Comments on: Anonymous AskMe

Anonymous AskMe

weston — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:27:10 -0800

I have a question I think I want to Ask Metafilter, but I want to do it anonymously. (How) should I do this?

By: pieoverdone

pieoverdone — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:28:08 -0800

I think it's too late for you, weston.

By: LittleMissCranky

LittleMissCranky — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:29:13 -0800

Just sack up and ask it?

By: orange swan

orange swan — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:29:58 -0800

You could claim it's "for a friend".

That is, you could have, until this thread, which has wised us up.

By: weston

weston — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:32:50 -0800

I think it's too late for you, weston.

7/10 career counselors, therapists, and clergymen agree. But what about my question?

By: weston

weston — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:34:27 -0800

And posting "for a friend" is the ROT13 of anonymity... hoping for something better.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:37:38 -0800

Email someone who has no shame and ask them to post it.

I suggest Miguel.

By: lnicole

lnicole — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:39:55 -0800

get a MeFite that you trust (and who has no shame, depending on what the question is) to post it for you... ?

on preview, crunchland took the first name out of my mouth! i was thinking Miguel too

By: pieoverdone

pieoverdone — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:41:40 -0800

Weston dear, I said it was too late because you'd already outed yourself the hypothetical anonymous AskMe poster.

By: chaz

chaz — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:46:33 -0800

weston-- it's a white pasty cream, and yes you do need to get a prescription. Don't delay.

By: fvw

fvw — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:50:25 -0800

Probably, you wait for Matt to finish AskMeFi proper, and it'll have some sort of accommodation for this problem. In the meantime, don't scratch at it and if it gets worse, see a doctor. And for heaven's sake don't sleep with her again.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:53:21 -0800

I would have suggested that you ask some other user that you know and trust with the information to make the askme on your behalf -- as in "Another user asked me to ask this question...". Maybe even Matt would be willing to do so, if he only got these requests once every few months.

But now we'll know, if we see one of these, that it's Weston that's the filthy pervert looking to get the EWW! out of his Cthulhu-in-an-SS-uniform fursuit.

And indeed the magic words are always DISCONTINUE USE IF RASH DEVELOPS.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:57:22 -0800

Get someone not mentioned in this thread to ask the question as if it applied to themselves.

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 11:59:42 -0800

Considering the stuff that gets talked about around here, how bad could the question be?

By: clavdivs

clavdivs — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 12:03:36 -0800

well you could....{hears knuckles being cracked}
you could tell me in this thread. I will not tell anyone.
i will then posit the question on my own accord. i can assure you, an askme post will yield results.
there is no need to an immediate reply, you have 30 days in which to do so. If you wish to tell me/us privately this can be arranged through a predesignated back channel.
mefi#. for example. In the right hands this question will go through a transfer of almost unbeseeming ambiguity thus confidence in the post can be almost guaranteed.

thank you.
and good luck.

Y.Y Yearnings,
corroboratory co-vice alternate branch 4D/11, Office of Personnel, Kastle Insurance and Casualty.

By: xmutex

xmutex — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 12:57:10 -0800

Just be sure to chop the body before trying to ram it all down in the garbage disposal.

And give yourself a few hours.

By: ashbury

ashbury — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 13:07:25 -0800

A friend of mine has read of your problem and suggested to me that you could get a new account, since sign-ups are open, ask your question, then never use the account again or better yet, you could could then sell the account on Ebay. Sounds good, eh? Eh? *nudge nudge, wink wink*

By: amberglow

amberglow — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 13:16:24 -0800

Just be sure to chop the body before trying to ram it all down in the garbage disposal.

And give yourself a few hours.

And DON'T try to flush it--it never works ; >

I'll ask if you want, weston--email me

By: inksyndicate

inksyndicate — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 13:22:25 -0800

I'll post it.

By: wendell

wendell — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 13:33:52 -0800

You do realize, weston, that for the next several days (if not weeks), several thousand MeFites will assume that EVERY AskMe post from inksyndicate, amberglow, ashbury, xmutex, clavdivs, konolia, Eternal Bligh, ROU_Xenophobe, fvw, chaz, pieoverdone, lnicole, crunchland, Orange Swan, LittleMissCranky, Miguel Cardoso, mathowie OR me is actually about you.

My suggestion: Chop up YOUR body before trying to ram it all down in the garbage disposal.

