Comments on: Performance art?

Performance art?

mudpuppie — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:26:40 -0800

What's going on with these two relationship threads? Poster #1 asks if she should dump her boyfriend because, come on, she can get someone handsomer. (Turns out it's not the first time, or second time, she's considered getting rid of him.) Poster #2 who -- OMG! -- turns out to be the boyfriend, asks how he can be better to this woman who is "beautiful, intelligent, funny, thoughtful, open-minded and communicative." Someone recognizes that poster #2 lists poster #1 as a contact (and sweetheart), and poster #2 admits that yes, they're a couple. Poster #1 closes account. Poster #3 ponies up $5 TODAY and posts supportive comments in each of their threads. Which are promptly buh-leeted. Either the Green is being gamed, or MySpace was full tonight. Is it, perhaps, reasonable to kill the two AskMes out of respect, basically, for people who offered legitimate advice to people who don't seem all that legitimate?

By: SassHat

SassHat — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:32:35 -0800

Ooooooh! Popcorn time, they're a-killing in MeTa!

By: Miko

Miko — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:34:53 -0800

Hey, this is a good one. What's the game, kiddos? Good catch, mudpuppie. Weirdness.

By: Stewriffic

Stewriffic — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:35:52 -0800

Oh MY!

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:40:56 -0800

MetaGrassi: The Next Generation

By: moxiedoll

moxiedoll — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:45:01 -0800

oh boy! I choose to believe that it's not performance art - I want it to be real. Because I spent some time today feeling sorry for the girl who gets sniped at all the time - and angry at the girl who thinks her boyfriend is wonderful but don't you agree I could get someone handsomer? Finding out that they are the same girl cheers me up!

By: DarlingBri

DarlingBri — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:48:36 -0800

Mudpuppie, thanks for posting this. I was severely peeved about this before contestant #1 left the stadium. Now I'm really pissed off. I invested my time and good will in those threads, dammit.

I would not kill the posts, however. I would kill the posters. With a big, big ban hammer.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:51:22 -0800

Dear Aksme, how do i reconcile all of these contradictions in myself i don't want to be human kthxbai o and heers 5 bux

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:56:42 -0800

Poster #1 has disabled her account...

By: cortex

cortex — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:58:13 -0800

If it's performance art, it has been done with a tremendous amount of care, since there's no apparent relationship between either of the two main accounts or between either of them and the new one, and the new account checks out to a living breathing human with a paper trail on the net.

I think the whole thing is kind of bizarre, but I think it's also all more or less genuine. I'm not sure there's any reason to close the existing askme questions (barring a request from the poster(s) to do so).

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 01 May 2008 20:59:45 -0800

Oh, you already said that. That said, these people are creepy and should go back to MySpace.

By: zeph

zeph — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:06:19 -0800

As you said in Poster #2's thread, this all does feel pretty darned icky. But if there is performance art going on, it feels to me like it's crafted by each of them to be directed at the other, saying things they can't quite say directly, or else leveraging whatever "oomph" they can through stating their side publicly and getting sympathy in some public forum - "Of course I'd never say so to your face but, well, I am thinking you're not quite hot enough for me" ... "Look, see, I know I'm not worthy of you but I'm trying, oh how I'm trying so hard to be and all these people support me!" ... in other words, I don't know that they're really trying to get anything out of us other than some audience or medium through which they talk to each other ...

Nevertheless, it's certainly an interesting little situation so thanks for pointing it out, huzzah for these random weird mefi blurps!

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:11:46 -0800

I liked the ending of the original Degrassi series where everyone graduated and then died, got pregnant or got horribly injured in a traffic accident.

That is all.

By: LobsterMitten

LobsterMitten — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:14:13 -0800

I said "eww" about each of those questions without even opening them, and now I feel triple vindicated. Eww.

By: mudpuppie

mudpuppie — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:16:35 -0800

If it's performance art, it has been done with a tremendous amount of care, since there's no apparent relationship between either of the two main accounts or between either of them and the new one...

It seems too unrandom to me NOT to be some sort of performance. Maybe, as Zeph said, it's some sort of sly, passive-aggressive lovers' spat. But the involvement of the newly signed-up Person #3, in both threads -- which is the sum total of his involvement here -- seals the deal of suspicion for me.

