Comments on: Comments on 8205

Post number 8205

dobbs — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 18:09:51 -0800

Matt, can you please post the spoiler from this The Office post to the "more inside". And in general, can people please not put spoilers on the front page. It's pretty lame. And if you are going to include spoilers on the more, a warning on the front page would be nice. Thanks! (NOTE: don't click the link if you haven't seen all of The Office!)

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 18:32:53 -0800

Wasn't it aired ages ago tho? It's not like it's a new show, or on its first-run. How would the poster have known it hadn't already aired, on BBCAmerica, or elsewhere--It's a Christmas episode.

By: reklaw

reklaw — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 18:39:34 -0800

Worse, it is also revealed in that thread that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. Some people haven't seen Star Wars yet, dumbass!

Also, The Office is a mock-documentary comedy, not a freakin' soap opera. It's about the journey, not the destination.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 18:44:23 -0800

Worse, it is also revealed in that thread that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. Some people haven't seen Star Wars yet, dumbass

That would be "The Empire Strikes Back." Or, possibly, "The Revenge of the Sith."

By: dobbs

dobbs — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 18:50:36 -0800

/me shoves the community up reklaw's ass on his way out the door.

By: dhoyt

dhoyt — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 18:54:07 -0800

Sorry, again, for the third time, guys. My explanation is in the original thread. I would never knowingly post a spoiler, nor did I have any way of knowing I was spoiling something. Not sure what else to say in my own defense...

By: crunchland

crunchland — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 19:00:23 -0800

rosebud is a sled.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 19:20:59 -0800

THANKS A LOT, CRUNCHLAND, YOU FUCK.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 19:58:37 -0800

All along, the birdman really was me.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 20:00:15 -0800

I axed it at the posters request. It was a total spoiler, and afaik it never aired in the US.

By: kv

kv — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 20:48:37 -0800

even if something has aired, spoilers are still bad!

also, i love tim.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 20:58:13 -0800

turns out it's present day.

By: fishfucker

fishfucker — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:04:22 -0800

the walrus was paul.

By: PrinceValium

PrinceValium — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:11:32 -0800

I shot JR.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:25:28 -0800

And Lucy does get to play the bongos in Ricky's band. I fucking knew it!

By: geoff.

geoff. — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:36:34 -0800

In Jurassic Park the dinosaur eats everyone but an openly gay Jeff Goldbloom (it gets weird at the end, with him coming out).

By: ook

ook — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:38:54 -0800

Soylent green is made of peeeeeople!!!!

By: graventy

graventy — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:55:15 -0800

bruce willis is dead.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 21:56:21 -0800

Charlton Heston sees the Statue of Liberty, and realizes he was on Earth the whole time, but in the future.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 22:01:53 -0800

ooo! also, Zira switches her talking baby with a chimp baby in the zoo, paving the way for the eventual takeover of the planet. : >

By: taz

taz — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 23:27:04 -0800

Rochester has a crazy wife living in the attic; Grace Poole is only her nurse.

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Tue, 31 Aug 2004 23:53:47 -0800

Well thanks a bunch taz. Now I've got to cancel that Amazon order for "Wide Sargossa Sea."

By: scody

scody — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 00:10:22 -0800

Oh Auntie Em, it was just a dream. But it seemed so real! You were there, Hickory, and you, and you...

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 00:55:09 -0800

His mother died years ago, and he dresses up as her to commit the murders.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 01:01:54 -0800

The whole town comes to his aid, and gives him enough money to cover the missing deposit, and Clarence gets his wings.

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 01:54:49 -0800

Bush loses because of the Electoral College system.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 02:29:05 -0800

Jesus gets tacked up. But he gets over it.

By: John Shaft

John Shaft — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 02:30:44 -0800

It's 2004 and they're living in a large nature reserve with a no-fly zone.

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 02:48:31 -0800

Turns out Bruce Willis was an automobile decoration consisting of a raised horizontal metal surface all along.

By: Witty

Witty — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 03:13:27 -0800

KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN....

By: AwkwardPause

AwkwardPause — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 03:18:38 -0800

The chick has a dick.

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 03:19:46 -0800

It was Ozmandius all along.

By: salmacis

salmacis — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 03:43:08 -0800

She smothered her children with a pillow and then shot herself. It's really 1937, not 1917.