By: 111

111 — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 13:46:22 -0800

Ask a priest, a doctor or a lawyer.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 13:53:13 -0800

I'll eventually code a way to do things anonymously, but they'll require my personal approval, so that overly illegal/silly/dangerous things don't get posted.

By: i_cola

i_cola — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:24:49 -0800

Handling stolen goods eh? ;-)

By: naxosaxur

naxosaxur — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:25:10 -0800

Why don't you try wearing a wig, sunglasses, and a fake mustache while posting?

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:33:41 -0800

weston, it's your baPLOOOMPF

By: devon

devon — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:49:14 -0800

So now if anyone wants to post any embarrassing questions and deny responsibility, they can just blame weston

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:49:55 -0800

off topic, you know it's actually really really hard to get rid of a dead body. A long time ago (don't remember where or I'd post it) there was a website that described what happened as far as decomposition goes, including what happens when a body is in water a long time, or in a coffin. Gruesome yet fascinating at the same time.

And no, I have no personal experience with the task.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 14:59:49 -0800

And no, I have no personal experience with the task.

Aw, and you always tease us about your wild life pre-Jesus...c'mon--it was you, wasn't it? you can tell us. ; >

By: wendell

wendell — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:02:52 -0800

I don't know about konnie's personal experience, but that episode of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" where the head was found in the ice bucket was a classic...

By: anathema

anathema — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:16:54 -0800

Email someone who has no shame and ask them to post it.
I suggest Miguel.

Dry and heavy.

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:26:22 -0800

If I was a bastard I'd go post an embarrassing question about "a friend" right now and weston would never sufficiently recover.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:32:12 -0800

It's tempting, isn't it?

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:34:40 -0800

...or how about: "A friend of mine wants to know if there are serious medical risks associated with penile reduction surgery? Does anyone know anyone who's had this done? It's a difficult condition to talk about (penis giganticus) because people think you're bragging and don't realize how embarassing it really is."

By: tittergrrl

tittergrrl — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:48:51 -0800

"Dear AskMeFi.... I never thought something like this could ever happen to my friend, and I'd be writing to you about it, but...."

By: Feisty

Feisty — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:50:54 -0800

What if Weston is asking this question on behalf of someone else?

By: The God Complex

The God Complex — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:54:50 -0800

What if Weston is asking this question on behalf of someone else?

*opens mouth to speak*

*closes mouth*

*head implodes into nothingness*

By: karmaville

karmaville — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 15:58:51 -0800

konolia:
The Body Farm

Main page ok, others NSFW, death and decomposition.

By: Dasein

Dasein — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 17:25:40 -0800

Alright, konolia, out with it. Where's Jimmy Hoffa?

By: amberglow

amberglow — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 17:34:43 -0800

Forget about Hoffa--where's WolfDaddy and Troybob? Have you been offing my people?

By: wendell

wendell — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:27:08 -0800

Hey look! The MeFi buffet is serving Soylent Green!

By: wendell

wendell — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:28:59 -0800

Speaking of AskMeFi, do any of you know whatever happened to the bodies of Dear Abby and Ann Landers?

By: MiguelCardoso

MiguelCardoso — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:33:21 -0800

Email someone who has no shame and ask them to post it. I suggest Miguel.

Unless it involves a ridiculous Flash thingy (able to be described in no more than three short words) for those recent, illiterate computer owners who find themselves confronting puberty and going through hell because of it - in which case contact crunchland. Between the both us, it's safe to say we can deal with all requests. In fact, that's what we're here for. :)

By: amberglow

amberglow — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:36:13 -0800

Hey look! The MeFi buffet is serving Soylent Green!

*gags and spits out food, looks at it, and cries*

By: fvw

fvw — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:37:58 -0800

*fvw requests As Time Goes By and waits for someone to have a hissy fit.*

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:49:15 -0800

amber, that ain't soylent nuthin'.

thems is wendell-chops. and wendell chops is good eatin', I tell you what.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 20:10:12 -0800

Forget about Hoffa--where's WolfDaddy and Troybob? Have you been offing my people?

I'm imagining amberglow as a gay La Cosa Nostra capo, now. And it's not a pretty sight.

By: weston

weston — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 20:25:47 -0800

Wow. Just wow. I can't believe how many people have volunteered to post via proxy for me. I'm gonna have to think up a dozen weird questions just to use you all.

Thanks!

By: amberglow

amberglow — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 20:34:10 -0800

anytime, weston

now, what's with the jrun errors tonight?