It doesn't have to be a single perpetrator for it to be calculated. And, again, it just seems too un-random for it NOT to be calculated.

Then again, I'm bad at math. And I'm kinda pissed at having typed out a response that I actually spent time thinking about. But that's the way it goes, I guess. You never know if people will take your advice, and you never know if their questions are on the level.

So maybe, in the end, the solution isn't deletion of those threads but, rather, a note upon posting that says "Hey, if you're using AskMe to send soft jabs at your SO, get a fucking grip!"

In any case, something's hinky.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:19:03 -0800

oh, you had to drag it to MeTa, didn't you, mudpuppie? i mean,you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, thoughtful, open-minded and communicative and all, but this is just another of those niggardly sides that you keep revealing from time to time.

By: mudpuppie

mudpuppie — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:21:18 -0800

Dude. I could do so much better than you. You're no adonis, and you know it.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:23:40 -0800

Indeed, Ubu. This MeTa is like dipping a cup into a filthy overflowing toilet at a bar then putting it on nice high windowsill and telling everyone to go have a look at the piss.

By: Locative

Locative — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:25:41 -0800

This has potential, but they're no fr0zen and xteraco yet.

By: nola

nola — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:27:27 -0800

Now that would be perfromance art

By: adamdschneider

adamdschneider — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:28:36 -0800

When MySpace is full, the emos will walk the Green...

By: amyms

amyms — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:29:52 -0800

Good sleuthing, mudpuppie. I know these kind of shenanigans "lower the quality of the site" but my gawd they're entertaining!

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:31:32 -0800

If everyone could keep from pissing in the open threads for now that would be super. man that's weird, huh?

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:31:38 -0800

When MySpace is full, the emos will walk the Green...

Aim for the heart, it's the only way to be sure.

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:32:30 -0800

I'm just trying to find a good used car.

By: caddis

caddis — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:33:22 -0800

OK, this is weirdness, and yes, mudpuppie is looking a little deeper than your average bear.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:35:20 -0800

Burhanistan: in an Aussie bar, people would look up thirstily at the glass of frothy amber fluid and ask "Um, what's your point, mate?"

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:37:17 -0800

And this is substantially different from the rest of RelationshipFilter how?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:37:42 -0800

This has potential, but they're no fr0zen and xteraco yet.

maybe this is them, post-therapy?

By: tarheelcoxn

tarheelcoxn — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:42:22 -0800

but my gawd they're entertaining!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I live for the grey.

/goes back to writing for finals

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:49:56 -0800

Ubu: they have bathrooms in Aussie bars?

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:50:47 -0800

Wait, strike that....they have bathrooms in Australia?

By: blacklite

blacklite — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:53:57 -0800

I wanted to go into the guy's question and point out that he should be strongly considering ending the relationship based on "omg I should get someone hotter rite" ... shrugging off the "eww" response in here ... but it turns out that it actually is kind of weird and creepy. The "haha we're just kind of open" is just so disingenuous and passive-aggressive and ... weird.

Oh well. I hope they ... quit posting about their relationship, anyway.

By: Forktine

Forktine — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:54:17 -0800

Woah, that is weird. And I totally don't buy his "oh, we communicate so well, ha ha" thing at the end. Dude, if your girlfriend is posting to the internet that she doesn't think you are all that hot, communication is the least of your worries.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:56:33 -0800

Wait, strike that....they have bathrooms in Australia?

In a manner of speaking, Burhanistan. What we actually use are trained kangaroos: they hop around from person to person, and if you need to relieve yourself, you just piss into their pouch. All blokes carry in their pockets a sprig of eucalyptus leaves, to reward the kangaroo for pausing; this is how they come to be trained.

I have no idea what the sheilas do, because they stay at home all day so we never see them do their business. Probably something similar, but with a fluffy wombat to sit on.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:06:07 -0800

You'd better hope those kangaroos don't ever unionize.

