When a comment leaves the site and enters your BRAIN! November 21, 2010 11:23 PM Subscribe
Comments that stay in your mind and pop out unbidden at the strangest of times.
I only ask because of this comment by kiltedtaco that has made me laugh out loud at least a dozen times since it was first posted. Some examples include:
-when wheeling my bike out the door
-during an important talk at work
-walking by myself
-multiple times during conversation where the other person thought that I was laughing at them but I was actually laughing at the comment and then I had to cover
Which comments have done this to you? Come on, spill it, I can't be the only one!
I only ask because of this comment by kiltedtaco that has made me laugh out loud at least a dozen times since it was first posted. Some examples include:
-when wheeling my bike out the door
-during an important talk at work
-walking by myself
-multiple times during conversation where the other person thought that I was laughing at them but I was actually laughing at the comment and then I had to cover
Which comments have done this to you? Come on, spill it, I can't be the only one!
I think of The Wheel sometimes when the topic of parenting comes up.
posted by zachlipton at 11:52 PM on November 21, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by zachlipton at 11:52 PM on November 21, 2010 [8 favorites]
I can't watch House without thinking, (and then usually saying,) 'I TOO AM IN THIS EPISODE'
posted by Jofus at 11:59 PM on November 21, 2010 [16 favorites]
posted by Jofus at 11:59 PM on November 21, 2010 [16 favorites]
"Man, ain't no water and it hot" pops into my head on hot days.
posted by Xere at 12:06 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Xere at 12:06 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
I also think of "we have cameras" whenever anyone makes the "how does this make us any different from (bad thing)" argument.
And don't even get me started on plates of grain legumes.
posted by zachlipton at 12:08 AM on November 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
And don't even get me started on plates of grain legumes.
posted by zachlipton at 12:08 AM on November 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
I can't type with my fists clenched.
posted to MetaFilter by Opus Dark at 2:43 AM on July 21, 2001 [+] check it baby.
posted by clavdivs at 12:37 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted to MetaFilter by Opus Dark at 2:43 AM on July 21, 2001 [+] check it baby.
posted by clavdivs at 12:37 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think about this comment whenever I hear someone say "for the record". I hadn't noticed the correlation until the comment made me think about it, but, without fail, the person is irritating.
posted by mxc at 12:48 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by mxc at 12:48 AM on November 22, 2010
Whenever anyone mentions Žižek, stammer's genius comment always brings me a smile.
posted by nfg at 12:54 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by nfg at 12:54 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
I can't type with my fists clenched.
posted to MetaFilter by Opus Dark at 2:43 AM on July 21, 2001 [+] check it baby.
yeah. And I think about "The Wheel" all, all, too often.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:06 AM on November 22, 2010
posted to MetaFilter by Opus Dark at 2:43 AM on July 21, 2001 [+] check it baby.
yeah. And I think about "The Wheel" all, all, too often.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:06 AM on November 22, 2010
The last four lines of Astro Zombie's ode to the hipster hooker run through my head when I think about hipsters, or hookers.
Whenever I read about the Tea Party, I think of this comment.
EatTheWeak's treatise on why modern western civilization is the shit has its own little section in my brain and pops out once a month or so.
Also: I'VE GOT THE STRANGEST FEELING FAZE BETTER STOP TALKING SMACK ABOUT JACK KIRBY. Completely unbidden, runs around my brain for about an hour straight, on a fairly regular basis, so much that every time I see "posted by Faze" on the site, a little voice in the back of my head appends, "BETTER STOP TALKING SMACK ABOUT JACK KIRBY".
posted by maqsarian at 1:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Whenever I read about the Tea Party, I think of this comment.
EatTheWeak's treatise on why modern western civilization is the shit has its own little section in my brain and pops out once a month or so.
Also: I'VE GOT THE STRANGEST FEELING FAZE BETTER STOP TALKING SMACK ABOUT JACK KIRBY. Completely unbidden, runs around my brain for about an hour straight, on a fairly regular basis, so much that every time I see "posted by Faze" on the site, a little voice in the back of my head appends, "BETTER STOP TALKING SMACK ABOUT JACK KIRBY".
posted by maqsarian at 1:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Stairs are cool, man! And, from the same thread, about an innovative design for an office building.
Also, from my top #5 MeFi comments of all time: "...and then everybody burst out laughing."
And lastly, as I go about my days, trying to be a better person in this crazy world, I tell myself, "with humility and charity, you jackass."
posted by iamkimiam at 1:26 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Also, from my top #5 MeFi comments of all time: "...and then everybody burst out laughing."
And lastly, as I go about my days, trying to be a better person in this crazy world, I tell myself, "with humility and charity, you jackass."
posted by iamkimiam at 1:26 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
That comment of Stammer's is really great.
Yeah. That #7 "This is because of dialectics." is totally a wizard did it
posted by juv3nal at 1:33 AM on November 22, 2010
Yeah. That #7 "This is because of dialectics." is totally a wizard did it
posted by juv3nal at 1:33 AM on November 22, 2010
yeah. And I think about "The Wheel" all, all, too often.
My “Wheel” will be a computer program, likely a Palm applet for ease of portability, and I think it will truly solve all my family’s problems before they even begin. I’ve been in touch with Dr. Adler, who is retired now, and he’s working on a more modern, viable Parenting Matrix.
I'm looking forward to seeing it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:15 AM on February 13, 2007 [565 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 2:16 AM on November 22, 2010
My “Wheel” will be a computer program, likely a Palm applet for ease of portability, and I think it will truly solve all my family’s problems before they even begin. I’ve been in touch with Dr. Adler, who is retired now, and he’s working on a more modern, viable Parenting Matrix.
I'm looking forward to seeing it.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:15 AM on February 13, 2007 [565 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 2:16 AM on November 22, 2010
This makes me want to paint a wizard on a van.
posted by that girl at 2:17 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by that girl at 2:17 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
You have inspired me to page back through all my favorited comments, something I don't do nearly often enough. Here are my favorite funny comments from over the years -- everything's a quote except what's in brackets; italicized text is a quote the comment's replying to. Twenty-five comments in all:
──────
[The best comeback to a LOL FATTY joke:]
"What can I say? Your wife makes a damn good breakfast."
──────
[On a request for smaller-sized Mefi T-shirts:]
Why don't you just cry your leprechaun tears all over it and shrink it that way, Stynxno. We Very Large People (VLP) have no time for your tiny concerns.
──────
[Jessamyn's first comment in a MeTa speculating that she was in a crappy mood:]
Oh hi. I was at the Tuba Museum. Cheered my shit right up.
──────
>>"Sometimes, just sometimes, the correct and helpful answer to a question might actually be "u r gay". Not very often though."
- I have a friend who is attracted to men, and I want to help him accept himself while writing him a text message. I don't have much time. Any suggestions?
- My friend Uriah Reginald Gay is having his business cards printed this week, and he feels his full name is too ungainly to be printed on his cards. Any ideas? Oh, and his cards are the size of quarters.
- I'm working on a word puzzle, and I have to fill in the blanks to identify a South American country. Right now, it reads _ _ U_U_ _. What are the missing letters?
──────
Right *now*, in my house, stuck to various pieces of artwork, are tiny 4 mm cut out heads of my wife. That Japanese woodblock of the tsunami, that's her right there in the boat about to get drowned. The center of the Nepalese mandala, that's my wife. That beautiful cubist still life of the bouquet of flowers, wait, what's that? It's my wife. It's been three months, she hasn't noticed yet.
──────
You know, I was browsing the sci-fi section of a bookstore recently, and I made the mistake of wondering aloud whether D&D might be a fun game to play. A dude appeared out of thin air, tapped me solemnly on the shoulder, and proceeded to talk to me about D&D for nearly an hour. Will this be similar? Also, do you think that guy was maybe a ghost?
──────
My husband and I were taking the subway home from rehearsal one night when I brought up the possibility of hanging curtains upstage to create a backstage area. In theatre, curtains are called "blacks". So there I was on the subway, loudly discussing whether or not we should "hang some blacks". Took me a minute to figure out why the woman across from me was looking at me funny.
──────
Note to aspiring sci-fi writers: The best way to create a memorable opening line is to take a good opening line from general fiction and give it a sci-fi twist. Examples:
- Mother died today in the post-apocalyptic future.
- It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a robot wife.
- Call me Ishmael (in space).
──────
A mustache is a smile's eyebrow.
──────
[Responding to a comment about the "Keep Calm, Carry On" poster:]
>>"Slightly different tone, same bullshit propaganda."
they were being attacked by nazis good lord
──────
[On the Spiderman comic's Obama issue making the Drudge Report:]
Spidey's on Drudge! And, strangely, the headline is not "SPIDER-MAN MENACE."
──────
>>"[This is as futile as] hoping to unseat the New York Times with your blog by and for bisexual, freegan, basketball-fan grandmas."
Are you trying to tell me something about my blog, Free Food, Freethrows, Free Love and Free Hugs: A Journey Into Excellence, Optimus Chyme? Because I got six visitors last year alone, and only four of them were me. Watch your back, Krugman!
──────
I've never understood he stereotype of black people loving fried chicken. Of course they do. Everybody loves fried chicken. Fried chicken is fucking delicious. I haven't eaten meat in 24 years and if somebody asked me if I love fried chicken, I would say yes I do, I love fried chicken, because chickens are delicious, and frying them makes them even more delicious. It's the same thing about Jews and money. How is that an insult? Who doesn't love money? What are these stereotypes?
──────
[On the video of Obama swatting that fly:]
He was just enforcing the no-fly zone around the president.
──────
>>"She was found guilty of a crime."
No, she was found Liable for a Tort. Crime != Tort. People who commit crimes are criminals. People who commit torts are... TORTFEASORS
──────
>>"...The plan failed spectacularly with wildly escalating levels of deception and subterfuge. I think lawsuits and possible jail time are still pending, so I can't say any more about it here, but buy me a drink sometime."
OH HI I'M COLDCHEF AND I HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF SUPER-INTERESTING STORIES THAT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT SO YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT IT FOREVER.
──────
>>"the separation between shit and fuck is so large"
t'aint.
──────
I knew about Hovind, but I had no idea he attended freaking Patriot Bible University! That's amazing. Was his safety school Old Glory John 3:16 Apple Pie Community College?
[And later:]
Wikipedia delivers a photograph of Patriot Bible University's sprawling campus.
──────
For my last birthday, a couple of buddies got me a giant dildo as a joke. I delight in keeping it in the medicine cabinet and closely monitor friends' expressions as they exit the bathroom.
──────
AMERICA. ARE YOU TIRED OF PUTTING ON DIFFERENT PANTS? NOT ANYMORE.NOW YOU PUT ON ONE PAIR OF PANTS FOR LIFE. WORK, TV, SLEEP, TV ALL IN ONE SET OF PANTS. YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE OFF PANTS. PEE IN THEM??NO PROBLEM JUST SPRAY YOURSELF WITH A HOSE.POOP IN THEM??? SAME THING! IT's FINE WITH FOREVERPANTS. NEVER GO THROUGH THE BOTHER OF CHANGING AGAIN-FROM THE MAKERS OF BLENDERPIZZA THE PIZZA THAT COMES IN A BLENDER
──────
[On the post about the kid who wrote up a list of all the kinds of "bitches" at his school:]
>>"16) bitches who think their man love them but get pregnent and left alone"
Oh wow, unexpected poignancy in the list of bitches.
──────
>>"One 2003 study looked at the energy requirements of orange juice produced on a large scale in Brazil and shipped as concentrate to Europe, versus apple juice processed on a small scale in Europe."
How can that be a valid study? It's like comparing OH SHIT MY CLICHE METER JUST EXPLODED
──────
[On solving the Gulf oil spill:]
Plan A - PRETEND IT'S OK Plan B - SLURPIE STRAW Plan C - ROCKS AND MUD Plan D - BIG SAW Plan E - GIANT SCISSORS Plan F - VIEWERS' CHOICE Plan G - DOLPHINS WITH MARBLES Plan H - BAT SIGNAL Plan I -
──────
What's funny is that Americans always go on about Australians having a "thin skin", but I ask them this: how many times have you, personally, set the dingoes to wake you at 4 in the morning, and then had to punch your way out of a crocodile-infested swag just to get down to the billabong to tip all the cane toads out of your billy and brew yourself up a cuppa before 4:15, which is when it goes from -10 degrees to 55 degrees instantly, and then you make the tea and you wonder if you stole it or if it's legitimately yours, and then you rub Vegemite into your armpits to keep off the flying redbacks and then you have to trek out bush just to milk emus all day, and those fuckers kick. Then you get home and have a bath full of stonefish, blue-ringed octopus and box jellyfish, and then you dry yourself off with a towel made of the world's ten deadliest snakes, which bite the water off you, and then a kangaroo boxes you to sleep at 2am. Because I have to do that every day and what has America ever given me? Foxconn suicides and 60 years of "Oh but we won World War II" when actually it was the Russians.
──────
Once, my boyfriend woke me up because I was crying in my sleep, but I was actually dreaming about a delicious cake I was about to eat. You never know.
────────────
Here are a few more that were too long to copy-paste: Greg Nog's explanation for why some people take so long in the bathroom, robocop is bleeding describes the secret lives of his pet rabbits, churl on how to use favorites, Damn That Television discusses the art design of receipts (tears in my goddamn eyes), Jessamyn's ideal list of flags
posted by Rhaomi at 2:58 AM on November 22, 2010 [123 favorites]
──────
[The best comeback to a LOL FATTY joke:]
"What can I say? Your wife makes a damn good breakfast."
──────
[On a request for smaller-sized Mefi T-shirts:]
Why don't you just cry your leprechaun tears all over it and shrink it that way, Stynxno. We Very Large People (VLP) have no time for your tiny concerns.
──────
[Jessamyn's first comment in a MeTa speculating that she was in a crappy mood:]
Oh hi. I was at the Tuba Museum. Cheered my shit right up.
──────
>>"Sometimes, just sometimes, the correct and helpful answer to a question might actually be "u r gay". Not very often though."
- I have a friend who is attracted to men, and I want to help him accept himself while writing him a text message. I don't have much time. Any suggestions?
- My friend Uriah Reginald Gay is having his business cards printed this week, and he feels his full name is too ungainly to be printed on his cards. Any ideas? Oh, and his cards are the size of quarters.
- I'm working on a word puzzle, and I have to fill in the blanks to identify a South American country. Right now, it reads _ _ U_U_ _. What are the missing letters?
──────
Right *now*, in my house, stuck to various pieces of artwork, are tiny 4 mm cut out heads of my wife. That Japanese woodblock of the tsunami, that's her right there in the boat about to get drowned. The center of the Nepalese mandala, that's my wife. That beautiful cubist still life of the bouquet of flowers, wait, what's that? It's my wife. It's been three months, she hasn't noticed yet.
──────
You know, I was browsing the sci-fi section of a bookstore recently, and I made the mistake of wondering aloud whether D&D might be a fun game to play. A dude appeared out of thin air, tapped me solemnly on the shoulder, and proceeded to talk to me about D&D for nearly an hour. Will this be similar? Also, do you think that guy was maybe a ghost?
──────
My husband and I were taking the subway home from rehearsal one night when I brought up the possibility of hanging curtains upstage to create a backstage area. In theatre, curtains are called "blacks". So there I was on the subway, loudly discussing whether or not we should "hang some blacks". Took me a minute to figure out why the woman across from me was looking at me funny.
──────
Note to aspiring sci-fi writers: The best way to create a memorable opening line is to take a good opening line from general fiction and give it a sci-fi twist. Examples:
- Mother died today in the post-apocalyptic future.
- It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a robot wife.
