Another call-out

March 17, 2009 9:25 AM

Joe Beese: Trotting out this line really is a weak defense to your kneejerk commenting on Metafilter. Please consider not trying to be that guy so much. Thanks.
posted by Burhanistan to Etiquette/Policy at 9:25 AM (227 comments total)

Joe Beese is having his own fun.
posted by Artw at 9:29 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Note: Everyone needs a fug.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:33 AM on March 17, 2009

Five examples out of a thousand? Come on, that's a bit weak.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:34 AM on March 17, 2009

It's annoying that he repeats it, but maybe you could consider, y'know, not telling people to shut up.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:34 AM on March 17, 2009

Someone is focusing on other members of the site, instead of the issues, topics, and facts at hand.
posted by theroadahead at 9:37 AM on March 17, 2009 [9 favorites]

I don't mind being told to shut up - or even being called a dick. But wishing for me to be decapitated is just tacky.
posted by Joe Beese at 9:38 AM on March 17, 2009

You told him to "fall off the train and get your limbs and/or head severed by the carriage wheels." Please consider not trying to be that guy so much. Thanks.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:38 AM on March 17, 2009 [24 favorites]

Joooooe Beese, off the lease
Flyin' down to metafilter
Like migrating geese.

Jooooooe Beese, you're outta sight
But be careful of Burhanistan,
He's dy-na-mite.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:38 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm just glad this MeTa isn't about favorites.
posted by jerseygirl at 9:41 AM on March 17, 2009 [15 favorites]

My apologies for suggesting your death and/or severe maiming, Joe Beese. But at a certain point it seems like you're trolling when you post that instead of addressing the ill-informed statement you made that caused a member to go off the rails a bit with you.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:43 AM on March 17, 2009

The decapitation reference seemed to me like a variant of "I hope your head falls off," more of an in-joke than actual wish, but that could just be me.
posted by cgc373 at 9:43 AM on March 17, 2009

Also, there's a link to http:/// in that FPP. Perhaps you need to spend more time working on your posts to the Blue than the ones on the Grey.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:43 AM on March 17, 2009

A thin post and a lame call out.
meh.
posted by special-k at 9:44 AM on March 17, 2009

Can someone please explain to me why I read metatalk?

This is a pretty lame call-out, even by call-put standards. Burhanistan was the kid in class that always raised his hand and tattled on the cool kids.

Oh, and...

Shut up, Joe Beese, you dick! (You said you didn't mind.)
posted by cjorgensen at 9:45 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

When life depends on it, you use asbestos.
posted by gman at 9:48 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

nanny nanny poo poo
posted by pianomover at 9:48 AM on March 17, 2009

Burhanistan: "My apologies for suggesting your death and/or severe maiming, Joe Beese. But at a certain point it seems like you're trolling when you post that instead of addressing the ill-informed statement you made that caused a member to go off the rails a bit with you."

And on reflection, my apologies for not recognizing the degree to which it was a thread-shitting comment. My now-documented lack of response to B-wood stuff made me assume it was going to be a LOLhindus thread rather than people enjoying their thing. My bad.
posted by Joe Beese at 9:49 AM on March 17, 2009

Previous thread that derailed into Joe Beese callout.

This one seems like a weak callout. Personally I haven't seen Joe Beese acting trollish in general, and in the two threads in those search results he's just expressing relatively normal contrarian positions and responding to personal attacks that resulted from them. No flaming torches necessary in my opinion.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:50 AM on March 17, 2009

kid in class that always raised his hand and tattled on the cool kids

Was tattled on a lot more than I ever tattled. Also, why does a call-out have to be dramatic and full of flames? Go shave your head or something.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:50 AM on March 17, 2009

His first two comments in that thread were topical responses to the post. That people did not like his perspective on the subject and reacted poorly does not change that fact.

I generally dislike Joe Beese's contributions to the website, but the problem in that thread was the hostility and reaction to someone's point of view about Bollywood, not Joe Beese's contributions, in my opinion.

As too often occurs, the derail occurred by the apoplectic response to a dissenting viewpoint on the topic. Different opinions are not derails.
posted by dios at 9:52 AM on March 17, 2009

I hate when people repeat the same shit.

Actually I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:52 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

Also, why does a call-out have to be dramatic and full of flames?

Generally, it helps if it isn't lame and full of moral outrage, especially when the person posting it was calling for someone one's death.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:53 AM on March 17, 2009 [5 favorites]

Also, why does a call-out have to be dramatic and full of flames?

Normally if it's a minor issue you're just supposed to use MeMail. If the collective reaction of the community is going to be "Yeah, so what?" then it's probably not worth starting a thread about.
posted by burnmp3s at 9:54 AM on March 17, 2009

I generally dislike Joe Beese's contributions to the website...

Holy shit. Can you fuckin' imagine how many people feel this same way about you?
posted by gman at 9:56 AM on March 17, 2009 [5 favorites]

Pony Request: "Dislikes" are killing MetaFilter, please remove them.
posted by cimbrog at 9:56 AM on March 17, 2009 [5 favorites]

Should've used MeMail. Got it.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:57 AM on March 17, 2009

Joe Beese: Trotting out this line really is a weak defense

Let the record state that Burhanistan says, "Neigh!"

(sorry, couldn't resist.)
(please don't send me to the glue factory!)
posted by Afroblanco at 9:57 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

gman: "I generally dislike Joe Beese's contributions to the website...

Holy shit. Can you fuckin' imagine how many people feel this same way about you?"

I had been about to post that the irony is that long before I ponied up the $5, dios was the first MeFi-er I recognized by name... from other people criticizing his comments all the time.

But there too, the hostility always struck me as being mostly about his unpopular opinions - not his site demeanor.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:00 AM on March 17, 2009

Should've used MeMail. Got it.

No, you shouldn't have called for his head to be crushed under a train. Or whatever.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:01 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Can you fuckin' imagine how many people feel this same way about you?

Can you?

Now someone do me, and then Joe Beese can do them, and the circle will be complete!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:05 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Eh... I was a dick (inadvertently) and he got hot under the collar. Can we call it a draw?

