Comments on: I can haz marketshare?

I can haz marketshare?

jessamyn — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:34:52 -0800

AskMe #4 in Q&A site visits in the US according to Hitwise. Download the rest of the doc + chart here. Interesting news but I must say I've never even heard of Answerbag.

By: Razzle Bathbone

Razzle Bathbone — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:37:08 -0800

Ask Mefi, the Apple of Q&A sites?

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:40:58 -0800

Interesting.

AskMefi remains the only one I've seen that is worth a damn.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:41:06 -0800

Crazy. I had no idea we even register on anyone's radar, much less come in fourth.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:42:21 -0800

at 1.8% market share, more like the 1/10th of the Apple of Q&A sites.

By: sebas

sebas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:43:41 -0800

Oh noes, we've lost 4% marketshare!

By: sebas

sebas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:44:27 -0800

Ah no, we lost only 0.08%, that makes it a lot better!

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:44:32 -0800

If you read the document you'll see that it's fourth out of eight which looks better than four out of five. On the other hand, we're at like 2% and Yahoo Answers is at like 74% so it's more of a seven way tie for last. The WikiAnswers site is particularly... weird to me.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:44:49 -0800

The -4% change must be due to the unprofessional shade of green we have!

By: aramaic

aramaic — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:45:56 -0800

"Answerbag"? Good lord, who thought of that name? Answerbag? It just....I mean....it....

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:46:58 -0800

Yahoo Answers is at like 74%

74% of bad users.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:48:36 -0800

Before we ourselves on the back, take a look at the competition:

Do you smell anything right now?

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:52:06 -0800

Yahoo Answers might actually be the worst thing on the web. It infuriates me every time I search the whole of the web for an answer to something. "How do I get rid of cat dandruff?" Marked best answer: "u hav a cat haha ur gay, no taek it to a vetran LOL!" Fuck you, Yahoo.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:53:42 -0800

Do you smell anything right now?
I smell Junior Mints. It is nice.

I used to walk past the factory that made, among other things, Junior Mints every morning on the way to work. I always knew it would be a good day when I smelled Junior Mints as I walked by.

By: waraw

waraw — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 11:57:22 -0800

Hey, 17 year old self! I know you can't hear because the thread got closed, but I thought it was important to tell you that next year you'll try to set yourself on fire while drunk. Don't. K?

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:02:02 -0800

Or taking a more statistical approach, this is a list of the 7,074 questions in which the misspelling "bein" is used twice. See also, "dey be", "she frontin", and my personal favorite "dumb bitches".

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:03:34 -0800

"Answerbag"? Good lord, who thought of that name? Answerbag?

Because of metafilter, I learned that George Clooney's so rich, he was able to get the wrinkles in his Answerbag smoothed out.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:07:37 -0800

Startling omission. Startling.

Just sayin'.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:09:11 -0800

Oops, this is the correct link to search results for "she frontin". Yes, that link is important enough to fix.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:13:14 -0800

See also, "dey be", "she frontin", and my personal favorite "dumb bitches".

Hollabag!

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:15:41 -0800

"Answerbag"? Good lord, who thought of that name? Answerbag?

Well, at least they didn't go with their first idea, "Question Quim."

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:20:28 -0800

Holy shit, Pastabagel, that was indeed worth it. How come we don't get ask.metafilter questions like this?

what does "frontin" mean? I think my girlfriend has been doing this lately.. how can I make her keep doing it

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:24:25 -0800

Oh, dear sweet Jesus, the hits just keep on coming...

I take back everything I've ever said about RelationshipFilter, because wow.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:25:27 -0800

ma mate who live jus across the street has 3 rottweilers an evertime a go in his house da dogs are killin each other none have died yet theres a yet a think they are everully cuz they fight all the time he started off with 1 and 3 mounths later added 1 more an then 7 1/2 mounths later got another one he started of 4 years ago and now they start fightin they got introduced about 5 weeks ago and he used ta keep them in the loft he had 4 lofts and 3 dogs they were happy then introduced them they were happy then latly they started kilin them selves he dosn`t know wat ta do any sugestions

By: dirtdirt

dirtdirt — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:25:43 -0800

i smell my dog!! kinda smells lyk bubble gum!!

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:31:04 -0800

Also:

Anyone heard of Ask MetaFilter?

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:32:22 -0800

The mods are going to set up a filter that redirects Obama posts to Yahoo! Answers. Everyone wins!

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:35:07 -0800

from 9 months ago:

I went on to MetaFilter (for those of you who don't know, it is another question-answering site) and 43 Things, and they were so much gentler with very low hostility. For example, on MetaFilter, somebody asked the very some question I asked on here, and while I got a majority of unhelpful and flaming answers, all the answers there were at least in some way helpful. And, if a person was trying to disagree with the asker, they calmly explained their reasoning and did not flame the person with answers.

Metafilter: The Greatest Generation

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:36:21 -0800

jackin smackin wackin

Yahoo Answers is a freakin goldmine.

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:37:56 -0800

Yes but apparently Answerbag gives out points and medals!

Answerbag recognizes the most prolific members by awarding them points and medals, along with ranks. When a user receives points, the user levels up, but it takes more points for the user to level up the next time. The levels are as follows in order.
Level 1-2 Beginner
Level 3-4 Novice
Level 5-9 Contributor
Level 10-14 Wiz
Level 15-19 Authority
Level 20-29 Expert
Level 30-39 Professor
Level 40-49 Brain
Level 50-59 Sage
Level 60-69 Maestro
Level 70-79 Guru
Level 80-89 Swami
Level 90 Genius
As a user also receives points, as it adds together, the user may also qualify in the ranking system, ranking from 1-1000. The more points a user receives, the higher rank they will be.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:38:00 -0800

I think Hitwise's statistics people were drunk that day. Total hits increased 118% from the previous year. AskMe went from 1.88% of the total to 1.80% of the total. They list this as a 4% decline, since 1.80 is about 4% lower than 1.88. But the more useful analysis is either a 0.08 percentage-point (8 basis points!) decline in share. Even better is pointing out that a slightly-smaller traffic share still is equal to a 108% increase in overall traffic.

