Followup: first date was a success. November 6, 2004 3:44 AM   Subscribe

Followup: first date was a success. But... um.... [horror inside]
posted by Pretty_Generic to MetaFilter-Related at 3:44 AM (27 comments total)

OK, the date itself, in principle, no problems. We talked all evening, she's stunningly wonderful, I'll see her again soon.

But I mean.

You see, I've only had one girlfriend. I tend not to ask women, you see. I lost contact with that one girlfriend five years ago, when she lived in my home town.

Last night was my first date since then. We went to a classical concert, and afterwards decided to go to Leicester Square for a drink. My date wanted to get the tube, I convinced her to walk, it being a nice night and a short distance.


This throws all my atheistic principles into flux. Motherfucker.

This actually happened.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 3:50 AM on November 6, 2004

posted by andrew cooke at 3:58 AM on November 6, 2004

stranger things have happened. who cares? you'll see again the young woman you went out with, right? who cares then. move on. do not worry, it'll be OK. don't panic.
posted by matteo at 4:00 AM on November 6, 2004

That is just teh funny!

I hope you got to enjoy some firework. (Bonfire night I mean :)
posted by sebas at 4:04 AM on November 6, 2004

Don't be alarmed. Magic happens sometimes. Weirdness. And even coincidence. Or even hints of some sort of divinity.

Almost every love/relationship experience I've ever had has had interesting parallels or apparent anomalies or impossibilities about them. Things that stick out like message beacons, time echoes or something. And moments of timing, and more. Presque vu, jamais vu, and déjà vu.

My intuition gut feeling says that they're not just coincidence, but the shrewd scientists would offer any number of forthright and reasoned and perfectly acceptable explanations. But it kind of takes the magic and wonder out of it.

Try to enjoy it, it's one of the nicer things in life, IMO.

It's ok to be agnostic, too. Many famous thinkers believed that the universe has a creator, though few if any particularly savored dogmas.
posted by loquacious at 4:11 AM on November 6, 2004

Very good. I'm pleased for you. That was Funny!!!!
posted by seanyboy at 4:18 AM on November 6, 2004

Why is this here?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:29 AM on November 6, 2004

what loquacious said. I had quite a few of these crazy-juxtaposition/coincidence things happen with the love of my life in early days... Funny stuff now, but slightly heartstopping at the time.

(...and yes, Tsk! Tsk!)

*secretly enjoying the Pretty_Generic show while tutt-tutting*
posted by taz at 4:57 AM on November 6, 2004

i always bump into people i haven't seen in years at the weirdest moments. also, i didn't know you finally got a date, so, uhm, yay...! you're so cute, i figured it wouldn't take long once you got off your butt and asked someone.
posted by t r a c y at 5:06 AM on November 6, 2004

I, too, have experienced that so-weird-can-it-really-be-coincedence thing...Just thursday evening, I ended up in a conversation with someone outside of work about the candy we loved as children. She mentioned the tootsie roll pop...I remembered them being packaged in a five pack, at the checkout at the grocery store...5 for 25c. I always had to try and convince my Mom to buy them! We agreed that we hadn't seen them in years, I assumed they stopped making them.

Then, yesterday, I wandered into a co-worker's office to discover a 7 pack of tootsie roll pops on her desk, wrapped in an elastic, just like yesteryear! Quite bizarre, and I really enjoyed the purpley-blue one.
posted by Richat at 7:03 AM on November 6, 2004

I once broke up with a woman under unpleasant experiences and in the aftermath (and for many another reason) moved from Philadelphia to San Francisco.

A year went by and our relationship improved, to the point that we were able to talk to each other on the phone from time to time. I was able to accept with some equanimity the news that she had met a great new guy, and that he himself was about to relocate from Philly to California, to take his master's at Stanford.

Another six months go by and the woman calls me to say she'll be in the Bay Area visiting him and it would be great to get together "for coffee." I'm stoked.

On the eve of her arrival, she calls me, not happy, to say that her boyfriend knows that I'm in San Francisco, he's not thrilled about her seeing me, and she's decided it would be better for all concerned if we didn't hook up on this occasion. I reluctantly agree.

Depressed, I call my friend Jeff and suggest that we get out of town. We scrape some gear together, pile into my Honda, and head off to Yosemite for a weekend of getting away from everything.

We're really digging Yosemite the way it was meant to be experienced. We're having a blast. On our second afternoon there, we decide to climb to the top of Yosemite Falls.

