A creep who knows how to register a domain is still a creep June 30, 2009 2:39 PM   Subscribe

I don't see why this post hasn't been deleted...

Maybe there's something that I'm missing.

From here it seems like part of ongoing harassment/stalking. Not what should be on Metafilter.
posted by kathrineg to Etiquette/Policy at 2:39 PM (74 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

This comment perfectly sums it up.
posted by shakespeherian at 2:46 PM on June 30, 2009


Yeah I really get uneasy with the "crazy person behaves badly, let's all roll our eyes at them" especially when there's a target that's sort of getting the brunt of it. I did a quick chat with mathowie and yeah, we decided to remove it.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 2:49 PM on June 30, 2009


The right call, I would say. Thanks.
posted by jokeefe at 2:55 PM on June 30, 2009


I didn't flag it or anything but the actual post did rather creep me out. Just way too one-way (ie: only one side of the story, and selectively reported at that). And the comments reflect it. There's nothing to discuss really, other than missing subtext ... and all manner of extrapolations from there, too many of them touching on ridicule and/or humiliation.

Dig up her side of the story or find a few other examples of Victim-Blogs and it might get some traction ... but sorry, only interesting for the wrong reasons.
posted by philip-random at 2:57 PM on June 30, 2009


Dis guy is KA-RAY-ZEE.

Perusing his site, it's clear that the woman in the story linked isn't the only one he's weird and stalkerish over. He's worse when he's talking about Charleen:

For me, it’s a love that will not die. It’s merely become quiescent for the rest of my life because she no longer loves me. I wonder what, if anything, will happen beyond life, and how that might be different if I manage to fully love someone else in this life.

A lot of people think they’ll get their heaven after they die, but I’ve already had mine. It really was that good. The only thing that could have been better would be for her to have had angel wings she could have wrapped around me when she held me....and for us to have been together forever. I would have loved her forever. No, more than that...forever and a day. And for me, that is the greatest, most personal truth in all of life.


Gah. Frightening in its lack of emotional connectedness. One wonders if this person is some sort of sociopath.
posted by koeselitz at 2:58 PM on June 30, 2009


Before I checked the link, I thought this would have been about the Big Dog Thread. I didn't really check the subject article, and stopped paying attention after the comment about the link being the Timecube of bad personal relationships.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:00 PM on June 30, 2009


He's big on the holding, that one.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:01 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I'm having doubts it's even real. It seems odd that someone this old would torpedo the rest of their life over something this trivial *and* that this one singular story is the only thing they've created on the net *and* it's this frickin' huge. The three taken together seem a bit implausible.

We've seen crazy folks linked here before. They tend to be very prolific. This guy seems to have lots to talk about but this is the only site/topic he's ever done? Add to that the uncharacteristic well formed html, lack of all-caps, etc.
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:04 PM on June 30, 2009


WHOOSH. I feel like I'm reading Notes From Underground here.
posted by koeselitz at 3:06 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


y6y6y6: I'm having doubts it's even real.

I wondered that, too, but this is really not a web site that's just about the chick he's pissed off at that made him feel ‘warm’—he lays out his life story in pretty sharp detail, mostly completely too-much-information-style excessive detail. And the thoughts—they're frequently hilarious, but I wonder if you can make this stuff up:

The best feeling I’ve ever known is to be able to make someone’s fantasy come true just be being the way I am.

…I mean…good god, is that amazing or what? And yet it's not really something a trolling dude would write, I would think.
posted by koeselitz at 3:10 PM on June 30, 2009


Koeselitz, I was thinking the same thing. He's like a Dostoevsky character gone internet.
posted by granted at 3:12 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Yeah I really get uneasy with the "crazy person behaves badly, let's all roll our eyes at them" especially when there's a target that's sort of getting the brunt of it.

Yeah, but towards the end of the thread it looked like the MeFi detective squad was going to swing into action and give him a thorough debunking.

