Comments on: Spoonfed used to host a metatalk parody that's gone now

Spoonfed used to host a metatalk parody that's gone now

yhbc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:21:04 -0800

metatalk parody. no comment from me, i'll leave that to everyone else.

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:26:15 -0800

yes?

what.

By: C17H19NO3

C17H19NO3 — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:29:33 -0800

*looks at dates*

...and this came from where?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:31:22 -0800

DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING!

We
have
a
winner.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:36:39 -0800

Terse agreement with call-out in original post.

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:37:02 -0800

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:39:45 -0800

ohhhh. I get it. You are saying that the infamous "9622" thread is like MetaTalk. AH HA HA HAHAHAHAAAA HA HAA HA. HA. haha. ha. *ahem*

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:41:53 -0800

yhbc has been waiting a long time to do this. I can't decide if it is gross trolling or brilliant satire.

By: C17H19NO3

C17H19NO3 — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:42:06 -0800

I just noticed that the old MeFi thread and this current MeTa thread are both "9622"s...

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:49:46 -0800

yes. and for that, I give kudos. [not the ridiculous fake-ass chocolate bar thingy]

By: C17H19NO3

C17H19NO3 — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:51:12 -0800

mmm, fake-ass chocolate bar thingy...

*drools*

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:55:39 -0800

Threat to sever own extremity if not determined to be correct in MeFi argument.

By: I EAT TAPES

I EAT TAPES — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:56:36 -0800

(droll comment and obscure witticism)

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:57:06 -0800

Sarcastic comment about other participants in the thread who have no sense of humor.

By: greasy_skillet

greasy_skillet — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 17:59:51 -0800

drunken spasm.

By: mischief

mischief — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:04:01 -0800

Evolution at work. ;-P

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:38:59 -0800

(reference to alcohol and futile absurdist plea for peace)

By: birdsquared

birdsquared — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:39:51 -0800

Egregious insult about the intelligence, morality, or motivation (or all three) of a poster based on how what they've written before is a repudiation of what they are now espousing.

By: mygothlaundry

mygothlaundry — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:43:42 -0800

Comment on how metatalk is deteriorating; plea for newbies to shut up and let Matt do his job.

By: me3dia

me3dia — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:44:53 -0800

Flinging of poo.

By: eyeballkid

eyeballkid — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:44:56 -0800

i love you yhbc.

By: jonson

jonson — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:45:26 -0800

Christ. I've been a member of this site for three years, and I just completely don't get this at all. At. All. Help me out, commish. Anyone? Are you literally just complaining that Metatalk has become too chatty? Man I feel dumb...

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:45:30 -0800

Insertion of horizontal rule preceded by explanation of implied meaning should further posts appear below said rule.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:46:56 -0800

Accusation of hypocricy and cognitive dissonance, with multiple links to subject's posting history.

By: cmonkey

cmonkey — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:47:32 -0800

what what

By: dg

dg — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:49:41 -0800

Insensitive put-down suggesting that yhbc needs to go outside and get a life.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 18:58:55 -0800

*firebombs own tank*

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:00:44 -0800

My cat's breath smells like Domo-Kun.

By: I EAT TAPES

I EAT TAPES — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:02:45 -0800

cmonkey, I totally nailed her.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:05:27 -0800

Inappropriate lewd comment.

By: stet

stet — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:06:20 -0800

Reference to bucket of cocks.

By: Feisty

Feisty — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:11:22 -0800

I thought we weren't going with picture sigs.

By: keswick

keswick — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:14:46 -0800

mildly witty but mostly annoying tagline.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:15:16 -0800

what?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:15:48 -0800

no fair posting my drag pics.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:25:57 -0800

Incredibly
long
posting
of
song
lyrics
that
only
tangentially
apply.

I
mean
it!
Long
Long
Long

Repeat
Chorus
even.

So
that
one
is
forced
to drag
the
cursor
downward.

Long
Long
Long.

And
you
wonder
why
anyone
would
have
that
much
free
time.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:31:40 -0800

Comment from sockpuppet accusing others of using sockpuppets.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:33:22 -0800

Brilliant. Of course, it's easy to think of things like this when you spend the morning watching "Jenny Jones" in your boxer shorts while the rest of the civilized world is working.

By: mischief

mischief — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:35:57 -0800

Insert haiku here
if you have the intellect
to think one up.

By: darukaru

darukaru — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:37:00 -0800

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:37:58 -0800

Acknowledgment that the subject matter and/or the phrasing of the post may not have been understandable to all members; profuse apologies.

Vigorous assertion of good intentions! Appeal to community-building, continuity and appreciation of shared history, et al.

Lame summation of previous points. One-liner which hopefully will be later quoted as a tagline.

On preview: vicious verbal assault on ColdChef's parentage.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:38:01 -0800

Gentle, less-than-serious callout of puke & cry for posting lame picture.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:39:46 -0800

A second successive annoying post, making the obvious point that poster missed the annoying picture from third party, immediately before his post about second party's annoying picture.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:40:14 -0800

watching "Jenny Jones" in your boxer shorts

Jenny Jones is wearing Da Commish's boxers? They must go up over her head.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:40:20 -0800

Apology for confusing syntax tied clumsily to apology for sidetracking the thread.

By: [!]

[!] — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:40:36 -0800

Suggestion that someone "flag it and move on."

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:44:52 -0800

MetaFilter: One-liner which hopefully will be later quoted as a tagline.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:47:08 -0800

Reference to fabled "cult thread" that seemed funny at the time, but now seems embarrassing and a complete waste of time.

Comment asking what happened to signal, mattpfeff, tj, kafkaesque, kokogiak, zempf, Miguel, goneill, j.edwards, Optamystic, evanizer, and all the rest who made me laugh so hard for so long...

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:48:31 -0800

Sad realization that others have moved on leaving me stuck here with you fuckwads.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:48:51 -0800

Acceptance. *flings*

By: weston

weston — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:49:12 -0800

Non-sequitur in attempt to turn argument into unrestrained silliness.

By: Galvatron

Galvatron — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:49:39 -0800

Lengthy expression of outrage* that cannot be adequately conveyed by "flagging it."

* Tangential snark about ColdFusion reliability.

By: y2karl

y2karl — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:49:41 -0800

Maude Lovejoy tagline.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:53:58 -0800

A clumsy refrence to vibrating pancakes in pastel suits.

By: y2karl

y2karl — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:54:15 -0800

Oops, Helen Lovejoy impression, that is...

*Nelson Muntz impression at self to the 2nd power*

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:54:52 -0800

maude is Flanders wife. The Rev's wife is named Helen.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:55:18 -0800

phew. you've restored my faith in you.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 19:56:19 -0800

Irritated suggestion that earlier poster's account being free of charge implies lack of reliability obligations, followed by sniveling suck-up to site creator.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:05:57 -0800

Offhanded request for feature that would cost site creator thousands of dollars and thousands of hours recreating site from scratch. Indignant comment suggesting that he should have allowed for this feature six years ago when this site was put together on a lark and the technology for the feature didn't exist.

Confession that I have no idea how computers, the internet, or even basic toasters work.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:33:49 -0800

We'll never reach 1700.

By: furiousthought

furiousthought — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:34:07 -0800

Following along with in-joke that commenter wasn't bright enough or quick enough or possibly registered enough to follow along with the first time around.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:34:23 -0800

bitter envious castigation of administrator.

By: dg

dg — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:41:04 -0800

Droll comment noting that the person who started this thread is a member of the 14k brigade and how cool is that?

By: I EAT TAPES

I EAT TAPES — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:44:31 -0800

Comment about eating an item featured in a prior comment.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:47:56 -0800

feelingnostalgic

By: wendell

wendell — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 20:50:35 -0800

Wa-a-a-ay overdue obligatory link to 9622.net.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:03:09 -0800

PLEASE
OBLIVIATE
PANCAKES
MATT?!

...they vibrate

By: Galvatron

Galvatron — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:07:31 -0800

Suggestion that the #mefi cabal should be more open in their practices for governing MetaFilter.

By: anastasiav

anastasiav — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:09:45 -0800

[short statement which hopefully conveys how very excellent I think this is]

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:15:08 -0800

Adjective verbing past possessive noun.

By: arse_hat

arse_hat — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:17:39 -0800

I missed the post referenced in the post about the post. Could SOMEONE PLEASE start a new post somewhere so I can catch up?

By: jasper411

jasper411 — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:19:21 -0800

Mention that this is all Bush's fault.

By: warbaby

warbaby — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:23:17 -0800

*Puzzled silence*

Now how the heck did that happen?

By: Bdave

Bdave — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:28:11 -0800

post indicating I have read this far in the thread

By: deborah

deborah — Mon, 06 Jun 2005 21:34:16 -0800

Oblivious comment asking what "." means.

By: nobody

An unbelievably long and long-winded exposition on a hot political subject by a subject matter expert or a first-hand witness, cut and paste from the online article from which it was taken, and likely a very cogent point of fact that would significantly inform the reader and assist in forming a quality opinion (and one that is likely to be more "liberal" or cynical of the government's claim or ability to do "good"), if only one should read it, but probably won't, as it is indeed very long, very wordy, and very small.

The remaining paragraphs are cut and paste from the Christian Science Monitor, a surprisingly liberal publication. The Boston Globe reported Sunday that the provision in the bill, sponsored by committee chair Republican Senator Pat Roberts of Kansas, "would lift one of the last restrictions on special warrants the FBI can obtain through a secret court originally set up to monitor foreign spies: that the information the bureau wants must be related to international terrorism or foreign intelligence."

Instead, the FBI could use the warrants, which bypass normal constitutional safeguards, to look for evidence of unrelated crimes that it could use to get suspects off the street. The wiretap provision is one of three major additions in the draft bill, which would reauthorize the Patriot Act, the package of enhanced law enforcement powers enacted after the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

If the bill became law, it also would give FBI agents the power to write their own subpoenas without permission from a judge, allowing them to seize records from hotels, banks, and Internet service providers. This provision would require the FBI to make periodic reports to Congress about how often it uses that power to obtain library records, bookstore and firearms sales receipts, and medical or tax records.
CNN reported in late March that conservative and liberals groups who are normally "at each other's throats" will work together to "gut major provisions" of the current anti-terrorism law.

Gregory D. Miller, US attorney for the Northern District of Florida, writes in The Tallahassee Democrat that concern about the Patriot Act being used for non-terrorist related criminal investigations has proven unfounded.
To date, the act's delayed notice provisions have been used in less than one-fifth of 1 percent of all federal search warrants. In one of the rare but critical instances in which delayed notice was employed, the act enabled agents to secretly seize more than 30,000 pills of the hallucinogen ecstasy from a drug courier without jeopardizing the long-term investigation of the international drug organization that employed him.

That's 30,000 pills that never made it to the streets, or the nightclubs, or the college campuses for which they were destined. In the massive take-down that took place fewer than 30 days after the ecstasy seizure, investigators put that drug organization out of business, arresting more than 100 of its key members. The Patriot Act enabled law enforcement to take those drugs off our streets, without tipping off the people responsible for their distribution.
The Washington Post reports on one case where the Patriot Act was used as it was originally intended, that of former University of South Florida professor Sami al-Aria, who was indicted in 2003 on charges of "conspiracy to commit racketeering through the murder of Israelis, money laundering and other crimes."
US officials were allowed to use the FISA [Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act] intercepts in the case because the USA Patriot Act of 2001 and a FISA appeals court decision in 2003 had torn down the long-unbreachable wall between FBI criminal investigators and intelligence personnel. The legal wall had previously prevented FBI intelligence agents from sharing any information about the FISA taps with agents pursuing criminal cases.
But Anita Ramasastry, a columnist for FindLaw.com, a legal resources website, argues that not only should some of the previous sections of the act be scrapped, but that adding some of these new wiretap sections are a direct assault on the US Constitution.
PAREA should be rejected, or substantially modified to allow review by a neutral judge (a federal judge, not an administrative judge).

The government has obtained a broad range of powers in intelligence investigations – especially against foreigners, but also against US citizens. Given the secrecy with which these investigations are conducted, their wide scope, and the lack of checks and balances, independent judicial review – requiring a factual premise and particularized suspicion for a subpoena to be authorized – are the very minimum required to safeguard our liberty.
In an editorial, The Muskegon [Michigan] Chronicle argues that even if the Act is renewed, the current Act's "Sunset Provisions" must be renewed as well.
Last week, the Senate Intelligence Committee began work -- in secret, no less -- to mark up a new Patriot Act with even tougher provisions that among other things would allow for the issuance of "administrative subpoenas" not requiring the permission of a judge who has reviewed the evidence beforehand. Minority Democrats are too weak to put up much opposition, but let's at least hope that a bipartisan majority of legislators has enough sense -- and yes, patriotism -- to tack similar sunset provisions onto this next Patriot Act.

Otherwise the "War on Terror," at least from a constitutional standpoint, is liable to go on forever. To paraphrase a line from a current movie, is this how liberty dies?
The San Francisco Chronicle is also critical of the decision to hold these hearings behind closed doors. Sen. Roberts has said in the past that he needs to hold these meetings in secret because of the sensivitity of the intelligence matters being discussed. But the Chronicle argues that a "closed-door session would allow the committee to expand a law that affects the basic freedoms of the American people without public scrutiny or debate."

In an editorial for usatoday.com, Sen. Roberts argues, however, that the Congress needs to give the FBI "all legal tools" to fight terrorism, which it will use within its constitutional limits.
Today's FBI honors the rule of law, is bound by executive orders and attorney general guidelines, and is subject to vigorous oversight by congressional committees that will monitor closely how it uses administrative subpoenas. In four years, I predict we will find again that the tool was used wisely and that allegations of abuse are not supported by facts - and Americans will be safer.
But the Detroit Free Press reports that Democratic Sen. Diane Feinstein of California, who is also on the Senate Intelligence Committee and plans to press for the hearing to be made public starting Tuesday, was skeptical of her colleague's claims. "This is a very broad power, with no check on that power. It's carte blanche for a fishing expedition." Christian Science Monitor

Doesn't this belong in MetaTalk?

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 01:09:11 -0800

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 01:22:46 -0800

Vituperative statement regarding comments of scatological and flatulent nature so as to imply moral and intellectual inferiority of comment authors followed by obligatory complaint that MeTa's good old days are long gone.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:03:18 -0800

*prays against all hope to not have nightmares about midget, bucktoothed, tweaker bears*

By: handee

handee — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:10:17 -0800

five dollar n00b saying something that someone has already said before about not quite understanding the joke.

By: puddinghead

puddinghead — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:11:49 -0800

By: iconomy

iconomy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:29:40 -0800

Standard comment about this thread needing more cowbell, with added bonus of related animated gif.

By: mr.marx

mr.marx — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:31:43 -0800

something about not wanting to see rectum

By: dhruva

dhruva — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:43:36 -0800

Reminder what metatalk is really about, also in suitable animated gif form
via

By: handee

handee — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:45:43 -0800

five dollar n00b finally getting it

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:54:35 -0800

guyz remeber to not use picturez too mcuh won't sumone pleeze think of teh bandwidth

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:57:08 -0800

Dammit, gramschmidt, I'm every bit as rabid a liberal as you are, but I'm calling you out. This is ridiculous. A single-link NewsFilter FPP laced with links to comments in another MeFi thread? I appreciate your agenda, but seriously, get your own blog, at least until you can pull these scraps into something more meaningful.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:58:40 -0800

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 02:59:28 -0800

Observation about something making the baby Jesus cry.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:07:43 -0800

Statement revealing that I have no real information about the subject at hand, or reason for posting. Insert obvious rhetorical question here?

By: tr33hggr

tr33hggr — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:43:07 -0800

Bucket. Cocks.

By: tizzie

tizzie — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 03:48:31 -0800

1) YHBC sees auspicious thread number approaching.
2) Hatches brilliant scheme.
3)????
4) PROFIT!!!

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:05:42 -0800

Oh, yeah - I'm taking this moment to announce that I'm officially leaving MetaFilter.
The reason for this is obvious, as I opened my fridge this morning and realised there wasn't any milk.

So now I'm heading off to the store, perhaps to purchase some celery and a few other items as well. Please don't expect me to ever retrn to MeFi again until about 45 minutes from now, when I'll go off on some preceived slight which I'll spot in spite of promising myself I'd put the this thread and ninja videogame discussion behind me.

[I've now launched off in an unwarranted rambling diatribe against Matt, in a misguided effort of making myself feel superior to everyone. I'm also informing newcomers to this thread that I'm indeed stepping out for a bit, rather than merely logging off minus the fanfare. LOTS of CAPITAL LETTERS are randomly included to better express my rapidly escalating VITRIOL. Having realised Matt hasn't had a chance to respond yet, as I'm still previewing the post, I berate him some more...]

By: handee

handee — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:07:21 -0800

5 dollar n00b reads Smart Dalek's post and is pleased that now there is one less 14ker to worry about.

By: taz

taz — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:11:17 -0800

Pipes in about something or somebody being "creepy".

By: handee

handee — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 04:16:09 -0800

5 dollar n00b tries to ingratiate herself with the ~~in-crowd~~cabal by using as many in-jokes in a 9622 thread as possible.

Metafilter: so these 14kers, they're vibrating bucket of drama queens?

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:05:53 -0800

Invoking of "Summon Bevets" card.

By: ChrisTN

ChrisTN — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:06:06 -0800

I'd hit it.

By: blag

blag — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:07:01 -0800

Hate-filled invective aimed at yhbc for re-posting something which everyone has already seen on Kottke, BoingBoing, Fark and LGF.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:11:47 -0800

narcissist bitch camgirl wannabe objects to violation of personal photostream.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:13:01 -0800

notes the difference between mefi and fark is that fark works.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:14:17 -0800

Flagging of this post as "double".

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:16:00 -0800

Flagging of this post as "double".

By: blag

blag — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:17:51 -0800

By: jenovus

jenovus — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:19:52 -0800

ZING ZANG
WIPPITY WOOOOOO

By: jenovus

jenovus — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:20:30 -0800

Also: has anyone seen my belt? This is a serious question.

By: jenovus

jenovus — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:22:54 -0800

NEVER MIND, FALSE ALARM: it was still between my teeth.

By: romakimmy

romakimmy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:44:26 -0800

I ♥ the Commish, but I can't believe y'all haven't sent up the signal yet

By: iconomy

iconomy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:50:09 -0800

Scans the comments for funny remarks and then announces who "wins".

By: sciurus

sciurus — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 05:50:46 -0800

statement expressing glumness at arriving late to the thread.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 06:01:07 -0800

Comment reminding users that the img tag is only here at the sufferance of #1, and that the shenanigans in this thread imperil our ability to ever see another STFU NOOB! picture here on MeTa.

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 06:04:46 -0800

Sad attempt to make up for the fact that I didn't get an account before the original 9622 thread closed.

By: y2karl

y2karl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 06:05:12 -0800

Decloaks from Portugal to make effusive charming return to adulation of many and teeth gnashing of few.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 06:08:07 -0800

Snarky comment about this being just one more pissing contest.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 06:16:22 -0800

Posts far after the party has moved on, wonders why no one ever responds to 7k users posts.

By: dios

dios — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 08:58:41 -0800

Suggestion that the #mefi cabal should be more open in their practices for governing MetaFilter.
posted by Galvatron at 9:07 PM PST on June 6

#mefi cabal? Nonsense. I'm not aware of anyone on #mefi who wears red yarn around their wrist.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:25:30 -0800

Repetitive whinging about server reliability even though he snuck in the back door and didn't pay the $5 cover charge.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:31:58 -0800

Righteous indignation over lengthy inaccessibility of free Net Crack.

By: orthogonality

orthogonality — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:33:38 -0800

Repeated attempts to derail discussion rather than responding to the substance of post that challenges my ideological preconceptions; derail will include whinging about poster's use of small fonts, ad hominem attacks on poster, and specious speculation about poster's motivations.

By: dios

dios — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:42:12 -0800

Repeated use of "STFU Lib'urls rants" as if they were (a) humorous, (b) biting satire, or (c) effective in any regard.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:43:59 -0800

Punches orthogonality in the junk.

On preview: Punches dios in the junk as well.

By: dios

dios — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:44:54 -0800

/me likes being punched in the junk

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:46:07 -0800

Dangles participles fetchingly.

By: matildaben

matildaben — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:49:15 -0800

Criticism of MeFi for being boyzone.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:58:31 -0800

Tweaks WolfDaddy's participles.

By: Specklet

Specklet — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:02:48 -0800

Comment containing identical observation as previous comment up-thread, thereby making it obvious that the poster was too lazy to read the whole thread.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:23:55 -0800

Longs for hope from administrator.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:25:24 -0800

Long, genteel comment using the subjunctive twice and quoting something in a foreign language. Further call for Miguel.

Muttered complaint about difficulty in posting a lighthearted bit of japery and maintaining light heart while being betrayed by server.

By: danOstuporStar

danOstuporStar — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:27:32 -0800

/me peforates asshat commenter.

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:39:28 -0800

Attempts snarky comment but accidentally

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:39:57 -0800

Explains that the attempted snarky comment above would have been really funny if someho the previous message was not sent before it was finished.

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:40:18 -0800

Attempts to correct misspelling in previous post. Makes secon misspelling.

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:40:34 -0800

Apologizes for the number of posts. Promises won't post again for a while.

Makes plaintive cry about having a rough day.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:43:07 -0800

*hands papercake a tubgirl lollypop*

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:43:34 -0800

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:48:08 -0800

Can't help self, takes tubgirl lollipop and starts licking, with eyes closed.

Apologizes for posting so soon after promising not to.

By: grateful

grateful — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 10:51:36 -0800

Spits on keyboard, monitor. Blames others and demands replacement.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:04:45 -0800

[nothing inside]

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:34:35 -0800

Arrives late, as always.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:35:09 -0800

Seemingly innocent request for financial assistance from other members.

By: caddis

caddis — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:40:15 -0800

Futile denunciation of thread as ChatFilter.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:44:09 -0800

Expression of regret at not having arrived sooner.

By: Quadroonian

Quadroonian — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:44:43 -0800

::::hugs metafilter::::

By: orange swan

orange swan — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:46:07 -0800

Pseudo profound statement summing up the entire thread.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:47:54 -0800

Formal announcement that this is the end of the thread.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:52:41 -0800

Secret Life of Gravy = Kwantsar = mcgraw = dfowler = TDDL = u.n. owen = Heywood Mogroot

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:56:17 -0800

quotes vaguely apropos Clash or Jam lyrics; inadvertantly re-summons jonmc.

By: orthogonality

orthogonality — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 11:57:26 -0800

Attempts to excuse the inexcusable by making appeals to authority in the form of mentioning yet again that I'm a lawyer, while in the same comment making clear my utter disregard for the 1st, 4th, 5th, and especially 8th Amendments.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:01:09 -0800

Announcement that some number of comments ending in two zeros will not be reached.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:07:35 -0800

Logs on drunk naked, and questionably unwashed,. Posts lengty well-intentioned but confrontationald iatribe about something tangantial to the actual thread topic that devolve into therapy session; Posts are wife with strange and inexcsuable punctiation and typos. and Posts immediate follow-up apology in wrong thread and passes out, remembering nothing

By: dios

dios — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:08:52 -0800

Making nebulous references to unspecified comments and asserting baseless and unsupported legal critiques of someone's argument beyond a mere ipse dixit throwaway line.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:19:03 -0800

quotes vaguely apropos Clash or Jam lyrics; inadvertantly re-summons jonmc.

makes musically arcane and bumblingly flirtatious response. Then calls everyone hipster doofuses and passes out.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:19:05 -0800

Betrays profound constitutional ignorance by assuming 14th amendment applies to cops who taser naxosaxur's nudism thread without her express written permission.