Not to mention that at AskMe, you get questions answered. But the rest of you guys got that covered.
How is babby formed?

By: cowbellemoo

cowbellemoo — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:49:19 -0800

lol just thot id let ya'll noe

my eyes!

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:49:30 -0800

I think that "how is babby formed" would pretty much have to be the title of a book examining the evolution of web-based Q&A sites.

I also think that someone should pay me an advance so I can write that book.

By: scrump

scrump — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:51:40 -0800

Then, she seems to be wanted to hug all up on her, and well i get mad you know?

HELP WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN MY BRAIN HURTS

By: Plutor

Plutor — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 12:58:42 -0800

Question: "Is O'Bama some knda Irish name or sumpin'? I just don't get the Barak part!"
Best answer: "Yea, I believe it is,"

By: box

box — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:00:42 -0800

cortex: I'll gladly PayPal you a twenty for an essay.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:01:18 -0800

A lot of those have to be trolls. I'm sure a lot of those are trolls. Please?

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:01:20 -0800

You've got to wonder, though, what would happen if Yahoo Answers were moderated to the extent that AskMe is. Or even half as well. Would everybody just flee, or would the good users (you've got to imagine they exist) hang around, even with the dramatic dropoff in volume? It just seems like such a wasted opportunity to actually help people.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:03:17 -0800

Dear Yahoo: I have a question.

The first answer is beyond brilliant.

By: ignignokt

ignignokt — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:05:49 -0800

How is babby formed somehow makes me forgive Yahoo Answers for sucking. I no longer feel that we have to do way instain wab siet.

Also, u r gay. That's some good advisin'!

By: Skot

Skot — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:08:33 -0800

im salty that i just wasted 2 seconds reading this crap.

YES. I am incorporating the phrase "I'm salty" into everyday conversation starting now. HERE I COME, WORLD!

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:10:22 -0800

I admit I sometimes go to Yahoo Answers and make subtle digs at the askers. Someone will ask, "k im in high scool n i wanna b a brain suregon..... idk what college would be good or what should i do????????" and I'll respond, "Study hard, you'll really need it. Good luck!"

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:10:31 -0800

You tried to be clever but sorry it didnt come across that way. your stupid. lol

I love you, Pastabagel.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:14:35 -0800

Dear Yahoo: I have a question.

Elapsed time between until first appearance of "grammer" in an answer: five minutes.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:15:51 -0800

between until

Dear self: your a looser.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:15:58 -0800

im salty that i just wasted 2 seconds reading this crap.

By: Melismata

Melismata — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:18:08 -0800

Pastabagel, the question was deleted. Do they actually have moderators at Yahoo?

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:20:50 -0800

Here's the question:
Why are people on Yahoo! Answers such illiterate dopes?
Yes, I'm talking to you. Please give me a detailed explanation for the idiocy I see on this site.

Some numbers:
335 questions on this site use the non-word "sumfin". Sumfin isn't a word. Do you see an 'f' in "something," or are you blind as well are dumb?

2,022 questions use the phrase "baby daddy", but zero questions use the phrase "sterilize me", which is unfortunate.

7,074 questions use "bein" TWICE. I understood after the first "bein" that you're a dimwit, you didn't need to repeat it.

59 questions with "she dont know me". I do. You're a moron.

409 questions about "dumb bitches" - they're smarter than you.

376 questions "wit dat" - how about "witless"?

I actually want an answer to my question - why are so many of you too mind-bogglingly stupid to string together an English sentence? Do your keyboards have normal letters on them, or do they just have big colorful buttons with "dey be", "you dont know me", and "damn!" written on them?

Thanks for answering. Kisses!
--

By: wtdoor

wtdoor — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:22:07 -0800

I thought all of Answers was just SEO spam. After looking at WikiAnswers, I still think so.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:31:30 -0800

Will Yahoo Answers ever be as good as Ask Metafilter?
Ask Metafilter consistently has good questions and excellent answers. My experience of Yahoo Answers so far is that it's a pale comparison. Will we ever get there?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Q & A is only as educated as the one asking or answering.
Hopefully.

And there you have it.

Also, this thread is making me laugh so hard I'm crying. (I'm salty.)

By: needled

needled — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:36:35 -0800

Answerbag's also got a librarian. This dude.

He has a Ph.D., does that mean AnswerBag trumps AskMe in terms of credentials?

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:48:53 -0800

a librarian.

Because he has testicles, he is an information scientist.

cortex, I will double box's offer. $40 for an essay?

One of the things that was really interesting to me about the SXSW panel I was part of was how many communities that we think of as nutso free-for-alls are actually sites that the owners think of as moderated. I made a few gratuitous digs at YouTube comments as being lowest common denominator nonsense and basically said that YouTube didn't seem in some ways like a community based on comments alone (I think there are sophisticated responding mechanisms between content that actually work better for this)

I met someone afterwards from the Google/YouTube family who said they really try, they just don't know what to do, the content comes in so fast etc. At some level, my opinion was that if maintaining the community were their main goal, and they could apply appropriate resources towards it they could handle it, but Google doesn't really care about maintaining YT as a community and so appropriate allocation of resources doesn't happen. I sort of stand by this and think the same thing about Yahoo Answers. I appreciate that it can be nice to interact in a place that doens't have such a labyrinth of rules and norms as this place, but it's really strange to see what passes for online interactions in the absence of some sort of admin oversign besides deleting the sketchy questions.

Also, you have my word, you will never level up here. This is both the good news and the bad news. Isn't Wiz spelled Whiz anyhow?

By: dg

dg — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:51:22 -0800

It seems to me that the 'filter is working perfectly - all the crap gets left outside and the best drips through into AskMe, including questions, answers and users.

By: odinsdream

odinsdream — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:56:15 -0800

10% of websites use images for tabular data!

By: cowbellemoo

cowbellemoo — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:57:20 -0800

Aww man. Their librarian has a motorcycle! Ours hangs out at the tuba museum...

/pouts

[jessamynist] ... I can has more Ubuntu install timelapses?

