MetaTalk posts tagged with advice

Help me give more helpful answers on AskMefi

giggleknickers — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:54:24 -0800

How can I answer Mefi questions more helpfully? It seems to me that there tend to be a lot of unhelpful answers on Mefi. Not to complain, because there are loads of wonderful, helpful people here, and because I know I'm guilty myself. I would simply like to think about how I could be more helpful and not clutter up threads with unnecessary or annoying answers. The guidelines mostly cover how to ask questions, not how to answer them. I'm trying to look at all the things that make an answer annoying and unhelpful, so I can avoid it myself (and I know I've been guilty in the past and probably will again once in a while in the future despite my efforts). For instance, if someone asks: I'm on the Snoogily Donglewonk Diet and I heard it's good to do low intensity exercise when you're on this kind of diet. Is there any data on how much I should exercise? I don't have time to do more than an hour a day. I imagine some of the answers will be as follows: 1) Unsolicited advice (by far the most annoying and also the most common annoyance). My brother's cousin's aunt's friend's chiropracter's goldfish didn't have success on this diet. Don't do that diet! I know there are some instances where this might be appropriate, for instance if someone is going to unknowingly do something dangerous or illegal, but most of the time it is just annoying and derailing. I understand the urge, though! 2) Haven't read the whole question. Try doing two hours a day. 3) Not even trying to help. If you didn't want to get fat, you shouldn't have eaten so many cupcakes LOL! 4) Guesses from those who have no more information than the asker (when the asker was seeking information rather than ideas or opinions). I never heard of the Snoogily Donglewonk Diet, but half an hour a day, I guess? 5) Claims that the question is not valid. Why are you worrying about your weight? Just accept it. So those are the kind of responses I am going to make every effort not to make myself, which I can also use in situations outside Mefi. What other kinds of responses should I avoid making? Please don't link to examples or mention usernames. No naming and shaming, please! Please!

Thinking of moving to Toronto...Advice?

Alex930 — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 18:36:15 -0800

I've been wanting to move to Toronto for years, and now I'm finally able to do so! Now I have some questions... I'm 21, got my bachelor's degree in Marketing, and currently work as an Advertising Executive for Village Voice Media in New York City (it's the most successful alternative weekly paper in America). I was able to get the job because I have much work experience and self-started my own graphics company. However, I have been yearning to live in Toronto for a few years, and want to move within the next year. Due to my age and lack of any responsibilities holding me back, I feel that moving soon is right for me. Of course, I have a few questions: 1. I plan on having my passport by November of this year, and would like to move in the Fall of 2009. Is this time frame possible? 2. Is being a young professional a positive or negative trait in Toronto? Will my age be a factor in being able to get professional positions? (I'll be 22-23 by then...My Bday is late Sept.) 3. Is the job market going well for those with my degree? I've been reading and getting mixed reviews of the Toronto job scene...some indicate that more positions (and better opportunities) are available in Alberta. 4. How is the salary VS. the standard of living up there? I currently make around $60,000 in NYC right now, and am lucky to not have to pay rent (my family still own property here). If I did, however, my salary would barely cover living expenses (a one bedroom apt. here is around $2,000 per month...then add travel, food, utilities...you get the point). Is this true for you all in Toronto? 5. Is it recommended to have a car? I used to live in Tennessee (my dad's from there and refused to raise me in the city), but sold my car because I knew the transportation system in NYC was more than adequate. 6. Will my past job experience even matter in Toronto? I hear that it may not...and that's not a good thing. I'd basically have to start all over again with no previous work identity. 7. I plan on visiting the city in April, 2009...what are the specific institutions I should be in contact with while I'm there? Any particular websites? Any decent people on here who would befriend me and show me around? :-) All answers are appreciated...especially if you're around my age or job level. Thanks Guys! I just feel that Toronto is right for me, and I tend to follow my heart on decisions like these...that's why I came back to NYC in the first place.

Please don't ask

lukemeister — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 13:24:36 -0800

I was in my local public library today and wanted to look up a thread about Paris that I'd seen in Ask Metafilter, so I got on one of the library's computers. I was surprised to find that the library blocks Ask MeFi. How common is this? How can I get the library to unblock it?

We'll build our house and chop our wood

nax — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:48:33 -0800

Is there are gardening wiki, or do we have enough gardeners here to have a garden.metafilter.com?

I am a commenter, but not your commenter

gjc — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 04:19:31 -0800

Please, for the love of all that is holy, can we please stop? With this crap: "I am not a doctor or dentist, not your doctor or dentist, and you are not my patient. This is not medical advice, it is only to be use for education purposes." Why do people do it? Is it a joke that I'm not getting? It's the internet! Of course you're not my lawyer! Can we have a truce? Can we assume that it's stated and obvious that nobody is nobody else's professional and quit wasting electrons?