By: anapestic

anapestic — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:19:07 -0800

Brief comment posted in vain hope of having last word as thread prepares to scroll off MeTa front page.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:23:32 -0800

Give self tug-job in front of newly created mosaic of 70x70 blurry jpegs of Mefites.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:23:44 -0800

Remains stunningly true to form by pantsing jonmc, knowing he'll remember nothing in the morning.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:41:47 -0800

barfs beer-foam over stealth pantser.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:42:09 -0800

long impassioned diatribe on behalf of civic duty and polite consideration imploring all posters to reconsider their motivations before calling other out that is largely ignored because it's irrelevant.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:44:07 -0800

followed by snarky knee-jerk insult.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:46:31 -0800

and complete bewilderment at the fact that people object to knee-jerk snark.

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 12:46:44 -0800

naxosaxur's nudism thread

Wow. I missed that one.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:00:27 -0800

Expression of dismay at general decline of MeTa. Regretful announcement of permanent departure.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:15:37 -0800

Disgusted annoyance at lack of sympathetic response to permanent departure.

By: y2karl

y2karl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:20:21 -0800

Gratuitously slimes member on personal shitlist while demanding third member show a minimum of class and apologize to fourth member for unfair treatment thereof.

By: anapestic

anapestic — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:22:46 -0800

Sarcastic request for someone to think about the children.

By: anapestic

anapestic — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:25:08 -0800

Premature attempt to post 200th comment to thread.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:27:22 -0800

Expression of good riddance towards poster who has announced permanent departure.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:29:19 -0800

Request for permanently departed poster to reconsider.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:30:26 -0800

Gleeful observance of having posted the 200th comment.

By: me3dia

me3dia — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:40:44 -0800

Dismissal of other members as fat, retarded drama queens, followed by self-righteous, unapologetic defense of the use of hotbutton terms, beginning with a "Sorry if I offended someone, but" and finishing with it's just a website, after all."

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:41:47 -0800

responds enthusiastically (in small type to indicate beginning of tangential music discussion) to band referred to in jonmc's flirtatious response; realizes first saw said band in early '80s; makes obligatory exhortation to fictional "kids" to get off fictional "lawn."

By: me3dia

me3dia — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:43:25 -0800

Quick post-publish amendment, in this case to insert a quote mark before "it's."

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:44:07 -0800

gets nervous about bands scody saw in the early 80's, defensively refers to record by 1960's outfit so obscure that even the members immediate family haven't heard it

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:45:28 -0800

Takes deep personal offense at being called a "fat, retarded drama queen". Demands apologies and recompense in the form of tar-and-feathering.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:46:30 -0800

stirs tar. plucks chickens.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:47:02 -0800

deals with vegetarians angry response to chicken plucking.

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:49:01 -0800

Says something that pisses off enough people to drag this out another 800 posts.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:49:20 -0800

Whoah, 9622 has 1729 comments! 1729 is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes two different ways.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:49:33 -0800

Pre-emptive observation that 300 will never be reached, and if it does, Matt should close the thread as by that time we'll have devolved into ee cummings.

Promise uttered that this will be poster's last comment in thread.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:50:07 -0800

makes reference to crying baby jesus, baby jessamyn, and mathowie's baby

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:50:35 -0800

Repeats demand for apology.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:51:51 -0800

After posting: breaks own promise in order to opine that it sure took a long time for some people to show up to the party, and just when poster is leaving it, too. Conpsiracies, coincidences, cabals all mentioned.

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:54:04 -0800

only MetaFilter has such small hands

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:56:16 -0800

breezily sidesteps issue of unheard-of 1960s record (jonmc wins this round!) with reference to mekons t-shirt

responds in preview to WolfDaddy with insouciant remark about shooter on the grassy knoll.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:56:21 -0800

Vigorous back-slapping of kenko an irrational number of times. Oh, say, exp(pi*sqrt163) times.

By: thatweirdguy2

thatweirdguy2 — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:58:52 -0800

Informs readers that Duke sucks. Posts. Reconsiders. Redirects browser to different website.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 13:59:30 -0800

chimes back in: speaking of t-shirts and meetups, makes faux-hurt remark to matteo about his recently promised t-shirt shoutout that never materialized; summons splatta, plutor, or nomad.

By: thatweirdguy2

thatweirdguy2 — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:00:56 -0800

I'd like to open a discussion on the seemingly growing trend of users pissing in threads. My opinion of these habitual thread-pissers is _____. My suggestion to Matt is _____.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:01:21 -0800

ups obscurity ante by referring to Zambonis t-shirt that he is in fact wearing at this exact moment

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:05:01 -0800

Taps foot impatiently.

REPEATS DEMAND FOR APOLOGY IN ALL CAPS.

Lashes out angrily at various third parties.

By: PapaLobo

PapaLobo — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:05:59 -0800

Creates unrecognizable sockpuppet account to rebut scody's insouciant grassy knoll nonsense, safe in the knowledge that sockpuppet's true identity will never be figured out.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:07:23 -0800

Fashions a lusty screed based on own expertise in this area but quickly loses interest and makes smartass remark instead.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:08:28 -0800

Notices entrance of sockpuppet, disdainfully observes that someone paid $5 for it.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:09:18 -0800

Glum return to thread following jessamyn's deletion of my MeFi post, which attempted to employ 9,622 hyperlinks as a means of mocking this discussion.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:10:57 -0800

pokes with stick.

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:13:05 -0800

Whoah, 9622 has 1729 comments! 1729 is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes two different ways.

I forget where I read that story about Ramanujan . . . GEB?

By: dios

dios — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:13:30 -0800

Points out this thread will never reach a high number of comments because Metafilter isn't up long enough for more than 2 or 3 comments before it crashes again.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:16:27 -0800

Full os self-important scorn, notes that I didn't have to pay for my membership.

keeps to self thought that despite being an oldtimer, no one knows who I am

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:17:40 -0800

Breaks awkward syntactical tradition to say I don't know where you read it, Ryvar, but it's here, too.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:18:22 -0800

Compulsively must apologize for spelling error, even though everyone knew what I meant.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:19:14 -0800

flirtatiously compliments jon's zambonis shirt; attempts to get back in game by seeing jon's obscurity ante and raising it with a side of coincedence by mentioning that scody herself is wearing t-shirt of now-defunct band, whose lead singer (and friend of scody) once broke neck in a freak hockey accident; obligatory fawning sidenote about said band's label-mates, leading to wistful rose-colored-glasses remembrance of various music clubs in Chicago.

On preview: cheerfully retorts to raedyn that scody herself knows who she is.

By: jonson

jonson — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:32:12 -0800

obsessively track various comments in thread, makes not of them on user page.

By: jonson

jonson — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:33:17 -0800

compulsively must apologize for spelling error ("not" = "note") even though everyone knew what I meant.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:38:15 -0800

Angrily lashes out at everyone for ignoring repeated requests for apology.

By: naomi

naomi — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:38:32 -0800

Angry diatribe against evil pony-hating mathowie, followed by nostalgic plea for return to good old days when the site stayed up long enough to read a 1,729-comment thread [pauses to smack dios for joke theft] and all MetaFilter members were polite and brilliant and charming and dynamite in the sack.

Accuses everyone else of being ignorant fucking assholes who couldn't find their ass with a knife in both hands, and why do you have to take everything so personally anyway? Refuses to apologize for speaking the truth!

Days later, quietly confesses to having drunk three quarts of Scope mouthwash after mistaking it for Budweiser. Submits anonymous AskMe question titled "Crystal Meth: How Much is Too Much?"

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:39:12 -0800

HAS

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:39:24 -0800

APOPLECTIC

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:39:30 -0800

FIT

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:39:39 -0800

OVER

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:39:46 -0800

MULTIPLE

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:39:54 -0800

COMMENTS

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:40:51 -0800

TOTAL FLAMEOUT.

Leaves under supervision of white-coated escorts.

By: naomi

naomi — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:40:54 -0800

Secretly thinks casu marzu is being a total drama queen but decides not to risk saying it out loud.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:42:02 -0800

Just read this post from last night. Looks like a bit of drunk posting, huh?

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:42:28 -0800

And even some today!

By: naomi

naomi — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:42:50 -0800

Flags casu marzu's last comment as "fantastic" instead.

By: neckro23

neckro23 — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:44:37 -0800

inane last-minute contribution to thread, repeating what someone else already said

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:44:58 -0800

checks jonson's user page to see if he's added any new grudges.

Asks naomi exactly which charming MeFites were dynamite in the sack.

considers snidely asking casu marzu if some money for busfare to Jeopardy! tryouts will help; decides against posting it for fear of opening up can of u.n.oworms

By: brownpau

brownpau — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:45:43 -0800

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:45:59 -0800

Ummm.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:48:57 -0800

Pedant corrects kenko, explains that 91 is the smallest number expressible as the sum of two cubes two different ways.

Pedant further suggests that kenko use "positive" as a qualifier in the future.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 14:49:37 -0800

Casually recalls having seen jonmc's "1960's outfit so obscure that even the members' immediate family haven't heard it" when they played Maxwell's during a brief reunion in the early '80s (with a remark about having seen the Mekons there the following week and a flirtatious wink at scody); reminisces about the walk from the train station up Washington Street.

On preview, apologizes to casu marzu, though he can't remember what the apology is for.

adamvasco — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 15:12:16 -0800

rushes to defend attack on commentator and then realises hasn't read post so is forced to prevaricate and then pretend to apologise.

thomcatspike — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 15:56:47 -0800

Surprised yhbc didn't post this thread’s 22 & 96 comment, this being his work…napping?
[/joking];P

By: blag

blag — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 15:59:38 -0800

Really fucking annoying post destined to incurr wrath of every human being on the planet.

By: dios

dios — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:00:12 -0800

Wonders if the prodigal son is done fishing and is making a return.

Make that "Hopes".

By: blag

blag — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:00:16 -0800

By: i_cola

i_cola — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:00:23 -0800

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:05:42 -0800

Wonders if the prodigal son is done fishing and is making a return.

"here, calfy, calfy..."

By: naomi

naomi — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:10:48 -0800

Makes reprehensible joke about the boyzone; punchline = "dynamite in the sack."

Feels badly about it later.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:27:14 -0800

Posts nonsensically and enthusiastically to indicate that she was able to gain momentary access to thread.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:30:01 -0800

*refreshes*

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:31:10 -0800

Emotionally distraught post asking why everyone is ignoring her when she only wants to know what "." means.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:33:36 -0800

gratuitous links to blogs full of great mp3z to prove he is still king of Obscure Mountain.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:34:31 -0800

angrily tells deborah that it's an internet symbol of tribute and mourning and asks her testily to please try and keep up.

By: thedevildancedlightly

thedevildancedlightly — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:36:32 -0800

Jumps into pile-on like a rugger for the all-blacks.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:38:56 -0800

Comments on impending approach of double zero comment count on thread.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:41:16 -0800

Posts triumphantly that she's the 300 commenter.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:41:55 -0800

Posts shamefacedly that this is the actual 300th post.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:43:39 -0800

non-sequiturious description of my dinner: sausage, peppers, and mozzarella sub. realizes that he would've prefered sweet or hot red peppers to green. makes do.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:43:44 -0800

Points out that she got it anyway and offers to make her pancakes. Or was it waffles?

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:47:31 -0800

Awarded to deborah

Retinal-scarring use of the IMG, BLINK and MARQUEE tagsto denote successful MetaTalk clusterfuck as measured in some number of comments divisible by 100

By: blag

blag — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:50:33 -0800

Realises he could have done so much better.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:56:58 -0800

Makes pseudo snarky retort about how jonmc is constantly talking about music, food or alcohol. Realizes that she's craving a cheesesteak sandwich, wouldn't say no to a drink and has been without music, or a sense of humor, for days.

Wanders off, verbally scratching ass, but not before further derailing the thread by alternately opining and lamenting the differences between East Coast and West Coast delicatessens in a blatant and obtuse attempt to gain some kind of highly desired but always elusive 'street cred' with the use of references that few, if any, can decipher.

By: squirrel

squirrel — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:58:25 -0800

Can each of you loan me $5?

By: underer

underer — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 16:59:20 -0800

posts another "." knowing that two have already been posted, but hoping that everyone understands that poster knows that two have already been posted. hopes this constitutes some form of sophisticated humor.

By: underer

underer — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:00:35 -0800

realizes the count was off. washes hands until raw.

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:06:06 -0800

Calls thedevildancedlightly a racist for implying that all Blacks like to jump on people.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:06:20 -0800

makes grilled 45 sandwich. realizes what he's done and drowns hi sorrows in Schlitz.

By: LionIndex

LionIndex — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:08:10 -0800

Repeated use of either the word "whappa" or "smock", meant to point out silliness of erstwhile opponent's argument or complaint.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:14:13 -0800

How dare squirrel imply (by asking people for DOLLARS) that all MeFites are Americans! How American to think everyone is American! I'm American, but I don't live there, so I'm exempt!

I also don't have $5. Do you want krónur? They've got fish on them...

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:14:34 -0800

This thread is a litmus test.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:15:14 -0800

Wonders aloud "WTF is a grilled 45 sandwich?"

By: papercake

papercake — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:18:37 -0800

Mentions haughtily that instead of bitching about [subject of which poster has tenuous grasp on], that you all could just fucking well skip the post. [Possible use of "cabal" or "clique" here, if unnecessary.]

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:18:57 -0800

Wonders aloud "WTF is a grilled 45 sandwich?"

Sighs. Explains that it's 45 as in 45rpm record in response to Frisbeegirl's "jonmc is constantly talking about music, food or alcohol." comment above.

Realizes that ericb may be too young to know what a 45rpm record is.

Cries. Drinks more beer.

Mentions that he's listening to Three Dog Night, apropos of nothing.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:21:31 -0800

A 45 is a sort of analog equivalent to a CD single. 78's being LP's or long players, 45's were used for hit songs.

Back in the day. You know, when we had to use 'hampsters' to power the world wide web. And I was likely babysitting your older siblings.

On preview: tips her can of Iron City in jonmc's direction.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:22:56 -0800

33's were long players, Frisbee Girl. 78's were what grandma listened to Bing Crosby on.

tips schlitz westward.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:24:24 -0800

although you are one year older than me, so we can bitch at the young'uns together.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:26:00 -0800

makes mention to jon of never having been to Spain; times jon's response

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:28:39 -0800

haha. I was listening to "Mama Told Me Not To Come," written by his majesty Randy Newman, but nice touch. But Winamp has moved on to Tim Hardin's "Reason To Believe", to be followed by Tim Rose's "Morning Dew." The 60's were really big on folkies named Tim.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:29:50 -0800

even the tiny ones.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:30:04 -0800

Dusts off old flashlight found in the attic, from before his time.

Wonders aloud: what is this? does is still work?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:30:54 -0800

gratuitously posts winamp playlist to destroy scody's hope of winning obscurantist pissing contest.

By: Staggering Jack

Staggering Jack — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:31:40 -0800

Staggers into the party a little late. . .

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:32:40 -0800

even the tiny ones.

Tiny Tim's real name was Herbert Khaury. He was half-Jewish/half-Lebanese, which may explain a lot. or something.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:35:33 -0800

in attempt to distract from terrifying playlist, casually asks which version of the Small Faces' "I'm Only Dreaming" jon prefers -- mono or stereo?

By: yhbc

yhbc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:38:12 -0800

Waves to mr_crash_davis, points out that he made that migs signal .jpg a few posts above this comment, so give the man some credit when you use it, dammit!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:38:51 -0800

mono, like all good Brit invasion fans.

casually asks scody if she knows that Ronnie Dante (the lead vocalist) of the Archies was briefly editor of the Paris Review.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:44:34 -0800

approving remark about superiority of mono version stereo version; gratuitous reference to Steve Marriott and, tangentially, Paul Weller.

corrects jon that Dante was the publisher of the Paris Review, not the editor.

Sheepishly fesses in small type that she had to google that last bit to be sure.

breezy sign-off to indicate impending departure from work and lack of clarity regarding what to prepare and consume for dinner.

By: scody

scody — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:47:03 -0800

small-typed correction to previous post -- "mono version over stereo version" -- that is wholly unnecessary and irritating to everyone who isn't jonmc; really does leave now.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 17:57:07 -0800

Suggests that someone take their conversation to email.

By: gd779

gd779 — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:03:20 -0800

Now this is something I just don't get.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:05:27 -0800

33's were long players, Frisbee Girl. 78's were what grandma listened to Bing Crosby on.

Well, that certainly explains my lifelong confusion between Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" and Disney's "It's a Small World" albums, doesn't it? And why my mother swore that I drove her to drinking and never let me touch the turntable again.

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:07:39 -0800

posts ". " to mark thread for future reference.

.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:11:18 -0800

Misses crash_davis' hot ass more than he cares to admit in pubic.

By: thedevildancedlightly

thedevildancedlightly — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:13:38 -0800

accuses somebody of being a shill, but claims not to care at all while defending it for the better part of 48 hours and 40 posts.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:19:17 -0800

Waits for the invocation of 'prying ____ from ___ cold dead hands' in response to WolfDaddy's post on crash's ass.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:22:38 -0800

Posts noting the irony of casu marzu's posting the "hot-linking prohibited" graphic when casu is stealing her bandwidth with the "Oh the Drama" graphic.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:22:56 -0800

debates aloud whether to repeat a disgusting anecdote a freind told me the other day. figures to hell with it:

the other day, the guy I mentioned in this comment were having a smoke in front of our work building. I mentioned that I'd had mexican at Chipotle the night before and that it's have given me the "ring of fire," effect.

"Oh that sucks," he replied, "a buddy of mine in college got that so bad he grabbed a chapstick and applied it to his holiest-of-holies. An hour or so later his freind came over and said 'this wind is killing my lips, can i use your chapstick' 'go right ahead'"

By: blag

blag — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:33:17 -0800

Comment containing identical observation as previous comment up-thread, thereby making it obvious that the poster was too lazy to read the whole thread.

By: underer

underer — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:46:25 -0800

posts comment which entirely misses/ruins blag's joke.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:15:19 -0800

Blatantly commandeers thread to trollpost about a political body which I think deserves more attention than any other matters discussed in this thread, relevant or otherwise.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:21:47 -0800

Comment wondering out loud about the 29 minute gap between the last two comments -- can't believe Matt's hardware would ever go down for that long.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:22:35 -0800

Rewatches Schizopolis to use vague weird language to score points...

Realizes same points scored in 1700 comment thread, decides not to try to score points but continues to watch Schizopolis...

By: lilboo

lilboo — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:25:33 -0800

lapses out of drama-queen-sulk to cancel all future meet-ups - mwwahhhahahaha!

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:37:50 -0800

By: birdsquared

birdsquared — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:38:00 -0800

Reflects seriously that for a parody, the posts in this thread really do encapsulate the entirety of the variety of modes of Meta: snarky, informational, rude, in-joke laden, stereotypical, character driven, obsessive, funny, strange, incomprehensible and above all - inimitably web-driven.

Oh, and you are all [more inside]

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:39:30 -0800

Lynsey — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 21:42:45 -0800

Links to this, hoping to find out, at last, if quonsar is glad to see me or is that a fish in his pants?

By: arse_hat

arse_hat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 21:43:48 -0800

Just wondering what it looks like this far down the page.

wendell — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:38:55 -0800

By: arse_hat

arse_hat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:41:58 -0800

It sucks but it's heading for 400!

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:56:10 -0800

Punishes loquacious for throwing lightswitch raves.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 22:59:59 -0800

Waits for inevitable scroll of TaglineFilter comments.

By: mediareport

mediareport — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:07:57 -0800

Reads, goes to bed without posting.

By: mrbula

mrbula — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:08:32 -0800

Late post making the same argument as 385 previous comments, because poster didn't have time to read the whole thread.

By: arse_hat

arse_hat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:12:15 -0800

Rags on mediareport and mrbula for not being team players.

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:13:29 -0800

MetaFilter: Reads, goes to bed without posting

geekyguy — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:41:27 -0800

By: arse_hat

arse_hat — Tue, 07 Jun 2005 23:42:53 -0800

"Reconsiders. Dons arse-hat." WooHoo!

By: nobody

nobody — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 00:03:43 -0800

A conciliatory gesture of appreciation toward mediareport and scody, attempting to diffuse any anger previously expressed.

An additional sentence, which, in attempting to nuance or elaborate on the earlier gesture, ends up making everything just so much worse.

By: scody

scody — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 00:36:12 -0800

Cheerful remark thanking birdsquared for compliment!

Friendly reassurance directed at nobody of actual lack of anger on part of self.

By: john

john — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 01:03:30 -0800

Wonders when will the hurting stop

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 01:09:13 -0800

Pedantic observation that loquacious spelled "Einsterzende Neubauten" correctly but forgot the "e" in "Wesly Willis". Ends with an annoying emoticon to piss off Stavros.

;)

By: john

john — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 01:11:42 -0800

Follow up in an attempt to show understanding made more obvious with link while maintaining lack of punctuation

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 01:15:07 -0800

Non sequitur comment about seeing a robin today.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:14:25 -0800

No longer non sequitur comment about borrowing a napkin from, propositioning and having pointless, decadent sex with a woman named Robin today.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:17:22 -0800

Reconsiderate self-castigation for insensitive, boorish, stereotypically masculine behavior.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:23:39 -0800

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:26:41 -0800

Expression of outrage and base disgust toward gramschmidt regarding all women named 'Robin'. How dare he? That was my mother's uncle's sister's best friend's name before her parents decided to name her 'Rachel'!

Becomes deeply offending on the part of all women named 'Robin', everywhere, who have ever lived or ever plan to live. Insists that gramschmidt can, in no way, know the trials of being a 'Robin' then, now or in the future.

Demands apology on behalf of civilization itself.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:28:59 -0800

Smugly posts in a way that indicates that she hopes gramschmidt is happy with himself now.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:32:25 -0800

Re-reads initial post and realizes she wrote 'offending' instead of 'offended'. Sheepishly acknowledges typing in the heat of emotion, but wholeheartedly reaffirms righteous indignation on the part of all Robins everywhere.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:48:58 -0800

Lengthy rumination over whether proper response is glum contrition, puff-chested bloviation, or absurdist stochasticism.

Dave Burch, noxious weed control coordinator in the Agriculture Department, said the state has about $2.1 million a year available for grants to help landowners kill weeds. That money comes from a $1.50 fee added to the cost of registering every vehicle in the state.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:51:10 -0800

Diminutive query as to what the fuck two west coasters are doing propagating this asinine thread at this hour.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:56:34 -0800

Lightens up in spite of self and begrudgingly registers amusement of choice of response.

Unless, of course, 'weed control' involves physical harm to robins! HEEEEEEY, waitaminit, mister!!

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 02:59:05 -0800

A quick review, restores sanity. (Or should I say 'sanity'?)

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:03:05 -0800

Two West Coasties? Who knew? We're holding down the fort until the 'All Clear' signal is issued...right? RIGHT?!?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:18:56 -0800

Precisely. We're heroes. But where's OUR parade?!?

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:32:01 -0800

Dooood. I'd've called, but you mighta been asleep. It was here. Last Sunday. Carnaval. Right past the flat and we all watched it from the livingroom window. It was great, but no ponies. Not a single one. I wept.

By: handee

handee — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:33:40 -0800

You're being watched by an army of european office workers, postgrads, students and housewives, sat bored at our desks. We might parade soon.
snarky aside referring to thread in the blue

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:54:53 -0800

Ooooo!! Will you bring ponies? Can we be in the parade, too?

No, wait, does this mean you don't like us?

*runs off to read the blue*

By: handee

handee — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:56:08 -0800

I have no ponies, but I might be able to borrow a horse. Would that do?

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 03:58:10 -0800

off-handed remark about lack of tub-girl images thus far in thread.

