Not Awesome June 14, 2007 10:26 PM Subscribe
Cleanup in Aisle 62093, please.
*opens mahogany box, removes and unfolds lambskin spanking gloves*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:27 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:27 PM on June 14, 2007
I think it's only right that the crapflooders in that thread be beaten senseless given a good talking to, at least.
I thought about making a metatalk post about this. The crapflooding is incredibly annoying.
posted by puke & cry at 10:42 PM on June 14, 2007
I thought about making a metatalk post about this. The crapflooding is incredibly annoying.
posted by puke & cry at 10:42 PM on June 14, 2007
I completely accept any timeout that is given to me, because I was so punchy by the time someone posted the ascii elephant with "MY SHITZ GOTS PEANUTZ" caption that I laughed for a long, long, long time, so hard I cried, and I haven't laughed like that for a long time. And I needed it.
So it was totally worth it. Any punishment will be cheerful accepted as deserved.
posted by davejay at 10:43 PM on June 14, 2007
So it was totally worth it. Any punishment will be cheerful accepted as deserved.
posted by davejay at 10:43 PM on June 14, 2007
While I fully support your call for extermination, it appears that your plea will fall on deaf ears for the time being. Apparently, today is one of those rare occurrences where the powers-that-be are AWOL and thought nobody would notice. This is exactly why we can't have don't deserve nice things.
All kidding aside, there are lots of people in that thread who should know better.
Oh, and get the hell off my lawn!
posted by dg at 10:43 PM on June 14, 2007
All kidding aside, there are lots of people in that thread who should know better.
Oh, and get the hell off my lawn!
posted by dg at 10:43 PM on June 14, 2007
I agree, there's no excuse for posting big blocks of completely unrelated material.
If you think a thread is going to be deleted, ignore it, or post about it in MetaTalk.
posted by demiurge at 10:46 PM on June 14, 2007
If you think a thread is going to be deleted, ignore it, or post about it in MetaTalk.
posted by demiurge at 10:46 PM on June 14, 2007
Am I not getting through? NO MODS. They are ABSENT. Nothing is being cleaned up nowhere. THIS IS ANARCHY.
posted by nanojath at 10:47 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by nanojath at 10:47 PM on June 14, 2007
Oh, are people complaining about just the massive blocks of useless text? I thought it was about everything in there.
In that case, please mete out unto me the punishment for lousy unfunny comments and one poorly-conceived ASCII Barney Rubble only, please.
posted by davejay at 10:48 PM on June 14, 2007
In that case, please mete out unto me the punishment for lousy unfunny comments and one poorly-conceived ASCII Barney Rubble only, please.
posted by davejay at 10:48 PM on June 14, 2007
That being said I fully affirm this callout. Being a fucking jerk is one thing, doing it in a way that literally fucks things up is quite another.
posted by nanojath at 10:50 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by nanojath at 10:50 PM on June 14, 2007
NO MODS. They are ABSENT.
Do you suppose they're all out camping?
okay, sorry, stopping now. I'm not drunk or anything, just giddy.
posted by davejay at 10:50 PM on June 14, 2007
Do you suppose they're all out camping?
okay, sorry, stopping now. I'm not drunk or anything, just giddy.
posted by davejay at 10:50 PM on June 14, 2007
I am open to being given a good talking to.
Or being beaten senseless.
Frankly, I'm not entirely certain I have the capacity to differentiate between the two.
posted by dersins at 10:51 PM on June 14, 2007
Or being beaten senseless.
Frankly, I'm not entirely certain I have the capacity to differentiate between the two.
posted by dersins at 10:51 PM on June 14, 2007
The spam-flooding was the problem with that thread? Really? It was shit before he even hit 'post'
posted by empath at 10:51 PM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by empath at 10:51 PM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
I agree, there's no excuse for posting big blocks of completely unrelated material.
Right, because a single-link post to a gif of devo with a lolrus-related caption absolutely cries out for informed, intellectual discussion.
posted by dersins at 10:53 PM on June 14, 2007
Right, because a single-link post to a gif of devo with a lolrus-related caption absolutely cries out for informed, intellectual discussion.
posted by dersins at 10:53 PM on June 14, 2007
The spam-flooding was the problem with that thread? Really? It was shit before he even hit 'post'
I think there's a difference between jokey one-and-two line nonsense and HEY LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
posted by dhammond at 10:53 PM on June 14, 2007
I think there's a difference between jokey one-and-two line nonsense and HEY LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
posted by dhammond at 10:53 PM on June 14, 2007
Aw. I hoenstly didn't think about bug blocks being worse than gleeful derails of other sizes. Why is that so?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:55 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:55 PM on June 14, 2007
The whole thread sucked from start to finish.
posted by shelleycat at 10:56 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by shelleycat at 10:56 PM on June 14, 2007
Yeah, the post is shit. Completely worthless garbage that should be nuked immediately. That doesn't mean people should skate for threadshitting.
posted by puke & cry at 10:57 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by puke & cry at 10:57 PM on June 14, 2007
I genuinely wanted to share the classic discourses of Zhu Xi, and felt his account of the interaction between vital force and principle shed light of the later cultural reception of Devo.
posted by Abiezer at 10:57 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by Abiezer at 10:57 PM on June 14, 2007
If you think a thread is going to be deleted, ignore it, or post about it in MetaTalk.
Really?? Post about it because you think it's going to be deleted? Why?
Anyway, no one's tried paging cortex in IRC though I've been sitting there wondering if I should try it.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:59 PM on June 14, 2007
Really?? Post about it because you think it's going to be deleted? Why?
Anyway, no one's tried paging cortex in IRC though I've been sitting there wondering if I should try it.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:59 PM on June 14, 2007
It's like when the teacher left the room back in school in Detroit. No order. Chaos reigned. The difference is that in this case, everyone who threw spitballs has their name attached to it.
posted by The Deej at 11:00 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by The Deej at 11:00 PM on June 14, 2007
I think there's a difference between jokey one-and-two line nonsense and HEY LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
posted by dhammond
As a poster of jokey one-and-two line nonsense, I heartily endorse this point of view.
posted by The Deej at 11:04 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by dhammond
As a poster of jokey one-and-two line nonsense, I heartily endorse this point of view.
posted by The Deej at 11:04 PM on June 14, 2007
Right, because a single-link post to a gif of devo with a lolrus-related caption absolutely cries out for informed, intellectual discussion.
The fact that the post was bad caused you to paste the contents of timecube.com into the comment box? Have a little self control.
Really?? Post about it because you think it's going to be deleted? Why?
If you must feel the need to post about a post, isn't the correct place MetaTalk? Not that I'm really encouraging it, but if you feel the need, there's an appropriate place.
posted by demiurge at 11:05 PM on June 14, 2007
The fact that the post was bad caused you to paste the contents of timecube.com into the comment box? Have a little self control.
Really?? Post about it because you think it's going to be deleted? Why?
