Take care of yourself and those you love! July 8, 2016 11:41 AM   Subscribe

It's a hard hard month in a hard hard summer. I just wanted to remind people that this is a great community, and we agree on more than we disagree on, and we should all look out for each other a bit. James Comey said before Congress yesterday that the only two things he has of value are the love of his family and friends and his integrity. MetaFilter has helped me develop both of those things over the years, and I hope it's been positive for others. So, we should support each other and love each other, and we should take it easy on ourselves when we need to do that. XOXOX
posted by OmieWise to MetaFilter-Related at 11:41 AM (162 comments total) 73 users marked this as a favorite

This has been a bad month in a year that's already had plenty of bad, and the last few days have been especially motherfuckery.

And it's hard stuff to process, and it affects everybody in their own way and leaves us off kilter. We're sad; we're angry; we're out of breath.

And it's hard sometimes to remember when we're all in the midst of the pain and horror and heartbreak and outrage that comes with all this that this isn't just a place to try and hash out and sometimes argue heatedly about all that stuff; this is also a place where we come because of community, because of a sense of being together in something, of having this site and the idiosyncratic and heterogeneous culture that's grown out of it to rely on when we just need somewhere to be.

Take care of yourselves, and let's take care of each other, as best as we can. Everyone needs a hug.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:48 AM on July 8, 2016 [76 favorites]


Just popping in to repost: The Nicest Place on the Internet
posted by JauntyFedora at 11:55 AM on July 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


y'all are the best, that's all
posted by murphy slaw at 11:57 AM on July 8, 2016


This year has been unbelievably stressful for me for both the obvious, public reasons, and for an equal number of personal ones. I can't thank the people of MetaFilter enough for creating and demonstrating and fighting for a place that consistently moves me to get my head out of my own ass.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:02 PM on July 8, 2016 [15 favorites]


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
posted by deezil at 12:05 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


hug
posted by Gorgik at 12:12 PM on July 8, 2016


You're all great. I'm looking forward to keeping this thread open through my Friday evening and it making me smile, and feel warm and laugh out loud and think "those people, they're my people" (even if only the especially attentive would know who I am.)

I'm tense about the world at the moment. So tense that my first instinct when I opened this thread was to begin the great airing of the grievances. Instincts are a bit stupid. In times where we're in a world where everything is wrong and puzzling, and threats to our psychological security are coming from all over the place, we can remember that's safer than most for nearly all of us. And we can show our thanks by doing our best to make it a place of safety and reason and empathy and thoughtfulness to everyone, all the time.

And by explicitly stating our thanks. Thanks MetaFilter. You're a bunch of lovely people who've carved out a wonderful place for all of us. And you've made me a kinder, happier person. Hugs.
posted by ambrosen at 12:18 PM on July 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


Just popping in to repost: The Nicest Place on the Internet

Tied for first with the Old Friends Dog Sanctuary!
posted by barchan at 12:24 PM on July 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


I love you all, which is why I need to vote #1 Quidnunc Kid. He'll teach you.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:26 PM on July 8, 2016 [9 favorites]


Although I don't post or comment much, MeFi is definitely my "home" online and I appreciate all of you and offer all the hugs I have to give.

Whenever something bad happens in the world, I come to MeFi and at least one member's words will soothe me or give me new perspective.

When I have a manic attack and the world cannot keep up with me and my thoughts, MeFi is here with more content than I could ever consume and advice (that others have sought -- I don't post or comment when impaired) that I really need to hear but would dismiss if anyone in real life tried to give me.

When my dog died suddenly and unexpectedly two months ago, I could not get out of bed, but when I did, it was MeFi that cheered me up.

I live in the middle of nowhere and have met none of you, but I feel a compelling connection to this community and I cherish the time I spend here. I honestly do not know what I would do without MeFi.

Can you love a website? I love Metafilter, I love you all, and I wish only the best for everyone here. Thanks for everything, everyone!
posted by danabanana at 12:28 PM on July 8, 2016 [68 favorites]


This has been a bad month in a year that's already had plenty of bad ...

... in a century that's already had enough bad. But as the crazy lady once said "In the new century I think we will all be insane." And I believe it!

James Comey said before Congress yesterday that the only two things he has of value are the love of his family and friends and his integrity

My integrity and the love of my friends are the only two things I have of value -- and my books. And records. And a few pieces of art. So five. Five things of value.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:30 PM on July 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


And that family recipe you have. You know, the one everyone asks about after eating that thing you make. It's a good recipe.
posted by filthy light thief at 12:31 PM on July 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'd sincerely love to see folks do less concern trolling in difficult threads. The BLM thread has had its share of that this morning, and it has made a difficult and painful conversation much harder. The mods deleted some of it, but not all.

It truly is okay if we're upset for one guy who's getting hundred of death threats. It's also okay if we empathize with the people who were killed nine times more frequently than any other demographic group in police shootings last year. Even after an incident in which police officers were murdered. Talking about one isn't disrespect towards the other.

We're a community of multitudes. Part of being kind to each other needs to be tolerance for each others' pains and worries.
posted by zarq at 12:32 PM on July 8, 2016 [41 favorites]


MetaFilter has changed my life in so many good ways, it's impossible to count. But at the core of all of that is all the people who are here with me. Every IRL meet I've been to has only underscored how truly awesome this self-selected group is.

I cherish all of you, and the schmoopy I feel for y'all goes unexpressed a lot of the time. Thanks for being here, each and every one of you.
posted by hippybear at 12:54 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Thank god for this thread right now. Thank you OmieTrulyWise. Everyone needs a hug.


meh.
posted by infini at 12:55 PM on July 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


I love metafilter, and the people whose words I read here every day. It has been a bad, bad year, bad enough that I find myself worrying for the future of humanity in a way that that I have never been prone to worry before. This place gives me hope that not everything is beyond salvaging. Thanks to you all.
posted by Ipsifendus at 1:00 PM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Usually I hate these schmoopy threads*, but, dang if a little schmoopy doesn't sound good right now. Keep on being your schmoopy selves, MeFi.


(*as a very long-time member, I come from a VERY different MetaFilter than many of you, and so I am kind of like those people who have lived in New York City too long and miss the pimps and the porno theaters in Times Square.)
posted by briank at 1:01 PM on July 8, 2016 [28 favorites]


Usually I hate these schmoopy threads*, but, dang if a little schmoopy doesn't sound good right now.

You know, I do to. But as my wife says to me frequently: "Try to act like you went to social work school, dammit!"

