March 16, 2005

3:47 PM

C'mon, I like cats too, but I think this AskMe thread totally breaks the guidelines. It's chatfilter, impossible to produce a "best answer", and by no means fits the criteria of being able to produce interesting discussion.
posted by matildaben to etiquette/policy at 3:47 PM (107 comments total)

See that little exclamation point thingie? Click it. Select "it breaks the guidelines". Done.
posted by Galvatron at 3:53 PM on March 16, 2005

Presumably the best answer will be the one she names the cat.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:53 PM on March 16, 2005

I don't know, I'd say having "Smell the Glove" included in a list of possible names for a solid black cat makes the thread worthwhile all by itself.

Makes me want to get a solid black cat, I'll tell you that much.
posted by yhbc at 3:56 PM on March 16, 2005

Wait a minute. If it's impossible to select a "best answer," then it breaks the guidelines? When did that happen?
posted by koeselitz at 4:00 PM on March 16, 2005

Gawd, that's a bad post.

I know people joke around about, "Where did I leave my keys?" but that sucker actually comes close.

My female black cat's name is Fred.
posted by cedar at 4:05 PM on March 16, 2005

You're right, it doesn't have a definitive answer, but neither does this or this or this.

I think for this to be egregious chatfilter it would have to pose the question: "What's your favorite cat name?" But asking help with naming a cat? Within the guidelines, in my opinion.

Incidentally, you might find the responses interesting in this thread I posted recently.
posted by Specklet at 4:06 PM on March 16, 2005

Boo Hoo. Metafilter isn't exactly the way I want it to be. I'm telling.

I am so tired of this shit.
posted by darkmatter at 4:11 PM on March 16, 2005

Boo Hoo. Metafilter isn't exactly the way I want it to be. I'm telling.

Hey; now, that's a productive way to express yourself. A little bit of sarcasm mixed in with a dose of snark -- you'll go far here, my friend, far.

Newsflash: MetaTalk exists for exactly this reason. You see, matildaben had the courtesy not to derail the thread, and while the [!] is great for pointing out egregious violations of the guidelines or dangerous/offensive/illegal content, it doesn't exactly facilitate discussion of why a post is bad. Hence, MetaTalk and posts like this.

I am so tired of this shit.

Yeah, I know what you mean. It really sucks when my browser just opens up and forces me to visit MetaTalk. I'm thinking of suing, myself. This fucking site has made me sick for years and what do I have to show for it, I'll tell ya... nothing.

If you find something around these parts sickening, the obvious solution would be to enjoy the links and comments in the blue and green and just forget this brackish little backwater exists.
posted by cedar at 4:28 PM on March 16, 2005

I thought AskMe had a long tradition of naming pets.
posted by agropyron at 4:38 PM on March 16, 2005

Wow, you know, its funny. If I don't read MeTa for a while, I actually start to believe that the petty whining has died down. And then I stop back in and take a look and can't believe that the exact same arguments are still going on.

Sure, its not the greatest AskMe but so what? Don't read it, don't let it bother you and move on. Sheesh.
posted by fenriq at 4:44 PM on March 16, 2005

by no means fits the criteria of being able to produce interesting discussion.
Since when is this an AskMe guideline? Or guideline for MeFi or MeTa, for that matter?
And it's quite possible for there to be a best answer, although that's not a requirement by itself, either.
Also, what's so chatty about largely one-word answers?
posted by obloquy at 4:46 PM on March 16, 2005

+darkmatter
posted by mischief at 4:47 PM on March 16, 2005

If you find something around these parts sickening, the obvious solution would be to enjoy the links and comments in the blue and green and just forget this brackish little backwater exists.

Perhaps you just nailed my point. Say that's a thought just pass it by, hmmm.
posted by darkmatter at 4:58 PM on March 16, 2005

This askme post is a total waste of bandwidth , we should all be manly men discussing manly things with deep booming voices.
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:07 PM on March 16, 2005

Hey; now, that's a productive way to express yourself. A little bit of sarcasm mixed in with a dose of snark -- you'll go far here, my friend, far.

My irony meter just exploded!
posted by clevershark at 5:16 PM on March 16, 2005

Hey; now, that's a productive way to express yourself. A little bit of sarcasm mixed in with a dose of snark -- you'll go far here, my friend, far.

My irony meter just exploded!