If you must feel the need to post about a post, isn't the correct place MetaTalk? Not that I'm really encouraging it, but if you feel the need, there's an appropriate place.
posted by demiurge at 11:05 PM on June 14, 2007
The spam-flooding was the problem with that thread? Really? It was shit before he even hit 'post'
Yes, yes it was. I assume it's cocktail hour somewhere in the world.
Actually, it's always cocktail hour somewhere in the world, and I find that comforting.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:06 PM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
Yes, yes it was. I assume it's cocktail hour somewhere in the world.
Actually, it's always cocktail hour somewhere in the world, and I find that comforting.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:06 PM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
Jesus. The cleaning staff take one night off and the place has poo smeared on the walls within minutes.
I deleted the stupid thread and will delete a few of the stupid fucking monster copy and paste comments.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:15 PM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
I deleted the stupid thread and will delete a few of the stupid fucking monster copy and paste comments.
posted by mathowie (staff) at 11:15 PM on June 14, 2007 [1 favorite]
I see no bukkit.
posted by homunculus at 11:16 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by homunculus at 11:16 PM on June 14, 2007
Scrolling through that was strangely like the end of Kubrik's Space Odyssey filmed entirely inside a paper recycling station.
posted by jamjam at 11:17 PM on June 14, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by jamjam at 11:17 PM on June 14, 2007 [2 favorites]
MetaFilter: The interaction between vital force and principle shed light of the later cultural reception of Devo.
posted by homunculus at 11:24 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by homunculus at 11:24 PM on June 14, 2007
Of course the SCUM Manifesto would be removed while the leet stands. Men!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:29 PM on June 14, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:29 PM on June 14, 2007 [3 favorites]
Facing this must be one of those moments where matamytex hold their head in their hands and say "why the fuck do I even bother?". Honestly, I am up for a bit of fun as much as the next homo sapien, but that was just fucking stupid.
posted by dg at 11:35 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by dg at 11:35 PM on June 14, 2007
Can somebody 'splain to this dolt why a goodly portion of "War & Peace" was posted, when Vronsky (OP was vronsky) appears in "Anna Karenina"? Or am I looking for logic in all the wrong places?
posted by rob511 at 11:50 PM on June 14, 2007
posted by rob511 at 11:50 PM on June 14, 2007
Jesus. The cleaning staff take one night off and the place has poo smeared on the walls within minutes.
I deleted the stupid thread and will delete a few of the stupid fucking monster copy and paste comments.
And ban the people who have abused the community? How do I upgrade my account to the kind that doesn't get the hair trigger banninations? Someone please call the waaahmbulance, I am feeling a little faint.
Or maybe this is like the older brother who always gets in shit, and by the time the younger siblings are smoking dope and bringing girls home for the night the parents are just too tired?
posted by Meatbomb at 12:02 AM on June 15, 2007
I deleted the stupid thread and will delete a few of the stupid fucking monster copy and paste comments.
And ban the people who have abused the community? How do I upgrade my account to the kind that doesn't get the hair trigger banninations? Someone please call the waaahmbulance, I am feeling a little faint.
Or maybe this is like the older brother who always gets in shit, and by the time the younger siblings are smoking dope and bringing girls home for the night the parents are just too tired?
posted by Meatbomb at 12:02 AM on June 15, 2007
a post about an image? that's the best of the web? -- mathowie
I read this as a cautious affirmation of the beleaguered "best of the web" standard.
I think it's important to note that the standard has, in recent history, only applied to posts that "shock the conscious" with their insipid banality. Consequently, I conclude that the "best of the web" standard is ultimately an expression of administrative discretion.
It seems, then, that this deletion doesn't endorse the regular practice of condemning posts as not being the "best of the web," since the standard is intrinsically discretionary.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 12:19 AM on June 15, 2007
I read this as a cautious affirmation of the beleaguered "best of the web" standard.
I think it's important to note that the standard has, in recent history, only applied to posts that "shock the conscious" with their insipid banality. Consequently, I conclude that the "best of the web" standard is ultimately an expression of administrative discretion.
It seems, then, that this deletion doesn't endorse the regular practice of condemning posts as not being the "best of the web," since the standard is intrinsically discretionary.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 12:19 AM on June 15, 2007
Awww, I missed it.
posted by Many bubbles at 12:23 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by Many bubbles at 12:23 AM on June 15, 2007
What the fuck are you on about?
Matt's deletion reason in the thread, I think.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:58 AM on June 15, 2007
Matt's deletion reason in the thread, I think.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 12:58 AM on June 15, 2007
What the fuck are you on about?
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? (Forget it, he's rolling.)
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:03 AM on June 15, 2007
Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? (Forget it, he's rolling.)
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:03 AM on June 15, 2007
Agent Howie watched in a stunned kind of horror as his final henchman dropped to the floor of his royal palace, dead. Despite his best efforts of fortifying the palace, Agent Cortex and Operative R had made it to his inner sanctum, although not entirely unscathed. Though they sported only cuts and bruises, Agent Howie knew from experience that Agent Cortex, fresh out of the Academy and now obviously on his first field assignment, would be psychologically scarred from the experience of killing several dozen men for the first time. And since Howie knew that his former colleagues were here to bring him in, something How knew would be the inevitable consequence of cutting contact with The Agency several months ago, he planned to use this to his full advantage.
But in Operative R, Agent Howie knew that he faced a far tougher opponent. But as always, Agent Howie had an ace up his sleeve, and he would not reveal it until the time was right.
"So you have come at last, R" said Agent Howie, sitting calmly down into the throne of the deposed Andorran prince who had once sat here before The Agency's invasion. "I wondered how long it would take you."
"Shut your trap, Matt" said R sternly. "No games. You're beaten and you're coming back to The States with us where you'll be tried for your crimes."
"I don't think so" said Howie. "No R, I think I like it much better here. And I think if you know what's good for you and the whelp you brought with you there, you'll go home yourself."
R scoffed at Howie's impudence. "That's the thing I've always liked about you, Howie" said R, barely masking his anger at the Agent he once commanded. "You always had a funny bone. Even here, in this realm you've constructed for yourself, you think you're a god damned comedian. But look around you, Agent. You're beaten. You're guards are dead. And soon The Agency will be sending a new Administrator, one who won't suffer from the kind of delusion of grandeur you have obviously come down with during your time here."
"Again, I don't think so R" said Howie, wagging his finger. "You're so fucking wrong, once again. The Agency won't be sending anyone. Because you see, as of this morning, I control The Agency. You understand R? You're no-one. You're fucking nothing!"
Finally Agent Cortex spoke up. "You've lost it How!" he exclaimed. "And this latest delusional claim only proves it. Am I right, sir?" he asked, looking at Operative R. But Operative R was silent. Indeed, Agent Cortex felt that R might even be a might concerned. R didn't answer Cortex. Instead, he was silent, before adressing Howie.
"If what you say is true, Howie, then prove it" said R.
