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May 2, 2020 9:45 AM

“I like turtles.”
posted by Fizz to MetaFilter-Related at 9:45 AM (52 comments total)

I could have dropped my croissant
posted by nightrecordings at 9:50 AM on May 2, 2020 [9 favorites]

I love the I Like Turtles kid, but I've always liked that clip even more for having been a hometown moment; the nature of that clip as a local affiliate station reporter trying to get some easy fodder at the waterfront carnival and just being blasted by some unfettered weird kid bullshit warms my damp Portland bones.

It's no exploding whale, but that's probably for the best.
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:04 AM on May 2, 2020 [16 favorites]

Unfortunately this only reminds me of Daniel Tosh because he had this kid on his show. And reminds me I used to watch that terrible show.
posted by Glinn at 10:23 AM on May 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

you got this travis
posted by Going To Maine at 10:33 AM on May 2, 2020 [15 favorites]

“OMG they were roommates.”
posted by Fizz at 10:35 AM on May 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

Why is this in MetaTalk? This is FPP material.
posted by Tehhund at 10:46 AM on May 2, 2020 [4 favorites]

To round out this FPP: Diplo also liked turtles, and maybe this guy only knew the turtles kid from Diplo's mix (description: "Dressed up as diplo for halloween," but he's clearly Jonathon Ware).

I was rather Diplo obsessed, too, so I bought both versions of that mix, just to put both versions into Discogs, and hoping that there'd be some difference between the audio in the versions. (I also looked up information on the kid and the reporter, so I could accurately credit them both. Then MetaFilter replaced my Discogs obsession ;) )

Final unnecessary bit of information: MySpace still exists, and pretends it will play the audio for you. Instead, they linked to the older guy dressing up as Jonathan/ Diplo for Halloween. For every. single. track. Computers working hard, so you don't have to! ;)
posted by filthy light thief at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Because yer moves r weak
posted by dobbs at 11:21 AM on May 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Oh, please keep going you guys. I spent the morning crying and this is the cure.
posted by HotToddy at 11:22 AM on May 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

Turtles turtles, rah rah rah
posted by sammyo at 11:23 AM on May 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

The I like turtles kid is an adult by now.
posted by octothorpe at 11:29 AM on May 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

The I like turtles kid is an adult by now.

Metro News did an interview with him back in 2016. He had a YouTube channel and he's just a chill gamer. He describes himself as a teen with ‘really bad hair’ and’ an annoying voice’. The YouTube channel no longer exists.
posted by Fizz at 11:51 AM on May 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

Enjoys long walks on the beach
posted by Ahmad Khani at 11:55 AM on May 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

> MySpace still exists, and pretends it will play the audio for you. Instead, they linked to the older guy dressing up as Jonathan/ Diplo for Halloween. For every. single. track. Computers working hard, so you don't have to! ;)

It might have to do with MySpace losing twelve years of music files.
posted by ardgedee at 12:57 PM on May 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Oh, please keep going you guys. I spent the morning crying and this is the cure.

“I’ll take ‘Things That You Might Hear On A Goth Podcast Shortly Before They Play Disintegration’ for $600, Alex.”
posted by Ghidorah at 12:57 PM on May 2, 2020 [30 favorites]

To round out this FPP: Diplo also liked turtles, and maybe this guy only knew the turtles kid from Diplo's mix (description: "Dressed up as diplo for halloween," but he's clearly Jonathon Ware).

Hah! I also strongly associate “I Like Turtles” with that Diplo mix - the one with “Umbrella” was I believe posted to Pitchfork as some kind of official mix and then disappeared. I had no idea that another variant existed, and now I must hunt down both it and that Diplo Fabriclive mix linked on Discogs.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:58 PM on May 2, 2020

Fenton!
posted by ActingTheGoat at 2:08 PM on May 2, 2020 [11 favorites]

The maple kind, yeah!
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:48 PM on May 2, 2020 [10 favorites]

