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? July 8, 2009 11:07 PM   Subscribe

What does this post have to do with gay marriage?

It looks like a YouTube post of a monkey attempting to kiss a kitten. Unless there's missing footage, no gay people show up in matching tuxedoes or wedding dresses.
posted by Blazecock Pileon to Etiquette/Policy at 11:07 PM (173 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

What I said there: it seems pretty obvious that it was meant to take the piss, given how many right-wing troglodytes claim that gay marriage will lead to all sorts of nastiness.

Unclench.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:09 PM on July 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


it seems pretty obvious that it was meant to take the piss

That's not obvious, given the history of the person who wrote the post.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:10 PM on July 8, 2009


I think the poster is mocking the usual right-wing attack of "If we let teh gays marry it will lead to people marrying their dogs/cats/horses etc". In this case, gay marriage has led to a monkey kissing a kitten. Ha. Ha ha. And so on.

The poster is drawing with a long bow to make it work, and that's why it doesn't work really. The link isn't particuarly strong either. Frankly it's lasted longer on the front page than I thought it would.
posted by Effigy2000 at 11:12 PM on July 8, 2009


Blazecock, you think I'm unfamiliar with the sewer-dwelling nature and poo-flinging habits of Krrrlson?

You think I'm not aware or vocal when homophobic bullshit gets trotted out around here?

Seriously dude, unclench. It was taking the piss.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:14 PM on July 8, 2009


If it wasn't meant to be funny, it failed. Utterly.
posted by philip-random at 11:24 PM on July 8, 2009


i thought it was a bullshit way of presenting it too and said so
posted by pyramid termite at 11:26 PM on July 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's still a better post than that one of the monkey eating its own spooge.
posted by Justinian at 11:29 PM on July 8, 2009


god, a test signal's better than that monkey eating its own spooge
posted by pyramid termite at 11:31 PM on July 8, 2009


Wait. WaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT.

There was a post of a monkey eating his own spooge? And I missed it?!?
posted by item at 11:43 PM on July 8, 2009 [5 favorites]


Link, please.
posted by item at 11:43 PM on July 8, 2009 [2 favorites]


This is a test. For the next sixty seconds, this station will conduct a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. This is only a test. If this had been an actual emergency, you would have been instructed where to tune in your area for video of a monkey eating its own spooge.
posted by pracowity at 11:48 PM on July 8, 2009


item, here is the thread you wanted

i'm just a little spooked that justinian's comment above is numero uno on a google search for "monkey eating its own spooge"

that only took 15 minutes - my god, there is a big brother
posted by pyramid termite at 11:48 PM on July 8, 2009


well, the link in the thread no longer works - no monkey spooge for you
posted by pyramid termite at 11:50 PM on July 8, 2009


HA!

Gay people!

Ha!
posted by eyeballkid at 11:52 PM on July 8, 2009


Oh yeah - I remember that post. It had a link to a video of a monkey eating his own spooge in it, right?
posted by item at 11:54 PM on July 8, 2009


yeah, it was a link to a video of a money eating his own spooge, but he lost his job and he can't even afford to eat that no more
posted by pyramid termite at 11:58 PM on July 8, 2009 [1 favorite]


Did you see the one of the spooge eating the monkey though? Cripes!
posted by Effigy2000 at 12:00 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Someone should teach monkeys how to use video cameras...and the rudiments of copyright law.
posted by felix betachat at 12:05 AM on July 9, 2009


That's not obvious, given the history of the person who wrote the post.

BRAND NEW DAY

aka

let's just take things at face value.

And if we want to get all stateful, it's not like Krrrlson has a history of subtlety - he may be many things but he has never been subtle. If he was going to be shitty and evil I think everyone would know.
posted by GuyZero at 12:06 AM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Just to be clear, there is a monkey (I'm assuming an actual monkey, and not an ape who has mistakenly been labeled as a "monkey"), who produces (through a process which, though not identified, is easily imagined) "spooge" (slang for "semen," I believe), which the monkey (or possibly "ape," though we have no confirmation on that point yet) then proceeds to eat (presumably straight up, and not as a condiment on another foodstuff) and this event was caught on "video" (probably digitally, either to internal memory or onto a SIM card, using an inexpensive digital camera (such as those manufactured by Casio or Nikon), though it is possible the footage was shot professionally), posted to a web site which hosts videos (such as "youtube" or "vimeo"), and then shared via an HTTP address with the world at large (which would include a user sharing it via a FPP ("Front Page Post")) here on Metafilter ("Community Weblog")?
posted by maxwelton at 12:16 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'd like to exchange this dudgeon. It isn't high enough.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:28 AM on July 9, 2009 [6 favorites]


let's just take things at face value.

Okay, so what does a monkey rubbing up against a cat have to do with civil rights, again?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:34 AM on July 9, 2009


That it's a parody of some people's opinion of what gay marriage will do to the world?