Howie said nothing, merely lowering his head and clapping his hands. At the sound of his hands beckoning them, two Andorran servants entered the throne room, bringing with them a man whose head was covered in a potato sack. Agent Cortex watched, confused. Operative R watched also, silent but stone-faced.
Agent Howie shooed the servants away and took custody of the man. He pushed him towards the two Agents, causing the unknown man to stumble to the ground. Howie walked to and stood behind him, placing a hand on the man's head but staring directly at Operative R. "I bet you know who this is, don't you R? Why don't you tell Agent Cortex there who this is."
R shook his head and, his voice quivering, said "No... no you... you couldn't have."
"Oh but I have, R" said Howie coldly. "I found the man that no-one in the Agency knows about but you. I found..."
... and Howie lifted the sack from the man's head...
"... The Commodore!"
Operative R couldn't believe what he was seeing. Agent Cortex, meanwhile, didn't even know what was happening. "Sir?" Cortex asked. "What's Howie talking about? Who is this guy."
"Shut up, son." said R, looking at the man before him. The man had tape over his mouth and white, long hair. He had obviously been beaten many times over, judging the the fresh bruises all over his face.
"I'm not surprised you don't know who this guy is, Cortex" said Howie, pulling a pistol from his robes and pointing it directly at the man's head. "R would never have told you this. But this is the real head of The Agency. This is The Commodore, the only man who has the power to promote someone to the status of Operative, the only man who can override R's orders. The only man that R fears. This is the man that started The Agency in the first place. The man who ordered the invasions of Lichtenstein and Andorra. In effect, The Commodore is The Agency. And now he's my prisoner. And that just about makes me the most important guy in R's whole fucking universe. Isn't that right R?"
"Howie... Matt" said R quietly. "You've done a terrible thing. Release him. Release him and we'll... we'll let you go."
Cortex couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Sir?!?" he said to Operative R in disbelief. "We came all this way... we have Howie over a barrel.. and you're just going to let him go?" And then it dawned on him. "Oh my god.. .what How said is true. This guy out ranks even you... and that's why you're willing to trade everything for him!" Agent Cortex couldn't believe it. He was staring at an Agency bogeyman.. The Commodore himself. The rumors were true. And if that was true, Cortex realized, then Howie had more power than just that afforded to him under the new constitution of the principality of Andorra.
"I think I'm going to want a little more than that, R" said Howie. "I want my freedom, and I want Andorra." And then, gesturing towards Agent Cortex, Howie said " And I want the whelp to use the lap top over there to insert some code into Project Metafilter's main-frame."
"No" said R, much to Cortex's surprise. "You may have the Commodore, but beyond your own freedom you're not getting anything else for his. You'll do as I fuckin-"
A gunshot.
And those were the last words Operative R ever spoke. But it was not Agent Howie who pulled the trigger. It had been Agent Cortex himself who had done so. Howie was a little confused. "Now why on earth would you do that, Cortex?"
Cortex looked at The Commodore. "Because if this is The Commodore; and R just confirmed that he is; then his freedom is key to everything. And you should have what you want. I'll do it Howie. I'll input the code. And then I'm leaving here, with The Commodore. Is that a deal?"
Agent Howie smiled. He knew that Cortex mental state would play directly into his hands and it had. Nodding his head, Agent Howie said "Agreed." And then, reaching into his robe once more, he pulled out a pen-drive and threw it to Cortex. "Here's the code I want you to insert into the very heart of Project Metafilter. Once you do that, you can go."
Agent Cortex walked over, sat in-front of the lap-top and remotely logged into Project Metafilter. He knew why Howie needed him to do this for him. He had changed the access codes on Howie during his time away after logging several hack attempts on the Project Metafilter servers from Andorra. Cortex didn't know what the code was, but if that's all Howie wanted, then for the freedom of The Commodore (not to mention a nice promotion back in The States for rescuing him) then it was well worth it. Agent Howie dragged The Commodore over to the lap-top chair and they watched as Agent Cortex worked.
Finally, after 10 minutes or so, the task was complete. Agent Cortex turned and stood up. "There, I've done what you asked. Now I expect you'll make good on your end of the bargain?"
"But of course" said Howie. "I am nothing if not a man of my word." He pushed The Commodore to Agent Cortex and walked to his throne. "You may go now" said Howie.
Cortex took the tape off of the lips of The Commodore. "You did a good thing, Agent" said the Commodore. There'll be a healthy promotion in this for you. Now, unbind my hands and let's get out of this place." Agent Cortex smiled, and did what he was told. "Thank you son." said The Commodore. Now let's get out of here. You lead the way since, well.. I have no idea how I got in here on account of me being blindfolded when I came here."
"Yes sir!" said Cortex, and he began to walk out.
Another gunshot. Agent Cortex's eyes opened wide. And then he fell to the floor. He rolled over onto his back and looked up to see The Commodore standing above him, a gun in his hand. The Commodore pointed it at Agent Cortex.
"Sir...." said Cortex, his life leaving his body. "Sir... why?"
"Because I've seen the light, boy" said The Commodore gruffly. "Howie hear showed me The Book that he got from some Librarian and it showed me that Howie was a God to be revered and I love him."
And then, another gunshot. The Commodore fell to the ground, dead. This time it was Howie who pulled the trigger. He walked over to where both Cortex and The Commodore lay, and he looked at the Agent and said "I never liked that guy, anyway. It was a pleasure beating him."
Cortex winced in pain.
"Don't worry Cortex" said Howie, kneeling and putting the barrel of the gun to Cortex's temple. "It'll be over soon. But let me tell you what The Commodore was rambling on about. You see, month ago, while I was deep undercover here in Andorra, a woman named The Librarian put me onto a very important book."
"I read about that in the mission briefing" said Cortex before coughing up blood. "What is that book about?"
"It was an ancient book, which spoke of prophecies of the future. When I first opened it, all this weird voodoo shit happened. Wind blew. It got cold. And I was fucking indoors! But the book had opened to a particular page. And there was a prophecy on there which read "How. He and his project shall change the world. How is unknown. But he will become a great leader. A Prime among many. He will be loved and revered but feared also. His quest shall be driven by a lust to avenge the infant guru. Look for the signs. The Threads shall be revealed in 12594. When the world hears of the young girl rushed to Pakistan to marry an older man, by then you must know that his victory over all shall be nigh."
Agent Howie readied the pistol before continuing.
"It was at that point that I realized I was destined to rule the world. And I studied the book closely. It showed me how to help the Agency take over this place. It showed me how I would rule and for how long. And it showed me a code. A code contained throughout the book's pages. I put the code together and realized it to be an ancient curse, devised by some shaman or witch-doctor or something. The curse was a way to make people you loathe love you. An ultimate "fuck you" from the world of the demonic, I guess. I used it on The Commodore here. Once he was under my spell it was pretty easy to stop The Agency from sending backup to you two."
