHAT!? YOU STINKING LYING CAPITALIST PIGDOG!!

GLORIOUS LEADER SEES SUPER-PERFECTLY WITH NOT ONLY TWO EYES, BUT EIGHT! SEE RIGHT AROUND MOON, SEE WHOLE EARTH, DIVINE BEING OF LIGHT SEE ENTIRE COSMOS, EYES SHOOT PERFECTLY PURIFYING LASERBEAMS OF DEATH AT INFIDEL SCUM LIKE YOU!

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:03:26 -0800

Sammy Davis Jr. And Columbo.

And Sandy Duncan!

By: TedW

TedW — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:06:35 -0800

I have a friend with one eye; he was totally befuddled by the Magic Eye craze of the last century.

By: Memo

Memo — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:07:08 -0800

He posted about that some days ago at AskMeFi. So... old news?

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:08:43 -0800

And Colonel Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:12:30 -0800

Nice post, ShawnString. Matt's going to have to keep an eye out for you.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:15:22 -0800

I had a friend with a glass eye.

Never, ever ask him to keep an eye on something. Because he will.

Especially if it's your drink.

*plop*

GAH. YOU BASTARD GUY.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:17:04 -0800

It's too bad it's not just a lazy eye. Then we could call Matt the Eye Strains Drifter.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:18:48 -0800

I have a friend with one eye; he was totally befuddled by the Magic Eye craze of the last century.

Huh. Suddenly I remember this old thread about the camera-wobble trick for inducing monocular depth perception, and looking back I find this relevant gem from Matt.

Note: mods generally not naked while working on site, fyi.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:19:29 -0800

You know who else is blind in one eye?

That's right, Jean-Marie Le Pen. And Gordon Brown. And Jonsi out of Sigur Ros.

Any questions?

By: mathowie

mathowie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:20:29 -0800

There's a whole bunch of us cyclops in this recent ask mefi thread. I had no idea so many users had only one eye.

By: Atom Eyes

Atom Eyes — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:21:06 -0800

In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:23:49 -0800

Note: mods generally not naked while working on site, fyi.

Buh?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:23:50 -0800

Strangely, though, in the land of the one-eyed men, the one who can program in Ruby on Rails is king.

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:26:47 -0800

Note: if your sneaking up on Matt, he's blind in his right eye.

Don't make the same mistake I did.

By: Rhomboid

Rhomboid — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:32:15 -0800

Congrats Howie, you've made it into the net.geek majors. Here's your stalker avoidance handbook and pepper spray. What? You didn't apply for this position?

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:32:31 -0800

cortex: ceiling cat is watching you moderate.

By: pineapple

pineapple — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:33:15 -0800

Yes, but if he had a third eye blind.... well, then, it would definitely be a semi-charmed kind of life.

By: John Kenneth Fisher

John Kenneth Fisher — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:34:36 -0800

.. Were I Matt Haughey... I would find this post moderately disturbing.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:34:58 -0800

"He posted about that some days ago at AskMeFi. So... old news?"

Oops, sorry to repeat what Memo already posted. I GUESS I DIDN'T SEE IT.

By: signal

signal — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:35:24 -0800

I'm not Matt Haughey, and I find it more than moderatley creepy.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:35:33 -0800

I don’t know who I’d be more afraid of, the guy who posted the thread or the guy who favorited it.

By: ShawnString

ShawnString — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:37:19 -0800

I didnt mean for this to be come mean spirtited I swear.
and I would never stalk Matt.

but it has become a really fun thread.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:45:49 -0800

Flagged as "Nice".

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:48:45 -0800

I don't mean to be insensitive but I just saw that ask mefi thread and this comment stuck out:

Chiming in to say I'm a cyclops-since-birth, too.

Life is completely normal, except for not being able to do the magic eye puzzles.

I know what they meant to say - that their life on the outside is for the most part indistinguishable from someone with two good eyes. But, on the other hand, if they have been partially blind since birth they have no reference experience, that is subjective experience of what "normal" is - they are unqualified to tell you what you will be missing experientially if you suddenly lost one eye.

By: edgeways

edgeways — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:49:37 -0800

You know who else was blind in one eye?

Me
(right as well)

And I spend a shit load on my glasses, but I get the frames that can twist all to hell and back

By: Memo

Memo — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:52:10 -0800

"Oops, sorry to repeat what Memo already posted. I GUESS I DIDN'T SEE IT."

I'M SORRY, I GUESS YOU MISSED THE MEMO.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:53:04 -0800

It's worse than that, vacapinta. They also completely fail to account for the feelings of those binocular folks who are nonetheless (hilariously) incapable of doing magic eye puzzles.

By: Memo

Memo — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:54:00 -0800

Confession time: I have never been able to do those things.

By: Kwine

Kwine — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:54:01 -0800

I know a guy whose one-eyed trouser snake has two eyes. At least, so he says. And since he's not in seventh grade, I can't imagine why he would make up something like that.

By: quin

quin — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:57:41 -0800

Other neat facts about Matt:

He once wrestled an angry bull. And won.
He can accurately fire a rubber-band over 50 feet.
He daringly jumped 15 cars on a Honda moped.
He is capable of communicating with cats.
He once 'surfed' a motorcycle by standing on it's seat and gas-tank.
He can heal houseplants with his mind.
He is an accomplished time-traveler.
He can accurately predict the flight path of a garden bumble-bee.
He has saved the planet. Twice.
He has greater than Top Secret clearance. But he doesn't know it.
He smells pleasantly of cheese.
He can construct a particle accelerator using nothing more than a colander, a pocket watch, 20 feet of garden hose, and a turkey.
He is the member of a secret and ancient brotherhood who protect dark knowledge.
He has an iPhone. A 3rd generation iPhone.
His only weakness is kindness. And bullets.

