Askme callout: going further goes too far? May 25, 2006 10:51 AM   Subscribe

Actual question: As a sensitive, caring, intelligent, non-lecherous male, how do I fuck the shit out of anything that walks, regardless of race, religion, income, social stigma or species? The content of this post makes me want to vomit, but it's the tone that really makes it ick-tastic. Congrats to the original poster, at least you have the prowess to post onymously.
posted by |n$eCur3 to Etiquette/Policy at 10:51 AM (75 comments total)

What's your point? Are you just scolding, 'cause that seems shitty and out of place. But at least you can do it anonymously...
posted by OmieWise at 10:58 AM on May 25, 2006


What's the problem here? You don't like that sensitive, caring, intelligent men still want to fuck the shit out of everything that walks?
posted by bonaldi at 10:58 AM on May 25, 2006


I don't see why you brought it here - he's being told he's a prat in the thread.

Are you saying that questions some readers might find repugnant ought to be deleted? Because it'll be a wee bit tricky to draw a line on that, given that no one can agree on what constitutes overly chatty questions.
posted by jack_mo at 10:59 AM on May 25, 2006


What's the matter with fucking?
posted by underer at 11:00 AM on May 25, 2006


huh? The guy doesn't sound like much of a catch, but hey, he's in his early 20s and many guys are dicks back then looking for action. He doesn't sound like the complete womanizer you describe here, but someone that is oblivious to local culture.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:00 AM on May 25, 2006


Yeah, it's not like he asked where to procure and how to inconspicuously apply rohypnol. It's skeevy, but it's not that skeevy.
posted by prostyle at 11:13 AM on May 25, 2006


Insecure is it possible you need to get laid?
posted by Ryvar at 11:14 AM on May 25, 2006


I just thought that the post was rather unreal as if by troll. And yes, getting laid might help.
posted by |n$eCur3 at 11:16 AM on May 25, 2006


I thought the responses were way worse than the question.
posted by MarkAnd at 11:19 AM on May 25, 2006


As an addendum, "fuck the shit out of" is the most disturbing reference I have ever heard ascribed to doing the deed. I don't see it (or an equatable phrase) anywhere in the original question, for that matter.
posted by prostyle at 11:20 AM on May 25, 2006


I could agree, I could disagree — but I'd rather derail into scolding people who post callouts trying to be witty and clever instead of explaining, in clear and simple terms, exactly what their objection is to the post.

If the first few replies to your MeTa include "huh?" and "What's your problem with that," then you fucked it up. Learn to write. Stop trying to be clever ("ick-tastic") and just say what you mean.
posted by cribcage at 11:22 AM on May 25, 2006


prostyle: you must be joking. I've heard the phrase damn near constantly since I was like 16. Hell, my wife uses it.
posted by Ryvar at 11:23 AM on May 25, 2006


I just thought that the post was rather unreal as if by troll.

You know, I sort of thought that about the call-out too :). Sure, it's all a bit ick, and the guy's being a bell-end, but I think the answers are getting that across just fine.
posted by bonaldi at 11:25 AM on May 25, 2006


Yeah, he just sounds like a sleezy dude. ("Why won't women sleep with me?" is a dumb question in an of itself I suppose.) I don't think it's worth a call out.
posted by chunking express at 11:25 AM on May 25, 2006


Alt-F
posted by edgeways at 11:28 AM on May 25, 2006


I will try to be more clear: I think that the post should be deleted because it is offensive and troll like. The poster writes that people past 30 "are pretty well set on where you're going in life." He must realize that such a statement would rub his audience the wrong way. Not to mention the rest of the post.
posted by |n$eCur3 at 11:33 AM on May 25, 2006


Well, Insecure, I guess he could learn it here ... or in real life. He wasn't getting a clue in real life, so he came here. It's up to you now to teach him.
posted by lester at 11:39 AM on May 25, 2006


I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.
posted by Ryvar at 11:43 AM on May 25, 2006


The poster writes that people past 30 "are pretty well set on where you're going in life." He must realize that such a statement would rub his audience the wrong way.

Irony strikes again. Your criticism of saysthis assuming that people over 30 understand X is to assume that saysthis understands Y. He's 22, obviously naive, and seemingly self-centered. Are you honestly surprised that he feels certain 30 is a magical number that bestows clarity?

