monkey king

July 11, 2008 4:11 PM

You can take your own sanctimonious smugness and shove it deep and far up inside your poophole.

loquacious, maybe you should relax and not be so violent.
posted by plexi to etiquette/policy at 4:11 PM (252 comments total)

Maybe you should use MeFi Mail for this? Or just flag the comment?
posted by theclaw at 4:19 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Hear that?

It's the waaaaaaaaahmbulance.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:20 PM on July 11 [13 favorites]

[DO NOT TAUNT THE LOQUACIOUS]
posted by boo_radley at 4:22 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

It's kind of traditional to try and let someone know if you're calling them out directly like this. Have you emailed loquacious or anything?
posted by cortex at 4:24 PM on July 11

Maybe when someone hands you your arse on a plate you should just walk home with it in contemplative silence, rather than alert a whole new audience to the circumstances of your debasement.
posted by fire&wings at 4:26 PM on July 11 [21 favorites]

And honestly, there's a lot of internet-dick-assing in that thread, some of which you did all on your own, plexi.
posted by boo_radley at 4:27 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

If you think that's violent never be around me when I stub my toe.
posted by Skorgu at 4:27 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

It's kind of traditional to try and let someone know if you're calling them out directly like this. Have you emailed loquacious or anything?
posted by cortex at 12:24 AM on July 12

No, sorry, he just seems like a lunatic.
posted by plexi at 4:28 PM on July 11

Is there any way I can skin this thread so that it looks like a Zagnut bar?
posted by davejay at 4:29 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

No, sorry, he just seems like a lunatic.

Um, if he seems like a lunatic, such that you didn't think mailing him would accomplish anything, what exactly were you expecting this thread to accomplish?
posted by davejay at 4:30 PM on July 11

(um, that first comment was supposed to be small, and the second normal-sized. I don't know what came over me there.)
posted by davejay at 4:30 PM on July 11

I'm with Loquacious on this one.
posted by Class Goat at 4:32 PM on July 11

Telling someone to shove it is not exactly violent. Relax. I called the internet police and told them it was a false alarm.
posted by poppo at 4:32 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

If you kids can't get along, I'm going to stop this internet and turn around and smack you.
posted by found missing at 4:35 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Maybe in your callout here you should've included the comment he was responding to:

"Maybe you'll watch it, and nod that yes, you understand poor people. You've seen it on television." -- posted by plexi

Yep....Loquacious¹ might've used slightly strong language, but I can't really see how he's wrong.

¹When you're writing a username at the beginning of a sentence, are you supposed to capitalize? Or leave it lowercase?
posted by inigo2 at 4:36 PM on July 11

When you're writing a username at the beginning of a sentence, are you supposed to capitalize? Or leave it lowercase?

I once had a lengthy argument on that subject, and the broader question of capitalizing lc usernames in general. I consider it an unresolved question, personally, but usually either (a) rewrite to get the username out of the beginning of a statement when using it to refer rather than address, or (b) stubbornly preserve the canonical case as rendered in the user's byline.
posted by cortex at 4:40 PM on July 11

Pfffp. If we called out every lunatic here out on metatalk, we'd never get anything done.

(Not that we get anything done as it is...)
posted by Dave Faris at 4:40 PM on July 11

A mediocre single-link newspaper-article post that the poster used to troll the community with? No, I have to side with loquarious, it's definitely Large Intestine Content.
posted by wendell at 4:41 PM on July 11

(Not that we get anything done as it is...)

well, what exactly is it that we're supposed to be 'doing.' When it's all said and done, MeFi's just a bunch of people talking, I wasn't aware we were on a mission.
posted by jonmc at 4:42 PM on July 11

Wow, thanks for pointing out loquacious's remark in that thread. I wouldn't have seen it otherwise, and it's worth reading.
posted by scody at 4:43 PM on July 11 [5 favorites]

I like that word.

Poophole.

Poophole.

Poophole.

Meh. Loses something with repetition.