And only then did Cortex realise what he had done. "And the code... you found a way to adapt it... to computer code. That's what you had me put into Project Metafilter!" He coughed up some more blood.
"Correct" said Howie. "As we speak every sexless nerd reading Metafilter loves me. It's transferred through that stupid JPEG of "This is not an appropriate front page post." Once my servant vronsky puts up some stupid post on The Blue, it'll only be a matter of time until that JPEG gets posted. And then it'll spread throughout the entire internet. Billions of people worldwide will be exposed to the code and will come to love me. I will quite literally rule the world. It's just a shame you won't be around to see it."
"Not everyone reads the internet though" said Cortex. "There will be resistance. People will fight back against your adorers!"
"True" said Howie. "But The Agency is under my control now, remember? The Commodore signed an executive order this morning. He told every Agent to read Project Metafilter this afternoon. And with The Agency in my hands, organized rebellion will be easily crushed. Especially given that most people who don't read the internet are old people and poor people. Like they'll be a challenge for a heavily armed, death dealing Agent."
And then Agent Howie fired the pistol, ending Cortex's life. "Just like you were little match for me, whelp."
Howie dropped the gun to the floor. He didn't need it anymore. Nor did he need the title of 'Agent' anymore. He would now be called 'Imperator'. And with that he strode past the corpses of the three dead men and out onto the balcony of the kingdom which he now presided over to greet the massive crowd of Andorrans who had assembled during Howie's conversation with his former colleagues. As he appeared on the balcony, the enormous crowd let loose a mighty cheer for their leader, whom they loved and affectionately referred to as "Number 1" (when their gracious Imperator allowed a free speech day). Many held signs with messages of love and adoration for Imperator Howie, while many others held signs proclaiming Metafilter as the word of the Divine.
Meanwhile television cameras, owned and operated by How's Propaganda Unit, beamed the images across the world, where billions watched the scenes in Andorra. But rather than feeling horror for what had occurred there, they felt the same love for Imperator Howie that the Andorrans live at the scene felt for him. The code of Metafilter, beamed through the internet and straight into the hearts and minds of billions across the world, had worked exactly as Howie had intended, ensuring that any resistance to his rule from anywhere in the world would be minimal. And besides, with The Agency now in his control, he would easily quash such resistance with the same brutal force The Agency had formerly used in covert circumstances against its enemies.
It was a Brand New Day, and the man once known as Agent Howie was king of the world.
THE END.
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:14 AM on June 15, 2007 [18 favorites]
But in Operative R, Agent Howie knew that he faced a far tougher opponent. But as always, Agent Howie had an ace up his sleeve, and he would not reveal it until the time was right.
"So you have come at last, R" said Agent Howie, sitting calmly down into the throne of the deposed Andorran prince who had once sat here before The Agency's invasion. "I wondered how long it would take you."
"Shut your trap, Matt" said R sternly. "No games. You're beaten and you're coming back to The States with us where you'll be tried for your crimes."
"I don't think so" said Howie. "No R, I think I like it much better here. And I think if you know what's good for you and the whelp you brought with you there, you'll go home yourself."
R scoffed at Howie's impudence. "That's the thing I've always liked about you, Howie" said R, barely masking his anger at the Agent he once commanded. "You always had a funny bone. Even here, in this realm you've constructed for yourself, you think you're a god damned comedian. But look around you, Agent. You're beaten. You're guards are dead. And soon The Agency will be sending a new Administrator, one who won't suffer from the kind of delusion of grandeur you have obviously come down with during your time here."
"Again, I don't think so R" said Howie, wagging his finger. "You're so fucking wrong, once again. The Agency won't be sending anyone. Because you see, as of this morning, I control The Agency. You understand R? You're no-one. You're fucking nothing!"
Finally Agent Cortex spoke up. "You've lost it How!" he exclaimed. "And this latest delusional claim only proves it. Am I right, sir?" he asked, looking at Operative R. But Operative R was silent. Indeed, Agent Cortex felt that R might even be a might concerned. R didn't answer Cortex. Instead, he was silent, before adressing Howie.
"If what you say is true, Howie, then prove it" said R.
Howie said nothing, merely lowering his head and clapping his hands. At the sound of his hands beckoning them, two Andorran servants entered the throne room, bringing with them a man whose head was covered in a potato sack. Agent Cortex watched, confused. Operative R watched also, silent but stone-faced.
Agent Howie shooed the servants away and took custody of the man. He pushed him towards the two Agents, causing the unknown man to stumble to the ground. Howie walked to and stood behind him, placing a hand on the man's head but staring directly at Operative R. "I bet you know who this is, don't you R? Why don't you tell Agent Cortex there who this is."
R shook his head and, his voice quivering, said "No... no you... you couldn't have."
"Oh but I have, R" said Howie coldly. "I found the man that no-one in the Agency knows about but you. I found..."
... and Howie lifted the sack from the man's head...
"... The Commodore!"
Operative R couldn't believe what he was seeing. Agent Cortex, meanwhile, didn't even know what was happening. "Sir?" Cortex asked. "What's Howie talking about? Who is this guy."
"Shut up, son." said R, looking at the man before him. The man had tape over his mouth and white, long hair. He had obviously been beaten many times over, judging the the fresh bruises all over his face.
"I'm not surprised you don't know who this guy is, Cortex" said Howie, pulling a pistol from his robes and pointing it directly at the man's head. "R would never have told you this. But this is the real head of The Agency. This is The Commodore, the only man who has the power to promote someone to the status of Operative, the only man who can override R's orders. The only man that R fears. This is the man that started The Agency in the first place. The man who ordered the invasions of Lichtenstein and Andorra. In effect, The Commodore is The Agency. And now he's my prisoner. And that just about makes me the most important guy in R's whole fucking universe. Isn't that right R?"
"Howie... Matt" said R quietly. "You've done a terrible thing. Release him. Release him and we'll... we'll let you go."
Cortex couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Sir?!?" he said to Operative R in disbelief. "We came all this way... we have Howie over a barrel.. and you're just going to let him go?" And then it dawned on him. "Oh my god.. .what How said is true. This guy out ranks even you... and that's why you're willing to trade everything for him!" Agent Cortex couldn't believe it. He was staring at an Agency bogeyman.. The Commodore himself. The rumors were true. And if that was true, Cortex realized, then Howie had more power than just that afforded to him under the new constitution of the principality of Andorra.
"I think I'm going to want a little more than that, R" said Howie. "I want my freedom, and I want Andorra." And then, gesturing towards Agent Cortex, Howie said " And I want the whelp to use the lap top over there to insert some code into Project Metafilter's main-frame."
"No" said R, much to Cortex's surprise. "You may have the Commodore, but beyond your own freedom you're not getting anything else for his. You'll do as I fuckin-"
A gunshot.
And those were the last words Operative R ever spoke. But it was not Agent Howie who pulled the trigger. It had been Agent Cortex himself who had done so. Howie was a little confused. "Now why on earth would you do that, Cortex?"
