Comments on: How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

filmgeek — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:27:56 -0800

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

By: filmgeek

filmgeek — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:28:42 -0800

JRUN
JRUN
JRUN

So, what is your favorite Metafilter joke?

By: Jairus

Jairus — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:29:23 -0800

Three. One to hold the ladder, one to geError Occurred While Processing Request

By: 31d1

31d1 — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:32:47 -0800

One. You post it on Flickr, and several comments and suggestions later success and ruminations on the power of lazyweb follow.

By: 31d1

31d1 — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:34:21 -0800

favorite metafilter joke

By: christian

christian — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:40:06 -0800

8. One to screw in the lightbulb, five others to argue over how it could have been done better, one to complain that it's all just anti-bush bullshit anyway, and one to post a thread to MetaTalk asking if we can please just lay off the lightbulbs?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:41:31 -0800

25000+. Some will say that it's wrong to change lightbulbs, that we should accept them the way they are. Another group will post an incredibly detailed study of various brands filament quality that nobody will understand. Still more will protest that putting in the bulb is insulting and dangerous to the heliophobe community. And quonsar will put a fish in his pants.

By: Saucy Intruder

Saucy Intruder — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:42:38 -0800

Just two, but how do you get them in the light bulb?

By: oddman

oddman — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:45:45 -0800

Just one, but none of use can agree on who.

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:47:40 -0800

They don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in pools of self righteous indignation.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:49:37 -0800

We're all here at #1's dispensation. He has to change the lightbulbs.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:52:52 -0800

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to point out how anal the spell checkers are

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"

another 6 to condemn those 6

1 industry professional to post a lengthy diatribe about changing lightbulbs. this post will include informing the group that the proper term is "lamp" (this post will be linked by mathowie in the sidebar on the main metafilter page)

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URLs

2 to post that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy. they will be invited "not to let the door hit their ass on the way out"

4 to post "."

92 to ask what "." means

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting about light bulbs"

12 to call a moratorium on changing lightbulbs

22 to call a moratorium on moratoriums

9 to call the post lightbulbchangingfilter

7 to ask if the post is really the best of the web

(I stole parts of this from a computer joke I found somewhere and customized it)

By: Cranberry

Cranberry — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:55:51 -0800

Do we need to buy #1 some more lightbulbs?

By: Specklet

Specklet — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 10:56:38 -0800

Oh man. iconomy so wins.

By: sebas

sebas — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:00:21 -0800

and one more to say that when his lightbulb broke the whole building collapsed, and also to mention that there are million of lightbulbs breaking in Africa all the time so why are we discussing this one lightbulb again?

By: andrew cooke

andrew cooke — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:04:39 -0800

it only needs two mefi members to screw quite happily in a lightbulb....

...but a newsfilter circle jerk can involve thousands.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:16:56 -0800

bright summer nighttime
blackened glass bulbs unchanged, but
my monitor glows

By: dodgygeezer

dodgygeezer — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:24:26 -0800

Who cares when Dubya screws the Iraqis every single day!

By: scody

scody — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:29:58 -0800

Just flag the lightbulb and move on!

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:30:04 -0800

An angry MetaFilterian poster
Said, "This server is like a rollercoaster.
First it's up then it's down."
Then he spat and he frowned.
"I'd be better off fucking my toaster."

By: Slack-a-gogo

Slack-a-gogo — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:43:55 -0800

Why did the Mefite cross the road?
Because someone on Boing Boing did earlier that day.

By: filmgoerjuan

filmgoerjuan — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:51:55 -0800

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wouldn't this be more appropriate for AskMetaFilter? ;)

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 11:55:50 -0800

How can you tell if MetaFilter has been in your refrigerator?

Your milk has been replaced with Silk, all your fatty foods have been replaced with notes accusing you of being a fat lazy American, your cucumbers have been circumcised, and some fishfucker has had his way with your five fresh fish.

By: neckro23

neckro23 — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:00:26 -0800

You guys left out "1 to complain on Metachat that the lightbulb is out."