Still a pretty good word though.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:43 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

That loquacious, man. He's punk as fuck.
posted by octobersurprise at 4:43 PM on July 11

Come on jonmc, we're on a mission from God. So it's not like anybody could stop us or anything.
posted by Skorgu at 4:44 PM on July 11

a mission from God...
posted by quonsar at 4:44 PM on July 11

We're here to adore you, Jon. What else?
posted by Dave Faris at 4:44 PM on July 11

Yeah, I don't know. It seemed like an indignant but reasonable response from someone with a lot of justification to be pissed off at your previous comment, and opted to use strong language to make his point.

You've got a low user-number, plexi, surely this isn't the worst you've seen here, or even the worst you've seen that isn't deleted.

He didn't name call you, for what it's worth. Merely hatedyour "sanctimonious" snark. And yet you call him a lunatic. Who's out of line here?
posted by Phire at 4:44 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

damn. too slow.
posted by quonsar at 4:44 PM on July 11

i recommend all caps or no caps. it's my General Rule. so i often break it.
posted by quonsar at 4:45 PM on July 11

We're here to adore you, Jon. What else?

then where the hells the Little Drummer Boy?
posted by jonmc at 4:46 PM on July 11

Thanks for posting this callout; it led me to a couple of great comments (by loquacious) and your own asininity.
posted by jtron at 4:47 PM on July 11

Word violence is afoot, everybody slam shut their valves.
posted by Divine_Wino at 4:50 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Word violence is afoot,

Don't make me kick your adverb.
posted by jonmc at 4:51 PM on July 11

This isn't the first time loquacious has vehemently defended his dumpster-diving lifestyle. It just goes to show that you can't always assume that the people on the other side of the screen have the same world view as you do. I know I've sure made that mistake before.
posted by Dave Faris at 4:52 PM on July 11

I wish to say that I actually agree with what loquacious said, although I do think his point would have been stronger if he hadn't kind of sullied it with the poophole bit.
posted by Effigy2000 at 4:53 PM on July 11

You and loquacious could fill a hundred poopholes with the smugness between you, but I wouldn't take it personally if I were you, kid.
posted by octobersurprise at 4:54 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

I'm thinking maybe you should've taken this call-out and shoved it deep and far up inside your sent MeFi Mail items instead of posting it here.
posted by katillathehun at 4:55 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

I too would have missed loquacious's typically eloquent outrage, so thanks for this otherwise pointless waste of MetaTalk.

I once had a lengthy argument on that subject, and the broader question of capitalizing lc usernames in general. I consider it an unresolved question, personally, but usually either (a) rewrite to get the username out of the beginning of a statement when using it to refer rather than address, or (b) stubbornly preserve the canonical case as rendered in the user's byline.

I do the same two things! Spooky!
posted by languagehat at 4:58 PM on July 11 [3 favorites]

Besides, they can't be that poor. They own cars. That's rich to me. :(
posted by milarepa at 5:00 PM on July 11

I read the news today, oh boy
4000 poopholes in Blackburn, Lancashire
posted by ludwig_van at 5:01 PM on July 11 [10 favorites]

yah, having read that thread (thanks for making it a MeTa subject or I would have skipped it!) I gotta agree with loq. Sanctimonious smugness, indeed.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:01 PM on July 11

You had it coming.

Your desire to defend the 'art' you posted led you to make a ridiculous caricaturization of its critics, and to imply that they're self-satisfied twits who go tele-slumming like modern-day Dickensian concerned churchmen and -women, tut-tutting amongst themselves about the pitiable life of the common street urchin.
posted by CKmtl at 5:05 PM on July 11 [5 favorites]

I read the news today, oh boy
4000 poopholes in Blackburn, Lancashire

Actually that was Blackbutt, Lancasshire, sir.
posted by jonmc at 5:06 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

"poophole" is fine.

phrases like "This is what happens in monoculture" break my heart with how dumb they are. Sorry, but calling sub-"Rage Against the Machine" polemics like that "eloquent" is just... wow.


posted by drjimmy11 at 5:08 PM on July 11 [5 favorites]

This is disgusting. I am ashamed for loquacious and I apologize on his behalf (as he often does for the rest of us). He clearly should have used the phrase "so deep and far inside your poophole that you'll choke on it, causing you to tear yourself a new poophole, which you can then crawl up and die."