There are lots of unfunny jokes where the attempt at humour is still pretty clear in spite of the lack of laughs at the punchline.

Having crusaded against weak posts, if that's what you're going to do you've got a long way to go and from experience, you're not going to get very far.

Unless this actually has nothing to do with the contents of post and is actually a personal vendetta.

But allow me to quote a wise sage:

Seriously dude, unclench.
posted by GuyZero at 12:43 AM on July 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


That it's a parody of some people's opinion of what gay marriage will do to the world?

That it is a parody is not a given. The YouTube post is offensive, regardless.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:48 AM on July 9, 2009


Shitty post is shitty.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:01 AM on July 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


Stop trying to knock me down the Google ranking for "monkey eating its own spooge". I plan to monetize this opportunity and my lawyers will be contacting anyone attempting to googlejack me.
posted by Justinian at 1:03 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


*giggle*
posted by felix betachat at 1:05 AM on July 9, 2009


Monkey eating its own spooge.
posted by item at 1:15 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


That it is a parody is not a given. The YouTube post is offensive, regardless.

Let me try and be a little more clear.

There are people on this site who would consider me ...vocal... when it comes to LGBT issues, particularly homophobia espoused by members of the site.

There are even those who might consider me shrill, or liable to fly off the handle at such things.

And I would venture to guess that many of those people would also think that I tend to get worked up over relatively little things.

I would go so far as to say that the above opinions pretty much cover everyone who has read my posts and bothered remembering who I am. With me so far?

If one were to even grant that the above people were half right--which may well be reasonable--I should be foaming at the mouth about this. I'm not. In fact, I'm telling you that you are flat out wrong in throwing a wobbly about this issue.

Seriously, at this point you are just embarrassing yourself and this appears to be a personal axegrindy sort of a grudge thing, as opposed to taking this at face value. Is it possible the Krrrlson is just being his normal enormously dickish self? Of course it is.

But when an incredibly mouthy and uppity little faggot who gets seriously pissed off at an enormous range of homophobic bullshit on this site and elsewhere is telling you that you are overreacting? You are probably overreacting.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:16 AM on July 9, 2009 [41 favorites]


Throwing a wobbly?
posted by item at 1:19 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]




Throwing a wobbly!
posted by that girl at 1:31 AM on July 9, 2009



It's still a better post than that one of the monkey eating its own spooge.


oh. i kinda thought that was where the internet peaked. oops.
posted by sourwookie at 2:19 AM on July 9, 2009


I don't think he was seriously advancing the argument that gay marriage was the cause of a monkey getting all up on a cat. Krrlson is pretty annoying when he goes off on his "wah, the left wing bias" tirade, but I think it's pretty clear this was in jest.

Also, my new favorite phrase: throwing a wobbly!
posted by cj_ at 2:27 AM on July 9, 2009


MASS HYSTERIA!
posted by turgid dahlia at 2:49 AM on July 9, 2009


Blazecock Pileon: That's not obvious, given the history of the person who wrote the post.

Yes! From now on, let it be remembered that every person's posting history must be taken into account whenever we're evaluating one of their posts!

In fact, maybe we could have big, fat, blinking USER TAGS, or maybe more like USER SCARLET LETTERS, that follow us all around wherever we go on the site! Of course we'd start with Krrlson, who'd get a big fat HAS A SINGLE AXE, NAMED ‘LIBERAL BIAS! LIBERAL BIAS!’, AND INFINITE TIME IN WHICH TO GRIND IT; and next to my username, there could be the words MAKES SILLY AND OVERWROUGHT COMMENTS ABOUT HOW COOL XIANITY IS! ALSO CURSES A LOT AND LIKES LOUD MUSIC! GETS INTO NASTY ARGUMENTS! And, oh, who else? It's Raining Florence Henderson could get a MOSTLY RIDICULOUSLY HILARIOUS JOKEY COMMENTS, BUT OFTEN WILL SURPRISE YOU WITH RATIONAL EVEN-HANDEDNESS, and Pope Guilty could get a HATES CHRISTIANITY! A LOT! YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT and, well, I'm sure we'll all have so much fun figuring out exactly how everybody's supposed to act.

C'mon, people! Members of the community aren't going to pigeonhole themselves, after all! I mean, if we don't reduce everybody to a two-dimensional stereotype, they might all go and do what Krrlson has done here and make a humorous, easygoing post that's funny and that leads us to believe he can laugh just like anybody else—and if that happens, well, our well-cultivated antipathy toward each other will be in dire jeopardy! DIRE JEOPARDY, I tell you!
posted by koeselitz at 3:25 AM on July 9, 2009 [10 favorites]


The thought process that went into this callout, by the way, was (I imagine) something like this:

Hmm. Another Krrrlson post…awesome! It's been way too long since we had a big Krrrlson flameout, and I miss making him kvetch about stuff until he embarrasses himself. Guess we'll just click on here and go into the thread…wait, what the fuck? This is just a funny link to a YouTube video! Not only that, but it seems to be a joke at the expense of his own political compatriots!