By: Shane

Shane — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:11:49 -0800

There's a town in Indiana called Floyd's Knob.

Okay, it's not a MeFi joke, but it's true!

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:17:58 -0800

There's a town in Indiana called Floyd's Knob.

Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball. So?

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:24:01 -0800

*ogles*

so, Specklet, coffee or lunch?

By: grateful

grateful — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:27:16 -0800

Actually, we haven't had to change it yet!

By: pardonyou?

pardonyou? — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:28:55 -0800

There's a town in Indiana called Floyd's Knob.

Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball. So?

Michigan has a town called Climax. Not far from where quonsar lives. The plot thickens.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:30:40 -0800

also Hell, also not far.

By: dodgygeezer

dodgygeezer — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:51:00 -0800

Come to MetaChat - we have a lightbulb that works!

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 12:53:42 -0800

"The Aristocrats."

By: me3dia

me3dia — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 13:01:32 -0800

...and some fishfucker has had his way with your five fresh fish.

And the sixth is down quonsar's pants.

By: peacay

peacay — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 13:04:19 -0800

Thanks iconomy, that had me laughing a lot.

By: Floydd

Floydd — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 13:25:36 -0800

You guys, leave my knob out of this, m'kay?

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 13:35:43 -0800

Y'know, we could replace the lightbulb with an LED array and a solar panel, and never have to change it again. Also, much easier for throwing light-switch raves.

But being solid plastic, much harder to screw in. Though why you'd want to screw in a near vacuum in proximity to a superheated tungsten coil is beyond me.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 13:37:43 -0800

And one iconomy to make reading the entire thread worth it!

By: furtive

furtive — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 14:53:46 -0800

Two gents are doing their thing at the urinal. When done, the first gent washes his hands while the second gent walks out the door.

Catching up to the second gent at the elevator the first man says "I don't know what web community you belong to, but were I come from [MeTa]!"

To which the second gentleman replied "That's great where I hang out we figured long ago that urine is sterile."

By: fire&wings

fire&wings — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 15:19:56 -0800

"I for one welcome our new lightbulb screwing in.." etc

By: mdn

mdn — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 15:23:23 -0800

And one iconomy to make reading the entire thread worth it!

It's a classic... - actually this whole wiki entry is pretty fun.

By: Roger Dodger

Roger Dodger — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 15:28:20 -0800

Metafilter: We screw in lightbulbs

By: quonsar

quonsar — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 15:31:58 -0800

did furtive really just post tubgirl? cuz she really belongs in the london broil thread.

By: dg

dg — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 16:00:51 -0800

Oh, iconomy wins by such a margin that I hereby declare her the winner of the next ten MeTa threads by default.

Truth in humour, indeed.

By: dg

dg — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 16:06:01 -0800

Plus, all this talk of screwing in light bulbs is so US-centric. I bet most of you USians are not even aware than not all of the world uses light bulbs that screw in, do you? Never heard of bayonet cap light bulbs? You have now.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 16:40:18 -0800

Now that that's settled, does anyone else like to get sloppy drunk and listen to old gospel records, or is that just me?

By: Staggering Jack

Staggering Jack — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 16:42:51 -0800

Man, metafilter was so much better before all the lightbulb posts. Yeah, yeah, I know. If I hate bulbfilter, I should just skip this thread.

By: Jon-o

Jon-o — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 16:44:45 -0800

This light bulb, it vibrates?

Actually, it takes one Mefi-er to screw it in and about another dozen to point out that some one else had just screwed one in a little earlier on the front page...

iconomy won, but I lost The Game.

By: dg

dg — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 17:25:10 -0800

It's just you, jonmc. Sorry about that. Of course, getting sloppy drunk and listening to any music is a fine way to spend an evening. Well, except disco. Or country.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 17:33:28 -0800

Well, except disco. Or country.

Disco, OK, but country is perfect music to get sloppy drunk to. You just haven't heard the right stuff yet.

By: kindall

kindall — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 17:37:57 -0800

How many MetaFilter Users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

25015. No, 25016... 25017... 25018...

By: languagehat

languagehat — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:02:25 -0800

country is perfect music to get sloppy drunk to.