- Call me Ishmael (in space).
──────
A mustache is a smile's eyebrow.
──────
[Responding to a comment about the "Keep Calm, Carry On" poster:]
>>"Slightly different tone, same bullshit propaganda."
they were being attacked by nazis good lord
──────
[On the Spiderman comic's Obama issue making the Drudge Report:]
Spidey's on Drudge! And, strangely, the headline is not "SPIDER-MAN MENACE."
──────
>>"[This is as futile as] hoping to unseat the New York Times with your blog by and for bisexual, freegan, basketball-fan grandmas."
Are you trying to tell me something about my blog, Free Food, Freethrows, Free Love and Free Hugs: A Journey Into Excellence, Optimus Chyme? Because I got six visitors last year alone, and only four of them were me. Watch your back, Krugman!
──────
I've never understood he stereotype of black people loving fried chicken. Of course they do. Everybody loves fried chicken. Fried chicken is fucking delicious. I haven't eaten meat in 24 years and if somebody asked me if I love fried chicken, I would say yes I do, I love fried chicken, because chickens are delicious, and frying them makes them even more delicious. It's the same thing about Jews and money. How is that an insult? Who doesn't love money? What are these stereotypes?
──────
[On the video of Obama swatting that fly:]
He was just enforcing the no-fly zone around the president.
──────
>>"She was found guilty of a crime."
No, she was found Liable for a Tort. Crime != Tort. People who commit crimes are criminals. People who commit torts are... TORTFEASORS
──────
>>"...The plan failed spectacularly with wildly escalating levels of deception and subterfuge. I think lawsuits and possible jail time are still pending, so I can't say any more about it here, but buy me a drink sometime."
OH HI I'M COLDCHEF AND I HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF SUPER-INTERESTING STORIES THAT I CAN'T TALK ABOUT SO YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT IT FOREVER.
──────
>>"the separation between shit and fuck is so large"
t'aint.
──────
I knew about Hovind, but I had no idea he attended freaking Patriot Bible University! That's amazing. Was his safety school Old Glory John 3:16 Apple Pie Community College?
[And later:]
Wikipedia delivers a photograph of Patriot Bible University's sprawling campus.
──────
For my last birthday, a couple of buddies got me a giant dildo as a joke. I delight in keeping it in the medicine cabinet and closely monitor friends' expressions as they exit the bathroom.
──────
AMERICA. ARE YOU TIRED OF PUTTING ON DIFFERENT PANTS? NOT ANYMORE.NOW YOU PUT ON ONE PAIR OF PANTS FOR LIFE. WORK, TV, SLEEP, TV ALL IN ONE SET OF PANTS. YOU NEVER HAVE TO TAKE OFF PANTS. PEE IN THEM??NO PROBLEM JUST SPRAY YOURSELF WITH A HOSE.POOP IN THEM??? SAME THING! IT's FINE WITH FOREVERPANTS. NEVER GO THROUGH THE BOTHER OF CHANGING AGAIN-FROM THE MAKERS OF BLENDERPIZZA THE PIZZA THAT COMES IN A BLENDER
──────
[On the post about the kid who wrote up a list of all the kinds of "bitches" at his school:]
>>"16) bitches who think their man love them but get pregnent and left alone"
Oh wow, unexpected poignancy in the list of bitches.
──────
>>"One 2003 study looked at the energy requirements of orange juice produced on a large scale in Brazil and shipped as concentrate to Europe, versus apple juice processed on a small scale in Europe."
How can that be a valid study? It's like comparing OH SHIT MY CLICHE METER JUST EXPLODED
──────
[On solving the Gulf oil spill:]
Plan A - PRETEND IT'S OK Plan B - SLURPIE STRAW Plan C - ROCKS AND MUD Plan D - BIG SAW Plan E - GIANT SCISSORS Plan F - VIEWERS' CHOICE Plan G - DOLPHINS WITH MARBLES Plan H - BAT SIGNAL Plan I -
──────
What's funny is that Americans always go on about Australians having a "thin skin", but I ask them this: how many times have you, personally, set the dingoes to wake you at 4 in the morning, and then had to punch your way out of a crocodile-infested swag just to get down to the billabong to tip all the cane toads out of your billy and brew yourself up a cuppa before 4:15, which is when it goes from -10 degrees to 55 degrees instantly, and then you make the tea and you wonder if you stole it or if it's legitimately yours, and then you rub Vegemite into your armpits to keep off the flying redbacks and then you have to trek out bush just to milk emus all day, and those fuckers kick. Then you get home and have a bath full of stonefish, blue-ringed octopus and box jellyfish, and then you dry yourself off with a towel made of the world's ten deadliest snakes, which bite the water off you, and then a kangaroo boxes you to sleep at 2am. Because I have to do that every day and what has America ever given me? Foxconn suicides and 60 years of "Oh but we won World War II" when actually it was the Russians.
──────
Once, my boyfriend woke me up because I was crying in my sleep, but I was actually dreaming about a delicious cake I was about to eat. You never know.
────────────
Here are a few more that were too long to copy-paste: Greg Nog's explanation for why some people take so long in the bathroom, robocop is bleeding describes the secret lives of his pet rabbits, churl on how to use favorites, Damn That Television discusses the art design of receipts (tears in my goddamn eyes), Jessamyn's ideal list of flags
posted by Rhaomi at 2:58 AM on November 22, 2010 [123 favorites]
For me, it's the new concepts, not the funny ones, that I remember. For instance, "you're in what engineers call an over bounded problem..."
I do from time to time remember this comment: "well tommorow is your lucky day, punk ass piece of shit, i'll be at the Shaws supermarket in Manchester CT, 8:30am, buying soda with fr0zens money..."
posted by salvia at 3:43 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
I do from time to time remember this comment: "well tommorow is your lucky day, punk ass piece of shit, i'll be at the Shaws supermarket in Manchester CT, 8:30am, buying soda with fr0zens money..."
posted by salvia at 3:43 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
This comment from a long and contentious thread makes me cackle aloud at highly inconvenient times due to the awesome imagery.
posted by elizardbits at 3:43 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by elizardbits at 3:43 AM on November 22, 2010
This comment in a predictably shouty thread about women and their bodies is still one of the funniest things I've seen on MeFi.
posted by TrialByMedia at 3:51 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by TrialByMedia at 3:51 AM on November 22, 2010
I was in a very low mood when I was reading the site once -- it was about three days after a MAJOR and unexpected breakup -- and then I saw dirtynumbangelboy react to something by saying "Holy fucking dickbeans". And it was the first belly laugh I'd had since the breakup, and I still think of it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:10 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:10 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
I don't have the link handy, but it's a story about how as a boy scout, the poster learned never to pee in a fire. I giggle just thinking about it.
posted by FunkyHelix at 4:17 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by FunkyHelix at 4:17 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I still think of plo chops whenever we have, uh, pork chops for dinner. And Greg Nog's "what flower must Morbo find and kill and bring to her to make human female's eyes stop leaking" is my makes you laugh at inconvenient times thing.
posted by ifjuly at 4:41 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by ifjuly at 4:41 AM on November 22, 2010
The comments that have stayed in my memory are a series, the thread that was made either in late 2006 or early 2007 about complete short stories in 6 words and I remember going back and forth in that for the longest time. It was my first experience of the repartee offered by the blue.
posted by The Lady is a designer at 4:42 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by The Lady is a designer at 4:42 AM on November 22, 2010
Elizardbits' comment on tiny cannons has become a meme in my house. GIVE TO ME THE [ADJECTIVE] [NOUN]! *FLAIL WILDLY*
"Greg, I'm pretty sure that's just a penis in a hat". For when something highly anticipated isn't as exciting as expected.
"Hadn't you heard? There's a new serif in town." For changing the fonts in my CSS.
posted by specialagentwebb at 4:52 AM on November 22, 2010
"Greg, I'm pretty sure that's just a penis in a hat". For when something highly anticipated isn't as exciting as expected.
"Hadn't you heard? There's a new serif in town." For changing the fonts in my CSS.
posted by specialagentwebb at 4:52 AM on November 22, 2010
Todd Lokken.
posted by hot soup girl at 5:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by hot soup girl at 5:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [6 favorites]
I like the sexy sex as if it were my occupation!
posted by sonika at 5:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [13 favorites]
posted by sonika at 5:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [13 favorites]
For me, it's the new concepts, not the funny ones, that I remember.
Me too. Examples:
dating rules
"please"
the extravert
why promiscuity
finding your passion
giving up on your passion
sex in the active voice
pink
don't fake being interested
conversation topics to avoid
what not to ask a lawyer
firsthand look at the world of a teenager
eating alone
how shy people are seen
ask culture vs. guess culture
living in the present
the meaning of success
why men should be glad women don't respond on dating sites
chaotic organizations
meat-eaters worry too much about vegetarians
"we evolved to eat meat"
"you are not your Wikipedia entry"
"the truth cannot be offensive"
settling
unpopular charities
posted by John Cohen at 5:34 AM on November 22, 2010 [33 favorites]
Me too. Examples:
dating rules
"please"
the extravert
why promiscuity
finding your passion
giving up on your passion
sex in the active voice
pink
don't fake being interested
conversation topics to avoid
what not to ask a lawyer
firsthand look at the world of a teenager
eating alone
how shy people are seen
ask culture vs. guess culture
living in the present
the meaning of success
why men should be glad women don't respond on dating sites
chaotic organizations
meat-eaters worry too much about vegetarians
"we evolved to eat meat"
"you are not your Wikipedia entry"
"the truth cannot be offensive"
settling
unpopular charities
posted by John Cohen at 5:34 AM on November 22, 2010 [33 favorites]
HOLY FUCKING UNICORN SHIT I'M FUCKING SHITTING RAINBOWS AND SMURFS OVER HERE JESUS
If Catherine Zeta-Jones were to walk up at this moment, take off her clothes, and say to me "take me, I am entirely yours," I would look at her and say "I'm sorry, but I'll have to call you back after the AWESOME
Not compared to eating with someone who makes you cry.
posted by namewithoutwords at 5:46 AM on November 22, 2010
If Catherine Zeta-Jones were to walk up at this moment, take off her clothes, and say to me "take me, I am entirely yours," I would look at her and say "I'm sorry, but I'll have to call you back after the AWESOME
Not compared to eating with someone who makes you cry.
posted by namewithoutwords at 5:46 AM on November 22, 2010
Oooooh, I have a ton of crack-me-up favorites, many of which date back to the Time Before Favorites!
oooooh, Canada is going to come after me! oh nooooo, Canada is mad at me! I'm scaaaaarrrreed of big mean ol' Canada! You know what they do to law breakers up north! I might get a polite letter requesting removal of the post!
Should I say "Enhance!" out-loud to my computer and everything'll become clear?
davy, untwist your "live free or die" undies.
I don't think Madonna is going to care if quonsar wants to dress you up in his love, all over, all over...
By the way, this is a nice little community you got here. Shame if something were to happen to it.
I've actually thought about having a big banquet for her next birthday and not inviting her until after the dinner is over.
You always get to be the pale horse! MOOOOOM!
In the frozen land of MeTa, they were forced to eat quonsar's pantsfish.
You suck and your post sucks and I hate you over the internet.
"So, I had a twin..in my brain!" "Cool!" "But my brain ate it!" "Sad!"
I think you've put the czar before the hordes here.
I love Chinatown. Especially the fish stands with the fish still trying to breathe. It's like a great big aquatic snuff film.
I hate all music. I even hate birds. Sellout tweet tweet tweet bullshit by horny hollow boned wankers just looking to score.
This is starting to sound like weird Metafilter fanfic.
Sometimes I wish I lived in orthogonality's universe, where every message board host on the web was Rosa Parks fighting the Nazis.
I assure you I am not in need of a lesson in Black wang pigmentation. Thanks, though.
I absolutely refuse to believe that you note with astonishment each and every person you see wearing pants
The entire, short-lived Kudos Thread.
And, probably my all-time favorite in terms of cracking me up for no good reason:
it allows people like matthewchen to stick around with his retarded, unintelligible moonman comments despite the fact that he deliberately self-linked.
Hee hee. Moonman.
posted by Gator at 6:11 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
oooooh, Canada is going to come after me! oh nooooo, Canada is mad at me! I'm scaaaaarrrreed of big mean ol' Canada! You know what they do to law breakers up north! I might get a polite letter requesting removal of the post!
Should I say "Enhance!" out-loud to my computer and everything'll become clear?
davy, untwist your "live free or die" undies.
I don't think Madonna is going to care if quonsar wants to dress you up in his love, all over, all over...
By the way, this is a nice little community you got here. Shame if something were to happen to it.
I've actually thought about having a big banquet for her next birthday and not inviting her until after the dinner is over.
You always get to be the pale horse! MOOOOOM!
In the frozen land of MeTa, they were forced to eat quonsar's pantsfish.
You suck and your post sucks and I hate you over the internet.
"So, I had a twin..in my brain!" "Cool!" "But my brain ate it!" "Sad!"
I think you've put the czar before the hordes here.
I love Chinatown. Especially the fish stands with the fish still trying to breathe. It's like a great big aquatic snuff film.
I hate all music. I even hate birds. Sellout tweet tweet tweet bullshit by horny hollow boned wankers just looking to score.
This is starting to sound like weird Metafilter fanfic.
Sometimes I wish I lived in orthogonality's universe, where every message board host on the web was Rosa Parks fighting the Nazis.
I assure you I am not in need of a lesson in Black wang pigmentation. Thanks, though.
I absolutely refuse to believe that you note with astonishment each and every person you see wearing pants
The entire, short-lived Kudos Thread.
And, probably my all-time favorite in terms of cracking me up for no good reason:
it allows people like matthewchen to stick around with his retarded, unintelligible moonman comments despite the fact that he deliberately self-linked.
Hee hee. Moonman.
posted by Gator at 6:11 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
A comment by Cold Lurkey in response to an AskMe about "small, specific things that help [you] accomplish the banal tasks of everyday life with brio?"
I think of this comment and chuckle every single time I get out my vacuum cleaner and the cats run for cover:
My bird.
He sits on my shoulder and as I'm wiping down the counters, or spot cleaning the floor he leans over and goes "Pew pew pew!" "Pew Pew PEW!" like he's helping me clean... with lasers.
Incidentally, he is the primary cause for spot cleaning the floor.
I like to harass both him and the cat with the vacuum cleaner, that is my primary incentive for running the vacuum. I enjoy driving the animals before me and hearing the lamentations of their women.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
I think of this comment and chuckle every single time I get out my vacuum cleaner and the cats run for cover:
My bird.
He sits on my shoulder and as I'm wiping down the counters, or spot cleaning the floor he leans over and goes "Pew pew pew!" "Pew Pew PEW!" like he's helping me clean... with lasers.
Incidentally, he is the primary cause for spot cleaning the floor.
I like to harass both him and the cat with the vacuum cleaner, that is my primary incentive for running the vacuum. I enjoy driving the animals before me and hearing the lamentations of their women.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
Party 'til the cows come home, then party with the cows.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:34 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:34 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Dee Xtrovert on survivalism: "It's no way to live."
posted by Joe Beese at 6:38 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Joe Beese at 6:38 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
OK, I think we can all agree Kubrick faked the moon landings.
I love this not only because of the specific 'Kubrik faked the moon landings' crazy - I also aspire to use this rhetorical/sarco-comedic flourish myself. Saying, "OK, I think we can all agree..." with whatever preposterous horseshit is being discussed, which nobody is agreeing about, tickles me.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:45 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
I love this not only because of the specific 'Kubrik faked the moon landings' crazy - I also aspire to use this rhetorical/sarco-comedic flourish myself. Saying, "OK, I think we can all agree..." with whatever preposterous horseshit is being discussed, which nobody is agreeing about, tickles me.
posted by dirtdirt at 6:45 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
ND¢'s comment on the demands of society.