As a peace offering, here's some B-wood video they just put up at Boing Boing.
posted by Joe Beese at 10:06 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

(((((Hitler)))))
posted by bardic at 10:07 AM on March 17, 2009

As too often occurs, the derail occurred by the apoplectic response to a dissenting viewpoint on the topic. Different opinions are not derails.

I think it could be more accurately described as "apoplectic response to dissenting viewpoint by user perceived to be generally trollish." This is not to say that Joe Beese is in fact generally trollish, only that he clearly is perceived to be such. So, basically anything he says is read by many in some combination of the voices of Bender from The Breakfast Club, and Nelson Muntz. Which makes it seem worse than it is.

Solution: I don't know. Be careful how many toes you step on or you might be doomed to a reverse "boy who cried wolf" with a twist, called, "boy who did assholish things" where, when he did not-particularly-assholish things he was reacted to like he was doing assholish things?
posted by dirtdirt at 10:09 AM on March 17, 2009

* sullenly extinguishes torch *

The lack of flameouts around here is really disappointing.
posted by everichon at 10:10 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

No Joe. Once a challenge has been issued, you two must battle in MetaDome!

Two Mefites enter, no favorites leave!

Two Mefites enter, no favorites leave!

TWO MEFITES ENTER, NO FAVORITIES LEAVE!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:12 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

Is YouTube's logo green for anybody besides me? Did it happen in the last minute? What is going on? Is it related to St. Patrick's Day? Am I losing my mind? WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?
posted by cgc373 at 10:12 AM on March 17, 2009

Burhanistan, "Also, why does a call-out have to be dramatic and full of flames?"

Because you chose to make a public spectacle out of the kid you thought was picking his nose rather than taking him aside and letting him know you didn't find his behavior acceptable. Or what burnmp3s said.

And it's too soon to cut my hair, but I'll let you the world know when I do
posted by cjorgensen at 10:13 AM on March 17, 2009

Decapitation doesn't help people find answers. Thanks.
posted by lukemeister at 10:13 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

[!]
posted by Sys Rq at 10:15 AM on March 17, 2009 [7 favorites]

the hostility always struck me as being mostly about his unpopular opinions - not his site demeanor.

Well, the trolling may have something to do with it.
posted by dersins at 10:17 AM on March 17, 2009

gman: Holy shit. Can you fuckin' imagine how many people feel this same way about you?"

What the fuck does that have to do with the argument dios is making? Ad hominem much?
posted by frecklefaerie at 10:24 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Actually I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU.

Ooo the hate is escalating. There are caps and f-bombs now.
posted by iconomy at 10:32 AM on March 17, 2009

I'm also not generally a big fan of Joe Beese, but I'm definitely going to have to come down on his side on this one. Your leg to stand on was cut off by your train comment.
posted by Caduceus at 10:37 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

It just goes to show, you can't be too careful!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:38 AM on March 17, 2009 [7 favorites]

This is a pretty lame call-out, even by call-put standards.

Cool, now we're trading options in MetaTalk!

Short cortex!
posted by qvantamon at 10:41 AM on March 17, 2009 [6 favorites]

Also to Joe Beese's credit, he reacts pretty reasonably to being called out most of the time, and he doesn't seem to hold grudges. So I try and give him the benefit of the doubt, despite my initial negative impression of him. Thus my coming down on his side on this one.
posted by Caduceus at 10:41 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is a pretty lame call-out, even by call-put standards.

Oh, sweet, stock market metagame, ami—

Short cortex!

DAMMIT.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:43 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

On the substance:

This callout seems like an overreaction (and the head-losing rhetoric makes it seem pretty silly to boot in context), but I have to admit that I find rote throwback of the "note:" text pretty obnoxious when it's done like that.

And Joe Beese doesn't have a monopoly on it, though five times of his own is enough to get on my "please stop doing that annoying thing that you keep doing" radar, certainly.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:46 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

"Now someone do me, and then Joe Beese can do them, and the circle will be complete!"

It would be a jerk circle, AMIRITE?


See, the joke is that they're jerks, in a circle, and it's a play on a "circle jerk", and...never mind, sheesh
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:50 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

His comment was obnoxious/ignorant. I don't know if it warrants a whole MetaTalk thread though. Also, the fact that he reacts well when he gets called out isn't really a good thing. I mean, is he a professional at handling all his call outs now?
posted by chunking express at 10:51 AM on March 17, 2009

It would be a jerk circle, AMIRITE?

BUY
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:53 AM on March 17, 2009

Joe Beese isn't a troll. He's a curmudgeonly and opinionated old sumbitch. And surely that's awesome?
posted by Jofus at 10:54 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

The head-shaving insult was totally uncalled for, Burhanistan. What did we do to you?!
posted by cowbellemoo at 10:54 AM on March 17, 2009

Since neither of them are willing to flame out, can we tar and feather both of them anyway?
posted by double block and bleed at 10:56 AM on March 17, 2009

Guys guys. This isn't important. There are, in fact, more important things to discuss.

For God's sake, THEY'RE MOVING OFF THE GALACTICA, PEOPLE!
posted by shmegegge at 11:02 AM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]

chunking express: " is he a professional at handling all his call outs now?"

Sorry, I can't reply to this right now but I've got flamewars going on at several other websites at the moment. Talk to my secretary and she'll try to fit you in before end-of-business.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:02 AM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]

cowbellemoo, I am pretty sure he was referring to me cutting off my hair. (Obviously a self link)

And I'm putting a buy in on PB, but jessamyn is too spendy for my budget.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:03 AM on March 17, 2009

Since neither of them are willing to flame out, can we tar and feather both of them anyway?

Shades of Prisoner's Dilemma, there. If neither flame out, both get a relatively gentle drubbing?
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:04 AM on March 17, 2009

THEY'RE MOVING OFF THE GALACTICA, PEOPLE!

Deckhand, please craft my new flagship out of those big fucking gun batteries on the top of the ship. Thanks.
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:05 AM on March 17, 2009

Someone is focusing on other members of the site, instead of the issues, topics, and facts at hand.

Yeah Burhanistan, take it to MetaTalk.
posted by ALongDecember at 11:05 AM on March 17, 2009

cowbellemoo, I am pretty sure he was referring to me cutting off my hair.

