Tim Gunn reads Ask.Metafilter September 27, 2012 9:56 AM   Subscribe

Tim Gunn of Project Runaway fame finally provides the definitive answer to the question What color socks should I wear with brown shoes and blue jeans? in his new book, Tim Gunn's Fashion Bible.

On page 186, in his chapter on Hosiery:
I understand that it can be confusing [referring to what socks should be worn in what situation]. The MetaFilter message board question, "What color socks should I wear with brown shoes and blue jeans?" generated dozens of pieces of conflicting advice. A couple of posters suggested white. Others said: gray, black, tan, dark brown, orange, green, argyle, or navy. No wonder men tend to throw their hands up when faced with this kind of fashion conundrum!
So, what's the rule of thumb? Some say you should always match your socks to your shoes. Others say you should always match your socks to your pants. The correct answer is pants. And so in the case of jeans and browns shoes, I would go with navy socks.


i_am_joe's_spleen, riviera, mattr, Melinika, Doohickie, Jonasio, and Specklet, you are all winners.
posted by Stynxno to MetaFilter-Related at 9:56 AM (178 comments total) 67 users marked this as a favorite

I would love to think Tim Gunn reads MetaFilter. I think it's more likely that his ghostwriter does.
posted by Jahaza at 9:57 AM on September 27, 2012 [9 favorites]


Even the Tim Gunn Stamp of Approval™ is worth celebrating! Woohoo!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:05 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I love Tim Gunn SO MUCH and now I am all HI TIM GUNN while I wave at my computer monitor.
posted by kate blank at 10:09 AM on September 27, 2012 [32 favorites]


I'm waiting for the shoutout from CFDA-Lifetime-Achievement-Award-Winner Michael Kors.


"Hi everyone."


"Hi Michael.

posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 10:31 AM on September 27, 2012 [18 favorites]


I haven't watched Project Runway for a while, but if Tim Gunn told me I was wearing the right suit, you might as well bury me in it right there -- not because my life would have hit its apex but because I would probably never wear anything else.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:33 AM on September 27, 2012 [25 favorites]


Just wanted to pull this gem out of RL's great story for emphasis: "...and he smells incredible."

He would, wouldn't he?
posted by supercres at 10:34 AM on September 27, 2012 [9 favorites]


I'm sorry, but Tim Gunn is wrong. The answer is pink socks.

The answer is always pink socks.

What is wrong with you people.
posted by phunniemee at 10:38 AM on September 27, 2012 [13 favorites]


Rodrigo Lamaitre: "Tim Gunn is a really nice, friendly guy and he smells incredible."

My wife and I discussed this one night: I was thinking something rich and herbal. She believed he would be light and floral. After a half-hour or so, we realized he's probably got a walk-in closet full of aftershaves and bespoke deodorants.
posted by boo_radley at 10:39 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


I must admit I purchased Gunn's Golden Rules, and though it only took about an hour to read the whole thing, it was unfailingly fun and good-natured, and I am glad to own it.
posted by Glinn at 10:42 AM on September 27, 2012


I was thinking something rich and herbal. She believed he would be light and floral.

Apparently it's more like dog poop and cauliflower.
posted by ottereroticist at 10:42 AM on September 27, 2012


ottereroticist: "Apparently it's more like dog poop and cauliflower."

I have so much to learn.
posted by boo_radley at 10:52 AM on September 27, 2012


There are so many answers in that askme that should've been deleted. Hail mods!

My go-to socks for brown shoes and jeans are reused yarn socks from Muji.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 10:58 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey, I live in the building where the people in Project Runway live while they are shooting the show. Unfortunately, I have yet to see Tim Gunn in the elevator.
posted by Grither at 11:01 AM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


OK before reading any spoilers at all (including the comments in this thread) I'll just put it out there: I wear light gray socks with brown leather shoes and denim blue jeans.
posted by carsonb at 11:04 AM on September 27, 2012


I've always thought that if people are so bored by your conversation that they're even looking at your socks, then the color of your socks is the least of your problems.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:06 AM on September 27, 2012 [11 favorites]


*reading*

Pfft!
posted by carsonb at 11:06 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


And yet, I do try to color-coordinate my socks with my outfit somehow.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:07 AM on September 27, 2012


Brown... shoes?

Why would you...

I don't...
posted by griphus at 11:09 AM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


The real question is black pants with brown shoes: summary executions or reeducation camps?
posted by elizardbits at 11:11 AM on September 27, 2012 [21 favorites]


In my dream world, Tim Gunn runs for president in 2016 and wins by the greatest landslide in history. He is magic (and his was-it-or-wasn't-it Vivian Vance anecdote is awesome).
posted by scody at 11:13 AM on September 27, 2012 [7 favorites]


I always thought socks were supposed to transition pants to shoes? So jeans to brown shoes you'd obviously wants socks that were bravy. Or nown.
posted by Grither at 11:13 AM on September 27, 2012 [13 favorites]


The real question is black pants with brown shoes: summary executions or reeducation camps?

