Deletion of question about terminal illness May 12, 2014 12:29 PM   Subscribe

I'd like to hear more from the mods behind the rationale for deleting this question, from a person who is seeking advice related to their impending death. I'd also be interested in hearing feedback from the community at large about whether it's an appropriate question for askme.
posted by Greg Nog to Etiquette/Policy at 12:29 PM (43 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

I think that this was a bad deletion unless there was some kind of tomfoolery suspected.
posted by elizardbits at 12:31 PM on May 12, 2014 [8 favorites]


There is some kind of tomfoolery suspected.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 12:31 PM on May 12, 2014 [31 favorites]


In short: yes. Longer answer involves some stuff we'd really prefer people email to ask us about.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:31 PM on May 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm guessing from the deletion reason (and the fact that it was initially approved as an anonymous question) that there is more to the story here.
posted by Curious Artificer at 12:32 PM on May 12, 2014


carry on then
posted by elizardbits at 12:32 PM on May 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


the fact that it was initially approved as an anonymous question

It wasn't. Somewhat complicated story.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:32 PM on May 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Tomfoolery! I can better understand a deletion from that perspective.
posted by Greg Nog at 12:32 PM on May 12, 2014 [3 favorites]


It was Tao Lin.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:33 PM on May 12, 2014 [7 favorites]


Hi - I will copy what I've written to a few people who have emailed to ask about this. That question is a bit of an odd situation.

First of all, the person initially posted it under their own account, but then asked one mod to anonymize it. (Which we are sometimes willing to do, but not always.) That person said ok provisionally, but then we all conferred and there were several factors that added up to make the question not a good candidate for AskMe in the first place, let alone its being anon.

So, a bit messy to do it in that order, unfortunately, but that's how it goes when we want to (a) respond quickly if a person asks for anonymization but also (b) confer on the tough cases.

In addition, the question is chatfilter,... 'What practical things should i be sure to take care of' is a fine AskMe in that circumstance, but 'what should I do with my time' is open/chatfiltery (without knowing anything about the asker's life, it's basically 'what do you imagine YOU would do if you had 2 weeks').

Plus what they said.
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 12:33 PM on May 12, 2014 [5 favorites]


but that doesn't sound like tomfoolery?
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 12:34 PM on May 12, 2014 [10 favorites]


Metafilter: Plus what they said.
posted by Melismata at 12:34 PM on May 12, 2014 [3 favorites]


Ehh, sorry, I don't actually have a dog in the fight (nor does it look like there is a fight). Ignore me.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 12:34 PM on May 12, 2014


I get the desire to avoid chatfilter questions on here--it's a sound goal.

But surely, if there's ever an exception to be made, this is it. No?
posted by yellowcandy at 12:35 PM on May 12, 2014 [4 favorites]


LM is being diplomatic in case someone saw the question before it was anonymized but we have reason to believe it wasn't made in good faith.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:35 PM on May 12, 2014 [7 favorites]


Well, as much as it kills me to potentially let go of so much Gossip Potential, I understand if you guys want to close the thread up. Thanks!
posted by Greg Nog at 12:36 PM on May 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


yeah i can totally understand wanting to avoid another horrible holdkriss situation
posted by elizardbits at 12:36 PM on May 12, 2014 [12 favorites]


Potentially potential potent potables
posted by Greg Nog at 12:37 PM on May 12, 2014 [5 favorites]


greg we can talk about griphus' new haircut in email if that will help
posted by elizardbits at 12:37 PM on May 12, 2014 [12 favorites]


LM is generally diplomatic and an asset to the mod team.

I worked in insurance, which is all about judgment calls and also legally requires a lot of privacy protection stuff, so I sympathize with the mods. And I am kind of uneasy with this MeTa and okay with the deletion. So I am also okay if it gets closed so folks can see it got discussed but we can not have a shitshow.
posted by Michele in California at 12:38 PM on May 12, 2014


Should I get a haircut?
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 12:41 PM on May 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


the same thing happened to me, and after a fortnight of nonstop cocaine and hookers, they said they got my chart mixed up with someone else.
posted by bruce at 12:42 PM on May 12, 2014 [17 favorites]


Even absent the tomfoolery thing, I think the question might be a little bit too broad and open-ended to be a good fit for AskMe.
posted by box at 12:47 PM on May 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


I got Bruce's chart. I slow carb dieted, went to work and did some jogging for two weeks, and then I died.
posted by michaelh at 12:47 PM on May 12, 2014 [43 favorites]


Before I die I just want to get one more chatfilter question past the mods.
posted by mullacc at 12:50 PM on May 12, 2014 [25 favorites]


Yeah, I've felt burned since the holdkris incident. My first thought when I read this question was, I hope this isn't a hoax. Innocence lost...
posted by Melismata at 12:51 PM on May 12, 2014 [5 favorites]


