Flamebait

April 30, 2004 3:11 PM

The Flamebait You Left Me. Looks like ass. Smells like ass. "In short - As an AskMe post, this is ass." I agree.
posted by scarabic to Bugs at 3:11 PM (43 comments total)

A long string of unanswerable queries of a global magnitude, hypothetically stated, but loaded with implications. No possible way to respond except to speculate, pontificate, spout a party line or just guess. The lightning hasn't struck yet, but as soon as someone touches down and applies the conversation to a real example, this thing will combust.

I'm not really blaming you, The Fire You Left Me. I can see how several good, caring instrincts would lead one to ask these questions. AskMe just isn't the place.
posted by scarabic at 3:11 PM on April 30, 2004

Look for some links to prove your point, construct it a little better, and drop it in the blue. The way this is, it's so open ended as to be completely useless.
posted by calwatch at 3:14 PM on April 30, 2004

I'm very forgiving of "bad" MeFi, MeTa, and AxeMeFi posts...but this one really is lame. It's not even a *question* -- it's more of a random "gee, I wonder if..." kind of thing.
posted by davidmsc at 3:51 PM on April 30, 2004

coming up next: why are bush and blair such gaping cunts?
posted by quonsar at 3:55 PM on April 30, 2004

and similarly, why is the ASL sign for vagina so much more demonstrative than for penis?
posted by biffa at 4:00 PM on April 30, 2004

How about an AskMeRh for rhetorical questions?
posted by bingo at 4:14 PM on April 30, 2004

I would lobby you that socio-political conversation starters should never ever under even the most extremes of need be posted at AskMe.

It is akin to posting the question, "Does anyone have an idea where I should stick this gay cat named SUV?"
posted by y6y6y6 at 4:16 PM on April 30, 2004

Not to belabor anyone else's point, but it's not good form to accuse someone of being drunk.
posted by PrinceValium at 5:24 PM on April 30, 2004

Sure, but think how cool it would be if someone did come up with an answer ...

actually some of the answers already there are quite good.

This is not even close to pushing the envelope for bad questions.
posted by milovoo at 6:55 PM on April 30, 2004

Yes it is. It was asked in bad faith.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 7:11 PM on April 30, 2004

To disagree: I think that's a great question. Better than how do I fix my computer and where should I go in—well, Paris in my case. Where is it stated that AskMe is best if only limited to tangible questions? What is so bad about generating discussion about big topics? This actually seems preferable to "axe grinding" blue threads (which I don't mind).

Also, that thread seemed pretty damn civil till everyone started moaning about how bad it was.
posted by dame at 9:26 PM on April 30, 2004

What is so bad about generating discussion about big topics? This actually seems preferable to "axe grinding" blue threads (which I don't mind).

If we open that door, then the axe grinding will just transfer to the Green, unrestrained even by the need to have something new and interesting to link to. This is very, very bad. It would kill the usefulness of AskMetafilter.

Unless you want me asking, every day, why all homosexuals turn out to be axe murdering abortionists who refuse to acknowledge the obvious Truth that God has placed in their hearts while burning the American Flag and watching reality TV (the horror!), then don't open that door.

I vote bad.
posted by gd779 at 9:50 PM on April 30, 2004

I haven't seen Matt do a whole lot of question deleting, but I know he frowns on questions that can't be answered, and has never wanted any of the MetaFilter sites to become mere discussion boards. I think he would say that you can get that anywhere.
posted by scarabic at 9:52 PM on April 30, 2004

mere hates it when we discuss him anyway.
posted by quonsar at 10:22 PM on April 30, 2004

I vote bad also, for reasons well put above.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 10:41 PM on April 30, 2004

I'm obviously in the dissent, here, but I thought it was a decent philosophical question. At most, that was boy scout hatchet grinding.

And it takes a stone to grind against, eh?
posted by weston at 11:51 PM on April 30, 2004

AssMeta?
posted by fvw at 12:50 AM on May 1, 2004

I'm still deciding when--and how--I should pose my how-to-commit-the-perfect-murder question. I doubt anyone can beat the classic stab-a-stranger-with-an-icicle method, but we'll find out soon enough.
posted by The God Complex at 3:26 AM on May 1, 2004

is it just me or does it read like an essay question?
posted by triv at 3:43 AM on May 1, 2004

posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:34 AM on May 1, 2004

"Where is it stated that AskMe is best if only limited to tangible questions?"

Well, the site owner has stated it many times. Does that count?
posted by y6y6y6 at 6:05 AM on May 1, 2004

man, y6y6y6, you ought to just come out of the closet. "the site owner this" and "the site owner that" and "i'm sending the site owner to iceland" and yadda yadda yadda. how brown does your nose have to be?
posted by quonsar at 6:16 AM on May 1, 2004

man, quonsar, you ought to just come out of the closet. "I this" and "I that" and "I'm pretty" and yadda yadda yadda. how big does your textual dick have to be?