Death's too good for 'em.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:13 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ooh, I really hope that Tim Gunn is a Mefite.
posted by amro at 11:17 AM on September 27, 2012


While maybe not exactly the most sensitive thing he's ever said, Tim admonishing Fabio to metaphorically "bitchslap that bitch" the other week was maybe the funniest thing that's happened in the Workroom since Andre's perfect Tim Gunn impression several years back.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:20 AM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


I shouldn't judge, though. I once showed up to a party wearing grey drainpipe jeans, a short-sleeved gray button-down with epaulettes and what I can only describe as men's booties. I looked a prison escapee from a made-up Soviet Bloc country in an 80s spy farce.
posted by griphus at 11:21 AM on September 27, 2012 [4 favorites]


White anklets. With pom-poms.
posted by ardgedee at 11:21 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Brown shoes don't make it, folks.
posted by cmoj at 11:24 AM on September 27, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm wearing jeans with brown loafers today. With black socks. I hate myself now.
posted by COD at 11:25 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


To save you an AskMe, COD: Sharpies will work on leather long enough for you to find a tantō and commit seppuku.
posted by griphus at 11:28 AM on September 27, 2012 [4 favorites]


Brown is so confusing, particularly if you already wear a lot of black. I just avoid it entirely.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:29 AM on September 27, 2012 [7 favorites]


you guys are RONG and brown shoes are awesome (but tan suits, olive suits, black suits, wtf?).
posted by subtle-t at 11:32 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have a cute pair of brown and tan spectators but I have a special dispensation.
posted by elizardbits at 11:32 AM on September 27, 2012


I love Tim Gunn, and think he is all kinds of awesome.

But after thinking about this question, the answer is obviously NO socks at all (because the brown shoes you are going to wear with jeans are probably topsiders, and that's the look you're going for).
posted by misha at 11:32 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm not down with all this hipster brown shoe hate. You are wrong.

Wait, so it's hipsters who hate brown shoes?

omg I think a hipster just exploded somewhere
posted by phunniemee at 11:34 AM on September 27, 2012


Socks should never be worn with topsiders. Never.
posted by COD at 11:34 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, can I wear spats, but no shoes or socks? It's sort of an really retro fashion choice, but I think I can pull it off.
posted by griphus at 11:35 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


only if they are made of hair and you are a hobbit.
posted by elizardbits at 11:37 AM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


WTF is up with the hate for brown shoes? Brown is versatile, less heavy-looking than black, and, when made from good materials, can have a great warmth and depth of color. Team Brown!

The correct sock is lace ruffle.
posted by DrGirlfriend at 11:42 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or if you have duck feet.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:46 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


because the brown shoes you are going to wear with jeans are probably topsiders, and that's the look you're going for

nonononono (where's that damn russian cat video when you need it?)

"Brown shoes" are versatile and lumping them all together into such a dismissive term is nigh heretical. Plenty of "brown shoes" go great with jeans:
-suede bluchers
-chukka boots
-a nice pair of brogues
-a plain cap-toe oxford

These are all "brown shoes" and you can wear any of them with jeans.

With brown socks, though, because seriously people.
posted by backseatpilot at 11:47 AM on September 27, 2012


I like a nice pair of orangey argyles with brown shoes, actually. There is one dude in my office who consistently Does It Right, and I recently learned it was because he lets his 5 year old daughter pick out his socks every day.
posted by elizardbits at 11:49 AM on September 27, 2012 [33 favorites]


I could totally see Tim Gunn surfing Metafilter, it would be right up his alley.

(Brown shoes rock, and as for socks, there is nothing better than when an old gent in a sports coat and flannel trousers sits down and you see that he's wearing bright red or yellow or green socks, like a boss.)
posted by sallybrown at 11:55 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


White socks are an abomination.

That is all. All other sock sins are forgivable.
posted by Sara C. at 12:00 PM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


Socks that match your shoes, or match your pants? I'm lucky if they match each other.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:00 PM on September 27, 2012 [10 favorites]


Look, I live in Canada and winter is coming. So for my purposes, the question should be:

Which should I wear with blue snow pants and brown (but really kinda a greyish-browny colour after you account for the slush, mud, and road salt stains) mukluks - grey wool socks or black battery operated socks? Also, which colour toque goes best with frostbite?
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:01 PM on September 27, 2012 [10 favorites]


I figure at that point you just start stuffing small mammals in your boots to keep warm.

So, to answer your question, brown.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:03 PM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


I always wear socks with my topsiders. Heavy wool socks, in fact. I sail on San Francisco Bay, and it's really cold out there. For the record, right now I am wearing navy blue topsiders, navy/gray/green argyle smartwools, and dark jeans. Boat leaves the dock at 4pm Pacific time.
posted by gyusan at 12:04 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


i wanna go on a boat adventure
posted by elizardbits at 12:06 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


backseatpilot: "I figure at that point you just start stuffing small mammals in your boots to keep warm.

So, to answer your question, brown
"

Or grey, squirrels work well.

Unless you're in Toronto, where the squirrels are black. Then black.

And the best toque to match frostbite (whoa. whoa whoa whoa. Toque no longer gets the red squigglies in firefox?! Is Mozilla Canadian or something?!) would be blotchy black/red.
posted by Grither at 12:08 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've been doing this for years. But without the smug satisfaction of knowing I was right.

Until now.
posted by tommasz at 12:09 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


-suede bluchers

Had to.
posted by phunniemee at 12:11 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


White socks are an abomination.

Nope. What do you wear with your running shoes? I also wear little white socks with my Chucks, like the good Lord wants us to.