By: dash_slot-

dash_slot- — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 03:46:29 -0800

It's all just been a horrible dream!

By: angry modem

angry modem — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 04:04:16 -0800

NEO AND TRINITY BOTH FUCKING DIE

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 04:07:38 -0800

Mr Glass blew up the train.

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 04:11:06 -0800

Everybody lives happily ever after.

By: Blue Stone

Blue Stone — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 05:19:41 -0800

Bob is her father - he's possessed.

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 05:40:50 -0800

stavros. you kill me.

(dress-up jesus is stuck to my fridge. currently wearing a hat and trousers.)

and i can't believe anyone didn't already say it... everyone dies but the girl and the cat.

By: rocketman

rocketman — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 06:01:23 -0800

Frankly, dobbs, I don't give a damn.

By: dhoyt

dhoyt — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 06:15:01 -0800

Ricky Gervais rips off his face in the last episode of The Office, revealing himself to be Jesus fuckin' Christ. But then Jesus takes the shape of an F-15 fighter jet, revealing himself to be a Transformer. Oh, that dry British humor. Their boss was a buffoonish Transfomer all along!

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 06:19:31 -0800

I am so sorry I read this thread.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 06:32:21 -0800

i didn't bother, i've read the book.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 06:38:08 -0800

His soul is in the briefcase.

By: sebas

sebas — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 07:14:33 -0800

Joey marries the duck

By: johnnyboy

johnnyboy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 07:41:02 -0800

Jesus gets tacked up. But he gets over it.

- you are not going to resurrect that old one are you stav.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 07:47:16 -0800

And then Bob wakes up, and it was all a dream -- Vermont, the two Darrells, everything! -- and there's Suzanne Pleshette there to reassure him, and happily, it's 1973 all over again.

By: nthdegx

nthdegx — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 07:48:47 -0800

And in the end he gets burnt to death!

"Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!"

By: wobh

wobh — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:01:16 -0800

Really, there can be only one, but they'll make sequels anyway.

By: timeistight

timeistight — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:31:50 -0800

To Serve Man: It's a cookbook.

In the same vein: Soylent Green is people.

By: ChrisTN

ChrisTN — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:36:30 -0800

(So...what was the Office spoiler? Really.)

By: Pretty_Generic

Pretty_Generic — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:37:03 -0800

haha wobh

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:39:39 -0800

Col. Mustard in the Drawing Room with the Candlestick.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:53:05 -0800

Jesus tosses the Book of Life laptop in the water and Armageddon is averted.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:53:27 -0800

Michael has Fredo killed.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 08:54:30 -0800

After a struggle on the cliffs over the fiery pit, Gollum bites off the ring and the finger, and falls in, destroying it and saving the world.

By: mischief

mischief — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 09:08:42 -0800

Harry and Voldemort are the same person.

Voldemort went back in time to kill Harry, but in casting the spell, he tampers with time and causes a recursion along with the split personality.

Why wasn't Voldemort killed? He is! The one who travels back in time is killed. The one just split off from Harry lives on.

... or something like that. ;-P

By: naxosaxur

naxosaxur — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 09:18:02 -0800

Nicole Kidman and her two children are actually teh ghosts, and teh "ghosts" are really the real people!!!

By: iconomy

iconomy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 09:18:28 -0800

What about Kaycee Nicole? Any news on her yet?

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 09:40:31 -0800

Of course, the punchline is that Klinger winds up staying in Korea after everyone else leaves, because he likes it there after all.

I know, go figure.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:14:43 -0800

The narrator did it.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:22:56 -0800

After about 15 minutes or so trying different positions, the delivery boy climaxes rather messily, and then he puts his overalls back on and leaves her with her pizza.

He does not ask for payment.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:29:11 -0800

Or, alternatively: He fixes the cable.

By: Karmakaze

Karmakaze — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:29:27 -0800

Frodo lives. Charlotte dies. Jesus does both.

By: onlyconnect

onlyconnect — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:32:43 -0800

I love that Yaz song.

By: karmaville

karmaville — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:34:11 -0800

The narrator is Tyler Durden.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:40:16 -0800

I got all that, but WHO IS KEYSER SOZE?

