PromUpdateFilter

June 6, 2005 5:44 PM

PromUpdateFilter: This post concludes my prom episode. Previously talked about here and sorta here. [MI]
posted by C17H19NO3 to MetaFilter-related at 5:44 PM (58 comments total)

About a week after she agreed to go with me, she told me that she couldn't go because her parents wouldn't let her. I thought this was kinda weird, with her being a junior and whatnot, but whatever. When I arrived at prom, guess who I saw...

A couple of my closest sources told me that she was asked out by someone else a little while after I asked her. She then lied to my face.

Needless to say, she completely avoided me that night. I wasn't really surprised.

The rest of the night sorta went downhill from there.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 5:44 PM on June 6, 2005

That's horrible, C17. You didn't deserve that.

If it's any consolation, as people they get older they get a teensy, tiny, itty, bitty bit more accountable for behavior like that. She'll probably feel pretty guilty about this for awhile if she has a conscience. Remember the best revenge is living well; go out and keeping meeting people, and know that you're better in the long run for not dating a dishonest, wishy-washy person.
posted by jenleigh at 5:50 PM on June 6, 2005

Also, remember that high school is pretty much the low point of life. It's all upside from there.
posted by mathowie at 6:00 PM on June 6, 2005

yo, at least you had hot sex on teh tanning beds, right?

no, seriously, morphine, don't feel bad -- stuff like that happens. you were totally smooth, you carried yourself very well from beginning to end. this time it ended badly, next time it won't. I'll bet on it. don't lose that sexy confidence at all cost.
:)
posted by matteo at 6:01 PM on June 6, 2005

oh, and I second Numero Uno on the high school thing. it shall pass, too
posted by matteo at 6:03 PM on June 6, 2005

Thanks matteo, mathowie and jenleigh.

Life is too short to let this get me down. I'm looking forward to a career in law enforcement, something that I am very into and is promising.

Hopefully I'll have better experiences in any MeFi meetups that I'll try to attend in the future ;-)
posted by C17H19NO3 at 6:09 PM on June 6, 2005

That's a bummer. man. Still, I feel it's safe to say you became the personal hero of many Mefites the day you laid it on the line and asked her out. So count that as a notch in your belt. And chalk the downside up to teenage insecurity on her part.
posted by nyterrant at 6:09 PM on June 6, 2005

Metafilter has a new kid brother!
posted by interrobang at 6:10 PM on June 6, 2005

that's why i didn't go to my prom, and also why i don't go outside unless absolutely needed.

*peaks out of window*
posted by puke & cry at 6:10 PM on June 6, 2005

(And, sorry this didn't work out.)
posted by interrobang at 6:10 PM on June 6, 2005

Watch out below! puke & cry is peaking!
posted by interrobang at 6:12 PM on June 6, 2005

Also, remember that high school is pretty much the low point of life. It's all upside from there.

That's for damn sure.

Although, Corporate America often emulates high school, so keep on your toes, young people.
posted by cmonkey at 6:52 PM on June 6, 2005

At some level you must find this deeply, richly, satisfying that you caught her out. I do, anyway. She knows that you know what a jerk she's been, and she won't be able to think of that night with any comfort at all, ever.

Meanwhile, for you, as others have said, given even five years, this will be just something that happened.
posted by orange swan at 6:57 PM on June 6, 2005

And remember, these are the best days of your life! Enjoy =)
posted by justgary at 7:00 PM on June 6, 2005

Seriously, when you reach the ripe old age of 20 and you're hanging out with some Sheila in the dorms late at night, you can play the prom story card (along with some sad, intense eye contact) to earn yourself some affection. The girl, on the other hand, will probably have to keep the story of the time she flaked out on you entirely to herself and it will just sit in her stomach like a hard black piece of coal for the rest of her life.
posted by Staggering Jack at 7:22 PM on June 6, 2005

when you reach the ripe old age of 20 and you're hanging out with some Sheila in the dorms late at night, you can play the prom story card

Learn to play the guitar and guys like me (the kind who steal prom dates) will curse you as they walk home alone.
posted by Kwantsar at 7:35 PM on June 6, 2005

*fondles football trophy and caresses high school year book*

Gawd, I looked so good at 17 and could go all night -- and I did, boy did I ever go all night. Now, I'm trimming nose hair and having lengthy internal debates about the advisability of drinking soda after 10PM.

