Comments on: Astor Zombie is a Favorite Tycoon

Astor Zombie is a Favorite Tycoon

yhbc — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:16:35 -0800

Astro Zombie had a comment with 15 favorites in MetaFilter. 5 hours ago
Astro Zombie had a comment with 41 favorites in MetaFilter. 6 hours ago
Astro Zombie had a comment with 23 favorites in MetaFilter. 6 hours ago

How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?

Seriously, this is just to draw a little more attention to one of (IM(NS)HO) the most beloved and appreciated members of the site. The fact that he's currently three of the top three in my own sidebar just kind of confirms that. The last time that happened, I believe it was by a little band from Liverpool. Thank you, Astro Zombie!

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:19:16 -0800

Furs, then real estate, now favorites. Those Astor Zombies don't give up.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:21:30 -0800

Okay, that was an entirely intentional historical-reference pun, not a typo.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:26:57 -0800

I can't even tell if you're rightly chastizing me or ironically backpedaling.

By: Kwine

Kwine — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:28:15 -0800

Aster Zombie is generally the funniest of the undead flowering plants.

By: kyleg

kyleg — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:28:17 -0800

I made a video of my girlfriend reading one of Astro Zombie's comments and favoriting it while she cried. I put it on youtube and it got a jillion hits. Astro Zombie MeMailed me and said it inspired him to keep writing excellent comments, even though some days he only felt like saying "Meh."

He also gave me and my girlfriend a restraining order. We had it framed and it sits on the mantle.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:29:03 -0800

Stake through the heart, right? although he's an astro zombie, so you may need some space age materials like fiberglas or nutrasweet.

By: cortex

cortex — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:30:02 -0800

That's vampires, dude.

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:32:21 -0800

I think we're done here. Let's close this up.

But seriously, though. There are several folks here on MeFi that remind me while I'd love to write comedy professionally, if they aren't famous yet, I don't have a chance. Thanks for the lulz.

By: vronsky

vronsky — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:34:04 -0800

astro zombies!

(I like him too :)

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:39:40 -0800

yhbc: If you really wanna get rid of this Astro Zombie character, I will step up to take him down fair and square.

I will also personally be taking all bets in my favor.

I plan to lose this fight pretty badly.

Because Astro Zombie is fucking awesome.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:46:35 -0800

An army of flying greasemonkeys would probably settle his score.

By: [NOT HERMITOSIS-IST]

[NOT HERMITOSIS-IST] — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:47:13 -0800

I can't stop reading MeFi for the day until I've favorited Astro Zombie. Or get an erection.

By: plinth

plinth — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:49:22 -0800

How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?
Shotgun to the head.

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:51:37 -0800

Raygun to the head.

By: optovox

optovox — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:53:21 -0800

posted by yhbc How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?

With just a touch of my burning hand, I send my astro zombies to rape this land. Prime directive: exterminate the whole human race. And your face drops in a pile of flesh, and then your heart, heart pounds 'til it pumps in death.

All I wanted to say--and all I gotta do--who'd I do this for; hey, me or you?

By: NoMich

NoMich — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:55:42 -0800

I wonder if his brother, Rob, is proud of him? He should be.

By: nola

nola — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:57:18 -0800

This was the noblest Mefi of them all;
All the conspirators save only he
Did that they did in envy of great Astro Zombie ;
He, only, in a general honest thought
And common good to all, made one of them.
His life was gentle, and the elements
So mixed in him that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world, 'This was a man!'

By: katillathehun

katillathehun — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:59:51 -0800

Stake through the heart! And you're to-oo blaaaaame! You give looooooooove... a... bad... sorry.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:03:03 -0800

How to dispose of an Astro Zombie.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:08:48 -0800

george jetson's undead dog.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:12:21 -0800

Ruh-roh. Rou're right, ron-rar!

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:13:14 -0800

As long as we're pimping our favorite Mefites, I would like to give Mr. Greg Nog a nod.

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:15:10 -0800

I like how the sweet anecdote and the bitter refutation are balanced out by a couple of easy zingers.

By: kuujjuarapik

kuujjuarapik — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:24:37 -0800

retro zombie.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:32:08 -0800

As long as we're pimping our favorite Mefites, I would like to give Mr. Greg Nog a nod.

What do you charge for an hour's rough use of him?

By: heeeraldo

heeeraldo — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:32:43 -0800

As long as we're pimping our favorite Mefites

Are you giving them fresh paint jobs and over-the-top stereo systems, or just selling them on the streets, TPS?

By: Phire

Phire — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:45:56 -0800

Honestly, has no one read the Zombie Survival Guide? Penetrating and destroying the head, people, shot gun or melee.

Geez.

