How can I contact a member with no email shown?

November 21, 2002 7:25 AM

Okay - I need some help. There is a member here who I would like to contact privately to ask a question without derailing a blue thread. Unfortunately, this member has not provided an email address on their user page. [more inside...]
posted by Irontom to Etiquette/Policy at 7:25 AM (36 comments total)

This user had a diaryland page at one point, and there is a way to leave a note for them there, but the user's last entry was back in February.

I am not a stalker, I am not insane, and do my very best to be polite (and yes, I have fallen down big sometimes, thank you very much). I just want to find out if this user shares a geeky, non-illegal interest, since they live very close to me geographically.

So, do I just skip it? Or is there some way for me to courteously breach this wall of anonymity?
posted by Irontom at 7:25 AM on November 21, 2002

They don't have an e-mail listed for a reason. I'd go ahead and leave a note on the diaryland page, but I wouldn't hope for much. Some people don't want the Mefi experience to go beyond the blue (and the brownish gray).
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 7:29 AM on November 21, 2002

Just name them here and get it done and over with.

Jebus.
posted by Frasermoo at 8:03 AM on November 21, 2002

Why don't you just leave a brief note in [small] font in the blue asking him/her to e-mail you. Or have you done this? If they don't want to talk to you, they have the option then. Or, you could create a MeTa thread, I guess.
posted by Shane at 8:06 AM on November 21, 2002

What.
The.
Fyck.
Irontom
?
(No offense, I just always wanted to do that WTF? thing. Woohoo! That felt kinda good. Anyone else think Fyck sounds vaguely Chaucerian? I like.)
posted by Shane at 8:16 AM on November 21, 2002

Look I told you back in February, Tom, I'm not into Reptilian Hobbyist groups, OK! Quit asking already!
posted by Pollomacho at 8:29 AM on November 21, 2002

He's been pestering you, too, huh?
posted by crunchland at 8:46 AM on November 21, 2002

Reptilian? What tha . . . Tom, I thought you said you were a FURRY !!
posted by jeremias at 9:08 AM on November 21, 2002

Somebody putting together a reptile hobbyist's group? Great! Maybe we should invite mcwetboy, though - he'll feel all hurt if he's not included.
posted by yhbc at 9:45 AM on November 21, 2002

No thanks, I brung my own (in case some of you were wondering).
posted by mcwetboy at 9:48 AM on November 21, 2002

Why don't you just leave a brief note in [small] font in the blue asking him/her to e-mail you. Or have you done this? If they don't want to talk to you, they have the option then.

Don't turn the site into personals, please.

I don't know what to tell you Tom, I guess search all you can to find that email. I'm sure they dropped it on their diaryland page at one point. If you can't see it, check the Internet Archive for old versions of their diaryland page.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 9:54 AM on November 21, 2002

I had pretty much rejected Shane's recommendation for the same reason you quoted.

I have been digging around this morning, but hadnt thought of the Internet Archive. Thanks Mat.
posted by Irontom at 9:58 AM on November 21, 2002

"Hi. I want to contact someone who has explicitly kept their contact info secret. What should I do?"

Respect their privacy? Mind your own business?
posted by y6y6y6 at 10:09 AM on November 21, 2002

Don't turn the site into personals, please.

Well, obviously my reasoning was that one short "Would you please e-mail me?" sentence in small font wouldn't disrupt MeFi anymore than the usual banter about vibrating turkeys and reptiles. But I see your point, Matt.
posted by Shane at 10:32 AM on November 21, 2002

Vibrating turkeys? Damn, and I just spent all my pocket money on that baseball shirt.
posted by ginz at 10:42 AM on November 21, 2002

oh man, mefi personals. that would be king.

as in fucking awful.

as in awfully great.

i'm really undecided here.


posted by fishfucker at 10:49 AM on November 21, 2002

Just do what I did for personals that would attract a MeFite:

Join Nerve, and then in the [blank] is sexy, but [blank] is sexier section, fill in Matt Haughey and Jason Kottke.

Worked for me!
posted by keli at 11:29 AM on November 21, 2002

oh man, mefi personals. that would be king.
You: Sleek and fast like a silverfish, left the cafe in a huff because it was quicker than a taxi. Me: covered in my own drool and biscotti crumbs. Got to get you into my life. Pls respond care of this website.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:36 AM on November 21, 2002

Oh dear. I believe the dogs of war have been let slip.
posted by witchstone at 12:43 PM on November 21, 2002

I believe the dogs of war have been let slip.

The Hounds of Love maybe? Evidently PersonalsFilter is on its way.
posted by Shane at 12:52 PM on November 21, 2002

Can see it now:
Vibrating Fuckwit seeks Pancake Overlord for
WHAT
THE
FUCK
posted by mss at 1:40 PM on November 21, 2002

Pastel-suited jackal seeks same.

(now there's an in-joke we haven't seen in a while...)
posted by ook at 2:11 PM on November 21, 2002

Me: covered in my own drool and biscotti crumbs.

Oi! I can't help that!
posted by biscotti at 2:28 PM on November 21, 2002

We're about 2 steps away in the evolution of a community from the first Metafilter Wedding. As we learned in a recent thread, we have plenty of ministers on hand. I call dibs on Flower Girl. Now all we need is for someone to propose to another Metafilter member in a long sappy Metatalk post.
posted by Stan Chin at 2:35 PM on November 21, 2002

Stan, there's been something i've been meaning to say...ummm,....well....will you marry me? ; o
posted by amberglow at 4:41 PM on November 21, 2002

Wasn't there a proposal on MeFi/MeTa? I remember there was one last year.
posted by riffola at 6:09 PM on November 21, 2002

Vibrating Fuckwit seeks Pancake Overlord for
WHAT
THE
FUCK

I am not a Vibrating Fuckwit!!!

and I still say Ben Brown is sexier than both
posted by Mick at 6:28 PM on November 21, 2002

mlang was the first to propose on MeTa.
posted by riffola at 6:48 PM on November 21, 2002

will you marry me?

Depends on how deceptive of a drag queen you are. If I can't tell the difference, sure.
posted by Stan Chin at 7:08 PM on November 21, 2002

Frigid fryer seeks literate, boozy Portuguese with an encyclopedic knowledge of sex and a penchant for apelike buggery. No Thundersluts.
posted by ColdChef at 7:22 PM on November 21, 2002

Damn. I've got everything but the Portuguese part covered, Chef....
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:26 PM on November 21, 2002

*swoon*
Here I am!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:29 PM on November 21, 2002

Sorry, Miguel. I won't fall for your velvet eyes a third time.

And, despite the rumors, photos and signed affidavits, I'm not down with poultry poundin'.
posted by ColdChef at 7:35 PM on November 21, 2002

Hey IronTom - not trying to flatter myself but was it me? I posted on the Bobby Fischer thread about playing a game of chess with anybody who was interested, said for them to email me, and then noticed a day later my email address is not in my profile. D'oh! I live in Seattle. My profile now has my email in it.
posted by vito90 at 8:06 PM on November 21, 2002

oh Stan--we'll always have sexy gay robots *sigh*
posted by amberglow at 10:48 PM on November 21, 2002

vito90 -

Sorry, it wasn't you. I live in the DC/VA metro area, although I do love Seattle.

I'd have been much more direct if there was already an invitiation presented in a thread.
posted by Irontom at 7:10 AM on November 22, 2002