How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

July 7, 2005 10:27 AM

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
posted by filmgeek to MetaFilter-related at 10:27 AM (73 comments total)

JRUN
JRUN
JRUN

So, what is your favorite Metafilter joke?
posted by filmgeek at 10:28 AM on July 7, 2005

Three. One to hold the ladder, one to geError Occurred While Processing Request
posted by Jairus at 10:29 AM on July 7, 2005

One. You post it on Flickr, and several comments and suggestions later success and ruminations on the power of lazyweb follow.
posted by 31d1 at 10:32 AM on July 7, 2005

favorite metafilter joke
posted by 31d1 at 10:34 AM on July 7, 2005

8. One to screw in the lightbulb, five others to argue over how it could have been done better, one to complain that it's all just anti-bush bullshit anyway, and one to post a thread to MetaTalk asking if we can please just lay off the lightbulbs?
posted by christian at 10:40 AM on July 7, 2005

25000+. Some will say that it's wrong to change lightbulbs, that we should accept them the way they are. Another group will post an incredibly detailed study of various brands filament quality that nobody will understand. Still more will protest that putting in the bulb is insulting and dangerous to the heliophobe community. And quonsar will put a fish in his pants.
posted by jonmc at 10:41 AM on July 7, 2005

Just two, but how do you get them in the light bulb?
posted by Saucy Intruder at 10:42 AM on July 7, 2005

Just one, but none of use can agree on who.
posted by oddman at 10:45 AM on July 7, 2005

They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in pools of self righteous indignation.
posted by Divine_Wino at 10:47 AM on July 7, 2005

We're all here at #1's dispensation. He has to change the lightbulbs.
posted by OmieWise at 10:49 AM on July 7, 2005

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to point out how anal the spell checkers are

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

another 6 to condemn those 6

1 industry professional to post a lengthy diatribe about changing lightbulbs. this post will include informing the group that the proper term is "lamp" (this post will be linked by mathowie in the sidebar on the main metafilter page)

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs

2 to post that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy. they will be invited "not to let the door hit their ass on the way out"

4 to post "."

92 to ask what "." means

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting about light bulbs"

12 to call a moratorium on changing lightbulbs

22 to call a moratorium on moratoriums

9 to call the post lightbulbchangingfilter

7 to ask if the post is really the best of the web

(I stole parts of this from a computer joke I found somewhere and customized it)
posted by iconomy at 10:52 AM on July 7, 2005

Do we need to buy #1 some more lightbulbs?
posted by Cranberry at 10:55 AM on July 7, 2005

Oh man. iconomy so wins.
posted by Specklet at 10:56 AM on July 7, 2005

and one more to say that when his lightbulb broke the whole building collapsed, and also to mention that there are million of lightbulbs breaking in Africa all the time so why are we discussing this one lightbulb again?
posted by sebas at 11:00 AM on July 7, 2005

it only needs two mefi members to screw quite happily in a lightbulb....

...but a newsfilter circle jerk can involve thousands.
posted by andrew cooke at 11:04 AM on July 7, 2005

bright summer nighttime
blackened glass bulbs unchanged, but
my monitor glows
posted by ColdChef at 11:16 AM on July 7, 2005

Who cares when Dubya screws the Iraqis every single day!
posted by dodgygeezer at 11:24 AM on July 7, 2005

Just flag the lightbulb and move on!
posted by scody at 11:29 AM on July 7, 2005

An angry MetaFilterian poster
Said, "This server is like a rollercoaster.
First it's up then it's down."
Then he spat and he frowned.
"I'd be better off fucking my toaster."
posted by ColdChef at 11:30 AM on July 7, 2005

Why did the Mefite cross the road?
Because someone on Boing Boing did earlier that day.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 11:43 AM on July 7, 2005

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wouldn't this be more appropriate for AskMetaFilter? ;)
posted by filmgoerjuan at 11:51 AM on July 7, 2005

How can you tell if MetaFilter has been in your refrigerator?

Your milk has been replaced with Silk, all your fatty foods have been replaced with notes accusing you of being a fat lazy American, your cucumbers have been circumcised, and some fishfucker has had his way with your five fresh fish.
posted by ColdChef at 11:55 AM on July 7, 2005

You guys left out "1 to complain on Metachat that the lightbulb is out."
posted by neckro23 at 12:00 PM on July 7, 2005

There's a town in Indiana called Floyd's Knob.