I know it's not actually true, but I like to believe that the "I Like Turtles" kid grew up to be AEW wrestler Darby Allin,
posted by Ipsifendus at 3:03 PM on May 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Touche.
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:31 PM on May 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Touche' is too cool by half to be relatable. Tudor Turtle for the regular guy. "Help, Mister Wizard! I don't want to be a (fireman, sheriff, soldier, etc." anymore!"
posted by coppertop at 6:11 PM on May 2, 2020

All right, slightly off topic but I'm taking this thread to be Metatalktails-adjacent. And what is going on with Metatalktails? Can anyone start one? Are we on a different schedule that I don't know about? Anyway I had a really hard day today, first I got super mad at my sweetie (because he was legit being a self-absorbed asshole, just want that in the record), then I decided today was finally the day to put away all of my late dog's ribbons which felt an awful lot like laying him in his grave and brought endless floods of tears, and then I binge watched Normal People and had very sad insights and more floods of tears. All with PMS. And not normal PMS, perimenopausal PMS, which is going to kill me, pretty sure.

But! I made tahini chocolate blondies and they are delicious. I have a bit of an anti-sweet tooth so the bitterness of the tahini really appeals. Also despite all my quarantine baking and lack of exercise due to my extremely fucked neck and shoulder, I've lost 5 lbs!

If you have watched Normal People, please answer this: In the trailer there's a scene where Marianne is vehemently saying "You mean NOTHING to me" but I didn't see that in any of the episodes. Did you?
posted by HotToddy at 8:43 PM on May 2, 2020 [6 favorites]

Look at all those chickens
posted by mogget at 9:22 PM on May 2, 2020 [3 favorites]

RE Metatalktails- They usually seem to go up Saturdays, in the timezone that is not mine, so I usually see them late Sunday night, if not Monday. They seem to be mod started. :) But anyone can try and start a metatalk thread, if you want a thread like this one, it's worth a shot!
posted by freethefeet at 9:28 PM on May 2, 2020

I'm a sssssnake. A slippery, sneaky, snake.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:31 PM on May 2, 2020 [1 favorite]

Less than a decade old, so it may be too new: Sexy Sax Man - Careless Whisper (2013). He crashed some show, too.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:35 PM on May 2, 2020 [2 favorites]

I don't know how I've never seen Sexy Sax man before but that was amazing.
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 9:45 PM on May 2, 2020

Because yer moves r weak

That was a roller coaster.
posted by bendy at 11:34 PM on May 2, 2020

This has been wonderful.
posted by Dumsnill at 12:35 AM on May 3, 2020

Thank you for this. "I like turtles" is a phrase I say A LOT and no one understands the reference, which works in a meta way but often makes me question if I lived through a different decade than other folks.
posted by tofu_crouton at 6:59 AM on May 3, 2020 [4 favorites]

You know, I could very VERY easily be the dude in the "Fenton" video with my pup. I had nothing but empathy for that poor owner.
posted by maxwelton at 11:33 AM on May 3, 2020 [1 favorite]

Twenty years or so ago I was hiring summer staff for my workplace. I dunno if it was the job market that year or we had just somehow wound up scooping up a lot of overqualified people, but this was for front desk in a youth hostel and among the applicants I interviewed were a lawyer and a dentist, both of whom were looking to change career paths. As well, there were a few budding executroid types whose starting salary expectation was about three times what the job actually paid (and about twice my own). I went back into the resumes and looked again for people who might be closer to the target demographic -- our usual summer staff were university students.

I set up a few more interviews with people and, as as a side note, ended up getting some good staff that year. On the other hand... one guy came in for his interview a bit early and a front desk staffer came and got me: "There's a guy out front named Paul, says he is here for an interview. He looks like he's about twelve."

Paul was in fact eighteen, but a very young-looking eighteen. On the bright side, he had no previous full-time job, so I thought his expectations could be managed. When we sat down to talk, I sensed he seemed a little nervous, so after greeting him and asking of he had any trouble finding the place and the like, I asked him a wide-open question for him to say anything he liked: "So, Paul, tell me a bit about yourself."

