Comments on: Why deleted?

Why deleted?

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:40:03 -0800

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

I posted the two word answer "New man." to this question. I wasn't trying to be smart. It was deleted. Here's the part of the questioner's answer that I read that led me to give my answer:

The problem for me is that I'm painfully shy when it comes to sex. I get embarrassed so easily! Rational or not, I can't even bring up what I like because I'm too terrified of being made fun of. I haven't really had much trouble with this in the past because past boyfriends were a bit controlling, which worked perfectly for me in the bedroom.

In other words, it wasn't a problem in the past with previous lovers but it is with the current one. Why is my answer of moving on from the current lover not considered valid then?

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:41:13 -0800

Sorry, questioner's question.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:43:19 -0800

You have to ask why that was deleted?? Are you freakin serious? Two words..not even a full sentence. And a ridiculous answer at that. How about you put in some effort, dude? You wrote more cuz you were pissed off about getting deleted than you did to HELP THE OP! Get a grip.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:43:25 -0800

I think I flagged that answer- or I meant to. Came off more snarky then pithy, as most two word answers do. Try using more words next time.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:44:47 -0800

It was totally unclear from the context what you were saying. Could have been snarky, could have been a sincere answer. Its usually a good idea to explain at least a little bit why you are offering the advice that you are. We'll sometimes delete one or two word answers to complicated questions because they often come across as snark as much as an answer to the question.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:45:08 -0800

1-word and 2-word answers that actually mean a heck of a lot more (to you) are often bad answers (almost 100% of the time) and we regularly delete them because people flag them for usually sounding jerkish.

"New Man" is pretty much the same thing as "DTMFA" which we would also delete if that was your entire answer.

You obviously have more to say about the answer, so I'd say in the future explaining why you think the somewhat drastic advice of dumping someone is the best course of action, and the way to do that is to explain in a sentence or two why it's worth ending a relationship over (based on personal experience? seeing friends go through bad relationships? something else? why?).

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:45:14 -0800

New answer.

By: sjuhawk31

sjuhawk31 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:45:26 -0800

You can't even break out the standard DTMFA? Fewer keystrokes.

By: sjuhawk31

sjuhawk31 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:46:07 -0800

Jess, would you stop being so fast this afternoon? I can't type as quickly as you.

By: [@I][:+:][@I]

[@I][:+:][@I] — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:54:16 -0800

WHAT DO?

By: brownpau

brownpau — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:55:29 -0800

APPEASE.

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:56:08 -0800

Thanks for your replies Jessamyn and mathowie.

Had to look up DTMFA. I'm not saying that's he's a 'motherfucker', just doesn't seem to be what she is looking for in that department. She described her level of satisfaction thus: Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker - I enjoy it while I'm having it, but I'm not often craving it. So not necessarily any problem with him, just perhaps not a good match for her.

I went with two words because I thought a pithy answer could break her out of the line of thought she was following (needing to be assertive in bed when she's been perfectly content not to be before).

But I appreciate you spelling out how it could be taken the wrong way. I don't think I agree but I respect the ruling.

By: mattbucher

mattbucher — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:57:33 -0800

tl;dr

By: YoBananaBoy

YoBananaBoy — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:59:32 -0800

It sucked.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:01:58 -0800

I went with two words because I thought a pithy answer could break her out of the line of thought she was following

I think this applies to AskMe similar to the way it applies to much else in life: Say what you mean, and mean what you say. One can't rely on others to take your hidden meanings.

By: felix betachat

felix betachat — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:03:45 -0800

Jesus wept.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:05:12 -0800

Too many notes, my dear Mozart! Too many notes!

By: AwkwardPause

AwkwardPause — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:07:22 -0800

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:09:38 -0800

BRANDNEW DAY!

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:13:19 -0800

I'm pretty sure I remember "I'm loving it" being deleted from this thread. Mods don't like short, correct answers.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:16:21 -0800

Words left out. Phrases incomplete.

By: Iosephus

Iosephus — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:18:01 -0800

INVISIBLE ANSWER

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:20:04 -0800

It was a rude answer to a sincere question. It showed contempt for the poster. I'm mystified why you think that this is worthy of questioning? Did you really think that your answer was appropriate for the question? If so, you might want to figure out why (hint: it's you).