I just went: What ever.
posted by darkmatter at 5:19 PM on March 16, 2005

Deleted. You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Boo Hoo. I hate AskMe. Please stop them. Delete them all.
posted by darkmatter at 5:31 PM on March 16, 2005

I just bet she was going to choose Darkmatter as the kitty's name.
posted by darkmatter at 5:33 PM on March 16, 2005

I thought Nightshade was rather appropriate.
posted by mischief at 5:46 PM on March 16, 2005

I quite like Darkmatter. See, the thread is back now :).
posted by trillion at 5:55 PM on March 16, 2005

Nightshade does sound good but it wasn't it. The thread was deleted because I was going to get my second check mark with my Darkmatter answer.

I was robbed I tell you, robbed.

wail and nashing of teeth

Should I open a new MetaTalk for my Boo Hoo?
posted by darkmatter at 5:56 PM on March 16, 2005

shit disregard boo hoo.

Attempts to hide
shit
posted by darkmatter at 5:57 PM on March 16, 2005

I thought AskMe had a long tradition of naming pets.
And babies.
posted by amberglow at 5:58 PM on March 16, 2005

Heyyyyyy. No it's still gone.. Boo hoo still appropriate.

wail wail nash nash

yadda yadda.
posted by darkmatter at 6:00 PM on March 16, 2005

bad deletion, imo. Jesus Christ, the thread was totally harmless and some of the names were fun -- given the amount of shit that doesn't get deleted from AskMeFi, this deletion looks quite random.
posted by matteo at 6:11 PM on March 16, 2005

Man, people are really harshing on the chatfilter now. Of course, last month we were busting Matt and Jessamyn for the free-wheeling deletion of chatfilter posts. It's true. They can't win.

I hope the quality of your life is noticeably improved by the removal of that thread's stain upon it, matildaben.
posted by scarabic at 6:11 PM on March 16, 2005

What scarabixxx said.
posted by Quartermass at 6:22 PM on March 16, 2005

AskMe needs to be policed a lot more heavily, frankly. Chatfilter has been against the specific guidelines since day one, and it's still everywhere.

Matt and Jess can win easily, scarab - beat AskMe chatfilter to within an inch of its life and let people shout uselessly into the void of MetaTalk all they want.
posted by Ryvar at 6:22 PM on March 16, 2005

If Matt doesn't want a thread to live, fine. If it doesn't suit the vision he has for AskMe, fine. But I really don't understand why members treat other members' questions as a huge affront when they're the least bit chatty.

Some people need something to police, obviously. Were you one of the kids who would shush other kids in class, Ryvar? ;)
posted by scarabic at 6:25 PM on March 16, 2005

Only if they were asking stupid questions, scarabic ;)
posted by Ryvar at 6:27 PM on March 16, 2005

If Matt doesn't want a thread to live, fine. If it doesn't suit the vision he has for AskMe, fine. But I really don't understand why members treat other members' questions as a huge affront when they're the least bit chatty.

Amen!!!! We are a community.. Members commune.. If you don't like it walk by. What harm were we doing. But no I don't like it. Hey Matt hey Jess I don't like it delete it. Make it go away.
posted by darkmatter at 6:31 PM on March 16, 2005

Some people need something to police, obviously. Were you one of the kids who would shush other kids in class, Ryvar? ;)

Only if they were asking stupid questions, scarabic ;)

ryvar? scarabic? jonmc?

;)
posted by jonmc at 6:33 PM on March 16, 2005

mathowie?
posted by Quartermass at 6:37 PM on March 16, 2005

I was more the kid in the center of the room muttering "Christ, shut UP" just loudly enough for everyone around me to hear whenever someone asked either a dumbass question or a suckup question.
posted by Ryvar at 6:37 PM on March 16, 2005

[slingshots Ryvar in the ear]
posted by scarabic at 6:37 PM on March 16, 2005

Please don't delete this one until my question is answered. The health of my eyes is in the balance.

Thank Youuuu!
posted by darkmatter at 6:37 PM on March 16, 2005

Ryvar writes "let people shout uselessly into the void of MetaTalk all they want."