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 13:58:07 -0800

Guys I still has no idea how is babby formed

No reeally I ask every mroing and ppl just luagh at me

By: aramaic

aramaic — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:01:15 -0800

They have moderators at Yahoo?! I'm....stunned. Just stunned.

...but pause with me for a moment, and contemplate the suffering that doubtless goes on behind the pixelated walls at Yahoo. Just imagine the tidal wave of dreck that washes over them daily, the mindless ooze pouring out from every ethernet jack. Gibbering, drooling, wailing scum, resplendent ignorance made flesh, mindless lust and cruel insanity.

My god. They must be shoulder-deep in it over there. Think of it.

Weep for their sacrifice; they are holding back the very tide of the Idiot God.

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:05:13 -0800

What was that "web 2.0" "real time" Question/Answer site that we had a post on a while back? That thing was hopelessly screwed.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:06:19 -0800

Do u now....????
do u now dd or damion who lives in bloominton (IL) if u do do u now where the live at or if u are dd or damion please please go 2 the skatting rink from samara

By: Razzle Bathbone

Razzle Bathbone — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:06:19 -0800

Cowbellemoo: AnswerSack has a librarian. We have dozens of library people.

Metroid Baby: well first you need a Babby Daddy...

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:09:57 -0800

you have my word, you will never level up here.

What? What? What? So I've been grinding away, making 18 MetaTalk comments a day here since aught-six, for nothing?

Dass cold. Sumfin wrong wit dat.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:11:23 -0800

What is up with guys?

That's a resolved question, by the way. Ladies, the answer lies within.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:13:27 -0800

At some level, my opinion was that if maintaining the community were their main goal, and they could apply appropriate resources towards it they could handle it, but Google doesn't really care about maintaining YT as a community and so appropriate allocation of resources doesn't happen.

Exactly; it's the distinction between a community site with a given function x vs. an x-focused site trying to tack on a community. Two very different approaches—arguably that's the fundamental difference between AskMe and Y!A, and between a metafilter youtube-centric thread and the Youtube comments thread itself, and so on. Which is the cart and which is the horse depends entirely on your motivation, and at a certain scale you have to choose. Are you building an app, or a community?

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:14:55 -0800

Okay at first it was fun, but this person is obviously not 7 years old and is planning to reproduce:

How do u now if ur pregnant or not if u don't ever get ur monthly monster?
me and my husband have been try to have a baby for a few weeks now and i am not sure if i am pergent or not. i have not gottin my monthly monster in about 2 1/2 yrs. so i cant go by that. so if anyone can please help us we would really like that. thank u so much

Monthly monster? Oh and the best answer was "take a pregnancy test" although I suppose that it should have been a pergency test.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:15:12 -0800

Also, this thread is making me laugh so hard I'm crying.

Yeah, I was able to hold back the tears of laughter until:

Then, she seems to be wanted to hug all up on her, and well i get mad you know?

... which sounds like the prelude to a murder-confession if I ever did hear one.

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:16:00 -0800

Are you building an app, or a community?

Um... u r gay?

By: tomcooke

tomcooke — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:17:57 -0800

YES. I am incorporating the phrase "I'm salty" into everyday conversation starting now. HERE I COME, WORLD!

I'd never even heard of this expression before. Apparently, there's also "jump salty" meaning "to unexpectedly become enraged", which is equally awesome.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:19:29 -0800

Actually, sorry, I take that back; I was wrong to single out just that one. At least half of these sound like they should end with either:

n e way ther is a boddy now on my floor and i ddont kno if i can jus thro it in the trash or what is it okay for dogs to eat pepl

Or:

an his hart was goin like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes

By: needled

needled — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:21:01 -0800

tsk, don't forget to cite your source:

"Information science is librarianship practiced by men."

Gorman, Michael. (1990). A bogus and dismal science; or, the eggplant that ate library schools. American Libraries, 21(5), 462-463.

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:21:34 -0800

i"ve been talking 2 dis gurl rightand i wan"t 2 kno if she is a freak but i don't want 2 just flat out ask it like "hey, are you a freak". i wan't 2 do it in a way that is polite.

That's sweet.

next dai i call her..her ex picks up..n im like wtf!...so i kurk..then hang up.

Kurk? ... Kurk. Kurrrrrk!

By: dw

dw — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:27:04 -0800

These questions are on the front page of Answerbag at this moment:

How much is a pound worth in U.S. dollars? (7 answers)

Is it true that Geoffrey Chaucer (in real life) lost his clothes and had to walk around naked (like in the movie: A knights tale) (3 answers)

Do you think the U.S. would of been better off with Ron Paul as President? Especially after what recently is happening with the economy, and what he says here: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/blahblahblahredacted (1 answer)

Does fundamentalist preacher and anti-evolutionist Ted Haggard have a weekly conference call with George W. Bush? (2 answers)

It's like AskMe without moderation, Google-fu, or much else.

By: dersins

dersins — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:33:17 -0800

Then, she seems to be wanted to hug all up on her,

Wait... what? Is he talking about Jessamyn?

By: box

box — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:34:37 -0800

cortex, I will double box's offer. $40 for an essay?

Okay, the pool's at sixty bucks.

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:36:36 -0800

you have my word, you will never level up here.

What? What? What?

The mods're just trying to intimidate us so they can keep the epic level eq to themselves. Don't believe their lies.

By: Razzle Bathbone

Razzle Bathbone — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:38:19 -0800

cortex, I will double box's offer. $40 for an essay?

This is how some of the most important academic papers have started out.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:40:47 -0800

im pretty sure i didnt lose my virginity to the jungle gym.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:42:58 -0800

Man. I guess I should do a little research, then.

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:44:26 -0800

Jesus, I never realized what a goldmine of mountaintop lulz and center-of-the-earth roiling despair YA is. Thanks so much for this guided tour. Is there a place where I can wash all the sticky off?

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:51:57 -0800

Why? Did you get salty?

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:53:19 -0800

Q. Wut is sex? i no wut it is but wut actually happenes gimme real answers not fakes!!
A. STD's, AIDS, BABIES

Oh my god. I have been doing it all wrong.