NB: I knew my wife was a great one when, upon picking her up for our first date, I saw that she had a quote from the SW Code of Ethics taped to her monitor: "Social Workers respect the inherent worth and dignity of all people."
posted by OmieWise at 1:23 PM on July 8, 2016 [17 favorites]


I've been mostly staying off of twitter and also out of that thread. I'm glad you posted this though. Because I still want to be on MetaFilter. And yet, I have this kind of numbness. I hope everyone is doing well and taking care of themselves. Yesterday I spent time with my sister and ate comfort food and had a few beers. It was a good thing. I'm trying to focus on that, trying to remember the good things that make us human. I hope everyone finds their own good thing.
posted by Fizz at 1:24 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


There are good things happening everywhere. Be part of it. Now.
posted by valentinepig at 1:30 PM on July 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


This just in. One of my myriads of nephews is the hairy little beast in red.
posted by infini at 1:33 PM on July 8, 2016 [17 favorites]


When the world around us is going crazy, I truly appreciate having this site to help me find some sanity. I expect things to get worse, so thanks for being here.
posted by blurker at 1:55 PM on July 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have been walking around in my office barefoot. It is my way of having a dandelion break and it is sort of helping.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:04 PM on July 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


Make fists with your toes.
posted by rtha at 2:11 PM on July 8, 2016 [16 favorites]


Yeah I just sort of lost it today and had to shut down Twitter. Just that overwhelming feeling that everything sucks and as much as I tweet and retweet and favourite and get mad or whatever I just felt like it's sort of pointless and I feel angry and sad and completely useless to help. I think the last thing I tweeted was that I don't know what I can do...maybe I can make someone a nice lunch or maybe a pie? How stupid is that. I felt like I just wanted to hug people or something, just anyone, just to show that everything hasn't gone to shit.
Anyhow I love all of you people and if you're in Toronto I'll make you a pie.
posted by chococat at 2:25 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


So I actually have a story that features a brief appearance from a guy I was sort of dating in 2014 (and whom I referred to in here as "Object D'Schmoop"). Things fizzled because it was long distance and he was in grad school anyway, but he is a fantastically sweet guy, and I kept him in my Facebook orbit anyway (even though he barely posted and we've barely spoken).

He randomly posted a comment sometime towards the middle of last week - "Would anyone like to hear anything today?" Some of his friends responded with serious requests, and some with silly ones. And he was equally serious and silly in his responses - giving genuine pep talks to the people who needed them, and being really witty with the silly ones (when someone said they wanted to hear "Hamilton", he linked to an audio book version of the Federalist Papers). So I decided to have a little fun myself, and post three requests - two that I was pretty sure were esoteric and rare, and one that didn't exist; the one that didn't exist was "The Waterboys and Glen Hansard jamming together on the song 'Fisherman's Blues'."

Not twenty minutes later I saw he replied, asking "do you mean this?"

Now - "Fisherman's Blues" is a song I have a special relationship with. Something about the way the fiddle and the mandolin weave around each other like that, and something about the lyrics which are at once sad and yet hopeful, and something about that fantastic chorus "with light in my head, and you in my arms" and that whoop at the end...invariably, it doesn't just make me feel better, it makes me joyous.

And now take that song - better yet, take an imaginary version of that song that you've thought you've only dreamed up in your own imagination - and have someone you dated and still kinda wish things went on a bit longer suddenly manifest it in the real world upon your command.

It was a small moment of magic during a rotten week, and I needed it. I just listened to that exact version again now, and I needed it too. And now I'm sharing it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 2:41 PM on July 8, 2016 [41 favorites]


It's really something that one tragedy has so easily flowed into the next so much that there's no reason for individual Mefi threads on particular events anymore. It's just one long nightmare now. It's actually kind of nice to just come to the blue now and not have to read about everything being awful.
posted by theraflu at 2:46 PM on July 8, 2016 [18 favorites]


Thanks for starting this thread. This morning my wife and I were getting ready for the day and I looked at her and said, "It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it?" And she nodded and there was a long pause and I thought about all the crazy tough things that have happened over the last six months. And I said, "Looks like I picked the wrong year to quit drinking." Which is actually pretty funny because I really did, back in January.

But she didn't get the reference, so it was kind of awkward and weird for a minute until I explained it.

So I'm glad to have a place to use it again where I know folks will understand.
posted by nickmark at 3:03 PM on July 8, 2016 [14 favorites]


I don't identify myself by membership of any websites or online communities (at least not since Home of the Underdogs died) except that I proudly call myself a MeFite. Much as I may piss and moan, this place means a hell of a lot to me.
posted by Dysk at 3:11 PM on July 8, 2016 [10 favorites]


❤ >O.O< ❤ (Totoro hugs)

Wishing everyone peace and peace of mind.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 3:33 PM on July 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


This year has been bizarre- the world is plainly falling to shit all around me- and yet my personal and professional and romantic life? It's been a banner year, honestly probably the best year of my life, no contest. I'm having a bit of survivor's guilt wondering why *I'm* the guy who has it so good- and feeling really impotent that I have absolutely nothing to offer in terms of making the world a less horrible place. Thanks for this thread- I came here last night looking for something like it and am glad it's here.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 3:42 PM on July 8, 2016 [11 favorites]


Actually, BinB, I find the reminder that people are still out there having banner years quite reassuring, so thanks for sharing, and congrats.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:46 PM on July 8, 2016 [8 favorites]




My cat is also having a banner year, with record numbers of Amazon boxes arriving for her to play in.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 3:52 PM on July 8, 2016 [19 favorites]


I just spent two weeks in Texas. (Bad year you say? Me too! My dad died!) When there's a death in the family, you end up seeing a lot of people you haven't seen in decades, whom you no longer know, not really, and the conversations they have with you and your family while sitting in the living room with a pound cake on someone's lap are, well, telling. What really struck me, not having been around most of these people for a very long time and also not spending much time in Texas anymore, was that I heard a lot of talk about how the gun thing is absolutely out of control -- and that there should be some control. (From Texans, really!). Aaaaaaand I heard a lot of drive-by, casual racism/microaggressive racist jokes that didn't even seem to register with other people hearing the same conversation. And I'm like, you can't complain about and rail about how THIS needs to be fixed when THAT is absolutely part of the very same problem yet you don't even acknowledge it.

It's exhausting, and heartbreaking, and I can't see the way out, and I'm not even among the groups of people most entitled to be incensed and/or afraid right now. I'm grateful for Metafilter -- a lighthouse of sorts, with all its little lighthouse keepers.