I'm sorry.
posted by Krrrlson at 5:10 PM on July 11 [8 favorites]

I generally like loquacious (he can be a bit grandiose at times, but nobody's perfect) but the whole conversation is a bit silly to my eyes. If somebody wants to make their car look like a bag of Fritos it's really nothing to me, so I can't really see what either of them are getting all hopped up about except as a pissing contest.
posted by jonmc at 5:11 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Disclaimer: I don't actually have a poophole in this fight, I just believe in harnessing the full power and beauty of the English language.
posted by Krrrlson at 5:12 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

"Take your x and shove it" is simply a recommendation. "I will take x and shove it at/in you" is violent.

And you had it coming.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 5:12 PM on July 11

Is this what happens when we talk about boobies and twats too much?
posted by jessamyn at 5:12 PM on July 11 [11 favorites]

May as well shove this post up there, too.

Next time, call him out for being WRONG ABOUT WARHOL. Wrong, I tell you. It wasn't about the brands, it was about the ubiquity of images. and I learned that in high school, not even in my senior year, loq, so none of that "you went to art school, I'm just a starving artist" jazz, punk! *blows kisses, sends cash*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:15 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Don't be a prick, Jess.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:15 PM on July 11

Sanctomoniuos smugness is actually an ideal stimulus for targeting the Pleasurable Places all up in there.
posted by Sys Rq at 5:16 PM on July 11

Is this what happens when we talk about boobies and twats too much?

C'mon, Jessamyn. You know you wanted to say, "sweater stuffers."

Wait. Whatcha doing with that banhammer...?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:18 PM on July 11

Wow, if you get offended by a comment about your "poop-hole," you might want to rethink the whole dissident activities in China that you are contemplating. Cowboy up!
posted by The Light Fantastic at 5:19 PM on July 11 [5 favorites]

"Take your x and shove it" is simply a recommendation.

So sayeth David Allen Coe.
posted by jonmc at 5:20 PM on July 11

You know, this morning as I walked toward my subway, the cellphone store on 31st had roughly 300 people (no exaggeration) lined up to buy iPhones. When I got out at Union Square, there were about a zillion eco-yuppies milling around the greenmarket buying their organic, pesticide-free, grown-only-in-genuine-organic-antelope-shit produce. Worse, better than the Doritomobile crew?

At the end of the day, it's your money, spend it however you want.
posted by jonmc at 5:29 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Sanctimonious snugness is the difference between a normal habit and a bad habit.
posted by cortex at 5:33 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

lolling like crazy i <3 u loquacious
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:34 PM on July 11

Yep....Loquacious1 might've used slightly strong language, but I can't really see how he's wrong.

1When you're writing a username at the beginning of a sentence, are you supposed to capitalize? Or leave it lowercase?

That's irrelevant...you used it after an ellipsis.

What the hell do you think an ellipsis is, anyway...three full-stops...?
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:39 PM on July 11

oh, and that was a great comment by loquacious, by the way. thanks for drawing my attention to it.

and yeh, i can't wait to see those sad cunts with their free-advertising cars show up in adbusters very soon.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:41 PM on July 11

What the hell do you think an ellipsis is, anyway...three full-stops...?

You know how when people get really excited about something they let you know like this!!!

An ellipsis is just a really strong commitment to end a sentence.
posted by quin at 5:46 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

also, I saw this today. best kids book ever.
posted by jonmc at 5:46 PM on July 11 [4 favorites]

In my professional writing, gene names preserve their case even at the beginning of sentences (because of the misguided convention of using capitals to distinguish between dominant and recessive, or between gene and product) so I feel no discomfort doing the same thing with MeFi user names. That's a staggering dull observation, but not as negatively-entertaining as this stupid callout.
posted by nowonmai at 5:50 PM on July 11 [6 favorites]

Who the hell titles a shitflinging callout like this "monkey king"? Does your familiarity with Warhol alienate you from the other thirteen-year-olds?
posted by spiderwire at 5:52 PM on July 11

loquacious, I'm imagining how excited you're gonna be when you get back online and see all this. How you will grab the keyboard and do your thing before even rolling one. That's why I'm resisting the urge to do my girl talk thing and just phone you and be all "Oooohhh listen, honeychile, I got sumpna tell ya. Gurl they callin' you oooouut. You walked away from the computer, dincha? Uh-uh you can't be doin' that!!"