The jukebox is playin' a honky-tonk song
"One more", I keep sayin', "and then I'll go home"
What good will it do me, I know what I'll find
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind

The people are dancin' and havin' their fun
And I sit here thinkin' about what you have done
To try and forget you, I've turned to the wine
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind

Alone and forsaken, so blue I could cry
I just sit here drinkin' till the bottle runs dry
What good will it do me, I know what I'll find
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind
An empty bottle, a broken heart and you're still on my mind

By: jonmc

jonmc — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:04:09 -0800

and, of course, if you play a country song backwards you get your wife back, your dog back, your job back and your pickup back...

By: mss

mss — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:20:03 -0800

I've actually been to Hell, Climax, Floyds Knob and, though not mentioned, the ever popular French Lick

By: Shane

Shane — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:55:48 -0800

Bob's changing the lightbulb... he's got it, it looks like he's got it...

NO, HE'S DOWN! BOB IS DOWN!

OH, THE HUMANITY! THE HUMANITY!

By: clevershark

clevershark — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:59:54 -0800

fixedgear writes "Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball."

You'd think they'd have one... OR the other.

By: ericb

ericb — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 19:16:01 -0800

"Yes, but Pennsylvania has Intercourse and Blue Ball."

Don't forget Santorum!

By: Balisong

Balisong — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 19:23:19 -0800

I blame quonsar and P.P.

By: DevilsAdvocate

DevilsAdvocate — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 19:32:16 -0800

Wouldn't this be more appropriate for AskMetaFilter?

No, because "Make sure it's not MetaFilter, MetaTalk, or Ask MetaFilter related, as those posts would best be posted in MetaTalk than here."

But yes, iconomy wins.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 19:53:36 -0800

No, because "Make sure it's not MetaFilter, MetaTalk, or Ask MetaFilter related, as those posts would best be posted in MetaTalk than here."

yes, that's the joke.

By: dg

dg — Thu, 07 Jul 2005 20:15:46 -0800

Actually, with all the mastubatory behaviour that goes on here, it probably only takes one.

By: nthdegx

nthdegx — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 00:22:40 -0800

Actually, with all the mastubatory behaviour that goes on here, it probably only takes one.

Agreed. It only takes one MeFite to screw anything.

By: Saucy Intruder

Saucy Intruder — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 08:26:30 -0800

In Soviet Russia, lightbulb screws you!
(via)

By: If I Had An Anus

If I Had An Anus — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 08:47:01 -0800

MeFite: A dick army of one.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 09:09:50 -0800

at least 20 ... one to screw it in, one to smash it with a hammer, one to scream that someone smashed it with a hammer, one to moan that we'll always be in the dark, one to claim that it's not that dark anyway, one to take it to meta-talk, and several to recall their lightbulb experiences or perform variants of the above mentioned actions

By: taz

taz — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 10:59:34 -0800

everybody has forgotten: one to declare that this is why we can't have nice lightbulbs.

By: wendell

wendell — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 11:36:51 -0800

taz wins in overtime...

By: sciurus

sciurus — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 12:23:44 -0800

I miss mr_crash_davis.

By: found missing

found missing — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 12:35:41 -0800

Why, was he good at screwing in lightbulbs?

By: seanyboy

seanyboy — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 15:14:14 -0800

two, but they have to be small.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 17:19:10 -0800

Why, was he good at screwing in lightbulbs?

Oh yeah, baby. He was the best.

By: matildaben

matildaben — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 22:37:13 -0800

15,000 of them, to talk about how much cooler the 14Kers are than the ones who came on later.

By: Lynsey

Lynsey — Fri, 08 Jul 2005 23:58:58 -0800

Or, how many Metafilterans does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb really, really has to want to change....(*Shaboom!*)

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 06:38:50 -0800

to talk about how much cooler the 14Kers are than the ones who came on later.

Not to mention those who came on earlier!

By: found missing

found missing — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 09:36:09 -0800

either way, it just sounds messy