He sat in trembling silence for ten seconds, then fifteen, then maybe twenty. Then he finally said, "I like Transformers."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:25 PM on May 3, 2020 [12 favorites]

And.......? DID YOU HIRE PAUL?
posted by medusa at 8:33 PM on May 3, 2020 [7 favorites]

Seconding. What happened with Paul?
posted by amtho at 3:58 AM on May 4, 2020

I did not hire Paul. It occurs to me that Paul must be nearing forty by now. I wonder how his life has proceeded.

I think that was the same summer I had someone apply who refused to tell us her surname. A nicely laid-out CV with just, say, JESSICA T. at the top.

I didn’t hire her either.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:38 AM on May 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

I want to believe that you let Paul down easy and told him it was more of a Go-Bots type work space to soften the rejection in a way he'd understand.
posted by gusottertrout at 4:59 AM on May 4, 2020 [7 favorites]

I think that was the same summer I had someone apply who refused to tell us her surname. A nicely laid-out CV with just, say, JESSICA T. at the top.

I didn’t hire her either.

When I was 20 I managed a Major Video (large chain in Canada). I interviewed a teenager who put her middle initial on her resume.

"What's the C stand for?" I asked.

"Cocksucker," she said.

I've often wondered where life took her in the 30+ years since that day.
posted by dobbs at 5:09 AM on May 4, 2020 [10 favorites]

One of my all-time favorites: OOBE.
posted by dobbs at 5:13 AM on May 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Every post in this thread mentions something I've never heard about. I feel thoroughly out of place.
posted by Too-Ticky at 6:42 AM on May 4, 2020 [2 favorites]

How to park your Porsche In Vancouver always gives me that rosy glow of hope for the future of humanity.
posted by flabdablet at 6:57 AM on May 4, 2020 [3 favorites]

As does this bloke dancing like only 686 people are watching.
posted by flabdablet at 7:10 AM on May 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

I want to believe that you let Paul down easy and told him it was more of a Go-Bots type work space to soften the rejection in a way he'd understand.

“You seem like a nice lad, but I’m afraid we’re kind of a Voltron sort of work environment. I’m not sure you’d be happy here.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:18 AM on May 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Every post in this thread mentions something I've never heard about. I feel thoroughly out of place.

Think of it more as bursting on to the scene.
posted by cortex (staff) at 8:33 AM on May 4, 2020 [5 favorites]

and a round a round

really just all of bo burnham's vines make me feel better
posted by lazaruslong at 10:00 AM on May 4, 2020 [3 favorites]

Here's a monkey on a motorcycle attempting to abduct a toddler.
posted by dobbs at 10:54 AM on May 4, 2020 [1 favorite]

Then I don’t need a jacket.
posted by snofoam at 11:47 AM on May 5, 2020 [4 favorites]

I think that was the same summer I had someone apply who refused to tell us her surname. A nicely laid-out CV with just, say, JESSICA T. at the top.

I didn’t hire her either.

I don't use my last name in resumes because it's very obviously ethnic and I get enough people assuming I can't speak English because of it. I've noticed my interview rates went up after I did that.
posted by divabat at 3:55 PM on May 5, 2020 [3 favorites]

It seems ridiculous to me that a potential employer would reject someone out of hand based on where their great-grandparents were from, but racists gonna racist. But I should clarify that this was someone who a couple of the then-current staff knew and she refused to reveal her surname to then as well. She may have been going for a Madonna/Cher/Prince kinda thing, I dunno.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:16 PM on May 5, 2020 [1 favorite]

WWDD? (What Would Donovan Do?)

Just Butter It, apparently.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:35 PM on May 5, 2020

I think that was the same summer I had someone apply who refused to tell us her surname. A nicely laid-out CV with just, say, JESSICA T. at the top.

Have you considered that it might have been a cat named Jessi? [singing] Oh I wish that I had hired Jessi Cat! [/singing]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:28 PM on May 5, 2020 [1 favorite]

You must build a turtle fence.
posted by plinth at 5:49 AM on May 7, 2020

GOD HAVE MERCY! HELP ME!
posted by dobbs at 6:30 PM on May 11, 2020 [1 favorite]