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Is this thread taking a wierd detour? January 27, 2014 5:10 AM   Subscribe

I don't understand why this thread is taking this weird route. At first I thought the worst thing that could happen to her was that she would be married off to an old dude and never heard from again. Then I realized that the worst thing was an acid attack.

Please tell me more about what is likely to happen, all of you expert Pakistani sociologists.
posted by hal_c_on to Etiquette/Policy at 5:10 AM (9 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Well the OP herself seems aware of some violent or illegal events directed at the women in her own life, so it doesn't seem that far-fetched to think there might be real danger in her travelling to Pakistan.
posted by billiebee at 5:20 AM on January 27 [15 favorites]


I think the worst case scenario is that she would be put to death for blasphemy.

Highly unlikely, but possible.
posted by koolkat at 5:20 AM on January 27


Well, she says that the worst thing is that she could be murdered by a family member the way her aunt was, but she's probably just being hysterical or making excuses for bad behavior. I'm sure she needs a man to talk some sense into her.

When someone tells you that they feel unsafe, I think it's at least worth entertaining the possibility that they might be accurately assessing the situation.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:22 AM on January 27 [108 favorites]


This is a really weird MeTa. I understand that, if you were to come out and say to an AskMe poster "you are way over-estimating the physical and emotional dangers, just go," suggesting you know her family and situation better than she does, it would get deleted. The solution to that problem is not a MeTa (preventing deletion), it's resisting the urge to make that comment.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:26 AM on January 27 [21 favorites]


Hit "post" too quickly. What positive outcome will possibly come from this MeTa? I imagine that you think shaming the poster and/or trotting out anti-Pakistani and anti-Muslim tropes are not your goal.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:29 AM on January 27 [4 favorites]


I don't understand this meta, hal_c_on. From the OP's original question:
Many of my family members are extremely conservative yet shady, untrustworthy people, and I am point-blank afraid of one of my uncles and my cousin - they have never been violent towards me, but they are violent men.
OP is in no doubt that violence is on the cards. You suggested that bringing the boyfriend along with permission would make the problems go away.

This isn't a case of people playing armchair sociologists second guessing Pakistanis as violent.

This is people taking OP's statements that her extended family are violent at face value, agreeing that the risk is too high and recommending accordingly.
posted by MuffinMan at 5:30 AM on January 27 [34 favorites]


I think the worst case scenario is that she would be put to death for blasphemy.

It's more likely that she gets executed in the US for being a person of color even though she has not committed any crime, than it is that she is executed in a country which has put a stop to capital punishment in 2008. So maybe we should warn all visitors of the US about this.

I'm sure she needs a man to talk some sense into her.

Amazing. Thanks for civilizing me.

This is people taking OP's statements that her extended family are violent at face value, agreeing that the risk is too high and recommending accordingly.

Yes. Acid attacks and forced marriage is the logical conclusion.


No prob, metafilter. Just make sure you tell women who are thinking about coming to the US to study that there's a huge chance of being raped at the college of their choice.

Also, OP, this is not about shaming you. You said nothing wrong...the problems I am having are with posters who seem to think that you're likely to be hurt in Pakistan for making the choices that your family has known about for almost 3 years now.

As if they were waiting for her to show up in Pakistan before they really get her.

But whatever, if this is the natural progression of this topic (someone says they have shady people in their family, 2 people who are violent= acid attacks and forced marriage) in this forum then so be it. That's what metafilter is and I just have to come terms with that.

My apologies for making this meta. Please feel free to close this down whenever anyone wants, or keep it open. Whatever.

Have a wonderful rest of the day, everybody.
posted by hal_c_on at 5:46 AM on January 27 [4 favorites]


Please tell me more about what is likely to happen, all of you expert Pakistani sociologists.

This sentence sounds like passive aggressive slap at the user base. Cut it out, you're acting like an asshole.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:47 AM on January 27 [46 favorites]


Yeah, let's go ahead and close this up. I don't think the Ask Me OP deserves a big angry freak-out thread on Metatalk. hal_c_on, you can bring up the problems you see in terms of Metafilter's treatment of Pakistan in a different thread that is maybe less angry lashing out and sarcasm, and won't put someone else's life under the microscope here.
posted by taz (staff) at 5:51 AM on January 27 [12 favorites]


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