Someone wants to help people. The answers? Kill people, kill yourself, kill all the religious people, and stop having babies. People, please. [more inside]
This thread probably needs to be buried.
Maybe it's just me, but if just one more person says that any random amusing, ironic, or unusual news story is "just like something out of The Onion!", then I'm going to be forced to go on a massive, multi-state killing spree, and I'm going to take the time to lovingly spell out "METAFILTER MADE ME DO IT" with my victims' entrails.