By: slogger

slogger — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:55:58 -0800

Epic lulz, indeed!

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 14:56:06 -0800

Why? Did you get salty?

Yes, but not in the manner I'd prefer.

By: box

box — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:12:48 -0800

I'm not gonna lie to you--flagging a thousand comments was quite a grind. Is that comment really offensive? Is it a derail if the bridge has already collapsed and the train's in the river? Who cares? I needed to capture those flags.

And answering a hundred AskMe questions wasn't easy. My Google autocomplete is filled with a bunch of goofy crap, I may have contracted a venereal disease, and I'm still making payments on that goddamn Macbook.

But now that I've leveled up, and earned the Theme of Plainness and the Bottomless Mailbox--man, it was all worth it.

By: yeti

yeti — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:14:24 -0800

Yahoo Answers: IF I WERE YOU , I WOULD STAY WITH METAFILTER.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:16:23 -0800

Cortex, I'll throw in another $40 to make it $100 even, but I get a signed copy.*

* I promise to not (try to) sell it on eBay for at least six months.

If you do write it please email me about collecting the cash, as I'll have long forgotten my promise by then.

By: Melismata

Melismata — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:17:37 -0800

Hey, be nice to these people! Who else is going to grow up and clean your offices and bathrooms some day?!

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:30:11 -0800

The ali g interviews Noam Chomsky YT link.

By: gauchodaspampas

gauchodaspampas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:34:55 -0800

Yahoo answers just helped me answer this question. That's about the only positive experience I've had with them though.

By: Locative

Locative — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:39:44 -0800

Is Yahoo Answers Vicious or What?

i asked people if i was pretty and at least 3/4 of the answers said things like 'pretty as a bulldog" or "you need some style tips....like alot" I asked this question on meta filter using the same picture and almost every answer was kind or at least hanest (you aren't that pretty, but if u got a haircut, i think yo'd look a lot better)

Pony request: AmIPrettyFilter.

Also, I will tell you you're pretty if you can find this AskMe in the archives.

By: loiseau

loiseau — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:41:41 -0800

Maybe I should really be hanging out over at Yahoo! Answers, because I keep giggling at the name "Answerbag".

I've never even seen 'er bag!

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:46:57 -0800

Say what you like about Yahoo answers, but I sincerely believe that they need to do way instain mother> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back?
it was on the news this mroing a mother in ar who had kill her three kids . they are taking the three babby back to new york too lady to rest my pary are with the father who lost his chrilden ; i am truley sorry for your lots

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:54:00 -0800

haha wow yea i agree with u!!!

By: mrmojoflying

mrmojoflying — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 15:54:52 -0800

Also, you have my word, you will never level up here.

You just level down as user numbers increase. By the time we get into the deep six figures our average user will be so beneath our permissible standard in basic education that we will be totally unable to help them because we will be laughing so hard. At least we will be able to use their contibutions for a nice AskMe parody site.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:08:04 -0800

You mean there are other Q&A sites?

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:15:48 -0800

If we thought she was pretty and Yahoo Answers didn't, does that mean we're uglier than Yahoo Answers? OMG ONOZ

Then again, if I had to pick between Seven Minutes in Heaven with a randomly selected MeFite or a randomly selected Yahoo Answererer, I'd pick the MeFite. I'm not sure those guys wouldn't try sticking a tongue in my nostril.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:16:25 -0800

The -4% change must be due to the unprofessional shade of green we have!

No, actually the latest Troll-state propaganda has it that the glorious Mefi motherland is wilting in the face of superior technological competitors ! Beware decadent democratic popularity-seeking! The Party already knows the minds of all citizens and our diligent moderating heros must continue to enforce the lessons of years of collective toil!

By: scrump

scrump — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:19:06 -0800

Cortex, I'll throw in another $40 to make it $100 even, but I get a signed copy.*

I'll throw in $40 if I get a signed copy AND the total proceeds go to MeFi.

By: scrump

scrump — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:19:21 -0800

(which should bring us up to $140)

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:24:46 -0800

Also, I will tell you you're pretty if you can find this AskMe in the archives.

Is this it?

No? Okay, I guess we could try harder. The Y!A poster who mentioned her prettiness experiences at Yahoo and at AskMe has posted three questions on Yahoo on the subject, all about ten months ago. In order from oldest:

Am i pretty? be honest!!?
Am i preety?
I got a makeover! how do i look now?

At ten months back or so (odd that Yahoo doesn't seem to provide exact date stamps on posts, just relative times), and assuming (perhaps incorrectly?) that the AskMe experience was close to concurrent, we'd be looking for a question from around May of last year, give or take.

A search of askme posts with "attractive" doesn't turn up any likely matches; "preety" was too much to hope for, no dice there (though there are a few unrelated hits, covering both intentional wordplay and typos).

The word "pretty" is awfully common: 5,749 askme posts contain the word, though mostly as an qualifier ("pretty good English", "pretty confident that..."). Oof. May 31st shows up around page 101 of the 288 pages of results; May 1st hits on page 112. A quick scan of the questions on those 12 pages turns up nothing promising. Hrm.

So, possible reasons I'm not finding it:

- It wasn't asked in that date range. Totally possible; expanding the date range could help.
- It didn't use the word "pretty". Possible; synonyms might be the answer. Maybe check against text of Yahoo questions for other likely vocab.
- Question never got asked; Yahooite is fibbing.

That's all I've got for now.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:26:06 -0800

- It was deleted?

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:30:52 -0800

I hate my boyfriend for keeping it from me him emailimg lab partner i cant get over it please help me i hate him

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:33:23 -0800

This can't be real. Can it?

I have a new African American girlfriend so I am trying to speak Black around her to let her know that I am cool with it.

When we go out and people ask how I am doing I always say, "ya know I be jackin it." I heard it off of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. I watch Fresh Prince and BET to try to pick up their speech and mannerisms. I'm 45 and this is my second girlfriend so I REALLY want to get it right!

Thanks for your help!