By: ddaavviidd

ddaavviidd — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:07:57 -0800

this is why I don't watch tv anymore

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:08:36 -0800

When you get drunk in Australia, does the room spin the other way?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:18:27 -0800

Nah, we've solved that one: we just strap ourselved to a BBQ rotisserie, switch it on, and the spinning is completely negated.

Problem is, we haven't yet worked out how to stop the beer from spilling as we rotate.

By: amyms

amyms — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:20:54 -0800

Your beer spills because you're living upside down!

By: winna

winna — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:21:29 -0800

You should all invest in sippy cups.

Manly sippy cups.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:23:49 -0800

or we could just steal beer from the babies; drink it straight from their bottles!

By: winna

winna — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:24:51 -0800

Surely babies drink beer too weak for adults.

They probably guzzle light beer. Or worse, near-beer!

By: frecklefaerie

frecklefaerie — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:28:07 -0800

I just want to say that I have never considered pissing in a marsupial's pouch.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:49:28 -0800

I just want to say that I have never considered pissing in a marsupial's pouch.

My dad always said you should try everything at least once. But he's Welsh and those dirty buggers are game for anything.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Thu, 01 May 2008 23:40:18 -0800

They're also statistically over-represented in the Darwin Awards.

By: scody

scody — Thu, 01 May 2008 23:49:49 -0800

Some people, when they realize they're in shitty, fucked-up, unhealthy relationships, wake up one day and think, "oh my god, how do I change this?" Other people in the same boat wake up one day and think, "oh my god, how do I get more of this?"

I've decided that these two charmers, both being of the latter category and evidently clinging to each other out of fear of being alone the way a toddler might cling to a parent, make a perfect match for each other. They should smoke, fuck other people, and insult each other to their hearts' content -- it helps prevent them from making other people miserable.

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Fri, 02 May 2008 00:35:41 -0800

Okay, so, you know how in that '90s movie Crash they get into car accidents to get off?

Yeah.

By: Justinian

Justinian — Fri, 02 May 2008 01:13:38 -0800

It better be goddamn performance art, cause otherwise "Ria" is one awful human being. Posting that you might leave your SO because you think you can get someone more attractive when you know your SO reads Metafilter? Jesus, why not just post that he's fat and has a tiny penis? Please, please, please consider never posting on Metafilter again.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Fri, 02 May 2008 01:57:33 -0800

Justinian: Jesus, why not just post that he's fat and has a tiny penis?

Look, Justinian, how many times do I have to say "I'm sorry" before you accept my apology? I honestly didn't think you'd mind.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Fri, 02 May 2008 02:07:01 -0800

Oh, and on subject...

It's an open relationship. Polyamory is a drama factory. Sometimes the oilspills wash up on the shores of AskMe.

By: hjo3

hjo3 — Fri, 02 May 2008 02:15:08 -0800

They're both revolting.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Fri, 02 May 2008 03:08:58 -0800

Nah, we've solved that one: we just strap ourselved to a BBQ rotisserie, switch it on, and the spinning is completely negated.

This is why so many Australians are tanned. And crispy.

By: rdr

rdr — Fri, 02 May 2008 04:15:20 -0800

Oh, and on subject...

It's an open relationship. Polyamory is a drama factory. Sometimes the oilspills wash up on the shores of AskMe.

That's on subject?

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Fri, 02 May 2008 05:06:54 -0800

Yeah, rdr, as scody mentioned, Ria and mockdeep where in an open relationship. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's been my vicarious experience that there's more drama in open relationship than non-open.

By: Marie Mon Dieu

Marie Mon Dieu — Fri, 02 May 2008 05:20:49 -0800

Lots of good answers in the AskMe threads. Maybe somebody else will benefit from reading them, so the time's not totally wasted, eh?

My take is they are both immature, if it's real at all (her wording sounds formal and stilted, kind of strange for a young woman in the throes of deciding whether or not to break up with a guy). If he is nitpicky and realizes it and is going to therapy, more power to him. If she can't look beyond someone's exterior, she is in for a big surprise when she gets old and her looks go south. Maybe he'd be "better looking" if he weren't so nitpicky.

I'm kind of scared for my son for when he goes to college in a couple of years if this is what's waiting for him.

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Fri, 02 May 2008 05:22:54 -0800

I hereby challenge these to posters to a fight in the nearest Shaw's Supermarket.

