MetaTalk posts tagged with death

Update on my wife's passing away

mrbill — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 14:06:36 -0800

An update here on this AskMe post about my wife's death. Thank you, everyone, for the emails, letters, visits, and support you've given me over the past month and a half since my wife passed away. Houstonian and Pomegranate kept me fed for at least three weeks. I may not ever know what really killed her (am trying to get copies of the autopsy and toxicology reports), but in a strange way I'm glad it wasn't anything self-inflicted or intentional. That had been bouncing around the back of my mind for a while. People say "shit happens", and maybe sometimes it happens for a reason. One of the results of this sad circumstance is that I've been put back in touch with a few old friends that I'd not talked to in quite a while.

Should the profiles of deceased MeFites be preserved?

Faint of Butt — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:09:02 -0800

When an account is disabled, all the profile information disappears. Might it be better to preserve the information when the account is disabled due to the owner's death? Under most circumstances, it makes sense to delete the profile information when an account is disabled. For example, it's appropriate when someone wants to leave MetaFilter of their own volition and doesn't want to leave any trace. It's also appropriate when a spammer or scammer shows up and gets the banhammer, and we want to flush them down the memory hole. This morning, though, seized by a fit of 10th-anniversary nostalgia, I was browsing through the wiki and found the page of deceased MeFites. There are good people listed there, people who were appreciated for their contributions to the community: Radio7, alicila, poopy, Cancergiggles and Soulbee, just to name a few. But if you visit their profile pages, hardly anything remains except for their post histories and a blunt "This account is disabled," indistinguishable from the page of a banned self-linker. Even if it's too late to restore the profiles of those who have already passed on, perhaps, in the future, when we lose a good MeFite, his or her profile could remain as a memorial? Maybe a note could even be added to indicate the date on which MetaFilter learned of the death. It would be respectful and appropriate, I think. I know it's what I would want.

A brief period of mourning

twine42 — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 15:40:54 -0800

Every obit thread on MeFi since the start of time* has been a flood of periods/full stops. Why did the Michael Jackson thread become a mess of bad taste jokes with barely an orphaned punctuation mark in sight. What memo did I miss? * May or may not be true - it certainly seems like it...

He was in his armchair, watching a John Wayne movie. It could have been so much worse.

ocherdraco — Sun, 31 May 2009 21:02:40 -0800

Another "Best of Metafilter" request. So, my grandfather died today (as I anticipated a few months ago), and one of my first reactions is to look to Metafilter for comfort and guidance. I've found a few relevant threads on my own (just taking a cursory glance at ColdChef's posting history helps put death in perspective), but I'd appreciate other mefites' help: what are the most helpful, or comforting, or grounding threads you've read on the site that have to do with death and grieving? I don't really know what to feel about all this, but I feel pretty strongly that Metafilter can help.

"There is no afterlife." Cite, please...

hermitosis — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 16:54:17 -0800

"There is no afterlife." Cite, please... A thread in which a mefite asks for help in coping with grief and belief turns (unsurprisingly) into an opportunity for others to present their own personal beliefs as inarguable fact. I find this to be a) completely insensitive, but especially b) a really unfortunate misinterpretation of the original question that pretty much derails the thread. "Of course there's no afterlife..." "Your father has ceased existing..." "There is no afterlife or other side..." It's fine to share your beliefs as part of your advice, and especially in cases like this where it's somewhat topical, but stating them unsupported as fact is not helpful. If comments appeared saying "Don't worry, your loved one is with King Jesus now, sharing in Jehovah's eternal glory, and you'll be better off if you can accept that," it would be just as bad a use of AskMe. I don't expect any comments in that thread to be deleted, but the extreme atheism on this site creeps into the dogmatic range pretty often, and I think everyone could benefit from a reminder that no one party has a monopoly on The Truth (tm), and if you can't reach out to help someone without telling them what to believe, then you should maybe think twice about your offer.

This one goes out to Stormin' Norman... and 311

togdon — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 07:58:46 -0800

Reading the recent story of Norman Van Lier's death reminded me of the "Dead neighbor, or overactive imagination?" AskMe thread from over the holidays. I just checked and there was no follow-up in the thread, despite the fact that it's still open. So... Dead sewer rat? X-Mas time suicide? New Jersey manufacturing death smells? 40+ inquiring minds want(ed) to know hermitosis...

"V" is for "Valiant"

bunnycup — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 05:03:15 -0800

Thank you to all those who have sent kind words to us - they really do help us stay tough. And thanks as a whole to the MeFi community, which has kept me entertained, interested and mentally functioning the past weeks as I lurked, learning new things and following the drama. Vivienne passed away in her sleep last night - I guess she was waiting to make one final point.