*yodels heartily into the unplumbablelessness depths of MetaTalk and ergo my own soul by proxy*
posted by sciurus at 6:45 PM on March 16, 2005

*bangs ryvar and scarabic's heads together*
posted by jonmc at 6:45 PM on March 16, 2005

*yodels heartily into Ryvar's cavernous ass*

**finds voice coming back out**

Voice: "Christ, shut UP!"
posted by scarabic at 6:46 PM on March 16, 2005

These deletions are putting me into a coma.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:52 PM on March 16, 2005

Christ, shut UP!
posted by Ryvar at 6:53 PM on March 16, 2005

*yodels heartily into Ryvar's cavernous ass*

I'm curious as to why your face is in my ass in the first place.
posted by Ryvar at 6:54 PM on March 16, 2005

....
posted by jonmc at 6:57 PM on March 16, 2005

Christ, shut UP!
posted by Ryvar at 6:53 PM PST on March 16 [!

By all means delete it. Ryvar doesn't like it. It has got to go.

Be gone evil post be gone.
posted by darkmatter at 6:59 PM on March 16, 2005

Metafilter: a long tradition of naming pets.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:03 PM on March 16, 2005

Deleting that thread is exactly like killing a kitten.
posted by underer at 7:18 PM on March 16, 2005

*administers atomic wedgie to Ryvar for 51 hp*
posted by loquacious at 7:18 PM on March 16, 2005

*rounds up friends, gives loquacious a dirty-swirlie*
posted by Ryvar at 7:20 PM on March 16, 2005

vidiot! stav! Divine Wino!

Get over here and help me straighten these punks out!
posted by jonmc at 7:27 PM on March 16, 2005

Shut the fuck up, you snivelling little turd-fellators, or I'm going to have to go barnyard on your asses!

How was that, jon?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:09 PM on March 16, 2005

Not bad, bro. Let's hit the Quik-E-Mart for some slushies!
posted by jonmc at 8:15 PM on March 16, 2005

I miss Miguel.
posted by trharlan at 8:17 PM on March 16, 2005

where is he? he would have had great Portuguese names for the cat, and explanations about them too. : >
posted by amberglow at 8:18 PM on March 16, 2005

would you like to be Milhouse, amberglow? Actually, you're more like Krusty, truth be told ;)
posted by jonmc at 8:20 PM on March 16, 2005

Deleting that thread is exactly like killing a kitten.

It grows hair on your palms?
posted by caddis at 8:32 PM on March 16, 2005

not Milhouse! Krusty i'll take. : P
posted by amberglow at 8:34 PM on March 16, 2005

You'll have to grow a superfluous nipple then.

dhoyt will have to be millhouse then. chicobangs can be Moe, if he'll com back to claim it. lilboo and eyeballkid can be lenny and carl.
posted by jonmc at 8:45 PM on March 16, 2005

Wait. Someone actually posted in AskMe for help *naming their fucking cat*?

And folks are actually *defending* that?

Christ, do we have widely divergent opinions about what AskMe was designed for.

Thank god the deletion clarifies the issue.
posted by mediareport at 9:07 PM on March 16, 2005

You'll have to grow a superfluous nipple then.

*calls up marky mark, asks how he did it*

mediareport gets to be Principal Skinner.
posted by amberglow at 9:35 PM on March 16, 2005

Oh--all NY Mefites, get ready for an incredibly great surprise guest meetup in May : >
posted by amberglow at 9:36 PM on March 16, 2005

mediareport gets to be Principal Skinner.

Oh now [sniff], *that* hurts.

amberglow, you are officially uninvited to my house for the Raleigh/Durham meetup this weekend.

/petulant
posted by mediareport at 9:41 PM on March 16, 2005

Man, you people have a short memory. One of my favorite early AskMe threads was the one where someone was asking for a name for their pair of kittens. THAT thread never got deleted. In fact, it got many many comments.

I think the key was the pictures. Did this thread have pictures of the kitty? Once you look into those little kitty eyes deletion is out of the question.
posted by tinamonster at 9:54 PM on March 16, 2005

Yeah, AskMe has been used to name pets. I really don't see the problem. Somebody has a specific, concrete problem and they're coming to the green for help. It's certainly better than the games of charades that take up so much of the green.
posted by nixerman at 10:18 PM on March 16, 2005

How would you feel about "What should I name my child" threads?
posted by mediareport at 11:01 PM on March 16, 2005

Call one "Cupid", and the livelier one "Stunt".
And then have impossible fun trying to call them both to come for their dinner.
posted by seanyboy at 2:11 AM PST on July 8 [!]

That was so worth revisiting!
Thanks seanyboy! Thanks tinamonster!
posted by geekyguy at 11:01 PM on March 16, 2005

I like cats. I do not like this deletion.
posted by puke & cry at 11:08 PM on March 16, 2005

mediareport, we had a "name my child" thread that got lots of interesting answers. /too lazy to look it up.