That's basically my favorite MetaFilter comment, except maybe for the Mr. Rogers speech.
posted by yaymukund at 6:48 AM on November 22, 2010
That's basically my favorite MetaFilter comment, except maybe for the Mr. Rogers speech.
posted by yaymukund at 6:48 AM on November 22, 2010
Dee Xtrovert's comment on the romanticization of the horrors of war really stuck with me; one of those comments that rocked me back and made me look at things in a new way.
On the still makes me laugh front, Pastabagel on a conversation where the man fully shares what's on his mind in the moment.
posted by Drastic at 6:48 AM on November 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
On the still makes me laugh front, Pastabagel on a conversation where the man fully shares what's on his mind in the moment.
posted by Drastic at 6:48 AM on November 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
Some of the ones people have listed were comments that I noticed at the time; others are totally new to me. Great reading.
posted by Forktine at 6:52 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by Forktine at 6:52 AM on November 22, 2010
For me it's carmen summing up what she learned in getting her master's degrees...
"When you privatize essential services, people die."posted by Hypnotic Chick at 6:53 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
This comment damn near chokes me up, I tell you what. And this comment made me cackle maniacally the first 10 times I read it. Basically robocop is bleeding is some sort of internet wizard.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:56 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 6:56 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oedipus Rex and Antigone -- in limerick form. (Spoiler Alert!)
posted by .kobayashi. at 7:10 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by .kobayashi. at 7:10 AM on November 22, 2010
Cats fart like ninjas. Silently and it kills.
posted to Ask Metafilter by dabitch at 9:17 AM on January 15, 2009
Also recently: MeFi post: Vegan No More
"Tears ran down my face as saliva pooled in my mouth."
Interestingly that sentence makes me never want to eat again.
posted to MetaFilter by A Terrible Llama at 2:59 AM on November 20, 2010
I think, the "interestingly" does it.
posted by Namlit at 7:30 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted to Ask Metafilter by dabitch at 9:17 AM on January 15, 2009
Also recently: MeFi post: Vegan No More
"Tears ran down my face as saliva pooled in my mouth."
Interestingly that sentence makes me never want to eat again.
posted to MetaFilter by A Terrible Llama at 2:59 AM on November 20, 2010
I think, the "interestingly" does it.
posted by Namlit at 7:30 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
These are the ones I remember well enough, in whole or in part, to use in everyday conversation (when necessary):
"I am in a church full of people with two mittens, and I have a mitten and a chicken puppet!"
***
"I regret that I have but one face to palm for my country."
***
Every time I hear homophobic comments from a computer geek, I grab their collar, yell "ALAN TURING!" as loud as I can, and run away.
***
I find that screaming "MIND-POISON!!!" at the top of my lungs at any negative person when they start to speak settles things pretty quickly.
If they persist, I just pretend that they're dead. Only problem is that I'm a little too good at that and usually end up freaking myself out. Later, when they find me holed up in a closet crying and clutching one of my many homemade crucifixes, I scream "MIND-POISON!!!" at them and the process begins anew.
I live a very active lifestyle.
***
So wait...did he ever go back to Africa and do his gay voodoo limbo tango and wango dance and jump and prance and all over the place half naked? I need closure.
**
There are a few others that I've kept in a quote file, complete with attribution, but my search is not turning them up--and they're all from users whose accounts are disabled. That is very, very strange.
posted by tzikeh at 7:32 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
"I am in a church full of people with two mittens, and I have a mitten and a chicken puppet!"
***
"I regret that I have but one face to palm for my country."
***
Every time I hear homophobic comments from a computer geek, I grab their collar, yell "ALAN TURING!" as loud as I can, and run away.
***
I find that screaming "MIND-POISON!!!" at the top of my lungs at any negative person when they start to speak settles things pretty quickly.
If they persist, I just pretend that they're dead. Only problem is that I'm a little too good at that and usually end up freaking myself out. Later, when they find me holed up in a closet crying and clutching one of my many homemade crucifixes, I scream "MIND-POISON!!!" at them and the process begins anew.
I live a very active lifestyle.
***
So wait...did he ever go back to Africa and do his gay voodoo limbo tango and wango dance and jump and prance and all over the place half naked? I need closure.
**
There are a few others that I've kept in a quote file, complete with attribution, but my search is not turning them up--and they're all from users whose accounts are disabled. That is very, very strange.
posted by tzikeh at 7:32 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
A relatively recent one: Rhaomi on favorites as beans.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:38 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:38 AM on November 22, 2010
Oh - and from the "Famous Poems Written as Limericks" thread, this gem:
Dulce et Decorum Est
The death of a comrade from gas,
Led young Owen to cry out, "Alas,
this is nasty and gory,
there's nothing of glory,
and Horace talked out of his ass."
posted by tzikeh at 7:38 AM on November 22, 2010
Dulce et Decorum Est
The death of a comrade from gas,
Led young Owen to cry out, "Alas,
this is nasty and gory,
there's nothing of glory,
and Horace talked out of his ass."
posted by tzikeh at 7:38 AM on November 22, 2010
Okay. Awkward.
posted by Stan Chin at 9:30 PM on June 13, 2004
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:38 AM on November 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
toilet paper mummy will not last the night
But ah my foes and oh my friends
It gives a mummy light
-----
The koopa troop is on the grass
The koopa troop is on the grass
Remembering games and Daisy's chains and laughs
Got to keep the koopas on the path
The koopa troop is in the hall
The koopa troops are in my hall
The spinies pound their rounded faces on the floor
And every day the Lakitu brings more
And if the pipe breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no flag upon the pole
And if Bob-omb explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the shroom
The koopa troop is in my head
The koopa troop is in my head
You raise the flower, you give the power
You rearrange me 'til I spit fire
You toss the star and play the music fast
There's someone in my head but it won't last
And if the block breaks, goombas on your rear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the house you're in is filled with countless boos
I'll see you on the dark side of the shroom
All that you touch and all that you see
All that you taste, all you feel
And all that you love and all that you hate
All you distrust, all you save
And all that you give and all that you deal
And all that you buy, beg, borrow or steal
And all you create and all you destroy
And all that you do and all that you say
And all that you wish and everyone you squish
And all that you slight and everyone you fight
And all that is now and all that is gone
And all that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the shroom
posted by The Whelk at 7:47 AM on November 22, 2010
But ah my foes and oh my friends
It gives a mummy light
-----
The koopa troop is on the grass
The koopa troop is on the grass
Remembering games and Daisy's chains and laughs
Got to keep the koopas on the path
The koopa troop is in the hall
The koopa troops are in my hall
The spinies pound their rounded faces on the floor
And every day the Lakitu brings more
And if the pipe breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no flag upon the pole
And if Bob-omb explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the shroom
The koopa troop is in my head
The koopa troop is in my head
You raise the flower, you give the power
You rearrange me 'til I spit fire
You toss the star and play the music fast
There's someone in my head but it won't last
And if the block breaks, goombas on your rear
You shout and no one seems to hear
And if the house you're in is filled with countless boos
I'll see you on the dark side of the shroom
All that you touch and all that you see
All that you taste, all you feel
And all that you love and all that you hate
All you distrust, all you save
And all that you give and all that you deal
And all that you buy, beg, borrow or steal
And all you create and all you destroy
And all that you do and all that you say
And all that you wish and everyone you squish
And all that you slight and everyone you fight
And all that is now and all that is gone
And all that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune
But the sun is eclipsed by the shroom
posted by The Whelk at 7:47 AM on November 22, 2010
I found more!
COMMANDMENT: DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Metafilter! Grow a spine!
Grow some grapes and make some wine!
Metafilter! Drink it down!
At a meetup in your town!
I heard if you pull (the emergency brake in the subway) then lots of candy comes out of the ceiling and a parade happens
We like each other more than we like anyone else. That's why we paired off. Sorry.
gay people get ready
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:50 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
COMMANDMENT: DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG. YOU FUCKING KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Metafilter! Grow a spine!
Grow some grapes and make some wine!
Metafilter! Drink it down!
At a meetup in your town!
I heard if you pull (the emergency brake in the subway) then lots of candy comes out of the ceiling and a parade happens
We like each other more than we like anyone else. That's why we paired off. Sorry.
gay people get ready
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:50 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Drastic had a great comment re: Roger Ebert's line, "If you were trying to make a point, I fear you are not in control of your instrument," and how it should be a MetaTalk motto. I try to remember it whenever I'm about to write something snarky or offensive, and it's saved many a discouraging word from being posted.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:06 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:06 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
This one is pretty recent, but it's been inexplicably popping into my head and making me laugh out loud: Things are going fine, I am hearing some new stuff and kind of not paying much attention to it, until all of a sudden I am merging onto 91 and as I am flipping, a voice asks me "HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX WITH A PHAROAH?" and I was like uhh actually no, but I might be interested.
(I hope that linked worked, it's my first time trying to link to a specific comment.)
posted by DrGirlfriend at 8:08 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
(I hope that linked worked, it's my first time trying to link to a specific comment.)
posted by DrGirlfriend at 8:08 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Whenever an unsupportable opinion is offered up with straight-spined sincerity I think of this comment which in household parlance is usually shortened to "Well, I've got really good gaydar..."
posted by jtron at 8:10 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by jtron at 8:10 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
It was easy to spot strangers who liked the weed when I was growing up - just look for the spotted unravelings on their jean thighs.
That's why I was never into weed - too much staring at the roughed up inner thighs of strange men. Acid was WAY easier to locate - you just look for the stranger with steak knives scotch taped all the way down his forearms, crying out "I am the ESSENCE of SHARPNESS! It's not like it wasn't ever this impossible before, no one just TRIED HARD ENOUGH!" and then weeping openly in a grocery.
posted by FatherDagon at 4:43 PM on September 21 [5 favorites -] [!]
Were we all the ESSENCE OF SHARPNESS like FatherDagon.
I wish I had time to contribute as much as I used to - it's been awhile since I've had a righteous conjunction of caffeine, a slow spell at work, and proper post subject to write a comment fable. I hope this doesn't have anything to do with shaving my beard a few months ago. If my power lay there, then it may be forever trapped in the fashion of the mid 90s.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
That's why I was never into weed - too much staring at the roughed up inner thighs of strange men. Acid was WAY easier to locate - you just look for the stranger with steak knives scotch taped all the way down his forearms, crying out "I am the ESSENCE of SHARPNESS! It's not like it wasn't ever this impossible before, no one just TRIED HARD ENOUGH!" and then weeping openly in a grocery.
posted by FatherDagon at 4:43 PM on September 21 [5 favorites -] [!]
Were we all the ESSENCE OF SHARPNESS like FatherDagon.
I wish I had time to contribute as much as I used to - it's been awhile since I've had a righteous conjunction of caffeine, a slow spell at work, and proper post subject to write a comment fable. I hope this doesn't have anything to do with shaving my beard a few months ago. If my power lay there, then it may be forever trapped in the fashion of the mid 90s.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
MeTa is a dark, cavernous kingdom inhabited by truculent monsters who see their cruelty and viciousness as points of pride and esteem.
posted by Kwine at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Kwine at 8:21 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
It's not just a square peg in a round hole terrible - its like some hyperdimensional tesseract peg trying to get shoved into flatland terrible.
---------------------------------------------
All in all, I don't think paying to send email is the answer, but you kind of wish there was a remote tesla coil option.
posted by Godbert at 8:47 AM on November 22, 2010
---------------------------------------------
All in all, I don't think paying to send email is the answer, but you kind of wish there was a remote tesla coil option.
posted by Godbert at 8:47 AM on November 22, 2010
These are great. I have to find the time to go back through my many favorites soon!
I think this frequently: "I have my priorities and they include TEA IN MY MOUTH" thanks to sonika.
I'm supposed to be working but also this: "Well in their defense, asking the Fox News audience to pay taxes for books is kind of like asking Superman to sponsor a Kryptonite factory" pops up in my stream of smart-ass consciousness quite often.
I got so much out of tangerine's ask/guess culture description!
posted by theredpen at 9:09 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I think this frequently: "I have my priorities and they include TEA IN MY MOUTH" thanks to sonika.
I'm supposed to be working but also this: "Well in their defense, asking the Fox News audience to pay taxes for books is kind of like asking Superman to sponsor a Kryptonite factory" pops up in my stream of smart-ass consciousness quite often.
I got so much out of tangerine's ask/guess culture description!
posted by theredpen at 9:09 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Also Greg Nog is occupying a disproportionate percentage of my favorites. I think he should run for VP, and I would like to be his media spokesperson.
posted by theredpen at 9:12 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by theredpen at 9:12 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Abiezer: "Rare feeling to find yourself siding with the cold forces of unbridled capitalism, hoping they complete the soul-crushing alienation of a hapless seller of wage-labour."
posted by enn at 9:14 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by enn at 9:14 AM on November 22, 2010
Funny comments that have stuck:
Crabby Appleton has the best kid's name.
It's just silliness but I like Salvor Hardin's recipe for umbrage.
Alvy Ampersand's Home Depot ban.
Bonzai's politically incorrect Alzheimer's joke still cracks me up.
albrecht found a middle way in the great 'sitters vs. standers' debate.
When things are stressing me to the breaking point I remember sonika's comment about 'that one noodle was apparently all that was holding my stepfather's mind in place.'
Bonzai's politically incorrect Alzheimer's joke still cracks me up.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:24 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Crabby Appleton has the best kid's name.
It's just silliness but I like Salvor Hardin's recipe for umbrage.
Alvy Ampersand's Home Depot ban.
Bonzai's politically incorrect Alzheimer's joke still cracks me up.
albrecht found a middle way in the great 'sitters vs. standers' debate.
When things are stressing me to the breaking point I remember sonika's comment about 'that one noodle was apparently all that was holding my stepfather's mind in place.'
Bonzai's politically incorrect Alzheimer's joke still cracks me up.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 9:24 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Of everything I have ever said, "a mustache is a smile's eyebrow" comes back to haunt me.
Such is life.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:33 AM on November 22, 2010
Such is life.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:33 AM on November 22, 2010
Also, I have used this in conversation
posted by The Whelk at 9:46 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 9:46 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Needs more bees.
I LIKE BIG BOATS AND I HAVE ONE EYE
YOU OTHER LUBBERS CAN'T DENY
WHEN A SCOW SAILS IN WITH AN ITTY-BITTY WAIST
AND A PORTHOLE IN YOUR FACE
YOU GET SPRUNG
EVEN THE DUNGAREES SHE'S WEARING
I'M CAPTAIN HOOK AND I CAN'T STOP STARING
You're in the desert, walking along the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a Google. You flip the Google on it's back. It's belly baking in the hot sun. You're not helping it. Why is that, Steve?