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:33:49 -0800

"I am incorporating the phrase 'I'm salty' into everyday conversation starting now. HERE I COME, WORLD!

I'd never even heard of this expression before."

George Carlin used it on his "Take-Offs and Put-Ons" album - it was uttered by the "Congolia Breckenridge" character after her sister (Tandalayo) lost on a game show and Congolia was sent back home without getting to reunite with her.

I used to listen to that record over and over when my parents were out.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:34:05 -0800

Metroid Baby: I'm not sure those guys wouldn't try sticking a tongue in my nostril.

So that's what I've been doing wrong!

By: owhydididoit

owhydididoit — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:39:18 -0800

IF I WERE YOU , I WOULD STAY WITH METAFILTER.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:40:16 -0800

- It was deleted?

Ooh, good point. Lemme check askme deletions from that period. A couple other possibilities, for that matter:

- stunning shift in register made it unidentifiable on a quick scan. (Doubt this; if the substance was the same and the word "pretty" was in there, I'd have checked it out.)
- prettiness question was embedded in other substantially different question.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:47:18 -0800

I'm not sure those guys wouldn't try sticking a tongue in my nostril.

So that's what I've been doing wrong!

Haven't you been paying attention?

When you reach the wrinkle of her nostrils, bury your lips deeply into the curve and kiss little niblets into first one and then the other. If her eyes still are closed, repeat the process. But return to the lips." -- from "The Art of Kissing" by Hugh Morris (1936).
posted to MeFi by not_on_display at 6:48 PM on March 3, 2008

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:50:51 -0800

They should change their name to Ax Yahoo! (or maybe Aks Yahoo!).

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:53:53 -0800

Ew. Niblets? Forget it, I'm not making out with anyone anywhere ever again.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:54:31 -0800

kiss niblets!

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:01:50 -0800

Kiss niblets featured in 9 1/2 weeks, if I'm not mistaken.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:12:14 -0800

Nothing obvious in the deletions. C'est la vie. (I did come across this, though.)

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:18:15 -0800

I thought it was obvious that person was lying since that question would have been deleted if it were posted.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:29:58 -0800

Who knows, puke & cry. Stranger things, etc. What really makes me question it is the idea that this person would toss $5 at us, though. But then, they are kind of adventurous:

i don't know about the aerosol can, but if you put one in a bonfire it will explode, sending metal everywhere (i tried this) Also, if you put a CD in the microwave for 1 second it will get fuzzy. (i also tried this)

So who knows.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:35:51 -0800

BTW, How long would it take to eat a car made of Skittles?

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:16:16 -0800

I can't stop laughing! Oh, God, "Aks Yahoo"...

When you all read those questions like "Iight my aunt iz feedin my cuzz baby pop cake chips junk food hes 6 moths iz dat bad dat day doin dat 2 hw?" do you find yourself reading at maybe one word per second? At this point I have to read this aloud. "Iz...dat...bad dat day, okay is that bad, is it bad that they, okay...dat day doin dat...that they're doing that, right...doin dat 2 hw...doing that to...to...to what? too how? to homework?"

ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?

By: lukemeister

lukemeister — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:42:23 -0800

Poontang is that a astronauts drink or some kind of food is it good what flavor does it come in?
always hear people talking about how good it is

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:56:00 -0800

my problem is that when i want to be in a serious relationship and we last for a long time i know he will want to have sex any boy would and i cant loose it to him and if i dont give him sex he'll end up cheating on me and thats what i dont want so i decided i'll probably give him anal.you think god will punish me for that?

By: Melismata

Melismata — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:05:27 -0800

*sobbing from laughing* oh please, put this on the sidebar, or vote it best f--ing thread of the year, or create a ROTFL flag, or something, what a shame for this post to just fade away into the archives!

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:14:52 -0800

you think god will punish me for that?

So their god apparently is a sort of dim-witted lawyer who will be forced to let them into heaven because they obeyed the letter of the law rather than the spirit of it?

By: middleclasstool

middleclasstool — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:18:32 -0800

poon...tang...too...much...fuckity...ass balls....

*dies*

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:29:55 -0800

The little sister of a guy I knew in high school used to let her boyfriend fuck her in the ass so that she could stay a virgin. I think that it is actually not all that uncommon. As long as you don't lose your virginity to the jungle gym, and you only let boys fuck you in the ass, then you are still a virgin and you get to go to heaven when you die. It is actually pretty simple.

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:42:05 -0800

ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER, DO YOU SPEAK IT?
posted by Pastabagel at 6:16 PM on March 19 [+] [!]

Its worth noting that that question was understood perfectly by the answerer.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:19:41 -0800

From what I've heard, assfucking to preserve "virginity" is reasonably common amongst Mediterranean girls from conservative families here - Greeks, Lebanese & Turks, especially.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:28:39 -0800

Man, those poontang answers were pathetically off the mark. As we all know, it mostly comes in 9V battery flavour.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:41:53 -0800

ubu: From what I've heard, assfucking to preserve "virginity" is reasonably common amongst Mediterranean girls from conservative families here - Greeks, Lebanese & Turks, especially.

Thin walls in your apartment building?

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:57:20 -0800

From what I've heard, assfucking to preserve "virginity" is reasonably common amongst Mediterranean girls from conservative families here - Greeks, Lebanese & Turks, especially.

I've heard this also. Of course, it is somewhere in the extremely strict interpretations of virgin that included the presence of a hymen, so cultures with a stronger orthodox or catholic influence (where I am sure there are volumes written about such things) would see butt sex = teh safe sex.

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:14:23 -0800

omg legendary

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:54:02 -0800

Who else is going to grow up and clean your offices and bathrooms some day?!

hai i kleen ofises! tat maks me saltee!

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 22:59:15 -0800

am i the only one here wanting to re-post Anonymous AskMes to Yahoo Answers, just to see the difference in advice?

naturally, if the AskMe contains too much contextual detail, i'd respect Anon's privacy, but vague & generic questions like this one are just calling for that kind of treatment.

By: spiderskull

spiderskull — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:08:55 -0800

You're making fun of the uneducated majority?