That's the traditional thing to do, right?

By: kittens for breakfast

kittens for breakfast — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:15:29 -0800

This controversy totally needs pictures.

By: inigo2

inigo2 — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:31:49 -0800

This controversy totally needs pictures.

This is the boyfriend.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:34:37 -0800

Yuck.

By: micayetoca

micayetoca — Fri, 02 May 2008 06:52:59 -0800

They're both revolting.
posted by hjo3

butler: My lord, the AskMe natives are revolting!

master: they are, indeed.

By: Perplexity

Perplexity — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:01:08 -0800

Wow, that fr0zen/xteraco thing linked to by Rock Steady is amazing. Y'all shoudl check it out if you missed it the first time around like I did.

By: gomichild

gomichild — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:28:52 -0800

Wow mudpuppie nice spotting!

By: Koko

Koko — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:33:22 -0800

Yes, but a little soda water should get it right out.

By: thinkpiece

thinkpiece — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:38:50 -0800

They are up to something. The writing is off somehow ... calculated, and similiar. And I fell for it and replied to mockdeep. I am now cranky.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Fri, 02 May 2008 07:43:39 -0800

oh mudpuppie. how i long to slather you in melted milk duds and...

By: Viomeda

Viomeda — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:03:46 -0800

Did Ria ever show up at that meetup?

By: misha

misha — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:03:58 -0800

I passed right over the, "OMG he's not hawt enuff 4 me" AskMe because just the idea had me so riled up I felt that I couldn't reply helpfully--and now I am even more creeped out, because I know a girl who goes by the nickname of "Ria." Ugh. Stop messing with my head, AskMe!

By: Viomeda

Viomeda — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:04:46 -0800

Does she, erm, dance on the sand?

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:14:01 -0800

dance on the sand? for example, in Rio de Janiero?

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:16:40 -0800

"or we could just steal beer from the babies; drink it straight from their bottles!"

And let the dingos take the babies!

"because I know a girl who goes by the nickname of "Ria.""

Dia?

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:24:04 -0800

What we actually use are trained kangaroos: they hop around from person to person, and if you need to relieve yourself, you just piss into their pouch.
posted by UbuRoivas

Well, dang, UbuRoivas, that's the kind of thing I'm looking for in my "cultural misperceptions" AskMe!

By: jamjam

jamjam — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:27:12 -0800

Did Ria ever show up at that meetup?

That's along the lines I was thinking; they're mainly trying to generate a little advance interest to improve the chances of each of them going home with someone new when they show up together at the next meetup.

By: Parasite Unseen

Parasite Unseen — Fri, 02 May 2008 08:55:49 -0800

Ria and mockdeep where in an open relationship. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's been my vicarious experience that there's more drama in open relationship than non-open.

This is my experience as well, although the ratio of drama in a monogamous vs poly relationship is really sort of a frying pan vs fire situation. Meanwhile, I've decided that life's just a whole lot more pleasant when you don't play on top of the fucking stove.

By: Viomeda

Viomeda — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:04:45 -0800

Where are people getting 'open relationship' from? All I heard was 'we're very open with each other.' Not necessarily the same thing. (Both of them used the same words, in fact, which increases my own suspicion.)

By: meehawl

meehawl — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:06:35 -0800

This is why answering anything in Relationship questions is just an exercise in mass egowankery, and reading it is akin to studying how other people eat their boogers in semi-public. Who is the audience for the "advice" of the answerers? Just say no.

By: Viomeda

Viomeda — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:07:56 -0800

Ah. I see. Just finished reading one of Ria's fucking novels. Jesus, she writes a lot.

By: caddis

caddis — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:08:59 -0800

Open relationships are one of those little MetaHotButtons, like removing foreskins or cat claws.

By: thinkpiece

thinkpiece — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:14:49 -0800

meehawl is right. I'm never answering in Relationships again. Ever never. I sometimes get the feeling people are doing character sketches, or role-playing or doing research for their novels. It's like a writing exercise.

By: quin

quin — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:18:32 -0800

Ewww, I just took a sip of water from this glass on the windowsill and it tastes really bad.

