MetaTalk posts tagged with etiquette

What is the accepted etiquette for asking multi-part questions to AskMe?

jonesor — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 05:04:15 -0800

I'm pretty sure that this has been asked before, but I can't find the post. So, what is the accepted etiquette for asking multi-part questions to AskMe? I'm moving to a different country soon, so understandably I have a heap of questions about how to get things done there. These questions range from things like, "how do i get the internet installed at my new home?", "how do I set up a bank account?", and "how do I buy and register a car?", to the more trivial, "is there a NetFlix equivalent?", and "what's good to eat in my new homeland?" with several others in between. Clearly I could ask these as separate questions, but it would be more efficient to ask in a single post, especially given my timeframe. Advice please.

Rules of Relationship Filter

battlebison — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:07:51 -0800

A few recent threads on MeTa have made me wonder, what's the stance on relationship filter questions in AskMe? I should maybe include a disclaimer: I don't like relationship filter-y questions. I feel like they take up more than their fair share of AskMe and often wish there were some negative tags feature, like "All but relationship-related posts". That said, I'm not trying to really shake things up or change things. I'm just looking for an official word on what the stance is so that I know what to flag and what are reasonable questions for me to ask. I've read the FAQ and I've searched the site but I haven't been able to find any official word as of yet. Maybe because exactly what defines "relationship filter" is kind of arbitrary? Or is it too polarizing a topic to try to regulate at this point? This could have been a private message to one of the mods, but I figured I'd make it public for any discussion or thoughts.

AskMe Etiquette

zarq — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:19:59 -0800

Making recommendations against a physician or business on AskMe? In this post, anonymous is looking for a gastroenterologist. I had a terrible experience with a gastroenterologist in NYC a few years back, who failed to test for or diagnose an underlying gallstone problem while treating my esophageal reflux. Wound up in the hospital for emergency surgery. I don't have an axe to grind, but do think anonymous might benefit from a mild warning about the physician, with a "ymmv" disclaimer, of course. Is it kosher to do that in the thread? Obviously, I can't MeMail anonymous.

Please take it easy

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 14:14:42 -0800

If you can, please kindly refrain with the judging anonymous in this AskMe thread. Just a personal request to cool it just down a notch. The asker seems to understand enough to acknowledge the mistake he made and probably would be better off with factual answers.

Is it OK to bring up someone's meta-history?

desjardins — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 08:10:15 -0800

When, if ever, is it appropriate to bring up someone's past posts or comments? Does the etiquette vary by subsite (green/blue/gray)? This isn't a callout; I just haven't seen it discussed here.

Burn jokes? Seriously? Did Fark buy Metafilter?

Kickstart70 — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 21:17:29 -0800

"[many comments removed - can we try it again without knee jerk mormon and burn victim jokes, please? MetaTalk is your option.]" AARGH! About 3 years ago I was reading Fark. Someone posted a very touching story about a little girl who was doing charity work and making a difference. She had a rather extreme facial "strawberry" birthmark. Farkers, being Farkers, did what they do and the whole thread turned into a cesspool of making fun of a girl for being born "wrong". Eventually, the owner of the site laid the hammer down, banned some people, eventually deleted the thread. I had assumed that Mefites were a whole lot better than that. Apparently I was wrong. Of course, not everyone is being a dickhead, but for those who were...I think there are plenty of great usernames still available on Fark, should you want. If Fark is too controlled for you, go to 4chan. If that doesn't work, then find something worse. I don't ever think making fun of burn victims or those born with a deformity is going to be welcome here.

Fucking Wannabe.

jonmc — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 07:23:26 -0800

This is NOT me. Whoever it is it's kind of sad, although they're welcome to hate me if they want, but I think we can agree that impersonating someone to harass others is kind of beyond the pale.

It's not like I was asking him to put on pants.

grapefruitmoon — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:44:29 -0800

MeetUp Ettiquette: I know that the mods are not our moms and will not be present at meet-ups, but are there any basic ground rules (and/or can we establish some) to govern interpersonal interactions at meet-ups? I have epilepsy and can not be around flash photography. I mentioned this in a Boston meet-up thread, and was responded to by a user who said that this was going to be "interesting" as he was definitely using flash. Several people, myself included, hoped he was joking. The second response was that he was going to avoid this "crisis" by attending another location. I tried MeMail with this specific user to no avail. I can not for the life of me understand why someone would insist on doing something to a complete stranger and fellow MeFite that will *knowingly* physically harm that person. I have no idea what my response even should be at this point, but I'm inclined to think that forgoing future meet-ups might be my best bet - just as I would never go to a party where I knew there was going to be a strobe light, I'm not going to attend a meet-up if "No flash" is an unreasonable request.

Get Your Own Blog. Well, Perhaps I May...

Cool Papa Bell — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 09:20:39 -0800

Etiquette call: Using one's own comments on one's own blog? Let's say I started my own blog. On my blog, in addition to other content, I decide to "graduate" some of my MeFi comments to my own blog, where, theoretically, they get a different audience. For example, in yesterday's Palin thread, I decide to reprint my own comment on my own blog, sans anyone else's content, and linking to the freely available Washington Post column that the post linked to. I would be diligent in ensuring that only my MeFi contribution would be re-posted this way. Kosher or no? I can see valid arguments on either side.

Cool? Not Cool?

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 07:49:02 -0800

Question regarding the use of AskMe: Is it appropriate/not appropriate to ask a question regarding the reputation of a specific company? I'm thinking about using a considerably cheaper data recovery company but would like to ask if anyone has had experience with them. Cool? Not cool? I know there was a similar thread about this but can't seem to find it.

Message Etiquette

Tchad — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:37:46 -0800

Is there an etiquette about sending notes to mefites you have not met? This seems to be too basic for an Ask Mefi (I used mine up yesterday anyway) but I was wondering about contacting members I have not met or have not interacted with on the site. Yesterday, after a couple of good responses that led me to my answer, I sent a brief note to thank them. I am assuming this is fine based on their responses. But what if I have a quick question and know (based on their responses on the site and their profiles) that it is possible to go to the source and ask a question. Is this ok? Is it a bother? I am not talking about weird personal questions, but rather "Have you read x? Would you recommend it? Any other directions I should be going?" Curious.

MetaTwitter? (or, Kill It While It's Young)

hippybear — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 20:54:08 -0800

Is the @ tag really welcome in MetaFilter? I've seen at least one MeFi thread with a derail about people using the @ sign to address others, rather than linking to the comment being responded to or other ways of addressing co-MeFites. Is the use of this really a welcome development? It feels somehow cheapening (to me), but then, I'm not a Twit (or is that Twat?), and would prefer to see its conventions stay there and not infect EVERY corner of the series of intertubes. Is it unreasonable to want to stamp out the @ as a form of reply indicator? If so, how can we discourage this?

Will you please clarify linking etiquette?

cranberrymonger — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:45:45 -0800

Is it considered acceptable to link to users so I may see their activity? Most of the people I have links to are some MeFites I spoke with at a Toronto meetup. There are a couple others with whom I collaborated on threads that I think we both found interesting. However I've noticed other users because their posts frequently strike me as wise or funny or otherwise worthy of note. I've never interacted with some of them (IRL nor online). Is it okay to link under these circumstances? Thank-you, I appreciate that this part of the site exists as it's nice to run uncertainties past the group.

Lolsuicide!

TomMelee — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:26:48 -0800

Not so much a callout to thread behavior as a..."really?" This is the thread in question. Completely ignoring the meat of the article, I'm kind of shocked and saddened by the "LOL RAILJUMPAR" attitude of a couple folks in the thread. I'm sure it's because my friend took his own life last summer, and I'm even more sure that most people don't care. The decision making progress when one chooses to take their own life isn't about selfishness or even a preoccupation with sadness---it transcends what most mentally-well people can even understand. So maybe that's why we make fun, because it's socially unacceptable to kill yourself, and we don't understand it, and it scares us because it's so very far from what we'd ever do. But the discussion as a joke? I look at it as threads of humanity shining through in the darkest moments of the end of a soul. Nothing matters, because I'm killing myself...but I'm still taking off my shoes. It's the note of finality, I think. I don't know, I'm rambling. That's just one of those threads that sometimes really surprises me, didn't expect that reaction...here.

What the dilly yo?

LilBucner — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 05:53:59 -0800

Why was my post bumped? It was the one about Phish playing Fenway on 5/31/09; included a link to the video on Phish's front page featuring the Fenway organist, who happens to be someone I know. I thought the video was cool, regardless of the general musical tastes of MeFites. What's up? Just looking for some clarification, as I thought it was a decent post.

Was this FPP really THAT Farkish?

ZenMasterThis — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 20:12:59 -0800

Was this FPP really THAT Farkish? We were having fun and lively discussion about sexism, consumerism, standards of beauty and grooming. Cortex: Perhaps you were a little heavy-handed on this one?

How long do we let the ghosts haunt us?

ThePinkSuperhero — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 21:01:23 -0800

"Thoughts from a former member" and and a rebuttal. A debate on comments via proxy. Brandon Blatcher suggested hashing this idea out in Metatalk, so here it is. I'm interested to hear community feedback on this issue. Do we consider it appropriate for those who are no longer members of the site to post via proxy? If so, under what circumstances?

Where to post a request to fill out a survey?

k8t — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:35:27 -0800

If I want to ask MeFites for help on a friend's survey for her dissertation, where is the proper place to post it, if anywhere is the proper place to post it?

Your tags are bad and you should feel bad

carsonb — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:20:54 -0800

What to do about crap tags? Is there any recourse if one thinks a post has crap tags? For instance, this post has only one tag, Huffington, which has nothing at all to do with the subject of the post. The poster has no contacts, so there isn't any opportunity for another user to add tags. What's the best course of action here? Comment in the thread? Flag it? (Which flag then?) MeMail? Contact the mods directly? Get a life? I'll take my answer off the air, thanks.

Help me give more helpful answers on AskMefi

giggleknickers — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:54:24 -0800

How can I answer Mefi questions more helpfully? It seems to me that there tend to be a lot of unhelpful answers on Mefi. Not to complain, because there are loads of wonderful, helpful people here, and because I know I'm guilty myself. I would simply like to think about how I could be more helpful and not clutter up threads with unnecessary or annoying answers. The guidelines mostly cover how to ask questions, not how to answer them. I'm trying to look at all the things that make an answer annoying and unhelpful, so I can avoid it myself (and I know I've been guilty in the past and probably will again once in a while in the future despite my efforts). For instance, if someone asks: I'm on the Snoogily Donglewonk Diet and I heard it's good to do low intensity exercise when you're on this kind of diet. Is there any data on how much I should exercise? I don't have time to do more than an hour a day. I imagine some of the answers will be as follows: 1) Unsolicited advice (by far the most annoying and also the most common annoyance). My brother's cousin's aunt's friend's chiropracter's goldfish didn't have success on this diet. Don't do that diet! I know there are some instances where this might be appropriate, for instance if someone is going to unknowingly do something dangerous or illegal, but most of the time it is just annoying and derailing. I understand the urge, though! 2) Haven't read the whole question. Try doing two hours a day. 3) Not even trying to help. If you didn't want to get fat, you shouldn't have eaten so many cupcakes LOL! 4) Guesses from those who have no more information than the asker (when the asker was seeking information rather than ideas or opinions). I never heard of the Snoogily Donglewonk Diet, but half an hour a day, I guess? 5) Claims that the question is not valid. Why are you worrying about your weight? Just accept it. So those are the kind of responses I am going to make every effort not to make myself, which I can also use in situations outside Mefi. What other kinds of responses should I avoid making? Please don't link to examples or mention usernames. No naming and shaming, please! Please!

First They Came for the AskMe Questions About Rectal Porn...

davidstandaford — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:35:21 -0800

People who choose to complain about a question instead of trying to answer it are bad enough as is, but it was so excessive for this question about porn that the question itself got deleted and I think that's really inappropriate. What was especially egregious about this example was the question was an anonymous question, which means a moderator had already approved it for Ask MetaFilter. But instead of letting well intentioned people try to help the question asker, people came in to complain about the question itself and ruined it. If you don't have a helpful answer for the question, then don't answer it. If you must, flag it, email a mod, or post to metatalk. Because of the nature of metafilter, it only takes a small number of people shitting in a thread to ruin it for everyone. And while metafilter isn't a democracy (and rightly so), this is an especially annoying example because it only takes a tiny tiny minority of people to ruin a question. There are lots of questions that a small number of people might object to for some reason and they could easily ruin all of them if they wanted (or at least require a ton more work by the moderators) and I think with examples such as this we should discourage that type of behavior and chastise those people who engage in it. [I realize that it's possible that this question also accumulated a ton of flags and it was deleted solely for that reason. It's hard to tell from the deletion reason whether jessamyn is referring to the answers posted or flags that might be used on the question, but even if it was massively flagged, that doesn't excuse poor behavior by the people who answered the question. And even if it was flagged, I still think it was a fine question and people who don't like the question can skip it and answer something else.]

Palmer v. Jones

lord_wolf — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:41:10 -0800

When is it okay for the sexiness/attractiveness of a woman to be discussed? The Amanda Palmer post versus the Grace Jones post. First: I'm not accusing anyone of anything or trying to call anyone out. I'm just curious as to why there was a (heavily favorited) comment fairly early on in the Palmer discussion and its subsequent MeTa thread complaining about people opining on Ms. Palmer's appearance and/or whether they'd have sex with her while there's relative silence from folks concerning I'd hit it/not hit it comments in the Grace Jones post -- even though it includes similar comments (including the always fun to read and hear thoughts about how simultaneously "intimidating" and sexy strong black women are). Looking forward to hearing your opinions. Cheers.

Please take your marketing rollouts somewhere else

nax — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:16:00 -0800

Hey, Non Prosequitor, mrgrimm wants me to ask you if you work for The Atlantic, as I accused your somewhat uninteresting post of being part of the marketing roll out for The Atlantic redesign. So, are you just a fan, or are is it all part of some master plot?

Long time listener first time caller

mippy — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 12:39:51 -0800

Jumping the snark I'm new to MeFi, mainly posting in AskMe (it's fascinating). Today I came across something I thought was interesting, posted it up, and copped some flak. Is it 'cause I unwittingly picked a topic there'd been three threads about before, because I inserted a link to a blog I like as a 'bonus', or just a different style (copped a comment on the structure of my post intro). I've lurked a bit and post a lot on a UK current-affairs messageboard which is pretty cutthroat at times - is it just MeFi takes a bit longer to settle into? And yeah, I'm aware there are people online who just like a good ol' bitch. I like it here and I wanna stick around a bit.

Cool or Not Cool?

pjern — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:39:18 -0800

Do we really want to post links to known IP thieves? I'd sort of like to get a consensus over whether posting links to certain sites is considered OK, of whether doing so (driving traffic to their sites) implies condoning their ethics. Certainly it would be simple enough to add a filter for certain sites, to pre-call them out and let posters look for more legitimate sources for their links.