I figured. I just wanted to make it seem like a conspiracy was out to get him. Because, you know ... it's totally not.
posted by cowbellemoo at 11:08 AM on March 17, 2009

Sorry, I can't reply to this right now but I've got flamewars going on at several other websites at the moment. Talk to my secretary and she'll try to fit you in before end-of-business.

SELL
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:11 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

the ill-informed statement you made that caused a member to go off the rails a bit with you.

I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this. Own your mistake dude. Nobody "caused" you to wish the guy be decapitated. A call-out on Joe Beese's part is entirely appropriate. Seriously, we don't get personal like that here.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:12 AM on March 17, 2009

Seriously, we don't get personal like that here.

Empirical evidence suggests otherwise.
posted by dersins at 11:18 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Dick.
posted by dersins at 11:18 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

sorry
posted by dersins at 11:18 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

the fact that he reacts well when he gets called out isn't really a good thing

Is not a good thing?? I don't know about the rest of Joe Beese' posts, but he's handling himself well on this thread.
posted by cranberrymonger at 11:19 AM on March 17, 2009

People get personal here all the damn time. (Or am I reading a different site than everyone else?)
posted by chunking express at 11:19 AM on March 17, 2009

Oh, sweet, stock market metagame

Wait, didn't we already try setting up a fake stock market, and then the guys running it shuffled around all of the investments to make themselves money, which ended up crashing the market, and then we all had to pay them even more money so that they wouldn't go bankrupt, which they instead used to give themselves bonuses? Because surely I can't be thinking of something that happened in real life.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:21 AM on March 17, 2009

Oh good, it's the muslins vs. the fatties. *sits back, opens funyuns*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:22 AM on March 17, 2009

Joe Beese is just alright with me.
posted by malocchio at 11:27 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

*nabs funyuns, smashes them to dust in the bag, adds ice cream and some milk (2%), shakes vigorously, hands the bag back*
posted by carsonb at 11:27 AM on March 17, 2009

Is not a good thing?

I'm thinking the implication was that while "he is reasonably civil about being called out" is a good thing of sorts, "he gets called out frequently" suggests something that's not good that the prior bit only partly mitigates.

That someone apologizes after they punch nuns is also, by this reasoning, not really a good thing.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:28 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

*nun punch!*
posted by cgc373 at 11:29 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Sorry.
posted by cgc373 at 11:29 AM on March 17, 2009

No no no what happened was that matt dressed up like a gorilla and tried to steal the FPP link harvest reports to sell to evan williams and steve jobs before the official announcement but cortex and jessamyn whom previously had been the victims of a cruel reversal of fortune because of a capricious wager got revenge by sneaking on to the train disguised as an african prince and a rastaman and languagehat was swedish though inexplicably wearing lederhosen and anyway they broke the market by waving a bunch of pieces of paper around like maniacs and then were on an island like HAHAHA WE COMMITTED FRAUD but they got away with it, in the end. I just saw the documentary about it last night on TNT.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:30 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Yeah, that was my point. Getting called out so regularly that people notice you are amicable about the whole process isn't a good thing: I come to these threads for the flame outs.
posted by chunking express at 11:30 AM on March 17, 2009

That someone apologizes after they punch nuns is also, by this reasoning, not really a good thing.

False equivalency; nuns usually have it coming to them.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:31 AM on March 17, 2009 [4 favorites]

Don't start in about what nuns wear being provocative, Alvy Ampersand. We'll never get out of this thread.
posted by cgc373 at 11:34 AM on March 17, 2009

*slurps tentatively from funshake sack, concentrates, adds a small squirt of sri racha*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:36 AM on March 17, 2009

Dude. Ambrosia Voyeur just squirted sri racha on somebody's funshake sack. That sounds unbelievably painful.
posted by cgc373 at 11:37 AM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Can someone please explain to me why I read metatalk?

I read MetaTalk because it's like the county fair of MeFi. Come for the funnel cakes (the feel-good threads), stay for the demolition derby (the call-outs and flame-outs).
posted by amyms at 11:43 AM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

ow ow ow my funshake ow
posted by The corpse in the library at 11:45 AM on March 17, 2009

*slurps apologetically from funshake sack*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:49 AM on March 17, 2009

cortex: "Is not a good thing?That someone apologizes after they punch nuns is also, by this reasoning, not really a good thing."

Hey, that was one time. And she totally had it coming.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:51 AM on March 17, 2009

I love Jesus, but I drink a little.
posted by mattdidthat at 11:53 AM on March 17, 2009

Nic nie rozumiem.
posted by Meatbomb at 12:03 PM on March 17, 2009

No no no what happened was that ...

SELL
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:06 PM on March 17, 2009

Calls and puts are too vanilla. I can offer people some lovely CDS [1], CDOs [2], and MBS [3].

[1] Cortex Default Swaps (otherwise known as the "End of the mod trade")
[2] Cortex Debt Obligations (AAA, honest)
[3] Mathowie Backed Securities (not sub-prime at all).
posted by patricio at 12:14 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I started the personal attack in that thread. Apologies to Joe Beese. Huggy hugs for everyone.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 12:16 PM on March 17, 2009

Oh man, I got here late. Can someone fill me in? Who plagiarized whom?
posted by DU at 12:17 PM on March 17, 2009

No way, patricio. Cortex is already leveraged 35-to-1.
posted by jbickers at 12:21 PM on March 17, 2009

[4] Jessamyn Super Primo Jammie Snappers
posted by y2karl at 12:22 PM on March 17, 2009

You know, I've had Burhanistan personally attack me at least once too, possibly more than once. Whose That Guy now?
posted by DU at 12:27 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

DANGER POINT!! Help maintain a healthy, respectful discussion by focusing comments on the issues, topics, and facts at hand—not at other members of the site.
posted by yeti at 12:30 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Joe Beese isn't a troll. He's a curmudgeonly and opinionated old sumbitch. And surely that's awesome?

Speaking as a curmudgeonly and opinionated old sumbitch, I have to agree. Also, this callout is lame.
posted by languagehat at 12:37 PM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

That someone apologizes after they punch nuns is also, by this reasoning, not really a good thing.