Hugs indeed, all around, and some knocks upside the head too.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:01 PM on July 8, 2016 [25 favorites]


Because the universe has a sick sense of humor, today my library hold for Adrian Tomine's Killing and Dying came in.

sigh

I do love this site and all of you (yes, even you), but tonight I am going to have pizza and wine, go to bed early, and hope tomorrow is less terrible.
posted by Flannery Culp at 4:02 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


here is a very important video for good times

Oh, if we're doing that, then here.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:03 PM on July 8, 2016 [20 favorites]


Dogs and cats living together: mass hysteria!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:11 PM on July 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


Having this place to come to over the last couple of weeks saved my sanity. There isn't a single other site I would have dared go near. The world is a shitshow run by bastards and it's hard to bear sometimes. Like tonight, when my wee nieces are staying with me and I'm cuddled up with them and thinking how much I do not want them ever to have to know what people are capable of and knowing that they have no choice but to find out. When you want to set fire to the whole world it's good to remember there are genuinely good people out there, smart and kind and funny, and that there are places like this where the people in charge aren't actually trying to hurt you. I have a lot of faith in humanity but sometimes that is sorely, sorely tested. Coming here is one of the things that helps me keep the faith. Thank you all, love you loads.
posted by billiebee at 4:16 PM on July 8, 2016 [16 favorites]


Ohmigosh, mudpuppie - that is the best. Thanks for posting it! I also have had a rough week financially, professionally, and jebus-chribus-stop-allowing-awful-things-universe. Hugs to those who need it and congratulations to those being smiled upon. Here's hoping next week is better. Cheers!
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 4:17 PM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


2016 has been dark as hell, and every time I think it's about as dark as its going to get, it surprises me again.

It would be over the top and not completely honest to say MeFi has been a beacon, but it has been a flashlight, and when it's dark you're goddamn glad of a flashlight.
posted by Mooski at 4:33 PM on July 8, 2016 [6 favorites]




So I work at a theater. Primarily movies, but we're also a concert and events venue. It's a ton of work, long hours for little money, as people in the business can tell you. But it's also ... my job, at its core, is to facilitate people having a good time. And that's incredibly rewarding.

We had a great act on stage last night, sold out all 1400-ish seats. They were fun and funny, they were touching, they reached out emotionally to their audience (of primarily very young people). I spent the whole day all cooped up inside my own head, refreshing here on Metafilter, feeling such anxiety over what was to come of my country and the world, but after their show I left feeling really good. The last time I looked at my phone was about 5 minutes before reports about the Dallas shooting started coming out.

So I woke up in the morning to see what had happened overnight. And I just felt hollowed out. I reached out to friends to tell them I loved them. I came back to Metafilter and started refreshing all over again. But the day has been brutal.

I have worked here for several years, and a few months ago I got the opportunity to start programming my own series of movies: it's a late-night off-beat series, not exactly cult movies ... more of what I describe as the kind of movies that you force your friends to watch. Movies that are better than they need to be, that transcend themselves (so far, e.g., we've shown The Warriors, Repo Man, Clueless, The Room, Bloodsport, They Live, Fifth Element, etc.). By this morning I'd already put in 50 hours or so at work this week and had another 10 hour day ahead of me, because part of what I get to do with this series is a little pre-film talk from stage. And I just didn't think I could do it.

Nobody would miss it. I have high hopes for what this series is going to be eventually, but for a lot of boring professional reasons I haven't been able to concentrate on it the way I'd like to. So nobody in the crowd is going to miss me ambling out on stage and talking for 5 minutes. I could skip it. I'm exhausted and I just don't have the heart to get people interested tonight. But I come here to this thread, where it's just people talking about how they love this website that I've loved too for, fuck, almost 15 years now? And how it's a shelter and a comfort to them, like it is to me. And I feel a bit reinvigorated. You people, just talking and listening with you, has yet again improved my life. Metafilter is wonderful. And fuck it, I'll go out in two hours and do my thing. Giving out entertainment, giving a little escapism to the world ... well, we all need it and I'm lucky I get to do it.
posted by penduluum at 5:33 PM on July 8, 2016 [24 favorites]


I put in my "Best of the Weavers" 4-disc set while I was running errands today. A good melodramatic "Go Tell Aunt Rhody" on the way to the library is great fun. No Tzena, Tzena, Tzena on the trip, so here it is for you. I'm so grateful to be part of an engaged and caring community here.
posted by epj at 5:34 PM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


This year is just horrible, and I'm having such a hard time keeping myself from sinking into a deep black pit, and this place is the place I go to take a break from the horribleness. Thank you all for being here.
posted by sarcasticah at 5:42 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


it has been a flashlight, and when it's dark you're goddamn glad of a flashlight.

And for someone to hold your hand for a minute, to let you know you're not alone. Thank you, MetaFilter.
posted by MonkeyToes at 6:16 PM on July 8, 2016 [12 favorites]


So, I've been lurking/visiting here daily for a little over 10 years, and just recently signed up for an account. This is actually my first comment, I think. Anyway, if it is, I am happy to use it to say I appreciate the hell out of this site and the MeFi community. No matter what happens during my day or how bleak/boring/bonkers life gets, there is always something here that brightens my day or engages my brain in fun new ways.

Thank you all for being you!
posted by gizzmo at 6:36 PM on July 8, 2016 [31 favorites]


I want to say thank you also. I rarely post here but I do visit a lot, and it has helped in a difficult and terrible year. I am in a new city and feeling especially alone, adrift, powerless, reading page after page of this difficult news. But this place has helped, as a place where people are doing the difficult and essential work of trying to understand and acknowledge one another's humanity. Thank you.

This is what I have been listening to today.
posted by earth by april at 6:49 PM on July 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


2016 has been the worst year of my life. In February, my stepfather of 27 years died. In June, my father died. My mother's health declined precipitously through the spring and summer so I've been at her place in New Jersey (800 miles from my home in East Tennessee) on and off all summer, when I wasn't in New Mexico for Dad's death, preparing to move her to my little town where I can help do for her.

Our move date is this Thursday.

Through the last six months I've turned to Metafilter when I had a spare moment. You all have helped me make sense of the terrible last six months in The Real World, and helped me keep a reasonable perspective on my problems.

I don't know where I'd be without you. Well, you and buspirone, but mostly you. Thank you.
posted by workerant at 6:49 PM on July 8, 2016 [19 favorites]


Looks like I picked the wrong year to quit drinking.

A comic whose name escapes me said she believed in climate change but wanted to know how long it would take to get really bad, like is it Science Time—decades—or Celebrity Time—a year or two: "I want to know if I can start smoking again."