Or, in words you might understand:

It sucked.

By: onalark

onalark — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:21:29 -0800

> Find Pig!|

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:22:30 -0800

She described her level of satisfaction thus: Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker - I enjoy it while I'm having it, but I'm not often craving it. So not necessarily any problem with him, just perhaps not a good match for her.

This is a much better answer.

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:26:44 -0800

Yeah, it came across to me as ridiculously rude, and it wasn't an answer to the question. The OP was asking about how to deal with her shyness in bed. You essentially told her she can't, so she'd better find some asshole who doesn't give her any choices. That's what I got out of it, anyway. And that shit pisses me off.

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:28:50 -0800

Cositwas acrapanswer.

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:30:51 -0800

That's your interpretation Light Fantastic. I fail to see how it was rude. I didn't insult the questioner, nor her boyfriend. I don't think it's a great tragedy to move on from a sexual relationship where the sex is not working. That's all I'm suggesting. The mods have answered that readers could interpret it as snark, but I think the feeling of offence is brought to the answer by the reader. Anyway, I'm happy to let it rest.

p.s. Blazecock, I enjoyed the Mozart reference. Thanks.

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:30:52 -0800

The consensus: She needed a hug, you did not give one.

By: grateful

grateful — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:42:20 -0800

Meh. New user.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:42:44 -0800

Total War

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:50:08 -0800

I went with two words because I thought a pithy answer could break her out of the line of thought she was following (needing to be assertive in bed when she's been perfectly content not to be before).

Huh? What? Are you some kind of mentalist? How can two words help 'break' anything other than the askme guidelines? Dude, lay off the bong. Seriously.

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:50:09 -0800

Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker

Sweet but dry, makes a big mess, and invented to prevent sexual desire?

By: Plutor

Plutor — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:52:01 -0800

Sitegeist: "That's your interpretation Light Fantastic."

It's pretty much everyone's interpretation so far. Things don't always sound as jerky when you think them as they do when you say them. Trust us on this one, and use three or more words next time someone is asking for relationship help.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:52:29 -0800

Sitegeist, whether or not you meant to be rude, it reads as such. The replies you've given here are much, much better (though I disagree with them). If you went back to the AskMe thread and expanded on your thoughts I'm sure they would be welcomed.

By: burnmp3s

burnmp3s — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:52:48 -0800

I think the feeling of offence is brought to the answer by the reader

The thing is that at MetaFilter, and in life in general, being offended is always more about the reader rather than the writer. Even if you aren't trying to be offensive, even if you don't think you're being offensive, even if most rational human beings don't think you are being offensive, if your audience reads your comments as offensive then you have offended them.

Obviously you are free to offend anyone you want, but the bottom line is that if you offend a large number of people then your comments are going to be flagged and deleted.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:53:03 -0800

I fail to see how it was rude.

I think that's the main point, that you fail to see how it's rude and I'm saying that as someone who prefers answering as you originally did. It seems pretty simple and straightforward, doesn't it? Yet to some people it isn't, and is even considered rude. Why? 'Cause she's asking for advice on how to fix her current relationship and you're telling her to dump all the time and emotion she has invested in it and offering zero explanations why she should do so while offering no other possible options. It's as if you haven't listen to a word she said

Look, you may be right, but such a short, pithy answer doesn't convey much info to the user you're trying to help and which would you rather happen, to help someone or to be right?

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:57:06 -0800

I fail to see how it was rude.

Perhaps then you should stay out of relationshipfilter type questions. Cuz it's pretty damn clear that it's rude. Or in real life when your wife/girlfriend/husband/boyfriend/mother/daughter/whatever asks you a question like 'i'm worried about my relationship with x' and you say 'new man' and then walk away, do you actually believe you are being helpful? Cuz that's an entirely DIFFERENT ball of wax.

By: Pax

Pax — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:06:02 -0800

My answer deleted.

What did your answer delete?

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:06:19 -0800

I fail

Too easy.

/drive-by snark attack*
*Snark for the observational LOLs only. No personal insult intended. No Graham Crackers were injured in the making of this comment. Stay in school, kids.

By: SPrintF

SPrintF — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:07:24 -0800

Neuman

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:08:33 -0800

Man, I saw the title of this thread and immediately opened the bag of crisps I'd been saving for hours. It turned out OK, but I think the crisps deserved a proper flameout, really.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:12:18 -0800

I think the crisps deserved a proper flameout, really.