This sucks, dude. What the hell? How am I going to make Krrrlson flame out if he's just joking around and being good-natured? There must be some way…

Oh wait, I've got it! I'll post to Metatalk! I know Krrrlson—he won't be able to resist flaming out then!
posted by koeselitz at 3:33 AM on July 9, 2009


Ooh ooh, do me!
posted by item at 3:34 AM on July 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


So this thread is just people proving they know your posting habits then? Because god if that isn't a lovely sight. Everybody who pays attention to you loves you, right? For truth. It is Krrrlson though. He/She/It, he, loves to have attention paid. So yeah. Attention paid. Plus is it me, or is it kind of freaky to see a bunch of bare-footed people moving in a circle around a monkey-cat love-off? Like eldritch freaky.
posted by Peztopiary at 3:57 AM on July 9, 2009


Okay, so what does a monkey rubbing up against a cat have to do with civil rights, again?

Ceiling Cat isn't watching you because you're too fucking boring.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 3:59 AM on July 9, 2009 [6 favorites]


He/She/It...

Sound that out and you've summed him up.
posted by gman at 4:01 AM on July 9, 2009


Haven't seen a wobbly thrown like that since we ran Elizabeth Gurley Flynn and her crew out of Spokane in '09.
posted by Abiezer at 4:13 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh Fortuna! Krrrrilson is non-responsive which means he left. Which means it is a deliberate as opposed to accidental troll. Which merits brimstone and all the rest. Also the note argues we all need hugs. Also, also, Abiezer please tell the story of running folks out of Spokane. Oh do. You like telling stories of back in the day yes?
posted by Peztopiary at 4:26 AM on July 9, 2009


Item LOVES MONKEY SPOOGE
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 4:49 AM on July 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


Just to be clear that video wasn't actually an example of gay pornography was it?

I touched myself just to be sure. A lot.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:58 AM on July 9, 2009


Regardless of who or why it was posted, it's a pretty fucking retarded post.
posted by the bricabrac man at 5:08 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well of course. At which point time invested kicks in. Dude can make three maybe four posts in a day before he faces probation.
posted by Peztopiary at 5:24 AM on July 9, 2009


well, the link in the thread no longer works - no monkey spooge for you

Aw damn.
posted by nola at 5:25 AM on July 9, 2009


Chief Sullivan, God rest him kept us too busy with the firehoses and billy-clubs, Peztopiary, so I never did find the time to keep a journal.
posted by Abiezer at 5:28 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Aw damn

It's out there, I'm sure. Just google "monkey eat cum" and dig through the horse felching results.

cuz that's the point at which i stopped...
posted by mediareport at 5:33 AM on July 9, 2009


*takes piss*
*throws wobbly*
*pigeonholes self*
???
*basks in afterglow*
posted by Floydd at 5:39 AM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Awww!

It's so cute when you're purposefully obtuse like this Blazecock!
posted by kbanas at 5:43 AM on July 9, 2009


Dumb post. But not offensive. I'm in dnab's camp on this, doing the wobbly (I haven't had any coffee yet).
posted by rtha at 5:47 AM on July 9, 2009


See I was hoping you meant 2009. Really though? It didn't involve explosions of governors so not impressed. New stories. After all, history begs us to repeat it. That's why it does it's damndest to make sure we don't learn. Really though territories as a whole are full of that stuff. It isn't until we've settled down into statehood that it becomes an issue.
posted by Peztopiary at 5:55 AM on July 9, 2009


I don't know, dnab. Should we make a huge deal out of this? Probably not. On the other hand, should that post be there as-is? Probably not. It definitely rubbed me the wrong way, but just because I'm mildly irritated instead of keening with rage doesn't mean it 's all good.
posted by hermitosis at 6:17 AM on July 9, 2009


As someone else who would be really angry if it was truly homophobic, I, too, think it's obviously meant to insult people who think gay marriage would lead to that sort of thing, rather than insult gays.

And that is a different issue than whether the post sucks or not (it does).
posted by Nattie at 6:18 AM on July 9, 2009


I wish at least that someone would remove the "gaymarriage" tag from the post. The idea of that thread coming up in an actual search for gay marriage is pretty disheartening.
posted by hermitosis at 6:22 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I would pay good money to see what my USER SCARLET LETTERS were. That'd be a hoot.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:22 AM on July 9, 2009


Yeah, the tag is ridiculous noise. Mods, can you please remove it?
posted by mediareport at 6:28 AM on July 9, 2009


Also, mods, could you change to wording of the actual post so that it refers to monkeys and spooge? That way searches for spooge-eating monkeys won't indirectly lead to a thread about gay marriage.
posted by hermitosis at 6:32 AM on July 9, 2009


I'm no SEO expert, but I hope someday someone is going to search for, "Ooh ooh, do me!", make their way to this thread, be disappointed, BUT follow through to the other thread and find what they are looking for?