By: blag

blag — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 04:11:02 -0800

Attempt to rectify lack of tub-girl images swiftly removed by administrator.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 04:12:47 -0800

*glares at shmegegge*

handee, horses are grand, I've just never seen a parade without some sort of equestrian animal before moving to SF. Apparently, here, the stilt walkers fill that niche, but it's just not the same without the pooper scooper clowns driving around in their mini mobiles.

On preview: *and blag*

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 04:37:35 -0800

Asides to European members that he loves a parade.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 05:21:24 -0800

*runs outside to grab a ~~pony~~ ~~horse~~ ~~pony~~ whatever those hooved mammals are that run wild 'round these parts. THOSE.*

By: anapestic

anapestic — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:14:01 -0800

Expression of relief about absence of flying cupids.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:18:12 -0800

Quickly fires up photoshop to rehash an amusing image that was destined for another thread that was closed before it could be posted....

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:19:27 -0800

Immediately apologises as only folks from the UK are likely to get it.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:20:09 -0800

Immediately apologises again for patronising non-UK mefiers

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:35:05 -0800

notices jokeefe and raedyn's comments about him, considers getting miffed, then realizes, hey, chicks dig me, whatta ya gonna do.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:38:13 -0800

Pedantically insists that it's "Mefites," not "Mefiers". No mention of any amusement caused by the image. Secretly liking it.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:42:03 -0800

GOOD MORNING!!!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:46:20 -0800

WAKE UP, DAMMIT!!!

By: nobody

nobody — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:46:58 -0800

Mention that I must have fallen asleep at the keyboard.

Inclusion, for amusement's and posterity's sake, what my sleepy dreaming face wrote in my absence (made small because it's ugly):

ifhhidafjufaaaaaaap9fejcnkacsposaccccccccccclnv

By: nobody

nobody — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:48:59 -0800

(And, seriously, I'm late for work. Thanks for the wakeup call, jonmc.)

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:50:38 -0800

AUUUUUGH!! UP AND AT 'EM, LADIES!!!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 06:57:52 -0800

LAST CALL!!!

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:03:10 -0800

NO, THERE'S MORE!

AND MORE!!

this concludes the jonmc morning show. thank you

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:12:58 -0800

*fires up photoshop again. hoping no-one will notice bleeding obvious mistake*

Makes irritable comment about someone being so pedantic whilst secretly glad someone had commented on image even if it is to point out an typo.

By: sciurus

sciurus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:16:44 -0800

for no discernible reason, a virulent out-of-character ad hominem attack on last commenter followed by never commenting in this thread again.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:24:26 -0800

Quickly posts RED LIGHT in an attempt to catch anyone still running.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:33:36 -0800

Rebukes virulent out-of-character ad hominem attack, and requests explaination and apology whilst noting that they are a 14ker and thus my association are beyond reproach by any n00b.

By: handee

handee — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:37:56 -0800

five dollar n00b notes 14ker's referred to himself in the plural, and sniggers behind qwerty155's back

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:44:28 -0800

thought that qwerty155 was simply illustrating our British English name.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 07:55:29 -0800

Spots typo in last post and realises that 'my association' instead of 'by association' gives the impression that they are claiming to be leader of the 14kers.
Fails to apologise and instead request pony from Matt that we should be able to edit our comments after they have been posted.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 08:19:32 -0800

GREEN LIGHT!

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 08:24:14 -0800

Notes that some material here is more appropirately located in one's own personal online journal, followed by pejorative suggesting such people are procreating idiots, not to mention theatrical matriarchs, and by doing so hopefully summons a downpour of Carol Bradys.

By: kenko

kenko — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 08:35:15 -0800

Pedantic observation that loquacious spelled "Einsterzende Neubauten" correctly but forgot the "e" in "Wesly Willis". Ends with an annoying emoticon to piss off Stavros.

Pedantic observation that neither loquacious nor KevinSkomsvold spelled "Einstürzende Neubauten" correctly.

By: dersins

dersins — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 08:42:04 -0800

Unobtrusive and non-controversial comment intended to mark thread for future reference without being quite so obvious as those " . " posts.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:06:55 -0800

We'll never make it to 9622.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:07:59 -0800

Once again, with feeling.

By: deborah

deborah — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:13:54 -0800

Tells loquacious and arse_hat to get a room.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:19:21 -0800

Shoutout to simbi0tic. Say something, bitch.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:20:51 -0800

Notes that John Kerry got 4 D's his freshman year at Yale, whereas George W. Bush only got 1.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:22:08 -0800

Also notes that your grandma is seriously NSFW.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:28:54 -0800

Would you attend a major fishkeeping event?

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:29:11 -0800

Whines quietly about just now seeing this thread.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 09:39:07 -0800

Outdated pop culture comment about how I'm sticking my dick in the mash potatoes because I thought it was that kind of party.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 10:18:51 -0800

History may judge me poorly, but I'm again abandoning the syntactical convention of this thread in an attempt to quickly push it to 500 comments.

The following is a list of my least favorite deities:

1) Djanggawul, the three siblings of Australian Aboriginal mythology who created the landscape of Australia and covered it with flora. Apparently, the two female Djanggawul made the world's sacred talismans by breaking off pieces of their vulvas.

Reason for disdain: Bad posture. All three of them. Posture is of prime import.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 10:26:14 -0800

2) Mama Cocha, of Incan mythology.

Reason for disdain: Her tell-all biography of lake goddess Copacati is sleazy and poorly written. It makes Julia Philips look like Turgenev.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 10:34:16 -0800

Makes comment about waking up in pile of beercans interspersed with popcorn, expresses desire for more...until realizes has $5 N00b sharpied on his forehead. Lashes out randomly, then sulks in corner...

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 10:53:18 -0800

Uh, schyler, that's not sharpie ink.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:04:28 -0800

Flips out, knocks over drinks, flings poo that as yet hadn't been flung, pees in everyone elses popcorn, sodomizes a mule, and then glares at everybody...

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:07:00 -0800

Posts apology for outrageous actions, offers pancakes as peace offering...vows to never emulate bukowski in-thread again...

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:10:40 -0800

*stares in horror at poor sodomized mule*

But...but...but, I thought we were going to use him in the parade!!

*weeps*

By: kenko

kenko — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:19:30 -0800

Explains that we were going to misuse him before the parade.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:20:54 -0800

3) Yahweh

Reason for disdain: This guy is responsible for Pat Robertson and Rick "Santorum" Santorum? What a maroon.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:35:20 -0800

Well as long as someone's got the mule, that's fine by me. I just spent the good part of an hour getting this piano up the stairs, and you don't want to know where I got the razor blade....

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:45:26 -0800

yells at gramschmidt for getting santorum on the thread...then sheepishly admits that sodomizing the mule isn't much better...tells gramschmidt to carry on...

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:06:34 -0800

4) Smart Dalek

Reason for disdain: Wasting Bunuel jokes on this crowd. I may cut down on my formal worship of Smart Dalek, and I may start exposing my film snobbishness more and more, contrary to the tenets of his epistemology. This is the last time I spend my lunchtime yelling "EXTERMINATE" at passersby, man.

By: tj

tj — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:12:00 -0800

post noting in fear that the last time we did this, I was fired from my job shortly thereafter

By: tj

tj — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:12:37 -0800

and that I still miss that hamper

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:17:03 -0800

5) Turan, Etruscan goddess of love and vitality

Reason for disdain: Way to let your former subjects become the Romans, my dear. Where were you when Velzna and Curtun capitulated, man? Was it 4:20? Jesus H. God.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:17:23 -0800

Observes that gramschmidt gets testy after he stays up into the wee hours of the morning on MeFi.

*ducks and runs*

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:18:48 -0800

Won't someone think of the ~~children~~ mules?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:21:52 -0800

6) Jesus H. God

Reason for disdain: This purely exclamatory deity has been the source of much consternation amongst groups of college students of a discursive or philosophical nature, due in no small part to the following question: What does the "H" stand for?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:24:00 -0800

thinks of the mules. gets bored with thinking of the mules and thinks of the porcupines instead.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:25:46 -0800

Wonders why tj was working in a hamper, agrees with grapefruitmoon and tries to remember what we were so indignant about earlier.

Offers to make everyone cookies, no, donuts, er, uh, mixed pastries anyone?

gramschmidt: Everyone knows that "H" stands for Haysoos.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:28:38 -0800

I wouldn't say no to cheese danish or a cannoli.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:35:38 -0800

remembers last time he sodomized a porcupine, notes that it coincides with Prince Albert...shudders...repeats vow of NEVER AGAIN!

By: tj

tj — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:37:07 -0800

Link to try to explain the hamper bit

By: mrmorgan

mrmorgan — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 12:47:25 -0800

Grumpily states that this is why he stopped participating.
Dares poster to not post below this line:

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:05:44 -0800

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:06:43 -0800

Wait, is Jesus H. God different than Jesus H. Christ? And is Yahweh the funny uncle or the dirty one?

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:18:54 -0800

birdsquared — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:44:56 -0800

jonmc, I would think a Brio Chinotto would be a much better drink accompaniment for a canoli, but that's probably 'cause I don't drink coffee...

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:47:04 -0800

Notes jonmc's comment that chicks dig him. Makes sarcastic reference to jonmc's recent declaration of extreme level of personal slobbishness in different thread. Tries to lighten comment by making tossed off reference to unwashed self sitting in pajamas and posting on Mefi at 1:46 p.m. Become unaccountably depressed about life.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:48:29 -0800

actually just pour a shot of grappa into a cappucino and I'll be fine.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:52:52 -0800

jokeefe writes "Tries to lighten comment by making tossed off reference to unwashed self sitting in pajamas and posting on Mefi at 1:46 p.m. Become unaccountably depressed about life."

makes soothing comment about positive aspects of jokeefe's situation, primarily to make own self feel better. makes side comment even more depressing than jokeefes original comment. Expresses resignation to fate described in melodramatic manner.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 13:52:57 -0800

Finds way to work excessively literary quote into post. Have mud wrestling session over AS Byatt with andrew cooke. Adds a <_< to previous remark, thus demonstrating vocabulary is not as extensive, or as well used, as hoped.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 14:05:52 -0800

Ill-advised celebration of the 500th comment using the <big> and <blink> tags.

500th comment!!

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 14:08:58 -0800

Raises cup of tea to jokeefe: I'm still in pj's with a baseball cap that hides gravity defying bed head and just got done with a telephone job interview. However, I'm feeling rather smug about it, especially as the days of doing this on weekdays are nearing an end. *sigh* Pretty soon, I'll have to dress like a grown up again.

jonmc: as soon as you figure out I'm a bartender, you just start asking for the special treatment, don't you? Espresso. Grappa and cappucino. Here we go....

And for the love of some deity that gramschmidt is not on the outs with, could someone please help him with his puppet?

Thanks.

By: grouse

grouse — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 15:05:57 -0800

Link pointing out that kuro5hin has already done this.

Gratuitous large text

By: raedyn

raedyn — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 15:07:08 -0800

Snide remark noting that goodnewsfortheinsane obviously can't count.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 15:07:40 -0800

Abstract: We present a new method for MetaTalk comment generation. The new method combines two previously known techniques, known as 9622, and MetaTalk clusterfuck. We investigate the combination of these methods, report the preliminary results of our method, and analyze the outcome.

We present the two component methods here with the relevant data:

MeFi 9622 (Metafilter parody; control variable: 9622)

1:32 PM EST, Day 0: thread inception.
4:36 PM EST, Day 0: first 100 post notification. Elapsed time: 3h,4m.
8:02 PM EST, Day 0: first 200 post notification. Elapsed time: 6h,30m.
12:02 PM EST, Day 2: first 250 post notification. Elapsed time: 1d,22h,30m.
11:05 PM EST, Day 62: first 500 post notification. Elapsed time: 62d,9h,32m.
Comment 1729.

MeTa 8762 (The Drama Queen thread; control variable: MetaTalk clusterfuck)

9:26 PM PST, Day 0: thread inception.
7:34 AM PST, Day 1: First 100 comment notification. Elapsed time: 10h,8m.
10:26 AM PST, Day 1: First 200 comment notification. Elapsed time: 13h,0m.
1:25 PM PST, Day 1: First 300 comment notification. Elapsed time: 15h,59m.
3:49 PM PST, Day 1: First 400 comment notification. Elapsed time: 18h,23m.
4:49 PM PST, Day 1: First 500 comment notification. Elapsed time: 19h,23m.
7:13 PM PST, Day 1: First 600 comment notification. Elapsed time: 22h,47m.
1:47 AM PST, Day 1: First 800 comment notification. Elapsed time: 1d,4h,21m.
12:41 PM PST, Day 2: Final observable comment (of approximately 900) prior to thread deletion. Elapsed time: 1d,15h,15m.

Our new method combines these two methods using a mixture model. We report the results below.

MeTa 9622 (new method).

5:21 PM PST, Day 0: thread inception.
1:25 PM PST, Day 1: first 200 comment notification. Elapsed time: 20h,4m.
4:41 PM PST, Day 1: first 300 comment notification. Elapsed time: 23h,20m.
11:39 PM PST, Day 1: first 400 comment notification. Elapsed time: 1d,6h,18m.
2:05 PM PST, Day 2: first 500 comment notification. Elapsed time: 1d,21h,44m.

Mitigating factors:

At the time of MeFi 9266, threads were not closed after 30 days.
Metatalk threads scroll off of MeTa after approximately two days, thus slowing the generation of additional comments.
Significant outages during the reporting period have hampered the effectiveness of the new method.

Comment directed at casu marzu that you can't have Statistical Analysis without "Anal", and wondering how many individual comments casu could have posted in the time it took to analyze the speed in posting comments in this thread.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:17:16 -0800

Sits at desk in windowless office looking at desk strewn with scientific papers, graphs, crumpled scraps of paper full numbers and scrawled notes, and other research ephemera.

Wishes he paid more attention in art school.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:18:47 -0800

By: melissa may

melissa may — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:24:26 -0800

Comment advising all of you to go outside. Irony that this advice points to poster's own failure to go outside is something future posters are encouraged not to note.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:26:20 -0800

Notes jonmc's comment that chicks dig him. Makes sarcastic reference to jonmc's recent declaration of extreme level of personal slobbishness in different thread.

That sentence was cut short, jokeefe. I meant to type that chicks dig me like PETA digs Ted Nugent.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:30:56 -0800

Jon: Is that PETA as in People for the Extreme Treatment of Animals, if yes, get you some!

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:37:11 -0800

*notes that thread is about to fall off main page.*

*panics*

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:38:34 -0800

Wonders what the official PETA position is about "Cat Scratch Fever".

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:39:53 -0800

*falls off main page*

*screams and waves arms*

*lands on pile of dead threads*

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:41:58 -0800

Generic, blanket refuting of criticism by pointing out that I did say hello and thanks, politely, about a thousand threads ago.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:42:33 -0800

Sadness upon re-reading that thread and realising how pathetic it was.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:43:29 -0800

UNLISTED INTERNET VIOP TELEPHONE DIRECTORY - LAST UPDATED 06/03/05 Listing Voiceover Internet Protocol registries, re: H.323 Suite compliance. All numbers indicated herin are confirmed as UNLISTED. Aardvark,CJ..............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Aaron,Stanley............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Aaron,Vera...............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Aaron,William............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Abram,Abe................................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Abram,Abraham............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Abram,Alex...............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Abram,Anthony............................................................[HTTP/1.1(404)] Continued

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:43:51 -0800

Half-assed attempt at covering up Noob Guilt © by invoking a thread of yestermonth.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:44:04 -0800

Disappointed admission of just having thought of the game.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:53:47 -0800

Goddamnit, I just lost. Again.

You can't get to Mornington Crescent from there. Rats on the rails.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:54:46 -0800

Whaddya mean, "fired"?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:58:43 -0800

notation that it's hotter'n balls here in NYC tonite. I've sweated clean through my Super Duper Weenie t-shirt.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 16:58:58 -0800

Do you mean the term "wh*te trash"? Because I don't use that term, and I'm not getting sucked into another discussion on this because you think you're being funny. Sorry, "asshole".

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:10:52 -0800

Expression of resentment that tj explained the remark about "missing that hamper," thus destroying commenter's satisfaction at being the only one in the thread who Got It.

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:18:04 -0800

Remark that previous poster doesn't know hotter'n'balls from smellier'n'ballz coz poster is a damn yankee. Added invitation to come down to Tejas to see what hot balls are really like. With no air conditioning.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:18:44 -0800

(Secretly got the hamper joke as she read most of the previous 9622 yesterday, but didn't want to admit to complete nerd-hood. Has too much free time.)

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:19:57 -0800

9) Yngwie Malmsteen

Reason for disdain: It appears as though he can do anything he wants with a guitar but he chooses to do the worst crap imaginable. The Mariah Carey of guitar?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:23:50 -0800

Remark that previous poster doesn't know hotter'n'balls from smellier'n'ballz coz poster is a damn yankee.

Retort to texan that original poster spent 2 years of his life in the smegma-encrusted foreskin of America known as Dade County, Florida, so he does indeed know from hotter'n balls. And it's like Miami-hot in the Apple today. But the beer helps.

and disdaining Yngwie? Now you've unleashed the fucking fury...;)

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 17:48:30 -0800

Expression of resentment that tj explained the remark about "missing that hamper," thus destroying commenter's satisfaction at being the only one in the thread who Got It.
posted by languagehat at 5:10 PM PST on June 8 [!]

*tiptoes quietly out of thread*

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:06:58 -0800

Silently smirks about hamper joke but realizes that it's too late to claim to have gotten it. Feels anger at self for only having spent three hours of precious irreplaceable life on Metafilter yesterday, thus preventing self from posting witty riposte to hamper comment.

Makes back-handed meta-ironic reference to Best. Something. Ever. in such a way as to both use the meme in its original form while simultaneously disavowing it.

By: john

john — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:12:33 -0800

By: nobody

nobody — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:37:41 -0800

I'll note that this thread has kept me from reading or participating in much of anything else on Metafilter for the past couple of days.

Request for someone to fill us in on what we've been missing out there in the green and blue.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:44:50 -0800

not a whole lot, Jesus Damon. now, back to the laff-laff.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:48:13 -0800

It does look like someone is trying to argue corporate culpability in the online gaming related death of a player in varied forms of metered and free verse (along with the occasional nod to Shatner) while referencing trolls, elves and vampires.

Good stuff.

By: kenko

kenko — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:01:15 -0800

Notes that the thread has fallen off the MeTa front page, and expresses hope that said falling off will not damper continued commenting.

By: deborah

deborah — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:15:24 -0800

Wonders why jonmc wants to pork a pine.
Notes she's sulking because casu has yet to apologize for stealing bandwidth.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:25:09 -0800

Wonders out loud if it's too soon to mention how funny monkeys are.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:30:23 -0800

Searches page for 'teh'...is flabbergasted at only finding the one.

(Secretly fills with the glee at having ruined the ability of all other MeFites to find Teh One Teh for now there are the three tehs.)

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:32:07 -0800

Wonders why deborah wants to butter a fly.

Of all the things I've seen in my life, I've never seen deborah butter a fly...

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:33:54 -0800

...On second thought I have. It was that Rolling Stones album...

By: yhbc

yhbc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:35:01 -0800

Gently points out that following IIHAA's comment there are now four tehs, and three tehs. Including that last one.

By: graventy

graventy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:35:38 -0800

Wonders into party 2 days late, but drunk, if that counts.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:39:50 -0800

/tao
I told you I was hardcore.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:40:08 -0800

mentions my tangential relation with moby. Long story. A girl I boned boned a girl who boned moby. we're practically related.

links to his favorite meetup pic. witchstone's posture says "impress me, asshole," pips (aka mrs. jonmc)'s expression says "please don't embarrass me, you sot," jpoulos seems to be contemplating the humanity of it all. rifolla seems to be searching for his wallet or something. And, no, I don't remember what the hell I was talking about.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 19:44:25 -0800

Makes post inviting both WolfDaddy and jonmc to strongly consider that they both don't know hotter'n'balls from Sweet Merciful Christ God Help Me I Just Stepped Outside At Eight In The Fucking Morning And Every Hair On My Body Burst Into Flames And Oh Holy Fuck It's Been Over A Hundred Every Day For A Month And A Half Already And It's Not Going To Cool Down Until Fucking Christmas And So Help Me God If You Even Think Of Saying 'It's Ok, It's Dry Heat' Not Only Is It Obvious You Don't Know What A Monsoon Is, I'm Going To BBQ You Right On My Goddamn Three Hundred And Fifty Degree Asphalt Driveway.

Poster also wonders why WolfDaddy is no longer residing in the uncomparable paradise known as the Central California Coast, and further points out that Yngwie Malmsteen is about as useful, artistic and tasteful as a three year old stale fruit cake. Correction made: Yngwie Malmsteen is a three year old stale fruit cake.

On Preview: Poster points out that poster has seen Moby's wang, has pictures of it, that it isn't anything special, considering he has a known habit of performing naked and standing on his keyboard stand, posing like a crucified Jesus.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:01:30 -0800

Is this really the thread's first Turgenev photo?

By: WolfDaddy

WolfDaddy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:10:30 -0800

BECAUSE I GOT SENT TO HELL LOQUACIOUS ALL RIGHT?

Looks shiftily at other posters, grabs a blunt object, prepares for battle, decides "fuck it, I'm going back to California RIGHT NOW for three weeks," and leaves.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:14:00 -0800

Soooo....it's not a dry heat then?

My, my, you boys DO get snippy when you're tired and hot, don't you?

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:33:59 -0800

Poster - who has been to Tejas in the summer - offers his condolences to WolfDaddy.

Poster also wonders what pie-platter poster means by "snippy'? Snotty? Snooty? Abe Froman, Sausage King of Chicago?

Informs flying pie-platter poster that this isn't snippy, it's just general assgrabbery and professionally competitive wang measurement. No actual interweenies were harmed in the production of these posts.

Poster also notes that one could indeed BBQ on the asphalt out here. Fried eggs would be too easy - try bacon. One could bake a cake in a cardboard box lined with foil. Poster recently had one of those little zipper-pull sized thermometers explode when he left it in a car. The indicator on it maxed out at 120 - cars have been known to reach temps of over 200.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:35:41 -0800

mentions my tangential relation with moby. Long story. A girl I boned boned a girl who boned moby. we're practically related.

Based on that criteria, my early-80s association with KROQ radio means I have a tangental relation with...
OH.
MY.
GOD.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:41:42 -0800

Poster is reluctant to declare that the weather in Southern California is currently abnormally perfect - not too hot, not too cool - and after getting dangerously close to breaking the record for the all-time rainiest year in history, has been totally rain-free since that Villaraigoosy guy won the election, but is willing to bring up almost any topic to avoid thinking about who else the girl from KROQ in '83 had done...

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 20:48:23 -0800

Rodney Bingenheimer?

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:40:23 -0800

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:40:27 -0800

PANTS!?

By: jenovus

jenovus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:45:57 -0800

shoa
i'm fukcin

By: jenovus

jenovus — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:47:35 -0800

POST INDICATING THAT I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW (even though I am really not and just want some attention)

SO HIGH

By: birdsquared

birdsquared — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:52:46 -0800

dg: just bots now - no humans involved at this stage

By: dg

dg — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 21:57:43 -0800

Wait - there were humans involved at some stage? That's news to me and the guy who built me in his garage using nothing but left-over bicycle parts.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:13:52 -0800

No humans, but a helluva lot of monkeys at typewriters.

oo oo...

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:14:44 -0800

Is this really the thread's first Tati photo?

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:15:00 -0800

*points and laughs at dg's bicycle parts*

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:15:58 -0800

At this hour, gramschy, we're all looking a little Tati.

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:17:34 -0800

this hamper . . . it vibrates?

