I can't believe it's been five years. June 16, 2014 4:46 AM   Subscribe

Happy anniversary to all the spousen/spice/etc.

And a special Happy Anniversary to Brandon Blatcher, and most importantly, Jessamyn, without which NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT AND I KNOW YOU DO.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies to MetaFilter-Related at 4:46 AM (139 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

NONE OF THIS WOULD WOOD HAVE HAPPENED, IF YOU GET MY DRIFT AND I KNOW YOU DO.
posted by gman at 4:52 AM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Is this where I get enspousenated?
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 5:11 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Happy Anniversary to my spouses!

c_a, yes, enjoy your nuptials.
posted by arcticseal at 5:23 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]




I love the Ralph tag
posted by pointystick at 5:46 AM on June 16, 2014 [7 favorites]


Which year is the vibrating gifts anniversary?
posted by Pudhoho at 5:48 AM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Happy anniversary, spouses! It's been another lovely year!
posted by rtha at 5:58 AM on June 16, 2014


St Alia, I thought you hated it! No?
posted by taff at 5:59 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Five years. Huh.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 6:09 AM on June 16, 2014


Is this something I'd need a spouse to understand?
posted by billiebee at 6:11 AM on June 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


Happy anniversary all! Please accept this coupon for a free back rub.
posted by divka at 6:23 AM on June 16, 2014


Great job, everyone!
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 6:38 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Happy anniversary to all of my spice! What lovely people you all are.

Also, if you are feeling lonely and spouse-less on this day (or you would just like another spouse for your collection), feel free to spouse me, and I will spouse you back.
posted by colfax at 6:44 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


It's always awkward when all your spouses are in one room together.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:49 AM on June 16, 2014 [8 favorites]


Happy anniversary, my many-headed spouse-hydra.
posted by Jofus at 6:59 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Happy anniversary, everyone, even if you are starting to kinda show your age maybe a little.
posted by MoonOrb at 7:07 AM on June 16, 2014


St Alia, I thought you hated it! No?

If you can't beat 'em….
posted by cjorgensen at 7:30 AM on June 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


And how long before we try to cheat on our spouse with someone else's spouse and get confused because they're all the same spouse?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:32 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


well, in tradition the alias' spousing posts is my 2nd wedding anniversary. Yep, still happy...
posted by clavdivs at 7:36 AM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


because they're all the same spouse?

Hive spouse.
posted by MoonOrb at 7:38 AM on June 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


Surely speese?
posted by ChuraChura at 7:44 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


St Alia, I thought you hated it! No?

Sometimes people start out being mad everyone's laughing at them, but then they realize that it actually is way more fun to get in on the joke, which is the best of all because then everyone's laughing WITH each other.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:48 AM on June 16, 2014 [27 favorites]


I just got curious and checked - people seem more likely to regard me as a muse than a spouse.

Somehow I secretly think Neil Gaiman is behind that which is actually kind of awesome now that I think about it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:52 AM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Easy there, tiger.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:01 AM on June 16, 2014


Yay, it's enspousenation day! Happy anniversary/welcome to the fold!
posted by EvaDestruction at 8:21 AM on June 16, 2014


Happy anniversary! Wooden beanplates for all!
posted by kimberussell at 8:39 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Five years.

That's all we've got!
posted by curious nu at 8:39 AM on June 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


Sure, start at the end and ruin the fun.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:47 AM on June 16, 2014


Happy anniversary, everyone!

Let the further espousenation begin.
posted by wiskunde at 8:54 AM on June 16, 2014

Easy there, tiger.
I thought the modern term was cougar ?
posted by k5.user at 8:55 AM on June 16, 2014


spice

I see what you did there Alia......
posted by ish__ at 9:16 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Ralph said hi, btw.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 9:17 AM on June 16, 2014 [25 favorites]


AND YET I REMAIN A MEFI SPINSTER.
posted by mochapickle at 9:18 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Great job, everyone!

What ... kind ... of ... job ...?
posted by octobersurprise at 9:19 AM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Mochapickle, I love you like a brother... or a sister... or whatever you are...
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:31 AM on June 16, 2014 [7 favorites]


I like to think that, deep down, we all ain't Ralph.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 9:36 AM on June 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


That bit in the title about five years was a joke right? ... right?