Making questions clearer

cosmic osmo — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 10:16:58 -0800

How can I word my AskMe questions better to get more relevant answers? Yesterday I asked a question about smoking--specifically, how not to start up again once I'm home for the summer. In the more inside, I thought I was pretty specific about my own situation, yet only one of the responses so far (the one I marked "best answer") seems to have actually, you know, read the question. I wrote: "I've read Allen Carr's book. I've read all the other threads about quitting smoking. I don't think Chantix, or Wellbutrin, or any kind of nicotine replacement is the answer. I don't think gum or lollipops or chew sticks or whatever are either. Clearly it's a mental thing and not physical addiction." Sample responses: Try Chantix. Try Chantix. Read Allen Carr's book. Normally I would brush this off, but the question I asked a few weeks ago about a specific type of grammar mistake got similar, completely-missing-the-mark type answers (I wrote: I've seen things like lists of common errors in English, but I'm looking for this particular kind of error. Sample response: Here's a list of common errors!) If it were only one or two answers, I'd just ignore them, but for both of these questions the vast, vast majority of answers were not what I was looking for. So I have to wonder...is it me? Am I not being clear enough in what I'm trying to ask? Is it just that grammar pet peeves and trying to quit smoking are topics that encourage people to share whatever's on their mind, regardless of whether or not it's actually relevant to what the poster is looking for? Do people really just not read the "more inside"? I find AskMe a tremendous resource and would love to be able to get better answers to my questions, so I guess I'm trying to figure out how best to do that.

IAALBIANYL

jewishbuddha — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:15:32 -0800

This article gives some insight into the issues surrounging giving legal advice on internet forums, which we occasionally deal with on AskMe: The Dangers of Virtual Cocktail Parties. It's not best-of-the-web, so it didn't merit a MeFi post, but we discuss some of these topics in MeTa now and again, so I thought it might be of interest. Every so often someone asks "Why does everyone bother with the 'I am not a lawyer' drivel?" And many AskMe questions now end with an eye-rolling "Yeah, yeah, I know you're not my frickin lawyer, but..." The disclaimers aren't meant to be condescending. Not everyone is as savvy as you, and a little "IANAL" or "IANYL" goes a long way towards avoiding the unlicensed practice of law or the creation of unintended attorney-client relationships.

AskMe screws the pooch

ikkyu2 — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 18:43:51 -0800

AskMe gets it badly wrong, as the original poster reveals here. I remember seeing that first post come across the green and thinking "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole." The reason is because it is not possible to provide decent health-related advice without doing what docs call a "history and physical," and that's simply not possible in the AskMe framework. Significant information will always be missing. Others were less cautious, and offered every wrong opinion imaginable. From encouraging the poster to take more or different drugs (SSRIs often worsen problems in schizophrenia), to lobbing a wrong diagnosis at her (social anxiety disorder), to telling the poster that there was nothing wrong with her. No one got it right. Many of the responders got it dangerously wrong. Who knows how long these wrong opinions delayed the diagnosis, or what other harm they may have done? Who knows how often this has happened in other threads, with well-intentioned, authoritatively stated, wrong advice? You should all be much, much more careful. We should all be much, much more careful.

How to Host the Perfect Meetup

Miko — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 07:48:38 -0800

So what makes a good meetup? There's a lot of meetup experience represented here. How about a thread for some cumulative wisdom? Obviously, there are a variety of successful formulae. But aside from having a meetup in a location where there are 2 or more MeFites, what tends to make them work (good turnout, lots o'fun had by all) or not work well? What are the best times of day/days of week? How much advance notice? What type of location - bar, restaurant, outdoor, event? Identification methods? What have we learned here?

The Best of "How to Date & Flirt the Mefite Way"

WCityMike — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 21:21:24 -0800

There are about five googol plexes (googols plex?)* about dating and flirting on Metafilter. How do I flirt? Does she like me? How can you tell if a girl likes you? This girl is doing behaviors X, Y, and Z. Is she into me? This boy is doing behaviors A, B, and C. Does he like me? What is the most outstanding and/or insightful commentary you've seen a Mefite write about dating? The topic is such a huge morass of wordage (due to it being a common area of questioning and one that everyone likes to chime in on) that it's a bit daunting in its scope, and yet I know there are some incredible gems. What comments did you think were amazingly spot-on? * — please, don't everybody tell me what the plural of googol plex is and not answer the main one ;-)

Taxes and AskMe

dirtynumbangelboy — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 08:57:26 -0800

We all know tax time is coming. Could we please have a moratorium on all tax-related AskMe's that are more complex than "I live in X, where do I mail my return to"?

Murderous Confession

incessant — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 23:45:13 -0800

Well, askme got served with a doozy tonight and I think it's safe to say it didn't go well. It's not just the completely awful legal advice being dispensed, or the attempt to frame this question as a solely moral one that disturbed me, but the seeming justification of murder (and referencing religion to reason away that murder) that made me shudder.

