please don't do this

July 7, 2004 3:48 PM

I'm a thread trying to call attention to myself. Unbelievable.
posted by ed to Etiquette/Policy at 3:48 PM (38 comments total)

Are you? I don't see you there.
posted by reklaw at 3:54 PM on July 7, 2004

looks like it succeded.
posted by jonmc at 3:54 PM on July 7, 2004

I'd just like to shoot from the hip and note for my fans that I hope you lose your posting privileges for even bringing this up, ed. Obviously everyone feels as I do, so I won't bother with any supporting arguments. Man, what is *WITH* those uppity black folks, anyway, asserting their basic rights?
posted by planetkyoto at 3:57 PM on July 7, 2004

ungitimated mall!
posted by bargle at 4:02 PM on July 7, 2004

By virtue of being posted to the public, don't all threads call attention to themselves?
posted by dhoyt at 4:03 PM on July 7, 2004

I'm a thread trying to call attention to myself.

Can you do a little better than this, please? Clearly, there's editorializing in the post, but what exactly is the complaint that led you to call it out here. Your MeTa post is incomprehensible. All posts seek to draw attention to themselves, and inasmuch as newsfucking is smiled upon here, this post is just more of the same.
posted by scarabic at 4:03 PM on July 7, 2004

planetkyoto, no offense, but what the everloving fuck are you talking about?
posted by jonmc at 4:07 PM on July 7, 2004 [1 favorite]

Exquisite corpse time!

First line:

"Well, today turned out to be a real MetaTalk strokefest," announced Dr. Sven Malaria to his wife as he wearily hung his hat on the rack by the front door. "After a day like this, I sure could use some..."

{pass}
posted by dhoyt at 4:18 PM on July 7, 2004

You're twisting my melon, man.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:25 PM on July 7, 2004

{recieve}

"..Bone Suckin' Mustard to put on these delicious White Castle burgers, but first, Darling Labia, fetch the slaves, I need to clean my..."

{pass}
posted by jonmc at 4:27 PM on July 7, 2004

till the juice runs down your leg?
posted by quonsar at 4:27 PM on July 7, 2004

quonsar, quit squeezing my lemon.
posted by BlueTrain at 4:31 PM on July 7, 2004

Posts call attention to themselves, of course, but this FPP was about the poster calling undue attention to his own unsupported opinion. This call for international observers, while it may be a bit melodramatic, is about disenfranchisement of black voters, which still is going on according to the investigations noted in Oxydude's link. He makes no assertion as to why we should agree with him.

I don't agree with anyone asking, "Oxydude, who the fuck are you?" but it's been a few hours and the guy still hasn't posted one reason why these black lawmakers shouldn't be up in arms.
posted by planetkyoto at 4:42 PM on July 7, 2004

Jonmc, my comments to ed were, I suppose, badly played heavy sarcasm.
posted by planetkyoto at 4:44 PM on July 7, 2004

You're twisting my melon, man.

Hey rainmaker, come away from that man / you know he's gonna take away your promised land / hey good lady he just wants what you got / you know he'll never stop until he's taken the lot...
posted by scody at 4:56 PM on July 7, 2004

{receive}

"..exquisite collection of preserved foreskin, lest Ulfred get snippy with me for not preserving the family jewel cast-offs. Which reminds me, whatever happened to Aunt Helga and her fabulous auto-stretching...."

{pass}
posted by lazaruslong at 6:14 PM on July 7, 2004

...but this FPP was about the poster calling undue attention to his own unsupported opinion.

The nerve of him.

I'll say it here as I said it in two other threads today: what's with the callouts of right-wing obnoxious or marginal posts and comments that, were they left wing, would have passed unnoticed?

Read what you wrote again. It applies to about half of all FPPs.

I'll grudgingly acquiesce to AgendaFilter and NewsFilter, but, gosh, as a leftist myself I don't want to be complicit in an hypocrisy that claims that a behavior is acceptable on one side of the aisle but not the other.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:32 PM on July 7, 2004

{receive}

"...brown-winking eye? Did her robot surgeon ever excise her rocket's red glare?"

Dr. Sven took a beer in his left hand and the hamburger in his right, and headed into the...

{pass}
posted by five fresh fish at 7:27 PM on July 7, 2004

EB: Stop citing statistics you don't have the backup for. I'd repost what I said to this same point over in the Paris thread, but I just don't care enough.
posted by lazaruslong at 7:33 PM on July 7, 2004

I'll grudgingly acquiesce to AgendaFilter and NewsFilter, but, gosh, as a leftist myself I don't want to be complicit in an hypocrisy that claims that a behavior is acceptable on one side of the aisle but not the other.

Bligh, you're not going to make any friends by preaching fairness like that. Can't you "MeFi it up" a notch and at least call someone a fascist or accuse them of fellating Cheney?

And I always thought you'd fit in around here.

*shakes head sadly*
posted by dhoyt at 7:39 PM on July 7, 2004

You're talking out of your ass again, EB. If someone from the left vents like that, it's just as much a non-sequitir.
posted by planetkyoto at 8:00 PM on July 7, 2004

Yeah, it is. But it doesn't get called out. I really think this is the case—I don't have an axe to grind or anything. I couldn't care less if we drove off all the right-wingers; diversity in political opinion here doesn't mean much to me. But hypocrisy grates a little.

Everyone hates everything I say in MeTa, so I'll shut up about it. But it's my honest, good-faith opinion that there's three MeTa callouts today that wouldn't have been had they been more felicitous to leftist sensibilities.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:14 PM on July 7, 2004

If someone from the left vents like that, it's just as much a non-sequitir.