Part of becoming a grown-up is the revelation that, in fact, there is no demarcation between "child" and "adult" — no sudden transition, no single rite of passage. Saysthis hasn't made that discovery yet. And if you didn't read that from his question, then I'll offer this advice: The Internet is prone to misunderstandings, and it works much better when everyone assumes good intent.
posted by cribcage at 11:45 AM on May 25, 2006


So, Brisk Rogerings all around then?
posted by Otis at 11:46 AM on May 25, 2006


I sympathize, though. For instance, I have a hard time assuming good intent about anyone who deliberately chooses to use leetspeak for their username. This may just be my failing, though.
posted by Drastic at 11:47 AM on May 25, 2006


you must be joking.

Well yes, I've heard it before many times. My statement still stands, as I have only recalled "the shit out of" used in conjunction with violent terms, which I assume predates and dominates the addition of sexual activities to the fecal-expulsion vernacular. Google has my back, as it doesn't show up until the sixth page of results. I suppose if it's good enough for Arnold...
posted by prostyle at 11:48 AM on May 25, 2006


As an addendum, "fuck the shit out of" is the most disturbing reference I have ever heard ascribed to doing the deed.

How about "fuck back to the stone age?"
posted by COBRA! at 11:49 AM on May 25, 2006


As an addendum, "fuck the shit out of" is the most disturbing reference I have ever heard ascribed to doing the deed.

I fondly remember Dave Sim claiming that he wanted to "fuck Cokie Roberts till her eyes changed color." And this is before he went really crazy.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:49 AM on May 25, 2006


As an addendum, "fuck the shit out of" is the most disturbing reference I have ever heard ascribed to doing the deed.

I think "lets make two minutes of squelching noises" is pretty bad.
posted by ND¢ at 11:53 AM on May 25, 2006


He must realize that such a statement would rub his audience the wrong way.

Appropriately, he's been told multiple times what he should be rubbing instead. Are you just mad that you can't spank him via e-mail, Insecure?
posted by desuetude at 11:58 AM on May 25, 2006


I didn't have a problem with that question except that it was maybe too long.
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 12:00 PM on May 25, 2006


"I fondly remember Dave Sim claiming that he wanted to 'fuck Cokie Roberts till her eyes changed color.'"

I recently heard "I'd hit it so hard it would take the future King of England to pull me out", which I thought was amusing.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 12:05 PM on May 25, 2006


Metafilter: assuming good intent since since 1999. Was it a weak callout: Yes. Am I too sensitive: Yes. I still love you guys though.
posted by |n$eCur3 at 12:13 PM on May 25, 2006


MetaFilter: The guy doesn't sound like much of a catch.
MeatFilter: Two minutes of squelching noises.

Goddamn, these things write themselves!

PST: God, I shudder to think of what Sim would do to her now: "You're stealing my light!!!"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:14 PM on May 25, 2006


Typo completely intentional. Yeah.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 12:14 PM on May 25, 2006


If you thought the post was 'agest' you should have just said that. Not this whiny "oh, this guy likes sex and i don't, wa wa" attitude.
posted by delmoi at 12:32 PM on May 25, 2006


I AM THE FUH KING.
posted by loquacious at 12:41 PM on May 25, 2006


...The content of this post makes me want to vomit, but it's the tone that really makes it ick-tastic...
...posted by |n$eCur3...

The Freudian undertones within this post are hi-larious...
posted by SweetJesus at 12:42 PM on May 25, 2006


So, Brisk Rogerings all around then?

I'm in!
posted by ereshkigal45 at 12:51 PM on May 25, 2006


I think "lets make two minutes of squelching noises" is pretty bad.

Nice Sandman reference.
posted by solid-one-love at 12:52 PM on May 25, 2006


I would LOVE to hear the other person's side of these "engagements".
posted by R. Mutt at 12:59 PM on May 25, 2006


|n$eCur3 writes "The poster writes that people past 30 'are pretty well set on where you're going in life.' He must realize that such a statement would rub his audience the wrong way."