So plexi, we'll try not to feed the trolls, but you might want to avoid feeding the monkeys. ook ook.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 5:54 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

do my girl talk thing and just phone you and be all "Oooohhh listen, honeychile, I got sumpna tell ya. Gurl they callin' you oooouut. You walked away from the computer, dincha? Uh-uh you can't be doin' that!!"

apparently AV's been possesed by the spirit of an audience member on the Montel Williams show. I'll fetch the crucifix and holy water.
posted by jonmc at 5:56 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Who the hell titles a shitflinging callout like this "monkey king"?

An afficionado of classic Chinese literature?

(or kitschy Japanese adaptations thereof)
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:56 PM on July 11

Poopchute is better.
posted by Loto at 5:58 PM on July 11

"Oooohhh listen, honeychile, I got sumpna tell ya. Gurl they callin' you oooouut. You walked away from the computer, dincha? Uh-uh you can't be doin' that!!"

Stay classy.
posted by milarepa at 6:01 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

That's a staggering dull observation, but not as negatively-entertaining as this stupid callout.

Don't be so hard on yourself. You may well have contributed the only tidbit of lasting value to this thread.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:03 PM on July 11

That's a staggering dull observation

It's kind of interesting, actually.

"Take your x and shove it" is simply a recommendation.

Recommendation taken.
posted by cortex at 6:03 PM on July 11

loquacious 1
plexi 0

Actually, who am I kidding?

loquacious 5970 (and counting)
plexi -2 (oh. wait. -3)
posted by dersins at 6:08 PM on July 11

Another vote for loquacious. He's dead on right. The 'art' is a sad symptom of a diseased culture. Also about smugness > anuses.
posted by signal at 6:09 PM on July 11

I really don't understand the disagreement here.

Why would anyone want to "understand" the poor?

I mean, the poor have no money. And they wear the most unfashionable clothing, and live in ugly homes and trailers and housing projects, in such appalling places.

Really, it's much more rewarding to understand the rich, I'd think.
posted by orthogonality at 6:11 PM on July 11 [4 favorites]

The first entry in that M is For Metal book?

'A is for Angus
who's riffs are a hit
he's a grown man
in a schoolboy outfit'
posted by jonmc at 6:12 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

You might as well suggest socializing with the Irish, or inviting you-know-who to the club. It's just unfathomable.
posted by orthogonality at 6:13 PM on July 11

You might as well suggest socializing with the Irish,

well, we have the best whiskey, after all.
posted by jonmc at 6:15 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

What's strange is that the comment assumes these people are poor, and also that somehow the culture native to New Orleans is somehow being compromised because a few people relative to a great many have decided to give Frito-Lay or General Mills or Coca Cola free advertising in exchange for a thousand bucks. That might be a little foolhardy, but it's not damaging the culture. New Orleans still has as much, if not more, unique about it than any other city I've been to or lived in in the U.S., New York, Chicago, and San Francisco included, even post-Katrina.

I grew up lower middle class in New Orleans, in Gentilly, New Orleans East, Lakeview, Bucktown and in Mid-City, most of which neighborhoods were obliterated all or in part by Hurricane Katrina and I've been back since the storm. You can still get jambalaya, gumbo, a softshell crab po-boy, a muffaletta and a Hurricane (the drink, not the weather event.) You can attend Mardi Gras, Jazz Fest, and French Quarter Fest. You can still drop by somebody's house unannounced and have a couple of beers and a plate of red beans and rice. You can still head to Vaughn's and listen to jazz and throw back a six-pack of Abita, if you want, or go to Mother's and have a roast beef po-boy, dressed, with "debris". You can still get ten pounds of crawfish and sit on the river front and eat them and throw the frisbee around afterward. You can still hear people talk about "making groceries", park your car on the neutral ground if the streets are flooded, and read Vic and Nat'ly in the Gambit. You can still walk around the Quarter, go to Molly's at the Market and sit in Jackson Square between the Pontalba Apartments, the oldest apartments in the U.S. You can still go to mass in St. Louis Cathedral and have a beignet at Cafe Du Monde afterward, if you want.

