AskMe orthography

September 19, 2008 2:21 PM

Copied from a comment on AskMe: "TEH PORNZ IS SEEKRIT." Why didn't the commenter say "The porn is secret." Is this thought to be a funny way to write? (OK, make fun of me now.)
posted by JimN2TAW to Etiquette/Policy at 2:21 PM (107 comments total)

It's like Lolcats. So yeah, thought to be funny.
posted by MadamM at 2:24 PM on September 19, 2008

WHYZ U WRITZ SO GUDZ?
posted by pyramid termite at 2:24 PM on September 19, 2008

I think this is 'the internet from the 80's' type humor. One can find it in abundance on, say, the fark tube. Some people still find Bob Hope hilarious and jam to Jim Nabours.
posted by dawson at 2:26 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

You are doing it wrong.
posted by yhbc at 2:29 PM on September 19, 2008 [9 favorites]

I'M IN UR METATOK, SHOWING MAISELF TO B CHRONICLY OUT OF TOUCH WITH INTERNET TRENDZ.
posted by fire&wings at 2:29 PM on September 19, 2008 [47 favorites]

Nabors, even. May God and the prophet be with him.
posted by dawson at 2:31 PM on September 19, 2008

one more and I'll stop. Damn, Carol really was as hot as I used to think as a boy. Oh my. Let me be there in your night. Wink, wink.
posted by dawson at 2:34 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

People are also abbreviating "before" as b4 and "too" as 2. It's crazy!
posted by smackfu at 2:39 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

And has MetaTalk become just the chat board now? Seems like people post whatever is crossing their minds.
posted by smackfu at 2:40 PM on September 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

Yes, it's supposed to be funny. A second layer of humour lies in the capitalized faux-shouting, given that teh pr0nz are supposed to be secret.
posted by CKmtl at 2:44 PM on September 19, 2008

JimN2TAW: Also, the chicken wanted to get to the other side.
posted by Justinian at 2:47 PM on September 19, 2008

I almost made a post on MeTa the other day about the trend of mocking Republican supporters by deliberately misspelling words. 'Murrika for America, Librul, etc... Whenever I read right wing political blogs I see it all the time too. I'm not all that prescriptivist, but misspelling for humor makes the search function somewhat useless. I guess the only time I'm really concerned about it is when a best answer to an AskMe is in lolcat.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:49 PM on September 19, 2008

ALL YOUR ORTHOGRAPHY ARE BELONG TO US
posted by Miko at 2:52 PM on September 19, 2008 [11 favorites]

Metafilter: when a best answer to an AskMe is in lolcat
posted by gingerbeer at 2:55 PM on September 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

I love how everyone pretends that lolcats stuff isn't racist.
posted by Zambrano at 2:57 PM on September 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

And has MetaTalk become just the chat board now?

It's a dessert topping AND a floor wax.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:58 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Did you mean: "TEH PRONZ IS SEEKRIT" ?
posted by sanko at 2:59 PM on September 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

I'm sorry. I can't resist.

I love how everyone pretends that lolcats stuff isn't racist.

What?
posted by rtha at 3:02 PM on September 19, 2008

Why didn't the commenter say "The porn is secret." Is this thought to be a funny way to write?

Yes, this is indeed a funny way to write. The joke text contains three types of intentional defects, used for comedic effect: typo, all caps, and phonetic misspelling.

The use of typos and leetspeak for comedic effect was mostly popularized by SomethingAwful's Jeff K, a fictional "hax0r" that was a parody of the teenage hacker wannabes of the time. Jeff K's constant repeat of the common teh typo eventually made its way into Internet culture as a way to parody generic hacker language.

All caps and misspellings are more indicative of the later parody language of 4chan, specifically in LOLCATS. LOLCATS are humorous cat images, accompanied by text. The text is usually written in a fictional voice of the cat, which tends to be a broken form of English (due to the reduced intelligence of cats as a species when compared to humans).
posted by burnmp3s at 3:03 PM on September 19, 2008 [18 favorites]

lolcats isn't racist.