If neither the crazy person nor the target turns out to be real, can we start rolling our eyes again?
posted by the latin mouse at 3:25 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


This is a good and interesting post and it ought to be undeleted.

The last time I came across someone that nutz on the internet was a model castle builder and antisemitic conspiracy theorist who (I gathered by reading between the lines) had suffered some kind of traumatic brain injury and had pages offering help to theoretically existing young people who were also disabled, e.g. how to cope when you're talking to a girl at the checkout and a cop comes around and tries to humiliate you and impress the girl by showing off how slowwwwly he can move.

I'm still kicking myself for not archiving that one.

Anyhoo if this guy is a hoax I'm even more impressed. It has the horrible stink of reality about it.
posted by fleetmouse at 3:27 PM on June 30, 2009


It made me slightly uncomfortable, if only because I've made a few oversharing posts online when very pissed off. However, I have a lot of doubts to it being genuine.

This man is the most nutz I've found on the internet - and possibly genuinely mentally ill - but that site well surpassed him.
posted by mippy at 3:32 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


He's worse when he's talking about Charleen

It's even creepier when he sings about her.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:48 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


what is that i don't even
posted by turgid dahlia at 5:55 PM on June 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


If this isn't real, then the person who wrote it is a literary genius. You have to either be that crazy, or be a literary genius, to write something that crazy.

...Get the Saigon salad topped with seared salmon; don’t even consider anything else; Ms. Lopez would’ve loved it...well, with extra dressing

I agree with the American Psycho comparison, sparked by the restaurant reviews.
posted by jayder at 6:12 PM on June 30, 2009


Please undelete the post — it wasn't your standard "look at this asshole" mental-illness-mockery.

The guy is compelling in a way that deserves as much bean-plating as we can muster.
posted by blasdelf at 6:25 PM on June 30, 2009


Please undelete the post — it wasn't your standard "look at this asshole" mental-illness-mockery.

No, I agree. It was the stalkery aspect that was extra icky. It's one thing to be a totally weird creep and it's totally another to have the subject of your creepery just be some random woman from work.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 6:28 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


It's one thing to be a totally weird creep and it's totally another to have the subject of your creepery just be some random woman from work.

That's how it most often works, sadly enough. I really hope that she has good support in dealing with this, because I found the whole thing worrying (to say the least) on her behalf.
posted by Sidhedevil at 6:38 PM on June 30, 2009


It's not all bad, at least he's got a cause now, something that will eat at him and consume the rest of his life.
posted by mattoxic at 6:55 PM on June 30, 2009


☺☺☺☺☺☺
posted by mattoxic at 7:07 PM on June 30, 2009


Is she accepting donations to a gun fund?
posted by palliser at 7:34 PM on June 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


jessamyn: No, I agree. It was the stalkery aspect that was extra icky. It's one thing to be a totally weird creep and it's totally another to have the subject of your creepery just be some random woman from work.

Yeah, I'll probably gawk at this on my own, but I don't see any particular need to give this wacko any airtime. Besides, I get the feeling he really isn't hoping for an audience; he seems perfectly happy all alone with his weird feelings.
posted by koeselitz at 7:36 PM on June 30, 2009


If it's fake, it's a work of genius-- the filenames and directory structure are all fucked up, just how iWeb-using amateurs do it. Now that's detail.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:40 PM on June 30, 2009


It's even creepier when he sings about her.

Colbert with eyeliner = Robert Downey, Jr.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 8:37 PM on June 30, 2009


I found the whole thing creepy. Somebody on the deleted thread mentioned American Psycho, and that's exactly what I was thinking. I hope it's fake for two reasons: first, I would be very impressed with the level of detail and insight and second, because if this is real, I fear that this person's weird behavior will escalate.
posted by ob at 8:41 PM on June 30, 2009


It's got to be a fake. He has a pitch buried somewhere in his website about how he should be hired as a consultant for $250/hr and 3 sentences later says he's in the mile high club, which he knows we were wondering (!!!). If he were 20 years old, I'd think, "kids today...poor dufus really should take that down," but as someone apparently in his late 40's/early 50's he thinks this is a good idea? The guy's name isn't a basically ungoogleable John Smith or something, so it had to at least occur to him that prospective employers/romantic partners might come across that shit via Google. I have to assume that someone with 25 years of experience as a developer knows about Google, even though he apparently knows very little about website design.