Cortex looked at The Commodore. "Because if this is The Commodore; and R just confirmed that he is; then his freedom is key to everything. And you should have what you want. I'll do it Howie. I'll input the code. And then I'm leaving here, with The Commodore. Is that a deal?"
Agent Howie smiled. He knew that Cortex mental state would play directly into his hands and it had. Nodding his head, Agent Howie said "Agreed." And then, reaching into his robe once more, he pulled out a pen-drive and threw it to Cortex. "Here's the code I want you to insert into the very heart of Project Metafilter. Once you do that, you can go."
Agent Cortex walked over, sat in-front of the lap-top and remotely logged into Project Metafilter. He knew why Howie needed him to do this for him. He had changed the access codes on Howie during his time away after logging several hack attempts on the Project Metafilter servers from Andorra. Cortex didn't know what the code was, but if that's all Howie wanted, then for the freedom of The Commodore (not to mention a nice promotion back in The States for rescuing him) then it was well worth it. Agent Howie dragged The Commodore over to the lap-top chair and they watched as Agent Cortex worked.
Finally, after 10 minutes or so, the task was complete. Agent Cortex turned and stood up. "There, I've done what you asked. Now I expect you'll make good on your end of the bargain?"
"But of course" said Howie. "I am nothing if not a man of my word." He pushed The Commodore to Agent Cortex and walked to his throne. "You may go now" said Howie.
Cortex took the tape off of the lips of The Commodore. "You did a good thing, Agent" said the Commodore. There'll be a healthy promotion in this for you. Now, unbind my hands and let's get out of this place." Agent Cortex smiled, and did what he was told. "Thank you son." said The Commodore. Now let's get out of here. You lead the way since, well.. I have no idea how I got in here on account of me being blindfolded when I came here."
"Yes sir!" said Cortex, and he began to walk out.
Another gunshot. Agent Cortex's eyes opened wide. And then he fell to the floor. He rolled over onto his back and looked up to see The Commodore standing above him, a gun in his hand. The Commodore pointed it at Agent Cortex.
"Sir...." said Cortex, his life leaving his body. "Sir... why?"
"Because I've seen the light, boy" said The Commodore gruffly. "Howie hear showed me The Book that he got from some Librarian and it showed me that Howie was a God to be revered and I love him."
And then, another gunshot. The Commodore fell to the ground, dead. This time it was Howie who pulled the trigger. He walked over to where both Cortex and The Commodore lay, and he looked at the Agent and said "I never liked that guy, anyway. It was a pleasure beating him."
Cortex winced in pain.
"Don't worry Cortex" said Howie, kneeling and putting the barrel of the gun to Cortex's temple. "It'll be over soon. But let me tell you what The Commodore was rambling on about. You see, month ago, while I was deep undercover here in Andorra, a woman named The Librarian put me onto a very important book."
"I read about that in the mission briefing" said Cortex before coughing up blood. "What is that book about?"
"It was an ancient book, which spoke of prophecies of the future. When I first opened it, all this weird voodoo shit happened. Wind blew. It got cold. And I was fucking indoors! But the book had opened to a particular page. And there was a prophecy on there which read "How. He and his project shall change the world. How is unknown. But he will become a great leader. A Prime among many. He will be loved and revered but feared also. His quest shall be driven by a lust to avenge the infant guru. Look for the signs. The Threads shall be revealed in 12594. When the world hears of the young girl rushed to Pakistan to marry an older man, by then you must know that his victory over all shall be nigh."
Agent Howie readied the pistol before continuing.
"It was at that point that I realized I was destined to rule the world. And I studied the book closely. It showed me how to help the Agency take over this place. It showed me how I would rule and for how long. And it showed me a code. A code contained throughout the book's pages. I put the code together and realized it to be an ancient curse, devised by some shaman or witch-doctor or something. The curse was a way to make people you loathe love you. An ultimate "fuck you" from the world of the demonic, I guess. I used it on The Commodore here. Once he was under my spell it was pretty easy to stop The Agency from sending backup to you two."
And only then did Cortex realise what he had done. "And the code... you found a way to adapt it... to computer code. That's what you had me put into Project Metafilter!" He coughed up some more blood.
"Correct" said Howie. "As we speak every sexless nerd reading Metafilter loves me. It's transferred through that stupid JPEG of "This is not an appropriate front page post." Once my servant vronsky puts up some stupid post on The Blue, it'll only be a matter of time until that JPEG gets posted. And then it'll spread throughout the entire internet. Billions of people worldwide will be exposed to the code and will come to love me. I will quite literally rule the world. It's just a shame you won't be around to see it."
"Not everyone reads the internet though" said Cortex. "There will be resistance. People will fight back against your adorers!"
"True" said Howie. "But The Agency is under my control now, remember? The Commodore signed an executive order this morning. He told every Agent to read Project Metafilter this afternoon. And with The Agency in my hands, organized rebellion will be easily crushed. Especially given that most people who don't read the internet are old people and poor people. Like they'll be a challenge for a heavily armed, death dealing Agent."
And then Agent Howie fired the pistol, ending Cortex's life. "Just like you were little match for me, whelp."
Howie dropped the gun to the floor. He didn't need it anymore. Nor did he need the title of 'Agent' anymore. He would now be called 'Imperator'. And with that he strode past the corpses of the three dead men and out onto the balcony of the kingdom which he now presided over to greet the massive crowd of Andorrans who had assembled during Howie's conversation with his former colleagues. As he appeared on the balcony, the enormous crowd let loose a mighty cheer for their leader, whom they loved and affectionately referred to as "Number 1" (when their gracious Imperator allowed a free speech day). Many held signs with messages of love and adoration for Imperator Howie, while many others held signs proclaiming Metafilter as the word of the Divine.
Meanwhile television cameras, owned and operated by How's Propaganda Unit, beamed the images across the world, where billions watched the scenes in Andorra. But rather than feeling horror for what had occurred there, they felt the same love for Imperator Howie that the Andorrans live at the scene felt for him. The code of Metafilter, beamed through the internet and straight into the hearts and minds of billions across the world, had worked exactly as Howie had intended, ensuring that any resistance to his rule from anywhere in the world would be minimal. And besides, with The Agency now in his control, he would easily quash such resistance with the same brutal force The Agency had formerly used in covert circumstances against its enemies.
It was a Brand New Day, and the man once known as Agent Howie was king of the world.
THE END.
posted by Effigy2000 at 1:14 AM on June 15, 2007 [18 favorites]
Metafilter's mods take an evening off for some well deserved rest and recreation.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:24 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:24 AM on June 15, 2007
I find the apparent number of /b/tards here rather disturbing.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:47 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 3:47 AM on June 15, 2007
Do you have any idea how long this took to make? I didn't use some script-kiddie's ansi generator for this:
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That's a whole lot of opening and closing blink tags to make that happen.
posted by loquacious at 5:44 AM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]
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That's a whole lot of opening and closing blink tags to make that happen.
posted by loquacious at 5:44 AM on June 15, 2007 [3 favorites]
Oh.... gee... best of the web???? I thought it was supposed to be rest of the web?
posted by The Deej at 5:47 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by The Deej at 5:47 AM on June 15, 2007
Back decades gone when I lived on Portobello beach as a poor drunken lodger in House Craig, there was no art. A lot of drunken underage single mothers named Julie, yes, puddles of frozen vomit and dogshit everywhere, sure, but no art other than the oily surging grey of the Firth.