By: Marie Mon Dieu

Marie Mon Dieu — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:29:49 -0800

While looking up a cite for the nose picking study, I followed this link. Now follow his link from the word "bogeys" and it's...

Well, see for yourselves. It's a small world after all!

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:42:37 -0800

I have no idea how these people got their cats wedged into their scanners, or why.

By: waraw

waraw — Fri, 02 May 2008 10:52:46 -0800

Do the cats' brains explode?

By: Skot

Skot — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:06:59 -0800

Do the cats' brains explode?

What happens to a cat defurred?

By: Skot

Skot — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:07:20 -0800

I hate myself.

By: Skorgu

Skorgu — Fri, 02 May 2008 11:38:09 -0800

I read this somewhere re an Amy Winehouse album:

I have a weak spot for girls like Amy. It's like my life isn't interesting enough unless I'm being treated like shit by a beautiful woman who hates herself. Owning this is probably considerably cheaper than the real thing.

Feels relevant here somehow...

By: electroboy

electroboy — Fri, 02 May 2008 12:37:36 -0800

I propose banning all questions about relationships. I love staring slack-jawed at a bloody trainwreck as much as the next person, but when it comes to most of these questions, if you have to ask, you're not going to understand the answer.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Fri, 02 May 2008 12:59:01 -0800

Plus the asker NEVER provides all the information you need to provide helpful advice. Novels could be written -- novels have been written -- with all that's left out of this kind of plea for advice. LIKE PHOTOS??????

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 02 May 2008 13:27:24 -0800

Well, see for yourselves. It's a small world after all!

Eww. I did not say anything about nose-picking!

By: Marie Mon Dieu

Marie Mon Dieu — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:02:48 -0800

Eww. I did not say anything about nose-picking!

No you did not. And I was rather startled to see the link there while searching for a link to put into a MeTa thread. Creepy, huh?

By: delmoi

delmoi — Fri, 02 May 2008 14:38:10 -0800

Hmm, I feel bad for this guy. Seems like there are a lot of these relationships where the girl just dumps on the guy, and of course there are a lot of bad relationships where the guy just dumps on the girl as well.

I guess there's not much that can be done about this.

By: danb

danb — Fri, 02 May 2008 15:38:08 -0800

Here are some ideas.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Fri, 02 May 2008 19:20:24 -0800

BLAST HER.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:20:00 -0800

I just want to say that I have never considered pissing in a marsupial's pouch.

Y'know, awhile ago I was watching arerun of CSI and I realized that they had done shows about furries, chubby chasers and adult babies and I got the feeling that they had some employee combingthe internet for odd fetishes to write episodes around. I thought that maybe i could create a new fetish, propogate it on the Web and see how long it would take to get worked into a plotline. My first idea was marsupialism, people who want to be carried or carry someone ina body pouch. ialso considered taking scat to it's outer limit and creating a subculture of people who don't want to be crapped on or crap on somebody but who rather want to be crap and to that end create giant gastrointestinal tracts that they travel through. Then there was amoebaism, people who want to split in two to create another life, and starchies people who want to be cleaned and pressed and travel in circles on that carousel doohickie you see in the dry cleaners. Then there were people who get aroused by deep-frying who depending on whether they were the fryers or the fryees were known as FryDaddies and FryBabies.

I have too much free time, I guess.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Fri, 02 May 2008 23:01:14 -0800

^I have too much free time, I guess.

Or, not enough.
, he responded on MetaTalk, way after the thread had fallen asleep.

By: 2or3whiskeysodas

2or3whiskeysodas — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:36:27 -0800

Or, not enough. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Sat, 03 May 2008 09:11:08 -0800

Have they done an episode about Tabitha Sorensen passing gas on cakes? If so, yeah, that pretty much proves your theory.

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:32:19 -0800

(Soren, I mean.)

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Sun, 04 May 2008 01:09:35 -0800

This is the boyfriend.

Dude, what's she complaining about? That guy is so hot, he's even been seen on dates with Cher!

By: po

po — Mon, 05 May 2008 01:12:18 -0800

I like pancakes!

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 05 May 2008 07:29:13 -0800

po: Who doesn't?