By: birdsquared

birdsquared — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:23:18 -0800

I'm still waiting for Heywood Mogroot's heuristic neuro-linguistic meta-retro statistical algorithm analysis of the posts in the original MeFi 9622 thread and this one to determine which of the former's contributors are now sock puppet accounts deluging this thread.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:25:36 -0800

Is this really the thread's first hamper gif?

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:27:46 -0800

Sorry, this is the thread's first hamper...

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:50:54 -0800

Is this really the thread's first Alcott?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:53:31 -0800

Is this really the thread's first bizarro gif from a misspelled Google Image search of the word "wendell"?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 22:55:27 -0800

Is this really the thread's first hot, throbbing porno cock?

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:04:17 -0800

weather in SF is a comfortable misty sixty while wondering where jokeefe and grapefruitmoon wandered off to.

Tries not to betray smugness at being noticed, nay, summoned, by other member.

Toys with idea of mapping out the not very many degrees of separation required to connect me sexually with Kurt Cobain. Leaves that remark twisting gently in the wind, secretly hoping to impress somebody.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:13:55 -0800

I have not, however, nor do I know anyone who has bonked Moby.

Wonders why loquacious keeps pictures of Moby's wang around. Ponders the wangness of Moby, and of the insufferable lead singer of Men Without Hats, who once fancied themselves stars. Further ponders time, entropy, and the ultimate fade to black. Pours stiff drink. Cranks up music on headphones.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:15:33 -0800

Not to let the wind out of jokeefe's sails, but the populations of Ventura, Orange, and Los Angeles counties have slept with Courtney Love. And most of the state of Washington.

By: scody

scody — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:28:28 -0800

Casual remark about having kissed Bono in high school, Billy Bragg in college, and Mick Jones in grad school (the latter in a photo booth) at various points in time. Affirmation that yes, in two of the three instances, there was tongue.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:28:45 -0800

MEN. WITHOUT. PANTS.

Well, there's nothing to really see in the pictures. So it's not like I'm keeping them around for their wangitude. I just figure I could sell them eventually. Like when Moby actually becomes a celebrity or something.

I've never slept with Courtn...
OH.
MY.
GOD.

*Poster cowers under desk in a shuddering bout of PTSD, whacking at invisible bats with the butt of a loaded .357*

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:54:35 -0800

*waves at jokeefe, suppresses HST-like flashback and slips a Xanax under the desk to loquacious*

Begins to recall 10 year span in Seattle beginning in her late teens. And numerous rather PG incidents with numerous people. Suddenly realizes that she has made out with the better part of the PNW. Abruptly ends thought. Smiles blankly. Nods. Exits room quickly.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 23:59:48 -0800

*returns momentarily to peek back in at scody*

Mick Jones? Wow.

*runs off to bathe in Listerine*

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:05:08 -0800

*whispers*

600?

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:05:45 -0800

Hooray for 600!

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:06:24 -0800

Poster writes 500-paragraph screed about how Xanax will make you totally crazy. Miguel and Ethereal Bligh openly weep in appreciation at the deep obfuscation. Poster bows to applause and a shower of roses and underpants.

Poster then wakes up, grumbles noisily, goes back to sleep.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:09:15 -0800

Woah. Boobies.

Now I know I'm dreaming.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:11:27 -0800

No, this is 600. Hah.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:14:10 -0800

Or not. I'm confused, and I think the counter is too. Ooo, Mythbuster's is building a jetpack. Fanman! *poingpoing*

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:16:32 -0800

Pie-platter poster points out, without reading screed, of course, that poster was under the table fighting bats well before Xanax came into picture.

Applauds geekguy even if the slightest bit unnerved by celebratory gif and issues ad nauseum plea for children, kittens, bandwidth and mules.

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:20:56 -0800

Reloads to see if thread is still going after being rolled off the front page, is not surprised to see that it of course is.

Then vaguely remembers that the point of the original 9622 was self-referential statements by the posts themselves, not the posters, and hangs head in shame.

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:22:43 -0800

Realizes that self-referential statements about the poster are the point of this 9622 and decides to reiterate appreciation for bunnies and pancakes.

And requests a new pony.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 00:50:46 -0800

Hisses at gramschmidt not to mess up her story. Searches frantically for other anecdotes, comes up with only one sad incident involving member of Black Flag in 1984 and his rather astonishing air of entitlement to blow job which poster declined to perform.

Sadly admits coming to end of stories of wild youth, groupie subsection. Wonder if scody got Bono tongue. Joins loquacious under desk.

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:15:17 -0800

No new comments for 20 minutes. Peeks through blinds. Sees Mefites sleeping all over lawn. Turns on sprinklers.

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:26:32 -0800

WTF! Raining?

Gets up, staggers, climbs into backseat of car.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:26:52 -0800

*hears sprinklers and peers down from roof where awake Mefites are looking at Venus...waits for hilarity to ensue*

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 01:39:59 -0800

*Briefly mistakes jokeefe for an enormous bat.*

*Sleepwalks to water main and welds it shut. Curls up under hedges near the porch.*

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 02:51:26 -0800

Totally betrays smugness at having been mentioned by another poster. Points out that she ran off to sleep and has now come back to the thread first thing in the morning like a good addict.

Further points out that while she has no knowledge of Moby's wang or Bono's tongue, she has seen Björk naked in person.

(Mutters something under breath about heat envy. It's fricking freezing over here. Stupid ICE-land. Wishes she lived in "warm-land" instead.)

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 05:15:35 -0800

Reveals self accidentally to be a S@L sock puppet account thus proving theory that only 5 actual MeFites exist and that we are all figments of those with an actual imagination.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 05:50:08 -0800

Mick Jones? Nice. Adds scody as crush contact.

Wonders if once having sausage and pancakes with Rob Halford's houseboy counts for anything.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:20:16 -0800

Refutes Steve_at_Longbaugh's crackpot Meftrix theory by... okay, poster's got nothing. Poster admits to just wanting to use the word "Meftrix".

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:22:48 -0800

Blanket complaint about people in this thread continually referring to themselves in the third person.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:24:19 -0800

Is this really the thread's third person?

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:27:00 -0800

I'm thinking about posting this to the front page. Discuss.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:35:38 -0800

has seen Björk naked in person

Yeah, but you're in Iceland, right grapefruitmoon? Björk and Matthew Barney nude is a governmentally mandated, twice daily ritual, if I recall correctly.

Doesn't mean I'm not jealous.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:37:35 -0800

MetaFilter: Steve_at_Longbaugh's crackpot Meftrix theory

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:39:45 -0800

Those are totally sweet. Go for it. It would nicely complement that old post about those guys who installed Super Mario stuff in the windows of their university's CS building, or something. Remember that? I do. I provide no link, though. Strange, that.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:46:47 -0800

Affirmation that yes, in two of the three instances, there was tongue.

Of course there was, darling. But in Mick Jones' case, the big question is, were there teeth?

I've never actually boned, or even kissed a celebrity, but one of the contestants on that Richard Branson reality show had a major league flirtation thing going on with me in college, but we never managed to actually hit it.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:53:37 -0800

Futile attempt at providing last comment in thread.....

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 06:55:49 -0800

Umm, someone switched loquacious' sleep image!? Help.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 07:10:09 -0800

The question is, is it an improvement?

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 07:17:18 -0800

This thread, it just wants to belong.

john — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:21:41 -0800

Posts classic Meftrix apology to prove old-timer status. Follows with gratuitous Kitten link

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:23:54 -0800

The cleansing power of the puppy:

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:24:31 -0800

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:28:30 -0800

By: drezdn

drezdn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:31:37 -0800

post pointing out that while people from the south may know the difference between sweety as balls, and something else, they've yet to live through the fickle finger of fate that Wisconsin weather is. After all in the last month it has been both 96 degrees and 38. In fact, in a few hours recently it went from 85ish down to 38. Our weather is specifically designed to punish humanity for its sins.

By: kenko

kenko — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:43:30 -0800

Hooray!

By: drezdn

drezdn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:45:34 -0800

Elitist comment about how this thread was better on usenet.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 09:56:22 -0800

My pet died:

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:12:18 -0800

My primate scowled:

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:14:48 -0800

.......

By: deborah

deborah — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:22:59 -0800

Post exhibiting dismay that no one has yet mentioned Oolong.
Weeps for humanity.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:27:22 -0800

Feels that Icelandic weather was governmentally mandated to punish her for sins. Not sure which sins or why, but seeing Björk naked that once hardly makes up for freezing in June.

Other things mandated by Icelandic government :
- Vague appreciation for Halldór Laxness.
- Eating reindeer.

By: kenko

kenko — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:27:22 -0800

Why does it take Oolong two jumps to go to the left, but only one to go to the right? Does he really like going to the right?

OH BOY! I'm going to the RIGHT!

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:37:32 -0800

makes slightly funny coment on drezdn's mispelling of "sweaty" as "sweety".

Makes note that he soon will have sweaty balls when back in MO, that will NOT be sweet. Sighs.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:52:58 -0800

Remebers Zippity Pong. Laments that Matt has deleted this thread. Tries to bring it into this thread. Notices that the effect is broken. Fails in his attempt to resurect it. Cries into his breakfast.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 11:07:26 -0800

Rumination over the signifigance of Matt being online since the gross NSFW image was noted and flagged, while the image continues to be hotlinked. Submission of evidence to support this claim.

Attempt to start controversy about if Matt should care and/or react or not.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 11:34:27 -0800

Poster notes that five posts from here would put the thread count at 666 and opines the thread should be closed at that point.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 11:55:47 -0800

Poster awakens at noon on lawn, slightly moist, and wonders when they renamed MetaTalk "MetalTalk". Blames jonmc.

Grabs pen to write down dream he just had. Stops after the words "Zippity Pong".

By: PhatLobley

PhatLobley — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 12:01:25 -0800

Post deriding anyone with a sense of duty to the grey.

Dutifully makes another post, stands up straighter.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 12:08:36 -0800

Poster awakens at noon on lawn, slightly moist, and wonders when they renamed MetaTalk "MetalTalk". Blames jonmc.

accuses wendell of being one of them new waver wusses. puches palm.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 12:11:11 -0800

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 12:50:39 -0800

I'm keeping an eye on this thread.

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 13:28:26 -0800

A suggestion that perhaps mathowie has not taken down the offending (goatse) img link because to do so would be to show tacit approval of everything else in this thread, and, indeed, to openly condone the very existence of this thread to begin with.

A prediction that if mathowie plays any active role in this thread, it will only be to close it.

A suggestion that rather than flagging the img, someone should get in touch with those blogdar slags. Can I say 'slags'?

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 13:31:01 -0800

Makes post about noticing that creepy eyeball picture is post 666, explains that even though poster is not superstitious, poster feels nervous...ends post by apologizig for ruining Fezboy!'s idea...

makes a side comment after previewing thread to explain that for the love of Bob he finally saw the goatse medley.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 13:49:43 -0800

Hello MetaFilter/MetaTalk/AskMetaFilter fans, and thank you for signing up for Google's Beta Threadjack Tracking!

My name is Matt Haughey Jr., and here at MeFi/MeTa/AskMe we are working with Google which has just compiled a great new pony that tracks everyone to whom this message is forwarded to and responded from! It does this through an unique JRun (Java Servlet) log book database. We are experimenting with this and need your help. Forward this thread to everyone you know and if it reaches 700 posts, the first 20 people who've posted the most will receive a pancake breakfast, and the rest will receive an autographed photo of me swinging the Banhammer on some random sock puppet.

Enjoy!

Note: Duplicate entries will not be counted. You will be notified by Gmail with further instructions once this thread has reached 700 posts.

Your friends,
Matt Haughey Jr., Macromedia Software, Sun Microsystems & The Google Labs Development Team.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:04:47 -0800

That was a good party, but my dad is totally going to kill me. There is Nyquil and throwup and Schlitz Malt Liquor all over the carpet in his all white ego room. Somebody wake up Jonmc and take that pizza off the turntable. Unless I miss my guess there should be several nerds sleeping under that glass table that is covered with pretzels and we are all going to meet the loves of our lives outside of our sisters weddings.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:07:47 -0800

"Hey, gramschmidt, it appears as though MeTa9622 has lost steam. What in the world are you going to do about it?"

Oh, what am I not going to do about it?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:08:29 -0800

I'm certainly not going to post a photo of a great modem.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:20:55 -0800

Divine_Wino writes "we are all going to meet the loves of our lives outside of our sisters weddings."

You bastard! It isn't true! I met her at my sister's wedding and by my reckoning was TEH OEN. She however had other plans...

Only time will tell...only time will tell...

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:21:03 -0800

Terse query as to where love of scody's life was hiding at said wedding.

Notification how for years we assumed that when you didn't come looking for us you simply weren't interested. We were behind the bushes. Right next to the cake. (I promise we didn't touch it).

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:22:53 -0800

Similar gratuitous acknowledgement of personal failure to appropriately couch first two posts to this thread. Commitment to:
1. do better for the duration.
2. do my part to make sure the thread progresses to 1700+.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:25:34 -0800

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:32:42 -0800

Damn that's a sexy modem. Look at those blinkenlights and exposed frontside DIP switches.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:35:33 -0800

Challenge to nobody. Certainly we both can't be the love of scody's life. A duel is the only reasonable solution.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:38:32 -0800

Scody:

Did you check all the, like, really freakin cool sports cars parked in the lot? 'Cause there was true love love going on in a bunch of them.

loquacious:
Dipswitch is my best word. Forever. Did you, uh, did you just kinda, jiggle the dipswitch?

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:48:29 -0800

Attempted diffusion of raedyn's challenge: You can be scody's secret Canadian love...and I could be scody's cuckolded domestic love.

Witty rephrasing of raedyn's last sentence, in lieu of riposte: A dual solution is the only resonable one.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:49:10 -0800

You bastard! It isn't true! I met her at my sister's wedding and by my reckoning was TEH OEN. She however had other plans...

Only time will tell...only time will tell...

Is there more to this story, schyler523? Perhaps enough to fill up several comments? Spill it, man.

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 14:51:29 -0800

Should have written: "A dual solution is only reasonable."

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:00:31 -0800

*jiggles the dipswitch again*NO CARRIER *!Y#EH#^%#^#**(1

ATDT 15038675309

BUSY

+++ATH0

NO CARRIER

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:04:52 -0800

Notes that surely she will never find this "love of her life" as she has no sisters.

Debates whether or not to notify her husband.

Decides against it.

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:59:33 -0800

By: ubersturm

ubersturm — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:00:44 -0800

Hands schyler523 a beer, tells him to drink up.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:01:54 -0800

Post that completely ignores revelations just made. Poster doesn't know how to handle the gravity of that in light of the levity of the rest of the thread.

Admission that nobody's wit really did win me over. Expression of excitement at all the potentials of the dual solution.

Small aside, wondering if scody knows of the plans that are being hatched for her.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:07:33 -0800

orders some food for the thread, we've got a long way to go till 1700, we'll need some energy (and something to soak up all these beers, i don't want to wake up with "$5 Noob" tattooed on my forehead again.)

~Let me start of with a basket of chips
Then move on to the pollo asado taco
I would like two pollo asado tacos with one beef chimichanga
On the chimichanga, I would like a side of sour cream
I would like tomatoes and onions on my quesodilla
For dessert I would like the flares -- I would like extra cinnamon
Do you make guacamole?
Yes, I do make guacamole.
Uh, I would like a side of guacamole on my tostitos
I like to dip the tostitos in the guacamole
Can I get a basket, I told you about a basket of chips
I would like a large iced-tea, 2, uh, 2 large iced-teas

Ok, that’ll be $16.07
Out of $20? ok, $16.07’s your change.

Hi, can I help you?
I would like a basket of chips,
A beef chimichanga with a side of sour cream
I would like some guacamole on my chimichanga
With a quesodilla of tomato, onion, and vegetables
I should like a burrito with beans, beef, and
I would like a carne asado taco
Could you put some hot sauce on that for me?
No, inside the taco, not on the side
Yes, can I have a carne asado taco?
Not a pollo asado, we don’t have chicken
Do you have guacamole?
Can you make me some guacamole?
I have guacamole
Ok, on my burrito I would like the muchaco beef and the shredded pork
And some more cheese, please

Ok, that’ll be $22...
Uh, oh yes, I would like two lemonades and one medium iced-tea
Ok, that’ll be $20.07
Out of $22? ok, $1.52’s your change
Thanks a lot -- your food will be up -- here, let me get your drinks

Hi, can I help you? yes, I would like a basket of chips
I would like a beef chimi...
Umm, what is, what is the, what is the, what is the pollo asado?
That’s the chicken
Ok, what is the carne asado?
That’s the beef
Ok, let me get two carne asado tacos...~

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:15:27 -0800

Pointless remark, solely due to sheeplike nature.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:20:17 -0800

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -- Gandhi

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:21:06 -0800

"Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act of depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest." -- Gandhi

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:21:17 -0800

*snags a burrito and an iced tea and if that post was a reference to something, completely misses it.*

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:22:52 -0800

"There is a limit to the application of democratic methods. You can inquire of all the passengers as to what type of car they like to ride in, but it is impossible to question them as to whether to apply the brakes when the train is at full speed and accident threatens." -- Trotsky

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:24:34 -0800

"The author who speaks about his own books is almost as bad as a mother who talks about her own children." -- Benjamin Disraeli

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:27:43 -0800

"All X-Network Interface modules work with the Omni Switch/Router. Each chassis is equipped with a single power supply; with optional redundant supplies being sold separately." -- OmniSwitch Tech Specs

By: scody

scody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:27:58 -0800

giddy acknowledgment of raedyn and nobody's "big plans," followed by mildly self-deprecating remark of some sort, possibly involving current haircut.

completely sincere declaration of sympathy to schyler regarding pain of broken heart. (Brief parenthetical aside alluding to own heartbreak endured during personal "lost year" of 2003-04.) Apology for having not contributed to schyler's AskMe thread regarding heartbreak music; now offers exquisite melancholy of Grant Lee Buffalo's "Mockingbirds" as suitable tune:

Devastation -- at last, finally we meet
After all of these years, out here on the street
I had a feeling you would make yourself known
You came along just to claim your place on the throne
And I have been overthrown
Overthrown...

By: scody

scody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:34:00 -0800

small-typed warning that song is so powerful that scody recently found herself crying messily in rush hour traffic on way to gym when said song came on iPod, even two years after breakup; wry suggestion that song (like some medications) is perhaps best appreciated when not operating moving vehicle.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:34:12 -0800

"Fuck you goddamn punk. Bring it on is exactly what I am gojng to do. You go fishing for trouble you no good son of a whore and that is exactly what you will get. When I say that I have had it with bastards like you that is exactly what I mean, and you are going to find out what that means too." -- cyclotouriste

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:37:19 -0800

While thanking scody for the beautiful sad song [and disclaimer](and obviously accepting apology), firmly repeats call to return to jovial parody (it helps to distract.)

Also congratulates raedyn and nobody on possibly snagging scody, mentions that haircuts are temporary.

accidentally mentions lack of incredibly long horizontal sentence that to read requires continual scrolling to side.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:38:02 -0800

*sings medley of "Eye Of The Tiger" and Kiss's "Burn Bitch Burn"*

makes observation that his parents met at my Dad's brother's wedding to my Mom's college roomate. Whether they found true love or whether they simply realized no-one else would have them is open to question, but they've been married 36 years come September. The brother who was married at said wedding drowned in a lake after having a few too many, and the roomate remarried, to a compulsive gambler.

concludes nonsensical yet oddly moving, vaguely on-topic family reminiscence and starts singing "The Wanderer" to cheer up schuyler.

I'm the type of guy that like to roam around....

notes that divine wino has woken up. dame ain't mad that I posted that picture of her in the 80's is she?

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:38:14 -0800

immediately regrets mentioning lack of incredibly long horizontal sentence that to read requires continual scrolling to side.

By: thomcatspike

thomcatspike — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:39:23 -0800

accuses wendell of being one of them new waver wusses. puches palm
Actually iihmfc, he was part of the famous LA radio station known for playing new wave. Though his tenure was “prior” to it leading the new wave radio stations with it playing your rock n roll. Not the Southern Cali "kmet", but on par a "rok" station during the disco days.

Why I post all this - I’m in Texas and feel like a Can fluff, tin star.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:40:31 -0800

See, schyler523. There are worse things than your current heartbreak. You could have heartbreak and have to worry about cyclotouriste tracking you down and sodomizing your mule.

*raises scotch to schyler*

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:42:10 -0800

Pays no heed whatsoever to content of comments,

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:43:02 -0800

but berates schyler523 for posting long-winded stories.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:43:28 -0800

Suggests chopping them up,

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:43:47 -0800

preferably line-by-line,

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:44:07 -0800

in order to up the comment count,

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:44:24 -0800

in the interest of 9622++.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:46:08 -0800

Heartbreaking story schyler, I raise my glass.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:48:54 -0800

Notes that every time someone refers to him as "schuyler", poster is reminded of Caleb Carr and his protagonist John Schuyler Moore in The Alienist. Mentions that this is a good thing.

Explains to goodnewsfortheinsane that if poster hadn't gotten drunk before hand he might have come up with that on his own...notes that poster DID order enough mexican food for an army, which should keep us going for at least another 200 comments or so...

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:55:37 -0800

did you make margaritas, too?

By: scody

scody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 16:56:26 -0800

request that someone pass the guacamole, please.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:00:12 -0800

Long self-indulgent personal story dropping several names you probably never heard of from my brief but semi-eventful association with the radio station that was known as the "Roq of the '80s" as early as 1978 and didn't know what to do with itself when 1990 came around until the Seattle Grunge Sound slid down the coast and washed away all the New Waver Wusses.

Twenty years later and I still have to occasionally remind myself: Depeche Mode - lame, Joy Division/New Order - cool.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:02:49 -0800

*tears open package of Trader Joe's guacamole, getting 32% of contents all over self, 68% into plastic bowl...

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:03:17 -0800

*passes guacamole to scody*

*notes that "Mockingbirds" is a damned good song.*

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:04:53 -0800

mexican's ok, but Cuban food rocks. I need me some calamari with lime aioli and a chavvorayo (grilled chicken, jack cheese, avocado and garlic mayo) from Fatty's on Ditmars & Crescent. and several of their amazing mojitos to wash it down.

explains to wendell that me and my headbanger associates thought that "new wave" meant stuff like Duran Duran and A Flock Of Seagulls, and thus we hated it on general principles. It was only later that many of us learned that the term applied to stuff like Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe that many of us liked. Which accounts for the drunk hescher kids "punk shit" speech in the video I linked. He was merely befuddled, since my burnout buddies loved the Ramones and Suicidal tendencies as much as we liked Metallica, Megadeth and Judas Preist.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:07:43 -0800

...mentally debates for an incredibly long time whether to offer scody a choice of guacamole.*

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:08:08 -0800

*reads jonmc comment and frantically hides picture of self with Flock of Seagulls haircut*

By: kenko

kenko — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:11:51 -0800

My head is spinning round, my heart is in my shoes, yeah
I went and set the Thames on fire, oh, now I must come back down
She's laughing in her sleeve boys, I can feel it in my bones
Oh, but anywhere I'm gonna lay my head, I’m gonna call my home

Well I see that the world is upside-down
Seems that my pockets were filled up with gold
And now the clouds, well they've covered everything over
And the wind is blowing cold
Well I don't need anybody, because I learned, I learned to be alone
Well I said anywhere, anywhere, anywhere I lay my head, boys
Well I'm gonna call my home

*rowdy New Orleans funeral march*

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:12:01 -0800

I should also add that the few punks in my high school hung out with the metal/burnout kids for the most part, since they may have been forward looking when it came to music, but theywanted to party on friday night like everybody else and the burnouts knew how to let loose.