I'm trying to break my brown shoes fear - I started with a pair of bad ass Lucchese boots, ankle-height, so you won't really see my socks.
posted by ersatzkat at 12:25 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


tim gunn is a fascinating man. i wish he were less famous or famous for something else so he could be more himself and less a caricature of himself. also, i would love to hear the long version of the story about his first love that led to him being celibate for the last 30 years. i guess what i'm saying is that i wish tim gunn was my best friend (except, i'd have to throw out all of my clothes and come with a whole new wardrobe and who needs that kind of pressure??).
posted by nadawi at 12:32 PM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


Look, I live in Canada and winter is coming. So for my purposes, the question should be:

Does Winterfell have a Tim Hortons?
posted by zamboni at 12:32 PM on September 27, 2012 [14 favorites]


What do you wear with your running shoes?

I'm a renegade and wear non-running socks with my running shoes. They are still sort of athletic-esque below-the-anke socks, but just not those "especially for runners" ones. Maybe if I start training for a marathon I will switch to the special socks, but for my sad experiments with Couch To 5K, I can mostly wear whatever socks I want. And I do not want to wear white socks.

Why do athletic companies make white socks? I would happily pay an extra $1 for a black or blue or purple or orange running sock.
posted by Sara C. at 12:38 PM on September 27, 2012


Why do athletic companies make white socks? I would happily pay an extra $1 for a black or blue or purple or orange running sock.

Just checked - Google's not broken! :)
posted by ersatzkat at 12:42 PM on September 27, 2012


Not just gray socks, gray ragg wool socks. Especially if the brown shoes are oiled Dansko closed-back clogs.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 12:48 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Yes, but notice all those socks come in a white option.

Why?

Why do white socks exist? Everyone knows they are inferior.
posted by Sara C. at 12:51 PM on September 27, 2012


The answer is always pink socks.
Well, one does want a hint of color...

My thought process for finding socks to wear goes like this...
1. Look for pair of clean socks that roughly match my pants (dark for jeans, white for shorts). No?
2. Look for pair of clean socks that match each other. No?
3. Look for two clean socks that are the same color. No?
4. Look for clean socks. No?
5. Say fuck it, and wear sandals, throwing all previously unmatched socks back into sock drawer for tomorrow's game of WHERE'S MY SOCKS?
posted by ApathyGirl at 12:53 PM on September 27, 2012 [10 favorites]


You must have very tiny feet!
posted by Grither at 12:57 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


White socks are an abomination.

That is all. All other sock sins are forgivable.


I distinctly remember Eno being interviewed ca. 1979 (Trouser Press, New York Rocker, NME -- can't recall). At one point the writer describes him rhapsodizing over Off The Wall, while dancing with the album cover so that Michael Jackson's glowing white socks also danced across the room. (Mind you, this may not have been as much of a landmark as the [unillustrated] CREEM feature where Eno posed nude for some test shots for Viva, but it was a real interview.)

In short: God Loves White Socks. Deal with it.
posted by maudlin at 1:01 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


no! my ex-wife thinks so too! and she wears a size 12!

I say this with love, with reverence, and as a person who worked in retail and knew when the trucks came in - your ex-wife has drag-queen feet.
posted by ersatzkat at 1:03 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Michael Jackson is the only person in history who could get away with white socks.

And he is dead now.

So.
posted by Sara C. at 1:20 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wait, people don't like brown shoes? Do you wear only black shoes? Do you wear only sneakers? I mean, what do you wear with khakis or brown pants? I mean, don't wear them to the opera, but brown shoes really seem like they have a place.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:23 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


The answer is that your socks should not match each other in color. More fun that way!
posted by annsunny at 1:27 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


I mean, what do you wear with khakis or brown pants?

I don't wear either! Over the years, not having shoes to go with such bottoms and vice versa has cut them out of my wardrobe entirely.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:32 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


The answer is that your socks should not match each other in color. More fun that way!

Mine don't match; and the funny thing is, I have another pair exactly like them at home!
posted by TedW at 1:39 PM on September 27, 2012


I bought hiking socks at REI a while ago, which were great when I was hiking. But recently I found myself without any clean socks (god I can be so lazy when it comes to laundry) and I thought "fuck it! wool socks in September in Texas is my punishment for being lazy!" and pulled them on before I left the house to go to work.

Oh. My. God.

Those socks (which are really snug, like maybe they have lyrcra or elastic or something in them?) are amazing. It was like being hugged all day. You know those "thundershirt" compression garments that are supposed to calm dogs down? It was like I was wearing one of those. I wandered around with a daffy grin on my face all day long, and it was beautiful. Now I need to figure out a way to incorporate them into my daily life.
posted by jph at 1:41 PM on September 27, 2012 [7 favorites]


when you wear little white socks, your feet look kind of like a cat's paws. so that's nice.
You must have very tiny feet!


Or a very large cat.
posted by Jahaza at 1:46 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I wandered around with a daffy grin on my face all day long, and it was beautiful. Now I need to figure out a way to incorporate them into my daily life.

Smartwool and other socks like them truly are a miracle.

But who am I to talk, I have five pairs of yellow socks and five pairs of orange socks and one pair of yellow and orange striped socks and five pairs of white athletic socks and whatever random socks the Cabot Hoisery Sale has to offer during their annual sale. Also the two pairs of shoes I wear most often are brown. I am okay not winning any fashion awards, I have shit to do.

and one of those brown pair are Crocs!
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:46 PM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


If my house were on fire, I'd grab my cats and my Smartwool socks.
posted by desjardins at 1:51 PM on September 27, 2012


We cannot stop talking about footware in this site.
posted by The Whelk at 1:52 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


That is because prolly almost all of us have feets.
posted by elizardbits at 1:54 PM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


Pfft. You haven't worn socks until you've worn knee high Merino-Cashmere-Nylon socks custom fit to your feet and calves.