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:48 AM on November 22, 2010
I LIKE BIG BOATS AND I HAVE ONE EYE
YOU OTHER LUBBERS CAN'T DENY
WHEN A SCOW SAILS IN WITH AN ITTY-BITTY WAIST
AND A PORTHOLE IN YOUR FACE
YOU GET SPRUNG
EVEN THE DUNGAREES SHE'S WEARING
I'M CAPTAIN HOOK AND I CAN'T STOP STARING
You're in the desert, walking along the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a Google. You flip the Google on it's back. It's belly baking in the hot sun. You're not helping it. Why is that, Steve?
posted by two lights above the sea at 9:48 AM on November 22, 2010
Don't sit back down to see how the internet has changed in the last 15 minutes.
posted by googly at 9:54 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by googly at 9:54 AM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Every time I see or hear the word polyamory, I think of this comment. And it's the first one!
posted by peep at 10:03 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by peep at 10:03 AM on November 22, 2010
This little anecdote about karaoke made me laugh so hard that I copied and pasted it and sent it to a few friends. One of them told me that, thanks to his reading of it, the phrase "drunken endurance thunderdome" took up a permanent place in his vocabulary.
posted by orange swan at 10:05 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by orange swan at 10:05 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
I frequently think of this comment and giggle like a little girl.
posted by special-k at 10:26 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by special-k at 10:26 AM on November 22, 2010
Somewhere there was an FPP about preparing children for the suckitude of adulthood, and someone commented that, actually, being an adult was great because you could eat cereal for dinner and stay up all night if you wanted, and no one would yell at you. Every time I have cereal for dinner (which is a lot these days), I turn my frown upside down by thinking about how awesome it is to be an adult.
posted by sarahnade at 10:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by sarahnade at 10:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [8 favorites]
Favorite this comment if the first thing you did when opening this page was hit CTRL-F and search for your user name.
posted by Ian A.T. at 10:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Ian A.T. at 10:28 AM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
I didn't even favourite it at the time, but...
HELLO SIR PLEASE TO EAT A GIGANTIC BAG OF DICKS.
...pops into my head every time someone incurs my wrath.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:33 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
HELLO SIR PLEASE TO EAT A GIGANTIC BAG OF DICKS.
...pops into my head every time someone incurs my wrath.
posted by The Card Cheat at 10:33 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Well, we all watched Sesame Street and were told that education was this magic ticket to the future. We loved our little gold stars on our papers and every scrap of praise from our creative writing teacher, who was probably nursing disappointments of her own....
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:48 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:48 AM on November 22, 2010
Favorite this comment if the first thing you did when opening this page was hit CTRL-F and search for your user name.
I found my name TWICE! (Uh, three times if you include the comment I already made.) I win at the interent! I am going to PUT TEA IN MY MOUTH!
posted by sonika at 11:08 AM on November 22, 2010
I found my name TWICE! (Uh, three times if you include the comment I already made.) I win at the interent! I am going to PUT TEA IN MY MOUTH!
posted by sonika at 11:08 AM on November 22, 2010
I wasn't looking for name, but I did notice that someone quote a comment of mine but then linked instead to my entire profile. I assume that it's because every single word I type is like a gem dropped from the gem-dropping cloaca of a diamond swan.
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:11 AM on November 22, 2010 [8 favorites]
posted by Sticherbeast at 11:11 AM on November 22, 2010 [8 favorites]
insomnyuk buttock sprinkles.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 11:11 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 11:11 AM on November 22, 2010
It's been more than two years but this comment still pops into my mind and makes me laugh sometimes.
posted by Sailormom at 11:13 AM on November 22, 2010
posted by Sailormom at 11:13 AM on November 22, 2010
Favorite this comment if the first thing you did when opening this page was hit CTRL-F and search for your user name.
You're out of luck. I reserved that to the end. I wanted to laugh first.
Also, finally: CTRL;DF (searched; didn't find)
posted by Namlit at 11:28 AM on November 22, 2010
You're out of luck. I reserved that to the end. I wanted to laugh first.
Also, finally: CTRL;DF (searched; didn't find)
posted by Namlit at 11:28 AM on November 22, 2010
"fghdfhdfg
[...]
sorry i was made these post because a error...
administrator!!! please hope me!"
So applicable.
posted by carsonb at 11:47 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
[...]
sorry i was made these post because a error...
administrator!!! please hope me!"
So applicable.
posted by carsonb at 11:47 AM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
I didn't search for my name, but I bounced up & down in my chair like a little kid when I saw one of my comments was included in Rhaomi's Wall of Awesome.
posted by brundlefly at 12:22 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by brundlefly at 12:22 PM on November 22, 2010
A 2008 AskMe: What does Barack Obama smell like?
He smells like B.O.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:32 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
He smells like B.O.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:32 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
thank you iamkimiam for finding the comment that will transfer into the real world, so to speak
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:41 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by The Lady is a designer at 12:41 PM on November 22, 2010
And Coldplay? That's not music, that's the sound of young suburban couples losing the will to live.
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:01 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Devils Rancher at 1:01 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
YES I LIKE SEXY SEX AS THOUGH IT WERE MY PROFESSION!! TELL ME MORE ABOUT IT
posted by heyforfour at 1:14 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by heyforfour at 1:14 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Clash fan fiction by COBRA! is the sort of thing that makes this site worth reading.
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 1:23 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by Doublewhiskeycokenoice at 1:23 PM on November 22, 2010
I regularly remember the asker who, after sex, couldn't remove the smell of, well, pussy from his hands, no matter how much he washed or what soap he used.
Answer: Dude, wash your nose. Cue me giggling my ass off every time I think of it.
posted by Iteki at 1:37 PM on November 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
Answer: Dude, wash your nose. Cue me giggling my ass off every time I think of it.
posted by Iteki at 1:37 PM on November 22, 2010 [7 favorites]
You know, that "sexy sex" comment seems to miss the mark. Prostitutes aren't known for especially "liking" sex. Calling someone a prostitute doesn't mean "you like sex"; it means "you're here to serve me sexually." It's a dominant power play. Not that there's anything wrong with that! But that comment is a good example of how you can garner a lot of favorites (namely, 429 of them) in AskMe just by using a gimmicky presentation and drawing attention to how different your answer is from all the other answers.
posted by John Cohen at 1:53 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by John Cohen at 1:53 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
"In my opinion, audiophiles do to audio what pedophiles do to eight year olds." - johnnyace
posted by coolguymichael at 1:54 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by coolguymichael at 1:54 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
But that comment is a good example of how you can garner a lot of favorites (namely, 429 of them) in AskMe just by using a gimmicky presentation and drawing attention to how different your answer is from all the other answers.
And your comment is a great example of OVERTHINKING A PLATE OF BEANS.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:57 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
And your comment is a great example of OVERTHINKING A PLATE OF BEANS.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:57 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
the guilds may vary but the cant remains the same.
posted by clavdivs at 1:58 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by clavdivs at 1:58 PM on November 22, 2010
Prostitutes aren't known for especially "liking" sex.
This is an issue to take with what people say during sex, not with the accurate description thereof.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:59 PM on November 22, 2010
This is an issue to take with what people say during sex, not with the accurate description thereof.
posted by shakespeherian at 1:59 PM on November 22, 2010
When someone asks me to call them a whore during lovemaking, it's not so that we can make public the fact that they are not enjoying the sex and are merely in it for the money.
That much is assumed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:02 PM on November 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
That much is assumed.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:02 PM on November 22, 2010 [4 favorites]
You know, that "sexy sex" comment seems to miss the mark.
Yes. That comment. That comment was the one missing the mark.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:06 PM on November 22, 2010 [19 favorites]
Yes. That comment. That comment was the one missing the mark.
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:06 PM on November 22, 2010 [19 favorites]
That would thusly be a really funny thing to yell at your partner during sex if you wanted to check if they were enjoying themself or not.
WHORE?
posted by iamkimiam at 2:06 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
WHORE?
posted by iamkimiam at 2:06 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Ha, worst grammatical number agreement ever.
posted by iamkimiam at 2:08 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by iamkimiam at 2:08 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
Well, since we're on the subject, I won't ever be able to see a spider again without thinking of this comment from boo_radley: YES I AM A SEXY SPIDER WHO LIKES SEXY SEX!
posted by zarq at 2:12 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by zarq at 2:12 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I have a visceral image in my head of velociraptors trying to run after prey after being strapped to a roulette wheel, all thanks to this comment.
posted by yeti at 2:14 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by yeti at 2:14 PM on November 22, 2010
You guys know Mackenzie is a cat, right?
posted by The Whelk at 2:15 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 2:15 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I have been known to shout A FOOKIN SHOE at random times, particularly while driving. that comment made me laugh out loud for days afterwards.
posted by missmary6 at 2:15 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by missmary6 at 2:15 PM on November 22, 2010
But that comment is a good example of how you can garner a lot of favorites (namely, 429 of them) in AskMe just by using a gimmicky presentation and drawing attention to how different your answer is from all the other answers.
Beg to differ. It shows how you can garner favorites by showing the phenomenon being discussed from a slightly different - and rather amusing - perspective.
Because really, that is exactly what you are saying when you say "You like this, don't you, you whore?" It's "You like this, don't you, as if you were being paid to perform this act?" And yet, this really only works for sex. You wouldn't say "You like cooking me my dinner as if you were a master chef!" to your partner. Not if you ever wanted dinner ever again, that is.
posted by sonika at 2:17 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
Beg to differ. It shows how you can garner favorites by showing the phenomenon being discussed from a slightly different - and rather amusing - perspective.
Because really, that is exactly what you are saying when you say "You like this, don't you, you whore?" It's "You like this, don't you, as if you were being paid to perform this act?" And yet, this really only works for sex. You wouldn't say "You like cooking me my dinner as if you were a master chef!" to your partner. Not if you ever wanted dinner ever again, that is.
posted by sonika at 2:17 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'm seriously starting to hate you bitches.posted by Fiasco da Gama at 2:18 PM on November 22, 2010
Didn't your mamas teach you that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all? For real, it's a *really* good rule to live by.
Assholes.
"You like cooking me my dinner as if you were a master chef!"
Well, if you want to do it right, you'd say: "You like cooking me my dinner as if you were a master chef, don't you, you whore?"
posted by Eideteker at 2:34 PM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
Well, if you want to do it right, you'd say: "You like cooking me my dinner as if you were a master chef, don't you, you whore?"
posted by Eideteker at 2:34 PM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
At least, that's how it always went in my household.
posted by Eideteker at 2:34 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by Eideteker at 2:34 PM on November 22, 2010
Makes more sense than "themselves" with a singular referent, if you as me.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:39 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:39 PM on November 22, 2010
Yeah, you like solvin' them differential equations you slut!
posted by Mister_A at 2:51 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 2:51 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I missed that thread, but I'll tell my funny escalator story.
It's my first time in Washington D.C. and I'm walking toward the entrance to the D.C. underground. Ahead of me, there's a grandmother with a little girl. The girl approaches the top of the escalator, and becomes visibly frightened. Calm grandmother takes her by the hand and leads her onto the escalator.
"Aww," I think. "What a nice grandma."
Then I get to the top of the escalator.
Holy fucking shit. It's the freakiest, tallest, steepest escalator I've ever seen. Who the hell built this motorized stairway to the abyss? No wonder the little girl was scared. I'm scared.
"Geezus," I think. "Can I get grandma to hold my hand?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:52 PM on November 22, 2010 [6 favorites]
It's my first time in Washington D.C. and I'm walking toward the entrance to the D.C. underground. Ahead of me, there's a grandmother with a little girl. The girl approaches the top of the escalator, and becomes visibly frightened. Calm grandmother takes her by the hand and leads her onto the escalator.
"Aww," I think. "What a nice grandma."
Then I get to the top of the escalator.
Holy fucking shit. It's the freakiest, tallest, steepest escalator I've ever seen. Who the hell built this motorized stairway to the abyss? No wonder the little girl was scared. I'm scared.
"Geezus," I think. "Can I get grandma to hold my hand?"
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:52 PM on November 22, 2010 [6 favorites]
This hilarious comment has caused me to chuckle whenever I hear someone use "I have my period" as an excuse for something.
posted by phunniemee at 3:38 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by phunniemee at 3:38 PM on November 22, 2010
I find that the the phrase "Jesus Christ died because he was weak and stupid! Hail Satan!" pops hilariously into my head at the oddest moments. Thanks Metafilter!
posted by whir at 4:16 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by whir at 4:16 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
One of my fondest wishes is to one day be in a conversation that naturally drifts into the topic of how one would dispose of a body, because I know EXACTLY what I will say: I'll open with, "First, be smart from the very beginning..." and continue with as much as I can remember. I will wait years, if necessary, for the perfect moment. Everyone will think I'm such a BADASS.
Thanks, Scarabic!
posted by Jacqueline at 4:33 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Thanks, Scarabic!
posted by Jacqueline at 4:33 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Just going through my own favorites:
Sir, do not presume...
Turgid Dahlia explains our modern age.
"Clearly, this man has never harvested fearberries."
What Burhansitan was doing wrong.
And jquimby responds to Russia's "Procreation Day."
posted by Navelgazer at 4:43 PM on November 22, 2010
Sir, do not presume...
Turgid Dahlia explains our modern age.
"Clearly, this man has never harvested fearberries."
What Burhansitan was doing wrong.
And jquimby responds to Russia's "Procreation Day."
posted by Navelgazer at 4:43 PM on November 22, 2010
whir: hate to burst your bubble, but that comment is a quote from the Onion.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:45 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by Navelgazer at 4:45 PM on November 22, 2010
I have told several IRL friends that Always Infinity is the Rolls-Royce of maxipads thanks to two or three cars parked under the stars (with backup from sonika).
posted by maryr at 5:05 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by maryr at 5:05 PM on November 22, 2010
whir: hate to burst your bubble, but that comment is a quote from the Onion.
AND NOW I HAVE YOUR FAVORITES
posted by synaesthetichaze at 5:16 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
AND NOW I HAVE YOUR FAVORITES
posted by synaesthetichaze at 5:16 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
"desperate, ass-jittering cattle"
simultaneously the most repugnant argument and the funniest turn-of-phrase ever.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:31 PM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
simultaneously the most repugnant argument and the funniest turn-of-phrase ever.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 5:31 PM on November 22, 2010 [5 favorites]
I howl with laughter every time I see a PT Cruiser.
And when I get cynical, I think of this.
posted by WidgetAlley at 5:35 PM on November 22, 2010
And when I get cynical, I think of this.
posted by WidgetAlley at 5:35 PM on November 22, 2010
(Three! I have been mentioned three times in this thread! I'm so happy, I could pee! Wait... no... that's not happy. That's just all that tea. As you were.)
posted by sonika at 5:37 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by sonika at 5:37 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Always Infinity can help with that. At least a little.
posted by maryr at 5:46 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by maryr at 5:46 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Three! I have been mentioned three times in this thread!
Go ahead and gloat. I do the hard work of commenting day after day, hour after hour, lines and lines of half-formed semi-readable sentiment and what do I get? Bah!
posted by The Whelk at 5:49 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
Go ahead and gloat. I do the hard work of commenting day after day, hour after hour, lines and lines of half-formed semi-readable sentiment and what do I get? Bah!
posted by The Whelk at 5:49 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
"Thomas Jefferson was a shadow man," said John Adams?
posted by clavdivs at 5:58 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by clavdivs at 5:58 PM on November 22, 2010
I do the hard work of commenting day after day, hour after hour, lines and lines of half-formed semi-readable sentiment and what do I get? Bah!
I might be able to find a spare Always Infinity for you. I'm not using them at the moment (being all knocked up and all), you go right ahead! Help yourself! They're delightful!
posted by sonika at 5:59 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I might be able to find a spare Always Infinity for you. I'm not using them at the moment (being all knocked up and all), you go right ahead! Help yourself! They're delightful!
posted by sonika at 5:59 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Im agonna climb into this quantum reactor and cry for days
posted by The Whelk at 6:01 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by The Whelk at 6:01 PM on November 22, 2010
what do I get? Bah!
A tartan bowtie, I really hope. GEEEEEETTTTTTT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:08 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
A tartan bowtie, I really hope. GEEEEEETTTTTTT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:08 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
whir: hate to burst your bubble, but that comment is a quote from the Onion.