Awesome. Very progressive.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 23:19:50 -0800

But I do clean offices. I'm more sour with occasional hints of sweetness than salty, though.

By: Rhaomi

Rhaomi — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 02:07:34 -0800

I wouldn't really mind Y!A if they didn't insist on clogging up Google search results so much. Normally Google limits this quasi-spam by condensing all results from the site into one listing with a "more results from this site" link. But apparently Yahoo! has automatic translation software running, reposting the same questions and answers in different languages under multiple subdomains that all show up as separate results.

Also, here's my all-time favorite Q&A:

Q: My 2 pet Rabbits are having sex with each other and they are both male, should they be put to sleep?
My wife is very religious and thinks this is an offense against god and wants the destroyed, but i love them dearly. What should I do??

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Listen to your wife. Have them put down. They are *******.

Source(s):
The Bible, God

Asker's Rating: *****
Too ******* right son!!!
We can become so strong on this!!!!!

By: the littlest brussels sprout

the littlest brussels sprout — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:07:16 -0800

How long would it take to eat a car made of Skittles?

This should be a gameshow, like "Name That Tune."

"I can eat that Skittle car in 8 minutes."
"Well, I can eat that Skittle car in 5 minutes."
"Prove it!"

EAT ... THAT ... CAR!

By: urbanwhaleshark

urbanwhaleshark — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 03:11:14 -0800

For the sake of the human race let's hope SkyNet's artificial intelligence has it's roots in the archive of Yahoo Answers.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 07:02:26 -0800

I'll throw in $40 if I get a signed copy AND the total proceeds go to MeFi.

You realize that'd be like donating the proceeds...to myself? (And actually, if'n I write this sucker up and folks feel like making good on silly metatalk pledges, I have a personal good cause in mind, but that's all kind of pre-emptive since my capacity for laziness is well matched to my capacity for engaging in freakshow side projects.)

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 07:45:33 -0800

You're making fun of the uneducated majority?

Awesome. Very progressive.

Never gotten why being "progressive" is supposed to include apologetics for stupidity, ignorance, delusionality, weakness, self-destruction, etc., though I encounter this idea all the time.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:12:20 -0800

The comments in this thread disappoint me more than anything I've read on Yahoo! Answers.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:20:51 -0800

cortex: "How long would it take to eat a car made of Skittles?"

The 2008 Toyota Camry was the best selling car of Jan 2008 and also was for 2007. (The Camry has actually been the best selling car for every year since 1997 except for 2001.) So we'll use that as our example. The 2008 Camry is 4.805 m x 1.820 m x 1.470 m. Let's assume an ellipsoid vehicle for ease of calculation. Volume = 4/3 * pi * a * b * c, so the volume is 6.731 m³.

A skittle is roughly an ellipsoid about 12.7 x 12.7 x 6.5mm in size. Random close packing is 64% efficient. So a packed volume of Skittles would need about 6861 mm³ of space per candy.

The volume would be packed with roughly 980,000 skittles.

I just bought a pack of Skittles. I can eat a single Skittle in about 20 seconds, or a handful of 20 Skittles in 90 seconds. Assuming you're eating handfuls of skittles 24 hours a day, with no breaks for using the toilet, vomiting, eating anything else, sleeping, or crying in a corner, it would take you 51 days to eat that volume of Skittles.

(That number will change significantly if you are only eating an amount of Skittles equal in volume to the physical parts of a car. A car is mostly empty space. The best I can figure is the EPA passenger volume for the 2008 Camry is 101.4 ft³, or 2.871 m³. Subtracting that empty space would be 562,000 Skittles or 29 days of eating.)

Bonus: Skittle Touch for GURPS.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:21:52 -0800

DAMN YOU HTML ENTITIES!

By: Melismata

Melismata — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:03:18 -0800

Plutor: since most of us really do have to sleep, could you please recalculate? Probably useful to add 1 hour per day of vomiting or the toilet.

*still sobbing*

By: the dief

the dief — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:36:56 -0800

Hey wait, I have testicles and am a librarian and now I'm confused and a little sad.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:41:10 -0800

I'd take Melismata's objection further: please consider refactor for a reasonable daily limit of skittles intake. Even a 16-hour day of nonstop Skittle-ettin' is nuts on the face of it—we need to cap it at whatever the lesser is of stomach capacity, digestive capacity, and maybe sugar/etc toxicity on a daily basis. (We'll presume someone's other dietary/nutritional needs can be met through nominal supplemental intake of vitamins, concentrated snacks, etc.)

On the other hand, a Camry "made of" Skittles wouldn't necessarily be a solid block of skittles, so the idea of packing an ellipsoid volume is flawed in that it overestimates the volume of the Camry itself; there's a lot of empty space within the cab, under the hood, in the trunk. Even in the tires, when you get right down to it. So we can mitigate some of the limiting intake factors somewhat by reducing the estimated volume of Skittles here.

Also, I'm deeply in love with you.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:42:16 -0800

That number will change significantly if you are only eating an amount of Skittles equal in volume to the physical parts of a car.

I was so distracted by your entity gaffe that I skipped right over the substance of this paragraph. Forgive the implication above that you didn't duly consider this aspect.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 09:52:10 -0800

What kind of gas mileage will the Skittle-Camry get? Is there a hybrid version? Is there one that runs on harp seal pups?

By: ikkyu2

ikkyu2 — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:04:27 -0800

You can take a wiz out of your AnswerBag, but you can never take an Answerbag out of a wiz.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:06:23 -0800

If you bought the skittles in 61.5g bags of approximately 50 skittles, your car's-worth of skittles would be 11,240 bags and weigh a mere 691kg. (At 75 cents per bag, it'd cost $8,430.)

The (oral, rat) LD50 for glucose (the main sweetener in Skittles) is 25,800 mg/kg. There's 47g of sugar in a bag. An 80kg person would only be able to eat just over 2kg of sugar per "dose" (per day?), or 44 bags, or 2200 individual candies. Adding this requirement that you don't want to poison yourself, it would take you 128 days to eat a car's worth of candies. Luckily, at full speed, this would be less than three solid hours of Skittle-eating per day, so you'd have plenty of time to spend on the toilet, in bed, and at the ER getting your stomach pumped. But you'd be eating over 10,000 Calories in those three hours.