He who fucks punches nuns will later join the church the thread.
posted by scody at 12:42 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh, I get it. It's like "obese" but with a Joe in front of it.

Eh.

"I hate when people repeat the same shit.

Actually I FUCKING HATE ALL OF YOU."

I almost missed this week's eyeballkid because I thought it was a repeat, but it turns out they were doing a really funny but subtle meta-commentary on clip shows.

Wasn't there a comedy that did a clip show of clips that never actually happened in the series? I think some show like Family Guy should do a clip show where something is subtly different in each of the clips and you watch it and you're like, "wait, the couch is a different color" or like "Hey, Meg said Chris's line" or even "oh snap, they changed that Back to the Future reference into a Back to the Future II reference!" I would suggest they do it with the new Cleveland show, but Clerks the cartoon already did the whole "our first episode is a clip show" thing. Plus, we all know that the Cleveland spinoff thing is a joke, and FOX is going to be all like "psych! We didn't really cancel King of the Hill just to give another show to Seth MacFarlane. That would be suicide!"
posted by Eideteker at 12:46 PM on March 17, 2009

Hi!
posted by desuetude at 12:55 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Hi!
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:09 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Cortex is already leveraged 35-to-1.

It's not my fault that I'm that much better at teeter-totter than everyone else.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:12 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

*slurps apologetically from funshake sack*

Is *that* what you call them in America?
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:54 PM on March 17, 2009

I come to these threads for the flame outs.

Has there been a good one lately? I know there's been plenty of recent MeTas with potential, but everyone went and acted like a damned grown up too quickly. No fun.
posted by EatTheWeak at 2:25 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I thought we reinstated the cortex uptick rule, which is sort of like the offside rule, but for cortex. and upticks.
posted by GuyZero at 2:30 PM on March 17, 2009

nanny nanny poo poo

I DID NO SUCH THING.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 3:12 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I have been sent here from 40 years in the future to hug the living fuck out of people. I'm like the hugga-...
the something-a-nator... the frottage-o-...

I dunno. I'll work on my title later.

*TARGET ACQUIRED*

**HUGGING SEQUENCE INITIATED**

***CLASS IVb HUG DELIVERED TO TARGET SCODY***
posted by Mister_A at 3:14 PM on March 17, 2009

You were supposed to acquire some clothing before you started hugging everyone, Mister_A.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 3:20 PM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]

Nice night for a hug, eh?
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:29 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

I LOL'd, Kraftmatic and cortex.
posted by Mister_A at 3:32 PM on March 17, 2009

Here b-han, repeat this mantra three times and it will chill you right out...


"Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho"
"Mecca lecca hi, mecca johnny ho"
posted by vronsky at 3:36 PM on March 17, 2009

OMG, Mister_A is grabbing my ass!

Which is fine, because he's wearing a Paul Weller mask, but dude. At least buy me a drink first?
posted by scody at 3:41 PM on March 17, 2009

I want to swap out various verbs for "hug" in Terminator now. That'd be the best reel ever.

"I'll be hugged."

"It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are hugged."

"I'm Reese. Sergeant Tech-Com, DN38416. Assigned to hug you. You've been targeted for hugs."

I had forgotten how non-quotable the original film was, actually. I guess there's the sequel, though:

"Come with me if you want to hug."
posted by cortex (staff) at 3:43 PM on March 17, 2009

Scody, that's just how we say hi to each other, 40 years in the future [cue theremin]. Later, I will show you how we say "I like your ass."

Also, in the future? We have pants–with no butt!

*SPOILER ALERT*



The future is all about asses.
posted by Mister_A at 3:48 PM on March 17, 2009

I have always imagined Joe Beese like this.



Speaking of Paul Weller scody, I saw him do a live version of C'mon Let's Go on a vh1 special, just him and another guy on acoustic that was absolutely hair raising. Have you ever seen it? (I won't even link to other performances -- they don't even come close)
posted by vronsky at 3:50 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Joe Beese writes "As a peace offering, here's some B-wood video they just put up at Boing Boing."

I was all set to call Joe Beese a great guy. But a link to Boing Boing?

I hope you fall off your anachronistic Victorian airship and get decapitated by a rococo brass contraption with lots of click-y gears and no discernible purpose besides being shiny.
posted by orthogonality at 3:52 PM on March 17, 2009 [3 favorites]

This is how I imagine b-han and ubu and languagehat.
posted by vronsky at 3:58 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

What are you crying about now Bawwhanistan?
posted by turgid dahlia at 3:59 PM on March 17, 2009

vronksy: I've definitely seen the acoustic version Weller did with Steve Craddock at the Virgin Megastore set a few years ago, but I'm not sure if that's the one you mean. (Could it be that there's a whole Paul Weller special I haven't even seen? Is this possible? I... I may have to rethink everything I thought I knew about myself.)
posted by scody at 4:03 PM on March 17, 2009

everyone went and acted like a damned grown up too quickly. No fun.

Sorry, but only a little.

Joe Beese it would be great if you wouldn't pop in to SO many threads with sort of throwaway crappy comments so often and so early. Other than that you're okay around here.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 4:04 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

posted by cortex I want to swap out various verbs for "hug" in Terminator now. That'd be the best reel ever.

"I'm a friend of Sarah Connor. Could I hug her, please?"

I like to swap "love" for "drug" when I sing various songs:

"All You Need Are Drugs"
"Feel Like Makin' Drugs"
"You Give Drugs a Bad Name"
posted by mattdidthat at 4:05 PM on March 17, 2009

vronsky: "I have always imagined Joe Beese like this"

That guy's a fit endormorph. I'm just fat.

Though I can make my eyes move just like that.
posted by Joe Beese at 4:07 PM on March 17, 2009

It was an hour long special on VH1 with tons of Jam videos scody, hosted by that heavy-set vj, I forget his name. It was made of awesome -- best Weller song I have heard, better than that acoustic That's Entertainment even. (I had it on my dvr for years but had to get a stupid new cable box).
posted by vronsky at 4:08 PM on March 17, 2009

I thought we were talking about Peter Weller for a minute and I didn't understand why you weren't throwing out an obligatory "dead or alive, you're hugging with me!" while you were at it.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:10 PM on March 17, 2009

"Captain. There appears to be a IVb Hug approaching at sub light velocities and closing."