Well, I like the Onion too, but it was the specific juxtaposition with "say what you will" that always makes me think of it. It's one of those phrases that I'm always saving up to drop into a conversation if somebody says "say what you will" but the only times I actually remember it are at a big meeting at my office.
posted by whir at 6:10 PM on November 22, 2010
Well, I like the Onion too, but it was the specific juxtaposition with "say what you will" that always makes me think of it. It's one of those phrases that I'm always saving up to drop into a conversation if somebody says "say what you will" but the only times I actually remember it are at a big meeting at my office.
posted by whir at 6:10 PM on November 22, 2010
The Whelk: "I do the hard work of commenting day after day, hour after hour, lines and lines of half-formed semi-readable sentiment and what do I get? "
Catharsis?
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:30 PM on November 22, 2010
Catharsis?
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:30 PM on November 22, 2010
Three! I have been mentioned three times in this thread!
I have learned not to mention how popular I am.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:33 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I have learned not to mention how popular I am.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:33 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh fuck.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:33 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:33 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
turgid dahlia*: So what you're saying is I'm not allowed to have a smart-assed opinion, formed immediately from the top of my head, completely bereft of facts, and without having first investigated the evidence and the procedures of the argument? What are you, some kind of test tube-juggling, statistics-crunching, peer-reviewed neo-Sagan? Nice try, Hitlerocrates!
*whose contributions to this site I miss dearly.
posted by gman at 6:46 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
*whose contributions to this site I miss dearly.
posted by gman at 6:46 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
The first rule of Popular Club is not to talk about Popular Club.
The second rule of Popular Club is to look aw-shucksy when someone else talks about Popular Club.
The third rule of Popular Club is that any ball that bounces into the stadium between the foul lines is an automatic ground-rule double.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:46 PM on November 22, 2010
The second rule of Popular Club is to look aw-shucksy when someone else talks about Popular Club.
The third rule of Popular Club is that any ball that bounces into the stadium between the foul lines is an automatic ground-rule double.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:46 PM on November 22, 2010
He's a something libesomethingian!
I can't remember the exact details.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:36 PM on January 5, 2006 [+]
posted by clavdivs at 6:48 PM on November 22, 2010
I can't remember the exact details.
posted to MetaFilter by Astro Zombie at 12:36 PM on January 5, 2006 [+]
posted by clavdivs at 6:48 PM on November 22, 2010
The third rule of Popular Club is that any ball that bounces into the stadium between the foul lines is an automatic ground-rule double.
It doesn't have stay between the lines. If it's a batted, live ball and then bounces out of play then it's OK I'll just shut up now thanks.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:53 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
It doesn't have stay between the lines. If it's a batted, live ball and then bounces out of play then it's OK I'll just shut up now thanks.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 6:53 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
"And for total bed-death you could have put on Prairie Home Companion".
(And the question is pretty funny too).
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:56 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
(And the question is pretty funny too).
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 6:56 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I kind of miss Turgid Dahlia. He was fun.
posted by The Whelk at 6:57 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 6:57 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
I always have the urge to loudly interject "WARNING: HORSE COCK!" whenever an unexpected shocking event of any kind occurs. Before a certain Metafilter thread, I am quite certain that warning people about horse cocks never occured to me.
posted by madamjujujive at 7:05 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by madamjujujive at 7:05 PM on November 22, 2010
"And yet here you are"
I miss Bugbread's incisive understatements sometimes.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:07 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
I miss Bugbread's incisive understatements sometimes.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:07 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
And now cruisingforsex.com is in my browsing history. DAMN YOU STUPID CURIOSITY.
I miss Turgid Dahlia too... that thread he checked out in was not a good one.
posted by Kattullus at 7:17 PM on November 22, 2010
I miss Turgid Dahlia too... that thread he checked out in was not a good one.
posted by Kattullus at 7:17 PM on November 22, 2010
"People often misunderstand what narcissism is because they go no further than accepting the superficial implications of the person who has fallen in love with their own image reflected in the mirror. But a narcissist isn't so much in love with themselves as they are mesmerized by the idea of themselves."
Click through to read all of Ethereal Bligh's masterful description of the narcissist.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:21 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Click through to read all of Ethereal Bligh's masterful description of the narcissist.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:21 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I always think of this comment by ColdChef whenever I read some especially LOLRELIGION piece.
posted by xbonesgt at 7:24 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by xbonesgt at 7:24 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]
Yeah bugbread was the man.
Now for my personal favorite: The Skittle-mobile exchange!
It's not really a discrete comment but I still giggle when I see the odd Camry or Civic.
posted by Mister_A at 7:28 PM on November 22, 2010
Now for my personal favorite: The Skittle-mobile exchange!
It's not really a discrete comment but I still giggle when I see the odd Camry or Civic.
posted by Mister_A at 7:28 PM on November 22, 2010
that comment is a good example of how you can garner a lot of favorites (namely, 429 of them) in AskMe just by using a gimmicky presentation and drawing attention to how different your answer is from all the other answers.
posted by John Cohen at 4:53 PM on November 22 [+] [!]
Yeah, but it did get about 400 more favorites than citing a few of your own comments as examples of excellence has.
posted by googly at 8:28 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by John Cohen at 4:53 PM on November 22 [+] [!]
Yeah, but it did get about 400 more favorites than citing a few of your own comments as examples of excellence has.
posted by googly at 8:28 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yeah, but it did get about 400 more favorites than citing a few of your own comments as examples of excellence has.
Are some of the people who made those comments sockpuppets of John Cohen? If not, what are you talking about?
posted by zarq at 8:36 PM on November 22, 2010
Are some of the people who made those comments sockpuppets of John Cohen? If not, what are you talking about?
posted by zarq at 8:36 PM on November 22, 2010
This insightful haiku pleasantly surprises me in moments of solitude. It's the key to some invisible door, I'm sure.
Shout-outs to nature
are like shout-outs to rappers.
What's up, my nature?
posted by elphTeq at 8:49 PM on November 22, 2010
Shout-outs to nature
are like shout-outs to rappers.
What's up, my nature?
posted by elphTeq at 8:49 PM on November 22, 2010
Yeah, but it did get about 400 more favorites than citing a few of your own comments as examples of excellence has.
We're supposed to be "citing examples of excellence"? I must have misread the post then. I thought we were supposed to be talking about comments that stick with us and that pop up in our heads at unexpected times.
posted by John Cohen at 9:04 PM on November 22, 2010
We're supposed to be "citing examples of excellence"? I must have misread the post then. I thought we were supposed to be talking about comments that stick with us and that pop up in our heads at unexpected times.
posted by John Cohen at 9:04 PM on November 22, 2010
Webster's Dictionary defines 'excellence' as 'The quality or condition of being excellent'.
Wait, are these supposed to be Metafilter comments?
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:11 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Wait, are these supposed to be Metafilter comments?
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:11 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
Part of the Sexy Sex comment has permanently lodged in my brain, and anytime someone is going on and on and on about something, a part of my brain yells out TELL ME ABOUT IT. It makes meetings less insufferable.
Also, I only just realized Turgid Dahlia was gone. Nooooooooooo. douchewrangler
posted by grapesaresour at 9:33 PM on November 22, 2010
Also, I only just realized Turgid Dahlia was gone. Nooooooooooo. douchewrangler
posted by grapesaresour at 9:33 PM on November 22, 2010
herrdoktor's tale of ULTRAMARINE and strategy for fighting the gum bandit
atrazine asking "I mean seriously? Have you got internet hippie syndrome?"
posted by Majorita at 10:13 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
atrazine asking "I mean seriously? Have you got internet hippie syndrome?"
posted by Majorita at 10:13 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
I saw some biker dudes over the Summer and immediately thought of this:
"Whenever I see men on the street who have arm, back or neck tattooes of the name of their motorcycle club in faux-blackletter gothic script I always make a point of telling them that it's historically inacurate for the script to be written exclusively in all-caps and that it shows a terrible understanding of the role of illuminated manuscript in pre-modern Europe."
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:33 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by mlis at 10:32 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Whenever I see men on the street who have arm, back or neck tattooes of the name of their motorcycle club in faux-blackletter gothic script I always make a point of telling them that it's historically inacurate for the script to be written exclusively in all-caps and that it shows a terrible understanding of the role of illuminated manuscript in pre-modern Europe."
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:33 PM on November 15, 2009
posted by mlis at 10:32 PM on November 22, 2010 [1 favorite]
When I get upset I frequently think of Jessamyn's epic comment, "Increased GRAR levels harsh my general life buzz." I'm still lobbying for a Mefi t-shirt to read that.
posted by IndigoRain at 11:17 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by IndigoRain at 11:17 PM on November 22, 2010 [3 favorites]
I'MA JUST INTERROGATE THE TEXT FOR HINTS OF AN UR-NARRATIVE, NO POMO
posted by NoraReed at 11:28 PM on November 22, 2010
posted by NoraReed at 11:28 PM on November 22, 2010
So apparently I have Internet Hippie Syndrome and I never knew it. Kumbayah! (sp?)
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:04 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:04 AM on November 23, 2010
Every time I am around a dog who is lovable but dumb, I laugh as I think of netbros' comment: "Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? That's how dogs spend their lives."
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:28 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 1:28 AM on November 23, 2010
Oh so, *this* is the thread that's responsible for all those old comments suddenly hitting "popular favorites" :)
(Incidentally, this thread appears twice in succession in "Popular Favorites". Does that make it doubly popular?)
posted by pharm at 2:36 AM on November 23, 2010
(Incidentally, this thread appears twice in succession in "Popular Favorites". Does that make it doubly popular?)
posted by pharm at 2:36 AM on November 23, 2010
No, I think you've just had too much to drink. Go to bed.
No, I think you've just had too much to drink. Go to bed.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:30 AM on November 23, 2010
No, I think you've just had too much to drink. Go to bed.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:30 AM on November 23, 2010
I'm shamed by all you people and your incredible memory superpowers, but I do remember at least one fave, because I actually sent a fan note to Optimus Chyme after his comment in the thread about tech journalist Bob Cringely's internet rant because Kinko's wouldn't print his naked-family Xmas cards:
just read Cringely's own "about" page, on his own site, written by himself. I think O.P. captured his true voice.
posted by taz at 3:42 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
This is the second year in a row we’ve been rejected by Kinkos. “I remember you,” said Ms. Johnson, handing back my USB drive with a look of disdain. It was hard for me to tell whether this was a different look of disdain from the one I got when Ms. Johnson had to put down her cellphone to serve me in the first place.I fell over. booyah
yeah bitch it's me robert x. cringly.coming at you with the force of a thousand hurricanes. last year you saw my wiener this year your getting a little taste of "teh sideboob" from my lovely wife
better prtint those photos.i'm on the internet.big news cringley is what they call me.shove a usb stick up your heiney. minimum wage sheeple out of my way.
oh who has a column in a little something called a magazine? you guess right it's me the cringe-dog.three boys all with massive weiners. put down your cell and check em out booyah
just read Cringely's own "about" page, on his own site, written by himself. I think O.P. captured his true voice.
posted by taz at 3:42 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Go ahead and gloat. I do the hard work of commenting day after day, hour after hour, lines and lines of half-formed semi-readable sentiment and what do I get? Bah!
The Whelk: I also think "oh god what did i just write" after everything I ever post.
posted by theredpen at 5:32 AM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
The Whelk: I also think "oh god what did i just write" after everything I ever post.
posted by theredpen at 5:32 AM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
Hate to add another all-cap comment but:
HEY ALL YOU JACKOFFS
posted by gubo at 6:08 AM on November 23, 2010
HEY ALL YOU JACKOFFS
posted by gubo at 6:08 AM on November 23, 2010
I giggle a bit whenever I remember the Infocom/Nixon comment.
posted by Alterscape at 6:57 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Alterscape at 6:57 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
whenever I hear the phrase homosexual agenda
posted by The Whelk at 7:04 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 7:04 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Distressingly often, I also think of cortex.
posted by molecicco at 7:08 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by molecicco at 7:08 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Are some of the people who made those comments sockpuppets of John Cohen? If not, what are you talking about?
Well, yes. On his profile, John Cohen lists himself as "The Mefite Formerly Known as Jaltcoh" - and he cites several of Jaltcoh's comments.
posted by googly at 7:31 AM on November 23, 2010
Well, yes. On his profile, John Cohen lists himself as "The Mefite Formerly Known as Jaltcoh" - and he cites several of Jaltcoh's comments.
posted by googly at 7:31 AM on November 23, 2010
Well, yes. On his profile, John Cohen lists himself as "The Mefite Formerly Known as Jaltcoh" - and he cites several of Jaltcoh's comments.
Yes, which is why I said "nevermind."
posted by zarq at 7:35 AM on November 23, 2010
Yes, which is why I said "nevermind."
posted by zarq at 7:35 AM on November 23, 2010
The reason I didn't elaborate in my follow-up comment is the mods have tried to discourage us from quoting information off of profiles (which aren't indexed by search engines,) into areas of the site that are, like Metatalk threads.
posted by zarq at 7:45 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by zarq at 7:45 AM on November 23, 2010
On his profile, John Cohen lists himself as "The Mefite Formerly Known as Jaltcoh" - and he cites several of Jaltcoh's comments.
That's an overstatement. I included exactly 2 of them. Who cares?
posted by John Cohen at 7:54 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
That's an overstatement. I included exactly 2 of them. Who cares?
posted by John Cohen at 7:54 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
That's an overstatement. I included exactly 2 of them. Who cares?
I always assumed people won prizes for calling out other people for doing stuff. I mean, why else would they do it?
posted by bondcliff at 7:56 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I always assumed people won prizes for calling out other people for doing stuff. I mean, why else would they do it?
posted by bondcliff at 7:56 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
That's an overstatement. I included exactly 2 of them. Who cares?
I kind of do. No big deal, but that sort of rubs me the wrong way.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:59 AM on November 23, 2010
I kind of do. No big deal, but that sort of rubs me the wrong way.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:59 AM on November 23, 2010
Yeah, but it did get about 400 more favorites than citing a few of your own comments as examples of excellence has.
Well, to be fair, Mr. Cohen links to 25 quotes and has, thus far, received 18 faves for his trouble. So that's what, 18 X 25 = 450.
So by my math, Mr. Cohen is currently winning this most pivotal of Metafilter showdowns (currently by 17 points) ... but as Jesus once said, "It ain't over until it's over."
posted by philip-random at 8:03 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Well, to be fair, Mr. Cohen links to 25 quotes and has, thus far, received 18 faves for his trouble. So that's what, 18 X 25 = 450.
So by my math, Mr. Cohen is currently winning this most pivotal of Metafilter showdowns (currently by 17 points) ... but as Jesus once said, "It ain't over until it's over."
posted by philip-random at 8:03 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
... and that's not even factoring in all the original faves that the initial comments received.
posted by philip-random at 8:05 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by philip-random at 8:05 AM on November 23, 2010
Oh wait, John Cohen is Jaltoch? Yeah, that's a little weird.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:09 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 8:09 AM on November 23, 2010
I actually went out of my way not to include many of my comments. If you look at my profile (which googly apparently did), you'll see I've collected several times as many comments as I linked in this thread. That's how I had all those comments ready to link at the drop of a hat. I keep track of the comments that I want to return to. About half of them are by me. Writing comments on Metafilter helps me articulate things that have been in my head, and in turn, those comments themselves start sticking in my head. If you think this makes me self-centered or something, you're entitled to your opinion about me. But I specifically skewed my comment in this thread against my own comments.
I also think the way some people try to police other people favoriting their own comments, marking their own comments as best answers, or linking to their comments in MeTa, is pretty silly. If I write a comment that's one of my favorite comments, I might favorite it. The other day I asked an AskMe question and I gave the best answer, so I marked my own comment as best answer. Sometimes someone posts a general call for favorite comments in MeTa, and if some of my comments fit I'll link to them.