By: briank

briank — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:40:44 -0800

The President orders New York City to be nuked.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:41:45 -0800

The whole thing was dreamed up by an autistic boy as he played with a little plastic snow globe with a hospital in it.

By: shoepal

shoepal — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:42:29 -0800

After the clock strikes midnight everything that takes place occurs in a "tangent" universe.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:43:07 -0800

And even after Number 6 escapes "The Village", he's still a Prisoner (and thirty years later, having grown hairless and toothless, gets a job as the dancing mascot for Six Flags).

By: eddydamascene

eddydamascene — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:46:44 -0800

Kelly, Ozone, and Turbo save the community center.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:53:02 -0800

Screech wins against Horschack.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 10:59:33 -0800

And mathowie deletes the thread.

By: luser

luser — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 11:14:39 -0800

Maya is actually the child of Lisa and Lisa's sister Barbara's husband, and they wanted Maya so that's why Barbara's husband killed Lisa, which Nate connects the dots about because of a photo of Lisa he finds in the book "Stiffs" which was stuck there by Michaela as a clue for him.

And Michaela is actually Lisa and Nate's child from years back when Lisa didn't really get an abortion like she said.

George goes insane.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 11:16:16 -0800

and Luke rapes Laura, then marries her.

By: kaibutsu

kaibutsu — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 11:21:20 -0800

They cross the streams, despite earlier advice suggesting that 'crossing the streams was Bad.'

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 11:27:14 -0800

AND close the gate, AND kill the giant marshmallow man, AND Venkman gets the girl. (yeesh.)

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 11:30:17 -0800

The couple in the orange jersey LOVES their new living room, while the couple in the blue jersey think Hilde's color choice is all wrong, and they won't be able to live with their new bedroom, AT ALL.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 11:38:43 -0800

Buckaroo commandeers an alien lifeboat, lasers the fleeing Dr Lizardo and Red Lectroids, parachutes back to Earth and resurrects Penny with a statically-charged kiss.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 12:09:35 -0800

It looks like they're going to get away with it, but the bus skids and ends up teetering on the edge of a cliff, with the gold threatening to fall into the valley. Charlie says "I've got a great idea," but the credits start rolling and you never find out what it is.

By: sharpener

sharpener — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 12:21:37 -0800

It was all just a big joke that Sean Penn played on Michael Douglas for his 40th birthday party.

By: arto

arto — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 12:22:45 -0800

It was Earth all along?

YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 12:31:38 -0800

the whole everlasting gobstopper thing was just a test, and Slugworthy actually worked for Willy Wonka.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 12:34:00 -0800

turns out the rope didn't break after all.

By: rocketman

rocketman — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 12:59:55 -0800

The Nazi is actually a fag and kills Kevin Spacey.

By: ParisParamus

ParisParamus — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:13:42 -0800

Soyjoy! I love that film--director's a genius! great reference!

By: y2karl

y2karl — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:19:08 -0800

After getting drunk and sleeping with Seymour, Enid gets takes the bus.

By: y2karl

y2karl — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:20:15 -0800

er, takes the bus...

By: DevilsAdvocate

DevilsAdvocate — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:27:04 -0800

Joel takes an archetypal hero's journey and returns to New York. Oh, sorry, that wasn't the ending, though it should have been.

By: eddydamascene

eddydamascene — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:34:03 -0800

The owl bites through to the tootsie roll center after three licks.

By: transient

transient — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:44:02 -0800

Superfly ends up having to kick some ass.

By: luser

luser — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 13:48:08 -0800

transient, that was my favorite bewitched ep!

By: the fire you left me

the fire you left me — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:11:20 -0800

Jesus is dead.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:16:10 -0800

luser : >

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:42:52 -0800

They're not terrorists after all, they just want to steal the bonds in the vault.

By: sgt.serenity

sgt.serenity — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:43:03 -0800

It turns out the Sheriff is Black.

By: sharpener

sharpener — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:46:20 -0800

Kevin Spacey is "envy" and Brad Pitt is "wrath."

By: shoepal

shoepal — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 14:48:37 -0800

He admits to being a daft prick and they live happily ever after.

