Comments on: Trying to find an AskMe answer about what to do if you're swamped by the press/paparazzi.

Trying to find an AskMe answer about what to do if you're swamped by the press/paparazzi.

facehugger — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 21:37:43 -0800

Trying to find an AskMe answer about what to do if you're swamped by the press/paparazzi.

It was a very long answer, possibly a Best Of Metafilter, and one of the suggestions was to leave a building at 3 or 5 AM, because the press will be asleep outside the building. I know this sounds incredibly vague, but I've been trying to find it for over a year - I read it before I had a Metafilter account to add favorites in. Thank you!

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 23:47:58 -0800

Dahling, what I do is smile and turn my best side to the cameras.

By: Namlit

Namlit — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 00:08:14 -0800

The only thing I find is this, paparazzi misspelled...also likely not what you had in mind.

By: Dr Dracator

Dr Dracator — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 02:03:56 -0800

I occasionally punch one in the face, they love it and it helps keep up my rogueish image.

By: Splunge

Splunge — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 06:02:50 -0800

Two words: Ambien brownies.

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 06:16:46 -0800

eponysterical

By: hippybear

hippybear — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 06:42:45 -0800

Wigs, sunglasses, dressing down, and service entrances. That's always worked for me.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 06:50:50 -0800

You can do what Daniel Radcliffe did and ware the same outfit outside for six months so the photos couldn't be sold as ' new'

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 06:58:49 -0800

You can do what Daniel Radcliffe did and ware the same outfit outside for six months so the photos couldn't be sold as ' new'
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 AM on August 24 [+] [!]

Sweet! I've totally got that covered!

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 07:22:49 -0800

Are you sure that wasn't Albert Einstein? Oh, that story was fake. But he actually stuck his tongue out in exasperation at photographers! I learned two things today! Now I want to find pictures of dapper Einstein.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 07:41:07 -0800

Now I want to find pictures of dapper Einstein.

Not so hard.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 08:44:18 -0800

I'm sorry that I don't have a link to the answer, but I usually just flicker out of existence, leaving only my grin behind before it finally disappears. Then I flicker back into existence at Whole Foods, or wherever else I happen to be going. Whole Foods is just an example. I was just using that as an example because they have pretty good prices on cashews there. So you might consider rematerializing there to get some cashews (roasted, salted). They're a pretty good snack. Hope this helps.

By: crush-onastick

crush-onastick — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 08:52:37 -0800

I seem to remember this, too, facehugger, but a boring scroll through my favorites reveals that I either did not favorite or do not have the patience to truly scroll through my favorites.

By: juliplease

juliplease — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 09:20:13 -0800

The dos and don'ts of getting ambushed with a camera?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:20:52 -0800

Well that's all good advice if you're attacked by a roving documentary crew but what about when the press gets wind that you're at the Groucho Club off your mind on mushrooms with a blazer full of olives and no pants and they've begun to surround the building? What then?

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:43:03 -0800

Boy, do I hate when that happens.

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:29:49 -0800

Stay inside, obvs.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:31:55 -0800

But damian hirst will make me do more shots and I already can't see

By: maryr

maryr — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:40:48 -0800

Just show him something shiny. That ought to distract him.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 16:38:31 -0800

Look it's Jude law's forehead

Look how shiny

By: marsha56

marsha56 — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 22:33:50 -0800

I think I remember this too. Was it posted by someone who was a professional 'handler'. Someone rich people hire to make their problems go away or at least help them minimize them as much as possible. He was giving advice on what to do yourself if you're not lucky enough to be able to hire him. Does that sound like it?

By: marsha56

marsha56 — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 22:34:58 -0800

If this is it, I think it may have been on the blue in a thread where a public person was in a current scandal. Searching MeFi for 'handler' turns up 416 comments. Sigh...

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 05:29:21 -0800

(Cite for the radcliffe thing. Considering he's kind of huge dork I wouldn't be surprised if the idea came from the Einstein story.)

By: heatherann

heatherann — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 05:48:24 -0800

marsha56, you're thinking of this comment:

Dear Tiger Woods, Christopher Lee, Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Hugh Grant, Mark Sanford, and all other public figures who not only can't manage marital fidelity, but fail on a spectacularly public stage:

There are people for this. Sometimes we're called handlers. Or fixers. Body men. Executive assistants. Personal assistants.

It doesn't matter what title you use, but the job description is the same: we run interference between your squeaky-clean reputation, and all the nasty little peccadilloes that you simply can't stay away from which would otherwise ruin it.

...

We create labyrinthine layers between you and danger. The messier and nastier your compulsion, the more complex the layers and further removed you'll be. We know the wheres and hows of due diligence, alibis, pseudonyms, disposable phones, throwaway emails, and paper trail elimination. We drive non-descript cars. We have forgettable names and faces, although we remember everything. We have access to cash. We know which hotels have discreet staff, and which are never to be used. We know which of your habits need to take place in private facilities. Or other countries.

...

So make the call: your urge, or your career. If you can't give up the urge, hire a fixer. If you can't afford a fixer, give up the urge.

But you can't both satisfy the urge and succeed at the public career. You're not that clever, and you're too egotistical. You believe both that you can't possibly get caught... and that if you do, you can minimize the fallout. You're wrong on both counts. Stop embarrassing yourself, your family, and your constituents/fans.

Regards,
Every political aide in the history of time, back to Henry VIII and the Caesar dynasty

I don't think that's the one the OP is thinking of though, is it?

By: facehugger

facehugger — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 20:23:26 -0800

That's a fantastic post you found, heatherann, but no, it's not it. It was more on how to avoid the press than the people helping you avoid the press. I wish I could remember more details, but it was so long ago - it was one of the many amazing posts that convinced me to join Metafilter.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 20:31:27 -0800

Myabe someone should ask it again? What ARE the effective paparazzi avoiding tips?

Joesph Gordon-Levitt start starting filming then back if you recall.

By: msalt

msalt — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 00:05:48 -0800

Is it crucial to avoid them? Often the best approach is to be uninteresting, calm, boilerplate answers, or no answer with a friendly wave, walk on your way cheerfully. If it's simply an issue of too many interview requests, work out 2 or three clever responses to the most common questions (and they will be repeated ad nauseum) and just repeat them. Stay "on message." It feels canned but it works.

Or disguise yourself as a heavy set person of an obviously different race and gender, and let hilarity ensue. (Works best in lowbrow comedy movies)

By: msalt

msalt — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 00:06:28 -0800

Also, what did you do?!?!? You can tell us, there are no writers on MeFi.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 00:26:01 -0800

just look like a gross monster all the time, very effective.

By: pxe2000

pxe2000 — Sun, 26 Aug 2012 05:22:07 -0800

[derail]
So I saw that letter was addressed to Christopher Lee, thought you were referring to the monster-movie star Christopher Lee, got worried, clicked the link, realized it was a different man with the same name, and felt relief.
[/derail]