They're just internet comments, folks! Again, who cares? For dirtdirt to say "I do" is a literal answer to my rhetorical question, not an explanation. OK, so you would have preferred not to see a comment by me showing up again in another comment by me. But I don't post comments to satisfy your preferences; I just post a comment when I have something to say.
posted by John Cohen at 8:10 AM on November 23, 2010
I also think the way some people try to police other people favoriting their own comments, marking their own comments as best answers, or linking to their comments in MeTa, is pretty silly. If I write a comment that's one of my favorite comments, I might favorite it. The other day I asked an AskMe question and I gave the best answer, so I marked my own comment as best answer. Sometimes someone posts a general call for favorite comments in MeTa, and if some of my comments fit I'll link to them.
They're just internet comments, folks! Again, who cares? For dirtdirt to say "I do" is a literal answer to my rhetorical question, not an explanation. OK, so you would have preferred not to see a comment by me showing up again in another comment by me. But I don't post comments to satisfy your preferences; I just post a comment when I have something to say.
posted by John Cohen at 8:10 AM on November 23, 2010
Ok, well... ok. Here's some more sticky/funny comments! Over here, you guys!
Sonascope on sleep walking, birds, air conditioners, and squirrels.
Greg Nog's ultimate burn: "Plus you so lacking in critical skills you make malcolm gladwell look like michiko kakutani."
Idiopath on Umberto Eco. (I called out his brilliance in the same thread, it was that funny.)
The Whelk thinks the universe imploded.
posted by functionequalsform at 8:16 AM on November 23, 2010
Sonascope on sleep walking, birds, air conditioners, and squirrels.
Greg Nog's ultimate burn: "Plus you so lacking in critical skills you make malcolm gladwell look like michiko kakutani."
Idiopath on Umberto Eco. (I called out his brilliance in the same thread, it was that funny.)
The Whelk thinks the universe imploded.
posted by functionequalsform at 8:16 AM on November 23, 2010
I think the only problem is that there's an edict against linking previous accounts to current accounts. So people see you linking to your own comments and they know that they're your own comments and maybe other people don't know that connection. This makes people itchy because technically we're not supposed to drag that connection from your userpage [which Google knows the identity of, but not the content of, in all cases that I know of] and so it becomes a weird thing we can only sort of talk about. Liking your own comments is fine, from my perspective. Not mentioning they're yours [obvious to you, not so obvious to other people] is slightly odd but otherwise not a big problem from my perspective.
Maybe we'll have a "favorite things you said" MeTa [which I would enjoy] at some later date.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Maybe we'll have a "favorite things you said" MeTa [which I would enjoy] at some later date.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I kind of do. No big deal, but that sort of rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah, same. Sort of unsporting.
That's too bad about turgid dahlia. He could be a dick, but he could also be funny.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2010
Yeah, same. Sort of unsporting.
That's too bad about turgid dahlia. He could be a dick, but he could also be funny.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:17 AM on November 23, 2010
Metafilter helps me articulate things that have been in my head, and in turn, those comments themselves start sticking in my head.
How dare you have your own ideas stuck in your head? What are you? Not a self-loathing depressive?
posted by philip-random at 8:19 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
How dare you have your own ideas stuck in your head? What are you? Not a self-loathing depressive?
posted by philip-random at 8:19 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
The most immutable law of MetaFilter is no self-linking. You linked to comments of yours in a thread that is sort of like a "best of MetaFilter", even if that isn't the exact wording used to kick it off, and the comments of your own that you linked to were posted under different user name. None of this is probably against the letter of the law, and in my mind it isn't the same as self-linking but it is probably on the same bus route.
I'd probably feel better about it if you'd said something like, "Oh yeah! I didn't think that would come off that way. No harm intended. A couple of the comments I linked to ARE mine." instead of saying that it was an overstatement, and that you didn't include as many as you COULD have included, and who cares anyway, it's just the internet. But, as you say, it's not about satisfying my preferences, so carry on.
posted by dirtdirt at 8:26 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'd probably feel better about it if you'd said something like, "Oh yeah! I didn't think that would come off that way. No harm intended. A couple of the comments I linked to ARE mine." instead of saying that it was an overstatement, and that you didn't include as many as you COULD have included, and who cares anyway, it's just the internet. But, as you say, it's not about satisfying my preferences, so carry on.
posted by dirtdirt at 8:26 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I've cracked myself up with several of my own comments in the past, but I knew better than to link to them here because, yeah, see above. I actually got called out in the last podcast thread for "self-promotion" just because I linked back to MY CALVIN & HOBBES POST FROM LAST MONTH. As if linking to your own MetaFilter contributions in a MetaTalk thread is somehow akin to self-linking on the Blue, or something. Pffffft.
On preview, COME ON, dirtdirt.
posted by Gator at 8:27 AM on November 23, 2010
On preview, COME ON, dirtdirt.
posted by Gator at 8:27 AM on November 23, 2010
I think the only problem is that there's an edict against linking previous accounts to current accounts. So people see you linking to your own comments and they know that they're your own comments and maybe other people don't know that connection.
Well, I'm not exactly hiding the fact.
Also, I don't know what you mean about an "edict against linking previous accounts." I've had this account for several months; I don't remember any mods ever telling me it's a problem. I've read other MeTas about this and was under the impression that you're not supposed to do repeated account shifting, but a one-time "I feel like changing my username" is OK. And if I'm going to do that, naturally I'll want to indicate it in my current profile so my old contacts can know what the deal is. If I've done anything wrong, I'll try to correct it any way I can. But so far I just haven't seen anyone identify anything I've done wrong.
Maybe we'll have a "favorite things you said" MeTa [which I would enjoy] at some later date.
I didn't see any reason not to do some of that in this thread.
posted by John Cohen at 8:28 AM on November 23, 2010
Well, I'm not exactly hiding the fact.
Also, I don't know what you mean about an "edict against linking previous accounts." I've had this account for several months; I don't remember any mods ever telling me it's a problem. I've read other MeTas about this and was under the impression that you're not supposed to do repeated account shifting, but a one-time "I feel like changing my username" is OK. And if I'm going to do that, naturally I'll want to indicate it in my current profile so my old contacts can know what the deal is. If I've done anything wrong, I'll try to correct it any way I can. But so far I just haven't seen anyone identify anything I've done wrong.
Maybe we'll have a "favorite things you said" MeTa [which I would enjoy] at some later date.
I didn't see any reason not to do some of that in this thread.
posted by John Cohen at 8:28 AM on November 23, 2010
The most immutable law of MetaFilter is no self-linking.
Well, if I've done the worst possible thing on Metafilter, then I suppose I should be banned. The mods are free to do that right now.
However, if the rule against "self-linking" includes relevantly bringing up your own comments/posts on Metafilter in things that aren't FPPs, that'd be news to me.
posted by John Cohen at 8:33 AM on November 23, 2010
Well, if I've done the worst possible thing on Metafilter, then I suppose I should be banned. The mods are free to do that right now.
However, if the rule against "self-linking" includes relevantly bringing up your own comments/posts on Metafilter in things that aren't FPPs, that'd be news to me.
posted by John Cohen at 8:33 AM on November 23, 2010
The most immutable law of MetaFilter is no self-linking.
Good grief, this is seriously a ridiculous overreaction. The rule against self-linking is that you can't link to your own offsite material in a post, not that you can't link to your own stuff in a comment in the thread if it's relevant. And there's no "law" against linking to your own MetaFilter comments, that's ridiculous.
Although this exchange does remind me of yet another tidbit of past hilarity: A self-linking double post callout in which mathowie advised the complainer that he was "totally high" and closed up the thread with this awesome comment:
And let's not lower the bar for "self-link" further to include a link to a post you made on mefi that is completely relevant to what you are saying.
posted by Gator at 8:33 AM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
Good grief, this is seriously a ridiculous overreaction. The rule against self-linking is that you can't link to your own offsite material in a post, not that you can't link to your own stuff in a comment in the thread if it's relevant. And there's no "law" against linking to your own MetaFilter comments, that's ridiculous.
Although this exchange does remind me of yet another tidbit of past hilarity: A self-linking double post callout in which mathowie advised the complainer that he was "totally high" and closed up the thread with this awesome comment:
And let's not lower the bar for "self-link" further to include a link to a post you made on mefi that is completely relevant to what you are saying.
posted by Gator at 8:33 AM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
Also, I don't know what you mean about an "edict against linking previous accounts." I've had this account for several months; I don't remember any mods ever telling me it's a problem.
That's about the opposite of what she's getting at. The edict such as it is is to folks in general to not make a point of connecting someone's newer account to their older one. It's generally not cool. And so, here, we had a point of tension on that fact, because on the one hand folks are going to be disinclined to be like "uh, John Cohen, you were jaltcoh, yeah?" because it goes against that general expectation, but on the other hand you were linking to your own comments but not making it clear that they were by you-by-a-different-name in a context where a lot of people would likely think that was kind of odd and gauche if they knew.
I didn't see any reason not to do some of that in this thread.
I don't think there's any formal reason not to do that in this thread. On the other hand, basically no one was doing that, and when you broke that trend you did it in a way that was, whatever your intent or lack thereof, functionally a little deceptive in the process.
Which, I'm with Jessamyn on this: it's not a thing on any level that matter from a policy perspective, link your own comments if you want to and no harm done. But that's where people blinking at the whole thing are coming from, I think, and I understand the blinking as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:34 AM on November 23, 2010
That's about the opposite of what she's getting at. The edict such as it is is to folks in general to not make a point of connecting someone's newer account to their older one. It's generally not cool. And so, here, we had a point of tension on that fact, because on the one hand folks are going to be disinclined to be like "uh, John Cohen, you were jaltcoh, yeah?" because it goes against that general expectation, but on the other hand you were linking to your own comments but not making it clear that they were by you-by-a-different-name in a context where a lot of people would likely think that was kind of odd and gauche if they knew.
I didn't see any reason not to do some of that in this thread.
I don't think there's any formal reason not to do that in this thread. On the other hand, basically no one was doing that, and when you broke that trend you did it in a way that was, whatever your intent or lack thereof, functionally a little deceptive in the process.
Which, I'm with Jessamyn on this: it's not a thing on any level that matter from a policy perspective, link your own comments if you want to and no harm done. But that's where people blinking at the whole thing are coming from, I think, and I understand the blinking as well.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:34 AM on November 23, 2010
Well, it was a nice thread while it lasted.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:35 AM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:35 AM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
Yeah, I tried. Oh well.
posted by functionequalsform at 8:38 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by functionequalsform at 8:38 AM on November 23, 2010
Now that that's settled, can we move on from the weirdness and get back to posting excellent comments?
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:38 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:38 AM on November 23, 2010
Loquacious' story about peeing in a fire
"Oh choice they are giving us more gin again"
What's a ****?
posted by louche mustachio at 8:39 AM on November 23, 2010
"Oh choice they are giving us more gin again"
What's a ****?
posted by louche mustachio at 8:39 AM on November 23, 2010
Also, not a month goes by that I don't think with fondness of NDc^H|'s meditation on the untypability of his own username.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:46 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:46 AM on November 23, 2010
They're penises. Let's all move on.
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 8:48 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I don't think there's any formal reason not to do that in this thread. On the other hand, basically no one was doing that, and when you broke that trend you did it in a way that was, whatever your intent or lack thereof, functionally a little deceptive in the process.
So you're saying I should have clicked through everyone else's links to find out if anyone else had linked to their own comments, and deduced that if no one else had (I don't even know if that's true, since I haven't clicked every single link in this thread), then I'd be deceiving people if I happened to be the first? That's pretty silly. I would not have gone to that trouble, since it's fine with me if other people link to their comments without bothering to add an attribution in this post. And I've never felt obligated to click every single link in a MeTa thread before commenting in it. I know it's your job to take the site seriously, but I think we've been taking this way too seriously. (I include myself in that "we.")
But you're the mods, not me. I posted that comment just because I thought people might get some enjoyment or insight out of perusing old comments in a MeTa thread about old comments. And yes, two of them are by me, and yes I like some of my own comments and think they're relevant to this thread. If someday you retire as a mod and you start posting under another username instead of cortex, and someone posts a MeTa asking for the most spontaneous acts of creativity ever on MetaFilter, I'd think you could drop a quick link to your "matthewchen is spamming" song without providing a full disclosure that the person linking it is the same person who recorded it. But if you disagree with me and think this is something that should not happen on the site, you're obviously free to disagree with me and delete my comment.
posted by John Cohen at 8:50 AM on November 23, 2010
So you're saying I should have clicked through everyone else's links to find out if anyone else had linked to their own comments, and deduced that if no one else had (I don't even know if that's true, since I haven't clicked every single link in this thread), then I'd be deceiving people if I happened to be the first? That's pretty silly. I would not have gone to that trouble, since it's fine with me if other people link to their comments without bothering to add an attribution in this post. And I've never felt obligated to click every single link in a MeTa thread before commenting in it. I know it's your job to take the site seriously, but I think we've been taking this way too seriously. (I include myself in that "we.")
But you're the mods, not me. I posted that comment just because I thought people might get some enjoyment or insight out of perusing old comments in a MeTa thread about old comments. And yes, two of them are by me, and yes I like some of my own comments and think they're relevant to this thread. If someday you retire as a mod and you start posting under another username instead of cortex, and someone posts a MeTa asking for the most spontaneous acts of creativity ever on MetaFilter, I'd think you could drop a quick link to your "matthewchen is spamming" song without providing a full disclosure that the person linking it is the same person who recorded it. But if you disagree with me and think this is something that should not happen on the site, you're obviously free to disagree with me and delete my comment.
posted by John Cohen at 8:50 AM on November 23, 2010
Imagine, for a moment, that a significant portion of the population believed, based on your looks, that if they encountered you in public, you owed them a dollar.
I had a hillbilly neighbor once who didn't pay his electric bill.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:53 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
I had a hillbilly neighbor once who didn't pay his electric bill.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:53 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
Here are a few more of my favorite comments:
squid can sense fear.
livejournalism school
I HATE IT WHEN WEBSITES IMPLEMENT THINGS WITHOUT CONSULTING ME
pile of bones with band... What is Keith Richards? FULL DISCLOSURE: THIS AMUSING COMMENT WAS MADE IN A THREAD THAT I, GATOR, POSTED, BUT THE COMMENT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME!
gator's mods were born long, long ago; before the swampy mist of script exploits closed in and cut off his lonely peninsula. FULL DISCLOSURE: THIS AMUSING COMMENT WAS MADE ABOUT ME, GATOR, BUT THE COMMENT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME!
posted by Gator at 9:01 AM on November 23, 2010
squid can sense fear.
livejournalism school
I HATE IT WHEN WEBSITES IMPLEMENT THINGS WITHOUT CONSULTING ME
pile of bones with band... What is Keith Richards? FULL DISCLOSURE: THIS AMUSING COMMENT WAS MADE IN A THREAD THAT I, GATOR, POSTED, BUT THE COMMENT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME!
gator's mods were born long, long ago; before the swampy mist of script exploits closed in and cut off his lonely peninsula. FULL DISCLOSURE: THIS AMUSING COMMENT WAS MADE ABOUT ME, GATOR, BUT THE COMMENT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME!
posted by Gator at 9:01 AM on November 23, 2010
Usually there's some fire or torment going on when it's AOL
MOO! MOO! Hey, MOO!
IIII AAAAAM PLUUUUNGERMAAAAAN
Warning! You are entering Ground Zero of a Dramabomb!