By: jtron

jtron — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:49:34 -0800

Sugar and borax, sifted together and placed along the baseboards. Don't use too much borax, though, or the Astro Zombies will leave it alone.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:49:50 -0800

Astro who? Is this somebody I should know? Cause, like, he doesn't even have a wiki page.

Yeah, ok, so he showed up on the blue once, but, hey, big whoop, right?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 19:55:45 -0800

nutrasweet kills vampires?

By: Dizzy

Dizzy — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:28:05 -0800

...and little kids.
That's why Dizzy can't find Flintstones Vitamins for Little Dizzy, and Little Dizzy
is not happy about that.

By: turgid dahlia

turgid dahlia — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:44:57 -0800

Oh yeah? Well, I don't like any of you, either!

By: A dead Quaker

A dead Quaker — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:56:36 -0800

Reminds me of that old saying: behind every successful Astro Zombie, there's an Astro Zombie 2.

By: jtron

jtron — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 20:59:58 -0800

Seriously, though, if you're not reading Astro Zombie's blog, you're missing out. It is easily the highlight of my daily RSS feed, and makes me feel like less of a man. In a good way.

Astro Zombie 2's blog hasn't been updated in a good long while, unfortunately, and I think Astro Zombie 3 sticks to mySpace, which I avoid, so.

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:07:45 -0800

I'm certain Sailor Martin will hearken Eris and do that stabby job one of these muddled and ink-dumb evenings, when no prayer takes hurtling to a tailwind.

By: ikkyu2

ikkyu2 — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:48:52 -0800

I like Astro Zombie!

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:59:21 -0800

Speaking of favorite MeFites, I've been missing the wonderful nickyskye, since she stopped contributing here, due to health reasons, back in March. I wrote her just a few days ago, and received a gracious reply, informing that she is doing well. Many of you probably already know about this, but for anyone who doesn't, you can keep updated on her progress here. I sure hope she resumes her presence here at MeFi as soon as she's feeling up to it. She's like a ray of light.

By: Astro Zombie 3

Astro Zombie 3 — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:03:41 -0800

NARF!

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:05:19 -0800

Thanks, flapjax. Glad to know she's doing better.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:10:41 -0800

Oh my God, it's full of undead stars!

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:12:34 -0800

I'm very glad to hear about nickyskye. She's a good egg.

Thanks for the nice comments, all. I assume I am in part benefiting from increased visibility and goodwill engendered by my girlfriend's Pixar experiences, but I really appreciate your comments.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:29:32 -0800

By the way, I probably shouldn't be saying this, but astro zombies are solar powered. The key to stopping them is snapping off the solar cells on their head. Or, I suppose, turning out the light.

How do I know this? In part, because I discovered that if you email Astro Zombies creator Ted Mikels, he emails you back, usually within the hour. And I have abused that.

By: netbros

netbros — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:20:48 -0800

You know who else responds to email? Him.

By: davejay

davejay — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 00:40:17 -0800

Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...

C'mon, everyone!

Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:12:32 -0800

I'd been out of the MeFi loop for a while (due to uh, no good reason) so thanks flapjax for the update on nickyskye - I'd been wondering about her!

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 01:16:13 -0800

No metastases is always good news, except when you're talking about Astro Zombies. I think they breed that way.

By: Brandon Blatcher

Brandon Blatcher — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 02:38:47 -0800

He's a good zombie, if you're into that sort of thing.

By: Jofus

Jofus — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:33:45 -0800

He bestrides my world like a colossus.

If I look up, I can see his tallywhacker under his tunic.

By: Skorgu

Skorgu — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:36:42 -0800

Astro Zombie 3 is my favorite of the group. Such understated elegance.

By: cowbellemoo

cowbellemoo — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 06:47:47 -0800

I, too, would like to monkey-groom Greg Nog.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:04:36 -0800

I, too, would like to monkey-groom Greg Nog.

Have you met the guy, he actually arrives pre-groomed. I don't know what his secret is!

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:33:13 -0800

I don't know what his secret is!

Well, I did hear he has a monkey on his back.

By: willmize

willmize — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 07:39:45 -0800

And here I thought it was peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly time.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:02:21 -0800

He can't be stopped. I established a secret organization a few years ago specifically for the purposes of compiling a worst-case-scenario playbook for dealing with an Astro Zombie gone mad situation.

We evaluated biochemical warfare, the nuclear option, giant robots, teams of ninjas, giant robot ninjas, and our computer modeling indicated that in all instances, Astro Zombie would come out unscathed.

It was a bit dispiriting, but eventually we came up with a new plan: Appeasement. We give him what he wants (favorites) and he doesn't activate his mission for world destruction.