Probably not, he sound like an immature 22yr old. He probably thinks life is essentially over at 35.

mr_crash_davis writes "I recently heard 'I'd hit it so hard it would take the future King of England to pull me out', which I thought was amusing"

I really have to come up with a couple generic answers to my office mates asking "What's so funny?".
posted by Mitheral at 1:00 PM on May 25, 2006


I will try to be more clear: I think that the post should be deleted because it is offensive and troll like. The poster writes that people past 30 "are pretty well set on where you're going in life." He must realize that such a statement would rub his audience the wrong way. Not to mention the rest of the post.

I don't agree with you in the slightest. You clearly had a strong reaction to this post, but there is no way it's as cut-and-dried offensive as you would like to make it out. Let's look at another passage:

"I get plenty of women my own age who are interested, but I don't feel the spark I feel with someone who is secure, intelligent, fun, devoted to something, and able to include themselves and their lives in their sense of humor."

Awww... he sounds almost enlightened. WTF is your problem with this post?

This callout sucks. Kiss the rings, bitch.
posted by scarabic at 1:08 PM on May 25, 2006


It's not troll like unless the

The kid is horny, give it a rest, dork.
posted by tweak at 1:21 PM on May 25, 2006


I didn't find the post offensive. What it boils down to is he can't figure out why women keep getting naked in his bed and then don't want to have sex with him. It seems like a legitimate question. The age comment was a throwaway thing someone very young would say. Yes, he gave *way* more info than was necessary, so the only thing I found objectionable was the length.

Which is not something I usually object to, you know?
posted by iconomy at 1:24 PM on May 25, 2006


wtf comment? To finish my truncated sentence: It's not a troll unless someone responds to it. If you respond honestly to the question and don't react, you have emasculated the troll by dragging it into the light and treating it kindly. Trust me.
posted by tweak at 1:24 PM on May 25, 2006


I find people who enjoy sex frightening and disturbing!
posted by Justinian at 1:31 PM on May 25, 2006


I enjoy frightening and disturbing sex.

That is... I'd like to.
posted by gigawhat? at 1:44 PM on May 25, 2006


iconomy writes "Yes, he gave *way* more info than was necessary, so the only thing I found objectionable was the length. "

Even that is minor though, better too long and TMI than not long enough when it's an anonymous question.
posted by Mitheral at 1:46 PM on May 25, 2006


Whatever else the post may be, it's highly interesting. I'm trying to recall the author of a memoir which claimed that, at a diplomatic engagement of some kind, the Chinese delegates, all high officials of the Communist Party, were competing with stories of what monsters of force of personality their wives were and how terrified and submissive they (the delegates) were at home, while their Japanese counterparts listened visibly(!) aghast.

Our naive's account lends some credence to such a tale; how far do you think you'd have to look in the U. S. to find a group of women with strength of character and sovereignty of will enough that three-quarters of them could get to the point described by this 22 year old and still refuse penetration?
posted by jamjam at 1:55 PM on May 25, 2006


Since the complainant has retracted, maybe it's time to knock off the, "Kiss the rings, bitch," and, "What the fuck, you dork."
posted by cribcage at 2:16 PM on May 25, 2006


Seriously, what good is AskMefi if you can't ask stupid questions? I felt bad for the guy, purely because I knew he was about to have his ass handed to him. Doesn't mean he shouldn't have asked the question though.
posted by lilboo at 2:24 PM on May 25, 2006


I recently heard "I'd hit it so hard it would take the future King of England to pull me out", which I thought was amusing.

That made this thread worthwhile.
posted by ludwig_van at 2:53 PM on May 25, 2006


I think "lets make two minutes of squelching noises" is pretty bad.

Nice Sandman reference.
posted by solid-one-love at 12:52 PM PST on May 25 [+fave] [!]


Jesus, thank you S-O-L. I was wondering where the fuck I had just heard that - I'm catching up on that particular gap in my reading now, and had literally just read that phrase last night and would *never* have made the connection. Thanks!
posted by freebird at 2:54 PM on May 25, 2006


I almost credited it, but if any group of people is going to pick up on a Sandman reference, it is y'all.
posted by ND¢ at 3:10 PM on May 25, 2006


What y'all mean is, "Nice Johnny Rotten reference."
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:38 PM on May 25, 2006


"As a sensitive, caring, intelligent, non-lecherous male, how do I fuck the shit out of anything that walks, regardless of race, religion, income, social stigma or species?"