I picture cortex as Philip Marlowe
never let someone on a gallant steed take your lily-white hand and lead you to the woods
"I might", he murmured thoughtfully, "take it to Metatalk."
posted by catlet at 9:01 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
MOO! MOO! Hey, MOO!
IIII AAAAAM PLUUUUNGERMAAAAAN
Warning! You are entering Ground Zero of a Dramabomb!
I picture cortex as Philip Marlowe
never let someone on a gallant steed take your lily-white hand and lead you to the woods
"I might", he murmured thoughtfully, "take it to Metatalk."
posted by catlet at 9:01 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
FULL DISCLOSURE: THIS AMUSING COMMENT WAS MADE ABOUT ME, GATOR, BUT THE COMMENT WAS NOT WRITTEN BY ME!
UNLEASH THE HOUNDS
posted by dirtdirt at 9:03 AM on November 23, 2010
UNLEASH THE HOUNDS
posted by dirtdirt at 9:03 AM on November 23, 2010
So you're saying I should have clicked through everyone else's links to find out if anyone else had linked to their own comments, and deduced that if no one else had (I don't even know if that's true, since I haven't clicked every single link in this thread), then I'd be deceiving people if I happened to be the first?
Not really. I'm saying that I don't think anybody but you got the impression from the thread as it was developing that people were linking to their own comments. That's...really about it. You read the social cues of the developing thread differently from everybody else, apparently, and in this case it led to a sort of complicated "did he really do that" reaction for a few people because of the different-account-with-no-mention thing in tension with the don't-out-people's-old-account-history expectation.
I know it's your job to take the site seriously, but I think we've been taking this way too seriously.
I am not taking this particularly seriously. Me and Jess have both been pretty clear that we don't think there was any kind of problem here. I did my best to explain to you why the reaction you seem to be surprised to have gotten occurred, and how that touched gently on a couple policy issues that had come up in this thread already on that point. If you want to not have that sort of thing explained, it's probably best not to engage the subject in Metatalk where, SRS BSNS or not (and, again, I'm reading this as pretty decidedly not), it's basically our job to answer questions about mefi stuff when they come up.
If someday you retire as a mod and you start posting under another username instead of cortex, and someone posts a MeTa asking for the most spontaneous acts of creativity ever on MetaFilter, I'd think you could drop a quick link to your "matthewchen is spamming" song without providing a full disclosure that the person linking it is the same person who recorded it.
I probably could; personally, I very highly doubt I would because I think that'd be a little weird if there wasn't already some really clearly established understanding to the general readership that that was me, but, well, that's just my read on that hypothetical situation and how I'd feel about it.
But if you disagree with me and think this is something that should not happen on the site, you're obviously free to disagree with me and delete my comment.
No one but you seems to be raising the idea of either (a) deleting your comment or (b) banning you.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:05 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Not really. I'm saying that I don't think anybody but you got the impression from the thread as it was developing that people were linking to their own comments. That's...really about it. You read the social cues of the developing thread differently from everybody else, apparently, and in this case it led to a sort of complicated "did he really do that" reaction for a few people because of the different-account-with-no-mention thing in tension with the don't-out-people's-old-account-history expectation.
I know it's your job to take the site seriously, but I think we've been taking this way too seriously.
I am not taking this particularly seriously. Me and Jess have both been pretty clear that we don't think there was any kind of problem here. I did my best to explain to you why the reaction you seem to be surprised to have gotten occurred, and how that touched gently on a couple policy issues that had come up in this thread already on that point. If you want to not have that sort of thing explained, it's probably best not to engage the subject in Metatalk where, SRS BSNS or not (and, again, I'm reading this as pretty decidedly not), it's basically our job to answer questions about mefi stuff when they come up.
If someday you retire as a mod and you start posting under another username instead of cortex, and someone posts a MeTa asking for the most spontaneous acts of creativity ever on MetaFilter, I'd think you could drop a quick link to your "matthewchen is spamming" song without providing a full disclosure that the person linking it is the same person who recorded it.
I probably could; personally, I very highly doubt I would because I think that'd be a little weird if there wasn't already some really clearly established understanding to the general readership that that was me, but, well, that's just my read on that hypothetical situation and how I'd feel about it.
But if you disagree with me and think this is something that should not happen on the site, you're obviously free to disagree with me and delete my comment.
No one but you seems to be raising the idea of either (a) deleting your comment or (b) banning you.
posted by cortex (staff) at 9:05 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Sometimes you just want to shake people by the shoulders and then make them look at the sunshine.
The sunshine! That's where I'm a....
posted by zarq at 9:12 AM on November 23, 2010
The sunshine! That's where I'm a....
posted by zarq at 9:12 AM on November 23, 2010
But if you disagree with me and think this is something that should not happen on the site, you're obviously free to disagree with me and delete my comment.
I look at this from a different perspecive. Many people, when they open a second account, would prefer that there was some distance between that account and their new one. It's our pact with the users that if they don't make the explicit connection, that we won't. This can sometimes bite us on the ass when a user with problems tries to turn over a new leaf, fails, and we can't really be like "you're still doing that THING again" out loud because it's against the general mod-guidelines to out a user's connection to their former self.
Some people don't mind if this connection is made and you seem to be such a user. However, without your explicit not-just-on-your-userpage acknowledgement of that, our guideline for us still stands. We won't link the accounts and we tell other people not to. Since you don't seem to mind, we're not deleting people's comment in this thread that make the connection but under any less-clear circumstances, we would.
So, again, this is no big deal, but while it's clear to you that your two accounts are both you, it's less clear to others. And some people care about that and have explained why. This doesn't approach anything requiring mod intervention but everyone then has to sot through more of this mod explanation stuff. I guess maybe I should link this to the Mod Explanation thread in the wiki.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:12 AM on November 23, 2010
I look at this from a different perspecive. Many people, when they open a second account, would prefer that there was some distance between that account and their new one. It's our pact with the users that if they don't make the explicit connection, that we won't. This can sometimes bite us on the ass when a user with problems tries to turn over a new leaf, fails, and we can't really be like "you're still doing that THING again" out loud because it's against the general mod-guidelines to out a user's connection to their former self.
Some people don't mind if this connection is made and you seem to be such a user. However, without your explicit not-just-on-your-userpage acknowledgement of that, our guideline for us still stands. We won't link the accounts and we tell other people not to. Since you don't seem to mind, we're not deleting people's comment in this thread that make the connection but under any less-clear circumstances, we would.
So, again, this is no big deal, but while it's clear to you that your two accounts are both you, it's less clear to others. And some people care about that and have explained why. This doesn't approach anything requiring mod intervention but everyone then has to sot through more of this mod explanation stuff. I guess maybe I should link this to the Mod Explanation thread in the wiki.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 9:12 AM on November 23, 2010
HEY IF YOU MAKE PEOPLE LOOK AT THE SUNSHINE THEY'LL GO BLIND THANKS ALOT PAL STOP
posted by Mister_A at 9:19 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 9:19 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
SPEAKING AS A CAPITALIST
ONE WHO TRAFFICS IN SUNSHINE
I APPRECIATE YOUR...
(JINGLES COINS)
(WAGGLES RINGS)
(BLINKS GEM-EYES RAPIDLY, REVEALING A SERIES OF GEMS)
(TAKES OFF GOLDEN MASK, REVEALING WET, TUMID FLESH UNDERNEATH, WINKS)
(SHITS DOLLAR BILLS WITH A SOUND LIKE FIRING A SHOTGUN INTO A PILLOW)
...BUSINESS
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:33 AM on November 23, 2010
ONE WHO TRAFFICS IN SUNSHINE
I APPRECIATE YOUR...
(JINGLES COINS)
(WAGGLES RINGS)
(BLINKS GEM-EYES RAPIDLY, REVEALING A SERIES OF GEMS)
(TAKES OFF GOLDEN MASK, REVEALING WET, TUMID FLESH UNDERNEATH, WINKS)
(SHITS DOLLAR BILLS WITH A SOUND LIKE FIRING A SHOTGUN INTO A PILLOW)
...BUSINESS
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:33 AM on November 23, 2010
If someday you retire as a mod and you start posting under another username instead of cortex
More likely, he'd just spend most of his days playing Minecraft. Oh, wait.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:35 AM on November 23, 2010
More likely, he'd just spend most of his days playing Minecraft. Oh, wait.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:35 AM on November 23, 2010
It's our pact with the users that if they don't make the explicit connection, that we won't.
cool, i feel much more secure now!
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 9:41 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
cool, i feel much more secure now!
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 9:41 AM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
When I am waiting in line for something I will sometimes hear the voice of HENRY ROLLINS.
posted by milkrate at 9:48 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by milkrate at 9:48 AM on November 23, 2010
I just always thought he was a weirdo doing weirdo things.
This comment has helped me out so many times when I could not figure out someone's motivation for doing what they do or being unusually odd.
posted by JennyJupiter at 9:49 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
This comment has helped me out so many times when I could not figure out someone's motivation for doing what they do or being unusually odd.
posted by JennyJupiter at 9:49 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Visiting my parents' house is like falling through the computer monitor and landing amongst the pickiest, most discerning denizens of the chowhound boards. It's delicious, and you really can't complain about the wine offerings, but it is high-pressure competitive foodie-ism. So when I make popcorn at home I always think 'IT CAN BE THE KRAFT KIND OR WAHTEVS, LET'S NOT GET FANCY,' and it is pretty much the rebellious battle-cry of my soul.
This Christmas I plan on making giant f-ing batches of delicious, delicious buffalo wing popcorn, parmesan popcorn, and the South of the London River popcorn for everyone.
YES. I MADE THIS ONE WITH BLUE CHEESE 'CRUMBLES.' Oh, none for me. I'm just going to sit here and eat this entire canister of MSG with a SPOON. HAHAHAHAHA!
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 9:53 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
This Christmas I plan on making giant f-ing batches of delicious, delicious buffalo wing popcorn, parmesan popcorn, and the South of the London River popcorn for everyone.
YES. I MADE THIS ONE WITH BLUE CHEESE 'CRUMBLES.' Oh, none for me. I'm just going to sit here and eat this entire canister of MSG with a SPOON. HAHAHAHAHA!
posted by Uniformitarianism Now! at 9:53 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
The problem of sucker MCs really is ever-present. I too give out advice I wouldn't take myself. I said it already in the last favorite comment thread but I still clear the way all the time. And Optimus Chyme has a point.
posted by clavicle at 9:56 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by clavicle at 9:56 AM on November 23, 2010
We should have a MeTa thread wherein we link to all of our earliest comments and have a big community-wide cringe/awkward fest.
posted by Think_Long at 9:58 AM on November 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by Think_Long at 9:58 AM on November 23, 2010 [4 favorites]
OMG, Uniformitarianism Now!, I hate you for posting that, because now I need popcorn with butter, garlic, and parmesan cheese :(
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:02 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:02 AM on November 23, 2010
HEY IF YOU MAKE PEOPLE LOOK AT THE SUNSHINE THEY'LL GO BLIND THANKS ALOT PAL STOP
OR SNEEZE. THEY COULD ALSO SNEEZE. THIS COULD BE MARGINALLY HELPFUL IF YOU'VE GOT THAT REALLY ANNOYING "ZOMG I HAVE TO SNEEZE" FEELING BUT ARE NOT CURRENTLY SNEEZING AND IT'S ALL MAKING YOUR EYES ITCH.
posted by sonika at 10:09 AM on November 23, 2010
OR SNEEZE. THEY COULD ALSO SNEEZE. THIS COULD BE MARGINALLY HELPFUL IF YOU'VE GOT THAT REALLY ANNOYING "ZOMG I HAVE TO SNEEZE" FEELING BUT ARE NOT CURRENTLY SNEEZING AND IT'S ALL MAKING YOUR EYES ITCH.
posted by sonika at 10:09 AM on November 23, 2010
WHEN I WAS VERY YOUNG I WAS CONVINCED THAT I WAS ALLERGIC TO THE SUN DUE TO THIS PHENOMENON
posted by shakespeherian at 10:10 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by shakespeherian at 10:10 AM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Herzog brings us Jackass for intellectuals.
Now you see I will be flying down this hill to end in the muddy, swirling river. I ride this shopping cart, and it is not meaningless transport. The rich use for consumption, with tomatoes and steak; the poor for production with collections of bottles and cans, and the artist for chaos, with the artist himself inside and these angry unknown rodents. We will see how it happens. Please light us on fire now, so we have the poetry. Push me, Kinski, now!
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 4:35 PM on August 27, 2006 [93 favorites +] [!]
posted by Tom-B at 10:30 AM on November 23, 2010 [6 favorites]
Now you see I will be flying down this hill to end in the muddy, swirling river. I ride this shopping cart, and it is not meaningless transport. The rich use for consumption, with tomatoes and steak; the poor for production with collections of bottles and cans, and the artist for chaos, with the artist himself inside and these angry unknown rodents. We will see how it happens. Please light us on fire now, so we have the poetry. Push me, Kinski, now!
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 4:35 PM on August 27, 2006 [93 favorites +] [!]
posted by Tom-B at 10:30 AM on November 23, 2010 [6 favorites]
Oh god, me too Tom-B. I'll think of that at the randomest times--folding laundry last weekend even--and just get this huge idiotic appreciative smile on my face.
posted by ifjuly at 10:36 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by ifjuly at 10:36 AM on November 23, 2010
nanojath's thoughts on Cars and people popped into my head the other day after I happened to see the Cars 2 trailers. Right at the end where Mater pops out of the ladycars' bathroom apologizing to background shrieks.
posted by Drastic at 11:00 AM on November 23, 2010
Here's the thing: you never get to see inside the cars. Ol' Doc might take a look under the hood but the doors never open. My theory is that the people are still inside, trapped and filthy, allowed out only as much as is absolutely necessary to preserve their lives, in tightly controlled, secretive environments (it is equivalent to our relationship with scatological issues).I bet the Cars world has some parallel debate about standing versus sitting.
posted by Drastic at 11:00 AM on November 23, 2010
With a BLT every man is a king, every woman is president-for-life, every dog is a pony.
posted by flod at 11:16 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by flod at 11:16 AM on November 23, 2010
Thirding Herzog brings us Jackass for intellectuals. Each individual phrase can have me literally laughing out loud when I think of it, especially in a German accent...The rich use for consumption, with tomatoes and steak (LOL) angry unknown rodents (ROFL) Please light us on fire now, so we have the poetry (ROFLMAO).
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:47 AM on November 23, 2010
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:47 AM on November 23, 2010
YEAH THAT'S TRUE ABOUT THE SUN-SNEEZE I TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT SUN-SNEEZES ONE TIME AND THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY SO I CURB-STOMPED THEM
posted by Mister_A at 12:14 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by Mister_A at 12:14 PM on November 23, 2010
Pastabagel's treatise on Diet Coke is nothing short of transcendental.
posted by Zozo at 12:44 PM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
A well poured can of Diet Coke transcends its beverageness. It is alchemical. Each bubble is a rejuvenating world-within-a-world, the decoherence of all quantum cola possibilities. This is why Diet Coke poured into a glass will crack ordinary cubes of ice. The flavor itself rends spacetime - the cracking of the cube is an aftershock of the shearing of the universe.*wipes away single tear*
posted by Zozo at 12:44 PM on November 23, 2010 [3 favorites]
It is pitch black in the Watergate Hotel. You are likely to be eaten by agnew when it was cited here.
posted by phearlez at 2:02 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by phearlez at 2:02 PM on November 23, 2010
This pops into my mind every-so-often. It's basically true, but in the context of the discussion where it was posted it makes a greater statement.
posted by peeedro at 2:13 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by peeedro at 2:13 PM on November 23, 2010
We often presented our now-departed old cat with treats that we tried to jazz up with feline-appropriate marketing slogans, a la maryh.