Which is why the Heavy Metal Parking Lot video backfires on the filmmaker's intentions. No matter how dumb or befuddled those kids seem, they look like they're having a blast. Any sane person probably develops an urge to crack a beer and sing Preist songs with them, in spite of themselves, cause they look like they're having a blast. And you know what? they were.

*fires up "You've Got Another Thing Coming," slugs from Bud tallboy*

wendell, you love Dr. Demento stuff, and that excuses any musical sins you might have committed, brother.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:15:10 -0800

mentions in an aside that jonmc should eat at Versailles the next time he is in LA
Links to a funny song expressed in tablature that jonmc might find funny

Races home on bus to drink domestics and rock out...

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:27:49 -0800

ha! I've never been to LA, actually. I want to go just once, because I've read so many novels set in LA. Now, if a book has a line saying "I met him at 14th and 3rd," or "I drove through Bensonhurst," I have an image in my head, but when some writer cracks wise about "the Valley," or "Slauson Boulevard," I draw a blank.

I developed my taste for cuban food when I lived in Florida. I hated the state with a passion, but croquetas jamon and cafelitos rule!

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:35:33 -0800

Everybody sing along!!!!

I surfed around the internets.
I never thought I'd find a site like this;
Find a site like this.
With drama queens and snarky guys;
The kind of guys that never give a piss;
Never give a piss.

Then Jrun, it took it all away.
That Jrun, it's down all night and day.
I couldn't FPP.

quonsar appears within the thread;
A screaming asshat's trolling right at you,
Trolling right at you.
The noobies fight the 14Ks.
Here comes NewsFilter Pepsi Blue.
NewsFilter Pepsi Blue.

Then Jrun, it took it all away.
That Jrun, it's down all night and day.
I couldn't AskMeFi.

So glad I bookmarked MetaChat;
I'm slowly getting thread 9-6-2-2;
Thread 9-6-2-2.
Reloaded page to try again;
A hotlinked goatse slowly comes in view;
Goatse comes in view.

Then Jrun, it took it all away.
That Jrun, it's down all night and day.
I'm going to MoFi.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:38:47 -0800

wendell, you love Dr. Demento stuff,
Poster whose name rhymes with "Send Hell" prepares even longer Dr. Demento story from 19-SEVENTY-4.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:43:14 -0800

Poster preemptively boots wendell in the head, and shows wendell many frightening pictures of Rodney and the slags he's shagged.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:43:40 -0800

Angry, inflammatory observation that thread has become chat filter, posted just prior to realization that observation would have been better made at comment seven.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:47:16 -0800

She went away for the holidays said she’s
Going to l.a. but she never got there
She never got there, she never got there, they say

The JJJ took my baby away they took her away
Away from me the JJJ took my baby away
They took her away away from me....

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:51:50 -0800

Totally and completely stolen from keswick in the AlexReynolds drama queen thread.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:53:28 -0800

Is it just me or did the blogdar asshats change the image back to the ewok, then change it back to the goatse image after they read the comment that called the asshats?

*doh*

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:55:07 -0800

I'm playing japenese punk outit Hi-Standard's cover of the old Russ Ballard/Rainbow/Head East/Impelliteri/Alcatrazz chestnut "Since You've Been Gone." It fuckin' rocks and all they did was speed it up. More proof that in many ways, punk rock and butt-rock are the same thing, all the differences partisans prattle on about are irrelevancies that have exactly zero to do with how it actually feels to listen to the music.

My man black8 once said that he liked Black Flag's "TV Party" and Motley Crue's "Live Wire" for exactly the same reasons: they were both loud, fast, and unsubtle. I'll buy that with every thing I've got, dude.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:56:37 -0800

Wait a minute... that wasn't a Flock of Seagulls haircut - I just slept on my head funny!

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:57:36 -0800

*realizes what fun others will have with my last comment*

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:58:20 -0800

MetaFilter: loud, fast, and unsubtle.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:59:04 -0800

This is a brief aside to honor keswick's posting in that thread. He was also responsible for the "Oh the Huge Manatee" picture, which killed me. The medal for valiant, consistently cutting posting in an atrocity-laden pile-on goes to keswick.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 18:16:48 -0800

MetaFilter: loads slow, unstable.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 18:57:41 -0800

DutifulPostIntendedToFulfillSchyler523'sRequestForAReallyLongRunOnSentenceThatForcesOneToScrollToTheRightALongWaysInOrderToReadTheWholeThingButWithoutKnowingHowMuchDataCanFitIntoOneScreenForAllThoseLuckyKidsWithBigMonitorsAndHighResolutionsThePostGoesOnAtMuchMoreLengthThanIsTrulyRequiredOrAppropriateOrAtLeastThatIsWhatThisSmallScreenedGeekIsHopingOrGuessingYouPickWhich.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 18:58:58 -0800

I don't want your big French fry
I don't want your car
I don't want to buy no soap
From no washed up movie star
You are so much louder
Than the show I wanna hear
With your sugarless gum
Gee but I'm dumb
Non-alcoholic beer
It's enough to make a grown man
Blow up his own TV
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me

I heard you the first time
I heard myself say
Seems like the little woman
Is getting bigger every day
You don't have to tell the neighbors
A little silence ain't no sin
They already think my name is
Where in the hell you been?
Louder, louder, louder, louder, louder
Constantly
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Sweet serenity
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me

Ain't it great at the end of the day
When there ain't no sound around
Just me and the fence post
Staring each other down
Nothing but a big bunch of nothing
Driving me insane
Cause there ain't no voice that's louder
Than the one inside my brain
Hey you go on
Go on and let me be
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Sweet serenity

Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me
Quit hollerin' at me

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:01:39 -0800

Belated realization that, after having previously expressed derision for anyone posting to the grey/gray out of a sense of duty, it's probably bad form to make a dutiful post.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:03:36 -0800

Pre-emptive smacking of self with fish pancakes to save anyone else the trouble.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:04:44 -0800

Gratuitously posts more song lyrics of questionable taste and propriety:

Here's the new shit I'm on
We can all get along
But if ya step to me wrong
I'm gonna bang ya like a gong
And I don't need a gang to do it
I creep solo
Beat ya till ya dead
Put out ya freakin head
That's how I do
Because I'm sick like dat
And you'll get kicked like dat
If ya fakin' the funk
I got a trunk full of beats
And a head full of rhymes
I got stains on my sheets
From all the good times
That I spent with ya Hookers
Some were good lookers
And some were just stunts
After too many blunts
Ya got ya arm around ya girl
But don't make me laugh kid
Gettin steam pressured
Your girl's schemin' on the grafted
Jail faced Celt
Backed up
Catch a welt
From the buckle
Of my belt
Now tell me how that felt
Oooh I'm on some of the over there shit (3x)
I'm on some Milky I don't care shit
I don't care...
It's the return of the livin dead
Put all concerned to bed
I'm alive and kickin'
Ask any girl I'm stickin
Back once again
I never shot the heroin
Or hit the glass pipe
Ass wipe
Stop the rumor
I'll kill ya like a tumor in your colon
I'll leave your shit all swollen
Get off my dick cause thick is how I'm rollin'
The Soul Assassainator'll
Get ya open like a crator
I'm down with psycho vader
cause I'm flava' like a plate a'
Corn beef and cabbage
I'm a savage on the set
Don't do nuthin' you'll regret
Because you'll end up gettin' wet like water
I'm out for slaughter
Cops lock up your daughter
Chorus
I rock it page style cause freed damaged ya
If ya play me close punk I'm gonna' damage ya
We got the FunkDoobie in the House
With the Mickey Mouse
I spot a hooker then I'm runnin up in ya blouse
I ain't a bitch so don't play me soft
I got a round in my chamber and the safety's off
Pullin' on the trigger
Ain't nuthin brave
But I'm a sick fucker
Like a red-neck trucker
And I just might buck ya down
You're starin' down my barrel
So ya jump around
Ya try to get away
But I'm too quick to pull
So don't try to gas me
Punk, my tank's full
I ain't got the time
I don't need the fuel
Punk we can duel
I'll take ya ass to school
Then break down the lesson
Here's the pop quiz
I get's top billin'
You can ask Iz

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:11:07 -0800

Ok, pack it up, people. Wendell wins. Mardi Gras is over. It's lenten loaves and meta-bile for the next 40 days. Tubgirl, I'm afraid I'm gonna hafta ask ya to put that away. You too keyfob boy.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:12:16 -0800

You’re such a mystery I just want to stand and stare
Nibble on your ear and smell the ocean in your hair
You know you damage me you leave me tangled in a knot
But when you reappear I see Neptunian blues that eyes forgot
Neptunian blues that eyes forgot

I only feel alive when the vu’s flashing alarms going off in my head
I want to grab you and just kiss you maybe I should sit down
No sense in cashing us now
Still I only feel alright when the vu’s flashing bombs going off in my head
I want to grab you want to scream at you no icing me down
The party’s crashing us now
The party’s crashing us now

Oh well we made love like a pair of black wizards
You freed me from the past you fucked the suburbs out of me
And all those ugly days that made us so sick
They are just fossils now we’ve learned the elevating trick
We’ve learned the elevating trick

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:14:30 -0800

Nice try, though.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:19:55 -0800

I couldn't FPP at my sister's wedding either. I was like 7.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:24:34 -0800

Has the #comment anchor like moved recently? I swear she used to sit higher.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:28:24 -0800

At my sisters wedding I was about 27. I didn't FPP but I got piss drunk. I was a groomsman and wore a tux. I looked like lurch.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:30:43 -0800

Well, he went down to dinner in his Sunday best
Excitable boy, they all said
And he rubbed the pot roast all over his chest
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

He took in the four a.m. show at the Clark
Excitable boy, they all said
And he bit the usherette's leg in the dark
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

He took little Susie to the Junior Prom
Excitable boy, they all said
and he raped her and killed her, then he took her home
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy
After ten long years they let him out of the Home
Excitable boy, they all said
And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones
Excitable boy, they all said
Well, he's just an excitable boy

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:39:14 -0800

. . .

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:42:53 -0800

(schyler, that was incredible. I'm heartbroken for you and hope things work out or that at least you might sleep on the trampoline tonight.)

Acknowledgment of scody's acknowledgment of raedyn and my plans.

Giddy but -- who are we kidding? -- perhaps naive assurance that indeed this could work out, that in habitually passing across the distinct but permeable border between Canada and the United States, scody could form an equally distinct but permeable barrier in her heart between that portion dedicated to the Love of Her Life and that portion dedicated to the Canadian Love of her Life, and that because of my deep respect for both, and because of the years we've spent together, I could understand that scody would always be there for me, as I for her, just not in Canada.

Insistence that your hair looks great, but come on, the car's waiting and we're late for dinner.

By: thedevildancedlightly

thedevildancedlightly — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:51:04 -0800

Posts incomprehensible set of links, for no apparent reason whatsoever. Wonders why everybody else doesn't understand.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:54:05 -0800

I feel a FUCK BUSH coming on.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:02:41 -0800

Why does it keep timing out?!

posted by StarFucker at 4:39 PM PST on May 20

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:03:49 -0800

You know, I forgot all about sportsfilter. Huh.

Oh, and

Observation that pets are really cool because having them allows you to say, out loud, things like "Elvis! Why did you pee on the floor?!?! You BASTARD!!!!" and to chuckle to yourself later when you realize the inherent absurdity of your outburst.

By: rev_crash_davis

rev_crash_davis — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:04:24 -0800

*sockpuppet comment to see if anyone responded to prior cameo comment*

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:08:12 -0800

Waves at crash again, politely asks him if he wouldn't mind putting the migs signal back up again.

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:18:31 -0800

Query as to whether gramschmidt's linked image might indeed refer to this user. Follow up question about whether or not gramschmidt really feels I've been careless.

Insistence that nowhere outside of this thread (and my user page) have I ever given in to the temptation to make puns involving my user name, that I in fact take this name very, very seriously and could talk for hours about Emily Dickinson and Richard Foreman and anonymity and corporeality in general, how it might appear both apropos and ironic to refer to oneself on the internet as being nobody or having no body, how this choice of a user name was not simply a "fuck you" to the community.

(Note of surprise that "fuck" is not in the mefi dictionary. Realization that perhaps I have never used such language on metafilter before.)

By: kenko

kenko — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:34:33 -0800

Request that the user called "nobody" talk for hours about Dickinson, anonymity, etc..

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:37:20 -0800

If, indeed, this WWII era soldier were to tell you his important military secrets instead of Her, would he in fact be betraying the nationalism implicit in urge-to-secrecy type propaganda posters like this? The poster clearly admonishes him to "TELL NOBODY". It does not explicitly stipulate that the soldier is forbidden to relate his information at all, whether to his Her or to a room or physical space suspected to be empty. It does not represent a proscription on the act of uttering, out loud (or, presumably, on paper), his information. Thus, if you are, in fact, a corporeal entity with the fortunate name of Nobody, would the solider be justified in relating his information to you?

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:42:28 -0800

Request that the users named Emily Dickinson and Richard Foreman talk for hours about nobody.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:45:42 -0800

This thread needs less cowbell and more Shel Silverstein...

In the Granville Greyhound station in the lightly drizzlin' rain
Sittin' on my suitcase, goin' quietly insane
All about you, girl,
All about you.
All about you and the no feelin'
Double-dealin' things that you do.

Every man in Granville
Says he knows you well.
Burn your ears if you could hear
The stories that they tell
All about you. . .

They say you're picked up every Thursday
In a rich man's limousine.
And some cat in San Quentin
Keeps on havin' nasty dreams
All about you. . .

Now the summer sun may burn my back
And these tears may dim my sight.
But before I die, there's a dirty book I'm gonna write
All about you, girl
All about you.
All about you and the no feelin'
Double-dealin' things that you do.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 20:52:26 -0800

I'm barely holding my fudge.

By: rev_crash_davis

rev_crash_davis — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:10:39 -0800

"Waves at crash again, politely asks him if he wouldn't mind putting the migs signal back up again"

Oh, all right.

But just this once.

By: amberglow

amberglow — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:20:04 -0800

Expresses surprise and awe that you're still at it.

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:36:21 -0800

My Dearest MetaTalk,

I received your invitation with pleasure and would love to attend 9622 on your
sumptuous arm! In this case, however, the conditional tense you see above is not
simple politesse; it really does imply a conditional statement, the end of which is,
despite the enthusiastic exclamation, "if I could."

You see, I leave tomorrow for a week on an electricity-less island off the coast of
Maine. I cannot join you at 9622 because by tomorrow night I will be trailing my
fingers in the water and watching the bioluminescent plankton blink blink blink in
their giddy, automatic reply. I will try. I will try to organize their blinking into
something intelligible to the geostatic satellites whose signals I'm sure you
monitor. I will try, through this nocturnal blinking, to post witty nightly updates
to your thread of choice. But the chance of success in this bioelectric endeavour
can be only very, very slim.

Please. No matter how unlikely my story sounds, do not think I am merely inventing
this tale to get out of spending another week in your surely (and surly) lovely
company. Perhaps you will accept photographic evidence that I have done this before:

.

Please,
nobody.

P.S. - Apologies for the linebreaks. I hope no one has a monitor that small.

P.P.S. - It's not me in the first ones.

P.P.P.S. - This thread better still be hopping when I return. Perhaps someone ought to
cache a copy or two in case things get out of hand and mathowie gets finicky.

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:39:59 -0800

Post expressing suprise and awe that Amberglow, of all people, is surprised and awed.

(Also describes plot to win scody's heart while nobody's temporarily out of the picture.)

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:49:56 -0800

Post expressing shock and awe that both am'glow and bbd used the phrase "surprise and awe".

By: nobody

nobody — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:50:01 -0800

P.P.P.P.S. - Scody: Wait for me.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:55:00 -0800

(Critiques bigbigdog's plot, giving it less than a 20% chance of success, especially after using the phrase "nobody's temporarily out of the picture")

By: weretable and the undead chairs

weretable and the undead chairs — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:57:50 -0800

*adds blogdar site to hosts file, never to see again*

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 21:59:38 -0800

Post expressing delight that fiendish plot has 20 percent chance of success -- batting .200 can get one into The Show.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:00:38 -0800

Casually observes that "shaukundaugh" is in fact the original Algonquin word from which our current overused phrase is derived (it means, literally, "holy crap! can you believe it?"

Patiently waits for languagehat to come charging in to angrily refute the prior assertion, before he realizes he's been had.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:04:58 -0800

Adds closing parenthesis

)

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:07:05 -0800

Followup post apologizing profusely, not for typo, but for implication that target of dastardly designs, the one and only, fair, principled, delicious, erudite, scholarly, wonderful Scody, could be referred to as a mere "show".

Followup paragraph preceded with "on preview" reminding poster that the reference was to farm leagues and Major League Baseball.

Additional followup paragraph, also preceded with "on preview", noting that thinking about baseball has certain connotations in certain contexts, which should not be viewed as endorsement of any particular interpretation of abovesaid dastardly designs.

By: wendell

wendell — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:36:50 -0800

Wonders how bbd could bring up baseball and dastardly designs without mentioning George Steinbrenner.

By: kenko

kenko — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:45:32 -0800

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 00:09:08 -0800

"Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is an astoundingly incredible comedian, perhaps the best performance art / stand-up act of the millenium. Best since Dave Coulier. Timing and delivery impeccable. Triple A+++. Would quote again." -- gramschmidt, in the Prodigious MetaTalk9622 Wank-Fest of June, 2005

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 00:09:30 -0800

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 01:14:56 -0800

It burnsss us!

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 01:39:30 -0800

makes post commenting on lack of serious deep analysis of post after this point.

thanks raedyn for stepping up to fill the horizontal void. Smacks raedyn again with fish pancake for good measure.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:10:31 -0800

Wonders how Sylvia Plath got into this. Makes list of poets implicated in this thread :

- e. e. cummings
- Emily Dickinson
- Sylvia Plath

Tells pointless story about wandering around Amherst in the middle of the night with nothing to do and making a pilgrimage to Dickinson's grave and leaving behind some apples. Why apples, I don't know, they were in my purse. Why apples were in my purse, I have no idea. You've got to be prepared.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:45:35 -0800

Returns in time to point out that, at the very least, they weren't plums from the freezer ('cause you're already so cold, that would be cruel) and you weren't referencing McGonagall.

Reluctantly surrenders self to sleepy time activities and begin softly snoring.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:48:05 -0800

Ties in previous discussion of weddings with e.e. cummings :

this little bride & groom are
standing) in a kind
of crown he dressed
in black candy she

veiled with candy white
carrying a bouquet of
pretend flowers this
candy crown with this candy

little bride & little
groom in it kind of stands on
a thin ring which stands on a much
less thin very much more

big & kinder of ring & which
kinder of stands on a
much more than very much
biggest & thickest & kindest

of ring & all one two three rings
are cake & everything is protected by
cellophane against anything (because
nothing really exists

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:49:06 -0800

Hates sticky 'S' on keyboard but sleeps anyway.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:55:10 -0800

A poem by Emily Dickinson which mentions apples as a ex-post-facto explanation for previous story :

"Heaven" - is what I cannot reach!
The Apple on the Tree -
Provided it do hopeless - hang -
That - "Heaven" is - to Me!

The Color, on the Cruising Cloud -
The interdicted Land -
Behind the Hill - the House behind -
There - Paradise - is found!

Her teasing Purples - Afternoons -
The credulous - decoy -
Enamored of the Conjuror -
That spurned us - Yesterday!

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 03:57:45 -0800

Wishes Frisbee Girl a good night's sleep. Wonders if any more European MeFites are going to drag ass over here or if I'm just going to have to hold down the fort until the East Coast wakes up.

*goes searching for appropriate Plath poem to tie into thread.*

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 04:11:40 -0800

A poem for nobody.

Sylvia Plath - Night Shift

It was not a heart, beating.
That muted boom, that clangor
Far off, not blood in the ears
Drumming up and fever

To impose on the evening.
The noise came from outside:
A metal detonating
Native, evidently, to

These stilled suburbs nobody
Startled at it, though the sound
Shook the ground with its pounding.
It took a root at my coming

Till the thudding shource, exposed,
Counfounded in wept guesswork:
Framed in windows of Main Street's
Silver factory, immense

Hammers hoisted, wheels turning,
Stalled, let fall their vertical
Tonnage of metal and wood;
Stunned in marrow. Men in white

Undershirts circled, tending
Without stop those greased machines,
Tending, without stop, the blunt
Indefatigable fact.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 05:07:16 -0800

Hey grapfruitmoon, what you doing sitting here on your own in the dark reciting Sylvia Plath?
That's not a happy place to be.

*sticks 16 Shells From A Thirty-Ought-Six on the stereo and starts dancing (stomping?) badly*

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 05:21:59 -0800

Starts making physical threats after being soundly thrashed in intellectual combat, failing to take into account the nature of the internets and thus; much like Johnny the Down's Syndrome sprinter; proves himself to be a "winner" in only the way someone participating in the Special Olympics can be considered a winner.

Refuses to preview or spell check or even amend the run on sentences. Threatens to "kick your ass" if you are ever in his home down. Feels the flow of testosterone.

Heads back to hot man-on-man masturbation video.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 05:41:56 -0800

I always assumed 'nobody' was an homage to the conventional user account of the http process.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 05:53:44 -0800

*dances along*

Makes condescending comment that longbaugh's display of testerone would be better suited at one of those other community forums.

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 06:01:39 -0800

Thrashes madly at not so subtle hint regarding his masculinity. Threatens to prove it by forcibly sodomising dead grandparents.

Realises that as part of the S@L sockpuppet collective that being male or female is fundamentally irrelevent and that necro-incest-rape is frowned upon, even here in the land of the free*.

Moves to NYC to live in a yurt with a lesbian singer/songwriter and becomes a performance artist.

*except in mississipi

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 06:26:49 -0800

Are you sure it's Mississippi? I thought it was Arkansas...

Makes comment referring to conservative argument that if we allow the gays to marry, that dead grandparents sodomy is next. Rhetorical question about whether a man's unnatural lust for his deceased relatives is really a crime?

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 06:38:41 -0800

[ok]

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 06:39:20 -0800

For God's sake won't somebody think of the ~~children~~ dead grandparents!

Oh, actually, I thinking about that now *feels a little horny*

*slaps self round face & concentrates on something, anything else*

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 06:44:16 -0800

You beatniks got no stamina.

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 07:03:00 -0800

Terry Riley, he had stamina.

By: Frisbee Girl

Frisbee Girl — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 07:15:47 -0800

Threatens to prove it by forcibly sodomising dead grandparents.

Well, thank God someone finally decided to have mercy on the poor mules.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 07:18:13 -0800

jessamyn rulez!

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 07:33:02 -0800

Debates spending $5 on purchasing sock puppet account named "Seed Filled OAP Buns" realises it would be better spent releasing pent up sexual energy on a cheap Thai hooker.

Notices hooker has a ding-a-ling.

Thinks "Meh, it's the 21st Century" and carries on.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 07:55:13 -0800

You beatniks got no stamina.

Scram, conformo.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:07:19 -0800

I'm worried about Matt's "All posts are © their original authors" at the bottom of the page. Imagine a day in the distant future when MetaFilter has come to be known as the single best, most comprehensive and representative record of human culture around the turn of the century. The Internet itself is still seen as an integral information sharing tool, but not as a permanent repository of information. Thus, mathowie's estate decides to publish MetaFilter: The Book.

Would they be required to gain written permission from every one of our estates before publishing? Or will his estate have become such a powerful lobbyist group in D.C. that copyright law will have been changed by then to allow them to circumvent this need?

And what if the only thing my estate demands as royalties is a bag of Twizzlers?

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:08:41 -0800

Hell there are only five real accounts anyway - Matt can assimilate them Borg style and can them proceed to take over the world!