Normally I appreciate loquacious' comments and I think this callout is so much whinging, but the fact is there's alot more cultural losses to fret over in, say, New York than in New Orleans - the Disneyfication of Times Square, the slow decline of Little Italy, the closing of a salumeria in Brooklyn to make way for a Connecticut Muffin, or the entire complexion of a neighborhood being changed by one greedy individual bound and determined to build a stadium and mall complex nearby. The culture is about the only truly sturdy, reliable thing left in New Orleans, along with political graft and police corruption and a startling divide between rich whites and poor blacks, which are unfortunate realities, as well, so it's understandable that loquacious would feel a certain level of generalized outrage over the cynical corruption of the minds of the disenfranchised by corporate America. But if you came from New Orleans, you'd find The Lemonheads car particularly amusing because Lemonheads are to New Orleans what Altoids are to, oh, everywhere else right about now.

That said, the only really, truly disappointing thing about loquacious' comment, aside from the hyperbole, which is understandable if a little much, is that he ought to have said "You can take your own sanctimonious smugness and shove it deep and far up inside your coonass." But, sorry, plexi, this callout is a little declassee, cher.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 6:21 PM on July 11 [20 favorites]

Poophole is so good.

It's so much better than Asshole. Asshole is more of a set of directions. It tells where the hole is. it's on your ass. But what does the hole do? Well. There's where your poophole is useful. It says this is the hole where poop resides and possible will drop from. And if you direct somebody to shove something in thier poophole obviously that will be unpleasant because the hole is already filled with poop! Also where the poophole is, is implied. Asshole is redundant and not descriptive enough of the difficulty involved for determining where to shove things.

So poophole is better than asshole.

Now, you could say shithole. But to me a shithole is a hole you dig were you deposit the poop from your poophole. And then, if your a responsible person, you cover the shithole back up. It's why we call unatractive buildings and slums "Shitholes." They are so unattractive that they are really just pits in the dirt only worthy of pooping in and then covering back up.

I also like describing a bad smell as Poo-gas. Its better than fart. Again because where the gas came from is directly implied. Your not left wondering. "You smell like poo gas." See?

Plus you can say poo-gas around kids, where as you can't say fart.
posted by tkchrist at 6:23 PM on July 11 [4 favorites]

"'A is for Angus
who's riffs are a hit
he's a grown man
in a schoolboy outfit'"

Let me guess the last one:

Z is for Zeppelin
Made out of Le(a)d
If Bonham was smarter
He wouldn't be dead.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:24 PM on July 11 [4 favorites]

I browsed through plexi's MeTa history and wow, what a smug whiny brat.
posted by avocet at 6:27 PM on July 11

In this thread he seemed pretty clueless. Homeboy needs to get out more.
posted by jonmc at 6:30 PM on July 11

MetaFilter would be a much more civilized place if the only body parts we referred to in the course of an argument were:
Spleen
Pancreas
Uvula
Philtrum
Ligaments
Cartilage
Gallbladder
Appendix
Adenoids
Clavicle
Elbow
Medulla
and, of course,
Cortex.

Just a suggestion.
posted by wendell at 6:31 PM on July 11 [3 favorites]

well, we have the best whiskey, after all.

Jon, I'm exactly as Irish as you are, which is to say dubiously half and well, hell, really? I'd say we have the whiskey we're the best at drinking maybe.

Love ya bud.

TryTheTilapia,
What a great comment, thank you so much.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:31 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

no bile duct, wendell?
posted by jonmc at 6:32 PM on July 11

Eh, loquacious is a poor. You con't really expect much from him.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:36 PM on July 11

Why wendell you cholecystectomist bastard. Show some fucking sensitivity.
posted by nowonmai at 6:38 PM on July 11

loquacious 5970 (and counting)
plexi -2 (oh. wait. -3)
posted by dersins at 2:08 AM on July 12

I have a job Dersins, so really quantity is not an accurate end game. What would be more telling is the ratio of posting to favorites.

logjuicious has posted something 8,905 times, and has 5,970 favorites, which is around 67%.

plexi has posted something 228 times, and has 355 favorites, which is 155% omg these numbers are bullshit favorites don't mean anything!