"Deflectors initiated."

"Already done Captain."

"Mr. Spock I'd appreciate if you'd await my orders."

"Yes, Captain. Deflectors off. Hug now within crucial fail safe range of 146,000 km. What are your orders?"

"What? Did I tell you to turn OFF the deflectors?"

"You implied, Captain. Deflector screens reactivated. Hug increasing velocity. We now have visual. I will bring it up on the main view scr..."

"Spock. I implied no such thing. Mr. Spock there is a clear chain of command here. Besides getting to blow up shit and banging Yeomen, saying 'activate Deflectors' is kinda my thing. Please don't take that away from me."

"Deflectors deactivated."

"Oh. Spock. Come on. You are just fucking with me now."

"DO YOU WANT ME TO ACTIVATED THE GOD DAMNED DEFLECTORS OR NOT!"

"Ahem. Activate Deflectors Scre..."


*HUG*
posted by tkchrist at 4:13 PM on March 17, 2009 [6 favorites]

Hey cortex, you know that scene set in the Tech Noir club in the original Terminator? It always reminded me of the disco scene in Fright Night.
posted by vronsky at 4:17 PM on March 17, 2009

I didn't understand why you weren't throwing out an obligatory "dead or alive, you're hugging with me!" while you were at it

I was too distracted by the Hug Called Malice.
posted by scody at 4:19 PM on March 17, 2009

What the fuck is all this silly shit about?
posted by Elmore at 4:22 PM on March 17, 2009

Stop! You creature of the night!



"you hug me right round

right round

like a hugger baby"
posted by vronsky at 4:26 PM on March 17, 2009

This seems like a good time to mention that when I told loquacious my username at a recent LA Meetup, his first words to me were, "You're an asshole!"

To which I responded, "Yes. Yes I am," but only because I thought a Tiger Woods style fist pump might have been a little much.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:32 PM on March 17, 2009 [2 favorites]

Joe Beese, when you gonna quit pretending to be a new member and tell us what your old username was?
posted by jbickers at 4:33 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

WHY IS MARCY D'ARCY DANCING WITH PRINCE HUMPERDINK

This seems like a good time to mention that when I told loquacious my username at a recent LA Meetup, his first words to me were, "You're an asshole!"

It's possibly he was just doing a pre-meetup pump-up routine in the mirror, fwiw.
posted by cortex (staff) at 4:39 PM on March 17, 2009

Does that pre-meetup routine involve doing "the tuck" and listening to goth music? Cuz OMG hawt.
posted by Mister_A at 4:49 PM on March 17, 2009

Also: Great use of the "beese" tag.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:54 PM on March 17, 2009

I like vronsky.

Burhanistan's cool, too, even though this callout probably wasn't the best idea he ever had.

Beese? I dunno...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:25 PM on March 17, 2009

I was there in real time when Joe Beese kept pasting that "please focus on issues at hand" blurb, and I thought he was coming across as a bit of a dick.

It struck me as a kind of petulant "I know you are, but what am I?" routine, that could easily have been resolved by MeMail.

Besides, the original comment countering his claim that Bollywood is a hipster fad was totally on point, and barely a personal attack at all, unless of course the recipient was prone to excessive preciousness.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:50 PM on March 17, 2009

It's St. Patrick's Day. Why the hell are you people sober?
posted by jonmc at 6:28 PM on March 17, 2009

Yo, jonmc, here in Japan St. Paddy's was yesterday. So all I've got is a hangover.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:10 PM on March 17, 2009

jonmc: "It's St. Patrick's Day. Why the hell are you people sober?"

I'm jusht very good at hiding my drunkenness.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:16 PM on March 17, 2009

slainte.
posted by jonmc at 7:46 PM on March 17, 2009

I say we take off and hug the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by Pronoiac at 7:52 PM on March 17, 2009

In space, no one can hear you hug.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:57 PM on March 17, 2009

You want the hug? You can't handle the hug!
posted by Mister_A at 8:20 PM on March 17, 2009

"I hope you fall off the train and get your limbs or head severed by the carriage wheels."

I take great offense at this Burhanistan, you lowly cur. This actually happened to a lady I once knew. So thank you for bringing up such a painful memory. Distols at pawn!




I like you too flapjax. Ah like you ah laht.


Let's dance.
posted by vronsky at 8:23 PM on March 17, 2009

Debbie hugs Dallas?
posted by nowonmai at 8:23 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Gimme that filet-o-fish, gimme that fish...
posted by jonmc at 8:28 PM on March 17, 2009

STOP TOUCHING ME YOU GODDAMN HIPPY FUCKS
posted by loquacious at 8:54 PM on March 17, 2009

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERHUGGING HUGS ON THIS MOTHERHUGGING SITE!!!
posted by team lowkey at 9:10 PM on March 17, 2009 [1 favorite]

Good to see that team lowkey is living up to the hype!
posted by winna at 9:35 PM on March 17, 2009

"So, basically anything he says is read by many in some combination of the voices of Bender from The Breakfast Club..."

I like Bender - and I enjoy Joe Beese's contributions to the website - but I'm also the sort who likes it when UbuRoivas offends everyone by being funny when they think he shouldn't, when Blazecock Pileon tells someone "Oh just go away", and when Krrlson boils it all down for us - I guess I just enjoy general contrariness.

"It's St. Patrick's Day. Why the hell are you people sober?
posted by jonmc at 6:28 PM on March 17"

If you're Irish, and not playing Plastic Paddy, every day is St. Patrick's Day. Drink up.
posted by HopperFan at 10:43 PM on March 17, 2009

Rules is rules.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:45 PM on March 17, 2009

To which I'd reply if I had a sock puppet handy:

Some rules are more equal than others.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:45 PM on March 17, 2009

If you're Irish, and not playing Plastic Paddy, every day is St. Patrick's Day. Drink up.

Exactly so.
posted by Wolof at 10:58 PM on March 17, 2009

I had forgotten how non-quotable the original film was, actually. I guess there's the sequel, though:

"Come with me if you want to hug."

Isn't "Come with me if you want to live?" Kyle Reese's line in the original movie?
posted by cgc373 at 1:13 AM on March 18, 2009

I like to swap "love" for "drug" when I sing various songs

Mattdidthat - I have a worrying love of the distinctly puerile "love/knob" version where the word love is swapped with knob. I am a child.
posted by patricio at 4:44 AM on March 18, 2009

I am shocked - shocked - to find hugging is going on in here!
posted by Kirth Gerson at 5:48 AM on March 18, 2009

Nobody hugs anyone - not that well.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:14 AM on March 18, 2009

A thousand comments in less than four months. That's an average of about 8 comments a day, not counting the MeTa and MeFi ones.

Where the hell do you work, Joe, and where can I apply?
posted by Phire at 6:30 AM on March 18, 2009

*MeTa and AskMe
posted by Phire at 6:36 AM on March 18, 2009

Isn't "Come with me if you want to live?" Kyle Reese's line in the original movie?

Yeah, but the callback in the sequel is a lot more effective and memorable, I think. Reese saying it was just an action movie line; the freakin' TERMINATOR saying it to Sarah in all her terror during the escape from the hospital, that was a Moment.

Plus I had been sort of trying to think of Hugging as something bad that Terminators did, though I realize I totally violated that basic notion by huggifying a Reese quote above, so I am not a reliable person here.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:38 AM on March 18, 2009

Or anywhere.
posted by Eideteker at 6:49 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

Random Quotes from Hug Wars:

“I’m Luke Skywalker, I’m here to hug you.”
“Aren’t you a little short for a hug?”
“This is some rescue. You came in here and you didn’t have a plan for getting hugged?”
“Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of hugs and villainy."
“I suggest a new strategy, R2. Let the wookiee hug.”
“When I hugged you, I was but the learner, now I am the master.”
“I find your lack of hugs disturbing.”
“Hug me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.”
posted by blue_beetle at 6:54 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

None off you all seem to understand. I'm not locked in here hugging you, you're locked in here hugging me!
posted by dirtdirt at 7:09 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

Ooh!

More Star Wars huggery:

"He doesn't like you. I don't like you either!"

"I'll be careful."

"You'll be hugged!"
posted by Mister_A at 7:10 AM on March 18, 2009 [2 favorites]

One ring to hug them all and in the darkness bind them
posted by double block and bleed at 7:28 AM on March 18, 2009

The first rule of Hug Club is you do not talk about Hug Club.

The second rule of Hug Club is you do not talk about Hug Club.

...if this is you first time, you have to hug.
posted by owtytrof at 7:39 AM on March 18, 2009

Is this going to be a standup fight, sir, or another hughunt?

Marines! We are hugging!

Hey, maybe you haven't been keeping up on current events, but we just got our asses hugged, pal!

I say we take off and hug the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:43 AM on March 18, 2009

There can be only hugs!
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:51 AM on March 18, 2009

I've always thought Joe Beese was a sock for Dr Mr President Whatever Elvis, who was a sock for some other troll that had a stupidly long stupid user name. I could be totally off base here though.
posted by slogger at 8:27 AM on March 18, 2009

Sock theories usually represent an underestimation of the number of different people on the internet capable of being obnoxious.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:30 AM on March 18, 2009 [6 favorites]

Joe Beese it would be great if you wouldn't pop in to SO many threads with sort of throwaway crappy comments so often and so early. Other than that you're okay around here.

Isn't that what sock puppets are for? That, and hugging yourself.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:31 AM on March 18, 2009

I like to swap "love" for "drug" when I sing various songs:


Drug is the love I'm thinking of
posted by Dr-Baa at 8:54 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

So has anybody else tried those new film-noiry Doritos with the neon light design on the bags? They're better than you'd image.
posted by jonmc at 8:55 AM on March 18, 2009

It's Wednesday at noon. Why the hell are you people sober?
posted by gman at 9:08 AM on March 18, 2009

I realize I'm a little late to the party, but can we please stop the fucking ad hominem attacks on dios whenever he posts? Whether or not you agree with him, he's contributed a hell of a lot more than almost every one of you pitchforking knee-jerkers.

It might, just might, turn this place into a bit less of the left-wing echo chamber it's often accused of being.
posted by mkultra at 9:15 AM on March 18, 2009 [4 favorites]

23 hours after the last of 2 or 3 comments is awfully late to be making a mountain out of a molehill.
posted by y2karl at 9:36 AM on March 18, 2009

Whether or not you agree with him, he's contributed a hell of a lot more than almost every one of you pitchforking knee-jerkers

Quantity defines quality. Got it.
posted by dirtdirt at 9:42 AM on March 18, 2009

Case in point: ParisParamus.
posted by gman at 9:44 AM on March 18, 2009

y2karl: 23 hours after the last of 2 or 3 comments is awfully late to be making a mountain out of a molehill.

Yeah, well, sorry I'm not on here every five seconds. Is there a statute of limitations on calling out shitty behavior?

dirtdirt: Quantity defines quality. Got it.

dios has you beat on both.
posted by mkultra at 10:08 AM on March 18, 2009

"Hog Hug? What kind of parent names their kid Hog Hug?"
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:13 AM on March 18, 2009

dios has you beat on both.

Not really.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:17 AM on March 18, 2009

I'd hug that.
posted by philomathoholic at 10:31 AM on March 18, 2009 [1 favorite]

Blazecock Pileon: Not really.

Would you feel better if dios became so ashamed of his own posting history that he disabled his account and returned under a new pseudonym?
posted by mkultra at 10:51 AM on March 18, 2009

Is there a statute of limitations on calling out shitty behavior?

I don't understand. Can people call Dios on old crimes or not? Please note: I have no beef with Dios whatsoever. I don't think I've ever had any direct interaction with him at all except for this thread where, I think, there was no static. I certainly did not intend any.