/third person perspective

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:13:29 -0800

I won't be important enough to have an estate :(

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:20:05 -0800

longbaugh, are you Matt or Kottke? Cause I'm Kottke.

I think. Or am I Anil Dash? I think accounts 3000 through 15000 are Anil. Right?

kenko? Matt, right?

Whoa, let me just get my head together...

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:40:52 -0800

*stands up*

"No, I'm Kottke"

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:45:09 -0800

I think I might be Mena. It would explain why I always felt out of place in my own body.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 08:49:38 -0800

Muted expression of inner joy due to continued posting occuring on 9622 v2. Pained realization that further project acccomplishments are unlikely today. Philosophical statement about good and bad being two sides of the same coin.

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:02:16 -0800

Observes that, at 830 comments, we are nearly half! way! there!

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:06:48 -0800

I always feel out of place when I am in your body too.

Disturbing.

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:14:27 -0800

In my body is just the right place for you, longbaugh.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:38:44 -0800

Always thought she was really Miguel Cardoso...

Makes note to self to write it down in her will that her estate shall demand a Viking style long boat filled with tiny handcrafted skulls for rights to "Metafilter : The Book." Oh hell, she'll just take the bag of twizzlers. Twizzlers sound good. Red ones, right?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:45:25 -0800

Formal proposition that Fezboy! agree to the following:

1) I'm never going to do it without my fez on
2) Oh no

Subject to the following stipulations:

A) That's what I am
B) Please understand
C) I want to be your holy man

Signature____________________

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:48:17 -0800

welcome to der weinerschnitzel, may i take your order please?
yeah i want: two large cokes, two large fries chili-cheese dog, large doctor pepper super deluxe, with cheese and tomato
you want bill sperm with that?
NO!

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:55:11 -0800

You want cheese and tomato on your dr. pepper? Weird, man.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 09:57:35 -0800

"No, I'm twizzlers."

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 10:23:30 -0800

"Hello, Carvel?"
"Yo man Cookypuss there?"
"Who?"
"Cookypuss, I want to speak to Cookypuss man!"
"No. Nobody here by that name."
"A Cooky O' Puss then. Cookychic, anybody man, I want to speak to them!"
"There not here."
"I said, I house ya, where's Cookie Puss at?
Yo I'm serious, I wanna talk to.. yo man
Cookypuss, alright let, let me order one then, let me get one."
"When do you want it for?"
"Anytime man, just like now and shit, you know, that shit now.
I'm talkin' now B. Damn bitch hang up, I'll kick your ass bitch"

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 10:27:30 -0800

Ms. Fruitmoon:

Pursuant to our discussion, enclosed is your viking longboat.

Please cease and desist all abusive correspondence toward Ms. Fiona Haughey and her son languagehat, Jr.

Sincerely,
Horst Obfuscanton
Counsel, Teh Estate of mathowie

By: drezdn

drezdn — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 10:29:53 -0800

Be everything as it may, this transcontinental, international cyclotouriste is navigating to locate a good companion for an extended bicycling tour. Good is defined as---female, healthy, cyclist, with a sense of bold adventure, and the willingness to be compatable on an extended world tour with yours truly.

Starting time is---not any time soon.

Route is---to be decided by those on tour---you and me.

Length of time is---to be decided.

I be fifty-three, healthy, six feet, 180 pounds, good looking but nothing to get all up in the air about, blond receding hair, green eyes, university grad., writer, teacher. Can work in exotic locations and have done so, easy to get along with, adventurous, survivor, world traveler. Have bicycled thirty thousand miles through nineteen countries---USA, Canada, Mexico, western Europe, eastern Europe, former Soviet Union, China, south Korea.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 10:32:41 -0800

*wakes up on lawn, slightly moist, again...*

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 10:33:34 -0800

KevinSkomsvold — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 12:38:27 -0800

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 12:42:35 -0800

Sings a little song.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 12:44:07 -0800

Guys, we should spread out a little, people are gonna think we're in a band or something.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 12:58:40 -0800

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 13:07:14 -0800

Please, share with us your hardware. Here's my current system:

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 13:49:35 -0800

I just got the worst manicure EVAR from a co-worker.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 14:39:13 -0800

Any pictures? A botched manicure is potentially 9622v2 GOLD!

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 14:41:44 -0800

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 14:58:31 -0800

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 15:35:01 -0800

Or perhaps smaller and smaller:

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 16:58:07 -0800

*staggers into party from the pub to see who's around, realises most people are flagging. Passes round cans of lager to schyler and gramschmidt and settles on couch to watch the fractal video that appears to be enthralling the straglers that won't go home*

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:01:15 -0800

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:06:02 -0800

Quick, name the mefite in the home video.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:26:00 -0800

gramschmidt, schyler and grapefruitmoon, you guys are truly the Guardians of SonOf9622.

Me, I'm just *slightly* less pathetic.

Giggles out loud at self-perceived accomplishment in the field of irony, then realises there's no one around.

No one.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:31:46 -0800

*gets annoyed at still being in the room but not acknowledged by goodnewsfortheinsane. Disappears off to the toilet hoping that he will be noticed on his return*

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 17:50:13 -0800

Notes that it's easy to be the guardian of a thread when you have all the free time in the world.

Further notes that she just got back from eating whale at a friend's house. Hopes that Greenpeace doesn't get wind of the photos when they are posted on Flickr later on.

Though certainly, by mentioning it in this thread, Homeland Security is going to check into my files.

"Grapefruitmoon : 5'4" female w/lipring and dubious haircut. Spends too much time writing crap on the internets. Takes pictures of boring things. Judging by dietary habits, has some sort of vendetta against chickens and wants to destroy them all. Too lazy to learn Icelandic."

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:03:33 -0800

All of this acknowledging has made my bladder go icky. I'll think I'll pay a visit to the toilet.

*knocks on door*

Hey! Who's in there??

Ah. It's probably nobody.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:08:44 -0800

I'll be out in a minute

*flushes, leaves toilet and mumbles "hello", goes off to sulk in the corner*

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:28:41 -0800

*sigh* They really seem to enjoy their trips to the john. Sits quietly imperforate.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:30:57 -0800

So, no guesses on the video? Hint: user number under 20K.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:51:43 -0800

Bigger than a bread basket.

By: Item

Item — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 18:52:20 -0800

You can just go ahead and let everyone know it was me in the video, Anus. No one important's still reading this thread, so I don't mind.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:03:49 -0800

By the way, the station decline is seen little by little when redesigning the station bumper stickers with a full decline airing a less 80’s designed logo. The time was before nirvana & grunge, when Blades dj’d more Morrissey’s fan news than the station’s regular music format of new & newer music. Didn’t infinity buy them out around then and they actually had a formatted music play list?
I'm not terribly clear on the exact timetable of the Decline of KROQ - remember, I (a) am getting senile now and (b) couldn't have spent any time there without losing brain cells at the time.

But I do remember that about two years after they stopped letting me and the other comedy writers in the building (of all the categories of hangers-on to kick out first...), I was reunited with the DJ known as Swedish Egil at, of all places, a Catholic Pre-Marital Group Counselling Session.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:12:13 -0800

And that is the LEAST humiliating story about my time at KROQ I can tell, except for when this guy took my picture and messed with it...

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:12:59 -0800

kroq is the old hfs. except?

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:14:39 -0800

No one important's still reading this thread...

*hears crickets*

*attempts lame Buddy Holly joke*

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:14:58 -0800

or mebbe i'm talking outta my ass

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:50:58 -0800

uh...IIHAA, which character?

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 20:04:53 -0800

I feel a FUCK BUSH coming on.

You know, I forgot all about sportsfilter. Huh.

Well, yeah, ok yhbc. That was probably uncool of me to brings politics to your mule party. I'm sorry. Understand, in the very depth of my soulhole, I've experienced thedevildancedlightly apologizing for Satan himself. Just as I am here before you today, apologizing.

Maybe he means well, with the lightness of his dance, but I hate his master. I hate him. So, I got a little out of hand. I'm sorry, but the given the state of my mindhole and this shithole situation, really it should have been worse.

I mean, ... I'm sorry, ok? My biggest regret is that by participating in meta9622's birthing, I contributed to it's inevitable return to dust.

But that's my only hope as well. And Armageddon won't be so bad, maybe.

There will at least be the friends we've made here this week. And maybe -- just as twinkle of life touched down on this planet eons ago -- goatse may survive within the libraries of advanced amoeba cultures, and we will all live on through him.

on preview: que, schyler? item? I think he played ralph malph in the off-broadway version.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 20:20:39 -0800

Cactus? I'm rather confused.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 20:33:06 -0800

schyler, anus, wendell, qwerty, goodnews, item, cranberry, kenko, fez, frisbee, grapefruit, and anybody else diligently monitoring this beautiful tarpit of a thread, you are all invited to the 9622v2 Clusterfuck Meet-Up Whale BBQ at grapefruitmoon's place. I suggest consulting various last-minute online cut-rate services for cheap airfare to Iceland. I will be taking Amtrak from San Diego to Boston and then swimming to Reykjavik. What time, grapefruitmoon?

Anus: Was zum Teufel? Wer ist das? I have no legitimate guess. My illegitimate guess is that the child is quonsar and the adult male he keeps whalloping is mathowie. JRun ruins relationships.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 20:34:08 -0800

loquacious is in, obviously.

By: LarryC

LarryC — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:00:19 -0800

Heated rebuttal of a minor point in an earlier comment combined with ad-hominen attack that are really carryover from a previous grudge match in the blue.

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:37:39 -0800

Jumps up and down! Party! Gets towel, prepares to hitchhike to Boston, swim to Iceland. Would really prefer to apparate. Hopes not to be harpooned like whale. Puts lawn sprinklers on timer; sets them on stun.

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:49:16 -0800

Post apologizing to scody and nobody. Explanation involving alcohol and late nights, which nobody believes.

Additional paragraph explaining difference between rhetorical use of term "nobody" and reference to actual poster "nobody."

Sentence describing poster's desire to sleep everything off and hide in big hole.

Post-script-ish final sentence recognizing yhbc's masterful use of metatalk, which wonders what would have happened if metat post 9622 had gone to someone else. Additional sentence expressing dismay at possibility of world-variant hypothetical actually coming to pass.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:53:21 -0800

Call me Ishmael... Yar.

*sharpens harpoon, carves scrimshaw*

By: sophieblue

sophieblue — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 21:55:54 -0800

wonders why no one commented on the greatness of that photo of the prom guy with a ups truck crashed in a ditch behind him.

would be mortified to realize that they did, many times, several hundred comments back.

By: sophieblue

sophieblue — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 22:00:31 -0800

wonders why no one commented on the greatness of that photo, way upthread, of the prom guy with a ups truck crashed in a ditch behind him.

would be mortified to realize that they did, many times, several hundred comments back.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 22:03:50 -0800

suggestion to sophieb that if you want to jump-start interest in an image attached to a comment way upthread from here, you should link to it.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 22:05:08 -0800

Or better yet, show it again...

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 22:43:24 -0800

I just got drunk with two friends of mine, one of whom is an exceedingly hot girl I've had it bad for for, say, three years even though she told me about 18 months ago she doesn't fancy me. It's quite likely I'll rarely if ever see either of them again, owing to the exigencies of my nearing departure from Chicago (in August) and their summer plans followed by their own departures from the city in the following year when they graduate.

By a remarkable coincidence I happen to be listening AOTW to Huun-Huur-Tu singing "Eshten Charlyyry Berge", which apparently means "It's Hard to be Parted from a Friend".

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 23:09:36 -0800

So, if you're likely never to see them again, what possible reservation could you have against propositioning the girl, right this second?

By: kenko

kenko — Fri, 10 Jun 2005 23:13:17 -0800

I don't think that would improve relations with my girlfriend. NTM she already indicated that she wasn't interested, however long ago that may have been. Plus despite my general pessimism I tend to think that people who actually want to keep in touch and see each other will do so.

(As for "right this second", well, she already left, and when she was here, so was our other friend.)

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 02:26:04 -0800

Whale and longboats for all! I'll pick you suckers up off the coast as you start floating in. Do follow the signs and try not end up in Greenland - I don't have time to haul ass to Greenland to fish you out AND cook for you.

If you're lucky, I'll even break out the traditional Icelandic liquor. Or perhaps I should say, if you're unlucky, I'll even break out the traditional Icelandic liquor.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 04:26:19 -0800

Ah, mother Iceland! I can hardly wait to see the sites:

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 04:27:03 -0800

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 12:33:29 -0800

And considering I've posted the last 6 comments...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 12:35:11 -0800

Self-indulgent celebratory declaration of 1000th comment on either this or previous entry.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 12:37:28 -0800

Obligatory declaration that we'll never make 2000...
especially if gramschmidt keeps posting pictures...

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 12:43:18 -0800

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 12:44:35 -0800

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 13:06:29 -0800

traditional Icelandic liquor all around. the thread was calibrated at 1001 when I started slogging through, er, make that enjoying today's comments.
Question: is long boat Icelandic equivalent of short bus?

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 13:34:23 -0800

I have two pictures in my head : one is a bunch of mentally handicapped Vikings in the "short boat" and the other is a bunch of mentally handicapped citizens wielding swords on the short bus.

Both are hilarious, if unsettling.

By: kenko

kenko — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 14:24:38 -0800

This is for you, scody:

Grapefruit moon, one star shining, shining down on me.
Heard that tune, and now I'm pining, honey, can't you see?
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, can't turn back the tide.

Never had no destinations, could not get across.
You became my inspiration, oh but what a cost.
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, something breaks inside,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, is more than I can hide.

Now I'm smoking cigarettes and I strive for purity,
And I slip just like the stars into obscurity.
Cause every time I hear that melody, well, puts me up a tree,
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining, is all that I can see.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 14:30:21 -0800

Seems like an odd song to dedicate to scody.

What is it with this scody? She has entranced you all!

I'm willing to part with the longboat, but I'd like my song back.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 15:14:37 -0800

What is it with this scody? She has entranced you all!

Once tagged by the q-man, she has become the crush of all of straight male MeFites, replacing the mysterious madamjujujive. Of course, I can claim to being among the earliest entranced, at the Feb. 2004 L.A. Meetup where she was clearly the most fascinating unattached lady (with apologies to MoFi's Space Kitty who was aggressively flirting with me), and having commiserated with her painful jaw surgery (myself having major dental issues still awaiting other persistant medical issues to be resolved) and wondering if she still has access to free tickets to major cultural events in L.A. (yes, there ARE cultural events in L.A.), but thinking I should probably just have taken this to email but since I've already made embarassing revelations about my behavior two decades ago in this thread, what the hell...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 15:26:07 -0800

And grapefruitmoon, if you are unable to get your song back, you could always get a sock puppet account as "grapefruitjuicyfruit", from the Jimmy Buffet song:

Grapefruit a bathin' suit you chew a little juicy fruit wash away the night
Drive-in you guzzle gin commit a little mortal sin it's good for the soul
And oh it gets so damn lonely when you're on a plane alone
And if I had the money honey I'd strap you in beside me
And never ever leave you leave you at home all alone and cryin'

(Okay, not as good, but better than Weird Al Yankovic's "Grapefruit Diet" song, and that's all my google-fu could find)

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 16:13:10 -0800

Yes, dedicating "Grapefruit Moon" to someone else in this thread seems rather odd, like dedicating a Los Lobos song about fatherhood to someone other than WolfDaddy.

So, in the interest of Username Propriety, I am re-dedicating the song "Grapefruit Moon", by Tom Waits, to our Italian longboat-photographing, Iceland-dwelling 9622v2 colleague, grapefruitmoon:

Grapefruit moon, one star shining
Shining down on me
Heard that tune, and now I'm pining
Honey, can't you see?
Cause every time I hear that melody
something breaks inside
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining
Can't turn back the tide

Never had no destinations
Could not get across
You became my inspiration
Oh, but what a cost
And every time I hear that melody
something breaks inside
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining
is more than I can hide

Now I'm smoking cigarettes
and I strive for purity
And I slip just like the stars
into obscurity
And every time I hear that melody
puts me up a tree
And the grapefruit moon, one star shining
is all that I can see

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 16:18:42 -0800

And "Wendell Gee", by R.E.M., is dedicated to, uh, loquacious:

That’s when Wendell Gee takes a tug
Upon the string that held the line of trees
Behind the house he lived in
He was reared to give respect
But somewhere down the line he chose
To whistle as the wind blows
Whistle as the wind blows, with me

He had a dream one night
That the tree had lost its middle
So he built a trunk of chicken wire
To try to hold it up
But the wire, the wire turned to lizard skin
And when he climbed inside
There wasn’t even time to say
Goodbye to Wendell Gee
So whistle as the wind blows
Whistle as the wind blows, with me

If the wind were colors
And if the air could speak
Then whistle as the wind blows
Whistle as the wind blows

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 16:26:58 -0800

And the song "Put Me Down", by The Cranberries, goes out to...I don't know, fuck, maybe Frisbee Girl?

Let me take you
By the hand
Away from here
To another land
Oh this land in which we live
Where people love and are meant to forgive
And you always prove me wrong
'Cos you're always putting me down

I can't take this anymore
I decided to leave
Walked throught the door
Oh, and why do you think I go
Because you know it can never be so
And you always prove me wrong
'Cos you're always putting me down

La, la, la...

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 16:44:34 -0800

Damn you all. Do you know how long its taken me to find my copy of Closing Time?

Also, I've just got back from the pub and eaten an unhealthily large number of skittles so I now feel like I'm going to start bouncing round the room.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 16:57:46 -0800

This Klee goes out to deborah:

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 17:00:46 -0800

Glad to have my song back, nothing against the ravishing Ms. Scody.

So, who do the ladies of MetaFilter have the hots for? Quonsar?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 17:01:58 -0800

qwerty gets a Brakhage still:

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 17:11:16 -0800

*looks up brakhage on teh wiki but still doesnt really get it, decides on preview that he's nott sure if there may or may not be anything to 'get'*

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 17:11:32 -0800

And Bix Beiderbecke for King Oliver:

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 17:17:33 -0800

And "Wendell Gee", by R.E.M., is dedicated to, uh, loquacious:
gramschmidt, "Whistle as the wind blows" where the sun don't shine.

Although, discounting the spelling error, I actually prefer "Mr. Wendal" by Arrested Development (the group, not the TV show)

Here, have a dollar,
in fact no brotherman here, have two
Two dollars means a snack for me,
but it means a big deal to you
Be strong, serve God only,
know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaits
That's the poem I wrote for the first time
I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate
Mr.Wendal, that's his name,
no one ever knew his name cause he's a no-one
Never thought twice about spending on a ol' bum,
until I had the chance to really get to know one
Now that I know him, to give him money isn't charity
He gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoes
And to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges,
still most of y'all come out confused
Go ahead, Mr.Wendal
Go ahead, Mr.Wendal
Mr.Wendal has freedom,
a free that you and I think is dumb
Free to be without the worries of a quick to diss society
for Mr.Wendal's a bum
His only worries are sickness
and an occasional harassment by the police and their chase
Uncivilized we call him,
but I just saw him eat off the food we waste
Civilization, are we really civilized, yes or no ?
Who are we to judge ?
When thousands of innocent men could be brutally enslaved
and killed over a racist grudge
Mr.Wendal has tried to warn us about our ways
but we don't hear him talk
Is it his fault when we've gone too far,
and we got too far, cause on him we walk
Mr.Wendal, a man, a human in flesh,
but not by law
I feed you dignity to stand with pride,
realize that all in all you stand tall

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 17:51:59 -0800

Stan Brakhage's stuff is pretty good, so it's just an association of something good with someone good, not a deft comment upon the western keyboard -- unless you want to claim that the swirling, disorienting images in a Brakhage film speak to the disconnected nature of a post-structuralist, fractured-image-driven world in the same way that the top-left-most letters on the keyboard represent the preferred though intrinsically disconnected method of communication among the most technologically inclined members of this world.

So if you want to make this claim, go ahead. I'm not going to stop you.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 18:22:37 -0800

Hello 9622v2-ers-

I've been out and about doing things with my life - mostly playing songs to people, so it's good to see you guys doing the same in online and verbal form.

That's about it.

By: bigbigdog

bigbigdog — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 18:52:50 -0800

Ponders going into business writing business cards. Decides writing song lyrics obviously more important to society at large and mefi at small.

Revises dastardly plot to involve quonsar (in role of spinning ball of light).

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 19:09:40 -0800

inappropriate shoutout to "homies" and mention of spilled forty oz. malt liquor for no discernable reason.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 19:15:07 -0800

*Slips in large puddle of malt liquor, injures back, promises to sue every "homie" at home*

By: scody

scody — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 19:26:13 -0800

Peerhaps the lion's sissy brother Joe would be interested...

affectionate expression of appriciation to jon for the sly bowie reference. heartfelt thanks for wonderful song dedications.

slightly drunk, giddy tangential announcement of actually having just come back from the Best! Second! Date! EVAR! (at a SHOOTING RANGE, no less -- though I hasten to add that the whiskey followed the guns, not the other way 'round)...followed by fervently sincere declaration of intention to continue to flirt with fellow beloved MeFites, as I'm not yet 100% sure of this guy, but positive of all of your good intentions.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 20:54:29 -0800

Pops in to check on the experiment, pat everyone on the back for such good effort and offer a note of encouragement:

At 1025 comments, already more than half way to a new record. Just 700 more comments to go in the next 25 days. Don't want to fall just short.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 20:56:06 -0800

I, for one, know better than to compete with a guy who knows how to shoot a gun...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 21:03:52 -0800

Patient explanation to casu marzu that #1142 was the record holding longest thread prior to #9622.

1142 has something else in common with 9622, but if I tell you what it is, the Cabal That Doesn't Exist will send somebody to my house to forcably remove my spleen.

In fact, I may have already said too much.

Is that somebody at the door?

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 21:06:22 -0800

Worst case scenario: The Cabal hires scody's date to rub me out.

His name isn't Mr. Smith, was it?

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 21:08:51 -0800

Poster with name from REM song needs to stop trying to continue a story arc in this thread and just make more non-sequitur comments.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 21:14:16 -0800

By the way, I give SonOf9622 8 on the Coolness scale, but only 5 for Darkness (self-link).

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:00:35 -0800

Must...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:01:39 -0800

Increase...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:02:19 -0800

Comment...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:03:02 -0800

Count...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:03:48 -0800

Before...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:04:57 -0800

gramschmidt...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:05:26 -0800

Posts...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:05:53 -0800

More...

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:06:24 -0800

Pictures...

By: drezdn

drezdn — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:22:42 -0800

Wait.....

Wait....

Scody is a girl? Grapefruit Moon is a girl?

I thought Metafilter was a sausage party. Now what am I supposed to do with all this ketchup?

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:23:03 -0800

Poster asks himself what he's doing on a Saturday Night in L.A.

Poster decides not to wait for Cabal Assassin; shoots self.

By: wendell

wendell — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:25:17 -0800

Now what am I supposed to do with all this ketchup?

Let me have it to use as fake blood to fake my death so that the Cabal Assassin will ignore me...

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:44:41 -0800

Pow.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:46:17 -0800

I did briefly resolve to use smaller images, but no one really took me up on it.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:49:43 -0800

And as far as Arrested Development is concerned, I have been concerned for quite some time now that there is an uncredited Prince sample in the song "Tenessee". One would think that, given Prince's obsession with ownership and compensation, there would have been a bigger stink about it.

Then again, I only pay fleeting, inconsistent attention to the popular music press, so there very well may have been. I was probably listening to Janacek string quartets with headphones at the time.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 22:51:09 -0800

Hey wendell, what's the weather like in L.A.?

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 01:42:10 -0800

where is everybody?

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 01:43:58 -0800

it is early evening in OZ. are there no Australians to maintain the thread until Europe wakes up?

