April 18, 2005

5:01 PM

For those who may miss it, poopy's former fiance has posted a touching comment in his memorial thread
posted by Rumple to MetaFilter-related at 5:01 PM (17 comments total)

thanks, Rumple.
posted by amberglow at 5:37 PM on April 18, 2005

Wow, that's an awesome homily. It really connects with the way I feel about matters spiritual. The natural world is full of wondrous and beautiful phenomena, before which even the most rational mind must reel in delight to apprehend. And the more you learn about science, the more wondrous it all is, not the less. If there's such a thing as a non-religious spiritual experience to be had in this life, it's stepping back from the study of nature's fantastic intricacies to realize that you are a part of it on so many many levels. The houseplants that breathed poopy's CO2 will miss him no less than we who shared a web community with him.
posted by scarabic at 6:56 PM on April 18, 2005

Beautifully put, scarabic; I feel much the same way. A desire for miracles that deny reason or the sensible is missing the fundamental 'miracle' of ...reason & the sensible. That the world exists, and that it is so intricate, beautiful, strange, powerful and prolific, is an endless source of awe.

Thanks, Rumple, for calling attention to that touching comment. Sadly, it seems to confirm the suspected cause of death. I guess it's no surprise, but it is still tragic... and again I feel powerless to say anything meaningful in particular, but it does touch me. It is so sad that such a fundamentally good-hearted person could be so beaten down by life. My heart really goes out to those who loved him.
posted by mdn at 7:30 PM on April 18, 2005

also well-put, mdn
posted by scarabic at 7:45 PM on April 18, 2005

I think the world just took a little too much out of him.

So, to gently say what I didn't want to say in the memorial thread, it was a suicide, then?
posted by mediareport at 8:44 PM on April 18, 2005

:(
posted by dabitch at 1:01 AM on April 19, 2005

Tragic. I wish he had been able to find help. Matt, maybe we could provide some sort of permanant link to depression screening on askme as a type of tribute?
posted by lilboo at 9:20 AM on April 19, 2005

... it was a suicide, then?

People are going to regard that as insensitive speculation, but as I thought about Kimme's post today and the self-worth comment that he made here in January, I wondered the same thing.
posted by rcade at 12:30 PM on April 19, 2005

People are going to regard that as insensitive speculation,

honestly I thought it was implied a couple times in the original thread, and it's what I was saying in my comment above, so I don't know that it's that controversial an assumption. 35 years old with no cause of death listed in the obit is usually suicide or OD (which may come down to the same thing anyway)...

The thing about suicidal thoughts is that you really don't care if a website thinks you need to see a doctor. You understand that you're feeling suicidal, but it makes sense as a rational decision at that point.
posted by mdn at 1:09 PM on April 19, 2005

I don't want to move this away from the original thoughts here, but I just wanted to comment on what you wrote, mdn.

You're right, at that point a website probably won't help. The thing is, that it won't hurt either and if it even has the most remote possibility of helping, it's worth having around.
posted by spaghetti at 3:07 PM on April 19, 2005

Wow, I never saw that thread to begin with. That's really sad.

And rcade, I don't think it's insensitive speculation; I think it's what everyone reading the thread probably thought/wondered to themselves.

RIP poopy.

Okay, so writing RIP poopy makes me a chuckle a little, but maybe that would have amused him.
posted by xmutex at 3:12 PM on April 19, 2005

I wish I could say that I don't understand the thought process that would lead someone to make a decision to end their life (and of course we are only assuming that this is what has happened), but I do. It makes me sad to think that even one other human being has found themselves in such a low position, let alone that they have not been able to find a reason to climb out of it.

... at that point a website probably won't help.
Not only will it not hurt, but it could just be that tiny sliver of hope that makes a difference. It doesn't take much.
posted by dg at 3:33 PM on April 19, 2005

From the New Yorker article about people who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge:

The guy was in his thirties, lived alone, pretty bare apartment. He'd written a note and left it on his bureau. It said, 'I'm going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.'

Anything might help.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:12 PM on April 19, 2005

The worst and saddest irony is he isn't here to witness the outpouring of love and support which, had he known how many people here loved and appreciated him, might have affected his decision.
posted by fandango_matt at 6:46 PM on April 19, 2005

...If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.'

Yeah, I originally wrote more about this above, and then edited it down, maybe too much - what i was thinking was more along the lines of, being told you're diagnosable doesn't mean much when you're feeling suicidal. Being told you're loved can make a lot of difference, though (if you believe it). I guess the point is that it's an emotional thing, not a logical one - i.e., you are perfectly aware that you're 'depressed', but you think being depressed is the rational response to the situation (and depending on the situation it might be, to a certain extent).

Anyway, no need to go into all this - maybe a link wouldn't hurt. It's a nice idea, anyway.
posted by mdn at 9:09 PM on April 19, 2005

but...I wondered the same thing.

I'm sure a lot of us had. I appreciate the thought, rcade. I just don't think it does much good to leave things like suicide undiscussed - and the word itself unsaid, for that matter - in situations like this. (mkultra had already hinted at it, btw.)

But I am glad the news (which seems fairly clear, though not yet certain) arrived so late, and so gently, in the memorial thread.
posted by mediareport at 11:56 PM on April 19, 2005

The worst and saddest irony is he isn't here to witness the outpouring of love and support which, had he known how many people here loved and appreciated him, might have affected his decision.
Well, i think he's in a better place, and his cares and worries and troubles are gone.

Whether we would have changed anything is doubtful, but it's a good reminder to always thank and acknowledge others, even for small things. Something we all forget to do all the time.
posted by amberglow at 4:29 PM on April 20, 2005