Don't let 'em fool you, morphine. They are all deluded and in denial, it doesn't get any better.
posted by cedar at 7:59 PM on June 6, 2005

But the real question is, who did you wind up going with?
posted by FlamingBore at 8:02 PM on June 6, 2005

So did you go to prom with someone else or by yourself? It doesn't really matter, but I'm just trying to complete the visualization here.
posted by Witty at 8:05 PM on June 6, 2005

They are all deluded and in denial, it doesn't get any better.
Word.
posted by dg at 8:34 PM on June 6, 2005

i'm guessing no one, otherwise he would have mentioned that he got another date. that would be kind of important.
posted by puke & cry at 8:58 PM on June 6, 2005

Hey, you overcame an internal obstacle, took the risk, and asked her.

And even though she flaked on you, you still went.

And what a clueless jerk she turned out to be! What did she think? That you would just stay home sulking because she didn't go with you? She definitely was in the wrong, owes you a groveling apology, and has generated serious bad karma for herself.

But hey - you got spared a relationship with a rude shallow lying coward who has no consideration for others. She may be hot, but she's obviously not worth your time.
posted by jasper411 at 9:14 PM on June 6, 2005

Hell I got played too. Girl wanted to come, thought she liked me, turns out she didn't, major awkwardness followed, went alone. I really don't care about it now but it made me feel like a big fat loser then.

She just starred in a Woody Allen movie.

I still don't care.
posted by Bdave at 9:32 PM on June 6, 2005

"She may be hot, but she's obviously not worth your time."

Read what you just said.

That's it, your out of the club.
posted by cedar at 9:35 PM on June 6, 2005

Ouch! But it's her loss.
posted by Carbolic at 9:36 PM on June 6, 2005

This will all be in your novel someday.
posted by interrobang at 9:44 PM on June 6, 2005

In my personal experience, all the cool people I know have a story about how much their prom sucked. If you get me drunk I'll tell you mine.
posted by drezdn at 10:14 PM on June 6, 2005

*plies drezdn with Boones Farm Apple wine*
posted by taz at 11:11 PM on June 6, 2005

orange swan : "At some level you must find this deeply, richly, satisfying that you caught her out. I do, anyway. She knows that you know what a jerk she's been, and she won't be able to think of that night with any comfort at all, ever."

What she said, twice.

That girl is a fucking asshole. You're better off without her.

Well done on the going out on a limb, though. Very few people ever really do that.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:19 PM on June 6, 2005

At the very least, she showed her true colors early and before a real investment of time and emotional energy on your part. Know this as well: you have spectacularly outclassed her twice over in overcoming your fear/shyness and then in not letting it keep you home. That's character and that's what ladies of substance who are worth your time and affection are going to find absolutely irresistible about you. Trust me on that.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 11:43 PM on June 6, 2005

And remember, these are the best days of your life!

Can't say I ever thought my teenaged years were good, let alone the best I'd ever get. My god, it was horrid.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:49 PM on June 6, 2005

*hugs C17H19NO3*
wow. Unfortunate, but ultimately makes you much stronger...which you'll need for when a relationship ends when you have much more invested.
posted by schyler523 at 12:06 AM on June 7, 2005

story of my life
posted by greasepig at 12:26 AM on June 7, 2005

This is better than money in the bank man. Based on this, you can develop intimacy issues, commitment issues, and confidence issues. When you get into a real relationship and fuck up (and you will) don't hesitate to play this card. Better yet, write a s song about this event. That's compound interest.
posted by nixerman at 1:18 AM on June 7, 2005

I would venture to say that in the coming years, negative feelings in regards to actions taken at a prom (she broke her word and acted in a caddish manner) will far outweigh any possible postive outcome.

You can let this be a big thing in your life or you can chalk it up to a lesson learned about a specific person early on.

Was it a good time? Probably not. But in the long run it can be a worse time for her than for you.
posted by Dagobert at 1:48 AM on June 7, 2005

Regardless of the outcome, you faced your fears like a fucking man and came out relatively unscathed. That is far more important to your character. Good work.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:55 AM on June 7, 2005

Honestly. This HAS to be Keyser Soze.
posted by dios at 8:58 AM on June 7, 2005

Learn to play the guitar and guys like me (the kind who steal prom dates) will curse you as they walk home alone.

Good advice.

And I agree that this is a blessing in disguise; obviously this girl is not worth your time and energy, so it's a good thing that she made that very clear before you wasted any more effort on her.
posted by ludwig_van at 9:40 AM on June 7, 2005

Never thought I'd EVER say this, dios, but you just made my day!
posted by Floydd at 9:46 AM on June 7, 2005

Props to you C17. And be kind of thankful that you didn't end up going anywhere with her. She showed her true colors by lying to you like that. Would you want to date someone like that?
posted by dazed_one at 9:54 AM on June 7, 2005

Chin up, C17!
posted by 27 at 9:58 AM on June 7, 2005

Living well isn't the best revenge. Doing her sister in the butt is the best revenge.
Remember, though, that everyone who is popular in high school ends up working second shift as a Walmart cashier. Screw your hurt deep down inside and use it to study. Also: college girls are totally easy.
posted by klangklangston at 10:29 AM on June 7, 2005

We are, we really are!
posted by stray at 10:33 AM on June 7, 2005

What everybody else said. Even though it's hard to imagine now, this will make a great story eventually (you can work up one version for seduction and one for making everyone laugh at parties). And I guarantee thinking of this prom will always make her wince.
posted by languagehat at 10:57 AM on June 7, 2005

From reading the comments, I feel I need to contribute some more:

1) I did go alone.