Mine are varying shades of teal and green and they go with every color of shoes.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:54 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Bulgaroktonos: Wait, people don't like brown shoes? Do you wear only black shoes?

Yup. My wardrobe is designed to all match with blacks and greys. I eliminated brown almost entirely about 10 years ago and I never looked back. Best sartorial decision I ever made. I do have one pair of casual khaki-like brownish pants, but my black shoes go with them just fine.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:56 PM on September 27, 2012


Dear MetaFilter,

I need a pair of comfortable walking shoes. Snowflakes: must be brown, made of smartwool, give the appearance of cat feet. And appropriate for a festive-casual nighttime beach wedding to which I am wearing a green dress.

TIA!
posted by phunniemee at 1:57 PM on September 27, 2012 [9 favorites]


Wacky wild-card solution -- wear boots. Either with pants or long skirts (if you're female). That way no one will even see your socks in the first place so you can wear whatever.

(I have totally worn mismatched tube socks to work this way. I apparently am only brave enough to stick it to the man in very minor ways.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:58 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


Last year I finally got around to returning a Christmas present (a rather expensive one) to REI at the end of winter and they had all the wool socks on sale, both Smartwool and Wigwam 50% silk and 50% wool. I blew about $60 of my credit in a sock frenzy. My life has been about 8.5% better over all with the addition of these fine socks to my wardrobe.

The silk/wool combos have to be worn to be believed.
posted by readery at 2:08 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


you people are going to make me buy a pair of chukka boots aren;t you?
posted by The Whelk at 2:09 PM on September 27, 2012


Does Winterfell have a Tim Hortons?

It did but then Roose Bolton had the morning shift flayed alive when he found out that the Greyjoys had made off with all the timbits. It is now a burnt-out husk smelling faintly of bad coffee.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:09 PM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


And Tim Gunn is like a household saint at our house.
posted by readery at 2:09 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Have you ever played the thought game of "if I had kids and was to suddenly die, which celebrity would I want to raise them?"

Tim Gunn is my answer most of the time.

Socks: I tend to buy the crazy argyle/stripes/polka dot socks that go on sale every few weeks at Target. They make me happy.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:14 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


I get that some people might choose not to wear brown shoes; I was referring to the absolute incredulity about anyone wearing brown shoes. Brown is, for men at least, at worst the second most common color of non-sneakers shoes; it's not crazy.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:14 PM on September 27, 2012


cmoj: Brown shoes don't make it, folks.

After looking at your profile picture, I have to say that my confidence in your ability to give 100% dead-on A-list fashion advice is not very high.

(Full disclosure: I'm currently wearing khaki pants, dark green argyle socks, and brown wingtips. My shirt is bright yellow with vertical stripes. Tim Gunn would have a seizure)
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 2:26 PM on September 27, 2012


HI TIM GUNN! WE LOVE YOU!!!
posted by mochapickle at 2:28 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]



I'm trying to break my brown shoes fear - I started with a pair of bad ass Lucchese boots,
posted by ersatzkat



I have bad ass boot envy. Nice choice!
posted by toastedbeagle at 2:29 PM on September 27, 2012


Bad ass brown boots.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:32 PM on September 27, 2012


We cannot stop talking about footware in this site.

In the future, the Wiki will note that this was the month that the site transitioned into a footware discussion forum.
posted by Area Man at 2:33 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


MetaFoot
posted by Area Man at 2:37 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


That's pretty racist. Asses can be all kinds of shades of brown.
posted by phunniemee at 2:37 PM on September 27, 2012


It was not overwhelming; it was just there, pleasant, and gone the second he was. [emphasis added]

OMG CAN HE PLEASE COME TEACH EVERYBODY AROUND ME THIS SKILL

I am completely unqualified to offer fashionable shoe advice, considering I basically live in my FiveFingers except when I feel like going really minimal.
posted by Lexica at 2:43 PM on September 27, 2012


I'm trying to break my brown shoes fear - I started with a pair of bad ass Lucchese boots,
posted by ersatzkat

I have bad ass boot envy. Nice choice!


They're these'ns, and I love them so hard. I stalked them for more than a year and my lovely husband finally turned them up in my perfectly reasonable size 7.5 (throws side eye at liketitanic's ex). They have the tiniest bit of turquoise stitching, so it's like I have a happy secret on my feets.
posted by ersatzkat at 2:58 PM on September 27, 2012


Does Winterfell have a Tim Hortons?

Coffee is coming.
posted by never used baby shoes at 3:08 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Iced Coffee is coming!
posted by ericb at 3:10 PM on September 27, 2012


Brown shoes are my favorites, especially on guys (though more for casual shoes than dress shoes). So there.
posted by small_ruminant at 3:21 PM on September 27, 2012


ericb: "Iced Coffee is coming!"

And since it's winter, it'll probably have nutmeg in it.
posted by boo_radley at 3:51 PM on September 27, 2012


The correct answer is pants.

What does have against the correct answer?
posted by brundlefly at 4:05 PM on September 27, 2012


He. What does HE have against... *sigh*
posted by brundlefly at 4:08 PM on September 27, 2012


Wacky wild-card solution -- wear boots. Either with pants or long skirts (if you're female). That way no one will even see your socks in the first place so you can wear whatever.