But if he is real, I say this: damn you, Mr. Mickle, for the rampant overuse of the semicolon in the restaurant review section.
posted by Maisie at 9:01 PM on June 30, 2009


Please close this thread before it becomes more of the same.
posted by ODiV at 12:06 AM on July 1, 2009


I don't even know if this is possible.. but just in case this is true, can/has the Mod Squad contact local police or something and make sure this woman knows what is going on here?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:14 AM on July 1, 2009


Or just track her down and tell her yourself:
Hello? Is this Anita?
...
Yeah, I just want to give you a heads up: there's some creepy dude on the Internet who seems to be stalking you.
...
No, not me. Some other dude.
...
Fine, two creepy dudes.
Whatever, bye.
posted by ryanrs at 1:04 AM on July 1, 2009 [18 favorites]


It was a sad and creepy thing and I was kind of glad it got deleted - sort of similar to the guy who was looking for his "Goddess" and that guy was enough creepy, oldish white guy for a year or two.

I love the mods. In a polite, boundaries-conscious way.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:35 AM on July 1, 2009


I love the mods.

Their warmth?
posted by mattoxic at 5:35 AM on July 1, 2009


So I was thinking of making a post about this gentleman--He isn't stalking anyone in particular...yet.

Why no?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:46 AM on July 1, 2009


The guy's name isn't a basically ungoogleable John Smith or something so it had to at least occur to him that prospective employers/romantic partners might come across that shit via Google.

Yes, and what makes me a little suspicious of the site's authenticity is that I can't find any other traces of the author's online existence. Or of the subject's. Considering all the details of his (and her) life he provides, that's a little odd. I like rolling my eyes at a netkook as much as the next person, but I insist on 100% organic netkookery!
posted by octobersurprise at 5:51 AM on July 1, 2009


I love the mods. In a polite, boundaries-conscious way.

I love the mods in a boorish, boundaries-oblivious way. TIME FOR HUGS.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 6:21 AM on July 1, 2009 [5 favorites]


Yes, and what makes me a little suspicious of the site's authenticity is that I can't find any other traces of the author's online existence. Or of the subject's.

I said it in the deleted thread and I'll say it again: if this is a work of fiction, it's actually kind of brilliant. Some heavy pruning and editing, and you've got yourself one of those "WTF unreliable narrator" New Yorker short stories.
posted by availablelight at 6:26 AM on July 1, 2009


HUG THEM WITH FIRE

Except they don't go there, but you can warmly hug many MeFites there too.
posted by WalterMitty at 6:48 AM on July 1, 2009


That post gave me the creeps too. Waaaaay too close to my uncomfort zone. I didn't flag it, but I was surprised it stayed up as long as it did.
posted by The Whelk at 8:15 AM on July 1, 2009


I didn't flag it, but I was surprised it stayed up as long as it did.

I know we've mentioned this before, but we don't read the site from top to bottom. If something looks hinky, please use the flagging feature, email us or post something to MeTa.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:32 AM on July 1, 2009


It was on the borderline for me and I'm still kinda flag shy. I resolve to be more flaggy in the future.

what? It's a word.
posted by The Whelk at 8:38 AM on July 1, 2009


Metafilter: I’ve got an economics degree so I know about this kind of thing.
posted by ostranenie at 8:42 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


we don't read the site from top to bottom

slackers
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:51 AM on July 1, 2009


slackers

jealous.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 8:58 AM on July 1, 2009


Absolutely!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:03 AM on July 1, 2009