Because they are looking for monkey on cat pornography.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:38 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I just wanted to say thank you for teaching me "throwing a wobbly." I love it so much.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:40 AM on July 9, 2009


I think that its obvious that the video is just a glimpse into the future of what will become commonplace once the homosexuals have completed their nefarious plot to undermine the family values that real Americans have worked so hard to nurture and protect.*

Oh wait, it's just a video of a monkey and a kitten in an attempt at satire.

Satirists will be the first to go up against the wall when the revolution comes.

* - Just kidding. Although I sure do hear a lot of people talk like that here in Bibleland. Silly conservatives and their small, closed minds...

Also, we call it throwing a wobbler.

posted by double block and bleed at 6:49 AM on July 9, 2009


I agree with dnab - I do find him shrill.

Kidding, of course! There isn't anything wrong with this post aside from the misuse of the gaymarriage tag. Though it would be nice if either the cat or the monkey had been famous and died recently.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:00 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I understand dnab's point. And I suspect that BP is probably quick on the trigger when Krrrlson is in "usual form". And I think it's probably dickish to ever equate bestiality with homosexuality, even while taking the piss.

Regardless, the post is weak and lazily made, with redeeming qualities asymptotic to zero. It is a textbook case of trolling, and the comments it has engendered are mostly offensive and throwaway. That's why I flagged it.
posted by pineapple at 7:00 AM on July 9, 2009


I like when dnab tops! Oooooo!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 7:04 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


It's out there, I'm sure. Just google "monkey eat cum" and dig through the horse felching results.

cuz that's the point at which i stopped...


Man why stop there when you've hit pay dirt?
posted by nola at 7:12 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Well, that's it. I think we're finished here.

Anyhow, I've gotten what I came to Metafilter for, and I imagine all of you have as well, so…?

I think the last one out the door should throw away all the tissues and turn out the light.
posted by koeselitz at 7:20 AM on July 9, 2009


Now if only Krrlson (okay, maybe qonsar too) would comment lucidly and sanely, then we could have this thread perpetually represent the fact that even our most extreme posters/commenters have fuzzy wuzzy cuddly inner selves.
posted by kalessin at 7:20 AM on July 9, 2009


Well, except for BP. But I'm not asking for miracles here.
posted by kalessin at 7:21 AM on July 9, 2009


shakespeherian NO ONE KNOWS WHO THIS USER IS NOR DO THEY CARE
posted by shakespeherian at 7:25 AM on July 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


It's a dumb post, and it's gone now. BP, I think you're boxing at shadows here, or at least mad at Krrrlson for the wrong reason, but I'll grant that given how many time you two have gone at it it's hard to believe that Krrrlson didn't have that in mind somehow when he made the post, so I sympathize, I guess, in a jesus-christ-i'm-tired-of-you-two-reacting-to-each-other sort of way.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:26 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is probably as good of a place as any to mention that I have 6 months of sobriety today. Somebody sidebar me, dammit.
posted by item at 7:29 AM on July 9, 2009 [19 favorites]


I can't believe we've got this far in and no one has asked about the respective sexes of the monkey and the cat.
posted by ob at 7:34 AM on July 9, 2009


Did he actually throw a wobbly, or merely crack the sads?
posted by flabdablet at 7:37 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


ob, I almost did, but I was afraid dnab would fly off the handle.
posted by desjardins at 7:39 AM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Man, if I were a pettier man, I would go on and on about dumb posts. But I'm just a pettyish man, so I will just make a whiny comment on MeTa and leave it at that.

FREE CAT AND MONKEY! FREE CAT AND MONKEY!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:41 AM on July 9, 2009


This is probably as good of a place as any to mention that...

On the 4th, I ordered a plate of shashimi by mistake (I meant to get sushi) but I was a good sport and ate the small, whole octopus they put on my plate.
posted by cowbellemoo at 7:41 AM on July 9, 2009


Oh wow that was a bad post but hey that monkey had a real hard-on for that cat. A real one.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:42 AM on July 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


This is probably as good of a place as any to mention that I have 6 months of sobriety today. Somebody sidebar me, dammit.

More power to you, but how do you read metafilter sober?
posted by nola at 7:48 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


More power to you, but how do you read metafilter sober?

Well, there's fewer double posts, for one thing.
posted by cortex (staff) at 7:56 AM on July 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


jessamyn: Oh wow that was a bad post but hey that monkey had a real hard-on for that cat. A real one.

