Just wanted to respond to concerns here, rather than creating a derail in this thread.
Replying here because if the anon OP has seen the comment I am responding to, it might be more helpful than taking it private to Memail with the commenter.
posted by jbenben to Etiquette/Policy at 11:49 PM (18 comments total)
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questioned if I was "wired much" about the OP and their history of childhood abuse.
Not so much. But I was super duper concerned the OP was about to over-share with a group of people not clinically or therapeutically capable of handling the bulk of their history.
The OP is in a pretty fragile time in their process. I recognize it.
When the OP expresses they are worried certain family might respond by cutting off relations between themselves and children in the family over a discloser of previous childhood abuse - that's simply not the best head-space to be making decisions about "confessing."
Rather, it is a GREAT time to be talking about these issue with folks better versed in the intricacies of the OP's past!
The OP's follow-up
, their own therapists stance on the issue, and many others thought this wasn't a great time to be speaking up.
That said, it is REALLY difficult to remember and report on the myriad of nuances and pitfalls of a process I've undertaken a decade or more earlier. Hence the multiple follow-ups I posted there.
I don't feel the same way that the OP does now, but I do
remember that stage.
Over-sharing with folks who can't relate, or who or might relate poorly, never helps one progress past the trauma and heal. It just delays the Good Things in life you have coming to you once the work needed is completed.
Ditto that one can't really know what they should or should not be doing or saying until they've completed the work of processing and healing.
Do I wish I had been guided on this issue constructively back in my 20's and 30's?