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 02:46:57 -0800

Looks back into thread after being away for a couple of days and remarks that that gramschmidt fella is certainly pulling his share. Just hopes he doesn't get it all over the keyboard.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 03:25:32 -0800

Yeah, what's with Australia?!?quest111one11

I can't fall asleep on the couch, wake up several hours later and, on my way stumbling to the bed, make a brief stop at the computer to check on Teh Thred EVERY night.

Though it is possible.

*head nods, nods, lower, lower, smacks on desk*

By: gen

gen — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 03:48:29 -0800

well past 1000...on the way to 2000...

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 04:15:12 -0800

Obligatory sunday afternoon Euro post.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 04:16:00 -0800

Guaranteed 100% content-free.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 05:54:48 -0800

contemplates scody frooging to "These Boots are Made For Walkin'" in a Wonder Woman costume.

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 06:27:19 -0800

Wonders about the possibility of this thread remaining open for ever.

Remembers the part about fucking dead pensioners.

Thinks perhaps it best that it dies.

Wonders what members of the self appointed MeFi police would say about this whole charlie-foxtrot.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 06:43:37 -0800

Woke up late, sorry.

Last I checked I was a girl... sorry to disappoint. I can try to belch a little if that would make things more comfortable. I can't fart though, haven't developed the skillz.

As Billy Connoly says - the difference between men and women is that men can keep secrets and women can hold in a fart.

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 07:08:20 -0800

Get's all emotional - decides to scare fellow MeFites with images of himself and wife who he hasnt seen for 11 months. Thanks those on AskMeFi without whom it'd be a lot longer than the 4 weeks we have left...

Thanks all of y'all for being the most decent online community evar. Sends out psychic love waves to all those involved.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 07:37:22 -0800

You've got a lovely wife there, longbaugh.

Oh, pyschic love makes me all verklempt!

By: deborah

deborah — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 07:40:57 -0800

Posts wondering if goodnewsfortheinsane is trying to make a point.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 08:20:41 -0800

longbaugh, part of the problem may be the difference in size between you and your wife. You're so much smaller than she is. I don't think this marriage is going to work, with or without the visa.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 08:46:56 -0800

makes post aknowledging aliveness for those wondering about such things...

mentions that LA weather is fairly cool and cloudy...laments return to nasty hot and humid MO

curses weak hearts and modern love for leaving him out to dry...hopes for best for longbaugh and giant wife

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 08:54:03 -0800

Temporarily removes gramschmidt from the list of people in receipt of psychic love. I am notoriously unphotogenic hence the tiny wee picture - IRL I am 6'4" and she is 5'2", all part of the amazing (and torturously longwinded) plan to make my penis look even bigger than it actually is.

Notes that as he lives in the UK having temperature variation deviating from "wet" is something to dance a jig about. Starts dancing jig. Looks outside. Hopes dashed, returns to cup of tea.

Lends gramschmidt's stock of love to schyler523 in the hopes that this may assist in anyway.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:08:52 -0800

Whoa, so I lose psychic love just for being a realist?!?

Damn, it's like the time I got kicked out of the Creation Museum at the Institute for Creation Research by demonstrating the impossibility of the Noachian flood to the docent.

No, man, in all seriousness, your situation sucks. But you're only four weeks away, you say?

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:11:45 -0800

Explains to longbaugh that there is no use sending love his way quite yet, as he is very likely to squander it...decides to quote lyrics that approximate his feelings but never quite get the actual feeling...

The Death of Ferdinand de Saussure

I met Ferdinand de Saussure
On a night like this
On love he said
"I'm not so sure
I even know what it is
No understanding
No closure
It is a nemesis
You can't use a bulldozer
To study orchids"

He said...
So we don't know anything
You don't know anything
I don't know anything
about love
But we are nothing
You are nothing
I am nothing
Without love

I'm just a great composer
And not a violent man
But I lost my composure
And I shot Ferdinand
Crying "it's well and kosher
to say you don't understand
but this is for Holland-Dozier-Holland"

His last words were
We don't know anything

His fading words were
We don't know anything

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:13:16 -0800

Notes that weather in Iceland is grey today. Yesterday was lovely - a balmy 59F! There's summer for you!

Resents living within spitting distance of the arctic circle.

So, longbaugh : what's your visa deal? I'm American, my husband's Icelandic, and I'm in the middle of green-card-o-rama.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:28:42 -0800

*wakes up on lawn AGAIN, covered in ketchup, but no dead pensioners or mules, just an empty Wonder Woman costume - fears I've missed something*

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 09:53:49 -0800

Here's your Southland* Weather from the WendellWeather Patrol Double Doppler Satellite SkyWatcher StormTracker Meterological Global WendellWarming HD 3D Climate Center in North Hollywood...

It was over 59F at 7AM with overcast/low clouds due to our local Weather WonderTwins, Catalina Eddy and Offshore Flo, clearing by 11AM and going up to a High of 76F Downtown (where nobody is**), 71F at the Beaches (where everybody goes) and 84F in the (gagmewithaspoon) Valley (where everybody goes back to after the Beach)

0% chance of rain, 100% chance of earthquake aftershocks in Anza, which is 30 miles farther east than that Chino place they always talk about on The OC. And yes, I felt the earthquake.

*what we call the Los Angeles metropolitan area, having nothing to do with the Real Southern region of the U.S., about which we know little and wish to know less
**does not apply to scody and the other MeFites in Southern California who are much cooler than Wendell

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:08:47 -0800

grapefruitmoon, I apologize for dedicating your eponymous song to scody. I was just trying to stir up trouble.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:10:15 -0800

I meant to toss this in during the Song Lyrics Festival last night...

Let's dedicate this one to MetaFilter...

THIS MUST BE THE PLACE (NAIVE MELODY)

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - burn with a weak heart
(So I) guess I must be having fun
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground
Head in the sky
It´s ok I know nothing´s wrong . . nothing

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you´re standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up + say goodnight . . . say goodnight

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I´m already there
I come home - -she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place
I can´t tell one from another
Did I find you, or you find me?
There was a time Before we were born
If someone asks, this where I´ll be . . . where I´ll be

Hi yo We drift in and out
Hi yo sing into my mouth
Out of all tose kinds of people
You got a face with a view
I´m just an animal looking for a home
Share the same space for a minute or two
And you love me till my heart stops
Love me till I´m dead
Eyes that light up, eyes look through you
Cover up the blank spots
Hit me on the head Ah ooh

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:12:52 -0800

EARTHQUAKE!!1!!1!!1

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:16:28 -0800

He blowes it east, he blowes it west,
He blowes it where he lyketh best.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:27:48 -0800

Eh, if I was going to stir up trouble, I'd get a bigger spoon.

(I'm not entirely sure what I mean by this.)

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:40:36 -0800

The Kultivator album Bardomens Stigar is worthy of its reputation as a lost Canterbury/zeuhl classic.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:42:51 -0800

We're never going to make 1074

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:50:23 -0800

According to the archive page, qwert, your comment was 1075. HA!

That said we'll never make 1076.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:54:37 -0800

I thought it was 1073. Damn. But ha! that means you posted 1076. Haha - so you were wrong. wrong. wrong. wrong. haha

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 11:00:40 -0800

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 11:03:41 -0800

Is there any chance we could make it to 2525?
What would be the chances of man still being alive? Could woman survive?

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 11:25:21 -0800

Worst.
Song.
Of.
The.
Next.
600.
Years.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 11:25:47 -0800

Is there any chance we could make it to 2525?

Well, I quit my job a couple of weeks ago because I just couldn't stand it anymore. Anyway, as of the 30th June I will be unemployed so I'll lots of time to come in here and do a Jim Jones

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 11:57:11 -0800

wendell only says that because he has forgotten to set the alarm to take his happiness pill in 3535...

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 12:09:30 -0800

Someone should make this better.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 12:13:05 -0800

Pretentious post proclaiming this entire thread an excercise in dadaism.

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 12:24:53 -0800

Post proclaiming goodnesfortheinsane's mom an exercise in dadaism.

Short, sharp amused exclamation! Announcement of having "zinged" goodnewsfortheinsane!

"Zing!"

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 12:50:18 -0800

You could say it started out as all sun and games. You should have seen them, these proud young bloggers, riding in on their trusty steeds, clad in wonderful sequined robes.... did someone just put that Postal Service record on? Most can't tell if it's playing anymore, it's permanently carved onto their cortexes. Es. Xes. Exes.

Ha - I was just scraping the mildew off of my grapheme applicette when someone complained about the preview button being sticky. Little did they know that the translucent goo was in fact - suddenly, a voice cried: "Nobody ever said there was a cabal!"

Then the most gruesome thing happened. And the crowd went mild.

Many wandered off to work or play or whatever - we couldn't see them leave, but their absence was telling. After the smoke cleared, there were [unintelligible] strewn everywhere. Me, I'd rather have a pancake. Meanwhile a flock of uniformed cleaner-uppers appeared as if out of nothing. I think they were from 14K, or at least that's what the suits said. They looked kinda scruffy. Zing, indeed. Were we dreaming? Regardless, she said:

Something old, something new, something double-posted, to the blue.

I was discussing Leif Ericson with this giant woman, reaching for the quoriform clargue, no wait, the slonder barse.... it was too late. It all faded to grey.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 12:58:01 -0800

Poster makes a lame-duck dadaist post about running into the thread buck naked carrying a live chicken, a bucket full of prawns and an original, flaking copy of Issac Newton's supposed "rape manual" while whispering something about radioactive teeth.

Poster then posts about calmly and mundanely donning an impeccable Brooks Brothers suit, highly polished wingtips, a power tie, and walking quietly out of the thread.

By: elwoodwiles

elwoodwiles — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 12:58:17 -0800

Expresses disbelief that people are still here. Explains that a tab was left open in browser and was just now discovered. Contemplates over a cup of coffee and underneath a headache associated with last night's libations.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:23:33 -0800

Explains that a tab was left open in browser and was just now discovered.

An example of web micro-archaeology. Or: how Firefox saved teh 9622v2.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:40:51 -0800

Is there any chance we could make it to 2525?

If man is still alive...

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:44:35 -0800

Poster whose name sounds like a hamburger chain's brother wonders if it's time to declare MeTa9622 Taglines!

MetaTalk 9622: And the crowd went mild.
MetaTalk 9622: Something old, something new, something double-posted, to the blue.
MetaTalk 9622: We're never going to make n
MetaTalk 9622: It's permanently carved onto their cortexes. Es. Xes. Exes.
MetaTalk 9622: Short, sharp amused exclamation!
MetaTalk 9622: If I was going to stir up trouble, I'd get a bigger spoon.

*tries to hand off baton to somebody.... ANYBODY...*

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:00:02 -0800

Hey, if I get 3 out of 6 taglines, I ain't complainin'.

*wanders off to fry some ferrets*

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:07:48 -0800

We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it

Cause there's a million better threads
With a million better posters
Writers who can spell
Posters who can post

Deep in my heart
I do believe
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it

Cause we don't have the talent
And we don't have the time
We don't have the patience
And we don't know how to rhyme

Deep in my heart
I do believe
We're not gonna make it
Oh, no!
We're not gonna make it

No, no, no, no, no, no
We're not gonna make it!

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:25:26 -0800

And another 9622v2 theme song:

The Mefite Has Been Drinkin'

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:28:30 -0800

Whoooot. Glad to see I have a tagline.

*dances around*

Glad to see I don't have anything else to say... hrmmmm...

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:34:22 -0800

This baked potato's lost some steam.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:38:52 -0800

I hereby claim this thread and all its riches for myself and my descendants.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 14:46:54 -0800

Ah, so the Hat will do 9622v2 - the Book!

This posts is © its original author.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:01:10 -0800

Dibs on 9622v2, the Animated Series...

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:03:15 -0800

I hereby claim languagehat and all his descendants, and any riches that may accrue to them, for myself and my descendants.

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:06:42 -0800

Notes that the thread loads much faster when you set your browser not to retreive images.

By: ubersturm

ubersturm — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:07:14 -0800

Blinks. Repeatedly.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:30:20 -0800

wait a minute, this thread has riches?

*massacres natives and claims thread in the name of....Ireland. They could use it*

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:52:04 -0800

This baked potato's lost some steam.

...Ireland. They could use it

Am I seeing a pattern?

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:18:21 -0800

Well, rather more modestly I'm claiming one of the 9622v2 taglines. But then I've never been a particularly ambitious individual.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:26:15 -0800

*On reflection realises that he has to share the 'we'll never make it to n' tagline with about 30 other people*

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:32:01 -0800

gives qwerty155 pep talk. Tells him you must be greedy to get along in USA...oh, wait... he's not?

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:41:15 -0800

9622v2, the Animated Series...

Now! In Graymation!

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:45:52 -0800

Tells him you must be greedy to get along in USA...oh, wait... he's not?

Not... greedy? Not getting along? What?

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:48:06 -0800

gives ~~qwerty155~~ 9622v2 pep talk. Tells ~~him~~ it you must be ~~greedy~~ posting a lot to ~~get along in USA...~~ break the soon-not-so-legendary record.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:51:03 -0800

Paging casu marzu... could you give us an update?

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:55:57 -0800

oh, and: qwerty155 - you still here?

(overdue acknowledgement)

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:11:54 -0800

Am I seeing a pattern?

*bangs goodnewsfortheinsane with silleleagh*

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:32:54 -0800

Ouch, mcjon, you hit gnfti right in the blarney stones...
or the shamrocks...
or the lucky charms...

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:35:43 -0800

Did you mean: shillelagh?

</google>

BTW don't you just luuurve the word "bludgeon"? I do.

The word, you know, not the act.

Top o' the day to you, sir.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:40:45 -0800

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:44:57 -0800

Demands that all depictions of her in "Son of 9622 : The Movie" be wearing a Viking helmet.

Requests to be played by Scarlett Johansson.

Votes for "S" - I like things that I said.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:50:25 -0800

Get off my ass you wee bitty fuck
If I pull out the claymore you’re shit outta luck
Who’s that girl, that pretty young thing
After I fuck her she’ll get up and sing

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

Down to the pub for a two shilling ale
The bread on the counter is going stale
If I don’t get some fresh bread soon
Gonna punch you in your face and bark at the moon

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

Ain’t got no girl ’cuz I haven’t the time
Got too many other things on me mind
Patty was nice she was pale and cute
But I threw her away like an old piece of fruit

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

Got ooze in my pores my feet are all wet
Got mold in my ears but I ain’t dead yet
Got stones in me bladder got a crack in me head
When patty starts cryin’ this is what I said

Aye aye aye -- sharpen your boot, and bludgeon your eye
Aye aye aye -- the blarney stone brings a tear to me eye

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 17:59:55 -0800

Well, it was the line now known as "A" that first prompted me to start the Tagline ball rolling, but "T" is so good too, I'll just vote for T & A...

prepares for severe slapping by every MeFiFemme with fish formerly kept in quonsarpants

By: yhbc

yhbc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:04:57 -0800

Observes that potatoes are funny, but not as funny as monkeys.
Although, it is a lot easier to dress them up with engineer's caps and cigars!

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:44:01 -0800

nobody understands MY potato!

muses about the quote about not pleasing everybody all the time...

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:46:08 -0800

Potatoes also have more eyes than monkeys. Especially if you gouge out the monkey's eyes with a melonballer.

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:48:26 -0800

That's because potatoes don't have any monkeys, ColdChef.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 18:56:48 -0800

*slaps wendell with nearest fish. notes that sardines are not very effective weapons.*

By: yhbc

yhbc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 19:24:57 -0800

Points out that * action asterisks * aren't really necessary in a thread in which the third person is already established as the default mode.

Or maybe not.

* whacks grapefruitmoon upside the head with a trout he had saved for just such an occasion *

By: kenko

kenko — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 19:32:47 -0800

Points out that trout are delicious and should not be used for such purposes.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 19:36:36 -0800

Porpoises?

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 20:05:36 -0800

Hey people, did anyone see an eagle skin wallet laying around here?

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 20:23:33 -0800

dolphin lundgren is in some great speedo movies this summer...namely, Mang with a Porpoise, and Flipper: the Turning...

By: yhbc

yhbc — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 20:33:32 -0800

IIHAA: Did it have a $100 bill in it, serial number CF 12930871 B?

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 21:57:07 -0800

Holy shit...The Beatles nail it yet again...I give up now...fuck this...

~Your day breaks, your mind aches
You find that all the words of kindness linger on
When she no longer needs you

She wakes up, she makes up
She takes her time and doesn’t feel she has to hurry
She no longer needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

You want her, you need her
And yet you don’t believe her when she said her love is dead
You think she needs you

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

You stay home, she goes out
She says that long ago she knew someone but now he’s gone
She doesn’t need him

Your day breaks, your mind aches
There will be time when all the things she said will fil your head
You won’t forget her

And in her eyes you see nothing
No sign of love behind the tears
Cried for no one
A love that should have lasted years!

By: drezdn

drezdn — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 22:01:42 -0800

Did you guys know Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes, apparently they're in love.

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Sun, 12 Jun 2005 22:39:49 -0800

Votes for "S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat" as only tag that can be understood by the casual reader.
And here is some goodnewsfortheinsane: you can click on a user name and see his profile. Surprised? Find out all you need to know abut qwerty155.
Who are Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes? Have they been in the gossip columns?

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 02:37:06 -0800

Points out in semi-Luddite fashion that the knowledge of Tom Cruise and Katy Holmes dating may well be something that would require a TV to know.

Subtly lays on hints that he doesn't own a TV which makes him (on calculation) approximately 1.38% cooler than thou.

Sits back on spinny chair and grins to himself in self satisfaction, like a cat that got the cream with special cat-opium in it.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 03:25:49 -0800

Nurses trout shaped bruise without the aid of action asterisks.

Tries to find a way to explain this to friends.
"Are you having troubles at home? That's such an odd shape. Is it a... fish?"
"I can't really talk about it."

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 03:36:35 -0800

U MetaTalk 9622: Where the third person is the default mode

Notes, without use of asterisks that after many years of lurking and the odd hit-and-run post here and there, 9622v2 contains more references to ole qwerty by other members than the rest of metafilter put together.

Due to this qwerty forgets new standard regarding action asterisks and *does little dance*

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 03:49:24 -0800

*acknowledges acknowledment*

Also acknowledges peptalk and attempts to explain that he is sufficiently ungreedy to succeed in the UK, let alone the USA

I don't think my office cow-orkers appreciated the little dance either. I think I may need to get down off the desk and at least pretend to do some work.

From their looks I think their main objection is that the nipple tassles clashed with the thong.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 06:25:18 -0800

Yeah, that's the one, yhbc. Did you see the note on the back in purple lipstick? That's for you. You can keep the Ben Franklin, I just need that old condom back.

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 06:25:52 -0800

Looks around like a new member and wonders if it is okay to post exactly the same joke again, since no-one "LOL"d at it the first time, figures that $5 is too high a margin for the price of eternal humiliation and bites his tongue.

Wishes it was like on other community forums where even really shitty jokes are acknowledged, even if it is with just "STFU n00b" and several hundred lines of shite and animated GIFs.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 06:33:21 -0800

STFU, oldie.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 06:54:58 -0800

You know, I thought that was awfully funny-tasting gum.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:00:18 -0800

DISCLAIMER:
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events or performance are not statements of historical fact and may be
"FORWARD looking statements."F0RWARD looking statements are based on
expectations, estimates and projections at the time the statements are
made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause
actual results or events to differ materially from those presently
anticipated. FORWARD looking statements in this Sex Action may be
identified
through the use of words such as "projects", "foreskin", "expects",
"will," "anticipates," "estimates," "believes," "understands" or
that by
statements indicating certain Sex Actions "may," "could," or "might" occur.
As with many micro-cap ST0CKS, today's company has additional risk
factors worth noting. Those factors include: a limited operating
history,
the company advancing cash to related parties and a shareholder on an
unsecured basis: one vendor, a related party through a majority
stockholder, supplies ninety-seven percent of the company's raw
materials:
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numerous related party transactions and the need to raise capital.
These
factors and others are more fully spelled out in the company's SEC
filings. We urge you to read the filings before you invest. The 9622v2
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necessary
to make the statements therein not misleading. All information
provided within this thread pertaining to investing, ST0CKS, securities
must be
understood as information provided and not investment advice. The
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this report shall be construed as any kind of investment advice or
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You
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Subscribers should not view information herein as legal, tax,
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Remember, as always, past performance is never indicative of future
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compliance
with the Securities Sex Act of 1933, Section 17(b), The 9622v2 STOCK Report
discloses the receipt of twelve thousand D0LLARS from a third party
(GEMDOLLS,Inc.), not an officer, director or affiliate shareholder for
the
circulation of this report. GEMDOLLS, Inc. has a position in the ST0CK
they
will sell at any time without notice. Be aware of an inherent conflict
of interest resulting from such compensation due to the fact that this
is a paid advertisement and we are conflicted. All factual information
in this report was gathered from public sources, including but not
limited to Company Websites, SEC Filings and Company Press Releases.
The
9622v2 ST0CK Report believes this information to be reliable but can
make
no guarantee as to its accuracy or completeness. Use of the material
within this thread constitutes your acceptance of these terms.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:09:09 -0800

Dude, no f'in way! Did you swallow it or spit it out? Where? I need that thing back.

By: gen

gen — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:34:52 -0800

V MetaTalk 9622: the nipple tassles clashed with the thong

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:37:01 -0800

I don't think my office cow-orkers appreciated the little dance either.

*You* work at a *cow orkery*? Stop the cruelty!

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:38:50 -0800

*backspaces action asterisks*

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:50:52 -0800

....aaaaaaaand, scene!

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:11:53 -0800

This isn't one of those "rainbow parties" is it? Because I don't think my parents would approve if it is.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:15:24 -0800

*settles into the corner for a badly needed nap*

By: kenko

kenko — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:29:40 -0800

I don't like Windows.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:35:55 -0800

Hey, goodnewsfortheinsane, what's wrong with a bit of orkery. Those cows love it. They might pretend they don't. But they do.

Newsflash: just to cheer you all up: Firefox fans too frumpy for Beautifulpeople.net

By: languagehat

languagehat — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:36:37 -0800

Votes for "S MetaTalk 9622: That's not MY longboat" because grapefruitmoon is just so darn irresistible.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:39:01 -0800

mumbling something about tired... catching up.. glad to see valiant effort.. worn out just reading... *unintelligible*

zzzZZZzzz...

By: dial-tone

dial-tone — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 08:55:27 -0800

Obligatory plea to go easy on me as this is my first comment ever.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:05:32 -0800

Obligatory plea to go easy on me as I just paid $5 to be part of TEH. BESTEST. THRED. EVAR.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:06:44 -0800

Oh dear. Did I just riff on a newbie? What has become of me?

Welcome dial-tone!

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:07:57 -0800

Cool, so now we have a prize for the author of the tagline voted most likely to suceed => can claim dial-tone's cherry.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:09:49 -0800

Not that I will not also claim it when convenient, like when speaking to MILF's in the grocery checkout.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:16:39 -0800

Speaking of the vote: I gotta go "H Circle-jerking narcissists parodying the way they talk about themselves." But I think my district uses Diebold machines so I'm sure it'll be tallied as "MY longboat." That tally is so whack.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:21:25 -0800

Wow. You read all of that to make THIS your first comment? At least it's historic. Welcome, dial-tone to "Son of 9622 : That's not MY longboat."

(also is flattered by being found irresistable by such a respected member of the community as languagehat.)

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:24:13 -0800

There's definitely a Diebold machine/longboat connection, but I can't reveal the specifics... not here anyway. Too many people looking. Meet me behind the warehouse at midnight and then we'll talk.

By: kenko

kenko — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:37:06 -0800

Would meet grapefruitmoon behind midnight warehouses any day of the week.