Okay, it's not a MeFi joke, but it's true!
posted by Shane at 12:11 PM on July 7, 2005

There's a town in Indiana called Floyd's Knob.


Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball. So?
posted by fixedgear at 12:17 PM on July 7, 2005

*ogles*

so, Specklet, coffee or lunch?
posted by quonsar at 12:24 PM on July 7, 2005

Actually, we haven't had to change it yet!
posted by grateful at 12:27 PM on July 7, 2005

There's a town in Indiana called Floyd's Knob.

Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball. So?

Michigan has a town called Climax. Not far from where quonsar lives. The plot thickens.
posted by pardonyou? at 12:28 PM on July 7, 2005

also Hell, also not far.
posted by quonsar at 12:30 PM on July 7, 2005

Come to MetaChat - we have a lightbulb that works!
posted by dodgygeezer at 12:51 PM on July 7, 2005

"The Aristocrats."
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:53 PM on July 7, 2005

...and some fishfucker has had his way with your five fresh fish.

And the sixth is down quonsar's pants.
posted by me3dia at 1:01 PM on July 7, 2005

Thanks iconomy, that had me laughing a lot.
posted by peacay at 1:04 PM on July 7, 2005

You guys, leave my knob out of this, m'kay?
posted by Floydd at 1:25 PM on July 7, 2005

Y'know, we could replace the lightbulb with an LED array and a solar panel, and never have to change it again. Also, much easier for throwing light-switch raves.

But being solid plastic, much harder to screw in. Though why you'd want to screw in a near vacuum in proximity to a superheated tungsten coil is beyond me.
posted by loquacious at 1:35 PM on July 7, 2005

And one iconomy to make reading the entire thread worth it!
posted by ericb at 1:37 PM on July 7, 2005

Two gents are doing their thing at the urinal. When done, the first gent washes his hands while the second gent walks out the door.

Catching up to the second gent at the elevator the first man says "I don't know what web community you belong to, but were I come from [MeTa]!"

To which the second gentleman replied "That's great where I hang out we figured long ago that urine is sterile."
posted by furtive at 2:53 PM on July 7, 2005

"I for one welcome our new lightbulb screwing in.." etc
posted by fire&wings at 3:19 PM on July 7, 2005

And one iconomy to make reading the entire thread worth it!

It's a classic... - actually this whole wiki entry is pretty fun.
posted by mdn at 3:23 PM on July 7, 2005

Metafilter: We screw in lightbulbs
posted by Roger Dodger at 3:28 PM on July 7, 2005

did furtive really just post tubgirl? cuz she really belongs in the london broil thread.
posted by quonsar at 3:31 PM on July 7, 2005

Oh, iconomy wins by such a margin that I hereby declare her the winner of the next ten MeTa threads by default.

Truth in humour, indeed.
posted by dg at 4:00 PM on July 7, 2005

Plus, all this talk of screwing in light bulbs is so US-centric. I bet most of you USians are not even aware than not all of the world uses light bulbs that screw in, do you? Never heard of bayonet cap light bulbs? You have now.
posted by dg at 4:06 PM on July 7, 2005

Now that that's settled, does anyone else like to get sloppy drunk and listen to old gospel records, or is that just me?
posted by jonmc at 4:40 PM on July 7, 2005

Man, metafilter was so much better before all the lightbulb posts. Yeah, yeah, I know. If I hate bulbfilter, I should just skip this thread.
posted by Staggering Jack at 4:42 PM on July 7, 2005

This light bulb, it vibrates?


Actually, it takes one Mefi-er to screw it in and about another dozen to point out that some one else had just screwed one in a little earlier on the front page...

iconomy won, but I lost The Game.
posted by Jon-o at 4:44 PM on July 7, 2005

It's just you, jonmc. Sorry about that. Of course, getting sloppy drunk and listening to any music is a fine way to spend an evening. Well, except disco. Or country.
posted by dg at 5:25 PM on July 7, 2005

Well, except disco. Or country.