Times change.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2007
Times change.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:25 AM on June 15, 2007
I support that thread and all of its silliness. We can't be serious and disciplined all the time. We need to let off a little steam every once and a while. We used to do that with the image tag. We would have a thread once a month where people would just go nuts and post whatever silly picture or animated gif they wanted. It was great. It would release some of the tension from our serious discussions about whatever the fuck we talk about here. Now that the image tag has been taken from us, all we have left are large blocks of text and ansi. When the industrial revolution took away communal festivals from the peasants, all that was left was alcohol as a stress reliever. This is the same thing! We need the silliness. We need to live!
Viva le image tag!
posted by ND¢ at 7:11 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]
Viva le image tag!
posted by ND¢ at 7:11 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]
Obviously, I am reading this right now, which got me thinking about communal festivals and their relation to buck-wild threads, and I guess it would probably be "Viva l'image tag!" huh?
Anyway, my point remains brilliant.
posted by ND¢ at 7:15 AM on June 15, 2007
Anyway, my point remains brilliant.
posted by ND¢ at 7:15 AM on June 15, 2007
NO MODS. They are ABSENT. Nothing is being cleaned up nowhere. THIS IS ANARCHY.
THIS. IS. SPARTA!
posted by Ryvar at 7:16 AM on June 15, 2007
THIS. IS. SPARTA!
posted by Ryvar at 7:16 AM on June 15, 2007
The stupidest part of the post was that they weren't even wearing buckets, they were wearing collapsible strainers.
posted by iconomy at 7:32 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by iconomy at 7:32 AM on June 15, 2007
Mmmm. Portabellos.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by miss lynnster at 7:39 AM on June 15, 2007
"Do you have any idea how long this took to make?"
That looks like shit. Mostly because the width of a ░ is less than a █ when rendered in the browser, which screws up the line lengths. But also because it looks like shit. I'm sending you a copy of TheDraw and the man page from banner(1) right now.
What's the first word supposed to be? I can sort of vaguely make out the "FOR LOUIS" part on the second and third lines, but that first word -- "MOEI" perhaps? "MEXE?" -- eludes me.
"That's a whole lot of opening and closing blink tags to make that happen."
Set the high bit of each relevant character in video memory and make sure to set bit five of port 03D8 (You're supposed to be able to IN 03D8 to check it. It should be on by default, though, but nobody ever guarantees the mode control register state.)
MEXE FOR LOUIS indeed.
posted by majick at 7:49 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
That looks like shit. Mostly because the width of a ░ is less than a █ when rendered in the browser, which screws up the line lengths. But also because it looks like shit. I'm sending you a copy of TheDraw and the man page from banner(1) right now.
What's the first word supposed to be? I can sort of vaguely make out the "FOR LOUIS" part on the second and third lines, but that first word -- "MOEI" perhaps? "MEXE?" -- eludes me.
"That's a whole lot of opening and closing blink tags to make that happen."
Set the high bit of each relevant character in video memory and make sure to set bit five of port 03D8 (You're supposed to be able to IN 03D8 to check it. It should be on by default, though, but nobody ever guarantees the mode control register state.)
MEXE FOR LOUIS indeed.
posted by majick at 7:49 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
Dammit, I knew I couldn't pull that off properly.
"Set the high bit of each relevant character's color in video memory..."
Gah, the gag is even flatter than it was when I started.
posted by majick at 7:53 AM on June 15, 2007
"Set the high bit of each relevant character's color in video memory..."
Gah, the gag is even flatter than it was when I started.
posted by majick at 7:53 AM on June 15, 2007
How do I upgrade my account to the kind that doesn't get the hair trigger banninations?
He made me laugh and he's got a valid point.
posted by cribcage at 7:59 AM on June 15, 2007
He made me laugh and he's got a valid point.
posted by cribcage at 7:59 AM on June 15, 2007
Gah, the gag is even flatter than it was when I started.
it's ok. those of us that remember ACiD crew salute you.
posted by fishfucker at 8:06 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
My brush with fame: Redman used to personally drop off new ACID PACKs on my board around release time. I don't know why -- neither I nor any of my other users were significant figures in the art scene, and most of the other files available were of a Rather Different Nature. He was just a nice kid, I guess.
posted by majick at 8:10 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by majick at 8:10 AM on June 15, 2007
That looks like shit. Mostly because the width of a ░ is less than a █ when rendered in the browser
Looks great in my Firefox. Are you using an Apple browser? I've heard that has weird font rendering.
posted by meehawl at 8:24 AM on June 15, 2007
Looks great in my Firefox. Are you using an Apple browser? I've heard that has weird font rendering.
posted by meehawl at 8:24 AM on June 15, 2007
FUCK FUN!
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:35 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 8:35 AM on June 15, 2007
Falconer: "Faaaaaalcon! Oh Faaaaaalcon!"
[Silence]
Falcon: "Huh? You say something?"
posted by kosem at 9:31 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
[Silence]
Falcon: "Huh? You say something?"
posted by kosem at 9:31 AM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
The "mefi for life" blinky sign doesn't line up on my Mac, but in Linux it looks fabulous!
posted by marionnette en chaussette at 9:38 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by marionnette en chaussette at 9:38 AM on June 15, 2007
The cleaning staff take one night off and the place has poo smeared on the walls within minutes.
Ahhh, but what if this is not a coincidence? Perhaps we know to wait, yes?
Vronsky, za zdorovye! Drop me an email next time you are wanting to make fun. Levin is bringing goat.
posted by cotterpin at 10:33 AM on June 15, 2007 [2 favorites]
Effigy2000 - that ruled.
posted by EatTheWeek at 11:10 AM on June 15, 2007
posted by EatTheWeek at 11:10 AM on June 15, 2007
I'm still up for any punishment to be meted out for my contribution, but I'm feeling a bit better about the whole thing since I followed it up (the same evening) with my first ever best answer on ask.
yea, I broke the cookie jar, but when I fixed it, it was better than new, AND I got a cookie out of it!
posted by davejay at 11:10 AM on June 15, 2007
yea, I broke the cookie jar, but when I fixed it, it was better than new, AND I got a cookie out of it!
posted by davejay at 11:10 AM on June 15, 2007
hey davejay, how do you punish a masochist?
...
By not beating him!
posted by boo_radley at 11:29 AM on June 15, 2007
...
By not beating him!
posted by boo_radley at 11:29 AM on June 15, 2007
EatTheWeak: "Effigy2000 - that ruled."