Congrats, nickmark.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:14 PM on July 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: this isn't just a place to try and hash out and sometimes argue heatedly about all that stuff.
posted by Melismata at 7:15 PM on July 8, 2016 [1 favorite]




This year started terribly for us. We lost one of our cats on January 6 to a very aggressive cancer. Reading threads on here about pet loss were so, so helpful.

The amount of crap has sort of been unrelenting. But today I ordered Save the Date cards for my wedding. So we just keep going.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:37 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


PS -- I acknowledged what a hard month it's been, and I talked about why just having fun for a couple hours is so important. And I told the audience I loved them, and the Theatre loved them. It went great.
posted by penduluum at 7:53 PM on July 8, 2016 [21 favorites]


I am so happy that I got out of Facebook and Twitter and Reddit some time ago. The worst of MetaFilter is just below the level of the best of most of the internet. And our aggressive moderation deserves most of the credit for that... I can't even blame the Mods for deleting comments of mine; 80-90% of which were ill-advised (about 50% of the ones they keep are ill-advised). Under these difficult circumstances, the most trouble-filled threads have proven to be the best places to keep up to date on the sh!t coming down (and the only places where the accumulated sh!t reaches ONLY waist-high).

After a health crisis in late 2015 with issues left unresolved, I've been trying to avoid anything too serious. My daily RSS feed reader is overwhelmed with webcomics, funny blogs (like PleatedJeans, TastefullyOffensive and MissCellania) and sites about scifi, animation and junk food. MetaFilter is my "general interest" internet because the collective judgment of the posting members (and yeah, I'm one of them) is superior to everything considered "media" today.

Having now survived through to the midway point of 2016, I consider my odds of not being on MetaFilter's equivalent of the Oscars Annual Tribute film this year getting pretty good. This has been an awful year for the world, but I'm doing okay (thanks again, massive Straight White Male Privilege) and MetaFilter is one of my best reasons NOT to feel deeply ashamed.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:07 PM on July 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


This is a beautiful, much needed thread. Thank you OmieWise.

And thank you to all of you who make this place what it is to all its visitors (regulars AND lurkers alike).

If anyone (yes, you too, lurkers!) is feeling up to it, I'm headed to Chat for a while, come join me! It'll only be my second time chatting, but let's just bullshit and let off some steam for a while? Click that "Chat" link up top!
posted by bologna on wry at 8:16 PM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hugs to everyone who needs them. I've been crying on and off since Orlando, and in the last 48 hours or so it's been every few hours. It feels like there aren't enough tears. It feels like there isn't enough rage.
posted by Deoridhe at 8:16 PM on July 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


Thank you, OmieWise, for starting this thread. And thank you, Metafilter, for being here and being you.

I'm stressed and I'm scared--for me, for my family, for my community, for my country, for the world. This week has really gotten into my head. Maybe it's because of my little mixed-race family and our two-month-old daughter, or because of the progressive church we belong to that's been the target of threats, or just because of the same things that have presumably been wigging everyone else out: the sheer volume of tragedy, of hatred and anger and blind prejudice at work in the world, and the forces that seek to exploit that hatred, harness it, mold it into power to be wielded by malevolent men.

Here in Rockville, somebody a few streets over started setting off fireworks an hour or two ago, and I swear to God my mind jumped immediately to fears of violence between police and civilians in my neighborhood. It was nothing, of course--just a fireworks display--but that's where recent events took me.

In the midst of all this dread and sorrow, this worry and fear and grief, I am grateful to Metafilter for the civility and grace so regularly displayed on this site, yes--but I've taken at least as much solace in the mundane here; those niche interests and hobbies that people pursue, and the love and dedication people have for their passions. The appreciation people show for that which they love has been a balm to me this week. Thank you.
posted by duffell at 8:26 PM on July 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


I don't get this. I'd wager that a small minority of Metafilter users even have a second or third degree interaction with anyone affected by the recent events. While I sympathize and empathize with those affected, I don't see why a call for self-care is needed for such an abstract thing.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 8:26 PM on July 8, 2016


May I gently suggest that if you don't feel the need, you avail yourself of one of the many other fine threads on this site?
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 8:33 PM on July 8, 2016 [61 favorites]


I am affected by the recent events. I don't know why I'd need a specific "interaction" to be so. This is my country, and I am affected. We are all being affected.
posted by Miko at 8:46 PM on July 8, 2016 [14 favorites]


"fisherman's Blues" gets me joyous. This gets me calm and hopeful. Sleep well, all.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:48 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


I've enjoyed reading Mefi for more than a decade but I've never felt part of it. But I think we (you) are a force for good. That's why I keep coming back.
posted by dmh at 8:53 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


I don't get this. I'd wager that a small minority of Metafilter users even have a second or third degree interaction with anyone affected by the recent events. While I sympathize and empathize with those affected, I don't see why a call for self-care is needed for such an abstract thing.

If you aren't clear why more than just the immediately-affected hurt, I would question whether you really are "Empathizing".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:54 PM on July 8, 2016 [5 favorites]


Yesterday, some dipshit set off an M80 in a trashcan in the hospital down the block - it was in an administrative area, so no patients, but nobody knew it was "just" a firework and so the building was locked down/people were evacuated/streets were closed/cops and firefighters were everywhere. Getting onto my street was an adventure. Then today as I was leaving work, I looked across at the East Bay and thought wow, that's some fog they have...wait, fog isn't black. It took me a minute to orient myself enough to know I wasn't looking at one of the airports; turns out it was a fire at a recycling center (it's out now).

So tonight I am watching a livestream of bears in an Alaskan river, eating salmon. It is good. What happens in this world can have an effect on me, even though I don't know any of the bears (or salmon) personally.
posted by rtha at 8:54 PM on July 8, 2016 [15 favorites]


While I sympathize and empathize with those affected, I don't see why a call for self-care is needed for such an abstract thing.

The saddest thing (and, on reflection, the most selfish thing) for me, is that it ISN'T abstract anymore. It's to the point where I, someone with "no second or third degree interaction with anyone affected by recent events," feel that this is a very, very concrete thing. It's a very concrete BAD thing. Concrete THREAT. It is a very concrete weight that I feel, on me. And it affects so many others so much more heavily than it affects me. Coming to that realization -- that's what moves it from abstract to concrete.

It's not self-care that's called for here. It's kindness and compassion for others. Because nothing else is going to cure this not-abstract shit.