I would postulate that the monkey is motivated by some paraphilia, specifically automonkeykittyphilia.
posted by koeselitz at 8:05 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


When determining whether to click something I just scan the thread for "even *I* won't click this" comments. Then when I think oh, but that's user X and they're a total prude, I'll click it anyway. However, if I think wow, that's user Y, they have got the filthiest cesspool of a corrupted gory soul that I know, I think: this must be good, I'll click it anyway.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 8:10 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


and the worst part is the way the monkey's eyes keep looking up at the observers in that cold monkey way all through his groping of the poor cat, like he's saying to everybody ‘yeah, I'm molesting this kitten here—anybody got a problem with that?’
posted by koeselitz at 8:13 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, but that cat was totally asking for it. I mean, just look at its slutty outfit.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:18 AM on July 9, 2009


Evil Cat-Groping Simian.

(I'm having that as a band name)
posted by ob at 8:35 AM on July 9, 2009


You're in the sidebar of my heart, Item!

6 months!?!? Wow, time flies! Such a good egg this one.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 8:43 AM on July 9, 2009


Enough with the fucking furries already.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 8:52 AM on July 9, 2009


Yep, you got me. I was trying to insidiously equate gay marriage to a monkey playing tonsil hockey with a cat. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for that meddling drama queen.

I'm glad it's gotten to the point that Blazecock Pileon has to be the only one actually complaining for the admins to start kowtowing. Time to rename the site?
posted by Krrrlson at 8:53 AM on July 9, 2009


That post sucked ass. Please stop trying to make this anything more than a shitty post getting delete. Fucking drama queen.
posted by dead cousin ted at 8:56 AM on July 9, 2009


Krrrlson said: "I'm glad it's gotten to the point that Blazecock Pileon has to be the only one actually complaining for the admins to start kowtowing. Time to rename the site?"

It's funny... I was ready to question your reading comprehension skills, but then I realized that you just confirmed that the complete point of your existence here lately is to poke a stick at Blazecock Pileon. Therefore, you don't have to read what the rest of us say, because it doesn't matter. You're on your mission, and the mission is what matters.

But in case you're still paying attention, since this comment mentioned both your user name and Blazecock's:

Your post sucked. It was SLYT, not a funny or special one, that purposely pushed political hot buttons, and launched a whole bunch of rape cracks. Nothing about your post made it a good FPP.

So when you're done with that cross, if you could just climb down, that would be great. Edgar Martins needs the wood.
posted by pineapple at 9:00 AM on July 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


Krrrlson: I'm glad it's gotten to the point that Blazecock Pileon has to be the only one actually complaining for the admins to start kowtowing. Time to rename the site?

Are you fuckin' blind? The reason for deletion was "Man, all else aside this is a pretty dumb post."

"The poster is drawing with a long bow to make it work, and that's why it doesn't work really. The link isn't particuarly strong either. Frankly it's lasted longer on the front page than I thought it would."

"i thought it was a bullshit way of presenting it too and said so"

"Shitty post is shitty."

"Regardless of who or why it was posted, it's a pretty fucking retarded post."

"Dumb post. But not offensive"

"And that is a different issue than whether the post sucks or not (it does)."

"Regardless, the post is weak and lazily made, with redeeming qualities asymptotic to zero. It is a textbook case of trolling, and the comments it has engendered are mostly offensive and throwaway. That's why I flagged it."
posted by gman at 9:09 AM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


When's the cage match?
posted by desjardins at 9:10 AM on July 9, 2009


Krrrlson puts the 'lame' in 'flame-out'.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:15 AM on July 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


That post was mind-bogglingly stupid and stunty.
posted by CKmtl at 9:28 AM on July 9, 2009


I'm glad it's gotten to the point that Blazecock Pileon has to be the only one actually complaining for the admins to start kowtowing. Time to rename the site?

The post had seventeen flags on it. People thought it was shit. You almost certainly knew people would think it was shit when you posted it. I think BP's callout about it was off the mark, and it only lived long enough for anyone to call it out because I didn't see it before I went to bed.

I was trying awfully hard to give you the benefit of the doubt, running with the charitable interpretation that you were feeling silly and IRC flowed over onto the site again and thus you made a stupid post, end of story—but this obsession with BP is silly, tired bullshit that you can't seem to let go of. We've talked to you about this kind of shit too many times already, you don't seem to give a goddam about that, and I'm done listening to you needle us yet again over your own bizarro headcase obsessions with other users. Vaya con dios.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:28 AM on July 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


Vaya con dios.

/me posts MeTa thread complaining about the overtly religious tone of MetaFilter
posted by DU at 9:32 AM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


monkey eating its own spooge

Let this page be forever the first result when someone desires to find out about a monkey eating its own spooge.

Also, there's a variant spelling spelled as 'splooge'.

Monkey nuking its own spooge from orbit? Innnnnteresting
posted by WalterMitty at 9:39 AM on July 9, 2009


Edgar Martins needs the wood.

Code?
posted by WalterMitty at 9:43 AM on July 9, 2009


doing the wobbly

This should either be the name of a kind of dance-style or a very kinky sex act. Either way, I feel that a lot of spinning should be involved at some point.
posted by quin at 9:52 AM on July 9, 2009


WalterMitty: see here. Short version: Edgar Martins is a photographer who lied to the NYT and got caught at it by unixrat aka ICallBullshitGuy.
posted by rtha at 10:10 AM on July 9, 2009


This should either be the name of a kind of dance-style or a very kinky sex act.