*feels suddenly old*
posted by shelleycat at 9:50 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm always disappointed that more people don't note that I'm their crush, cause, you know, I'm literal that way
posted by crush-onastick at 9:56 AM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!!!!!!
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 7:41 PM on June 17, 2009 [12 favorites −]


Happy Spouseday, Mrs. Bunnies. :D
posted by zarq at 9:59 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


One of my spice has a disabled account. Do I get survivor's benefits?
posted by pointystick at 10:00 AM on June 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


like a brother... or a sister... or whatever you are...

I am a pickle. Just like you.

And hooray to my new spouses! I am a blushing bride-pickle indeed.
posted by mochapickle at 10:00 AM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


I just got curious and discovered I have two spouses.

Is it too late to register?
posted by psoas at 10:06 AM on June 16, 2014


Mostly just a reader, here, so I only have a couple of contacts. When I joined in early 2010, one of the first things that happened was I got spoused by flabdablet. I had no idea what to make of it, and just let it slide. It took me a couple of years to stumble across St. Alia's spouse thread and it was the best thing ever.

I love this place.
posted by vortex genie 2 at 10:19 AM on June 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


Oh I have such fond memories of the first Enspousing, it was the first runaway Meta thread I took part in and I could just hit refresh all day cause I was on SO MUCH PAIN MEDICATION for getting all four of my wisdom teeth pulled. Just a bloody mouth and Metafilter. Perfection.
posted by The Whelk at 10:25 AM on June 16, 2014 [10 favorites]


I would also like to jump in on the enspousening. Please feel free to add me, and I will add you back. And maybe rub your back.

Happy anniversary!
posted by sara is disenchanted at 10:34 AM on June 16, 2014


I have a tendency to enspouse (or encrush) anyone who clearly, unambiguously asks.

So I really have no clue who most of my spouses are. (And it's all good cuz I get along with them better than my ex.)
posted by Michele in California at 10:38 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


weird. I got married IRL right around the same time this went down.
posted by Hoopo at 10:43 AM on June 16, 2014


Checks profile. Sees noone linked too. Feels empty. Hollow.
posted by chasles at 10:51 AM on June 16, 2014


Oh chasles! You introduced me to maple-chocolate last year -- if that doesn't make for a good mefi spouse, I don't know what does. Enspousenated!
posted by mochapickle at 10:57 AM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


YAY!! This brings me absurdly more happiness that really care to admit!
posted by chasles at 11:02 AM on June 16, 2014


The spouse must flow.
posted by mochapickle at 11:09 AM on June 16, 2014 [20 favorites]


Still have no clue what is meant by it....
posted by dfriedman at 11:47 AM on June 16, 2014


joyeux spousiversaire!
posted by Namlit at 12:26 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Sara I spoused you.

My new spouse is a hottie firefigher y'all!
posted by 26.2 at 12:26 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


"Just a Bloody Mouth and Metafilter" sounds like the title of a new (very niche) Guy Ritchie movie.
posted by Gorgik at 12:36 PM on June 16, 2014


lots of dramatic jump cuts while typing.
posted by The Whelk at 12:40 PM on June 16, 2014


DFriedman, look at this. (You've already got one.)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 12:46 PM on June 16, 2014


Happy anniversary to all!

Time for some more spouses! We have a new baby now, people, and these diapers aren't going to change themselves.

One of my spice has a disabled account. Do I get survivor's benefits?

Yeah, so since we do have the kids to think of now, it's time to talk life insurance.
posted by medusa at 12:51 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I am the muse of Mistress, which I have always found to be wonderful and amusing as all get out. But I remain a happily unenspousened (unspiced?) MeFite, which is perfectly lovely.
posted by Sophie1 at 12:55 PM on June 16, 2014


We'll see how long that lasts...
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 1:14 PM on June 16, 2014


spouse spouse spouse spouse. Man is that fun to say.
posted by xbonesgt at 1:37 PM on June 16, 2014


"Just a Bloody Mouth and Metafilter"

A book of verses underneath the bough,
a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou
with a bloody mouth, and Metafilter,
and a plan, and a canal. Panama!
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:44 PM on June 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


Happy anniversary to my current and future spouses! I love you all.
posted by filthy light thief at 2:02 PM on June 16, 2014


Happy Anniversary, flt (though this might not really be OUR anniversary, however I would not know what date is, so let's go with this).