It's worked so far.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:23:03 -0800

I like all the Astro Zombies and Greg Nog too. I was in the Olive Garden the other day (hate all you want, but you can't beat that unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks lunch baby!) and I wanted to say to the host that seated us, "There is this cool series of comics online called 'I am a Host at The Olive Garden' that you should really check out cause they rock." but I was too chicken. So then I just gorged myself on soup salad and breadsticks in shame. They were delicious!

By: jamjam

jamjam — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 08:41:47 -0800

No, no you guys-- the only way to stop a zombie with astro powers is to get a faith healer from a UFO church to invoke the power of Cosmic Jesus and bring him back to life, after which he wanders harmlessly off to find some clean geeky clothes, take a shower, look for a job in high tech, and try to rent an apartment (good luck there, pal, when landlords find out you once reduced a twenty story condominium tower to rubble no more than two inches in diameter).

But we drove all our faith healers out years ago. We're totally at his mercy.

Way to go, militant secular humanists.

By: desjardins

desjardins — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:12:47 -0800

Honestly, has no one read the Zombie Survival Guide?

I gave this as a Secret Santa gift one year when I worked at a stuffy law firm. People either thought I was odd or awesome.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:19:05 -0800

NARF!

I agree, I think it's a shame that AZ gets all the love and attention and you get bubkes. So I favorited your comment. It's not much, but it's all I've got.

Thanks for the update on nickyskye, flapjax. I've been thinking about her.

By: xod

xod — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:25:12 -0800

I am working on a painting of Astro Zombie, naked, riding a zebra.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:27:36 -0800

Da Zomb iz Da Bomb.

By: CitizenD

CitizenD — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:04:16 -0800

Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...
Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie Astro Zombie...

mushroom, mushroom

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:14:07 -0800

XOD, you would make me the happiest man on earth.

Although, I must say, my happiness is somewhat tempered by the fact that this lovely thread also seems to concern itself with the question of how to kill me.

By: arto

arto — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:28:54 -0800

The plan involves a painting of somebody naked riding a zebra. I can say no more.

By: cowbellemoo

cowbellemoo — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:32:39 -0800

Have you met the guy, he actually arrives pre-groomed.

Dammit! How else are we to bond and enrich our social ties? I can just see it. I'll try to vocalize and then he'll adopt a defensive posture and it'll just go downhill from there. What a fucking mess.

By: Caduceus

Caduceus — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:32:40 -0800

What do you expect, man? You think we want you eating our space brains?

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:32:44 -0800

It now seems that there is a chance I might have known the real life Astro Zombie back in 1993-94. I lived in Minneapolis and was involved in various activist stuff. I recall going to a Max's apartment to discuss creating a green map of Minneapolis. Bells? A man named Drew was also there, for reference.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:37:56 -0800

Ah, quick question:

Did you and the other Astro Zombies just sort of walk through space until you reached the earth, or did you make use of some sort of conveyance.

Sincerely &c.
Chthonic Wolfman

By: empath

empath — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:40:09 -0800

AZ, have you applied for a job at Pixar, yet? Cause like, you should.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:42:01 -0800

That does ring a bell, strangeleftydoublethink. I did start out in the anarchist scene doing green stuff. And I can't think of any other TC anarchists at the time named Max. Must have been me.

In answer to your question, Chthonic Wolfman, we are created from the bodies of dead astronauts in order to be able to eternally fly spaceships, so we actually started out on earth.

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 10:45:06 -0800

I knew Astro Zombie when he was still alive! I knew Astro Zombie when he was still alive!

By: Fuzzy Skinner

Fuzzy Skinner — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:10:42 -0800

DOWN WITH ASTRO ZOMBIE!!!!!

UP WITH ASTRO ZOMBIE 3!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:11:52 -0800

NARF SHALL BE THE WHOLE OF THE LAW

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:24:30 -0800

How do I get rid of this Astro Zombie character, anyway?

Chainsaw Lazer..?
Chain Lazer Saw..?
Lazesaw?

Lazesaw.

You cut off his head with a lazesaw.

By: quin

quin — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:34:50 -0800

My team studied the possibilities of a lazesaw decapitation, but Astro Zombies creators were very clever. When the blade gets close, it will encounter the complicated electromagnetic countermeasures that his dessicated body produces. This will either cause the blade to simply fail, or if you are very, very unlucky, make the laser assembly go into what we called "Rave mode" where it pulses like strobelight and produces a pounding techno beat.

Our model indicated that this would cause him to either become infuriated and destroy everything, or possibly start dancing. We didn't feel that either possibility was worth the risk it posed to the world.

By: gingerbeer

gingerbeer — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 15:51:27 -0800

We saw this place when we were in Albuquerque, and for some reason it made us think of Astro Zombie.

By: Tube

Tube — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 22:30:53 -0800

Astro-George & George/Astro

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 16:50:00 -0800

Anybody have a current total favorites rank?