Disco, OK, but country is perfect music to get sloppy drunk to. You just haven't heard the right stuff yet.
posted by jonmc at 5:33 PM on July 7, 2005

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

25015. No, 25016... 25017... 25018...
posted by kindall at 5:37 PM on July 7, 2005

country is perfect music to get sloppy drunk to.

The jukebox is playin' a honky-tonk song
"One more", I keep sayin', "and then I'll go home"
What good will it do me, I know what I'll find
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind

The people are dancin' and havin' their fun
And I sit here thinkin' about what you have done
To try and forget you, I've turned to the wine
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind

Alone and forsaken, so blue I could cry
I just sit here drinkin' till the bottle runs dry
What good will it do me, I know what I'll find
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind
posted by languagehat at 6:02 PM on July 7, 2005

and, of course, if you play a country song backwards you get your wife back, your dog back, your job back and your pickup back...
posted by jonmc at 6:04 PM on July 7, 2005

I've actually been to Hell, Climax, Floyds Knob and, though not mentioned, the ever popular French Lick
posted by mss at 6:20 PM on July 7, 2005

Bob's changing the lightbulb... he's got it, it looks like he's got it...

NO, HE'S DOWN! BOB IS DOWN!

OH, THE HUMANITY! THE HUMANITY!
posted by Shane at 6:55 PM on July 7, 2005

fixedgear writes "Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball."

You'd think they'd have one... OR the other.
posted by clevershark at 6:59 PM on July 7, 2005

"Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball."

Don't forget Santorum!
posted by ericb at 7:16 PM on July 7, 2005

I blame quonsar and P.P.
posted by Balisong at 7:23 PM on July 7, 2005

Wouldn't this be more appropriate for AskMetaFilter?

No, because "Make sure it's not MetaFilter, MetaTalk, or Ask MetaFilter related, as those posts would best be posted in MetaTalk than here."

But yes, iconomy wins.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:32 PM on July 7, 2005

No, because "Make sure it's not MetaFilter, MetaTalk, or Ask MetaFilter related, as those posts would best be posted in MetaTalk than here."

yes, that's the joke.
posted by puke & cry at 7:53 PM on July 7, 2005

Actually, with all the mastubatory behaviour that goes on here, it probably only takes one.
posted by dg at 8:15 PM on July 7, 2005

Actually, with all the mastubatory behaviour that goes on here, it probably only takes one.

Agreed. It only takes one MeFite to screw anything.
posted by nthdegx at 12:22 AM on July 8, 2005

In Soviet Russia, lightbulb screws you!
(via)
posted by Saucy Intruder at 8:26 AM on July 8, 2005

MeFite: A dick army of one.
posted by If I Had An Anus at 8:47 AM on July 8, 2005

at least 20 ... one to screw it in, one to smash it with a hammer, one to scream that someone smashed it with a hammer, one to moan that we'll always be in the dark, one to claim that it's not that dark anyway, one to take it to meta-talk, and several to recall their lightbulb experiences or perform variants of the above mentioned actions
posted by pyramid termite at 9:09 AM on July 8, 2005

everybody has forgotten: one to declare that this is why we can't have nice lightbulbs.
posted by taz at 10:59 AM on July 8, 2005

taz wins in overtime...
posted by wendell at 11:36 AM on July 8, 2005

I miss mr_crash_davis.
posted by sciurus at 12:23 PM on July 8, 2005

Why, was he good at screwing in lightbulbs?
posted by found missing at 12:35 PM on July 8, 2005

two, but they have to be small.
posted by seanyboy at 3:14 PM on July 8, 2005

Why, was he good at screwing in lightbulbs?

Oh yeah, baby. He was the best.
posted by iconomy at 5:19 PM on July 8, 2005

15,000 of them, to talk about how much cooler the 14Kers are than the ones who came on later.
posted by matildaben at 10:37 PM on July 8, 2005

Or, how many Metafilterans does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really, really has to want to change....(*Shaboom!*)
posted by Lynsey at 11:58 PM on July 8, 2005

to talk about how much cooler the 14Kers are than the ones who came on later.

Not to mention those who came on earlier!
posted by languagehat at 6:38 AM on July 9, 2005

either way, it just sounds messy
posted by found missing at 9:36 AM on July 9, 2005