And, um, all my other spouses too. ((HUGS))
posted by Michele in California at 2:16 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Happy Anniversary to my spouses -- I'll send you pictures of the piglets, so you can see the little ones! (Waiting anxiously for the farrowing to start; pig mama is a day overdue right now.)
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:26 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Long ago I told my current spouse that the next one would be acquired for money. So, which of you has the moolah, eh?
posted by blurker at 3:30 PM on June 16, 2014


eligible bachelor!
posted by fizzix at 3:56 PM on June 16, 2014


Mouse spouse.

House spouse.

Grouse spouse.

Louse spouse.

Souse spouse.

Douse spouse.

Blouse spouse.

and a less-than-perfect rhyme, MeFi's Own cstross spouse (because he has no MeFi spouses)
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:58 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Happy Spouse Day to Spice!
You are very nice!
But when I found I had 10 of you
It was a surprice!
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:14 PM on June 16, 2014 [7 favorites]


Yeah, checking my contacts list and counting the spice always makes me feel like I just woke up in Las Vegas with a terrible hangover wondering what the hell happened and where did this new spouse come from?

Or to quote "Six Days, Seven Nights": What did I do? And how many times did I do it?
posted by Michele in California at 4:17 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Fifth anniversary? Unimpressive. I can hardly wait for 2016... the Seven Year Itch.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:18 PM on June 16, 2014


Hi Spicen! I snuck a couple more of y'all into my harem. heehee
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:29 PM on June 16, 2014


Colfax I was gonna spouse you but I found our we're already hitched.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 4:30 PM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


I am unenspousened. I do not want your pity enspousening; nay, I shall wither away, non-spoused, alone in my singleness.

*sob*
posted by cooker girl at 4:49 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


There, there, cooker girl. I thee wed!
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:10 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I have enspousenated many of y'all. Please don't feel violated, it just turns out that it's quite addictive. (I do have an addictive personality but don't worry, we can work on it in couples therapy)
posted by billiebee at 5:29 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I find all this enspousenating oddly reassuring and cheerful-making.
posted by mochapickle at 5:34 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Spoused, mochapickle. Because just yesterday someone told me about the existence of chocolate-covered pickles!
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:38 PM on June 16, 2014


Aw, you guys! I'm not gonna lie; I grinned like a fool when I saw all my new spouses!
posted by cooker girl at 5:50 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Oh, haha, Monkeytoes! I had no idea!

I came up with mochapickle during a driving game we invented where you try to come up with the most revolting combinations you can make with just two (otherwise tasty) ingredients. I could have just as easily been tunamint or broccoli-bubblegum.
posted by mochapickle at 5:50 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


I have an advertising jingle for tunamint gum stuck in my head now and it is all your fault.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:02 PM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Oh my gods, the great enspoucening.

I still kind of imagine these threads as mathowie standing in front of a huge crowd and just randomly marrying people as our cult leader. Elizardbits is a lizard in bits, though, and other people have similarly interesting appearances based on user name (Brandon is very, very pale... like he's been Blanched). Were I a better artist, I would draw it.
posted by Deoridhe at 6:09 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Heh. Five years. This made me laugh, in conjunction to my bummer of a MeTa post a couple above it. :-)
posted by mrbill at 6:20 PM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


MochaPickle: "Peanut butter and garlic sandwiches"
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:21 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Happy anniversary, my many-headed spouse-hydra.

ahhh, so this is why there is so much overlap between Lovecraft fans and poly folks
posted by NoraReed at 6:38 PM on June 16, 2014


I feel like I should grill steaks (Portobello mushrooms for all you vegetarians and vegans) and bake potatoes for all of us so we can have a delicious and full-belly evening and delight each other with sparkling conversation. Maybe put some flowers on the table or something. And beer. And confetti. I like celebrations.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 6:38 PM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


I have 13 spouses. But I am still not getting laid. Discuss.
posted by orange swan at 6:52 PM on June 16, 2014


I have 13 spouses. But I am still not getting laid. Discuss.

IRL or on metafilter? BOOM! See what I did there?
posted by chasles at 6:58 PM on June 16, 2014


Aw, bloody hell. I held off because I really worried it was potentially upsetting to St Alia and, well, ...others... and now I'm woefully under-enspouserated. Where can I get them?