Curious then, planetkyoto, that mooncrow or matteo didn't also receive MeTa spankings for their abusive, non-sequitirious behavior. I'm sure it's a miraculous coincidence that the last three callouts have been for asparagirl, paris & oxydude. Sure.

And I'm interested, ed, where you were yesterday for this FPP? Huh, I can't seem to find a MeTa callout for it. Interesting! It's almost like the manipulative, intrusive editorializing in that FPP was completely ignored!
posted by dhoyt at 8:19 PM on July 7, 2004

I can't seem to find a MeTa callout for it.

So the left calls out the right, and maybe the right could call out the left once in a while. Do your own dirty work perhaps?
posted by inpHilltr8r at 8:29 PM on July 7, 2004

.
posted by mischief at 8:32 PM on July 7, 2004

Someone please catch FFF's pass.

Please. I need to know how it ends.
posted by bdave at 9:04 PM on July 7, 2004

{receive}

"...cockfighting parlor to join the other paid professionals for their weekly boys-club routine. It was loud and smoky and none of the other men even noticed Sven's arrival, their sweaty faces looking like spoiled sirloin and fists shaking wildly in the air.

Sven nibbled his hamburger, but didn't enjoy it. He stopped eating altogether when the larger rooster delivered the first of several deep gouges to the other bird's neck. Instead of being surprised by its own capacity to dispense pain, the rooster was clearly invigorated. It stalked the other bird as if grandstanding, pushing it back further and further to the precipice of the squared circle.

On deciding the deathblow moment had arrived, the larger rooster ruthlessly pecked at the other bird's eyes until its head was covered in the other's blood. Droplets rained down on its face, splattering in the shape of a ring above his brow, like a crown.

"We have a winner," bellowed one of the men, immediately turning to the others to collect money.

Another fight was to begin, this one involving a particularly unlikeable rooster known only as "scold_and_castigate".

The doctor excused himself.

{pass}
posted by dhoyt at 10:12 PM on July 7, 2004

dHoyt, I didn't see that one about Guantanamo, but you're absolutely right, it's a good example of a left wing version of the same blowhard thing. It was also a non-starter, since it was a dp. Regarding other comments, I agree (and already wrote) that "who the fuck are you" is just lowball ass chatter.
posted by planetkyoto at 10:55 PM on July 7, 2004

"...brown-winking eye?"

I bow before fff's Penn and Teller reference.
posted by shinynewnick at 10:58 PM on July 7, 2004

Posts call attention to themselves, of course, but this FPP was about the poster calling undue attention to his own unsupported opinion.

Oxydude, or "Anonymous," as his friends call him, is all about personal opinion. He has trouble posting without "I":

Okay, so I am a little biased against the Democratic Underground. Occasionally I may even laugh at some of their insults of dubya . . .

PUBLIC RELATIONS DEBACLE AFTER SEN. HILLARY JEERED AND BOOED BY When something goes wrong, blame it on the extreme right . . .

Bush Winning Gore Backers' High Praises
I never thought I would see this in the New York Times; praise for President Bush . . .

Police Report: Hit-Run Suspect Told Friends 'I Hit This White Man'
I heard this story last night . . .

Just another troll. Move along...
posted by Shane at 5:47 AM on July 8, 2004

No trail of justification. No specific examples of how two discrete ideas could remain so tied to the hip.

This describes about 1/2 of all MeFi posts, including this callout.

ed: WTF are you talking about? ... and this time, in English without the blather.
posted by mischief at 6:47 AM on July 8, 2004

I bow before fff's Penn and Teller reference.

eh? I thought I'd invented that just then as I typed it. When do P&T refer to it?
posted by five fresh fish at 9:16 AM on July 8, 2004

From The Stranger:

"Clearly, anyone who spurns the dark pleasures of the winking old brown eye is just half a gay, and worthy of pity."

There was also some tortured prose written written by an Onion columnist about his lover's beautiful "winking brown eye" awhile back, but I can't view the archives. The title was something like, "My Lover has the Most Beautiful Anus".

Also, AskMe shows up #2 in the Google search!
posted by dhoyt at 9:43 AM on July 8, 2004

dhoyt: authority on winking brown eyes.
posted by y2karl at 10:25 AM on July 8, 2004

That's what's inscribed on my proctology diploma.
posted by dhoyt at 10:41 AM on July 8, 2004

dhoyt, that would be an FPP worthy of calling attention to itself.

Euphemising for fun & profit! You could teach a course! You'd even have a theme song!
posted by chicobangs at 10:47 AM on July 8, 2004

The doctor excused himself,

{receive}

"...discarding the empty pint on a crowded railing and ripping the ascot from his sweaty, tanned neck. "Fresh air", he thought. "If only..."

{pass}
posted by Witty at 8:20 PM on July 8, 2004

{receive}

"... I were back in Costa Rica." He walked on, thinking of Becca, of meeting her after the cockfight there. Of the angry words they'd exchanged before he'd left.

Sven watched his departure with ostensible disinterest, making an offhand comment about chicken, which received several good natured chuckles from those nearby. As the Doctor reached the door, Sven headed for the Jukebox, put in a quarter, selected Guantanamero. He waited for the first chorus, and then, pretending to head for the men's room, surreptitiously took the rear exit. He reached his motorcycle as he saw the Doctor's car turn the corner of Beverly.

{pass}
posted by namespan at 10:47 PM on July 8, 2004