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 21:36:40 -0800

I don't want to admit being slow-witted, but is the general insinuation of these last few messages something along the lines of the porking of chops, and not porkchops?

By: weston

weston — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 22:58:57 -0800

amberglow, that wasn't the question I wanted you to ask...

By: deborah

deborah — Mon, 19 Apr 2004 23:42:32 -0800

Speaking of AskMeFi, do any of you know whatever happened to the bodies of Dear Abby and Ann Landers?

I'll assume *cough* this is a serious question.

Ann Landers was cremated and scattered over Lake Michigan (illegally per her daughter, aka: Dear Prudence). Dear Abby is alive but suffering from Alzheimers (DA's daughter is the current author of the DA column).

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 09:13:18 -0800

I know, weston--i'm ready for your question anytime : >

(but really, has anyone else had probs getting in here since last night?)

By: fvw

fvw — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 09:18:39 -0800

Yeah, it appeared down for me the hours around midday (european time).

By: AwkwardPause

AwkwardPause — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 09:53:53 -0800

weston, got anything to do with your new iPod?

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 09:59:29 -0800

thanks, fvw--how's the survey going? when will we see the results?

By: mecran01

mecran01 — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 10:14:17 -0800

the body/disposal thing is one of the lamer methods for hiding the goods. I'd recommend the preferred choice of Southern mobsters, a bathtub of lye!

By: petebest

petebest — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 10:58:20 -0800

Is it Egypt?

I'm gonna guess Egypt.

By: matteo

matteo — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 11:26:26 -0800

and you always tease us about your wild life pre-Jesus

no, actually she's talking about the after-Jesus part: I hear she recently disposed of a few infidels' (ie secular) corpses

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 12:01:47 -0800

It actually happens to lots of guys.
No that doesnt make you look fat.
Yes, that is racism, even if it's a joke.
No. Yes. No. Yes. Sort of. Yeah. No!
Jesus, that was offensive question!

Lame post!

and

HAVENT WE ANSWERED THIS BEFORE?

By: konolia

konolia — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 12:24:51 -0800

Too much information.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 12:31:13 -0800

Corpse Leakage?!? It reminds me of the fact that, when I had Congestive Heart Failure, the hospital drained over 30 pounds of excess water from me in a week... Excuse me, I gotta pee...

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 13:01:04 -0800

Corpse Leakage?!?

That's the new death metal band from Denmark, right?

By: taz

taz — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 13:43:26 -0800

MetaAsking about AskMe:

"You got your zombies in my anonymous post!"

"No! You got your anonymous bits in my zombies thread!"

By: weston

weston — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:00:56 -0800

OK, I'm going to perform one more trick today: I've received so many offers to post via proxy that what I've decided to do is... serve as a proxy broker. If anybody else has a question they'd like to ask anonymously, email me, and we'll see if we can match the needs of your question to a volunteer proxy... CALL NOW! Operators are standing buy! Moneyback guarantee!

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:03:49 -0800

cool--great idea, weston : >

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:24:46 -0800

oh, but what about your post?

By: gleuschk

gleuschk — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:37:41 -0800

He'll slip it in as one of the "proxy" posts and have it end up anonymous anyway -- even from the person who posts it! Devious, man.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 17:40:41 -0800

ahhh...smart kid, that weston.

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Tue, 20 Apr 2004 21:37:26 -0800

Or he'll just ask the question himself, insisting that he has just decided that, instead of passing it on, he'll just go ahead and act as the proxy. So we come full circle, where he can now post "A fellow anonymous mefite woke up wth this huge..." and we are left to wonder.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 21 Apr 2004 10:40:22 -0800

A fellow anonymous mefite woke up wth this huge...
pus-filled boil?
raging erection?
tarantula sitting on his chest a la Peter Brady in Hawaii?

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 21 Apr 2004 11:44:02 -0800

A fellow anonymous mefite woke up with this huge...
stain on the bedsheets?
deadline?
pizza?
phone bill?
horde of zombies busting through the door?
SUV?
ugly person of the opposite sex?
ugly person of the same sex?
ugly dog?
unidentified download?
buddy list?
job offer from Donald Trump?
terrorist cell hiding out in my bathroom?
scar and a note from someone saying 'thanks for the kidney'?
appetite for destruction?

please....
somebody....
stop me....

By: yhbc

yhbc — Wed, 21 Apr 2004 18:26:37 -0800

... tract of land?

/Python