By: SteelyDuran

SteelyDuran — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:02:18 -0800

Godot never arrives.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:07:34 -0800

The rich girl ends up with the guy from the wrong side of the tracks. The goth girl ends up with the jock. The math geek ends up with the writing assignment.

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:09:17 -0800

Jeff takes out the Aliens with a Mac Virus

By: amberglow

amberglow — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:34:04 -0800

a few of them get saved by going up to the bottom of the boat, but Shelley Winters and that slutty woman die on the way.

By: padraigin

padraigin — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:39:39 -0800

The walrus was Paul.

By: padraigin

padraigin — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:44:24 -0800

(but you guys knew that already)

By: mr.marx

mr.marx — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 15:51:33 -0800

the nerds get laid

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:15:55 -0800

His buddy goes to jail, his mom gets shock treatment, his girlfriend starts selling herself for drugs and he loses an arm.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:23:38 -0800

He gives himself a frontal lobotomy with a drill. He sits on a park bench and watches a little girl play.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:34:04 -0800

The gold was buried in the grave *next* to Arch Stanton's.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:35:59 -0800

... and if it weren't for you meddling kids they'd have gotten away with it.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:36:16 -0800

Its all in the reflexes. He idiotically refuses the advance of the totally hot green eyed babe. The demon is still alive on the back of his truck in the driving rain storm.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:41:14 -0800

and just don't even ask what happened to Sunnydale!

By: onlyconnect

onlyconnect — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:41:38 -0800

Anybody feel like composing a key to all these spoilers, matching the spoiler with the movie? I feel like I'd want to see some of these movies on the basis of the spoiler alone, but have no idea what movie to rent. Should only take a few hours, really!!!

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:43:07 -0800

He couldn't know it was Iron Balls McGinty.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:45:08 -0800

John Galt turns out to be as completely implausible as the rest of the book.

By: John Shaft

John Shaft — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:46:53 -0800

You will die aloooooone.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:46:55 -0800

If he had brain one in that *huge* melon on top of his neck, he'd be living the good life, in California's ~beautiful~ San Fernando Valley. Oh, and Ray is Vigo now.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:54:31 -0800

Anybody feel like composing a key to all these spoilers,

Have you seen the Pooper?

Also, the man in the red shoes is actually the photo-booth repairman.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:54:33 -0800

He switched the tapes. Maybe swing music can bring about world peace.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:57:49 -0800

Minnesota Fats decides to stop fucking around.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 16:58:20 -0800

By the way, Adrienne Barbeau figured out how to get 7 shots out of a six shooter. Too bad about the Cadillac, though.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:00:49 -0800

The little squirrel critter never does get the nut. People laugh at his pain.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:00:51 -0800

He destroys the Ministry of Information with the help of the rogue Air Conditioning Repair Man and escapes with the woman of his dreams.

In reality, he's being tortued by a fellow Ministry of Information employee donning a baby mask.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:02:55 -0800

SHE brands HIM with a cigerette holder.

By: inpHilltr8r

inpHilltr8r — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:07:31 -0800

Everybody dies.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:17:31 -0800

Slim Whitman's singing makes the aliens' heads explode.

By: Vidiot

Vidiot — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:18:40 -0800

Truly, he was the Son of God.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:21:00 -0800

Rick doesn't get the girl. He does get to walk off arm in arm with the police captain.

By: Vidiot

Vidiot — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:21:11 -0800

It's a cookbook.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:24:02 -0800

Oh and the coyote only hurts himself with the Acme T.N.T. but he doesn't die.

By: shoepal

shoepal — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:25:04 -0800

By taking control of their machine, John creates the sea, the sun and Shell Beach.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:25:18 -0800

This week's top 10 grossing movies:
WARNING: SPOILERS
Nameless Hero was executed as an assassin but buried as an honored hero.
Gail, Sam, Bill and Cole are the only survivors.
Del gives the friends a bag full of D.B. Cooper's parachute and tons of money.
Mia is crowned as the new Queen of Genovia.
"It's not Merrin... It's Father Merrin."
Vincent says "if someone died on the metro, think anyone would notice?" and then head drooping, dies.
A fisherman gutting a dead shark, finds Susan's yellow waterproof camera. and says " I wonder if it still works".
A chestburster comes out of the Predator, and at the sides of its mouth we see four tiny tusks...
Pam tells Bourne that his real name is David Webb, his birthday is April 15, 1971, and he's from Newsome, Missouri.
Mackelway holds O'Ryan in his arms as he dies and O'Ryan thanks him telling him he knew it would end like this.