By: dial-tone

dial-tone — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 09:52:28 -0800

Be gentle.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 10:08:19 -0800

kenko : How about Thursday? Is Thursday good for you?

By: Tarrama

Tarrama — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 10:19:05 -0800

Some have cameras.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 11:03:51 -0800

The Tao of Lazloism: "it aint no grilled cheese sandwich".

The End.

By: kenko

kenko — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 11:59:06 -0800

Some have cameras. Some achieve cameras. And some have cameras thrust upon them.

Grapefruit, Thursday's great. I'll be wearing a brown felt bowler.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:24:19 -0800

w00t, deep throat behind the warehouse! Diebold going down from a sizzling exposé! My Woodward in full effect! Etc!

I know she's just campaigning for her tagline, but what do I care? She's seen Björk naked.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:30:28 -0800

Expresses disappointment that his bait for a tallywacker joke remains unbitten three hours later. Wiggles the line a little.

By: dial-tone

dial-tone — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:48:52 -0800

I vote for longboats, but that's partially because grapefruitmoon rhymes with swoon if you know what I mean.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 12:51:33 -0800

*sigh*
*takes own bait (as usual).*

So a priest, a merchant and a tallywhacker were attending Jesus H. God's Brit Milah.

The priest says "Bring the poor child some soma, for heaven's sake."

The merchant says "No, bring that boy some ExxonMobil Supreme!"

The tallywhacker thinks for a moment, then exclaims "I'd like to open a discussion on the seemingly growing trend of new users choosing a phrase as a username. My opinion of these username choices is _____. My suggestion to Matt is _____."

*Removes hook from cheeks.*
*Hope it at least cured his potty mouth.*

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 13:44:10 -0800

Isn't that the second time Kevin has declared the end of this thread?

By: gramschmidt

That was part of my ill-defined list of stupid comments.

By: dial-tone

dial-tone — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 17:28:50 -0800

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 17:36:57 -0800

Can't be bothered to read adminstrative posts. Too busy planning secret warehouse activities and polishing longboat.

Further notes that THIS MESS is taking an awfully long time to load on her small orange computer. Vows not to abandon ship in the face of mounting technological pressure.

By: kenko

kenko — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:01:23 -0800

Notes that, due to own stupidity and clumsiness, must now re-sharpen the knife he sharpened not one week ago.

States that he finds sharpening knives nerve-wracking for fear he will damage the edge.

By: kenko

kenko — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:20:22 -0800

Returns from knife-sharpening and observes that there's little like the sight of ground wet steel against the shine of a new blade.

"A few poetic regrets, if adroitly placed, are as becoming to a woman as gossamer hair in the moonlight"
—Celine

By: kenko

kenko — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 18:21:43 -0800

TODD:
These are my friends,
See how they glisten.
See this one shine,
How he smiles in the light,
My friends,
My faithful friends...

Speak to me, friend.
Whisper, I'll listen.
I know, I know
You've been locked out of sight
All these years!
Like me, my friend!
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting!
Home,
And we're together...
And we'll do wonders...
Won't we...?

[Simultaneously, for rest of song]
TODD:
You there, my friend,
Come, let me hold you.
Now, with a sigh,
You grow warm
In my hand...
My friend,
My clever friend...
LOVETT:
I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd.
If you only knew, Mr. Todd.
Ooh, Mr. Todd,
You're warm
In my hand...
You've come home...
Always had a fondness for you,
I did.

TODD:
Rest now, my friends.
Soon I'll unfold you.
Soon you'll know splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days,
My lucky friends.
Till now your shine
Was merely silver.
Friends,
You shall drip rubies,
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies...
LOVETT:
Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
You can move in here
Mr. Todd. Splendors
You never have dreamed
All your days
Will be yours!
I'm your friend,
And you're mine!
Don't they shine beautiful?
Silver's good enough for me,
Mr. T...

By: kenko

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:11:05 -0800

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:14:08 -0800

STOP POSTING IMAGES, MAN! THEY BRING RE-LOADS TO A CRAWL, and everybody's already set their browsers to not load images anyway, so you're just wanking.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:18:59 -0800

Wise observation consisting of the following:

Qué onda, guero?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 04:20:07 -0800

"That's more of a query than an observation, my friend."

"Sure. Do you have any gum?"

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 05:13:10 -0800

See's own name whenever longboat is written. Gets alternatively scared/aroused. Finds this troubling. Moves to Scandinavia where can cover this up by feigning Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Wishes that more scandinavian ladies would get aboard "longbaugh's longboat". Get's lil' longbaugh pierced so it looks like it is wearing a Viking helmet.

Thinks maybe he's gone too far this time...

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 05:29:36 -0800

Goes to look up "malef...something something mast curd" in dictionary. Forgot what it was already.

Decides it means "AWESOME" and moves on.

Apologies to longbaugh for all this longboat nonsense. Wishes him luck with the ladiez.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 06:18:22 -0800

That's right mascara snake!!!

Fast and bulbous!

Never apologize, never explain, grapefruitmoon.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 06:24:44 -0800

Oh my God I just administered alcohol to a miner.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 06:36:09 -0800

Good advice, languagehat.

Would like to note that while I can offer apologies, I couldn't possibly explain THIS MESS. Explanations are much harder to come by these days.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 06:56:37 -0800

What?!!? One of these?? Why??!?!

By: raedyn

raedyn — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 07:30:16 -0800

Registers 9622v2.org. - drezdn

LIAR!

By: raedyn

raedyn — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 07:32:52 -0800

Poster is tempted to register 9622v2.net in an attempt to start unjustified 9622v2 website rivalry.- qwerty155

*is amused at the prospect*

*hopes for much hilarty*

*expects the more likely outcome that there isn't enough of us still following THIS MESS to sustain two sites and a rivalry between them*

*hopes scody is on my team*

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 08:37:29 -0800

Pedantically tells raedyn that it should be "aren't enough of us", and longbaugh that it should be "sees". Digs trench and waits for languagehat to tear him a new one. Sits in trench for a few days before realizing that he is a worthless target compared to the likes of William Safire.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 08:37:55 -0800

THIS HAS BEEN OUR CLOSING NOTICE

We have sought to speak to you on many periods and the time to return your reponse is now!

Your present home loan certifies you for up to a 3.60% lower rate.

However, since our previous attempts to speak to you have failed,
this will be our last effort to gain for you the lower rate.

Please conclude this final step upon receiving this notice immediately,and complete your request for information now.

Submission Here.

If your decision is not to make use of this final offer going here will help you to do so.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:01:48 -0800

[chorus 2x]
My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

I know you row it,
It's my fez that makes me,
What the gals go crazy for.
They lose their oars,
When my tassle soars,
Felt kitch emblem scores

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Iceland's next.
Lala-lalala,
The gals are waiting

My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

I can see you're on it,
You want me to teach thee
Techniques that max your ergs,
It can't be bought,
Just know, short boats get caught,
Watch if your smart,

[Chorus x2]
La la-la la la,
Iceland's next.
La la-la la la,
The gals are waiting,

My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

Oh, once you get on board,
Everyone will row this way-so,
You must not use just your arms,
Same time use hams and back,
Just get the perfect blend,
Plus what you have within,
Then next you keep the pace,
That's what will win this race,

[Chorus x2]
Lala-lalala,
Iceland's next.
Lala-lalala,
The gals are waiting,

My longboat brings all the girls to the thread,
And they're like
It's bigger than yours,
Damn right it's bigger than yours,
I can seat ten,
But I have to charge

you're right. I got nothin'

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:04:04 -0800

Humble apology for posting bastardized earwig. Confession that this song seems to run on a continuous loop in poster's head. Sincere plea for help.

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:19:10 -0800

Ooh, is it too late to have a parade? As a donkey, I would love to drive a riding mower through the suburbs, mowing inappropriate slogans into water-hogging status symbol lawns. And as a Nice donkey, I would still like to invite schyler, despite his history with mules.

*Wonders to self if it is precisely because of his history with mules that nice donkey wants to invite schyler. Feels all conflicted and trots off.*

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:20:40 -0800

Apologizes to wendell for breaking two rulez in a row in previous post. Wonders if maybe two wrongs make a right.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:27:49 -0800

Deletion of long rant about the differences between donkeys and mules. Notation that this is a Nice Donkey after all. Call to organize parade in Nice Donkey's honor. Poster pledges to recruit area Shriners with tiny cars.

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:30:18 -0800

Realizes that apology to wendell was made from somewhere outside of THIS MESS, as poster had trotted off in previous-previous post. Feels a little dizzy. Decides to go off in search of sugar cubes to quell aching head.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:32:59 -0800

Sodomizes Nice Donkey.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:35:10 -0800

Issues apologies all 'round. Explains that THIS MESS has had an effect on him.

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:35:14 -0800

Fezboy! Help, help!

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:38:05 -0800

Expresses satisfaction with Kenko's apology. Invites kenko to the parade.

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 09:42:45 -0800

Notes that donkeys and mules are different, indeed. Explains that half-brother is a mule so that any concerns about species-ism are alleviated.

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:08:15 -0800

Hands sugar cubes to Nice Donkey.

Starts polishing Viking helmet in preparation for parade.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:16:05 -0800

Expression of confusion over whether poster should come to Nice Donkey's aid. Clown car full of off-duty police who are Shriners summoned. Indictment of kenko's acts of sodomy filed with proper authorities. Jury selection for media circus celebrity trial begun.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:37:36 -0800

Tries to explain in a convincing way to Nice Donkey that he has quit drinking, and therefore will be sodomizing nothing in the near future...

**assumes segue voice from Boyz II Men**
~Im sorry baby, you know I love you, It won't happen again baby doll...
Let me tell you 'bout this love thang...~
**reassumes boring schyler voice**

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:47:40 -0800

Subpeona filed for schyler523's appearance as expert witness in the realm of equus sodomy despite protestations of reform.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:49:21 -0800

media titters over latest development in the kenko trial

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:56:04 -0800

Lowers head and covers face with hands to avoid reporters' cameras and infamy brought therewith. Issues press release reiterating apology and referencing abuse by donkeys in troubled youth.

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 10:57:40 -0800

Rumors abound that Nice Donkey may be bought off in a settlement involving LOTS of sugar cubes, and a ride in that little shriners car. No comment from Nice Donkey.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:08:59 -0800

Notes that flight of rumors is causing increased media prominence for his demerara import business and an increase in stock price; reflects that donkey-sodomy may not have been a bad business move.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:10:19 -0800

Prosecutors present case in kenko trial. Talking heads question efficacy of Nice Donkey's testimony. Some people say Nice Donkey is a grifter who's only interested in promoting itself a lifetime supply of sugar cubes. . . and maybe a ride on a little Shriner car

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:10:39 -0800

Reads press statement with amusement that suggests that Kenko plans to change his behaviour in the future and will not be so 'kind hearted', 'make himself vulnerable' or 'sleep' with Nice Donkeys anymore.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:12:28 -0800

Taking advantage of kenko's distraction by reporters, tears him a new one.

Hands Nice Donkey some sugar cubes, which he will realize too late were laced with acid.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:15:01 -0800

media titters further

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:23:56 -0800

An aside to recommend kenko's comment for a
.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:25:57 -0800

Notes ruefully as he steps out the courthouse a free and fully not-guilty that it's the Nice-Seeming Donkeys who always try to get you, but lord willing the worst that comes out of it is a hand-torn new one (with leather interior!).

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:27:23 -0800

Amends above to read "a free and fully not-guilty man" where currently only "a free and fully not-guilty" appears.

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:39:01 -0800

While on an unexpected acid trip, Nice Donkey prepares for public battle to destroy kenko's pop-star image, such as it is:

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:56:54 -0800

Adds cranberry to enemies list at Nemester.
Makes plans.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 11:58:02 -0800

Girds self for epic battle: the shins to self with greaves, the wide back to self (sufficient for fifty fifties to play handball against) with mail, the neck to self wide as a horse's with a gorget, the shoulders and upper arms to self thick as oaks with, you know, shoulder-and-upper-arm armor.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:02:19 -0800

Admires Nice Donkey's psychedelic self-portrait; steals with intent to use in greasemonkey script. (Provides link for the clueless)

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:04:42 -0800

HAY WENDELL AM I DOING THIS RITE?

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:06:10 -0800

Steals kenko's body armor and mails to nephew in the Army.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:10:30 -0800

Privately admits that he never really expected anybody to follow his rules; declares victory in the number of times posters have referred to "THIS MESS".

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:13:28 -0800

yes?

what.

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:20:09 -0800

Makes

By: deborah

deborah — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:21:03 -0800

note

By: deborah

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:37:12 -0800

The human is predisposed toward sleeping, and please become a member of the "Operation Band Together" movement by flying the National Christian Flag as a Wave Offering. The time is right for this dynamic concept. It will be effective when Christians for God and country boldly identify with Christ and each other by flying the U.S. National Christian Flag right under Old Glory to represent Christ as our foundation and Christian heritage.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:40:50 -0800

The act of kicking drezdn's ass / donkey is, therefore, the act of sodomizing kenko's Kantian or Friesian doctrine, from metaphysics to political economy and booming bass sound of late-'80s Miami hip-hop.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:42:30 -0800

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:43:19 -0800

Feeds kenko's "HAY" to Nice Donkey.

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:44:23 -0800

I'm pretty sure I can will my maxim of sodomizing any donkey I come across to be a universal law.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:44:23 -0800

Belated dedication to Kenko and schyler:

Molly be damned smote Jimmy the Harp
With a horrid little pistol and a lariat
She's goin to the bottom
And she's goin down the drain
Said she wasn't big enough to carry it

She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
She got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow

Choppity chop goes the axe in the woods
You gotta meet me by the fall down tree
Shovel of dirt upon a coffin lid
And I know they'll come lookin for me boys
And I know they'll come a-lookin for me

Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow
Got to get behind the Mule
In the morning and plow

Big Jack Earl was 8'1
He stood in the road and he cried
He couldn't make her love him
Couldn't make her stay
But tell the good Lord that he tried
(Chorus)
Dusty trail from Atchison to Placerville
On the wreck of the Weaverville stage
Beaula fired on Beatty for a lemonade
I was stirring my brandy with a nail boys
Stirring my brandy with a nail
(Chorus)
Well the rampaging sons of the widow James
Jack the cutter and the pock marked kid
Had to stand naked at the bottom
Of the cross
And tell the good lord what they did
Tell the good lord what they did
(Chorus)
Punctuated birds on the power line
In a Studebaker with the Birdie Joe Joaks
I'm diggin all the way to China
With a silver spoon
While the hangman fumbles with the noose, boys
The hangman fumbles with the noose
(Chorus)
Pin your ear to the wisdom post
Pin your eye to the line
Never let the weeds get higher
Than the garden
Always keep a sapphire in your mind
Always keep a diamond in your mind
(Chorus)

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 12:45:33 -0800

Wonders if he has made enough Tom Waits references yet...

By: kenko

By: kenko

kenko — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:25:49 -0800

Reminds grapefruitmoon of their Thursday night rendezvous.

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:28:06 -0800

Realization that perhaps some records are best left to the legends who set them.

Awww, hell. On my mark. Get set. Ready!? GOOO!!!!

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:47:05 -0800

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:48:09 -0800

clocks in. goes back to work.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:50:29 -0800

My baa-aa-aa-aad.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 13:53:27 -0800

Punches Fezboy's clock. Takes away his !, and returns it to the 'flag this post' function.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:02:08 -0800

Music and Medicine are two planets that revolve around the same sun. *Bong* *Bong*

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:42:03 -0800

sheepishly hands back the tiarra to AlexReynolds

Thanks, cutie!

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 14:47:26 -0800

At this rate we'll never make it to the 1000th post. I'm so disappointed in you fuckers. I wish you had never been born.

Hey, that's a nice tiara.

This thread took forever to load on my

By: bonaldi

bonaldi — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 17:35:12 -0800

Crossness at only just finding this damn thread owing to being away.

On preview: more crossness at time taken to reload whole thread just to post this

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 18:39:07 -0800

By: drezdn

drezdn — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 19:00:35 -0800

I less than three 9622v2.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 19:43:49 -0800

9622v2: A Meme is Born

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 20:56:57 -0800

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try,,,

(not going to quote any more of this song; I think we've all heard enough of it..)

By: killdevil

killdevil — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 21:41:31 -0800

By: killdevil

killdevil — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 21:43:12 -0800

By: killdevil

killdevil — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 21:58:55 -0800

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all convictions, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;
Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
Troubles my sight: somewhere in sands of the desert
A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know
That twenty centuries of stony sleep
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 22:03:32 -0800

Checks out 2269 but resists the urge to call anyone fuckwit.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 22:07:48 -0800

Poster slouches toward Bakersfield.

By: wendell

wendell — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 22:10:17 -0800

WendellFuckWit.com (self-link)

By: killdevil

killdevil — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 22:24:35 -0800

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 23:03:35 -0800

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 23:55:35 -0800

admires AlexReynolds' teeth

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Tue, 14 Jun 2005 23:58:03 -0800

playfully splashes wave of OceanSpray at wendell. Shrugs off threat of Nemester

By: AlexReynolds

AlexReynolds — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 00:23:53 -0800

thanks Cranberry for the opposable thumbs up

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:50:54 -0800

*pokes thread with stick*

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 03:52:14 -0800

*sees thread stirring but decides not to wake it. Steps back slowly*

By: grapefruitmoon

grapefruitmoon — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 05:26:41 -0800

Perhaps AlexReynolds would like a banana? And some floss?

By: killdevil

killdevil — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 05:45:05 -0800

Rubs eyes, searches for coffee. Sees that, like him, thread is ready to face a new day.

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 06:14:32 -0800

*ahem*
, tricks are for schmidty.

Geez for a bunch o' fun-lovin' kids who delight in overloading servers, Fark is sure an old anti-hotlinking fuddy-duddy. What are those gifs, like 200 bytes?

By: drezdn

Since there were as yet no answers, I hereby declare, uh, geez ... how about zegna -- zegna? Sure -- off the thread.

Beat it, ghosty.

By: qwerty155

qwerty155 — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 08:17:32 -0800

Anyway, glad you guys have finally turned up for work. Eight hours of playing Zuma have left me feeling rather twitchy with an awful case of RSI

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 08:18:11 -0800

Round 3:

Our mission is to protect America’s treasures for future generations, provide access to our nation’s natural and cultural heritage, offer recreation opportunities, honor our trust responsibilities to American Indians and Alaska Natives and our responsibilities to island communities, conduct scientific research, provide wise stewardship of energy and mineral resources, foster sound use of land and water resources, and conserve and protect fish and wildlife. The work that we do affects the lives of millions of people; from the family taking a vacation in one of our national parks to the children studying in one of our Indian schools.

Think now about the earlier analysis of what our position in the scheme of things will be if it turns out that we can create the next Big Bang.

If that analysis is on target, the scientific proof establishing this possibility as an attainable outcome will become the basis for a modern, compelling worldview that will invest broad educational achievement with the greatest meaning simply because having a functional role to create a new universe directly implies that we have to understand everything there is to know about his one. Such an emphasis on the pure pursuit of knowledge is exactly what we need as a purely practical matter to prevent us from sinking into political, economic, and social insignificance.

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 08:53:34 -0800

and the sun hit the derrick and cast a bat wing shadow

Is Tom Waits in the new Christopher Nolan film?

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 08:57:14 -0800

Oh, that's Dr. Hilton. His MetaTalk thread was great. Lemme grab it...

By: raedyn

raedyn — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 08:58:19 -0800

Another work day, another day wearing out the relaod button. I'm with ya kenko.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 09:01:13 -0800

It just occurred to me that my constant reloading of this page might make my semi-clandestine surfing habits more likely to come to the attention of some internal watchdog. I'm currently pondering the importance of the possibility, and weighing that against the importance of keeping up with THIS MESS - the longboat legend.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 09:23:57 -0800

Excellent!

Name Metafilter's own celebrity crank #2!
(As before, website + user. Hint: his thread was one of the most underrated bits of surreal Mefi comedy ever).

Re-Write "Articles"

Create Website Content "from scratch" That is absolutely unique, and nowhere else in the world!

Manipulate HTML, PHP, CSS, or any other web-language

Output to Any File Type

Write content in any western-character language

Generate "organic-looking", readable, content

Create completely random sub-linking from each page

Works with ANY affiliate program

Can create content that search engines can't WAIT to spider...

Remember: Not just "articles"! Your look. Your feel. YOUR HTML, PHP, ETC!
....and that means big-time profit potential for you!

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 11:49:30 -0800

9622bot, you make some interesting points and your argument is largely cogent. However, your analysis could perhaps benefit from a few sources you may have overlooked. Allow me to quote RAW:

Sometimes another gratifying football team reads a magazine, but the grizzly bear always shares a shower with some conspiracy toward a riot cop! Indeed, a hypnotic molotov cocktail tries to seduce an often Nietzchean tentacle. Indeed, an umbrella about an imitation plastic foreskin sanitizes the reactor. The alien gangster reaches an understanding with the yeti for a chain saw. Now and then, another fractured parking lot gives a pink slip to a dogmatically neurolinguistic Gurdjieff.

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 13:55:16 -0800

Sorry; that needs some size:

DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN
DAMN

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 13:56:49 -0800

Further apologies. Should have been:

DAMN

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 13:57:19 -0800

DAMN

By: killdevil

killdevil — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:00:30 -0800

Who here likes pancakes?

By: killdevil

killdevil — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:04:13 -0800

I like blueberry the best

By: killdevil

killdevil — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:06:28 -0800

But chocolate chip are pretty good too.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:07:28 -0800

My calculations (I downloaded the thread and grepped for 'div class="comment"') show that wendel's comment Unless we already have (damn static archive page) is the 1500th comment.

Just for the record. However, I suppose it depends on whether you want to count deleted comments (in which case, it's actually the 1501th comment).

By: gramschmidt

gramschmidt — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 14:08:36 -0800

ETC

By: killdevil

killdevil — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 21:37:11 -0800

By: geekyguy

geekyguy — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 21:45:20 -0800

I tried to click [GO]

By: drezdn

drezdn — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 22:10:54 -0800

Post pointing out that the poster enjoys pigs in a blanket but hasn't eaten them since he started his diet. Also, the poster wonders if Chota went to UWM ever?

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 22:38:54 -0800

Poster tries to pass "GO". Does not collect $200.

By: kenko

kenko — Wed, 15 Jun 2005 22:38:54 -0800

Asks gramschmidt for update re: world domination.

By: kenko

By: Nice Donkey

Nice Donkey — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 10:18:36 -0800

I'm sorry you haven't been able to enjoy pigs in a blanket, drezdn. Maybe you could enjoy this pug in a blanket, instead.

By: casu marzu

casu marzu — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 10:24:11 -0800

So, umm, they doesn't have any problem with this page?

I feel the Stat of the Day coming on!

Here you go:

cock appears 7 times
cunt appears 1 time (variant cuntface)
dick appears 3 times (variant dickhead)
fuck appears 60 times (inc. variations clusterfuck, fucked, fucker, fuckin', fucking, fuckwads, fuckwit, motherfucker, motherfuckin', starfucker, and wendellfuckwitcom)
pussy appears 2 times (inc. variant babypussy)
shit appears 22 times (inc. variations shithole, shitlist, shite)

the average time between comments starts to decrease as the number of comments approaches a number divisible by zero.

I first thought this was math fun, but now I'm thinking maybe you intended to say "divisible by 100"? Cause that would make some sense.

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 14:05:43 -0800

no offense to nice donkey, but wants pony. wishes every preview and post did not flip the whole thread back to beginning! thread now in 11th day my phone is ringing

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Thu, 16 Jun 2005 14:09:38 -0800

nice donkey, you too? my ex and i were in an elevator!

I started to sing "I feel the earth. move. under my feet."