I fucking hate cats.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:04 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

I'm sorry. I can't resist.

I love how everyone pretends that lolcats stuff isn't racist.

What?

I think you'll find that on our modern internet, that's actually written as:

what
posted by flashboy at 3:05 PM on September 19, 2008 [17 favorites]

yeah, I deliberated over "what" vs "What?", but decided that, tonally, "What?" conveyed what I was hearing in my head better than "what" did. It's funny what teh convenchunz of teh internets mayk us think about.
posted by rtha at 3:11 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

I love how everyone pretends that lolcats stuff isn't racist.

dog privilege is everywhere
posted by pyramid termite at 3:14 PM on September 19, 2008 [5 favorites]

I fucking hate cats.

Are you saying that because my cats are black?
posted by desjardins at 3:16 PM on September 19, 2008 [9 favorites]

LOL WUT

can be accurately represented as

[lal uat^h]
posted by infinitewindow at 3:16 PM on September 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

JimN2TAW, if you have any teenage kids, whatever you do, do not let them see this question.
posted by M.C. Lo-Carb! at 3:17 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

ceiling cat sees your seekrit p0rn
posted by desjardins at 3:19 PM on September 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

I thought JimN2 was being sarcastic and ironic, no? hench my non sequitor replies
posted by dawson at 3:20 PM on September 19, 2008

I remember a day back in 2001 when a bunch of camgirls (do they still have those?) registered accounts on MeFi (before it cost $5 to join) and were all "omfg" and "kthnxbai" and the denizens of Metafilter gathered up their pitchforks and ran them out of town, lest they destroy our way of life with their inane chatter and cutesy web abbreviations. Good times.
posted by turaho at 3:23 PM on September 19, 2008 [5 favorites]

Racisming about lolcats is like dancing about architecture.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:24 PM on September 19, 2008 [7 favorites]

back in 2001 when a bunch of camgirls

Here.
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:27 PM on September 19, 2008

Indoor cats talk like this, outdoor cats talk like that
posted by desjardins at 3:28 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh, I was thinking this one.
posted by turaho at 3:28 PM on September 19, 2008

MetaFilter used to be so weird.
posted by roll truck roll at 3:31 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

"I love how everyone pretends that lolcats stuff isn't racist."

LOLCATS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE
posted by klangklangston at 3:34 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

languagehat wrote a whole blog post thing about

what

just sayin'
posted by fixedgear at 3:38 PM on September 19, 2008

Racisming about lolcats is like dancing about architecture.

Frank Zappa said it first.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:40 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Frank Zappa said it first.
But I thought it was Václav Havel?
posted by dawson at 3:54 PM on September 19, 2008

kk
posted by Brocktoon at 3:58 PM on September 19, 2008

LOLCATS aren't racist. Regular cats are elitist.
posted by roger ackroyd at 3:59 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

languagehat's post about

what

was great. I done a comment on it about Bill Murray, although thinking about it more, I'd probably refine my statement to say that

what

is the textual representation of the expression on Bill Murray's face.
posted by flashboy at 4:06 PM on September 19, 2008 [5 favorites]

I have no idea what any of you are talking about. So I'm just going to put these pants in my fish. I mean these pants on this fish. Err, I mean this fish on some pants. Fish pants. Pants fishing?


UK customers order now for up to an extra 50% of lame humour!
posted by loquacious at 4:11 PM on September 19, 2008

I like how language is alive.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:12 PM on September 19, 2008 [10 favorites]

u av d ryt 2 feel safe ll d tym, includN wen UzN ICT or yr mob ph.
posted by lukemeister at 4:14 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

But I thought it was Václav Havel?