Halfway up I notice that there's what appears to be a really cute girl climbing a couple of switchbacks ahead of us, unfortunately with a gallumphing dude by her side, but so starved am I at this point for any kind of romantic happiness I urge my friend to pick up his pace so we can close in on them for a better look. (Yes, men are occasionally this sad-assed.)

I get within a few hundred feet and confirm that, yes, she's really cute, at least from behind, and has great style, especially given the context. I half-subconsciously redouble my pace.

I turn one final switchback...and it's her. The woman who I've been dreaming of for most of the last year, who flew cross country to see her jealous boyfriend, whose jealous boyfriend packed her off to Yosemite with him so she wouldn't have a chance in hell of running into me.

The next hour was one of the best of my life, and, I am quite sure, one of the worst of his.
posted by adamgreenfield at 8:47 AM on November 6, 2004

We went to a classical concert, and afterwards decided to go to Leicester Square for a drink. My date wanted to get the tube, I convinced her to walk, it being a nice night and a short distance. We went across the Thames, and then up to Trafalgar Square...

Man, that sounds like a nice date, though. Good work.

Freaky to see the other girl, but she's history. Acknowledge the weird coincidence and...keep moving.
posted by dhoyt at 9:27 AM on November 6, 2004

My wife and I seem to have attended the same showing of Star Wars in Victoria, BC, when we were but little kids, neither of us living in Victoria, both of us on vacation.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:48 AM on November 6, 2004

Actually, I think it's good that the new person saw an old person you had dated--it reaffirms that you're desirable and in demand (even if you're really not, or if you don't think so).
posted by amberglow at 9:53 AM on November 6, 2004

PG - I'm glad your date went well and that is a really weird anecdote. I hope you can continue to log your quest for love on your member page, or on your own site, or in email to the people who've been responding to this. MetaTalk has many uses, but it's not very well set up to be a long-term dating support group.
posted by scarabic at 10:06 AM on November 6, 2004

posted by Krrrlson at 10:20 AM on November 6, 2004

Interpret it this way- your ex-gf showed up so that the torch could be passed to this new lady. It's a good sign.
posted by mkultra at 10:28 AM on November 6, 2004

Date the current girl, stalk the old flame.

You'll lose them both, but oh the stories you'll have to tell!
posted by justgary at 11:33 AM on November 6, 2004

Can we set up some confidence building seminar/mefi dating service? I don't go out on dates either (but perhaps my situation isn't analogous to p_g, as I'm a hard bar drinking make-out whore.) It seems a number of us could use some romantic advice or a forum to share our mis-adventures since it's very clear to not post this kind of thing on meta!!
posted by elwoodwiles at 12:34 PM on November 6, 2004
posted by DrJohnEvans at 1:32 PM on November 6, 2004

I vote with mkultra. Also, now the new woman knows that you've had at least one girlfriend in your life. Good luck!
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:09 PM on November 6, 2004

Pretty-Generic, I'm smiling! I'm very glad for the follow-up-- I guess you turned into Metafilter's own little pet project.

But as for the coincidence think in statistics.

Total World Population:.........................6,398,712,097
Total Male Population:...........................3,191,383,803
Males between 18 to 40:...........................100,331,801
Who are unmarried:......................................9,874,631
Who went on a first date Friday night:.................17,211
And ran into an old girlfriend:..................................147

So you see? Statistics prove that it had to happen to somebody!

All figures except for the World Population are completely made up. YMMV
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:57 PM on November 6, 2004

hmm. I met a guy I've known online for a few years from a message board completely by accident at a halloween party recently. it was pretty nuts, then we got really drunk.
posted by angry modem at 4:42 PM on November 6, 2004

stavros -- Where else would it go?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:15 AM on November 7, 2004

Perhaps it's time for Tell MetaFilter.
posted by ginz at 11:30 AM on November 7, 2004

I'd been thinking exactly that the other day. F'rinstance, I'd like to tell people that when they get around to bashing the old tile off their old tub surround, they should really protect the tub from damage even if they think they're gonna throw out the tub. 'cause, y'know, if you change your mind it's gonna be too late after the fact.

[goes back to wetsanding the tub, wonders how he'll deal with the deepest chips and gouges...]
posted by five fresh fish at 9:25 AM on November 8, 2004

TellMetaFilter would also be nice for those great questions you come up with that you had thought of posting to AskMe, but then like a good little MeFite you Googled first and actually found the answer. (I've had a few of those, including, "What was the first scandal to which '-gate' was applied as a suffix to indicate a scandal?" A: Koreagate, 1976.)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:13 PM on November 8, 2004

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