Someone doesn't understand men at all. Like........ at all.
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:43 PM on May 25, 2006


that three-quarters of them could get to the point described by this 22 year old and still refuse penetration?

Meh, if it weren't somewhat common, we wouldn't have the epithet 'dicktease' to throw around.
/was once a 22-year-old who sometimes prefered making out to fucking, particularly with clumsy guys who thought they were awesome
posted by desuetude at 4:18 PM on May 25, 2006


You know who it'd be easy to fuck the shit out of?

Babies.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 4:42 PM on May 25, 2006


And, scene.
posted by joannemerriam at 4:51 PM on May 25, 2006


I love me some stavrosthewonderchicken :)
posted by freebird at 5:00 PM on May 25, 2006


In general, I find the assumptions and melodrama behind the romance/sex questions from early-20-something MeFites to be terribly amusing. And by "amusing" I mean baffling.
posted by mcwetboy at 7:10 PM on May 25, 2006


I totally love them. Keep 'em coming, early-20-something Mefites. As a member of that group, I'll try to post one soon, even if I have to make shit up ("I'm blind and my sister's boyfriend just knocked me up- HELP!")
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:31 PM on May 25, 2006 [1 favorite]


"Kiss the rings, bitch,"

...being an all purpose addendum to "this [noun] sucks."

An obscure reference, I realize.

I did begin reading the thread, and after 2 also-shrill comments by the poster, I skipped to the end and posted. I guess that's how pile-ons happen.

[kisses the rings]
posted by scarabic at 7:46 PM on May 25, 2006


I'm offended by this callout and the thread it generated, and I ask that it be deleted and closed. Taking |n$eCur3 out and shooting him/her would of course be optional.
posted by davy at 10:29 PM on May 25, 2006


Note: that last bit about shooting someone was a JOKE. Too.
posted by davy at 10:30 PM on May 25, 2006


Actually, props to |n$eCur3 for not responding to all the vitriol that came after he/she withdrew the complaint. Takes his/her beating like a man/woman.
posted by Dunwitty at 11:17 PM on May 25, 2006


Well, sure, although it would seem that the withdrawal of the complaint was a response to an initial surge of "vitiriol," so call it like you see it. A wise response, if slow. And if you're going to admit mistakes were made, it would make sense to keep quiet thereafter, although it is a pain the way jerks like me post scathing screeds even after the original intent of the thread has been disowned. However, considering the assholery of posting such a crap callout in the first place, I'm not sure if keeping one's mouth shut after being chastened for extreme shrillness is, in fact, worthy of "props." Maybe on some level. Some level populated by people who post shrill callouts.

Nice thought, though. I can see where you're coming from with it.
posted by scarabic at 11:42 PM on May 25, 2006


fucking is child's play until you're in your 40's.
posted by quonsar at 4:03 AM on May 26, 2006


maybe it's time to knock off the, "Kiss the rings, bitch," and, "What the fuck, you dork."

. . . but this is what we do.
posted by Ryvar at 5:18 AM on May 26, 2006


I still love you guys though.

We're not going to put out, so don't even think about it.
posted by languagehat at 7:00 AM on May 26, 2006


Says who, languagehat?
posted by ereshkigal45 at 7:46 AM on May 26, 2006


As a sensitive, caring, intelligent, non-lecherous male, how do I fuck the shit out of anything that walks, regardless of race, religion, income, social stigma or species?

So can we get an answer to this question?
posted by agropyron at 7:52 AM on May 26, 2006


So can we get an answer to this question?

Become omnipotent.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:17 AM on May 26, 2006


Madonna is omnipotent?
posted by Ryvar at 8:41 AM on May 26, 2006


Yes.
posted by occhiblu at 8:54 AM on May 26, 2006


She got some babies, right?
posted by xod at 3:12 PM on May 26, 2006


OK, I came late to the thread, but I've (much to the chagrin of my wife) always thought well of "fuck the snot out of."
posted by nevercalm at 6:34 PM on May 28, 2006


Hint: rich people get more sex from more people than other people do.
posted by davy at 12:49 PM on June 5, 2006


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