Relevant: I'm in Australia, we have different currency and voltage. And spelling. And an idiot prime minister.
posted by taff at 7:08 PM on June 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


Compatibility challenge accepted!
posted by filthy light thief at 7:14 PM on June 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


I have my first spouse. This is a precious day!
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 7:28 PM on June 16, 2014


Now you have another, sweetie. What's for dinner?
posted by taff at 7:33 PM on June 16, 2014


I have 13 spouses. But I am still not getting laid. Discuss.

Have you tried getting at least one of them in the same room with you?
posted by Pudhoho at 7:49 PM on June 16, 2014


Happy anniversary! The spicen must (continue to) flow!
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:55 PM on June 16, 2014


Oh my spice! I can't have nearly enough of you!
posted by zennie at 8:13 PM on June 16, 2014


Happy Anniversary to all the spouses !!

Make new spouses, and keep the old.
Some are silver and the others gold.

posted by marsha56 at 8:46 PM on June 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Happy Anniversary, Speeses!

I continue to enspousenate people regularly when they do something that inspires me to do so. I don't wait for June 17, I just do it. 'Cause that's how I roll.
posted by hippybear at 11:38 PM on June 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


That was one of the most deleriously happy days on the site, ever. Sincere hugs to all my spousen.
posted by Devils Rancher at 2:39 AM on June 17, 2014


happy anniversary spouses, neighbours, acquaintances, crushes, and muses! let's get drunk!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:15 AM on June 17, 2014


And not a single prenup.
posted by FunkyHelix at 4:42 AM on June 17, 2014


And not a single prenup.

Just remember: "If you want to have a stable, healthy relationship, exercise kindness early and often." Let's be good to each other out there, spouses.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:19 AM on June 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


Ooo, BillieBee. Yes, yes I do!
posted by Too-Ticky at 5:36 AM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Gotta clean out my spice cabinet to make some extra spouse.
posted by Namlit at 7:53 AM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Can we get mefi mail to notify us every time we get enspoused or despoused, please?
posted by mareli at 7:55 AM on June 17, 2014


I now have six lovely spouses!

If you need a new spouse, I make perfect steak, delicious pizza, and rockin' vegan food, and I have really cute kitties.

Happy anniversary everybody!
posted by vortex genie 2 at 8:00 AM on June 17, 2014


Relevant: I'm in Australia, we have different currency and voltage. And spelling. And an idiot prime minister.

We too have an idiotic PM and maple scented currency. On the basis of that, consider yourself spoused.
posted by arcticseal at 8:16 AM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Happy anniversary! I have regrets about missing that first thread, it looks like it was such a great time.
posted by Andrhia at 8:22 AM on June 17, 2014


Can we get mefi mail to notify us every time we get enspoused or despoused, please?

I think the fun is not quite knowing how or when. I've quite enjoyed discovering that someone has enspousened me by surprise these past couple of days. It's as gently thrilling as hitting only green lights all the way home or finding a $20 in your pocket on laundry day.
posted by mochapickle at 8:53 AM on June 17, 2014


I'm all in favour of being spoused because spouse sounds kind of kinky. I don't know whether it's in a good way or a bad way. Nevertheless, I promise to be a good spouse if spoused by someone who I agree with, mostly, and if spoused by someone I don't agree with I promise to have imaginary hate conjugual rights in a weird but entirely consensual way.
posted by h00py at 9:14 AM on June 17, 2014


I mean the word 'spouse' sounds kinky. Like spout and something else combined. I know real life spousing is actually not weird at all but I've managed to avoid that up until now.
posted by h00py at 9:16 AM on June 17, 2014


I definitely do not want to know when I get unenspousened. One IRL divorce is plenty for me, thanks. I am very okay with being super secretly rejected by one of my mefi spousen now and again.


Also, orange swan: I think I now have 17 spousen and have probably not been getting laid longer than you. I like to think of it as "people who love me instead of wanting to screw me." I get screwed over enough in life. ;-)

Polymefispousenous for life!
posted by Michele in California at 9:36 AM on June 17, 2014


If you add someone as a crush, you get to say you crushed them. Such small pleasures in life.
posted by theora55 at 9:43 AM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


EvaDestruction: Yay, it's enspousenation day! Happy anniversary/welcome to the fold!