Thanks EatTheWeak. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm actually sort of pleased how it all came together in the end; interesting though, that Agent Cortex saw the code (when he input it into Project Metafilter) but didn't became a Howie adorer.... Hmmm...
Anyway, there's 11 parts preceding that one (if you or anyone else is interested) all dotted around MeTa and all accessible via the 'Agent Howie' section of my user page.
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:55 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
Thanks EatTheWeak. Glad you enjoyed it. I'm actually sort of pleased how it all came together in the end; interesting though, that Agent Cortex saw the code (when he input it into Project Metafilter) but didn't became a Howie adorer.... Hmmm...
Anyway, there's 11 parts preceding that one (if you or anyone else is interested) all dotted around MeTa and all accessible via the 'Agent Howie' section of my user page.
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:55 PM on June 15, 2007 [1 favorite]
I assume, Effigy, you are going to begin a new serial about "Imperator Howie"???
posted by wendell at 5:28 PM on June 15, 2007
posted by wendell at 5:28 PM on June 15, 2007
Actually, this LOLDEVOBUCKET image is much awesomer than vronsky's. But then, it's not his first mistake.
posted by wendell at 5:35 PM on June 15, 2007
posted by wendell at 5:35 PM on June 15, 2007
wendell: "I assume, Effigy, you are going to begin a new serial about "Imperator Howie"???"
God, no. But I'd love to read someone else's take on such a series.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:40 PM on June 15, 2007
God, no. But I'd love to read someone else's take on such a series.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:40 PM on June 15, 2007
Ah shit! I understand the post deletion, but I was looking forward to going back through the comments. Why were they deleted? It's a few k of server space no?
Anyone have a link to the full, unedited thread? That thing was amazing.
posted by vronsky at 8:35 PM on June 15, 2007
Anyone have a link to the full, unedited thread? That thing was amazing.
posted by vronsky at 8:35 PM on June 15, 2007
Hey, when I took a dump on your rug I knew it was gonna get cleaned up, but I wanted to save a few of the chunky bits for my collection! Could you dig them out of the landfill for me?
Jesus, show some class.
posted by languagehat at 5:46 AM on June 16, 2007
Jesus, show some class.
posted by languagehat at 5:46 AM on June 16, 2007
Oh no! We've angered l-hat! Whatever shall we do?
Ignore him as usual - cranky old git. Go read a dictionary or something you tiresome little donkey!
posted by vronsky at 6:51 AM on June 16, 2007
Ignore him as usual - cranky old git. Go read a dictionary or something you tiresome little donkey!
posted by vronsky at 6:51 AM on June 16, 2007
I mean wtf languagehat? First you go all "sweep the leg Johnny" on wendell because of some harmless little prank then you pop in here to chastise me. What crawled up your ass and died Grandpa?
I know you consider yourself the grand poobah, and king shiznit, around here, but Jesus, show some class indeed.
posted by vronsky at 7:23 AM on June 16, 2007
I know you consider yourself the grand poobah, and king shiznit, around here, but Jesus, show some class indeed.
posted by vronsky at 7:23 AM on June 16, 2007
I do not consider myself anything of the kind. I consider myself one MeFite among umpty thousand, with as much right to speak my mind as anyone else. I don't think you're a bad, bad man, and I don't think the post was a horrible stain on the history of MetaFilter. I think making a crappy post knowing it was crappy, cheerfully saying "I understand the post deletion" (big of you!), and then expressing your desire to preserve the results of your crappy, thoughtless posting shows a lamentable lack of class.
And it wasn't just wendell's "harmless little prank," it's his entire history of being an unfunny loudmouth who keeps popping into threads to say "lookit me!", plus his refusal to honestly acknowledge he messed up (saying piously that he apologizes unreservedly while continuing to say he doesn't think he did anything wrong). It's the same thing with both of you, really: it's not the crime, it's the coverup (or unrepentant attitude). I'm certainly no saint myself, and I've made my mistakes, but when called on it, I apologize and make a mental note not to do it again.
And why are you so bent out of shape anyway? It's amazing the number of people around here who feel entitled to pull any stupid shit they want, but if someone else talks to them with less than loving respect they get all "hey, my feelings are hurt!" Well, if you want to be talked to nicely, don't pull dumb shit and then act proud of it.
posted by languagehat at 8:03 AM on June 16, 2007
And it wasn't just wendell's "harmless little prank," it's his entire history of being an unfunny loudmouth who keeps popping into threads to say "lookit me!", plus his refusal to honestly acknowledge he messed up (saying piously that he apologizes unreservedly while continuing to say he doesn't think he did anything wrong). It's the same thing with both of you, really: it's not the crime, it's the coverup (or unrepentant attitude). I'm certainly no saint myself, and I've made my mistakes, but when called on it, I apologize and make a mental note not to do it again.
And why are you so bent out of shape anyway? It's amazing the number of people around here who feel entitled to pull any stupid shit they want, but if someone else talks to them with less than loving respect they get all "hey, my feelings are hurt!" Well, if you want to be talked to nicely, don't pull dumb shit and then act proud of it.
posted by languagehat at 8:03 AM on June 16, 2007
Wow, that is just wrong on so many levels i don't know where to start. Let me walk you through some textual analysis. I'll be gentle.
"I think making a crappy post knowing it was crappy,"
But your entire premise is wrong here. I personally thought it was a funny post, but was aware that the mods can be humorless twits sometimes and that they would perhaps not agree.
cheerfully saying "I understand the post deletion" (big of you!),
Not sure where you get the cheerful vibe from. I looked and didn't see any smiley or winky emoticons in there. What I understood is that the post had a 50-50 chance of survival from the get go, so no I wasn't surprised at the deletion.
and then expressing your desire to preserve the results of your crappy, thoughtless posting shows a lamentable lack of class.
Are you stupid or something? What I wanted to preserve was the anarchic freeform responses to the post. If you had bothered to read the thread you might have noticed that I did not post a comment. But at the time of deletion there were something like 170 responses. Many of these were quite amazing imo. I mean by the end, dersins was inventing his own language ffs and loquacious was on a major roll. I think they should use his "mefi for life" artwork for the next tee shirt. And that was just the tip of the iceberg l-hat. I am fond of just about everyone who posted in that thread dude, and I wanted to see what they had to say. Can you grok this or not?
"And why are you so bent out of shape anyway? It's amazing the number of people around here who feel entitled to pull any stupid shit they want, but if someone else talks to them with less than loving respect they get all "hey, my feelings are hurt!""