If this was a hoax attempt I hope the user is banned.
posted by lalex at 12:58 PM on May 12, 2014 [8 favorites]


I'm just glad that it's not someone who only has two weeks to live, but who will instead be forced to just carry on miserably and indefinitely just like the rest of us!
posted by mudpuppie at 12:59 PM on May 12, 2014 [12 favorites]


Besides, Playa del Fuego is in Delaware, not Vermont.
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:04 PM on May 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Tom Foolery is dying? I didn't even know he was sick.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:06 PM on May 12, 2014 [5 favorites]


Guys, I have less than 50 years left. What should I do with my remaining time?
posted by cjorgensen at 1:09 PM on May 12, 2014 [30 favorites]


Try to take over the world?
posted by octobersurprise at 1:09 PM on May 12, 2014 [7 favorites]


cjorgensen: get laid. and tell people what you think (nicely).
posted by Michele in California at 1:09 PM on May 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


Pilates.
posted by Auntie Kreist at 1:10 PM on May 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Have the best fifty years ever.
posted by phaedon at 1:10 PM on May 12, 2014 [18 favorites]


In addition, the question is chatfilter,... 'What practical things should i be sure to take care of' is a fine AskMe in that circumstance, but 'what should I do with my time' is open/chatfiltery (without knowing anything about the asker's life, it's basically 'what do you imagine YOU would do if you had 2 weeks').

Just wanted to register my strong disapproval with that characterization. If I were dying in two weeks, I would want to ask exactly that question, and in exactly that way. The last thing I'd want would be to have a bunch of internet strangers cavorting themselves to psychoanalyze the small bits of my personality and life that I could convey in a few paragraphs asking for advice. The more the asker fed into a question like that, the worse I think we would do as a community in responding.

It's plenty specific, and, were it to be a real question, it definitely has a problem that is looking to be solved. I wouldn't classify it as chatfilter in the slightest.
posted by jsturgill at 1:11 PM on May 12, 2014 [40 favorites]


There is certainly a problem implied, but it's certainly not solvable, by anyone. Chatfilter.
posted by ftm at 1:16 PM on May 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Do whatever the fuck you want to do. Have the best fifty years ever.

Glad to be getting some mileage out of MC Hammer's sagest advice.
posted by carsonb at 1:16 PM on May 12, 2014 [2 favorites]


the same thing happened to me, and after a fortnight of nonstop cocaine and hookers, they said they got my chart mixed up with someone else.

Unfortunately, all that blow means the chart now applies to you as well, sorry!
posted by kmz at 1:17 PM on May 12, 2014 [1 favorite]


Flagged as: Tomfoolery, Chicanery, General Messin' About
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:18 PM on May 12, 2014 [7 favorites]


I saw it during its brief window of non-anonymity, and based on Some Other Stuff, I felt that it was fishier than the Starkist plant. HOWEVER, if such a question WERE actually asked in good faith, I also don't think it would necessarily be chatfilter - solely by virtue of the brief window of time in question, it kinda BECOMES a practical/concrete request. I can see where it's an insanely sticky/gray-area kinda question, though, and I hope to G-d that no one ever asks it For Reals.
posted by julthumbscrew at 1:18 PM on May 12, 2014 [7 favorites]


The "I'm still up and about" seemed odd to me... I've never known anyone who got a diagnosis as short as 2 weeks and was up and about in any way - granted, my relatives have generally been pretty old when they died. My 90 year old grandfather literally was up and about until almost exactly 2 weeks before his death - but he hadn't been diagnosed and when he was, despite terribly advanced leukemia, they still gave him more than 2 weeks initially.

I'm saying all this because... Are there actually cases where someone is very terminally ill, to the extent where their doctors tell them they have days to live, but still mobile and not hospitalized?

(Mods, if this is too gossipy, chatfiltery, whathaveyou, feel free to delete it - I'm just genuinely curious if this is even possible).
posted by maryr at 1:19 PM on May 12, 2014 [7 favorites]


I'm saying all this because... Are there actually cases where someone is very terminally ill, to the extent where their doctors tell them they have days to live, but still mobile and not hospitalized?

You should pretend you're writing a book and Ask.
posted by jsturgill at 1:20 PM on May 12, 2014 [11 favorites]


I think probably what would be best is if we just left this thread at this point as an "it's complicated" situation regarding the initial question/anonymization/deletion thing and skip further speculation and such, so I'm gonna go ahead and close this up. If folks want to have a more general metatalk discussion about askme posting guidelines and chatfilter and so on, totally fine for someone to start a new thread that doesn't hang off a this specific question.
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:21 PM on May 12, 2014 [8 favorites]


« Older Just a quick note to congratulate Emma H and her...   |   92: Numb and Number Newer »

This thread is closed to new comments.