I throw "fighting for your rights" in random conversation, a la shmegegge.
When I need to zippily relay a VIP as having power beyond imagination, I use a variation on "Hi. Gerard Louis-Dreyfus here. I can buy you, then fire all of you, then put you on the street, then hire people to threaten anyone who wants to give you spare change, and finally hire a specially trained poodle whose sole purpose will be to whiz on you all day long, stopping only to rehydrate."
posted by pineapple at 2:38 PM on November 23, 2010
I throw "fighting for your rights" in random conversation, a la shmegegge.
When I need to zippily relay a VIP as having power beyond imagination, I use a variation on "Hi. Gerard Louis-Dreyfus here. I can buy you, then fire all of you, then put you on the street, then hire people to threaten anyone who wants to give you spare change, and finally hire a specially trained poodle whose sole purpose will be to whiz on you all day long, stopping only to rehydrate."
posted by pineapple at 2:38 PM on November 23, 2010
There are tons more but I wanted to contribute so here are a few I didn't see mentioned upthread...
CTKML talks about stray data anxiety. A concept I've found useful in talking to people about organizing information. I love 'stray data anxiety'. *shudder*
Notjustfoxybrown's five dollar people with ten dollars
mealy-mouth shares small and bitter origins
Dejah420's gloriously angry breastfeeding story (which was very close to my own)
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:53 PM on November 23, 2010
CTKML talks about stray data anxiety. A concept I've found useful in talking to people about organizing information. I love 'stray data anxiety'. *shudder*
Notjustfoxybrown's five dollar people with ten dollars
mealy-mouth shares small and bitter origins
Dejah420's gloriously angry breastfeeding story (which was very close to my own)
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:53 PM on November 23, 2010
Sometimes when I am hearing a lot of eco-stuff I can't help but remember this comment in a small, scary little voice inside my brain.
posted by The otter lady at 2:59 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 2:59 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
My all time favorite comment, which I still come across when I look through and weed out my favorites is:
Who doesn't love tchochkes?
Joanie loves Tchochkes!
It makes me laugh every time I see it.
posted by wittgenstein at 3:17 PM on November 23, 2010
Who doesn't love tchochkes?
Joanie loves Tchochkes!
It makes me laugh every time I see it.
posted by wittgenstein at 3:17 PM on November 23, 2010
Pastabagel's treatise on Diet Coke is nothing short of transcendental.
A well poured can of Diet Coke transcends its beverageness. It is alchemical. Each bubble is a rejuvenating world-within-a-world, the decoherence of all quantum cola possibilities. This is why Diet Coke poured into a glass will crack ordinary cubes of ice. The flavor itself rends spacetime - the cracking of the cube is an aftershock of the shearing of the universe.
*wipes away single tear*
posted by Zozo at 2:44 PM on November 23 [2 favorites +] [!]
From the link in the quote: "It's pronounced 'read it', but spelled reddit."
Really? It's not supposed to be pronounced reh-dit? As in, I've already read it, and here's what I think?
posted by Night_owl at 5:47 PM on November 23, 2010
A well poured can of Diet Coke transcends its beverageness. It is alchemical. Each bubble is a rejuvenating world-within-a-world, the decoherence of all quantum cola possibilities. This is why Diet Coke poured into a glass will crack ordinary cubes of ice. The flavor itself rends spacetime - the cracking of the cube is an aftershock of the shearing of the universe.
*wipes away single tear*
posted by Zozo at 2:44 PM on November 23 [2 favorites +] [!]
From the link in the quote: "It's pronounced 'read it', but spelled reddit."
Really? It's not supposed to be pronounced reh-dit? As in, I've already read it, and here's what I think?
posted by Night_owl at 5:47 PM on November 23, 2010
Reread that last sentence aloud and it will come to you in a second, dude.
posted by elizardbits at 6:03 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by elizardbits at 6:03 PM on November 23, 2010
Okay, but here's where I'm confused. The author of that comment clearly meant it as some kind of miniature epiphany. So, for me, it's obviously pronounced reh-dit, so the epiphany must be that the author is saying it's pronounced ree-dit. Which is a possible way to say "read it".
Also, I have been known to overthink things.
posted by Night_owl at 6:08 PM on November 23, 2010
Also, I have been known to overthink things.
posted by Night_owl at 6:08 PM on November 23, 2010
The joke is that "read it" is ambiguous whereas "reddit" is not. Lacking the majestic ambiguity of a word like "mefite" the redditors must make do with simple humourous allusion to a non-existent debate.
posted by ODiV at 6:41 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by ODiV at 6:41 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
A few comments not yet mentioned that still make me laugh:
quadrilaterals: "I realized internet comments were bullshit one day last August."
Sassyfras: "does ANYONE that you know have a parrot?"
stupidsexyFlanders: "As for your living a sedimentary lifestyle, I would not take my health for granite if I were you."
Masterful trolling from orthogonality: "To get a posting removed, you have to flag it in a way that doesn't look automated, and you have to do this multiple times. But persistence pays off. Here's what to do"...
Wolfdog on a violinist who destroyed his Stradivarius in a moment of clumsiness: "I bet that fellow let out a few F naturals when it happened."
posted by Drop Daedalus at 7:20 PM on November 23, 2010
quadrilaterals: "I realized internet comments were bullshit one day last August."
Sassyfras: "does ANYONE that you know have a parrot?"
stupidsexyFlanders: "As for your living a sedimentary lifestyle, I would not take my health for granite if I were you."
Masterful trolling from orthogonality: "To get a posting removed, you have to flag it in a way that doesn't look automated, and you have to do this multiple times. But persistence pays off. Here's what to do"...
Wolfdog on a violinist who destroyed his Stradivarius in a moment of clumsiness: "I bet that fellow let out a few F naturals when it happened."
posted by Drop Daedalus at 7:20 PM on November 23, 2010
How was that "trolling"? ortho went into great technical detail to answer the question.
posted by mlis at 7:28 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by mlis at 7:28 PM on November 23, 2010
How was that "trolling"? ortho went into great technical detail to answer the question.
It's trolling because that's not how Craigslist works but it's funny [for some people] to imagine someone incensed by adult services ads loading them (including ALL the images) over and over.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:31 PM on November 23, 2010
It's trolling because that's not how Craigslist works but it's funny [for some people] to imagine someone incensed by adult services ads loading them (including ALL the images) over and over.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 7:31 PM on November 23, 2010
Maybe that was what happened to the Rev Fred Nile (a fundamentalist Christian member of parliament) whose official internet account was found to have hundreds of thousands of hits on adult content.
He blamed it on his staff "researching". Now I realise he was probably trying to flag adult ads on Craigslist.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:59 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
He blamed it on his staff "researching". Now I realise he was probably trying to flag adult ads on Craigslist.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:59 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I see most of my favorites are here already, but I would like to throw in:
Divine Wino laying out how REAL MEN shave.
The Mandelbrot dinner set, and the subsequent sparring between the quidnunc kid and twoleftfeet.
Ian A.T.'s eulogy for Geocities ( I control-F'ed and couldn't find it here.)
"I like the Daily Show but I think it's a major waste of taxpayer's money to have an entire department of government dedicated to writing material for it."
posted by dances_with_sneetches back in 2006.
"I imagine that by washing with bacon soap you'd be FRIEND TO ALL DOGS." by bonehead back in the pre-favorites era.
Finally, I now try to work in Splunge's observation "You can go to hell in Minecraft now." into every conversation.
posted by gamera at 8:36 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Divine Wino laying out how REAL MEN shave.
The Mandelbrot dinner set, and the subsequent sparring between the quidnunc kid and twoleftfeet.
Ian A.T.'s eulogy for Geocities ( I control-F'ed and couldn't find it here.)
"I like the Daily Show but I think it's a major waste of taxpayer's money to have an entire department of government dedicated to writing material for it."
posted by dances_with_sneetches back in 2006.
"I imagine that by washing with bacon soap you'd be FRIEND TO ALL DOGS." by bonehead back in the pre-favorites era.
Finally, I now try to work in Splunge's observation "You can go to hell in Minecraft now." into every conversation.
posted by gamera at 8:36 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
I had no idea you could favorite comments in deleted posts. Seems unintended.
posted by Night_owl at 9:33 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by Night_owl at 9:33 PM on November 23, 2010
favoriting comments in deleted threads is like punching someone in the dark.
posted by The Whelk at 10:13 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:13 PM on November 23, 2010 [2 favorites]
... or necrophilia.
posted by philip-random at 10:15 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by philip-random at 10:15 PM on November 23, 2010
I like it, it is a way to keep some part of the deleted thread alive.
posted by mlis at 10:44 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by mlis at 10:44 PM on November 23, 2010
Motherfuckers talk snark, straight punch 'em in the dark. Blaaah!
posted by Balonious Assault at 10:55 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by Balonious Assault at 10:55 PM on November 23, 2010
Can't start a fire
Can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just punching in the dark
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:57 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
Can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just punching in the dark
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 10:57 PM on November 23, 2010 [1 favorite]
evil grows in cracks and holes
and lives in people's minds
posted by philip-random at 11:02 PM on November 23, 2010
and lives in people's minds
posted by philip-random at 11:02 PM on November 23, 2010
nonono Ya see The Whelk said 'someone', this implies life. What you suggest is average zombie 'love' in reverse.
posted by clavdivs at 11:05 PM on November 23, 2010
posted by clavdivs at 11:05 PM on November 23, 2010
sir, you are suggesting that the dead have none of the vril in them?
actually, having scanned that wiki-page, I'm sincerely hoping they don't
posted by philip-random at 11:19 PM on November 23, 2010
actually, having scanned that wiki-page, I'm sincerely hoping they don't
posted by philip-random at 11:19 PM on November 23, 2010
motty's "a medium we are still defining by usage" line often comes to mind when odd or awkward situations arise with new media. And that is a brilliant and very funny song.
posted by micayetoca at 4:17 AM on November 24, 2010
posted by micayetoca at 4:17 AM on November 24, 2010
i do believe I've been punched in the throat
posted by The Lady is a designer at 5:03 AM on November 24, 2010
posted by The Lady is a designer at 5:03 AM on November 24, 2010
My absolute favorite comment came here, from anazgnos:
Yeah, it's really interesting how seeing a movie at different points in time can lead to very different views. When I saw Big Momma's House as a 16 year old boy, I thought it was pretty funny. 40 years later as a middle-aged lesbian, I thought it was an interesting exploration of institutional reinforcement of all-pervasive patriarchal power dynamics . When I saw it in the 15th century as a simple millworker, I had no context in which to interpret projected moving images and concluded that it was the work of Satan.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:22 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
Yeah, it's really interesting how seeing a movie at different points in time can lead to very different views. When I saw Big Momma's House as a 16 year old boy, I thought it was pretty funny. 40 years later as a middle-aged lesbian, I thought it was an interesting exploration of institutional reinforcement of all-pervasive patriarchal power dynamics . When I saw it in the 15th century as a simple millworker, I had no context in which to interpret projected moving images and concluded that it was the work of Satan.
posted by Rory Marinich at 8:22 AM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
My absolute favorite comment came here, from anazgnos:
Wow that thread takes me back and makes me angry about interpretive frameworks all over again.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:36 AM on November 24, 2010
Wow that thread takes me back and makes me angry about interpretive frameworks all over again.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:36 AM on November 24, 2010
At some point in the semi-recent past -- less than two years, since it postdates my move into my current dishwasherless apartment -- there was a comment making an analogy about, I don't know, something. It was along the lines of, "There are people who say you should never put a knife in a sink filled with soapsuds. On the other hand, there are some who say you should never reach into a sink filled with soapsuds because you might cut yourself on a concealed knife. The thing is, they're both right."
When I first read this comment, it struck me as a brilliant Yodaesque koan. About half the time I'm doing dishes I recollect said koan and try to remember the context so as to divine what the hell the poster was driving at. Of course, I'm always up to my elbows in Palmolive (and pawing around the sink as carefully as a raccoon feeling for crawdads) when I'm wondering this. By the time everything's in the draining rack I've forgotten all about it again, until the next time when the scent of detergent and tickle of the bubbles takes me back, Proustlike, to the comment. Currently my hands are at long last suds-free but my Google-fu is failing me. I despair of ever truly reaching enlightenment.
posted by cirocco at 12:55 PM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]
When I first read this comment, it struck me as a brilliant Yodaesque koan. About half the time I'm doing dishes I recollect said koan and try to remember the context so as to divine what the hell the poster was driving at. Of course, I'm always up to my elbows in Palmolive (and pawing around the sink as carefully as a raccoon feeling for crawdads) when I'm wondering this. By the time everything's in the draining rack I've forgotten all about it again, until the next time when the scent of detergent and tickle of the bubbles takes me back, Proustlike, to the comment. Currently my hands are at long last suds-free but my Google-fu is failing me. I despair of ever truly reaching enlightenment.
posted by cirocco at 12:55 PM on November 24, 2010 [3 favorites]
Can't start a fire
Can't start a fire without a stick
This gun's for hire
Even if I just punch 'em in the dick.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:15 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Can't start a fire without a stick
This gun's for hire
Even if I just punch 'em in the dick.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:15 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Baby this town rips the bones from your back
It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while yo' dick's crunched
'Cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to punch
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 2:22 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while yo' dick's crunched
'Cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to punch
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 2:22 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Aga-doo-doo-doo punch some dicks and name a cat
Aga-doo-doo-doo choose fedoras as a hat
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:52 PM on November 24, 2010
Aga-doo-doo-doo choose fedoras as a hat
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:52 PM on November 24, 2010
Lay a Hitler
On my pillow
Leave the winter
On the ground
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:09 PM on November 24, 2010
On my pillow
Leave the winter
On the ground
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:09 PM on November 24, 2010
When a comment leaves the site
Like a big pizza pie
Where was I going with this?
posted by moonmilk at 5:00 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
Like a big pizza pie
Where was I going with this?
posted by moonmilk at 5:00 PM on November 24, 2010 [1 favorite]
When a comment leaves the site
Like a big pizza pie
Where was I going with this?
It's no more, eh?
posted by amyms at 9:52 PM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
Like a big pizza pie
Where was I going with this?
It's no more, eh?
posted by amyms at 9:52 PM on November 24, 2010 [4 favorites]
It wasn't a comment but an askme, and it was before I signed up, but every time I see them on my cats, in my mind it goes like this: "Whoa man, did you ever notice that cats actually have whiskers on their legs? Or is it just my cat? So weird." and the answers are all in the vein of: "Yeah dude, that's like totally normal."
posted by moody cow at 2:14 AM on November 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by moody cow at 2:14 AM on November 25, 2010 [1 favorite]
The one that always pops into my head when I'm opening the fridge is Sean Connery misreading "Should I eat this?" as "She'll die at this" in part of an imagined SNL Celebrity Jeopardy sketch.
Sometimes when considering a drink I really enjoy (containing either alcohol or caffeine), diocletian's statement that it could be 90% orphan tears and I would still drink it comes to mind.
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:54 AM on November 28, 2010
Sometimes when considering a drink I really enjoy (containing either alcohol or caffeine), diocletian's statement that it could be 90% orphan tears and I would still drink it comes to mind.
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:54 AM on November 28, 2010
The other evening I was watching TV with the Lady Walrus and randomly started to crack up because I somehow thought of this epic comment from condor75 about Scipio's vagina.
posted by I am the Walrus at 11:02 AM on December 2, 2010
posted by I am the Walrus at 11:02 AM on December 2, 2010
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posted by axiom at 11:31 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]