Thread Merge! Let's get on this, people!

I, for one, would like to be doing the wobbly by this weekend at the latest.

Oh, and, Navelgazer: NO CONSISTENT PERSONALITY TRAITS ASIDE FROM VERBOSITY. STRONGLY SUSPECTED TO BE A SHARED ACCOUNT.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:11 AM on July 9, 2009


"Vaya con dios."

Why does every MeTa have to be about dios?
posted by klangklangston at 10:14 AM on July 9, 2009 [9 favorites]


wow, you banned krrrlson, huh?

long time coming, but what an odd way to go. after all the shit he's done, this might be his mildest offense.

in other news: how was mr crash davis able to accomplish this? I thought inline images were impossible.
posted by shmegegge at 10:15 AM on July 9, 2009


"This should either be the name of a kind of dance-style or a very kinky sex act. Either way, I feel that a lot of spinning should be involved at some point."

Sexual union singing the Internationale.
posted by klangklangston at 10:15 AM on July 9, 2009


reference to photographs of a man having sexual relations a ready-to-cook chicken
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:16 AM on July 9, 2009


*with* requisite typo
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 10:18 AM on July 9, 2009


I thought inline images were impossible.

they didn't used to be.
posted by desjardins at 10:18 AM on July 9, 2009


after all the shit he's done, this might be his mildest offense.

Waiting for the One More Sufficiently Big Thing to come along was getting to be an exercise in coddling not-quite-sufficiently-awful behavior from a guy who wasn't making the least effort to improve. It gets old. That's pretty much how sixcolors went, too. Doesn't improve my day any, but enough's enough.

in other news: how was mr crash davis able to accomplish this? I thought inline images were impossible.

He bought a time machine and traveled back to 2006 when his username was shorter.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:21 AM on July 9, 2009


We need a metatalk post for every obviously-going-to-be-deleted post.
posted by Artw at 10:22 AM on July 9, 2009


yeah, just realized how old that spooge thread was. god damn it I am dumb sometimes.
posted by shmegegge at 10:26 AM on July 9, 2009


Huh, an inline image of mine that's still hosted somewhere. Now that is peculiar.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 10:26 AM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Waiting for the One More Sufficiently Big Thing to come along was getting to be an exercise in coddling not-quite-sufficiently-awful behavior from a guy who wasn't making the least effort to improve.

makes sense.

so anyway, how about that sports game last night, huh? sure was exhilarating.
posted by shmegegge at 10:27 AM on July 9, 2009


I can flick a bottle cap 30 feet.
posted by nola at 10:29 AM on July 9, 2009


Hey, who spread axle grease all over this slope? Someone could get seriously hurt here.
posted by Spatch at 10:30 AM on July 9, 2009


> so anyway, how about that sports game last night, huh? sure was exhilarating.

Stop trashing the Mets, goddammit. I get enough of that from myself.
posted by languagehat at 10:34 AM on July 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


rtha said: "WalterMitty: see here. Short version: Edgar Martins is a photographer who lied to the NYT and got caught at it by unixrat aka ICallBullshitGuy."

Sorry for the oblique reference. Also, Edgar Martins basically got busted by our very own unixrat because Martins did such a crappy job at cloning a bunch of raw lumber in the digital image of a house under construction. Hence, if he'd had more wood, maybe he wouldn't be crying over his career right now.
posted by pineapple at 10:34 AM on July 9, 2009


cortex: Doesn't improve my day any, but enough's enough.

Fortunately the website has just been upgraded to include the 'nuke from orbit' button in addition to favoriting and flagging. This will save cortex a lot of time.

posted by shakespeherian at 12:26 PM on July 9 [+] [☠] [!]
posted by shakespeherian at 10:37 AM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


FREE CAT AND MONKEY! FREE CAT AND MONKEY!

I'm here only for the free monkey.
posted by heyho at 10:39 AM on July 9, 2009


Stop trashing the Mets, goddammit. I get enough of that from myself the Mets..
posted by shmegegge at 10:42 AM on July 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


Come for the monkey, stay to watch him eat your hat, too.
posted by fleacircus at 10:43 AM on July 9, 2009


Not-Metafilter: That spooge thread was God.
posted by Skot at 11:00 AM on July 9, 2009


shmegegge - I liked the part where they scored all the points. Our team is number one in points!
posted by EatTheWeak at 11:10 AM on July 9, 2009 [5 favorites]


throwing a wobbly!

"It's the angle of the dangle, throb of the knob and away we go..."
posted by ericb at 11:31 AM on July 9, 2009


It's a good day when I can learn a useful new phrase (I'm guessing from my googling that "throwing a wobbly" is akin to "pitching a fit" or "pitching a hissy") AND give my daughter a video response to her 13003rd request in the last week for a monkey ("Think of teh kitteh!").
posted by notashroom at 12:17 PM on July 9, 2009


I love the sound of "throwing a wobbly" and have added it to my personal lexicon.