Respectfully, if you see recent events -- the overwhelming totality of them -- as "such an abstract thing," you need to re-examine this sympathy and empathy you say you feel for those affected, because you're fooling yourself.
posted by mudpuppie at 8:56 PM on July 8, 2016 [21 favorites]


On the Self Care front - The Great British Bake-off is all over YouTube and I am indulging endlessly. I've also been pointed to Canada as a source for reality tv where the focus is on success, not meltdowns. I may be down a reality TV and Pokemon (if the server ever works!) hole for a while. Send snax, plz.
posted by Deoridhe at 8:59 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


I mean this in a "I want to engage and understand" way, not a "Gotcha" way: OK, so I'm white, and I want to disengage with the news, because the news sucks, but I'm having an issue with white people urging self-care, because part of me's like "Fuck, we white people don't get to claim a time-out, when that's not an option for Black people," BUT I also am a therapist and I very much agree with the overall idea of self-care, and I'm kind of coming to a conclusion that white straight people don't get to talk about self-care (unless uging people of color to take some), but maybe there's a more nuanced (or less nuanced?) way of looking at this?
posted by lazuli at 9:05 PM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


I don't see why a call for self-care is needed for such an abstract thing.

May I less than gently suggest that, where you find someone in pain, and you don't understand why they're hurting, telling them that their pain isn't real is supremely insensitive.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:08 PM on July 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


I love the music people are sharing. I've been listening to Sacred Harp and it's been lifting my spirits. Here are some nice people in Ireland singing 168 Cowper.

I find the song Julian of Norwich by Tricket, Bock, and Muir to be a comfort when things are very dark.
posted by not that girl at 9:19 PM on July 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Don't know if I should post this on the Front Page or here in MetaTalk, because it contains a bit of interview with MeFi's Own cortex about one of his other projects. (Also links to a group-created webcomic that *I* have contributed to.) Trigger Warning: Garfield.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:25 PM on July 8, 2016


I appreciate reminders of self-care and reminders that we are a community because my brain likes to use the worse of humanity's actions as proof that there's no point in sticking around on this earth. And I need gentle reminders to unplug or go to other threads because it gets hard to see people who, when commenting on something that affects me personally (as trans, or female presenting, or poor, or queer, or you know a basic empathetic human being) in a way that feels dismissive or as logic experiment as more further proof that all humanity sucks.

Thanks for being a place where when someone posts something past feminism 101 it doesn't get met with them being called "fucking pathetic", "always playing the victim", "utterly useless", and "never knowing real suffering" as I have been this week by a few ppl on FB.
posted by kanata at 9:27 PM on July 8, 2016 [11 favorites]


Fuck Facebook for real.
posted by penduluum at 9:40 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Everyone needs a hug.
posted by zachlipton at 9:42 PM on July 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


When its really bad I hug my kitty and look at her video from 2 yrs ago.
posted by yesster at 9:57 PM on July 8, 2016 [12 favorites]


I just today discovered this sung version of Psalm 126, but it hit me hard. Too religious for many, I'm sure, but it helped me today.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 10:02 PM on July 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'm kind of coming to a conclusion that white straight people don't get to talk about self-care (unless uging people of color to take some), but maybe there's a more nuanced (or less nuanced?) way of looking at this?

This thread isn't about white straight people taking care of themselves and the ones they love, it's about Mefites taking care of themselves and the ones they love. Some Mefites are white straight people, some are not. Some of the ones that white straight people love are not white straight people. Most importantly, except for those who choose to share this information about themselves, we have no way of knowing how other Mefites self identify or how the ones they love self identify. I would therefore like all of the Mefites out there to take care of themselves and the ones they love. Whoever the hell you are, whoever the hell you love. It would be a really nice fucking start. And who knows? Maybe a tiny amount of goodwill will even escape out into the wild, spread all quiet and viral-like, infect a bit of hatred here, overtake a bit of despair there. Recombinant fucking-a!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:06 PM on July 8, 2016 [43 favorites]


Also: I'm drunk.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:08 PM on July 8, 2016 [27 favorites]


If injustice was such an abstract thing that none need concern themselves over, nothing in this world would ever have changed for the better. Not even your colony.
posted by infini at 10:09 PM on July 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Because it's hard to send hugs via the Internet, here are some adorable baby animals.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:26 PM on July 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Astonishingly, that compilation of baby animals is gorgeous. Also, yeah, hugs to all and everyone who needs them. *"Approved" stamp banging on counter*
posted by Namlit at 12:01 AM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


This has been a rotten year on so many levels and I am grateful every day for Metafilter and all of you.
posted by mochapickle at 12:21 AM on July 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


Also here are goat babies in pajamas.
posted by mochapickle at 12:23 AM on July 9, 2016 [5 favorites]


Yes, thank you MetaFilter for helping me understand and cope with difficult news. I love the lighthouse analogy, mudpuppie!

And of course thanks for the cute animals. Speaking of cute animals, here's a cartoon from Liz Climo this week. Hang in there, everyone.
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 12:32 AM on July 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


I despise reality TV and I've no interest in sewing but The Great British Sewing Bee is a very calming experience with usually nice people who are completely absorbed in their craft. I recommend it to anyone who is feeling a bit down.
posted by night_train at 12:56 AM on July 9, 2016 [3 favorites]


Lazuli: I hear you on the worry about taking up too much oxygen or centering yourself. However, I think more calls for self-care are important, no matter who is doing it. It is far to easy to forget it is necessary to disengage with suffering, and that doing so doesn't mean one doesn't care; I've been really heartened by the extent to which Gen Y Activists of all stripes have made self-care much more a part of the cycle of activism, instead of pressuring people to power through into burnout.

Focusing on the idea of comfort in, suffering out can help, but a degree of self-doubt is inevitable especially as one becomes privileged along more axes. Another focus can be to take cues from the communities which are suffering; at the current moment, the cross purposes and intersectionality of the tragedies makes that a lot more challenging, and I think increases the degree to which focusing on being kind to as many people as possible is important because of that challenge.
posted by Deoridhe at 12:58 AM on July 9, 2016 [8 favorites]


I don't post a lot, but I am always here, and I love you guys. Usually I am unaffected by current events, but man, this past week or two has been brutal. I have been feeling so crummy, but reading this thread it is nice to know that I am not the only one.
posted by Literaryhero at 8:07 AM on July 9, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think increases the degree to which focusing on being kind to as many people as possible is important because of that challenge.

Oh, absolutely! I am very pro-caring-for-others, and I am very pro-caring-for-self as needed.
posted by lazuli at 8:37 AM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


I just want to thank y'all for being the kind of decent, caring people who make this world worthwhile.

Thanks.
posted by easily confused at 8:48 AM on July 9, 2016 [2 favorites]


> So, I've been lurking/visiting here daily for a little over 10 years, and just recently signed up for an account. This is actually my first comment, I think. Anyway, if it is, I am happy to use it to say I appreciate the hell out of this site and the MeFi community.