WTFBBQ flavour?

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:15:23 -0800

Why MeTa?

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:22:22 -0800

FWIW I'm very disapointed with the deletion reason given for that ducks double. I would have gone with "Ducks, you sucker!".

By: carsonb

carsonb — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:26:36 -0800

Nah, that reason was good. Replacing it is bad, and with "Ducks, you sucker!" it just gets ugly.

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:27:21 -0800

By: davejay

davejay — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:39:52 -0800

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

Question not made to mods via mail. Please explain why.

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:49:03 -0800

The problem for me is that I'm painfully shy when it comes to sex. I get embarrassed so easily! Rational or not, I can't even bring up what I like because I'm too terrified of being made fun of. I haven't really had much trouble with this in the past because past boyfriends were a bit controlling, which worked perfectly for me in the bedroom.

In other words, it wasn't a problem in the past with previous lovers but it is with the current one. Why is my answer of moving on from the current lover not considered valid then?

No, from what she wrote it seems like it wasn't a problem in the past because her past lovers didn't really care what she wanted, so she didn't have to deal with what she wanted. Telling her to get a new man, whether or not it is rude, doesn't address her question "How do I stop being so shy in bed?", it addresses this un-asked question: "What can I do to forget how shy I am in bed?"

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:53:01 -0800

Why does Metafilter hate Sergio Leone puns?

By: sveskemus

sveskemus — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:53:43 -0800

Sitegeist, since you're sort of a new member let me give you this advice: Walk away from this thread now. People are just going to keep on piling on in the hopes that you flame out. That is not how the general MeFi community is but there are a lot of jerks on MeTa. You handled this fine. You questioned why your answer was deleted and when you got an answer you accepted it. Stop reading this thread now.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:57:05 -0800

People are just going to keep on piling on in the hopes that you flame out.

No, people are going to keep piling on because he seems to be insisting that he is right.
Agreeing to disagree would be the way to go.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:57:25 -0800

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

You need to use complete sentences. "My answer deleted" isn't one, and "please explain why" is barely a fragment, and "new man" is such a throwaway answer that you're actually here debating why it got deleted?

Typing like this makes you sound like an idiot. No, I'm not calling you an idiot. It just makes you sound like an idiot, like you're the head idiot of an international organization of idiotarians.

If you're so rushed that you cannot use English properly or you are so mentally haxxored by using the SMS functions on your phone - please don't post or do get your own blog.

Considering this site is obviously all text, and obviously heavily populated by people who enjoy the written word - illustrating directly that abusing the language this way might be a problem. It shoud be so fucking obvious that I can only imagine it would be like rocks falling from the sky and hitting somone in the head like raindrops. "Hrmmm, many words" *poink!* "Owww? Text small!" *poink!* "Hey, ow! No pictures at all?" *POINK* "OW, hey! What's with rocks? I find pig!"

By: quin

quin — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:01:52 -0800

carsonb : ...and with "Ducks, you sucker!" it just gets ugly.

Which is why I always preferred "Suck, you duckers!"

...

Wait, what are we talking about again?

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:10:12 -0800

Cute, fluffy little ducklings.

By: Debaser626

Debaser626 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:21:28 -0800

Insurance Fraud

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:23:06 -0800

The Mexican Civil War. Also running from and then learning to accept duty and responsibility.

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:24:06 -0800

Sauteed, then drizzled with home-made peanut satay?

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:30:40 -0800

I thought we were talking about giant land-walking clockwork automata. The war is still on, right? There are still flying squid to be killed and driven from the sky, right?

By: cashman

cashman — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:32:20 -0800

Pleather.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:35:26 -0800

Warm Leatherette

By: Debaser626

Debaser626 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:37:29 -0800

D'Rail

By: Science!

Science! — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:38:21 -0800

D'Fail

Anonymous, as my two word answer still appears in this thread in quoted form, although my original has been deleted, I thought I should mention that I give a fuller explanation in this meta-talk thread of my response.

There, only if you're interested.

posted by Sitegeist at 3:31 PM on July 17 [+] [!] [quote]No other comments.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:42:00 -0800

Sometimes people just get fixated on an illusion and can't let go.

By: fourcheesemac

fourcheesemac — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:45:54 -0800

No Fair!

By: Skorgu

Skorgu — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:11:46 -0800

Just...no. Re-type it for FSM's sake and stop playing martyrball.

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:15:22 -0800

New man.

By: box

box — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:19:39 -0800

Oh, man.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:26:00 -0800

Neuman!

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:26:51 -0800

Martyrball: It isn't whether you win or lose, it's how you lay the blame.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:48:11 -0800

Get lamp

motherfuckers

By: iamkimiam

iamkimiam — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:04:57 -0800

Newman!

By: Deathalicious

Deathalicious — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:12:12 -0800

Find Pig awesome game.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:22:07 -0800

Unga bunga, mei la gerdsham foo pa!!

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:47:19 -0800

"Sentence fragment" is a sentence fragment.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:53:21 -0800

"Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker"

It's best around a campfire, smothered in melted chocolate and marshmallow?

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:58:48 -0800

No clue.

By: [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:59:02 -0800

New man.

___________________________________
Sent from my BlackBerry wireless handheld.

By: benzo8

benzo8 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:05:33 -0800

Until this reply in this thread I didn't even realise that "New Man" was advice and not a commentary, that it was "[Get a] New Man" and not "[He's a] New Man"... Which is exactly why your answer failed.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:41:02 -0800

Who Q? Where Q?

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:03:49 -0800

Controversial rapper Fur Q?

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:23:58 -0800

That's your interpretation Light Fantastic. I fail to see how it was rude. I didn't insult the questioner, nor her boyfriend.

Yes, you did. I'm sorry you can't see it, but you're not the one who gets to decide how your comments are interpreted. Just count to 100 before pressing "post" next time, ok?

By: c13

c13 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:25:52 -0800

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

It sucks.

By: hangashore

hangashore — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:26:39 -0800

Numan.

By: prefpara

prefpara — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:06:27 -0800

Numan(uma)

By: grobstein

grobstein — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:36:43 -0800

Oh, good morning, Dying Alone! How have you been?

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:43:39 -0800

Well, I protest again.

The comment I added to the thread quoted by Science! above has now been deleted.

Moderators, you leave my comment in quoted form in the thread but remove my explanation, not intruded into the thread but offered as a link which the reader can choose to follow or not?

I'd like an explanation on what grounds you chose to delete my second posting please.

~ ~ ~

For reference, my second posting in the AskMeFi thread, also now removed (copied from the quote by Science! above):

Anonymous, as my two word answer still appears in this thread in quoted form, although my original has been deleted, I thought I should mention that I give a fuller explanation in this meta-talk thread of my response.

There, only if you're interested.

posted by Sitegeist at 3:31 PM on July 17

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:45:03 -0800

The in this meta-talk thread was a link to this meta-talk thread of course.

By: h00py

h00py — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:53:32 -0800

Deary me. You're really going to do this to yourself, aren't you? By the way, you are aware of the flagging system, aren't you? It's not just the mods being big meanies and hating you!

(It's everyone else too).

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:58:06 -0800

"Sex with my boyfriend is like a graham cracker"

But graham crackers are good crushed under cheesecake.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:59:57 -0800

That thread? Not about you. This thread? Apparently pointless.

By: The Gooch

The Gooch — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:05:56 -0800

While I generally find "Why Did My Comment Get Deleted?" Metatalk posts incredibly annoying, I want to at least give Sitegeist credit for resisting the temptation to pull the even more aggravating and virtually always dishonest "I don't care that my comment got deleted, I'm just wondering what the decision making process behind it was" tactic.

/glass half full

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:07:41 -0800

Need hug.

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:10:15 -0800

IRFH, I'm simply putting censorship on record and asking the censors to account for their actions. You may find that pointless, I don't.

The moderators obliged me with answers for the first instance and I accepted their explanation (though continue to disagree with it). I'm now asking for the reasons behind what I see as a much more questionable deletion.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:11:40 -0800

You say you accepted it, but I see no evidence that you really understood it.

By: jamaro

jamaro — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:18:53 -0800

Out of curiosity, why did you choose to post that second comment in AskMe (essentially asking the OP to slog through a long MeTa that isn't about her) rather than simply editing out the irrelevant and reposting what you wrote here?

By: netbros

netbros — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:19:04 -0800

That just wasn't your thread, was it? You're floating in rarefied air getting two posts from the same thread deleted nine hours apart. Cabal, will you place this in the annals please?

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:19:15 -0800

AskMe is about providing the best possible answer to the asker, not about satisfying your ego or stunt posting. That's why I mostly avoid it. You probably would have been fine if you'd just commented again with your longer answer. What you did, instead, though, was derail into this thread, which was in no way relevant as an answer. If you don't get that, I doubt that I can help you see it more clearly.

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:20:41 -0800

It confuses even me, but I hate complaints about censorship on the internet even more than I hate the music of Yes.

By: peacay

peacay — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:28:57 -0800

Where it says "turn the other cheek", it's not the companion half of the still-stinging bared buttock that should be proffered. Pick up one of those Florences raining down on your parade and read the directions on its label.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:31:54 -0800

Deleting your stupid, self-righteous babble is not "censorship", fool.

You don't want to do this.

It confuses even me, but I hate complaints about censorship on the internet even more than I hate the music of Yes.

Hell, it's even worse than the Moody Blues.

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:33:04 -0800

IRFH, I understand the function of AskMe and agree with its rule of keeping answers strictly to the question.

I do not think my answer was egoistic. I see how it could be perceived as stunt posting although I don't agree that it was. But we can agree to disagree on that and that's what I have done upthread.

My reason for simply posting a link was because ppl were telling me in this thread that my point of view was offensive. Not wanting to offend Anonymous by elaborating on my view in the thread, I posted a link to here which she could choose to follow or not. I don't see how that's a derail - it's providing a fuller explanation of my answer to the question should the reader want to read it and hiding it if the reader does not.

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:36:53 -0800

Heavy sigh.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:37:03 -0800

I'd like an explanation on what grounds you chose to delete my second posting please.

This is a 100 comment MeTa thread at this point. If you have follow-up questions you might get a speedier response if you emailed us. In short, comments to AskMe have to be answers to the question. Yours, which I didn't see, was a link to a MeTa thread. That is not an answer to the question. If you can't leave a comment that is helpful to the OP, please don't bother to comment in the thread. If you have a larger issue with site moderation, that belongs here or in email to us.

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:47:23 -0800

Thanks jessamyn. I don't require a speedy response. I'm posting here rather than emailing to keep things in the open. The hating being expressed doesn't bother me.

I had followed sveskemus' advice not to further engage here until my second post in the AskMeFi thread, which provided a fuller answer to the question through linkage to my explanation here, was also deleted. I'm actually not really wanting to debate this or grandstand, just wanting explanations given in a public place.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:03:32 -0800

I'm posting here rather than emailing to keep things in the open.

I think you might be suffering from delusions of relevance. This is just silly and a waste of bits.

By: meehawl

meehawl — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:04:02 -0800

Omit needless ~~words~~.

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:07:03 -0800

Nobody likes ...Newman.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:16:13 -0800

Too many notes, Sitegeist. Too many notes.

By: Sitegeist

Sitegeist — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:28:54 -0800

You suggest I should follow Mozart's example and start decomposing?

By: juv3nal

juv3nal — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:46:42 -0800

Hint: "I answered your question over there" is not the same thing as answering the question.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:48:07 -0800

People are just going to keep on piling on in the hopes that you flame out. That is not how the general MeFi community is but there are a lot of jerks on MeTa.

While I won't dispute that there are a lot of jerks on MeTa and can't deny that I've been among them, I do quibble with your first assertion. The point isn't to make someone flame out/lose their shit/run away from MetaHome and never come back. I don't want people to feel that way, and I'm willing to bet that most other jerks feel the same*. In very few cases is there anything approaching that level of malice and vindictiveness, for the most part we're here for the LOLS by riffing on whatever the stupid MeTa of the day is.
It's not about hurting people, it's about making each other laugh, and in the best case scenario, the poster has enough humour and self-awareness to recognize it and join in as the episode ends with a freezeframe of everyone smiling and laughing as the credits fade up (Stephen J. Cannell and his damn typewriter optional).

*Except for that languagehat guy, that dude's a stone monster.

I'm simply putting censorship on record and asking the censors to account for their actions.

We prefer the term 'unpublished'.

By: spiderwire

spiderwire — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:07:30 -0800

We prefer the term 'unpublished'.

I can't believe it took 111 comments for someone to make that joke. Not that I was going to make it or anything. [cough]

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:33:11 -0800

I can't believe it took 111 comments for someone to make that joke.

I'm not above squatting for the low-hanging fruit.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:37:08 -0800

On non-preview that sounds really, really dirty.

Fortunately those evil, censor-happy mods will probably unpublish it and save my chances of some day running for office. Right?

By: qvantamon

qvantamon — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:57:22 -0800

Squatting for the low-hanging fruit is OK. It gets really really dirty when people start squatting for the mishappen giant penis

By: Deathalicious

Deathalicious — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:10:13 -0800

Look, Sitegeist, your opinion -- "Maybe you should think about finding a different sexual partner if your current one isn't doing anything for you" would definitely have stayed. It wouldn't have gotten deleted, no matter how apparently "offensive" that opinion was being received in your opinion. The offensiveness of your original suggestion was its brevity.

So don't elaborate by saying, "Okay, you can read my advice if you wish on a wankfest page for myself". That's also easily deletable.

Go back there with your head held high and tell anonymous that they need to find a new boyfriend, one who knows how to hold her arms down, handcuff them to the rails, and take the heck over.

Of course, I respectfully disagree with this position: I think she could try telling him what she wants, which was sort of what she was asking for help for. This wasn't one of those "My boyfriend keeps hitting me. What concealers would you recommend to hide the bruises" type questions where the answer really is DTMF. It was a question about bringing communication into the bedroom, which is why an on-topic answer was actually warranted in this case. You generally only have to argue with the premise of the OP if what they are suggesting is a really, really bad idea. In this case, what she wanted to do was a really, really good idea. When I saw this question I was really, really tempted to say "None" but I didn't, not just because I knew my answer would get deleted, but because it's sort of a stupiid jer response that isn't at all relevant to the topic. I've had questions deleted, and threads deleted, and I just let it go. If it gets deleted, you're not "censored" because the mods are "wrong", this is their house, you're wrong, you deal with it.

The green is a little more sacred than other parts of the site. Snark and off-topic comments are generally okay in the blue and encouraged on the gray, but AskMe is where questions and useful answers come to play.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:19:41 -0800

Encouraged by whom, you hippo-britanic land mass?!

By: philomathoholic

philomathoholic — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:45:01 -0800

So, there I was starting a search through MeTa for "censor" to find some real censorship. Then I find this odd search page, which declares that user "demo has been censored!".

Further investigation led to demo's MetaTalk post, which was definitely uncensored.

By: philomathoholic

philomathoholic — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:55:20 -0800

Actually, you can't search to find censorship, duh!

I found what I was looking for (a big to-do about "deleted answer == censorship"), but the person apologized shortly afterwards, so I would feel bad for bringing it up again.

By: Science!

Science! — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:30:18 -0800

Sensor ship.

By: JanetLand

JanetLand — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:34:38 -0800

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

This thread is just loaded with great ideas for new sockpuppet names.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:53:50 -0800

My reason for simply posting a link was because ppl were telling me in this thread that my point of view was offensive.

Holy crap you just don't get it. Nobody said your point of view was offensive. EVERYBODY said your TWO WORD SHIT DUMP in the thread was not an answer at all and thus had no point of view because two words, a noun and an adjective, do not convey anything other than a grunted command. Nobody's gonna delete your point of view, but you have to freakin ELABORATE what exactly your point of view is, using, you know, your words, instead of pulling your lips off your Schlitz can for three seconds to bark a command at a poor girl before going back to scratching your nuts through your boxers. Seriously, man, try to get a grip.

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:11:38 -0800

When my comments get deleted I kill a kitten

So Sitegeist, I kill one for you OK? I send you fur, you make glove.

win win.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:20:22 -0800

pulling your lips off your Schlitz can for three seconds to bark a command at a poor girl before going back to scratching your nuts through your boxers.

Don't you dare judge my marriage!

For what it's worth, I think Sitegeist is doing fine in posting this MetaTalk and continuing to post problems as he sees it. Clearly he disagreed with something and wanted an explanation, but that's what MetaTalk is for. He's ignoring all the people treating him like crap, and continually asking for clarification of things he doesn't understand. Most of the drama in this thread is from people getting angry at him, not him acting like a jackass.

Yeah, maybe he's coming off as a bit dense, but having patience for someone with a different opinion or understanding might do the community some good..

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:40:00 -0800

Yeah, maybe he's coming off as a bit dense, but having patience for someone with a different opinion or understanding might do the community some good..

It's like telling a blind man that the sky is blue, and having him say "no it's not." You have to admit it's a bit frustrating.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:55:55 -0800

To be fair, the sky is actually gray this morning.

By: Science!

Science! — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:58:21 -0800

Negative. Here in the Midwest it's clearly a teal paisley.

Something is seriously wrong here.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:00:01 -0800

The point isn't to make someone flame out/lose their shit/run away from MetaHome and never come back.

Of course it is.

It's not about hurting people

Yes, it is.

Most of the drama in this thread is from people getting angry at him, not him acting like a jackass.

Bingo.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:03:46 -0800

Incredible Criminals

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:19:52 -0800

Actually "Ducks, you sucker!" doesn;t really make a lot of sense for indicating it's a double, it should really be "Ducked, you sucker!". With a link. They can include links, right?

By: BeerFilter

BeerFilter — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:27:35 -0800

The sky here at the right coast is the color of a TV tuned to a dead channel.

By: Rykey

Rykey — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:28:07 -0800

It sucked.

Try using more words next time.

It was a rude answer to a sincere question.

It's pretty much everyone's interpretation so far.

OK, I don't think Sitegeist is doing him/herself any favors by posting this is in MeTa, or by his/her behavior in this thread. But just to weigh in on the other side, I didn't see anything wrong with the two-word reply.

I guess I'm just a dick too.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:36:34 -0800

Most of the drama in this thread is from people getting angry at him, not him acting like a jackass.

Really? So playing the censorship card is not acting like a jackass?

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:37:44 -0800

The sky here at the right coast is the color of a TV tuned to a dead channel.

Yeah, on the left coast too, and COLD! (yes, I lied to the blind guy)

OK, I don't think Sitegeist is doing him/herself any favors by posting this is in MeTa, or by his/her behavior in this thread. But just to weigh in on the other side, I didn't see anything wrong with the two-word reply.

I thought it was rude, but not really tag worthy - more just brusque, clueless, insensitive and a bit self-indulgent (in other words, situation normal around here) - but the MeTa just put me over the edge, I guess. I don't even see how anyone could generate even a molecule of controversy over the deletion - I think that this is a case in which the stink made after the fact colors the original act.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:08:23 -0800

Really? So playing the censorship card is not acting like a jackass?

No, it's someone with a different interpretation of the word, possibly due to not being American on an American dominated site. He doesn't seem to be coming off as a crazed hostile person, wanting to make life difficult for the mods, so cut'em some slack and explain things slowly and patiently, just as you would like someone to do for you if you're having trouble grasping a concept.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:18:57 -0800

He is Australian, after all.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:24:32 -0800

I like Australians.

By: Gary

Gary — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:18:27 -0800

No, it's someone with a different interpretation of the word, possibly due to not being American on an American dominated site.

I am glad you pointed that out. When he mentioned asking the censors to account for their actions, I immediately thought he was a Ron Paul enthusiast ready to compare the mods to the "MSM".

But he's Australian. Sorry.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:20:36 -0800

I fail to see a non-American vs. American angle.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:46:47 -0800

I fail to see a non-American vs. American angle.

You're probably Canadian then.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:53:17 -0800

I don't have time to read 130 comments and remark about such a thing, so please see languagehat's probable previous comment.

By: poppo

poppo — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 18:39:30 -0800

My answer deleted. Please explain why.

Should play Rorscach in new Watchmen movie. Would be perfect casting.

By: BrotherCaine

BrotherCaine — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:41:14 -0800

Terse.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:55:24 -0800

Actually "Ducks, you sucker!" doesn;t really make a lot of sense for indicating it's a double, it should really be "Ducked, you sucker!". With a link. They can include links, right?

When I go on vacation, the mean time spent composing deletion reasons drops significantly. It's a craft and a curse and it's all I got goin' for me.