But for you to come in waving the "he's contributed more than an of you left wing echo-chamber people, so shut up" flag around, at a few comments a hundred comments ago is silly. Settle down. You are reacting to something, I guess, but it isn't something that is happening in this thread.
posted by dirtdirt at 11:02 AM on March 18, 2009

не понимаю
posted by Meatbomb at 11:06 AM on March 18, 2009

dirtdirt: But for you to come in waving the "he's contributed more than an of you left wing echo-chamber people, so shut up" flag around, at a few comments a hundred comments ago is silly.

If you read the words I wrote, in the order in which I wrote them, it should be apparent that I'm not saying that.

dirtdirt: I don't understand. Can people call Dios on old crimes or not?

This is the crux of my issue. After an initial period of being a prickish provocateur, dios has made a concerted effort to not be That Guy, and has become a valuable contributer to the site. Two seconds of looking at his posting history makes that crystal clear. In spite of that, you've still got jackasses like gman jumping all over him because of shit that happened years ago. It's just lazy and childish. If you're still carrying around that kind of hate, then that says more about you than dios.
posted by mkultra at 11:21 AM on March 18, 2009

Joe Beese = ZachsMind
posted by banshee at 11:52 AM on March 18, 2009

posted by mkultra After an initial period of being a prickish provocateur, dios has made a concerted effort to not be That Guy, and has become a valuable contributer to the site. Two seconds of looking at his posting history makes that crystal clear. In spite of that, you've still got jackasses like gman jumping all over him because of shit that happened years ago. It's just lazy and childish. If you're still carrying around that kind of hate, then that says more about you than dios.

Word. So much for the Brand New Day.
posted by mattdidthat at 12:10 PM on March 18, 2009

Joe Beese = ZachsMind

Nah. Joe has better taste in music.
posted by jonmc at 12:24 PM on March 18, 2009

Would you feel better if dios became so ashamed of his own posting history that he disabled his account and returned under a new pseudonym?

You know, I'd actually feel better if both of you simply closed up your accounts and didn't bother returning.

jackasses like gman

Sorry, who the fuck are you?

...because of shit that happened years ago.

Look, dickwad, if I were allowed, I'd post a MeFi Mail a certain someone sent me in 2008.
posted by gman at 12:45 PM on March 18, 2009

dirtdirt: "Whether or not you agree with him, he's contributed a hell of a lot more than almost every one of you pitchforking knee-jerkers

Quantity defines quality. Got it."

I don't see why you automatically conclude "quantitatively superior" from "more". It could just as well mean "better material".
posted by Phire at 1:07 PM on March 18, 2009

RIP funny hugging mini-meme.
posted by Mister_A at 1:21 PM on March 18, 2009 [3 favorites]

I'd post a MeFi Mail a certain someone sent me in 2008.

From : dios
Date : Nov 23, 2008 1:05 PM
Subject : my favorite poster ever
Message :
Dear gman,
I just wanted to let you know that you're my favorite metafilter poster ever and I have a huge crush on you and I want to have a million of your babies.
XOXOXOXO, dios

I don't see what's so objectionable about that.
posted by dersins at 1:22 PM on March 18, 2009

Would you feel better if dios became so ashamed of his own posting history that he disabled his account and returned under a new pseudonym?

I would feel better if he acknowledges his behavior, which has not occurred, and changes it, which has not occurred nearly to the degree you seem to think. "Brand New Day" is a two-way street.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:23 PM on March 18, 2009

I don't see why you automatically conclude "quantitatively superior" from "more". It could just as well mean "better material".

I admit that it is clumsily written, and I might have gotten it wrong.
posted by dirtdirt at 1:27 PM on March 18, 2009

ummmmm... I forwarded that to you in confidence, dersins.
posted by gman at 1:29 PM on March 18, 2009

gman: Sorry, who the fuck are you?

Someone who's been here twice as long as you.

gman: Look, dickwad, if I were allowed, I'd post a MeFi Mail a certain someone sent me in 2008.

Not only do I have no idea what you're talking about, but this statement is childish on so many levels. You might get a more reasonable discussion if you approached it with a certain level of maturity.

Blazecock Pileon: "Brand New Day" is a two-way street.

"Brand New Day" does not mean what you think it does.
posted by mkultra at 2:32 PM on March 18, 2009

"Brand New Day" does not mean what you think it does.

I'm pretty well settled with what "Brand New Day" means and does not mean, thanks.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:37 PM on March 18, 2009

POOP! STINKY POOPY POO-POO POOP!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:48 PM on March 18, 2009

Blazecock Pileon: I'm pretty well settled with what "Brand New Day" means and does not mean, thanks.

You may want to reopen the dictionary:

So I'm proposing a fresh start:

1. No more bringing up pre-reset comments as justifications for your comments/attitude towards others.
2. If you act like an abrasive ass, there will be serious repercussions, and you can't cry, "Yeah, but so-and-so always does that..."

This does not mean that you have to forget every insult you feel you've ever suffered. It does require you to temporarily give the assholes the benefit of the doubt. It also gives the offenders a chance to change their ways without someone constantly throwing their past comments in their face.
posted by mkultra at 2:57 PM on March 18, 2009

You may want to reopen the dictionary

And I'm telling you what it actually means, from someone who is well familiar with the concept as it is applied here, on this very site.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:59 PM on March 18, 2009

OK, that's cool. You stick with your definition. I'll stick with what's actually been said.
posted by mkultra at 3:07 PM on March 18, 2009

Is this the part where I bring up Paul Weller again and point out that the title is actually Brand New Start? No? That's cool, he and I will just be over here hanging out.
posted by scody at 3:08 PM on March 18, 2009

OK, that's cool. You stick with your definition. I'll stick with what's actually been said.

What's been "said" isn't actually how it works at all. But you stick with your "dictionary" despite how the site actually operates.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:10 PM on March 18, 2009

One morn I awakened
A new sun was shining
The grey was a Kingdom
All covered in blood
The moon and the stars
Where the mefites lay conquered
Like fruit left to wither
Poor spiritual food

And the spears of bright sun
All brave with its conquest
Did hover unearthly
O'er pitchforks and fire
I knelt in the garden
Awash with the dawning
And a voice came so brightly
I covered my eyes

Thank you for giving
This bright new morning
So steeped seemed the evening
In flameouts and snark
Let there be be no sadness
No sorrow
There'll be no callout so shallow
There'll be a new day
And it's today
It's for us
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:11 PM on March 18, 2009

Blazecock Pileon: What's been "said" isn't actually how it works at all. But you stick with your "dictionary" despite how the site actually operates.