That said, the only really, truly disappointing thing about loquacious' comment, aside from the hyperbole, which is understandable if a little much, is that he ought to have said "You can take your own sanctimonious smugness and shove it deep and far up inside your coonass." But, sorry, plexi, this callout is a little declassee, cher.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 2:21 AM on July 12

I lived in the Treme for awhile, directly across from St. Augustine Church on Gov Nicolls, which is far from the white suburban enclaves of Bucktown and Gentily. I live in San Francisco now, on Jones Street in the Tenderloin, above a massage parlor that traffics underage girls from Vietnam.



so deep and far inside your poophole that you'll choke on it, causing you to tear yourself a new poophole, which you can then crawl up and die.
posted by Krrrlson at 1:10 AM on July 12

You should write that on beautiful parchment in nice calligraphy and send it to your mother.
posted by plexi at 6:39 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

plexi has posted something 228 times, and has 355 favorites, which is 155% omg these numbers are bullshit favorites don't mean anything!

It's the third person references to yourself and the drunk's syntax/spelling that make me think you're the real loser.

Also, loquacious got you REEEEEL GUUUUUD in the example you use to start the thread. Why on Earth would you point out someone making you look pretentious so effectively?
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:45 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Actually no, sorry plexi, fail. You'll notice it's far easier to gain favourites through posts than through comments. If you insist upon making your (mildly obnoxious) point (in response to a comment designed to get a rise out of you), feel free to count how many favourites his comments have and match that up to his comment count. That should while away the night and give you a decent idea on how good comments are written.
posted by Phire at 6:46 PM on July 11

Also, he was here before favorites. Go back to college, plexi.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 6:50 PM on July 11

I lived in the Treme for awhile, directly across from St. Augustine Church on Gov Nicolls, which is far from the white suburban enclaves of Bucktown and Gentily.

Have it your way, plexi, but you really don't know Gentilly if you think it's a "white, suburban enclave", and you certainly never hung out at the Plaza or caught your dinner from Lake Pontchartrain on the other side of the levee from Hayne Boulevard in New Orleans East, but then you neglected to mention that posh, exclusive neighborhood of duplexes and El Caminos. And that's my little dribble in the "I was poorer than you were!" pissing match you seem determined to have with me. Lighten up and have a Lemonhead.
posted by TryTheTilapia at 6:50 PM on July 11

logjuicious has posted something 8,905 times...

You should write that on beautiful parchment in nice calligraphy and send it to your mother.

You ran out of insults, plexi. You need to fight more pirates before hitting the Swordmaster.
posted by StrikeTheViol at 6:51 PM on July 11 [4 favorites]

Wendell,

You need to do the whole alphabet!
posted by lukemeister at 6:51 PM on July 11

Today's metafilter is brought to you by the word "smug" (and derivatives thereof).

Smuggily yours,

jabberjaw
posted by jabberjaw at 6:54 PM on July 11

I just remembered who plexi is! He brought us: "One link music post by plexi? Deleted."

I really enjoyed that use of the third person, so in my book, plexi is OK.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:55 PM on July 11

You should write that on beautiful parchment in nice calligraphy and send it to your mother.

How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
posted by Krrrlson at 6:55 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

I'm beginning to the think the summer heat is making everybody daffy. We all need to relax.
posted by jonmc at 6:58 PM on July 11

Yeah Jon is probably right. There's a pretty interesting looking jam about the Japanese military buildup on PBS right now. I'll let y'all know if poopholes are heavily featured.
posted by Divine_Wino at 7:05 PM on July 11

I'd say you're both kind of retarded because YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT A LEMONHEAD CAR.
posted by dhammond at 7:06 PM on July 11 [9 favorites]

Actually, at my corner store today I bought what I thought was a box of Reese's Pieces. When I got home I noticed that they were labeled as Reese's Pieces Peanut Butter and Chocolate. Now, isn't a chocloate Reese's Piece just an M&M?
posted by jonmc at 7:15 PM on July 11

rectum? damn near kill'em.

you may close this thread now.
posted by tkchrist at 7:20 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Not until we get to the bottom my Reese's question, sir.
posted by jonmc at 7:21 PM on July 11

You know, "shove it deep and far up inside your poophole" can be words of love, too.