Metafilter: My mom's got an economics degree so I actually know far more about this subject than I think you can imagine.
posted by applemeat at 9:29 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


I always love how iffy things get deleted but the conversation just continues here.
posted by milarepa at 9:35 AM on July 1, 2009


So if we identify stupid posts about overweight folks w/ HURFDURFBUTTEREATER and stupid posts about Christian excess w/ LOLXIANS, then what shall we call posts of this genre or the "finding my goddess" variety? HURFDURFMIDDLEAGE? LOLFEDORA?
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:41 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


HURFDURFDESPERATELONLINESS?
posted by EatTheWeak at 9:45 AM on July 1, 2009


Unreliable narrator - that's the phrase I was looking for.

HURF DURF NICEGUYSYNDROME
posted by mippy at 10:07 AM on July 1, 2009


Heh. I really like LOLFEDORA.
posted by prefpara at 10:16 AM on July 1, 2009


Ben Pao
www.benpao.com
...Ask for the John Mickle fried rice; it’s not on the menu, but just ask for the regular fried rice with an appetizer of the anise-flavored braised pork mixed in during the cooking rather than at the end


For those of you not following along closely, this lunatic's name is John Mickle. I would pay money to see someone go in and ask for the John Mickle fried rice.

So many details of this are perfect, that I cannot fathom this being fiction. Everything from the name of the workplace (an utterly bland, unexciting, white-collar American workplace) to the little phrases he uses over and over again ("bust a move"), to his confident belief that making this site is a reasonable thing to do, and not an act of utter lunacy ... it is perfect.
posted by jayder at 10:51 AM on July 1, 2009


mippy: "

...This man is the most nutz I've found on the internet - and possibly genuinely mentally ill - but that site well surpassed him.
"

I just read all of that and found it much more interesting than the narcissist stalker of the original post.

Let's just be clear, though. Just because this guy is a "political prisoner" in a mental hospital does not mean that all of us Socialists are batshit insane.

I am off now to break the pig-dog fascist multinational corporations on the wheel of justice and revolution. Only then will I be worthy of her love...
posted by double block and bleed at 10:58 AM on July 1, 2009 [1 favorite]


his confident belief that making this site is a reasonable thing to do, and not an act of utter lunacy

My favorite part is that he sent "much of the material on this website" to the company's CEO, CIO, and HR and legal departments. And of course, was thereafter dismayed when he did not hear back from anyone. Gold, Jerry. Gold.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 11:00 AM on July 1, 2009


I don't even know if this is possible.. but just in case this is true, can/has the Mod Squad contact local police or something and make sure this woman knows what is going on here?

I sent a link to BCBSA and said, "Whether this is a hoax or real, it's probably something you folks should be aware of, because it's pretty derogatory to your organization and its (real) upper management, and it turns up relatively high in Google rankings. And if it is real, there are some serious safety concerns here."
posted by Sidhedevil at 11:08 AM on July 1, 2009 [3 favorites]


That guy makes me feel queasy about going to lunch with anyone. I mean, what if they're just sitting there dwelling on my cellulite or my bra, when they really should be more worried that we're all victims of the biggest hoax in HIStory?

Awe yeahhh... I wondered how long this would take to surface. I'm finally motivated to pop corn, sit back, and just stare.
posted by heyho at 11:46 AM on July 1, 2009


I sent a link to BCBSA

Oooh. Please let us know of any response (the gist, not the detail obvy).
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 12:07 PM on July 1, 2009


No response from BCBSA yet.
posted by Sidhedevil at 2:01 PM on July 1, 2009


I doubt you'll hear anything from BCBSA other than a polite, "Thank you for your correspondence," which is a complete bummer.
posted by Maisie at 2:42 PM on July 1, 2009


I do not think BCBSA is the company in question and I think he changed the names.
I could be wrong, of courses, but dig around and some clues appear that indicate the guy had the sense to alter a few basic facts to avoid detection.
posted by vincele at 3:17 PM on July 1, 2009


Let's just be clear, though. Just because this guy is a "political prisoner" in a mental hospital does not mean that all of us Socialists are batshit insane.