2) The look on her face when she saw me there was priceless--I'll never forget it.

3) I am not Keysor Soze.

4) I'm in the same boat as five fresh fish
posted by C17H19NO3 at 1:19 PM on June 7, 2005

Attaboy, C17H19NO3.
Remember, being a teenager sucks for anybody with a brain. If it doesn't suck, you aren't paying attention.
Now, go right out there and ask someone else out. Do it until you don't even get the little flutters in your belly anymore, and in college the girls will be asking YOU out.

Trust me. Confidence is KEY.
posted by Floydd at 1:45 PM on June 7, 2005

Remember, being a teenager sucks for anybody with a brain. If it doesn't suck, you aren't paying attention.
I know I left my brain somewhere...
posted by jmd82 at 1:55 PM on June 7, 2005

Remember, though, that everyone who is popular in high school ends up working second shift as a Walmart cashier.

Reminds me of Bill Maher's riff:

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

posted by ericb at 2:33 PM on June 7, 2005

I went to a high-school reunion once, and was glad I did because I found that the one guy who tried to bully me in school was now a balding insurance salesman.
posted by languagehat at 2:52 PM on June 7, 2005

C, you're my new favorite rockstar in the making. I wish I could have been a fly on the wall for #2. BUSTED.

I think that many people's teenage years pretty much blow. Not to say that there isn't a reasonable amount of good times, but they're frustrating and challenging: a general pain in the ass.

The bad news is that all of it never really stops being a pain in the ass and the stakes do get higher, whether they be your heart/marriage, the mortgage or the eventual bad knee.

The good news is that the payoff is much better on the big kid's playground and living life on your own terms is a true thing of beauty. As you will find out.

On preview: Floydd, in my experience, the butterflies never stop. At 35, a long time member of the dating world by choice, and too goofy to be shy, my current object of affection could (and still can) fluster me to the point that I forget my own name by just sitting down at my bar and smiling at me. Even now that I know he adores me. He just makes my brain to be scrambled sometimes.

When I get nervous, I tend to rely heavily on humor to engage others and dispel the tension. I don't know that it translates to confidence (though I do think that being comfortable in your own skin is one of the most attractive things on the planet.) If that person can't loosen up and laugh, it's usually all down the toilet.
posted by Frisbee Girl at 2:57 PM on June 7, 2005

which you'll need for when a relationship ends when you have much more invested.schyler523

Actually, I do know what that's like, too.
posted by C17H19NO3 at 4:49 PM on June 7, 2005

C17H19NO3 (20Ker) writes "which you'll need for when a relationship ends when you have much more invested.schyler523

"Actually, I do know what that's like, too."

*sticks foot in mouth*
posted by schyler523 at 7:19 PM on June 7, 2005

2) The look on her face when she saw me there was priceless--I'll never forget it.


Some people don't start feeling bad about their wrongdoings until they get caught. I'd hazard a guess that she's one of them.
posted by orange swan at 5:43 AM on June 8, 2005

the one guy who tried to bully me in school was now a balding insurance salesman.

Wait, they sell balding insurance now?
posted by Floydd at 8:09 AM on June 8, 2005

If you are looking into law enforcement you could do worse than pull the bitch over and zap her a couple of times with a taser.

She'll remember to go to the prom next time!

Taser International - For That Electric First Touch...
posted by longbaugh at 8:42 AM on June 8, 2005

Instant karma shall come. You said you're going into law enforcement. Great! The chances that you will someday pull her over for speeding are really, really good. Just remember to smile real big and do everything by the book.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:35 AM on June 8, 2005

C17H19NO3, I'm glad you had the balls to try. Now you don't have to look back and wonder "What if I had asked that hottie to prom?" Also, you've begun learning the lesson that hot =/= good.
posted by callmejay at 12:11 PM on June 8, 2005

Wait, they sell balding insurance now?

Shit, I wish I had some of that back when I was 17.

Hey C17H19NO3...it always feels great to be the cool cucmber when someone who tried to play you makes an ass of themselves in front of you. Good on you for not letting her ruin it.

(Psst...best revenge is sister and mom.
posted by Snyder at 4:08 AM on June 9, 2005