[Disclosure: None of these are true. At least, none that I know of.]

By: felix betachat

felix betachat — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 12:57:50 -0800

Do you know what this post lacks?

Perspective.

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:00:29 -0800

binocular folks who are nonetheless (hilariously) incapable of doing magic eye puzzles.

Flagged as “insensitive bastard talk.”

I can almost see them, I see something in 3D, but it’s inverted and I can never make out what it is.

AND IT’S NOT HILARIOUS IT’S REALLY FRUSTRATING OK!!!

Next time I see you on the MeFi TF2 server I’m gonna play the “Cop With Taser” class.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:08:58 -0800

Mathowie can divide by zero.

By: de

de — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:13:38 -0800

i'm only half surprized. i always took mathowie to have eyes in the back of his head.

By: inigo2

inigo2 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:13:46 -0800

Confession time: I have never been able to do those things.

It's a schooner!!!

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:13:59 -0800

Also, why doesn't anyone make circular lenses anymore? That's all I want, is perfectly or almost perfectly circular jet black sunglasses. That would be so badass, and I'd run around like WHOOSH!

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:14:33 -0800

mods generally not naked while working on site, fyi.

I have video evidence to the contrary, bucko.

By: mullingitover

mullingitover — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:15:16 -0800

Can we just start the Matt Haughey Facts site and be done with it?

By: pineapple

pineapple — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:15:40 -0800

felix, I see what you're saying, but I prefer to view our comments as j ocular. I can't envision how this thread could have gone a more opthalmal direction. Don't get your iris up.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:21:56 -0800

Ah, it makes all those times he turned a blind eye to clear violations make sense now.

By: emd3737

emd3737 — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:28:51 -0800

Dick Vitale is blind in one eye. My dad used this knowledge to sneak up on his blind side and stuff him during a charity basketball game they played in together many years ago.

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:40:29 -0800

On the plus side, he can chill coke in two minutes with his good eye.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:01:25 -0800

What with it being an occupational hazard and all, plenty of fearless war leaders had just the one eye, like Lord Nelson, or my fave, Marshal Liu Bocheng, the "One-eyed Dragon," hero of the revolutionary war. Bet no-one had the guts to tell him to his face the epithet sounds vaguely like a euphemism for a penis.

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:04:42 -0800

Link Wray had only one lung.

(What? It's just as relevant as anything else.)

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:08:15 -0800

Something new? mathowie posted about the congenital defect in his eye on February 24, 2000.

By: Megafly

Megafly — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:15:13 -0800

On the Plus side, Every Movie is a 3D movie for Matt.

By: Lynsey

Lynsey — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:18:49 -0800

More apt than you'll ever know, calling #1 "Fearless Leader."

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:34:49 -0800

Can we just start the Matt Haughey Facts site and be done with it?

Did you lose the addres to the wiki? It is here.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 14:37:55 -0800

you know who else had only one eye?

that's right.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:01:02 -0800

Aye aye, Captain! Or...aye--to be more accurate.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:24:34 -0800

If mathowie has one eye
and he is king of metafilter
then it only stands to reason
that metafilter
is
the valley of the blind

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:25:29 -0800

Or is that the land of the blind?

I always confuse that
with the land
of the lost
because I am
a
sleestak

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:42:55 -0800

New nickname for Matt: Sylar-clops.

By: amyms

amyms — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:45:18 -0800

From the wiki:

Matthew Haughey (pronounced "Sqxyzpmnrthzchtplyk")

I'm so relieved. That's exactly how I've been pronouncing it all along!

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:52:56 -0800

You do realize, Haughey, that you have no right to be on MetaFilter if this "blind in one eye" stuff is self-diagnosed?

By: matildaben

matildaben — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:00:01 -0800

Me, too.

Leela on Futurama is my favorite character.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 16:42:46 -0800

Note: mods generally not naked while working on site, fyi.

Rockers, on the other hand....

whee, I feel so free....

By: casarkos

casarkos — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:01:35 -0800

Matt Haughey is Opticus Prime?

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 17:28:12 -0800

"You learn something new every day about fearless leader."

Huh, I was expecting that link to be about asavage for some reason.

By: davejay

davejay — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:52:07 -0800

I know a guy whose one-eyed trouser snake has two eyes.

I forget the specific cause, but there's a birth defect caused by a specific chemical exposure at a certain point in the pregnancy that this guy likely has.

By: Sticherbeast

Sticherbeast — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:57:41 -0800

MATT = ODIN

THINK ABOUT IT

By: pineapple

pineapple — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 22:16:52 -0800

I forget the specific cause, but there's a birth defect caused by a specific chemical exposure at a certain point in the pregnancy that this guy likely has.

If this guy likely has a pregnancy... well, I'd say that the two eyes of his trouser snake are the very least of his problem.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 04:47:52 -0800

Online spectacles? What a waste of a perfectly good opportunity to wear a monocle and dress up like the peanut guy.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 06:30:54 -0800

Matthew Haughey (pronounced "Sqxyzpmnrthzchtplyk")

Wow, so Matt is the Toltec god of cut rate pulque after all!

By: Arturus

Arturus — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 19:41:39 -0800

I'm not blind in one eye, but I'm sort of close. I have a pretty strong case of Amblyopia in my left eye, meaning that while the eye sees perfectly well (better than my 'good' eye, in fact), the signal isn't processed correctly and is mostly discarded. I don't see in stereo and it's nearly impossible for me to read with that eye. It also gets worse if I try to use it for any amount. Modern 3D movies can force stereoscopic vision on me, which makes them a rather nice novelty, but not actually more realistic or immersive or anything.