(I used the lower number -- 562k Skittles -- for these followup calculations.)

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:12:02 -0800

Maybe at that rate you'd still poison yourself with citric acid or red 40 lake? I don't know. Anything besides sugar is impossible to quantify on the nutrition facts.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:13:49 -0800

In the post-apocalyptic future, when I meticulously construct my Skittle-car to kill time and hopefully escape from the barricaded and ransacked Wal-Mart where I am hiding from the zombie hordes, I will pimp my ride by blowtorching the exterior so that my escape vehicle has a smooth and continuous candy hull.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:22:57 -0800

I guess one question that arises, then, is this: at 3 hours and 10,000 calories a day (and presuming no toxicity issues from non-sugar ingredients complicating the situation), could our automotive snackathoner use the remaining hours of the day to (a) balance things out nutritionally with other food/supplements/antidotes and (b) get in enough physical activity to nominalize their calorie surplus for the day.

Also, stomach pumping or other means of non-digestively ejecting the Skittles seems like cheatin'.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:28:37 -0800

And structurally, what's holding these skittles together? 691kg is a lot of load, and Skittles plus some aggregate (possibly melted Skittle? or what if the whole car was liquid Skittle poured into moulds?) to hold things in place may or may not have the structural integrity to support the whole shebang. And if it's a non-Skittle aggregate, we might have to consider the nutritional implications of that as well.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:29:52 -0800

s/aggregate/cement/g

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:54:17 -0800

If they did moderate workouts on an elliptical, at 80kg they would burn 1100 calories/hour, so 7-8 hours to compensate for the calorie intake.

The other option is to factor in how much they could practically do both, which would probably be at the extreme, 2-3 hours a day of moderate ellipitical use.

So they can offest 3k calories via exercise, and consume a total of 5-5.5k in calories in skittles. They would probably also need some significant protein intake also, so lets give them 500 calories of chicken, which would be around 12 oz or 90g of protein. Also, lots of vitamin supplements.

at 5k calories from skittles, be around 6 7.2 ounce bags a day for 256 days.

at $16.85 a bag from amazon, and lets face it, you will be too busy to do anything else but order from amazon, that would be $25,881.60 or just about the cost of a camry. no including shipping.

That is not factoring in the extra $1100 or so for the elliptical, or the ensuing medical costs for your diabetes and kidney failure.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 10:57:57 -0800

And structurally, what's holding these skittles together?

Bubble gum?

other means of non-digestively ejecting the Skittles

Ugh.

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:01:36 -0800

Also, for more fun, i was thinking they wanted to know how many bags of skittles it would take to cover the exterior of a car, not including windows.

I leave this to the people with the copy mathematica installed.

By: jedicus

jedicus — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:12:51 -0800

To address the issue of whether the Skittle-car would require a non-Skittle cement or binder, I did some research to determine the strength of sugar.

What I found indicates that (highly) compressed sugar has a compressive strength of about 80 kg/cm². This compares favorably to 48 kg/cm² for low-density balsa wood.

Plutor estimates that the entire Skittle-car would weigh about 691kg, which means the whole weight of the vehicle could be supported in less than 9 cm². Now, obviously, the ground contact area of a car is larger than that, so I think we're okay on compressive strength.

Tensile strength, on the other hand, is a whole 'nother matter. The data I found suggests that the tensile strength of sugar cake is a lot lower than even low-density balsa wood. I think some clever design and molding may be required to make a self-supporting Skittle-car.

The issue could be sidestepped by using a non-edible frame to support the Skittle-car. The weight and volume of the frame would not be accounted for in the Skittle-car's creation, so the total Skittle mass would be the same as in a self-supporting car.

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:21:44 -0800

Alternatively, we could flex somewhat on what we mean by a Skittle-car; what if, instead, we were to melt our Skittle material down and pour a series of of several hundred or several thousand moulded miniature cars? It would certainly simplify the question of taking bites, too.

Heretical, perhaps.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:27:07 -0800

Or, it could be one giant Skittle that was partially hollowed out and had wheels.

In any case, I think a heat wave would spell doom for this endeavor.

By: aramaic

aramaic — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:32:37 -0800

Definitely go with the melted Skittles, IMHO. You can use the sludge more or less like glue to hold non-melted Skittles together. The end result being sort of like edible concrete.

...as for the structural design, take lessons from the concrete industry. I think we can avoid placing large areas in tension, as long as we're careful to use Skittle-struts to support horizontal elements. Any non-loadbearing section should be as thin as practicable -- no more than a couple Skittles thick.

I wonder if ACI316 could be adapted to use Skittle values? That would simplify a lot of the engineering.

Finally, Skittle-brau will need to be involved. That's mandatory, I'm afraid.

By: Metroid Baby

Metroid Baby — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:48:05 -0800

I can't remember if tropical Skittles or sour Skittles make the best Skittlebrau, but I know I've tried both and gotten pretty loaded. Not too different from Leinenkugel's Berry Weiss if you like that stuff, but I seem to be the only person who does.

Anyway, I'd recommend putting Skittlemobile in a giant blender and using a straw. With or without the brau.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:58:24 -0800

Question:
I am just looking for a used car... what's all this?
Additional details:
The car is the size of a civic. You have to eat some every day.

In addition, I would like to thank Metafilter for informing me about what a lethal dose of Skittles is. Rest assured I will never cross that line.... again.

By: ssg

ssg — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:58:48 -0800

I thought Plutor's estimate of 691kg for a Skittles car sounded a little off, so I did a quick calculation. Using the data on car composition from this fine PDF and a few density values that I threw in, I estimate that a typical Skittles car would be 716kg (I'm approximating Skittles with pure glucose here). My hat goes off to Plutor, who obviously has much better estimation skills than I.