But my feelings are not hurt languagehat. Trust me, I'm a big boy and can handle it. That you of all people would have a problem with me wanting to preserve the original text of my post I find somewhat baffling. But alas, I am afraid that you are, as I have always suspected, a prescriptivist ninny in anarchist clothing.
posted by vronsky at 8:51 AM on June 16, 2007
"I think making a crappy post knowing it was crappy,"
But your entire premise is wrong here. I personally thought it was a funny post, but was aware that the mods can be humorless twits sometimes and that they would perhaps not agree.
cheerfully saying "I understand the post deletion" (big of you!),
Not sure where you get the cheerful vibe from. I looked and didn't see any smiley or winky emoticons in there. What I understood is that the post had a 50-50 chance of survival from the get go, so no I wasn't surprised at the deletion.
and then expressing your desire to preserve the results of your crappy, thoughtless posting shows a lamentable lack of class.
Are you stupid or something? What I wanted to preserve was the anarchic freeform responses to the post. If you had bothered to read the thread you might have noticed that I did not post a comment. But at the time of deletion there were something like 170 responses. Many of these were quite amazing imo. I mean by the end, dersins was inventing his own language ffs and loquacious was on a major roll. I think they should use his "mefi for life" artwork for the next tee shirt. And that was just the tip of the iceberg l-hat. I am fond of just about everyone who posted in that thread dude, and I wanted to see what they had to say. Can you grok this or not?
"And why are you so bent out of shape anyway? It's amazing the number of people around here who feel entitled to pull any stupid shit they want, but if someone else talks to them with less than loving respect they get all "hey, my feelings are hurt!""
But my feelings are not hurt languagehat. Trust me, I'm a big boy and can handle it. That you of all people would have a problem with me wanting to preserve the original text of my post I find somewhat baffling. But alas, I am afraid that you are, as I have always suspected, a prescriptivist ninny in anarchist clothing.
posted by vronsky at 8:51 AM on June 16, 2007
OK, if I misread your tone I apologize. But the original text of my post is right there for you to see; what you're asking for is a bunch of comments that the administrators thought were annoying enough to be worth deleting, and I still say that's not very classy. If the thread was that important to you, you should have saved a copy before it got cleaned up.
posted by languagehat at 8:55 AM on June 16, 2007
posted by languagehat at 8:55 AM on June 16, 2007
cranky old git.
I resent you calling my close personal friend LanguageHat a cranky old git. It's "cranky old goat!" For cryin' out loud, how many times I gotta tell ya!
posted by The Deej at 9:57 AM on June 16, 2007
I resent you calling my close personal friend LanguageHat a cranky old git. It's "cranky old goat!" For cryin' out loud, how many times I gotta tell ya!
posted by The Deej at 9:57 AM on June 16, 2007
Meatbomb was similarly given a timeout for crapflooding treaty texts
Ya know, this is the kind of thing that makes me feel inferior. To crapflood is wrong, for sure. But to at least have such a wonderfully obscure trademarked way of doing it - treaty texts! - that is GENIUS!!!!! To be known as the "treaty text guy" has got to awesome!!!!!!!!!!
posted by The Deej at 10:05 AM on June 16, 2007
Ya know, this is the kind of thing that makes me feel inferior. To crapflood is wrong, for sure. But to at least have such a wonderfully obscure trademarked way of doing it - treaty texts! - that is GENIUS!!!!! To be known as the "treaty text guy" has got to awesome!!!!!!!!!!
posted by The Deej at 10:05 AM on June 16, 2007
Cool Lh, I apologize for my part as well. But you know who really deserves your apology? Wendell, who is a pretty much all around great guy, and pointing to someone's psychological history as you did in this meta thread is the very definition of low-class and uncool.
"I agree, and by "people" I mean wendell, who gets a pass on things because he's been around forever and is depressed and shit, but seriously, knock it the fuck off."
And for the record, I resist the term "crapflooding" because much of that thread wasn't "crap" at all.
posted by vronsky at 10:44 AM on June 16, 2007
"I agree, and by "people" I mean wendell, who gets a pass on things because he's been around forever and is depressed and shit, but seriously, knock it the fuck off."
And for the record, I resist the term "crapflooding" because much of that thread wasn't "crap" at all.
posted by vronsky at 10:44 AM on June 16, 2007
Aargh...
the original text of my post is right there for you to see
By which I meant the original text of your post, but I guess you figured that out. Still, WTF, lh's brain?
As for wendell, I've never met him, so I have nothing to go on but his MeFi presence, which to me is pretty much the definition of "annoying." Not "evil," and I don't want him to go away or anything, but I can't make "great guy" fit. As far as I can see, he pretty much spends all his time desperately trying to shoehorn in jokes, none of which (as far as I can recall) I have ever found amusing. But tastes differ. As for his psychological history, I know nothing about it other than that he frequently mentions his depression; if he doesn't want people to bring that up, he probably shouldn't do it so much himself. But if it bothered him: sorry, wendell!
posted by languagehat at 11:41 AM on June 16, 2007
the original text of my post is right there for you to see
By which I meant the original text of your post, but I guess you figured that out. Still, WTF, lh's brain?
As for wendell, I've never met him, so I have nothing to go on but his MeFi presence, which to me is pretty much the definition of "annoying." Not "evil," and I don't want him to go away or anything, but I can't make "great guy" fit. As far as I can see, he pretty much spends all his time desperately trying to shoehorn in jokes, none of which (as far as I can recall) I have ever found amusing. But tastes differ. As for his psychological history, I know nothing about it other than that he frequently mentions his depression; if he doesn't want people to bring that up, he probably shouldn't do it so much himself. But if it bothered him: sorry, wendell!
posted by languagehat at 11:41 AM on June 16, 2007
dersins was inventing his own language
In all fairness, even though Finnish looks made up, I didn't actually make it up.
posted by dersins at 12:26 PM on June 16, 2007
In all fairness, even though Finnish looks made up, I didn't actually make it up.
posted by dersins at 12:26 PM on June 16, 2007
he pretty much spends all his time desperately trying to shoehorn in jokes
Heyyyy Wendell, get offa my turf!!!!!!!
posted by The Deej at 12:33 PM on June 16, 2007
Heyyyy Wendell, get offa my turf!!!!!!!
posted by The Deej at 12:33 PM on June 16, 2007
How do I upgrade my account to the kind that doesn't get the hair trigger banninations?
Mizzlebizzle, (1) repeated crapflooding in the same style over time by the same single user is not the same as serial crapflood in one thread by a handful of different users, and so "hair trigger" doesn't really apply, and (2) banninations aren't something you come back from a few days later.
So what you really want is an upgrade to the kind that doesn't get well-deserved timeouts.
Twenty bucks, same as in town.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:43 PM on June 19, 2007
Mizzlebizzle, (1) repeated crapflooding in the same style over time by the same single user is not the same as serial crapflood in one thread by a handful of different users, and so "hair trigger" doesn't really apply, and (2) banninations aren't something you come back from a few days later.
So what you really want is an upgrade to the kind that doesn't get well-deserved timeouts.
Twenty bucks, same as in town.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:43 PM on June 19, 2007
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I think it's only right that the crapflooders in that thread be
beaten senselessgiven a good talking to, at least.posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:26 PM on June 14, 2007