No, we had it de-claved.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:20 PM on September 19, 2008 [9 favorites]

It's supposed to be funny. Usually, it's "funny"
posted by Kwine at 4:25 PM on September 19, 2008

When I get off my ass, I'll finally get around to doing a mashup of the LOLCATS and the Oll Kerrect "immigrant"/Yellow Kid speak.

WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON PWND!
posted by klangklangston at 4:29 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Ceiling Cat is..... BLACK!! SO LET'S STRING HIM UP BOYS!!!!
posted by panboi at 4:43 PM on September 19, 2008

the denizens of Metafilter gathered up their pitchforks and ran them out of town

So was this the brief golden age before Metafilter became a boyzone?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:50 PM on September 19, 2008 [2 favorites]

Where's the languagehat post on "what."?

I tried to not write that as LOLCAT but it still looks concussed to me.
posted by Pronoiac at 4:51 PM on September 19, 2008

YOU'VE GOT A HAM RADIO CALLSIGN
MASHED INTO YOUR NAME,

AND YET

YOU'VE QUESTIONING US
ABOUT THE ARRANGEMENT
OF ALPHANUMERIC CHARACTERS?

THAT REALLY TAKES SOME CHEEK.
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:53 PM on September 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

THAT REALLY TAKES SOME GEEK.


Fixed that for you.
posted by loquacious at 4:55 PM on September 19, 2008

Why didn't the commenter say "The porn is secret." Is this thought to be a funny way to write?

In the year 3535, archeologists will dig up hard drive remains and behold the wondrous Rosetta Stone that was once known as Ask Metafilter.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:57 PM on September 19, 2008 [9 favorites]

I was once as you, JimN2. I too asked to be schooled, and people were mostly very helpful.
posted by longsleeves at 5:25 PM on September 19, 2008

^5 2 ALL N 2 ALL A G@@D NITE!
posted by lukemeister at 5:31 PM on September 19, 2008

what
posted by fixedgear at 5:52 PM on September 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

.
posted by grouse at 5:56 PM on September 19, 2008

I think this is 'the internet from the 80's' type humor.

oh hai. is stop, hammer tyme?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:07 PM on September 19, 2008 [4 favorites]

so ANYWAY I am able to obtain a cheesburger? It may be compensation for the removal of my water receptacle. I had a water receptacle. And for the time when I was in the attic and accidentally happened upon you in your "private time". Despite which I nonetheless later assisted you with the technical difficulties you were having with the PC and helped increase the amount of memory it had.

You owe me.
posted by bonaldi at 6:41 PM on September 19, 2008 [11 favorites]

the internet from the 80's

also:

[lal uat^h]

what

... LOL doesn't rhyme with roll? I've been doing it wrong!
posted by moonmilk at 6:44 PM on September 19, 2008

People, people, people.

TEH PORNZ IS SEEKRIT - no


TEH PR0NZ IS IN TEH WOODZ -yes!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 7:13 PM on September 19, 2008

I only have one life to live let me live as a blonde
posted by nola at 7:13 PM on September 19, 2008

Okay, Zambrano is wfc123. i wondered where he'd gotten to.
posted by yhbc at 7:57 PM on September 19, 2008

this post is not a free pass to just post whatever the fuck flits thru yr demented minds...on topic people!!1one
posted by dawson at 7:58 PM on September 19, 2008

Nabors, even. May God and the prophet be with him.

Actually you were right both times -- in England he's Jim Nabours.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:04 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think you'll find it's spelled Gym Neighbours.
posted by arto at 8:19 PM on September 19, 2008

M.C. Lo-Carb: My son is 13 and now I'm ready for whatever. Thanks for the enlightenment.
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:30 PM on September 19, 2008

Longsleeves: Your empathy is appreciated.

thanks again to all.
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:39 PM on September 19, 2008

Someone set up us Jim Nabors.
posted by Pax at 8:40 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Is this thought to be a funny way to write?