And we're happy to have you! Thanks for delurking and adding to the warming nature of this excellent thread.
posted by languagehat at 9:18 AM on July 9, 2016 [7 favorites]


Metafilter: thanks for delurking, y'all.
posted by Namlit at 9:19 AM on July 9, 2016 [9 favorites]


Sometimes the only lesuire time i get is to type a metafilter comment into my phone before I go to sleep. Luckily for you all, many times sleep happens before I'm done. But whenever possible I find a good, under appreciated post and tell the poster it was a good post and it feels in the tiniest most insignificant way like I am helping. Wheeee look at me helping!!!! Lesuire time complete.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 9:39 AM on July 9, 2016 [10 favorites]


Metafilter is definitely my bubble of choice!

Seriously though, the Brexit thread has been absolutely hands down the best source of information in a strange situation and I know many UK mefites are worried about what will happen there. I was telling some friends how well moderated this site is.

The Black Lives Matter thread really was an oasis on Thursday night as events were breaking.

In summary, a welcome respite from angry Uncles on facebook and the crazy randos on twitter.
posted by maggiemaggie at 10:30 AM on July 9, 2016 [5 favorites]


Such a relief to know there's a place I can go for reasoned discourse when needed, and hugs and cute baby animals when that's what's needed. Thanks, ya'll, for being here.
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 10:33 AM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


Here's my rescue dog, wee Max. In case you need some cute. Couldn't get the link to work on my iPad, but you can copy and paste. https://instagram.com/p/BC7h8qAwka0/
posted by Nancy_LockIsLit_Palmer at 10:38 AM on July 9, 2016 [13 favorites]


(I linkified your link, yay pets!)
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 10:49 AM on July 9, 2016 [7 favorites]


Capybaras!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:50 AM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


Thank you for this.

Things have been challenging, both personally and professionally. I took a personal issue to AskMe recently, using a sockpuppet account, and was overwhelmed not only by the very practical suggestions, but the support from the community.

The words of John Donne bear repeating (cut the guy some slack for his white male perspective; he wrote in England in the early 17th century):

....any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee


By the same token, I think reaching out to one person reaches out to us all.
posted by angiep at 11:48 AM on July 9, 2016 [12 favorites]


xoxo and hugs all around.
posted by gt2 at 11:58 AM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


We just went and took a long walk on this beautiful day to the other side of The North Side here to see a bunch of bands at a local free music festival and it made me feel a little better about the world. People are still making art and music and having a good time so things aren't all terrible. I even got to see a band that I used to go see way back in the mid-eighties in State College and even though their hair is gray and/or gone now, they sounded just as good as they did way back when.

You all should go out and have some fun and forget about all the bullshit for a minute at least.
posted by octothorpe at 2:17 PM on July 9, 2016


This yt gets me calm and hopeful. Sleep well, all.

this version gets me going again ...
posted by philip-random at 3:20 PM on July 9, 2016


I had a good day Thursday, because I got to spend time with the grandtwins and the son-in-law returned safely from overseas deployment to our daughter and our other granddaughters; a joyous reunion for all. I was grateful for the chance to "refill" as it were and I hope you all get that too.

I ♥ us all.
posted by Lynsey at 5:00 PM on July 9, 2016 [3 favorites]


I just spent six hours with my best friend, where I pulled out every goddamn Metafilter relationship cliché I could think of to help her deal with her toxic boyfriend. You guys need to communicate more. You can't control his actions, you can only control your reactions to him. How about actually talking to him, for a change? Yes, he sounds like an immature clod. No, I have no idea what his "hi" text means, stop overthinking a plate of beans. Yes, your anxiety is probably not helping the situation, reread The Feeling Good Handbook. No, I have no other suggestions at this point other than DTMFA (repeated a few times). Is being alone really worse than this?

It still didn't stick at the end, but the day would have been a thousand times worse without these Metafilter gems at my fingertips, so thank you!!
posted by Melismata at 6:54 PM on July 9, 2016 [5 favorites]


Poko the cockatiel might cheer you up.
posted by Coaticass at 7:04 PM on July 9, 2016 [4 favorites]


I've been wandering around my neighborhood playing Pokemon Go today, and it's been an unexpected joy after this long week. A young couple who turn out to live on my street identified me as a Pokemon player just after I left the house, and showed me some of the ropes. (I had only started playing hours earlier.) Tons of people were playing in the neighborhood park, and we all have each other knowing "oh, you too" nods. An old friend posted on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to go on a walk looking for Pokemon; I said yes, and wound up having dinner with she and her wife, the first I'd seen them in over a year. We already have tentative plans to hang out again soon.

I hope this enthusiasm keeps up after the initial newness of the game does down.
posted by ActionPopulated at 9:03 PM on July 9, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just like Barack Obama said, anime is real.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 11:39 PM on July 9, 2016


Courtesy of Letters of Note:

North Brooklin, Maine

30 March 1973

Dear Mr. Nadeau:

As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.

Sailors have an expression about the weather: they say, the weather is a great bluffer. I guess the same is true of our human society—things can look dark, then a break shows in the clouds, and all is changed, sometimes rather suddenly. It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man's curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.

Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

Sincerely,

'E. B. White'


On a personal note, saying goodbye to my husband, a police officer, when he goes to work at night is getting much harder lately.
posted by amro at 4:25 AM on July 10, 2016 [24 favorites]


Star-crossed lovers
posted by elgilito at 4:34 AM on July 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Also: I'm drunk.
posted by Gotanda at 4:52 AM on July 10, 2016 [7 favorites]


But seriously, good month or bad month I am grateful to be able to turn to this place. But, in a bad month you really need it.
posted by Gotanda at 4:53 AM on July 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


I went to friends' house last night to watch UFC 200. I like the UFC, I have a pretty decent grasp of strategy and what makes a good fight. I would say that I know more about it than the average casual viewer. They had invited the mansplainiest, most irritating man ever. He kept talking over me when I was commenting on the fights, or contradicting me, or saying what I had said earlier in a flashier way and oooh I was getting angrier and angrier but didn't say anything.

Until the women's bantamweight title fight. As the women were walking out he was commenting on how emasculating it must be for a man to be married to a woman who is stronger than him, and how weird it would be to know that your wife could probably kill you when usually it's the other way around (!!) and I was sitting there flabbergasted and then he asked if I thought that the women fighters had breast implants!!!! And so I finally broke and yelled at him for being misogynistic and the ultimate stereotype of a dumb man sitting and watching fights because he likes violence and seeing people bleed and also boobs - he was the lowest common denominator - and to remember that no matter what he thought about either of their bodies and their breasts, the women fighting could easily snap him in two with them if they wanted to, but they probably wouldn't need to because he was so easily dazzled by ladyparts. And he shut up for the rest of the fight.