I can't believe you've divorced me already. I really thought we had something.
posted by gman at 10:46 AM on June 17, 2014


just a bloody mouth and Metafilter.

This really is an apt metaphor for marriage.
posted by KathrynT at 12:17 PM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


theora55: "If you add someone as a crush, you get to say you crushed them. Such small pleasures in life."

You have been crushed. But in a really thoughtful and kind way, I promise.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 4:53 PM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


For the sake of sharing the joy, here are the new arrivals, spouses!
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:58 PM on June 17, 2014 [9 favorites]


just a bloody mouth and Metafilter.
This really is an apt metaphor for marriage.
....DTMFA?
posted by nebulawindphone at 4:59 PM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


For the sake of sharing the joy, here are the new arrivals, spouses!

Adorable!

And, honestly, I know I'm naive, but I didn't expect that to be the result of the Great MeFi Enspousening.
posted by MoonOrb at 5:10 PM on June 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


Wah, I don't have any cute baby piglets yet, can I still have some spouses? I will have baby pigs soon ...
posted by librarina at 5:24 PM on June 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Ask and ye shall receive.
posted by Michele in California at 5:27 PM on June 17, 2014


can I still have some spouses?

Seriously, folks, enspousen librarina, because of the awesomeness that is librarina. And because of the baby piggies, SQUEE! Good luck!
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:57 PM on June 17, 2014


MonkeyToes: "Seriously, folks, enspousen librarina, because of the awesomeness that is librarina. And because of the baby piggies, SQUEE! Good luck!"

Enspousenated. Always happy to become a spouse to a fellow mefite.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 6:34 PM on June 17, 2014


I am myself totally not ready for this level of commitment, I just dropped in to wish you all Happy Anniversary. Gee, the place looks nice with all this glitter and confetti. When does the dancing start?
posted by valetta at 12:49 AM on June 18, 2014


Last time this came up I was shocked to discover that I have three spouses. I would like to take this opportunity to express how honoured I feel about this. That's two more people than ever wanted to really marry me, and it won't be long before at least one of these espousinations has lasted longer than my actual marriage. Now I feel like going off and spousing the hell out of a few people. Do you feel lucky, punks?
posted by Decani at 1:11 AM on June 18, 2014


I do!
posted by billiebee at 1:37 AM on June 18, 2014


Five years? That's longer than most real enspousenations, I think.
posted by dg at 6:03 AM on June 18, 2014


Also, I'm spoused to more people than are spoused to me. More evidence that I'm not good at relationships. Probably why I'm getting laid less than orange swan and Michele in California.
posted by dg at 6:10 AM on June 18, 2014


Swans only get laid once.
posted by maryr at 9:41 AM on June 18, 2014


Oh my goodness! I missed this and am now lonely-spice. I'm off to enspousen some unsuspecting MeFites....
posted by notaninja at 9:45 AM on June 18, 2014


Swans only get laid once.

I thought it was eggs that only get laid once.
posted by MoonOrb at 10:05 AM on June 18, 2014


Oh my gosh, please enspice me. I'm not above begging.
posted by woodvine at 12:24 PM on June 18, 2014


Five Years? Who knew it would last this long :)

Happy Anniversary!!
posted by Julnyes at 1:32 PM on June 18, 2014


I thought it was eggs that only get laid once.

Swans come from eggs.
posted by maryr at 7:39 AM on June 19, 2014


makes me ponder what gets laid first, the swan or the egg
posted by Namlit at 9:24 AM on June 19, 2014


Leda
posted by The Whelk at 9:40 AM on June 19, 2014


in which dale got Leda lead on to get laed?
posted by Namlit at 9:42 AM on June 19, 2014


Ohemgee, I am so flattered to discover that Blasdelb is my spouse! And here I thought that my crush-from-afar had gone unnoticed. You charmer, you!
posted by Made of Star Stuff at 4:00 PM on June 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


If you add someone as a crush, you get to say you crushed them. Such small pleasures in life.

If you add them as a muse, are they bemused?
posted by beandip at 6:24 PM on June 19, 2014


Thanks for the spousenating! Here are our new baby pigs. They're half yours too, now, spice!
posted by librarina at 4:58 PM on June 21, 2014 [4 favorites]


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