Wendell really likes the Movie Spoiler site and is somewhat tickled at the fact that they haven't found anybody to watch "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2"

For Once, we agree.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:31:51 -0800

He flies the helicopter upside down and shoots Malcolm McDowell.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:38:02 -0800

The fake crop report does the trick, and the Dukes end up penniless while our heroes eat lobster and cracked crab on the beach.

By: Sonny Jim

Sonny Jim — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 17:53:23 -0800

She goes with Ben. Not Noel.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 18:02:36 -0800

*wakes up. universe winks out.*

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 18:04:58 -0800

The symbolic erection recedes. She ends up teaching a boy's gym class, dressed in a half shirt, shorts, tights and leg-warmers. Oh, Yeah ...

Then she marries that asshole, Steven Seagal, and her whole career goes to hell. Bye, Kelly.

By: moss

moss — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 18:13:10 -0800

He's cured, all right.

By: dhoyt

dhoyt — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 18:29:53 -0800

Affleck and Damon fuck.

By: Vidiot

Vidiot — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 18:46:31 -0800

The train goes into a tunnel.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 19:14:55 -0800

They re-calibrate the phase array and divert power from the shields.

By: shoepal

shoepal — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 20:11:51 -0800

She raises her dead transvestite ex-husband's illegitimate child in ~~Madrid~~ Barcelona.

By: milovoo

milovoo — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 20:13:29 -0800

... but I still can't believe that he would give the hard won diamond earrings to the passive-aggressive tomboy Watts instead of the sweet perky redhead Amanda.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 20:51:44 -0800

So all the heavy metal doors close but the last one, and Max turns around to see why it doesn't, and they suddenly swing shut, hitting him on the nose.

By: naxosaxur

naxosaxur — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 21:12:27 -0800

Peter, Michael Bolton, and Samir get away with the computer scam because Milton sets fire to the building!

Woogie is actually Dom Wooganowski. Duh.

By: jeblis

jeblis — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 21:35:55 -0800

The guy with the limp did it.

By: Marquis

Marquis — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 22:05:32 -0800

the boat sinks.

By: jazon

jazon — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 22:19:30 -0800

Credits roll.

Paul Slatter was the gaffer.

By: dhoyt

dhoyt — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 22:55:39 -0800

...and so the kindly old doctor pumped ten whole quarts of jism from Rod Stewart's belly that night, sending him on his way the next morning to live a happy, healthy life in the sweet thereafter.

By: SteelyDuran

SteelyDuran — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 22:55:59 -0800

Francesca stays with her husband; Robert Kincaid slowly drives away.

By: mwhybark

mwhybark — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 23:00:39 -0800

They look into each other's eyes as the cops draw closer, and then punch the accelerator, driving over the cliff.

By: arto

arto — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 23:06:20 -0800

Turns out there was no kidnapping, no ransom, the toe came from one of the Germans, and Donny died of a heart attack.

But what happened to the rug?

By: John Shaft

John Shaft — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 23:32:59 -0800

Yeah man, it really tied the room together.

By: Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley — Wed, 01 Sep 2004 23:33:13 -0800

They take Ray Milland's head back off Rosie Grier's body, and everybody lives happily ever after.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 00:24:19 -0800

Charles De Gaulle ducks.

By: Feisty

Feisty — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 00:47:38 -0800

Joey marries the ridiculously expensive crystal duck?

By: Feisty

Feisty — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 00:49:21 -0800

Producing car parts, "Forgive us mother, for I have sinned, I have too." And the family goes over the mountain.

By: John Shaft

John Shaft — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 01:36:38 -0800

Ray Milland removes his eyes, but can still see, if Stephen King is to be believed.

By: SteelyDuran

SteelyDuran — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 02:17:11 -0800

There turns out to be no way out of the IKEA showroom.

By: SteelyDuran

SteelyDuran — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 02:30:56 -0800

During a small gathering of friends, the author offers to tell the tale of Bach's Musical Offering, and the book begins again.