I think there's another term that needs coining, though. A term to describe the sort of FPP which triggered this MeTa. That is, a term to describe an incredibly weak post which surfaces at night while the mods are likely sleeping and is probably doomed come morning. Seems like this happens often enough to warrant an efficient descriptor.

Since I work weird hours and do most of my Mefing late at night and early in the day, I've been encountering more of these than I used to, but I haven't come up with a satisfactory term for them. So, if no one objects, I'd like to submit this for discussion and brainstorming. I would think that the community which gave us "bean-plating" and "LOLXIANS" could produce something clever and pithy. Is languagehat awake yet?

I'm gonna go have some lunch and think on it some more as well ...

3, 2, 1 ... COIN!
posted by EatTheWeak at 12:47 PM on July 9, 2009


Every once in a while, when I see the name "Blazecock Pileon," I read it as "Blazecock Pylon" and imagine one of those bright orange road construction cones, only with a fire-shooting dildo on top.

Oh come on, like you've never thought of that?
posted by Afroblanco at 1:04 PM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Oh come on, like you've never thought of that?
posted by Afroblanco


No, I haven't. In fact I can't even picture it. Too bad there's not some computer trickery where some creative Mefite could take a picture of a pylon, a dildo, some flames and moosh it all together in one photo...
posted by marxchivist at 1:53 PM on July 9, 2009


I just wanted to say thank you for teaching me "throwing a wobbly." I love it so much.

THIS IS JUST TO SAY

I would like to
thank you
for the new
awesome phrase

and which
you were probably
hoping
to use here for a long time

Thank you
it is wonderful
so evocative
and so apt

FTFY. ;)


I like when dnab tops! Oooooo!


That's what he said.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 1:56 PM on July 9, 2009 [3 favorites]


EatTheWeek: I've always just thought of those as "Sleeper Posts" in my head, but in order to also include craziness like the Marquee Tag and just all manner of things going quickly out of hand when the Matt, Jess and cortex are asleep, I heartily recommend the term "slumber parties."
posted by Navelgazer at 2:07 PM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Dead Post Walking?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:20 PM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Iffin I hadn't already enspousened you, DNAB, I would right now. So hard!

And Item - Hoppy Burfday, you big lug! Six months is awesome!
posted by deborah at 2:59 PM on July 9, 2009


Gonna post this to metafilter... How's your butt? Clenched? Oh yeah! Then i don't think you are ready for metafilter. You need to have a really big O open ass for metafilter. Even better if you got some long hair dangerous hippy types trying to surf that O.
posted by Elmore at 3:11 PM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'm going to marry all the gay guys in this thread.

Lesbians too, but you're going to need to raise your hands.
posted by desjardins at 3:16 PM on July 9, 2009


OK, I'm not going to marry BP. He's kinda... yeah.
posted by desjardins at 3:17 PM on July 9, 2009


I'd marry BP, and I'm straight (and a real hit in the locker room -- ooh yeah!)
posted by Elmore at 3:26 PM on July 9, 2009


OK, I'm not going to marry BP. He's kinda... yeah.

Too late.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:29 PM on July 9, 2009


How am I going to work out being married to both you and dnab? I guess you can never be in the same room at the same time?
posted by desjardins at 3:50 PM on July 9, 2009


huh? I don't have any antipathy towards BP, I just think he was acting like a complete tool.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:52 PM on July 9, 2009


To properly diagram the Blazecock Pileon, you must track it's history, back to this thread about a blog on how to be a better boyfriend, which resulted in an anonymous comment on said blog. Apparently blaze cock is not a common English phrase, which probably lead to its adoption into internet slang, which brings us full circle to the "handle" in question.
posted by filthy light thief at 4:00 PM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Doesn't improve my day any

liar liar no pants on fire
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:06 PM on July 9, 2009


huh? I don't have any antipathy towards BP, I just think he was acting like a complete tool.

Oh. Threesome it is, then.
posted by desjardins at 4:21 PM on July 9, 2009


I just think he was acting like a complete tool.