I have a dream... in my dream, posters who want to post less practical questions can choose to tag it with a special marker that means the question won't show up on the main page... You can only get to it by going to that category or tag, so only people who are interested in these sorts of questions will ever bother to seek them out, and them that hates 'em will almost never have to bump noses with'em. I would probably make this page 1 of my MeFi Network daily experience, and maybe even ask a question or two that I've stifled.

I'm willing to play by the rules of whatever game I've chosen to participate in, so it's not a big deal to me... but I think some sort of option like this would be tasty.
posted by taz at 11:51 PM on March 16, 2005

I have a dream... in my dream, posters who want to post less practical questions can choose to tag it with a special marker that means the question won't show up on the main page... You can only get to it by going to that category or tag, so only people who are interested in these sorts of questions will ever bother to seek them out, and them that hates 'em will almost never have to bump noses with'em.

Instead of a categorical tag, what if people had a simple check box option to intentionally make their posts only visible on (the hopefully forthcoming) lofi.askme?
posted by Ryvar at 12:10 AM on March 17, 2005

You'd probably get more answers in #mefi than a lofi AskMe.
posted by DaShiv at 12:54 AM on March 17, 2005

I love you taz, but I also have a dream, a dream where rather than engineering solutions to behavioural 'problems', we just depend on people not to be Big Stupid Heads and poop in the middle of the commons.

My other dream is where I drop The World's Smallest Nuclear Weapon on them when they do it, all the while laughing like a panty-clad Ed McMahon on yage.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:34 AM on March 17, 2005

Holy shit. Ed McMahon? That's below the belt, man. Where the fuck are the cute and fuzzy kitten objects?

*scrubs and scours brain with strong lye soap*
posted by loquacious at 1:43 AM on March 17, 2005

I must be very, very wrong for feeling this way, but the image of a panty-clad Ed McMahon is making me all tingly in my second banana area. I blame the chicken, who always, somehow, forces me to confront my personal demons. ... aargh... *comes*
posted by taz at 2:06 AM on March 17, 2005

is making me all tingly in my second banana area.

Whoa whoa whoa wait! Hold on here! Let's jump back to that "what do you think MeFi users look/sound like" thread, because I have always, always, ALWAYS thought you were a girl.
posted by Ryvar at 2:08 AM on March 17, 2005

I am a girl... but I figure anyone can have a "second banana" erogenous zone.
posted by taz at 2:30 AM on March 17, 2005

So, would that be the second or subordinate erogenous zone or the erogenous zone in the form and shape of a burlesque straight man? *shivers*

Ryvar recently discovered and then became intimately familiar with his second banana after receiving an atomic wedgie.
posted by loquacious at 2:42 AM on March 17, 2005

You see? Compared to other methods, the wonderchicken technique is Zen-painless. I will always be grateful to him for gently breaking me of the burlesque-straightman-fetish. (The fact that I now have a particular interest in fowl language and lingerie should not detract from the significance of his earlier scientific exploration.)
posted by taz at 3:02 AM on March 17, 2005

Christ, do we have widely divergent opinions about what AskMe was designed for.

Thank god the deletion clarifies the issue.


Hear hear.

*raps fist on desk*

Tell you what, now we need to have an official AxeMe opinion reporter so we can settle by established caselaw what is or is not allowable. Stare decisis and stuff.

I'm only half kidding.
posted by norm at 6:04 AM on March 17, 2005

Drat, damn, double drat!

I was thinking of posting an AskMe question, "Please name my penis." Oh well, bad idea.
posted by gsb at 6:07 AM on March 17, 2005

That's funny, I always pictured jonmc as Barney.
posted by terrapin at 6:21 AM on March 17, 2005

I was thinking of posting an AskMe question, "Please name my penis." Oh well, bad idea.

Interestingly, we have had discussion about naming vulvas/vaginas. But it was in MeTa, not AskMe.
posted by raedyn at 6:36 AM on March 17, 2005

Tell you what, now we need to have an official AxeMe opinion reporter so we can settle by established caselaw what is or is not allowable. Stare decisis and stuff.

I'm only half kidding.
posted by norm at 6:04 AM PST on March 17 [!]