"How the site actually operates"? What? Did I miss something about tribunals and confessions in the wiki? Come on, man.
posted by mkultra at 3:21 PM on March 18, 2009

Did I miss something about tribunals and confessions in the wiki? Come on, man.

Without getting elaborate, people here are pretty forgiving. Once you own up to your mistakes and stop being a prick, people move on. The "stop being a prick" is a key part to making "Brand New Day" work here at Metafilter. I can't comment on hyperbole about "tribunals" and "confessions" but the solution works well, for the most part.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:29 PM on March 18, 2009

So wait - if everyone stops being a prick then there won't be any more petty little pissfests at the bottom of Metatalk threads, right, and nobody will be dismissive and make everything into a dramatic argument about who is right?

That would be super excellent. I am going to bed now, let's make tomorrow a Brand New Day!
posted by Meatbomb at 4:24 PM on March 18, 2009

So wait - if everyone stops being a prick then there won't be any more petty little pissfests at the bottom of Metatalk threads, right, and nobody will be dismissive and make everything into a dramatic argument about who is right?

I'll answer that as soon as I clear my spam out, Meatbomb.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:37 PM on March 18, 2009

I'm watching a DVD of BT'd episodes of You Bet Your Life from 1961, so I'm basically watching dead people. It's still funnier than anything else that's on TV. The internet, too.
posted by jonmc at 5:43 PM on March 18, 2009

Joe Beese it would be great if you wouldn't pop in to SO many threads with sort of throwaway crappy comments so often and so early.

Sure would be great if Joe bothered to acknowledge that little sentence above from one of the site's mods.
posted by mediareport at 9:53 PM on March 18, 2009

I like to swap "love" for "drug" when I sing various songs:

I like to swap "whenever you smoke the bong" for "whenever you're gone" and similar occurrences of "smoke the bong" for "gone." Ya have to jam an extra few syllables in there, so it makes it sound xXtra funny.

Also swap "poo" for "you" but that's stating the flamin' obvious, eh?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:03 PM on March 18, 2009

Look, dickwad, if I were allowed, I'd post a MeFi Mail a certain someone sent me in 2008.

The sheer amount of impotent indignation in that comment made me choke on my Rice Krispy square. Either say damn the consequences and post the stupid thing, or STFU with the coyly passive-aggressive pussy-footery. Or better yet, take it to MeTa - with the first six posts being about fun meet-ups, the front page is running a severe risk of not having any pointless petty bitching on it.

My crabbiness is brought to you by the ADD-shmuck who was trying to cajole the bus driver into throwing me off tonight because I kept glaring at him everytime he started pulling on the steering wheel while the bus was in motion, the unidentified lump of shit who jimmied open my mailbox, and the letter Q. Fucking Q. Give me some time, I can probably figure out an excuse to hate Paul Weller, too.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:27 PM on March 18, 2009

I would like to nominate myself as MC of the weekly Metatalk HAKKA DANCE OFF!

DRAMA! THREATS! INSULTS! And then hugs and a Brand New Day for all, as soon as we clear our spam folders and the bad people have gone away.

This week's contenders:

• Sorry, who the fuck are you?
• Been here twice as long as you!!
• You may want to reopen the dictionary!!
• Look, dickwad, if I were allowed, I'd post a MeFi Mail!!
• And I'm telling you what it actually means!!

Who will be schooled this week? Who will do the schooling?

VOTE WITH YOUR FAVOURITES!
posted by Meatbomb at 2:30 AM on March 19, 2009 [6 favorites]

Meatbomb, knock it off.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:49 AM on March 19, 2009

Dudes, Joe Beese and I are square. No way in hell is he Zach's Mind, by the way.

Also, you're all tards.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:55 AM on March 19, 2009

*hugs bhan until he stops breathing*
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:56 AM on March 19, 2009

posted by Blazecock Pileon Meatbomb, knock it off.

Flag it and move on.
posted by mattdidthat at 10:07 AM on March 19, 2009

Apologies, BP, but we are closed to new entries at this point, as the judging has already begun. Best of luck for next week's competition!
posted by Meatbomb at 10:13 AM on March 19, 2009

Hey, boys, get a room. You're making me blush.

(Yes, this means you.)
posted by desuetude at 10:25 AM on March 19, 2009

Apologies, BP, but we are closed to new entries at this point, as the judging has already begun. Best of luck for next week's competition!

Seriously, give it a rest.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:14 AM on March 19, 2009

♫ dios does not exist
But if he does I always notice him.
Getting ready in his airy room.
He's picking his gloves so gently off.
He wants to touch me. ♫

He said hi. I said hi,
I was still clean.
posted by everichon at 11:27 AM on March 19, 2009

Blazecock Pileon: Seriously, give it a rest.

(hint: there's a reason he keeps going)
posted by mkultra at 12:04 PM on March 19, 2009

You're supposed to include a link.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:05 PM on March 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

Sure would be great if Joe bothered to acknowledge that little sentence above from one of the site's mods.

I got a nice MeMail from him, actually. Some people are into the public rending of garments, others not so much.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:58 PM on March 19, 2009

I would just like to add that I traded MeMails with Joe Beese two days ago and this has been amicably resolved. No word on why others decided to go apeshit here, though.
posted by Burhanistan at 2:02 PM on March 19, 2009

Joe Beese: at it again in a new thread.
posted by ericb at 2:39 PM on March 19, 2009

Some people are into the public rending of garments, others not so much.

You're suggesting he's *not* squarely in the "into public rending of garments" category? That's kind of funny.

But thanks, it's nice to know he's not once again totally ignoring repeated calls from mods to stop with his constant barrage of "throwaway crappy comments." You're almost certainly going to have to tell him that again, though. And again...and again...and again...
posted by mediareport at 3:17 PM on March 19, 2009