Everything dies.

cavalier — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 08:00:29 -0800

I've been doggedly procrastinating on my actual tasks this morning. A big part of that procrastination has involved counting the obit filters on the blue for the past year. I share them now as a statistical curiousity -- my axes are quite sharp and in no need of grinding at the moment. Seriously. I don't think somebody dying makes a great post, it's just a genesis -- what you do with the post makes it a great post. And we have had many, many great posts. DISCLAIMER: I only counted posts that were built around a death that month, or a recent death, "has died" "has passed" etcetera. Posts that involved people dying as a detail or subtext were excluded. And yes, I thought of this last month when I could have sworn the grim reaper was doing a combo. And it seems he was. 8 - January 20 - December 10 - November 8 - October 9 - September 14 - August 9 - July 2 - June 9 - May 7 - April 12 - March 7 - February 8 - January

R.I.P., Anita Rowland

ewagoner — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 18:37:04 -0800

Anita Rowland (User 113), old school blogger, inspiration to many, has lost her fight with cancer. She'll be missed.

Posting from beyond the grave

ColdChef — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 15:16:06 -0800

How to Share Your Obituary With Your Online Friends. When your journey is over, you are probably going to want your online friends, who may live all over the world, to know why your postings have suddenly stopped. Here's a good checklist for anyone who is an active part of an internet community.

Four Posts on the Same Death

dw — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:16:31 -0800

After another four times dead post on the home page, I have a little suggestion to people out to FPP that someone is still dead.

Pride in AskMetafilter, due to questions like this

stupidsexyFlanders — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 18:16:51 -0800

To know that people will post questions like this, and that other people -- strangers -- will help as they have...I hope Matt still is able to steal a few minutes now and then to take some pride in what he's created.

snufFPP

bardic — Thu, 27 Jul 2006 18:20:43 -0800

I'm happy to see that snuff is appropriate for the front page.

You'd love to see him die what?

dersins — Mon, 20 Mar 2006 19:56:54 -0800

Mr. Hincandenza, this is the United States Secret Service. We've got a few questions for you about something you posted on the internets.

An Update on me AskMe about a sick fish

duck — Tue, 04 Oct 2005 20:45:11 -0800

RIP Fish Daddy . An update for this thread. I bought my fish anti-biotics, but sadly it was too late and he passed this morning. I also bought a test kit for amonia, nitrite and nitrate and am pleased to report that all is well with the water, suggesting that I am not the bad fish-taker-carer I feared I might be. A little bit of nitrate, but it seems that's not actually toxic. Anyway, thanks to all who offered advice.

Long-time metafilter member Alicia Frantz passed away on June 3rd.

milovoo — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 12:15:26 -0800

Long-time metafilter member Alicia Frantz passed away on June 3rd.
There is more info on her site, and a news article. She will be greatly missed.

Someone died, and it was still funny, apparently.

dhoyt — Sat, 05 Mar 2005 09:11:13 -0800

Death to Reporters! • The Vindication of Eason Jordan! • Pre-emptive strike! • Why do you hate America so much? • Looks like Nicola Calipari's death is another great opportunity for sneering, soulless political point-scoring. Why was the only semi-respectful treatment of the story the only one to get deleted?

Grey areas in AskMe

Smart Dalek — Tue, 23 Nov 2004 16:57:40 -0800

The AskMe thread on faking one's death seems to skirt the same grey area as several of the deleted warez-related inquiries. Not to be a prude, of course -it's ust that curiousity like this could be bad for our ponies.

Metafilter in The Guardian: "She's Dead! Yes!"

feelinglistless — Sat, 06 Apr 2002 11:59:51 -0800

"Meanwhile the internet, as always, provided a sceptical alternative to the reverent coverage of the Queen Mother's death. Too sceptical for some, actually: Americans were among those revolted by certain threads on our own Guardian Unlimited website, where conversations began "Queen Mum Snuffs It" and "She's Dead! Yes!" Over at Metafilter one reader commented acidly: 'You have to be pretty sick to get off on the death of a 101-year old woman. But then, they are Guardian readers...' Oooh get you!"

Metafilter mentioned again in today's 'Web Life' section of 'The Guardian' [more inside]

How to wonder if someone is dead

rodii — Sun, 18 Nov 2001 09:47:32 -0800

The "is palegirl dead?" thread was probably not a good idea. I think of rebekah as a friend, though we have only exchanged a few emails over the years here, and I was alarmed (and still am, a little). I imagine other people were worried too. How to handle threads like these?

just an excuse for people to mourn their own future demise

rcade — Fri, 29 Jun 2001 09:33:34 -0800

I'm not knocking the people who posted the threads, but does anyone else feel like every online discussion about a death is really just an excuse for people to mourn their own future demise (complete with overstated praise for themselves and why-God-why lamenting)?