*sigh*

We simply disagree about how offensive the YT post was, and there were others who agreed with me or expressed their own dislike of the YT post independently. So, respectfully, now that you have got my attention, how about you stop calling me names?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:23 PM on July 9, 2009


complete tool
Let's not have the circumcision argument as well.
posted by Abiezer at 4:25 PM on July 9, 2009 [2 favorites]


Just popping in to throw a wobbly over Biological Exuberance again; it's an amazing book and everyone with even the slightest interest in flaming dildos on highway safety devices should check it out.
posted by mediareport at 4:28 PM on July 9, 2009


Yes, but why, pound for pound, does a monkey have 10x the muscle strength of a human, as sexyrobot claims? What makes one species' muscle more efficient than another's?
posted by small_ruminant at 4:40 PM on July 9, 2009


Apparently it's leverage and where the muscles attach to bones, etc.
posted by GuyZero at 4:49 PM on July 9, 2009


I feel cheated. Am I not a primate?!
posted by small_ruminant at 4:50 PM on July 9, 2009


no, you're not.
posted by desjardins at 4:58 PM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


Does Pynchon or somebody else get credit for popularizing the 'wobble'?
posted by jamjam at 4:58 PM on July 9, 2009


"wobble" goes back to the seventeenth century, though it looks like "throw a wobbly" is pretty recent—oldest cites in OED are '77 and '78.
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:02 PM on July 9, 2009


Every once in a while, when I see the name "Blazecock Pileon," I read it as "Blazecock Pylon" and imagine one of those bright orange road construction cones, only with a fire-shooting dildo on top.

Oh come on, like you've never thought of that?


I don't quite know why I'm admitting this, but actually, yes, I do sometimes read "Blazecock Pileon" like that.
posted by desuetude at 5:17 PM on July 9, 2009


Pfft, like there's any other way to read "Blazecock Pileon".
posted by Phire at 5:48 PM on July 9, 2009


Iffin I hadn't already enspousened you, DNAB, I would right now. So hard!

Until I saw this abbreviation, I saw it as Dirty Dumb Bagel Boy.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 5:59 PM on July 9, 2009 [4 favorites]


Sooo... The possibility exists that the OP of the blaze cock comment actually meant blase.
posted by Liver at 6:51 PM on July 9, 2009


Oh thank heaven. For ages and ages, I thought it was dirtynumbbagelboy. And that a Pileon was some kind of bird (perhaps a type of ornamental chicken?).

It feels good to have company.
posted by hippugeek at 8:17 PM on July 9, 2009


I think it took me a year to realize he wasn't dirtynumbbagelboy. There could be a sockpuppet with that handle and it might slip right by me.

Blazecock I always pictured as like one of those massive football pile-ons, but with exposed, inflamed genitalia, perhaps with herpes. Not something you'd want to be on the receiving end of, as a general rule.
posted by notashroom at 9:03 PM on July 9, 2009


Edgar Martins basically got busted by our very own unixrat because Martins did such a crappy job at cloning a bunch of raw lumber in the digital image of a house under construction

Huhn, I had read that as Edgar Bergen.

While what you actually said was clever and far less out of left field, I would prefer to live in a world where random ventriloquist references are used as zingers.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:16 PM on July 9, 2009


nthing bagel boy.
posted by lazaruslong at 9:32 PM on July 9, 2009


For ages and ages, I thought it was dirtynumbbagelboy.

This almost comes up often enough to go into the FAQ.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:16 PM on July 9, 2009 [1 favorite]


well said, dirtydumbbageltoy
posted by phaedon at 11:02 PM on July 9, 2009


Previously, and again, and so forth. Poor, poor dittyhumcradleofjoy.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 1:18 AM on July 10, 2009


Oh. I was out of town last weekend and missed all that.
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 4:57 AM on July 10, 2009


This is why I'm glad I picked a name where the worst misspelling is usually "desjardin."
posted by desjardins at 5:36 AM on July 10, 2009


I get "EatTheWeek" a lot, which always gives me a laugh. Has a meaning quite a bit more metaphysical than the name I actually chose.
posted by EatTheWeak at 7:19 AM on July 10, 2009


While what you actually said was clever and far less out of left field, I would prefer to live in a world where random ventriloquist references are used as zingers.

Willie Tyler? I didn't know he even knew 'er.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:21 AM on July 10, 2009


Until I saw this abbreviation, I saw it as Dirty Dumb Bagel Boy.

I'm happy to have been of service. *curtsies*
posted by deborah at 9:30 AM on July 10, 2009


But that abbreviation runs into potential problems of dnab vs. danb.
posted by SpiffyRob at 9:47 AM on July 10, 2009


I get shakespearian a lot. Or rather, I would except that
posted by shakespeherian at 10:03 AM on July 10, 2009


Whereas the rest of us just get "O, O, O, O that Shakespeherian rag" on an endless headloop everytime your nick shows up.
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:17 AM on July 10, 2009


More KKKrrrlson, amirite?

No, seriously, am I right? I hardly know this krrrlson guy.
posted by slogger at 10:47 AM on July 10, 2009


FelliniBlank: Whereas the rest of us just get "O, O, O, O that Shakespeherian rag" on an endless headloop everytime your nick shows up.

Ah, my ridiculously circuitous plan is one-quarter complete!
posted by shakespeherian at 2:06 PM on July 10, 2009


You need to have a really big O open ass for metafilter. Even better if you got some long hair dangerous hippy types trying to surf that O.

Elmore, are you making a pass at me?

posted by hippybear at 1:17 PM on July 11, 2009


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