Oh no - I veer toward Socialist myself. I'd love to post that guy up but his (what seems to be) clinical paranoia would make any mocking feel a bit uncomfortable. The Martine McCutcheon article is brilliant, though.
posted by mippy at 7:37 AM on July 2, 2009


That was crazy.
posted by chunking express at 9:14 AM on July 2, 2009


I suspect BCBSA is indeed the correct company, as the guy apparently has a few screws loose and a big axe to grind. On the other hand a websearch for Anita Lopez doesn't turn up anything (and how convenient that the name is very generic), yet my sister has a mid-level position at BCBS and she doesn't come up on any web searches either. So I have no idea. Where are the web sleuths?
posted by crapmatic at 9:57 AM on July 2, 2009


His ex-wife exists. I found her through a pipl search.
posted by anniecat at 10:45 AM on July 2, 2009


Ugh. Well I had found her and now I can't anymore.
posted by anniecat at 10:50 AM on July 2, 2009


This dude is clearly a nutter, but I don't see the stalker-ness or the dangerousness in it. Did I miss something? I'm pretty sure to be a stalker you need to actually make contact with someone who requests that you don't.

It just seems like he's laying out his "case" for wrongful termination and/or his great epic novel...

(The other option is that he is really in a cottage in Vermont, and we are all just figments of his imagination.)
posted by gjc at 4:39 PM on July 2, 2009


This dude is clearly a nutter, but I don't see the stalker-ness or the dangerousness in it. ... It just seems like he's laying out his "case" for wrongful termination and/or his great epic novel...

Maybe. But the URL is anitalopezatbcbsa.com It's really about her and why she won't worship him. For twelve thousand pages: he is more or less god; she's not very smart, good looking, or even interesting. But he feels a warmth. Still she rejects him. Him! And turns their employer against him. Him! (His, yeah, "case" seems to boil down to "I didn't want to loan her a large sum of money, she then refused to work with me -- and probably told our employer a bunch of lies -- so they just fired me!")

I get a scary vitriolage vibe from this kook. What can such a narcissist talk himself into, faced with rejection? The proprieties obviously aren't his strong suite.

But I guess if he sinks his energies into meticulously detaliing his...Prozeß, there'll be less chance of him doing something even more harmful. And his upcoming Opus of philosophy, love, and wisdom will take a lot of time to perfect, so that's good.
posted by Glee at 8:30 PM on July 2, 2009


vincele: I do not think BCBSA is the company in question and I think he changed the names.
I could be wrong, of courses, but dig around and some clues appear that indicate the guy had the sense to alter a few basic facts to avoid detection.


I did see those clues that he's changed a few things, but I doubt he's changed the name of the company; it would make no sense for him to change the name of the company to the name of one of the largest health insurance providers in the United States. If anyone, even someone this crazy, were to change the name of the company he'd worked for, he'd choose something like ‘State Trust Insurance’ or ‘Amalgamated Mutual’ or some generic made-up name, wouldn't he? Seems rather silly to risk litigation for anonymity, doesn't it?
posted by koeselitz at 8:37 PM on July 2, 2009


Okay, I've also passed it along to a Director colleague of mine from BCBS. So creepy.
posted by jeanmari at 12:02 PM on July 6, 2009


Confirmation that the identifying info is correct--company, employee, event photo. What a strange, pathetic man.
posted by jeanmari at 4:42 PM on July 6, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think this calls for a o_O
posted by subbes at 5:15 PM on July 6, 2009


I hope you have deadbolts, Anita Lopez.
posted by the littlest brussels sprout at 5:52 PM on July 6, 2009


Confirmation that the identifying info is correct--company, employee, event photo. What a strange, pathetic man.


Whoa. That's disturbing.
posted by Maisie at 9:51 PM on July 8, 2009


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