TEH INTERNETS

let me show you them
posted by kittens for breakfast at 8:44 PM on September 19, 2008 [3 favorites]

dog privilege is everywhere

Only the ignorant believe this! My brothers around the world are still wearing the leashes of their masters - We didn't land on the Squeaky Plymouth Rock, the Squeaky Plymouth Rock landed on us!
posted by pupdog at 9:08 PM on September 19, 2008

Haha that was me. Why not just ask me?

Yes, I will ameliorate the obfuscation now:
TEH PORNZ IS SEEKRIT

Is:
-in caps because it's sarcasm about being secret and it's excited (dude hide your porn!)
- (TEH) (PORNZ(meant to type P0RNZ))is in leetspeek because it's about secret hackery (file hiding!)
-(SEEKRIT) actually does NOT refer to LolCats but rather to this video, which I believe actually predates the LOLcats meme.
-PORN(Z) IS, improper plural, indicating a general noobness/lolcats style speech abnormality.

So yes, I wrapped it all into one big sexy bunch of nonsense.

For the record, I played Shadowbane until...well, not very long ago. Inside that MMORPG, we developed a crazy, weird, unique-unto-itself set of l33t done entirely to obfuscate text from the asian zerg and to generally be annoying (because what else can you do when its 12 vs 200?). Often I find that overflowing into my fake internet jargon.

Interestingly, you knew just what it meant. :)
posted by TomMelee at 9:30 PM on September 19, 2008

Do we really need to HAF DIZ DESKRIPTIFIST VS. PRESKRIPTIFIST debate again?
posted by blue_beetle at 10:06 PM on September 19, 2008

Ceiling Cat is..... BLACK!! SO LET'S STRING HIM UP BOYS!!!!

FAIL!!!!!!! CEELIN CAT IZ WITE. IZ BASEMENT CAT DAT BLACK.
posted by katillathehun at 10:21 PM on September 19, 2008

ALSO: LINCHEENG HUMOR. NOT SO GRET ACKSHULLY.
posted by katillathehun at 10:23 PM on September 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

FWIW (for what it's worth) ceiling cat is a ginger
posted by =^^= at 11:56 PM on September 19, 2008

ceiling cat is a ginger

NO YUO!
posted by aramaic at 12:21 AM on September 20, 2008

i c wat u did thar
posted by casarkos at 12:30 AM on September 20, 2008

LANGWITCH IZ A VIREEZ FRUM OWTER SPEZZ.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:59 AM on September 20, 2008

"if you can't take reality based tv AskMe then you can't take reality MeTa which means you have a problem living in reality MeFi which means you have problems."
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:02 AM on September 20, 2008

Oh, and, DiD aNyBodY HaVe a PrEeTeEn KiD wHo ToTaLlY Got iNtO XaNgA????
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:13 AM on September 20, 2008

LOL rhymes with ball the way I talk. In any case, those are all the IPA glyphs I remember, and I'm fairly sure the [u] is wrong.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:13 AM on September 20, 2008

they speeks inglish in what
posted by grobstein at 10:25 AM on September 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

RACISM? IN MY LOLCATS?!?!
posted by paisley henosis at 11:23 AM on September 20, 2008

This is not relevant to my interests.
posted by availablelight at 12:35 PM on September 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

I like how language is alive.

How coem yu knoe teh langwidgez didnt b ded? Ai sawed nuffin inseid mai box, srsly.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:58 PM on September 20, 2008

In the year 3535, archeologists will dig up hard drive remains and behold the wondrous Rosetta Stone that was once known as Ask Metafilter.

Sometime after, alien archeologists visiting the eerily & mysteriously empty post-Singularity Earth uncover, among a great many other things, the fossil remains of a mudkip. They liek.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 1:15 PM on September 20, 2008 [2 favorites]

I CAN HAS LANGUAGECAT ?
posted by y2karl at 2:20 PM on September 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

Bah, when I misspell SEKRIT, it's a Bucakroo Banzai reference.
posted by hattifattener at 2:42 PM on September 20, 2008

TEH PORNZ IS SEEKRIT

There are explanations above as to where this came from. But I did not see anyone really explain the prevalence of it.