This is generally my opinion as well, at least until I attended a birthday party at a sub-subletted house in the City which required the removal of my fancy Corso Como black suede boots (around which I built my evening's habiliment) and exposed my shlubby, forest green, knee-high wool boot socks. Now I am more careful about socks and boots.
posted by oneirodynia at 4:43 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


I only own white athletic socks. My pants legs are never long enough for anyone to see what color they are anyway.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:48 PM on September 27, 2012


Tim Gunn is also academic.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:14 PM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]




OMG CAN HE PLEASE COME TEACH EVERYBODY AROUND ME THIS SKILL

The trick with scent is that you're aiming for about a two-three foot radius at most with it. With really expensive and high quality scents (I favor Black Phoenix Alchemy Labs) it's pretty easy to accomplish, but with cheaper, CVS and suchlike brands it often fades quickly and gets a medicinal edge (I just checked my BPAL scented wrists and I still smell like melted chocolate some six hours after putting it on).

With spray scents the trick is always to spray once or twice in the air in front of you and then step into the cloud. Many people make the mistake of spraying themselves; the only time I've gotten away with this was when I sprayed a very simple scent into my hair and brushed most of it out, and even then it was too strong for me personally.

With liquid, I always hit the pulse points, but halve it on the arms (i.e. put the scent on both wrists, then rub the wrists on the opposing inner elbow) because that's the part of the body most likely to be in close proximity to someone else's nose, and you want to not overwhelm them.

All of this is complicated, of course, with how scented lotions and shampoos are; I run into problems coordinating my taste for complicated scents with other necessary products like deoderant and shampoo. I wish more things came unscented; one of my "if I were ever hit by the make your own stuff bug" dreams is to make my own soap, lotion, shampoo, conditioner, and deoderant so I can scent them all myf avorite bpal scents. Hee hee.
posted by Deoridhe at 5:15 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am on vacation an looking at amazing rocks and I basically look like I stepped out of an REI catalogue, but I'm absurdly happy that Tim Gunn and/or his ghostposter reads this site.
posted by rtha at 5:43 PM on September 27, 2012


Blast, I thought the answer is TAWNY.
posted by cobaltnine at 5:45 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Tim Gunn lives two blocks from me. I see him around the neighborhood with regularity, and I am always secretly thrilled. A few things I can tell you (and yes, just call me a creepy stalker).
1. He takes the subway. I was on the train with him last year.
2. He is almost always impeccably dressed. But I have seen him twice in non-suit wear. The first time was at 8am at the local bagel shop in summer time. He was wearing crazy Brooks Brother patchwork pants, a pink button down, and leather thongs. Yes, TG had exposed toes. The second time he was wearing artfully distressed designer jeans and a half zip fleece. I was with my partner (who I struggle to keep dressed respectably) and there was 30 minutes of ensuing "conversation" about why it was okay for TG to wear ripped jeans, but not my partner (who resents that I won't let him leave the house in jeans with the ass and/or thighs ripped out).
3. We were having breakfast at the diner, and TG and his PA walked in. I was very relieved to see that he ordered bacon, eggs, and toast, rather than grapefruit or muesli.
posted by kimdog at 5:55 PM on September 27, 2012 [14 favorites]


My pants legs are never long enough for anyone to see what color they are anyway.

You can see what color they are. Don't you deserve better than white socks?
posted by Sara C. at 5:58 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is a slight against the no pants wearing community.
posted by found missing at 6:31 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I think everyone here has missed the boat. It doesn't matter what your socks look like--so long as they're hand knit. Seriously, hand knit socks have changed my life. I love them so much.
posted by MeghanC at 7:35 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


My take on the socks question is that Tim Gunn is right if you have to ask the question in the first place. It takes a brave man to pull off orange, or pink, or purple socks. Some men can, and those guys aren't asking questions about whether they should try.
posted by padraigin at 7:55 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


I threw out every last pair of my socks and replaced them all with Smartwool. No kidding. It was expensive but so worth it. I hope whoever invented Smartwool socks is getting filthy rich, they totally deserve it.

Also, Smartwool long undies are the best. But Smartwool hats and scarves are lame.
posted by HotToddy at 8:10 PM on September 27, 2012


The only non-athletic socks I own are handknits in funky colors.

I wish I still owned clogs. I don't actually have shoes for socks any more - just that I wear with tights or no socks (this being Atlanta and me being not much for the pantyhose).
posted by catlet at 8:10 PM on September 27, 2012


As if I needed another reason to love Tim Gunn. : )

I've met him a couple times, both at book signings. He really is as delightful as you'd think he'd be.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:37 PM on September 27, 2012


and one of those brown pair are Crocs!

Flagged for breaking the guidelines.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:34 PM on September 27, 2012 [8 favorites]


A guy matches his socks to his pants.

A gentleman matches his socks to his mood.
posted by ODiV at 9:41 PM on September 27, 2012 [9 favorites]


Or if you have duck feet.

I wish that I had duck feet. And I can tell you why. You can splash around in duck feet. You don't have to keep them dry. I wish that I had duck feet. No more shoes! No shoes for me! The man down at the shoe store would not have my size, you see. If I had two duck feet, I could laugh at Big Bill Brown. I would say, "YOU don't have the right color socks for your brown shoes and denim jeans! They'll laugh you out of town!"

with due apologies to "Theo. LeSieg", aka Theodor Seuss Geisel
posted by davejay at 9:45 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


A guy matches his socks to his pants.

A gentleman matches his socks to his mood.


I just received a gift of vividly-colored bright socks; boy, am I glad I'm a gentleman!
posted by davejay at 9:46 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


My Cool Project Runway Story:

Michael Kors actually walked up to my wife in a bar here in Los Angeles to tell her she looked fantastic* wearing a Michael Kors outfit.