Also, I spent the evening with Herman the Pug being dazzlingly in love with me, so all in all, the night ended pretty satisfactorily. I may have been overly mean to that asshole guy, but it was lovely to have an easy target at whom to blow off all the steam I've built up in the past couple of days.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:50 AM on July 10, 2016 [36 favorites]


You go, girl person!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:50 AM on July 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yesterday I went for a walk and ended up on the bike portion of a triathlon course. I stopped at an intersection where a bunch of people were cheering on the cyclists, who were coming up a small but nasty hill. The cyclists all had fancy aerodynamic gear and super serious expressions, except for one guy who wore a huge floppy t-shirt, a cheesy grin, and rode what looked like his dad's ten-speed. He went up that hill like he was having the best day ever. We all lost it. Thank you, Mr. Floppy T-shirt Triathlon Goofball.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 10:14 AM on July 10, 2016 [6 favorites]


If anyone needs cheering, can I direct you to this woman's review of the new Tarzan movie which is clearly the greatest film review of all time?
posted by TwoStride at 10:37 AM on July 10, 2016 [15 favorites]


I just finished a big bowl of vanilla icecream drizzled with toffee sauce.
posted by infini at 11:02 AM on July 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


Thank you TwoStride. Very much. For the V, you know.
posted by infini at 11:04 AM on July 10, 2016 [5 favorites]


Just adding a bit of love here. I read WAY more comments than I post, but I identify so much with this community that it's among the friend groups I think of first when I need to process recent events or gather new information. You all may not know it, but you are my community. Thank you. 💖
posted by mynameisluka at 12:15 PM on July 10, 2016 [3 favorites]


That is hilarious and I would not have seen it but for you, TwoStride. Thank you!
posted by Gyre,Gimble,Wabe, Esq. at 12:44 PM on July 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


Metafilter keeps me sane and I love you all. There's lots of glurge and competing narratives in the local media here in north TX since Dallas happened, don't know what I'd do without this place.
posted by emjaybee at 2:06 PM on July 10, 2016 [3 favorites]


I've been having a 'colorful' week. I wish I had some of these. These, too.
posted by jonmc at 3:17 PM on July 10, 2016


I hardly ever post either but I do want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart (where all the extra-special love is stored). I discovered this site over 15 years ago (!) and I've come here on a regular basis because In know this is where I will find intelligent discussions of world events, creative and entertaining posts that have introduced me to music, films, books, people, and ideas I would have never known about, and yes, baby animals... keep 'em coming! As others have said, when big news hits and crazy things happen, I come here first. I've never known such a wonderful community--online or offline. Thank you. (Oh, and here's a story about a group of people in Salem, Ore. helping ducklings get through downtown.)
posted by WordCannon at 3:38 PM on July 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


I contacted the mods last week to thank them for keeping the Brexit threads on track. They've done a great job, and the discussions on metafilter have been a little place of calm and rational thought, away from some of the craziness of the debates that's happening elsewhere. Doubly hard when we're discussing complex UK specific issues that most of the mods have no background in.

That and the live stream of the bears in Alaska. That's about the only thing keeping me and a lot of my friends from loosing it completely.
posted by Helga-woo at 3:59 PM on July 10, 2016 [6 favorites]


I saw the bacon salad chips at TGT. Several companies make "exclusive flavors" which are sold there and at Walmart.
posted by brujita at 4:35 PM on July 10, 2016


(*as a very long-time member, I come from a VERY different MetaFilter than many of you, and so I am kind of like those people who have lived in New York City too long and miss the pimps and the porno theaters in Times Square.)

Hmm. I've been hanging around here for eleven years, apparently, and I don't quite know what this means. I don't remember there being any porn theaters, for instance, although I do recall the halcyon days of goatse. Now it's all I can do to keep you people off my lawn. That being said, pretty much everything (in moderation) is OK with me, including a little schmoopity-doo when indicated. And god knows 2016 so far has indicated the hell out of some schmoopity.
posted by scratch at 7:23 PM on July 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


*swoops in to whine about missing Amberglow*
posted by infini at 12:48 AM on July 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: everything (in moderation)

Sorry, I just couldn't not schmoophighlight a moderation pun.
posted by Namlit at 3:17 AM on July 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Present. Bad few days, both geopolitically and personally. I'm out of words.
posted by Dashy at 7:47 AM on July 11, 2016


(*as a very long-time member, I come from a VERY different MetaFilter than many of you, and so I am kind of like those people who have lived in New York City too long and miss the pimps and the porno theaters in Times Square.)

I mostly remember the peeing elephants.
posted by octothorpe at 7:57 AM on July 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


I wanted to come on over and personally thank everyone who was so kind to me in the Orlando thread. There was a lot of stuff going on in my head, and what felt like a personal attack on no less than three fronts, and Metafilter was the only place where I felt like I could rant, and rave, and just try to process that much hate without shutting down completely.

(Orlando was three weeks ago. What a freaking terrible month it's been.)
posted by PearlRose at 8:01 AM on July 11, 2016 [6 favorites]


Summers always seem to be hard for me, despite often having lots of fun things happen, and this one is particularly shaking.

However, today, I had the bright spot of adding 4 new MeFi contacts which I could click the "I have met this user in the real world" box, which is a small, wonderful joy, so let me know if you're ever visiting in Chicago or want to have a meetup.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:34 AM on July 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


I just want to thank you for posting this. I am literally nauseous with fear and horror every day this summer, and Metafilter is so nice as just this oasis where people are caring and not trying to knife each other to assure the ascension of an orange god-king.
posted by corb at 10:03 AM on July 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


It has indeed been a hellish year and I have relied on MetaFilter (and puppies) because I don't drink or smoke. I really do genuinely like a lot of you all and I'm glad you're here.
posted by Sophie1 at 11:26 AM on July 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


To paraphrase E.T. to Gertie: Be cool.
posted by y2karl at 11:52 AM on July 11, 2016


Metafilter makes my life better because it allows me to be quiet (and to be reflective) in the company of others who are looking to do that very same thing; we yearn to learn to find resolve, integrity, and justice of perspective on the things that matter to us through shared reality. It is only every so often when am I compelled enough to post: for, the rest of the time, I am humbled and awed by the sheer amount of thought, care, and compassion that blossoms onto this website daily. The MeFi environment is a wellspring to a well-felt, informed life, and the wisdom of its community narrative often makes my inner world a better place.