By: ZippityBuddha

ZippityBuddha — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 06:35:12 -0800

I'M HER MOTHER. NO, I'M HER SISTER. NO, I'M HER MOTHER. NO, I'M HER SISTER. I'M HER MOTHER!!!!

It's Chinatown, Jake.

By: fullerine

fullerine — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 06:42:18 -0800

He is ambushed by lackeys

By: wobh

wobh — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 07:16:44 -0800

A robber comes in and shoots him dead, but one of the producers convinces the director to leave that scene out.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 07:38:55 -0800

After killing the computer, he sees the obelisk in space and goes back to his childhood while sitting in bed.

Daniel ends up roleplaying with the geeks, Lindsey and Daniel's girlfriend go on a roadtrip with the dead. Nick enters a disco competition that Joel Hodgson hosts. Ken stays with the hermaphrodite. Sam breaks up with Cindy.

The good wizard shoots the bad wizard and hooks up with the cute fairy.

The rabbits start their own warren.

Bloom's day ends with his wife fantasizing about other men

Lenny kills someone. George kills lenny.

Brandon's camera breaks and they decide that their movie's sucked anyways.

Trinity House converts 15,000 people.

Coven is never completely finished.

Mandy Moore's character kills Jesus.

He wins her heart at a dance contest.

He was dreaming the entire film.

They lose the contest but become a real band.

They buy the evil gym.

They get arrested for not helping someone out.

He fakes his death one last time, then plays banjo.

She wins the election.

He goes with her to London.

Punk rock dies.

They lose all the money but get it back by selling flon in a tube (don't ask me how I know that one)

Christmas is saved!

By: Vidiot

Vidiot — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 08:09:35 -0800

Senator Blutarsky, Washington, DC.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 08:20:21 -0800

1. He loses.
2. He wins.
3. No one cares.
4. No one cares.
5. No one cares.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 08:38:31 -0800

Jack freezes to death in the garden maze.

The sniper turns out to be a teenage girl.

By: chicobangs

chicobangs — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 08:48:45 -0800

They decide to remake The Office using American actors in a US locale, and despite the talent of all involved, the show completely tanks.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 09:02:29 -0800

#1: Jason dies.
#2: Jason dies.
#3: Jason dies.
#4: Jason dies.
#5: Jason dies.
#6: Jason dies.
#7: Jason dies.

By: Vidiot

Vidiot — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 09:17:46 -0800

It was beauty killed the beast.

By: petebest

petebest — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 11:33:47 -0800

Dexy's Midnight Runners' second album is not as well recieved.

By: Vidiot

Vidiot — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 12:46:53 -0800

Mother of Mercy, it was the end of Rico.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 16:31:00 -0800

He informs his mother that he has, in fact, made it to the top of the world. Shortly thereafter, the gas refinery explodes.

By: SteelyDuran

SteelyDuran — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 16:42:05 -0800

Bill kills his wife, probably accidentally, and escapes to Tangeirs.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 17:01:07 -0800

Vidiot:

Senator and Mrs. Blutarsky, Washington, D.C.

These are important details.

By: ParisParamus

ParisParamus — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 17:01:54 -0800

Mathowie turns out to really be Karl Rove doing some research on the opposition.

By: Wulfgar!

Wulfgar! — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 17:57:11 -0800

All right, who farted?!?

Oh, ParisP is in here.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 18:25:28 -0800

Nirvana turns out to be the wheel of becoming.

By: deborah

deborah — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 19:13:35 -0800

The butler did it.

By: Gortuk

Gortuk — Thu, 02 Sep 2004 19:44:46 -0800

Ross, the largest Friend, simply eats the other five.

By: Witty

Witty — Fri, 03 Sep 2004 01:56:06 -0800

KHAAAN !!!

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Fri, 03 Sep 2004 10:11:29 -0800

The bus ends up hanging half over a cliff. Gold at one end; heros at the other.

By: taumeson

taumeson — Sat, 04 Sep 2004 11:50:08 -0800

He goes to LA, but plans to come back, and leaves his guitar as evidence.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Sun, 05 Sep 2004 08:21:11 -0800

The thread goes off the front page of MeTa, but a few sad individuals keep posting to it anyway.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Thu, 30 Sep 2004 14:53:36 -0800

30 days later the thread gets closed to further comments