*My wife looks fantastic regardless of what she's wearing, but she was very flattered just the same.
posted by GatorDavid at 12:21 AM on September 28, 2012 [15 favorites]


My thought process for finding socks to wear goes like this...
1. Look for pair of clean socks that roughly match my pants (dark for jeans, white for shorts). No?
2. Look for pair of clean socks that match each other. No?
3. Look for two clean socks that are the same color. No?
4. Look for clean socks. No?
5. Say fuck it, and wear sandals, throwing all previously unmatched socks back into sock drawer for tomorrow's game of WHERE'S MY SOCKS?


Oh oh oh! I have a solution to this problem!

I have TWO sock drawers right next to each other. When socks come out of the wash, if the paired sock is right there, they get rolled together and go into the first drawer. But if the matching sock is not immediately apparent, I open the second drawer. If the other sock is in there, then they go back into the first drawer together, but if not, the orphan waits in the second drawer until next time I do the washing. This way only truly lost socks remain orphans for more than a couple of weeks.
posted by lollusc at 1:46 AM on September 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


Mm, yes, unless they have already mutated into clotheshangers, rubberbands, paperclips or dried-up ballpoint pens.

I *did* manage to persuade one to re-transform once, but that depleted all the rechargeable batteries in the house at one go. And blew the fuses. But they were my favorite black socks with goldfish,
posted by likeso at 2:40 AM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


- hey, why are there guys in white uniforms knocking at the door?
posted by likeso at 2:42 AM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metafilter is in my subconscious:

This morning, without even realizing it (because who is actually thinking about what clothes they are putting on at 5:50am?!), I put on a pair of jeans, NAVY SOCKS, and brown shoes.

Thank you, Metafilter, for saving my fashionless butt.
posted by Grither at 3:50 AM on September 28, 2012


My main problem with this is that I can't actually tell the difference between blue and black at 7:00AM and have more than once shown up at work with one sock of each color on. But then I work in a software shop where a typical outfit is: Jorts, a ten year old threadbare gaming convention black t-shirt, Birkenstocks and gray wool socks.
posted by octothorpe at 4:06 AM on September 28, 2012




Jeans, brown cap-toe oxfords, and some dark gray socks.
posted by Area Man at 4:51 AM on September 28, 2012


My pants legs are never long enough for anyone to see what color they are anyway.

You can see what color they are. Don't you deserve better than white socks?


Regular socks won't stay up and are uncomfy (I have fat little legs.) I have these ultracomfy Sam's Club anklet white socks that are my staple. Fancier shoes get hose or bare feet.

(If someone wants me stylish someone needs to design clothes for short fat folk. And then sell them at Penneys.)
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 5:00 AM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Rock Steady: maybe the funniest thing that's happened in the Workroom since Andre's perfect Tim Gunn impression several years back.

So, watching the upcoming Project Runway All-Stars promo last night made me instantly realize that it was not Andrae (whose name I didn't even spell right) who did the Tim Gunn impression, but the great Santino who created a whole little delightful relationship between Tim and Andrae. Sorry Santino! I'll take you out to Red Lobster sometime to make it up to you.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:49 AM on September 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


Oh that's me to a tee, EmpressCallipygos. I hand them from the rim of the laundry basket, then chairs, then lay them out on the bed, and scrutinize them like a forensic scientist. I am bitterly disappointed when there is an odd number.
posted by Mister_A at 8:50 AM on September 28, 2012


In my case, I just think the fact that David Tennant owns days-of-the-week socks makes him exponentially that much more adorable.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:57 AM on September 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


Damn. My love for Tim Gunn knows no bounds, which means I have to completely rethink my sock-wearing regimen. I always thought I needed to match my socks to my shoes, if not in color, then in relative tone. This is my typical work shoe (in black when wearing black or grey slacks, and in brown when wearing jeans or brown or khaki/green slacks). I am ashamed to admit -- I have NO BLUE SOCKS. *sob* Thank $deity I read this thread before initiating my plan to stalk the heck out of TG.

Off to buy navy socks!


Full disclosure: today I am wearing jeans with Pumas. You can't be a professional ALL of the time.
posted by blurker at 9:05 AM on September 28, 2012


I'm not quite at the days of the week socks stage but I have been selecting socks with more distinctive markings to cut down on sock-sorting time and frustration. And, like David Tennant, I am pretty adorable.
posted by Mister_A at 9:05 AM on September 28, 2012


Wow I just read the post again - Tim Gunn has a chapter on hosiery. That is amazing!
posted by Mister_A at 9:11 AM on September 28, 2012


I buy brown socks, grey socks, and navy socks in gigantic packages from BJ's. Makes sorting and folding easier. I get up at 5:30 and the wife gets up at 6:00, so this time of year, it's largely a crap-shoot what color I grab from the dresser drawer, as it's dark in that part of the room.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:14 AM on September 28, 2012


Mister_A: If you've also got Superman-themed Converse All-Stars, a Yoda t-shirt and a sonic screwdriver, let's talk.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:15 AM on September 28, 2012


I own exactly one pair of white socks. They are knee-high and to be worn only with black Mary Janes and a red plaid skirt on very special occasions.

I used to wear white athletic socks for working out, but now my main form of exercise is cycling, where we get to wear outrageously colorful wool socks (with black lycra shorts!) with impunity. It's entirely possible that the socks are part of what drew me to cycling.
posted by rhiannonstone at 9:27 AM on September 28, 2012


I want Tim Gunn to be my dad.
posted by cooker girl at 9:33 AM on September 28, 2012


Aww. Metafilter is wearing Dutch Suit Supply suits.
I feel so connected to you guys!
posted by joost de vries at 9:46 AM on September 28, 2012


joost: do you just call them "Suit Supply suits"?
posted by boo_radley at 10:23 AM on September 28, 2012


Ehm. Not really. Just shorthand for suits I buy at a store with that name.
posted by joost de vries at 10:55 AM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


My next secret quonsar gift: WHITE ATHLETIC SOCK 3-PACK!
posted by Zed at 2:08 PM on September 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


You'd be surprised (or maybe not, given all the strong opinions in this thread) how many of the Quonsee wishlists include socks.
posted by phunniemee at 2:14 PM on September 28, 2012


I've bought at least one quonsee socks.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:38 PM on September 28, 2012


Oh oh oh! I have a solution to this problem!

I have TWO sock drawers right next to each other. When socks come out of the wash, if the paired sock is right there, they get rolled together and go into the first drawer. But if the matching sock is not immediately apparent, I open the second drawer. If the other sock is in there, then they go back into the first drawer together, but if not, the orphan waits in the second drawer until next time I do the washing. This way only truly lost socks remain orphans for more than a couple of weeks.


I have tried to do this, but I often end up wearing mismatched orphans, or if I let them sit too long I start to feel bad for them.
I've taken to matching my socks up before I wash them, and leaving the orphans in a separate laundry bag in the corner of my closet so as to minimize the emotional distress.
As an added bonus, when my washer/dryer eats my a sock now, I'm all "J'ACCUSE!!!!!" and then the people in the laundry room back slowly away from the dryer and I get done much faster than before.
posted by ApathyGirl at 2:39 PM on September 28, 2012 [7 favorites]


I like a nice pair of orangey argyles with brown shoes, actually. There is one dude in my office who consistently Does It Right, and I recently learned it was because he lets his 5 year old daughter pick out his socks every day.

Aww. My dad let me pick out his shirt/tie combos when I was little.
posted by sweetkid at 2:46 PM on September 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


tim gunn in oscar's trashcan.
posted by nadawi at 3:16 PM on September 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


For men (and others on the butcher end of the spectrum), the best possible choice with brown shoes is lavender socks.

I am dead serious about this.

Lavender is this magical, subtle-but-eye catching neutral, and it brings out luscious, warm notes in almost any shade of brown. Because it's so effective, so unexpected, and because of the subtle hint of genderfuck that it encodes, it can be utterly devastating.

A properly deployed pair of lavender socks makes their wearer look like he's working, sartorially, on some crazy, inaccessible, magical level that has more to do with hierophanies and Diophantine conjectures than with the sad load of stripes and argyles that the rest of us puny mortals might lug home from The Gap.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:40 PM on September 28, 2012 [14 favorites]


Wait, wearing lavender socks makes one butch?

*Takes notes, opens a google search tab*

This may be the only butch thing I'm ever able to pull off.
posted by Sara C. at 5:42 PM on September 28, 2012


Man, I haven't watched Project Runway in so long. Probably not since that season with Santino and Andrae. (Well, I saw the season with Christian. I don't remember if that was the same one.) I'm really tempted to spend my evening watching it.
posted by hoyland at 5:47 PM on September 28, 2012


Sara C.---

No, no, because you need an element of of genderfuck to create the effect! You have to sort of surround the not-so-butch lavender with other butch (or at least dandyish) things in order to produce the breathtakingly awesome effect I am trying to describe.

I think.

I haven't really made a study of how lavender socks work in a more femme context. Maybe I should.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:49 PM on September 28, 2012


Dammit.

But if I wear them with brogues and trousers of some kind? Maybe? I can pull off brogues and trousers. I just can't pull off, like, ties and cufflinks and buzzed hair.
posted by Sara C. at 5:59 PM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


They will look glorious with brogues and trousers. Hand to heaven.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:11 PM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I strive to only wear Cayce Pollard Units.
posted by bendy at 6:13 PM on September 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


(I just checked my BPAL scented wrists and I still smell like melted chocolate some six hours after putting it on).

Now I want to know what BPAL you're wearing.

I'm a Sock Dreams kind of gal myself. Preferably with interesting patterns you can see through my t-straps or mary janes or not see under my jeans. I suspect I would not be Tim Gunn approved, though.
posted by immlass at 8:16 PM on September 28, 2012


I normally wear topsiders, so I follow the rule Misha quoted.

If I did wear socks, they would follow the underwear rule: Always wear the least practical underwear you can find, as long as it's comfortable. Because why the hell not?
posted by Mad_Carew at 8:19 PM on September 28, 2012


Project Runaway?
posted by yellowcandy at 8:22 PM on September 28, 2012


Project Run Away
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:21 PM on September 28, 2012


I enjoy buying (and of course wearing) ridiculous socks. My absolute favorite pair are heavily discounted official Girl Scout socks - bright Girl Scout green knee highs. I wish I could buy more, but I'm not in stores with official Girl Scout apparel all that often.