I look with admiration upon my fellow consciences here... we are made better in our composite. This is a Good Place for that.

Everyone, I wish for your peace and balance of mind in these times. Thank you in kind for what you afford me. You are all loved.
posted by a good beginning at 2:18 PM on July 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


My MeFi peeps on Twitter are sometimes the only thing that makes me smile some days.

@gjcharlet, @kelliebob, @bibliogrrl, @jen_lee, @ankus, @gridlockjoe, @zompus, @weregeek, @collectdust, @mostlymartha, @jay_beans, and a bunch of others. (I'm @mrbill)

Y'all have kept me sane at times.

I still remember getting MeMail almost ten years ago. "Hi, you don't know me, but we're both on Metafilter, and I'm your neighbor two blocks over!" That led to meeting @frannyo and her lovely wife. She's given me some tough love talk at times when I didn't realize until later that I really needed it.

When I need a reminder that genuinely good people exist, I read the bookmarked AskMe threads that I posted about my wife's passing, and Matt's generosity in paying her ER and Ambulance bills out of the blue. (out of the Blue? Did I just make a pun there?). And read through emails and MeMails I got from that time, tons of people I didn't even know, expressing their concern and sympathy. And mailing me mini-pies!
posted by mrbill at 4:08 PM on July 11, 2016 [8 favorites]


This cheers me up quite a bit.
posted by triggerfinger at 5:13 PM on July 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


trying to knife each other to assure the ascension of an orange god-king.

I started to make a Dune joke, but lately these events are getting hard to make even a bleak smile about.
posted by Dip Flash at 6:42 PM on July 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


It has indeed been a hellish year and I have relied on MetaFilter (and puppies)
posted by Sophie1


*cough* I'm sorry, did you say puppies? One assumes you have pictures, yet here we are having to imagine them.
posted by workerant at 8:29 PM on July 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


A silly comic I follow offered a solution to all the bad news: do your own first-hand journalism
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:41 PM on July 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


I will now write a firsthand report about slugs in my yard
posted by Namlit at 12:32 AM on July 12, 2016


I check in rarely and post almost never, but I can't tell you how glad I am that this website exists. As far as I'm concerned right now, you're all wonderful people, and I'm glad to share a planet with you :)
posted by Ducks or monkeys at 6:09 AM on July 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


So, so sorry workerant. Puppies. More puppies. Also chickens. And chicken butt.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:12 AM on July 12, 2016 [6 favorites]


Oh hey, here's a photo of cat-baby and human-baby from casa duffell.
posted by duffell at 8:50 AM on July 12, 2016 [8 favorites]


So out of bandwidth that I've finally caved and started watching Game of Thrones. There are lots of days when I can't bring myself to comment on or even read the news threads, but you're never far from my thoughts.

Can't thank the mods enough.
posted by sallybrown at 8:55 AM on July 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Thank you, metafilter! I was immersed in work during a lot of the most recent horribleness, but just imagining the comfort that checking in with metafilter would bring helped me deal with the news.
posted by ldthomps at 2:28 PM on July 12, 2016


Today's memorial service in Dallas sent me looking for a piece of music I heard. This backstage version of "Total Praise" moved me. Beauty and grace are still in this world, even now.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:47 PM on July 12, 2016


Oh this wonderful community. I'm so thankful it is here. It's kept me going through some difficult times.

Thank you Mefi peeps!
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:43 PM on July 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


This video (from this post) is one of my favourite things ever, especially on days like today.

Thanks for this thread.
posted by randomnity at 5:14 PM on July 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


I found this on the blue some years ago, and it always helps me.
posted by vrakatar at 5:29 PM on July 14, 2016


Whenever I think about Fred Rogers' advice to "look for the helpers", I come here first, because I know there will be helpers here, and for that I am very grateful.
posted by Hermione Granger at 5:35 PM on July 14, 2016 [11 favorites]


Bless you, helpers. Especially when I'm here wondering if the world doesn't deserve nice things.
posted by PearlRose at 6:12 PM on July 14, 2016


This thread and everyone's contributions to it are helpful.

Thank you for helping me and each other.
posted by zennie at 6:40 PM on July 14, 2016


massive gratitude to all of Metafilter, for the puppies, kittens, and capybaras!
posted by fingers_of_fire at 9:35 PM on July 14, 2016


MeFi's been a (refreshingly international) guarantee for sanity, recently - it's such a boon to have a place to come to for the best of the what drives the web and everything else: humanity.

Thanks, all yous.
posted by progosk at 10:58 PM on July 14, 2016 [1 favorite]


Looks like 2016 is the gift that keeps on giving. I can't remember which tragedy this was originally posted for, but can we continue to hide here, play pokemon go, and not think about Paris or Turkey?
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 4:14 PM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Here you go, BIAB: Pets That Are Having The Best Day Ever
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:38 PM on July 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


July alone has been a stunningly bad month! Sterling's murder, then Castile's murder, then the Dallas cops, then Nice yesterday....
posted by Pocahontas at 5:11 PM on July 15, 2016


But I thank Mefi with all my heart. I am a better person because of it, as well as happy that I have this community.
posted by Pocahontas at 5:12 PM on July 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter has gotten me through a lot of rough times and has been a tremendous source of knowledge, wisdom, hilarity and (most of all) sincere, thoughtful discussion. Thank you so much, everyone.
posted by ostranenie at 9:10 PM on July 15, 2016


But regarding capybaras...
With their super sharp teeth, a capybara bite can be quite nasty," said Ms. Typaldos. "Caplin Rous went through a very aggressive stage when he was about nine months old and 70 lbs or so where he was constantly attacking me. This came on very suddenly with an initial bite that took out a quarter sized piece of my thigh. Over the course of a month or so we worked through it with my gradual realization that I was not the dominant party in our relationship. Once that was settled, he went back to his previous, lovable self. I don't think many people would have had the patience to go through that. Caplin was also always a little territorial. He didn't mind visitors as long as they didn't stay too long. Generally a day or two was okay but after more than that, he would start to threaten them. On the other hand, he was great when we were out and about town, never displaying any aggression at all, no matter how badly he was provoked...

Because capybaras can potentially be aggressive, Ms. Typaldos doesn't recommend them to families with children younger than early teens...
Exotic Pets: Capybaras aren't for everyone
posted by y2karl at 8:24 AM on July 17, 2016 [1 favorite]




Well, from the evidence, they like other animals fine, if that is any help.
posted by y2karl at 9:38 PM on July 17, 2016


« Older The best of Metafilter compilation*   |   Any interest in a MeFi day of service or... Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments