"Oh god, no, I can't believe I clicked!" May 27, 2007 6:21 AM   Subscribe

Can one of you kind admins please go in and put a spoiler alert in the link to this thread?
posted by jbickers to Etiquette/Policy at 6:21 AM (37 comments total)

You're kidding, right? I mean, the question on the front page asks about fictional character deaths. You couldn't possibly expect that the folks posting answers might write about, I don't know, fictional characters dying?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:26 AM on May 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


Regardless, it's chatfilter.
posted by piratebowling at 6:51 AM on May 27, 2007


Yes, I fail to see how that could not be pure chatfilter. There's no problem to be solved, just "share something". And the implication that no TV show could possibly be called true art that would be remembered in 100 years is just the trollbait icing on the cake.
posted by Rhomboid at 6:55 AM on May 27, 2007


This is stupid - fictional characters don't die, they merely peacefully await their reincarnation in a sequel, prequel or racquel (the latter involves a fictional work in which the dead character in question comes back to be played by Racquel Welsh).

The point is, there are no "spoilers" anymore, because you never know when Kirk's gonna come back again thanks to some kind of space/time vortex. That's the beauty of postmodernism - if a character dies in one text, then at the very least they just turn up in fan fiction fucking Spock on the holodeck.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:10 AM on May 27, 2007 [10 favorites]


deleted as chatfilter
posted by mathowie (staff) at 7:19 AM on May 27, 2007


Carmela dies (disease), Tony Soprano lives (he's in jail), AJ dies, Meadow eventually runs the family.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:33 AM on May 27, 2007


Here's a spoiler: Everybody dies.
posted by carsonb at 10:36 AM on May 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


No, no, no. Meadow realizes that island was special and they desperately want to go back to the island, even to the point of flying repeatedly across the Pacific hoping for another plane crash.
posted by geoff. at 10:57 AM on May 27, 2007


And they're all made into Soylent Green.
posted by wendell at 11:41 AM on May 27, 2007


Optimus Prime dies.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:46 AM on May 27, 2007


Which is then revamped after careful review by web professionals into Soylent White.
posted by cortex (staff) at 11:46 AM on May 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


His girlfriend has a penis, but he doesn't mind and goes to prison for him/her.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:47 AM on May 27, 2007


They never get off the island. They never run out of coconuts. They never procreate either.
posted by ardgedee at 11:49 AM on May 27, 2007


The Yearling.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:34 PM on May 27, 2007


Chatfilter, sure, but still a great thread to start you thinking.
posted by misha at 1:21 PM on May 27, 2007


Travis kills Old Yeller.
Juliet isn't really dead, but Romeo thinks she is and kills himself. When Juliet wakes up and finds Romeo dead, she kills herself too.
This thread is closed.
posted by Floydd at 2:05 PM on May 27, 2007


This thread is closed.

Don't spoil it for me.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:10 PM on May 27, 2007


You die, she dies, everybody dies.
posted by Gator at 2:14 PM on May 27, 2007


I don't. Not so far, anyway.
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:53 PM on May 27, 2007


Bill gets killed.
posted by Tuwa at 2:58 PM on May 27, 2007


I don't. Not so far, anyway.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:53 PM on May 27 [+][!]


Col. Mustard in the library with the wrench.
posted by Tuwa at 3:00 PM on May 27, 2007


CHATFILTER! CHATFILTER! BURN THE HOBBITSES!

Lighten up, people.
posted by frogan at 3:51 PM on May 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yeah, that was a nice thread. How could you ask that question so it wouldn't be chatfilter?
posted by RussHy at 4:40 PM on May 27, 2007


"I am writing a novel in which I want to kill fictional characters..."
posted by flashboy at 5:07 PM on May 27, 2007


"Dear AskMetachat: ..."
posted by cortex (staff) at 5:13 PM on May 27, 2007

All the soldiers
They're all gonna die
All the little babies
They're all gonna die
All the poets
And all the liars
And all you pretty people
You're all gonna die
posted by edgeways at 5:56 PM on May 27, 2007


I have not, so far, died. So this whole "everybody dies" is mere speculation.
Completely unsupported by any actual observation.
posted by signal at 6:49 PM on May 27, 2007 [2 favorites]


Hmm. How is that thread any more chatfilter-y than this one? If the original thread had been phrased "I'm looking for books with character deaths that emotionally impact the reader", would it have been allowed the same way all the "I'm looking for a song/book with this feature" threads are?
posted by Phire at 7:03 PM on May 27, 2007 [2 favorites]


My main complaint with that thread is that it could have been OK if people knew how to allude to affecting deaths in stories without literally revealing the who and the how.

Saying "it was pretty intense when [REDACTED] dies in Six Feet Under" ruins the show for people still sifting through the DVDs, and it has no benefit over simply saying "there's a major character death on Six Feet Under," which communicates everything to the people who actually know what happened. And if you want to say more, you can say that there's a major character death, and then say "SPOILER WARNING" and then go to small text or something for further details.

The question itself could have used more detail, but I didn't think it was much more ChatFilter-y than, as pointed out above, those "I'm looking for songs with this feature" threads, which I also enjoy. I'd be interested in carefully reading about different memorable deaths, or in which books/movies/etc. these happen.

But I understand completely why it got deleted, too.
posted by Sticherbeast at 8:00 PM on May 27, 2007


Comment always made in threads about spoilers writes "Here's a spoiler: Everybody dies."

Response always made in threads about spoilers writes "It's only a spoiler if you don't know it's going to happen. We know everybody dies. So that's not a spoiler."
posted by Bugbread at 8:14 PM on May 27, 2007


I'm glad you came through with that response, bugbread. I was beginning to lose hope there for a while, and thought maybe I'd have to lay it out myself. Cheers!
posted by carsonb at 8:53 PM on May 27, 2007


I die in 2047, crushed by a rogue wedge of Bundt cake with a tangy lemon demi-glace.
My demise is followed by tribute albums, commemorative bobble-heads, and a general sense of cultural ennui.
Out of respect all cupcakes are banned.
posted by Dizzy at 9:13 PM on May 27, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh, and in a fit of grief my son legally changes his name to Jar-Jar.
Little fucker.
posted by Dizzy at 9:14 PM on May 27, 2007


This is your right, that's your left. This is your right, that's your right. This is your left, that's your right, this is your right, now you're gunna die.
posted by Citizen Premier at 2:44 AM on May 28, 2007


My demise is followed by tribute albums, commemorative bobble-heads, and a general sense of cultural ennui.

A deep national malaise sets in and can't be shaken. Flags are lowered. Marmalade is banned in the kingdom for two score years.
posted by psmith at 10:08 AM on May 28, 2007


the quidnunc kid: This comment is when I wish I had a blog to post funny shit on! :)

The point is, there are no "spoilers" anymore, because you never know when Kirk's gonna come back again thanks to some kind of space/time vortex. That's the beauty of postmodernism - if a character dies in one text, then at the very least they just turn up in fan fiction fucking Spock on the holodeck.
posted by ranglin at 8:00 PM on May 28, 2007


Tuwa - Don't you go around accusing my Uncle! Anyway, I reckon the Reverend Green is looking a bit shifty. And has anyone seen my candlestick?
posted by MrMustard at 1:27 AM on May 29, 2007


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