Typing comments in that form basically insulates the commenter from being criticized for making a joke that falls flat. It is the safest form of joke to make. No one can mock the person for the comment because the person has the excuse that they weren't really making that joke. Rather, they were making fun of people who might make that joke.

So you can't go wrong making jokes using that form, and people who don't want their jokes to be criticized will continue to use it.
posted by flarbuse at 7:31 PM on September 20, 2008 [2 favorites]

ʇɐɥʍ
posted by flabdablet at 8:05 PM on September 20, 2008

O HAI I JUST GOT HEER DID SOM1 SAY SEKRIT PR0N??!???//
posted by not_on_display at 10:58 PM on September 20, 2008

"I love how everyone pretends that lolcats stuff isn't racist."

Mai napsak, let me tell u about it.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:44 AM on September 21, 2008 [1 favorite]

This reminds me of the day I upgraded from a manual typewriter to my first computer. I was using Word Perfect 5.1 for DOS and when I got to the end of the first line, I went to hit the carriage return and knocked the monitor onto the floor.
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:04 PM on September 21, 2008 [5 favorites]

This reminds me of the day I upgraded from a manual typewriter to my first computer. I was using Word Perfect 5.1 for DOS and when I got to the end of the first line, I went to hit the carriage return and knocked the monitor onto the floor.

ROTFL. No seriously, that is hilarious.
posted by radioamy at 5:25 PM on September 21, 2008

(because what else can you do when its 12 vs 200?)

UR SPARTAZ REFRINS, LET ME MAK IT!

what
posted by CitizenD at 10:38 PM on September 21, 2008

This reminds me of the day I upgraded from a manual typewriter to my first computer. I was using Word Perfect 5.1 for DOS and when I got to the end of the first line, I went to hit the carriage return and knocked the monitor onto the floor.
ROTFL. No seriously, that is hilarious.

Well, it was in 1983, anyway.
posted by dg at 12:42 AM on September 22, 2008

c'mon dg, WP5.1 wasn't even released until '89...
posted by pupdog at 4:18 AM on September 22, 2008

a mashup of the LOLCATS and the Oll Kerrect "immigrant"/Yellow Kid speak.

"OH HAI! Dese days teh funny is dead easy. All yer have ter do is have sum kats talkin and yez kin make a blog!"
posted by octobersurprise at 6:13 AM on September 22, 2008

infinitewindow : LOL rhymes with ball the way I talk.

When I use it verbally, I prefer to affect the most solemn tone I can muster, and slowly enunciate each letter.

"Wow, that is hilarious! [serious voice] Ell... Oh... Ell..."

Something about this makes people really uncomfortable.
posted by quin at 7:52 AM on September 22, 2008

Oh, man, the camgirl threads. Home of the best snark MeFi's ever produced:

kthxbi <333

I cannot possibly evaluate the truth of this statement without knowing the values of the variables k, t, h, x, b, and i.

The overwrought gravitas, ("think carefully"), the uncharacteristically sincere response from #1, the equally vapid accusations of elitism being hurled from both sides of the room, the horrible crashing derail into libertarian capitalism...

Like a cool zephyr across the smoldering landscape.
posted by Mayor West at 8:10 AM on September 22, 2008

wot

afk brb
posted by Ceiling Cat at 10:05 AM on September 22, 2008

:3
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:18 PM on September 22, 2008

I less-than-three this place.
posted by Devils Rancher at 6:40 PM on September 22, 2008

Well, it was in 1983, anyway.

Lighten up, Nancy.
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:22 PM on September 22, 2008

<3 U 2 ;-)
posted by dg at 12:13 AM on September 23, 2008

:P
posted by turgid dahlia at 8:08 PM on September 24, 2008