Actually, that's an excellent idea. Can someone do that and add it to the wiki? It can be really hard to keep up with mefi community agreements. Anyone want to make a metapost about this so the idea doesn't get lost?
posted by Jim Jones at 6:39 AM on March 17, 2005

I was thinking of posting an AskMe question, "Please name my penis."

This is best done with a lover, anyway:-)

[smiles reminiscently]
posted by orange swan at 6:59 AM on March 17, 2005

Fuck threads. Who wants pie!?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:16 AM on March 17, 2005

Can I name the pie?
posted by iconomy at 7:22 AM on March 17, 2005

Talk about responsive.

Now that's powerful commenting!
posted by exlotuseater at 7:41 AM on March 17, 2005

No, iconomy. The community should come to a consensus on the pie's name.
posted by raedyn at 7:41 AM on March 17, 2005

Or in order to avoid the patriarcal dogma of biased labelling, we should allow the pie to name itself.
posted by raedyn at 7:43 AM on March 17, 2005

i think the pie should contain roasted matildaben.
posted by andrew cooke at 7:47 AM on March 17, 2005

That's funny, I always pictured jonmc as Barney.
You'd think so, but he's really Lenny.
posted by amberglow at 7:47 AM on March 17, 2005

Q: How many metatalk posters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, but they have to be really, really small.
posted by iconomy at 7:51 AM on March 17, 2005

Q: How many metatalk posters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. We'll sit in the dark and complain about it endlessly ; >
posted by amberglow at 8:00 AM on March 17, 2005

Q: How many metatalk posters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Four - one to turn the bulb, one to wonder if the bulb is really the best of the web, one to ask what the . used in death announcements means, one to mention jonmc even though he has nothing to do with changing the lightbulb.
posted by iconomy at 8:12 AM on March 17, 2005

None: "Matt--change the damn lightbulb."
posted by Mid at 8:17 AM on March 17, 2005

A: How can you people think about changing light bulbs when Bush is destroying America?
posted by Cyrano at 8:36 AM on March 17, 2005

taz: is making me all tingly in my second banana area.

Ryvar: Whoa whoa whoa wait! Hold on here! Let's jump back to that "what do you think MeFi users look/sound like" thread, because I have always, always, ALWAYS thought you were a girl.

Christ, shut UP!
posted by scarabic at 9:15 AM on March 17, 2005

MetaPie? It shall be filled with the creamy goodness that is MetaFilter. I'm picturing something custardy and tangy with maybe a hint of cranberry. Mmmmm.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:34 AM on March 17, 2005

Ryvar thinks I'm a girl too. It's all because of the video games she plays. ;)
posted by terrapin at 9:38 AM on March 17, 2005

Wait, Ryvar is a girl?
posted by Specklet at 10:30 AM on March 17, 2005

You didn't know?
posted by loquacious at 10:56 AM on March 17, 2005

Ryvar is a video game.
posted by taz at 10:57 AM on March 17, 2005

Hmm. Actually, when I say "Ryvar" aloud, it seems like it would make a pretty good cat name...
posted by Specklet at 11:00 AM on March 17, 2005

I'm pretty sure it was the name of some henchman in one of the Conan movies. Or maybe Beyond Thunderdome?

"Cromar! Ryvar! Show this man what we do with thieves!"
posted by scarabic at 12:28 PM on March 17, 2005

"What the hell was Mat thinking, changing the lightbulb? Things were way better around here before he started giving them away to anyone who asked. That's it, I'm outta here, and nothing you say can make me come back."
posted by jokeefe at 2:46 PM on March 17, 2005

"Cromar! Ryvar! Show this man what we do with thieves!"

Does it involve strangely shaped erogenous zones?
posted by spaghetti at 11:27 PM on March 17, 2005

jokeefe, please come back! I saved the old lightbulb, and I'll let you hold it.
posted by taz at 4:03 AM on March 18, 2005

Why the fuck wasn't this deleted as well? Wha?
posted by Specklet at 10:46 AM on March 18, 2005

Oooh, taz, that must be the missing 31st answer on the list of the 30 Hottest Things You Can Say to a Woman!

I plan to lurk for a while to see if anyone starts a thread begging me to come back. And when nobody does, I will sulk, before occasionally showing up to spew invective on Mefi in a stealthy kind of way.

And I will email Matt regularly demanding that he stop giving out lightbulbs. Geez, at this rate, anybody could get one.
posted by jokeefe at 2:35 PM on March 18, 2005