I'm of a belief that there are small ways to have fun with routine purchases that are quirky, but would be borderline creepy in a larger context. For example, I enjoy purchasing children's bandaids. If I get a papercut or a blister at work, I'm going to feel much better about covering it with an adorable Hello Kitty bandaid. Socks are like that. But as cute as that sort of thing is, I find it really weird when people have, say, Winnie The Pooh checks. You're old enough to have checks! Why do they have Piglet, or any other pig, on them? (Unless you work at a daycare. Or a charcuterie. But not both, that's just creepy.)
posted by maryr at 10:40 PM on September 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


In my opinion, if there is no clear answer, the answer is always red.
posted by thylacinthine at 4:07 AM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I kinda already knew this as your ankles are part of your legs, not your feet. So you wear socks that match your pants not your shoes. Unless you go for something, as I do, like yellow that doesn't match anything.

My Tim Gunn story is that I, my ex, and her brother saw him coming out of Saks with one of the guys frm Queer eye. R-dubs , as I called him, was looking for a husband and loved the guy from queer eye and ran up and straight up macked on the guy while we all just stood there. They ended up kissing and exchanging numbers on the street in front of Saks while we just stood there with Tim Gunn.
posted by Ad hominem at 4:44 AM on September 29, 2012 [8 favorites]


This is so cool and all (and Tim Gunn is the uncle/guy friend I will never have) but I am 89% sure that this thread is why I came home from a trip to the library with two skirts, a black tee and a cardigan.

And I always thought that cool kids don't match their socks to anything, don't even try. It's probably because the coolest, more sartorially put-together tutor I have wears combinations like orange patterned socks and brown oxfords.
posted by undue influence at 6:07 AM on September 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Why do athletic companies make white socks? I would happily pay an extra $1 for a black or blue or purple or orange running sock.

WWII, first mass-produced socks, leather chukka running shoes, athlete's foot, dye infections, ingrown toenails.

Some things are generational, and others hang on forever.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:42 AM on September 29, 2012


MetaFilter: the correct answer is pants.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:48 AM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


You can get an ingrown toenail from wearing non-white socks?

Bullshit.
posted by Sara C. at 7:53 AM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Sara C.You can get an ingrown toenail from wearing non-white socks?

Bullshit.


No, and you can't get leather chukka running shoes from them, either. You can get a secondary dye infection from non-white socks in an ingrown toenail, though.

Un-bullshit.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 9:09 AM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Thanks for explaining.

Next time I'm running in leather shoes and I have an ingrown toenail, I'll be sure to pick up some white socks.
posted by Sara C. at 9:17 AM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have always avoided this issue by not wearing socks with brown shoes. But then, my brown shoes are all heels.

Solution: when wearing jeans, men switch to wearing brown pumps without socks. Hey, it's a classic look!
posted by smirkette at 12:34 PM on September 29, 2012


we were at a mall today, and saw a couple that looked like younger versions of me and my boyfriend (she with blue hair, and he looked kinda punky) except that she had on mustard yellow tights, and I was all no! you can't do mustard with blue hair! canary, or maybe even an orangey yellow, but not mustard! Apparently I have a different set of fashion issues than most people.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 5:39 PM on September 29, 2012


Michael Jackson is the only person in history who could get away with white socks.

bq already mentioned Gene Kelly, but John F Kennedy, Paul Newman, and David Bowie also disagree.
posted by chrisulonic at 7:54 PM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have always avoided this issue by not running.
posted by maryr at 10:07 PM on September 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


just wanted to pull this gem out of RL's great story for emphasis: "...and he smells incredible."

Tim Gunn smells incredible, but this information presentation guy smells amazing.

The linked comment stayed with me, and Gunn triggered it.

Now I want to know what colognes they wear.

WHERE IS THE HTML MARKUP TO CONVEY SCENT?
posted by zippy at 5:23 AM on September 30, 2012


HTML MARKUP TAG
posted by zippy at 5:24 AM on September 30, 2012


Looks like DigiScent has rotted away, but somebody's cooking up XML Smell. According to the Digital Scent Technology entry at Wikipedia, for the past decade there's been no shortage of people trying to get a lock on remote odor transmission.
posted by ardgedee at 6:29 AM on September 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


What color socks should I wear with sandals, khaki shorts, fannypack, Hawaiian shirt, and straw hat?
posted by not_on_display at 11:36 AM on September 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


the fact that David Tennant owns days-of-the-week socks makes him exponentially that much more adorable.
I own a set of these but can't be bothered to unroll them every morning to find today's pair (the days are written on the bottom).
posted by dg at 2:18 PM on September 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I own a set of these but can't be bothered to unroll them every morning to find today's pair (the days are written on the bottom).

This is why I didn't buy them (I bought the ones with different-coloured stripey bottoms instead). It would bug the shit out of me to be wearing the wrong day's socks.
posted by hoyland at 3:58 PM on September 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


not_on_display: "182What color socks should I wear with sandals, khaki shorts, fannypack, Hawaiian shirt, and straw hat?"

Look, I don't want to be all Fashion Police on you, but I simply cannot stand by and let you continue with such an obvious fashion faux pas.

You should totally be wearing a fedora instead of the straw hat.
posted by misha at 10:39 AM on October 1, 2012 [4 favorites]


I want to smell Tim Gunn now. I need to.
posted by spec80 at 1:28 PM on October 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


It would bug the shit out of me to be wearing the wrong day's socks.
It does bug me! I didn't know they had the days of the week on them when I bought them or I would never have done so. In any case, at 5:00 am I barely even know what day of the week it is, never mind have the capacity to choose socks to reflect this. Plus, there's the issue that Monday's socks are worn slightly less than the rest, due to public holidays mostly falling on a Monday. The whole experience has been immensely stressful to me.
posted by dg at 6:57 PM on October 1, 2012


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