[Note : I like the y6 and I like the q, but fair's freakin' fair, no?]
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:24 AM on May 1, 2004

fair indeed! i laughed my ass off at your comment AND mine, stav!
posted by quonsar at 6:38 AM on May 1, 2004

*performs secret and mildy erotic Metafilter maneuvers with quonsar*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:44 AM on May 1, 2004

Quite brown, thank you. And there's really no need to be jealous Mr Quonsar. There's plenty of Matt's ass to go around.
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:02 AM on May 1, 2004

Given some of the insightful and lucid answers that can quite unexpectedly crop up in AskMe, I think it was a fine question. By asking it, the questioner at least invites the possibility of an answer of some articulacy which clarifies issues perhaps he, you and I never considered (assuming you're interested in the question, of course, which, perhaps, some of it's knockers simply aren't).

I don't see the disingenuity in the questioner, some people are alleging.

I think AskMe can be about a wee bit more that "Why won't my PC start?" (though that's a perfectly valid question).
posted by Blue Stone at 9:03 AM on May 1, 2004

MetaTalk: There's plenty of Matt's ass to go around.
posted by fvw at 9:11 AM on May 1, 2004

well. now I know that matt has a really big ass. i've learned something new today.
posted by bargle at 9:37 AM on May 1, 2004

I'll let you all know after our meetup later today ; >
posted by amberglow at 9:41 AM on May 1, 2004

which one of you guys took my paint can.
posted by mcsweetie at 11:57 AM on May 1, 2004

I'm still deciding when--and how--I should pose my how-to-commit-the-perfect-murder question. I doubt anyone can beat the classic stab-a-stranger-with-an-icicle method, but we'll find out soon enough.

TGC, how about bonking (old usage) them over the head with a frozen leg of beast and then roasting it up and serving it to the cops when they come round to interview you?

I love AskMe, because I am a practical girl. And I would like to see it stick to where/what/when/how questions and limit the why questions to hows in disguise (eg, "Why does this spam slip through my filters?"). Also, I have a lot of body-disposal questions I want to post as soon as Matt gets the anonymous thing working.
posted by caitlinb at 12:39 PM on May 1, 2004

By asking it, the questioner at least invites the possibility of an answer of some articulacy which clarifies issues perhaps he, you and I never considered

Next up: "What is the meaning of life?"

I mean... shit. It's been pondered by generations of philosophers, but "given some of the insightful and lucid answers that can quite unexpectedly crop up in AskMe," we should really post it ASAP and see what comes of it. Perhaps quonsar will post a 150x150 jpeg that will settle it once and for all?
posted by scarabic at 2:28 PM on May 1, 2004

and similarly, why is the ASL sign for vagina so much more demonstrative than for penis? --biffa

Dude, thanks for that link. I'm teaching my toddler sign language, and sometimes I just need a quick reference to how something is signed. (Although, I tried looking up everything I could think of that was a metaphor for "tinkle" or "pee", but the closest I got was "urine", which surprisingly enough, is almost the same sign as "penis". Huh, who knew?

Anyway, I got something out of the threads...a great new resource. :) Thanks Biffa!
posted by dejah420 at 2:34 PM on May 1, 2004

Perhaps quonsar will post a 150x150 jpeg that will settle it once and for all?

sorry. meaningoflife.jpg is 250 x 250.
posted by quonsar at 4:55 PM on May 1, 2004

TGC, how about bonking (old usage) them over the head with a frozen leg of beast and then roasting it up and serving it to the cops when they come round to interview you?

Hmm, an edible weapon: this has possibilities. I'll think on it and incorporate it into my question.
posted by The God Complex at 10:38 PM on May 1, 2004

TGC: first, get them into an astronaut program at NASA. Then all you have to do is get people to ignore manufacturing weaknesses in the shuttle.
posted by namespan at 12:21 AM on May 2, 2004

Hey caitlinb, wherever did you get that idea?
posted by skoosh at 6:54 AM on May 2, 2004

TGC: the leg of beast has all kinds of genetic material in it that can be identified. Let's see... the victim was killed by a blunt force object containing veal cells. Veal cells show freezer burn under the microscope. Hm. Could it be a frozen leg of veal? Roasting it might make it disappear, but chances are someone saw you buy it or come home with it (and serving it to the cops... just serve them your balls and be done).
posted by scarabic at 10:29 AM on May 2, 2004

TGC: Think outside the box. There's hardly any way to kill someone that doesn't leave forensic evidence if one is looking for it. Also, most murders that are not completely obvious are solved based upon the connection between killer and victim, and motive.

So, killing someone with an unidentifiable and untraceable weapon will create headaches for the DA, but it won't keep you out of the clink. The most important thing you can do is to avoid suspicion of foul play in the first place.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:52 AM on May 2, 2004

Actually, TGC, when you say "stab a stranger with an icicle," do you really mean a stranger? I think one of the best ways a crime can be untraceable is if there is no motive. Despite what we see on television, I don't think the majority of murders are solved with forensic science, rather deduction and interrogation. Have no motive and you're practically off the suspect list by definition. But then, what's the point?
posted by scarabic at 11:14 AM on May 2, 2004

"But then, what's the point?"

The enjoyment of the kill? This is why serial killers are so hard to catch. Especially the ones that don't want to be caught.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:34 AM on May 2, 2004

There's hardly any way to kill someone that doesn't leave forensic evidence if one is looking for it.

Sounds like a challenge.
Or the pitch for a reality show.
This summer on FOX!
posted by inpHilltr8r at 7:05 PM on May 3, 2004