Boo, my Askme question was deleted.

jokeefe — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:57:18 -0800

Boo, my Askme question was deleted. I'm disappointed, because I did mean the question seriously-- I was actually hoping to get some scientific information/insight into radioactive half-lives, heavy-metal contamination, global warming, etc. Was the tone too flippant? Could I have phrased it better?

Weirdest mention of MeFi in the press

mathowie — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 16:33:55 -0800

Weirdest mention of MeFi in the press: in a press release about advice for college students by a boardgame company. They googled, got Ask MetaFilter, and printed it. I have no idea why.

Fund raising post advice

divabat — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 22:08:55 -0800

I would like to make a MeFi post about a young Malaysian blogger trying to raise funds for treatment for a life-threatening disease. Is this ok? How should I go about it?

Where should I, a physician, draw the line at commenting on health-related posts in AskMe?

ikkyu2 — Fri, 15 Jul 2005 20:29:50 -0800

Where should I, a physician, draw the line at commenting on health-related posts in AskMe?

I enjoy thinking about folks' medical puzzles and often learn something in the process of trying to solve them. However, I'm a neurologist, so most of what I comment on is well outside my scope of practice. I've tried to make it clear in my user info that I'm not commenting in my professional capacity as a medical advisor, but instead as "just another Metafilter user." But if you scroll down to roofus' thought-provoking post a few days ago, you can read about a number of harmful things that we docs could inadvertently be causing, including but not limited to the inflammation of hypochondria, acute bad-adviceFilter, and sudden dismemberment or death.

What do folks think? Should I just can it before I get sued?

Medical Advice on AskMe

roofus — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 12:18:23 -0800

Do other doctors get this horrible sinking feeling when they read a medical question in Ask Metafilter? Usually the questions are OK, but obviously would be better directed at a physician. It's the answers that cause me a headache. Lots of non-doctors seem to wade in with "This one time I had something similar, and...". No actual doctors declare themselves and give a sensible answer. I work in a fairly sub-specialized area (uro-gynae) so I'm not necessarily up to date on most of the questions. None the less, I just can't stand it to sit by and see terrible advice given Equally I feel there's something unethical about attempting to play web-doctor. Any tips on best practice?

AskMe Caucuses

RockyChrysler — Wed, 20 Apr 2005 11:06:45 -0800

as i wander through every bike-related askme query and see the same user names replying to each question i've started to wonder: would there be a benefit to allowing mefi users to organize themselves into caucus-like groups? would it serve the community better if, in much the same way individuals are grouped by region on their profile pages, we could somehow align ourselves by interest/expertise to make better use of our collective resources?

Mefi-a culpa

Doohickie — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 20:48:15 -0800

Calling myself out. Kind of unusual, I know. But I looked back at some of my recent comments and I realized that I've been a butthead and a troll lately. If anyone wants to take exception with my bad behavior, feel free to do so here. And in the effort to make things better- has anyone else fallen into such a rut? Any ideas about how to get out?

Visiting DC for the Inauguration

airguitar — Sun, 16 Jan 2005 06:26:24 -0800

I may be in D.C. for the inauguration. Anyone else? I've never been to Washington. Any tips for travellers? Or tips for someone going to a public gathering like this? I've been to a football game before, but I imagine this is a different type of get-together.

anonymous has some serious relationship problems

matteo — Wed, 13 Oct 2004 10:25:17 -0800

Once I ran to you, I ranNow I'll run from youThis tainted love you've given
75% of this "anonymous" guy's output is love-related. I keep reading that we suck at politics, we suck at religion, we suck at (insert your favorite pet peeve here). I dare to suggest that, no disrespect intended, we suck at giving love advice (assuming that giving useful love advice is actually possible, which I doubt). Is this just a coincidence, or we'll use the anonymous feature mainly to turn AskMeFi into Mr/Mrs LonelyheartsFilter/BrokenheartsFilter?

Where to post an AskMe followup?

dejah420 — Tue, 05 Oct 2004 19:56:23 -0800

I apologize two-fold, one for my unwilling absence from the scintillating minds that are my MeFi sisters and brethren...and secondly, because this may very well be the wrong arena, but darned if I know where to post AskMe follow ups...so here it is. A month or more back, I asked for advice on taking a specific type of pictures. The advice that I was given, both online, and in one case, carried into email, was invaluable. I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who contributed. You not only made me a better photographer, but you taught me a new way to see.

How to do Newsfilter

mathowie — Tue, 29 Oct 2002 11:51:25 -0800

News posts: done right and not so right [more inside]

Dreamhost Shut Down My Sites. Help?

halcyon — Fri, 03 May 2002 09:01:47 -0800

Yesterday I was accused of spamming by my host. Today 10+ websites and my email service has been shut down.
(cockybastard.com, Globalgasm.com, etc.)
I am *hoping* I can resolve this asap. But what if they refuse to listen to me.
I'm struck by how helpless I am. Has this ever happened to anyone here? I am close to actually driving to the Dreamhost offices in person.