By: ssg

ssg — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:04:35 -0800

I didn't realize we were discussing a Civic. Make that 622kg.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:07:15 -0800

Duh! If you lick the skittles the outside turns to GBH, and that sticks them together. It was on the newz!

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:09:10 -0800

I think Tehanu's idea of cutting the skittlecar from a single megaskittle is the best idea yet in this thread.

Also, did you know there are chocolate skittles? It's true.

Finally, skittlebrau.

By: ssg

ssg — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:15:02 -0800

mrzarquon: That's 12 7.2 oz packages for $16.85 at Amazon, so your Skittle Civic would only cost about $4279.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:26:31 -0800

When did my idealized hollow ellipsoid 2008 Toyota Camry become a Civic?

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:32:31 -0800

About two minutes before I used a case of Mr. Goodbars to fashion a crude spoiler fin for it.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:05:24 -0800

I wonder how long after the engine is started the spoiler fins will melt.

Alas, I do not know how to find or make a MetaSkittle, Mister_A. But I have a dream.

By: needled

needled — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:20:04 -0800

Yes, but would the carbon footprint of a Hummer H2 made of Skittles be less than a Prius made of Skittles?

By: mygothlaundry

mygothlaundry — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:41:57 -0800

I think that LD50 for Skittles is way too high. I base this on the fact that my old crazy hound dog, who would eat anything else in the world, including but not limited to half burned logs, foam rubber, CDs, rugs, all fruits, vegetables and vast quantities of paper, would not touch a Skittle. Therefore, Skittles must be really seriously poisonous, far more so than previously imagined. However, I will also attest that if you need something to shoot out of car windows at roadside signs with a high powered slingshot, Skittles make an excellent pinging noise and they're theoretically biodegradable, so no harm done.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:01:46 -0800

Your dog is weird. I had a dog, a dachschund - standard, a real dog, not one of those yippy little toy ones. I mean a standard dachschund is a strong hardy short-legged beast with a big mouth. I'm going somewhere with this.

Anyway, my mom hid all these Easter eggs and we were supposed to find 'em. A dozen hard-boiled eggs in all, colored in gay pastels for the occasion. My brother and sister and I were flummoxed after 10 or 15 minutes of fruitless (eggless really) searching. "Really hid the shit outta those eggs," my 4-year-old sister grumbled, hands on hips. I'm paraphrasing here.

Anyway, eventually we find one fat-bellied dachschund lying in the grass with colored eggshell bits on his lips. He'd eaten every one of the eggs.

And you know how chocolate is supposed to be bad for dogs? This dog ate my entire Halloween stash on like the 1st or 2nd of November. This was in about 1980 or so, one of my last trick-or-treating years. You must know, trick-or-treating was for me an extreme sport. I had a standard pillowcase filled to bursting with candy, having trekked 5-6 miles through the New Jersey suburbs to fill it (ours was not a particularly dense suburb at the time). The dog ate, in a single sitting (which must have degenerated into a squatting, then a lying), several pounds of low-grade Halloween candy, including "chocolate" and probably some chocolate. He also consumed the wrappers and things, some of which were foil, and none of which were food. He did not eat the fruit or the pennies, though. His belly literally dragged on the ground when he finally mustered the energy to slink off into the kitchen. Goddamn dog. Naturally we didn't call poison control or anything because we didn't know about the hazards of dogs eating enormous quantities of Halloween candy. He lived many more years, and continued to entertain with his gastronomic feats.

The point is, do not park any candy-based vehicles anywhere near a standard dachschund.

By: slogger

slogger — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:25:18 -0800

This conversation has taken a very strange turn. I shall continue to monitor this discussion.

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 15:37:09 -0800

We are being monitered. Repeat. We are being monitored. Abort Operation Rainbow Delicious. Repeat. Abort.

By: Gortuk

Gortuk — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:50:40 -0800

Sorry to distract from the vital question at hand, but I have to plug my favourite Yahoo! Answers search, "52 states"

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:40:27 -0800

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:51:47 -0800

And grapes, I think.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 19:52:44 -0800

wie gehtd as warte ...cat i am a kity cat and i miau miau miau miau an di am miau miau miau...??? ich fnd das voll geil :P

By: ignignokt

ignignokt — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 22:41:55 -0800

gortuk: That was awesome. Or as they'd say on Yahoo Answers, "LOLOLOL!!"

I totally want to live in a secret Jewish state, and I'm going to search for those huge doors tomorrow. I think I saw them once.

By: Dillonlikescookies

Dillonlikescookies — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:36:10 -0800

epic thread.
Skittles and Yahoo! Answers have a long and profound history together..!

My favourite.. "and i no this sounds childish but i just really hate all the bad affects of tobacoo, so iam going to trying something new..."

I never knew candy could have such a profound effect on society.

By: Dillonlikescookies

Dillonlikescookies — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 04:39:13 -0800

oh, maybe not.
Are skittles made from pig fat???????
because all my bffs r talking about it! I need to know if I need to stay away from skittles."

"100% pig fat you're bffs's are genius's"

"thats what i thought"

AskMeFI has some serious competition. Matt, we need to up our game here! we cannot afford to have a QUESTION GAP!

By: mrzarquon

mrzarquon — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 10:08:14 -0800

Mister_A, If I recall, I think it's the theobromide in chocolate that is poisonous to dogs. When they gorge on cheap milk chocolate I suspect the fat slows down their digestion enough that a lot of the theobromide makes it out of their system before they digest it. I suspect if you whipped up some kind of non-fat cocoa desert that it'd be super poisonous. I may be talking out my ass though. (Also, leeks garlic and onions are supposed to be poisonous to dogs as well)

This is pretty much correct. Most cheap candies are not instant death for dogs (don't feed them it, but they wont die if they eat a single m&m).

And yes, grapes are bad, raisins are seriously much worse.

For more information: http://dogs.about.com/cs/disableddogs/a/poison_food.htm

i decided not to link to the yahoo answer i found

Also, Lilly's are bad news for cats.

So I am going to the Washington State Cask Brewers festival tomorrow (an event so important it needs capitalization), should I bring some skittles with me, to kick their beers up a notch?