I'm just saying, you guys
posted by kittens for breakfast at 7:23 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

*shoves chocolate Reese's Pieces up everybody's poophole, with love*
posted by jonmc at 7:28 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Well, as long as this thread helps me to justify my severe hatred for decals on a car and the people who put them there, it's a win!
posted by Brocktoon at 7:31 PM on July 11

So sayeth David Allen Coe.

No. No he didn't. The entire point of the song Take this job and shove it is found in the line "When I get the nerve to say." The protagonist never quits his job, never tells off the boss with the flat-top hairdo*, and never gets his wife back. That's what makes the song so fucking tragic. This continued belief that the song is about quitting your job displays the same sort of facepalmic appropriation of a song that was displayed when Reagan adopted Born in the USA as a campaign song.

The protagonist in TtJaSI is crippled by the same mute fear that, say, characterizes people who post stupid callouts while being terrified of MeFailing other users.

*Lord, he thinks it's cool.
posted by stet at 7:34 PM on July 11 [12 favorites]

chocloate? out of a chocloaca?
posted by boo_radley at 7:35 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

stet: touche. I shall now go lay in a field of stone.
posted by jonmc at 7:36 PM on July 11

one of my coworkers had a birthday, and received a bottle of limoncello, and she invited us all to have a drink after work. We were enjoying it, and I told the group," you know, Danny Devito loves this stuff". They all looked at me like I was nuts.
posted by boo_radley at 7:38 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

I lived in Redmond, Washington before Microsoft. We had a grain elevator and an X-rated theater. I'm also sure my classmates boobs were all real (9th grade, after all), no one had been unpersoned in more than a year, and I don't think I even heard the word "cunt" in my entire time there, though twat was fairly common.

Hm. Whitebread suburbia doesn't rate too well in this "how poor I was" game, does it?
posted by maxwelton at 7:43 PM on July 11

There is a dumb ass expression around here that I really hate, but now it finally fits:

Loquacious wins!
posted by caddis at 7:46 PM on July 11

"logjuicious"...

Seriously? You're playing the Grade 4 Make An Insult Out Of Someone's Name game?

It's not even a good one. What juice from what log? Piss/semen from the phallic log? The trace liquids that could theoretically be squeezed from a well-formed turd? Or is it from an actual log - like the swampy ooze that drips from a decaying Bayou log?

There's not a single schoolyard anywhere in the English speaking world where you wouldn't loose at least half of your accumulated cred by whipping out that insult.
posted by CKmtl at 7:46 PM on July 11

While I'm not a big fan of people telling others to shove things up their etc. etc., and while I happen to think loquacious might be missing the point of Warhol's art, I think everything else he had to say in that comment was so spot on that I favorited it: especially the bit about kids recognizing a kajillion consumer/corporate logos, but unable to identify a flower from the backyard.

And especially his very relevant point that people SHOULD NOT ASSUME THAT EVERYONE ON MEFI IS FROM A WELL-TO-DO BACKGROUND OR HOLDER OF SOME KINDA GODDAM PHD AND PULLING DOWN 6 FIGURES A YEAR OR ANY OTHER ASININE ASSUMPTION YOU CARE TO MAKE!

I HATE THAT!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:54 PM on July 11

"Oooohhh listen, honeychile, I got sumpna tell ya. Gurl they callin' you oooouut. You walked away from the computer, dincha? Uh-uh you can't be doin' that!!"

Woooow.....really? Seriously?
posted by kkokkodalk at 7:55 PM on July 11

Ambrosia Voyeur writes: I got sumpna tell ya.

That's my new favorite word. Sumpna. That's a good'un, AV.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:58 PM on July 11

What the hell do you think an ellipsis is, anyway...three full-stops...?

Technically I used four dots, so it's even better than an ellipsis. A super-ellipsis, if I may. And even if I may not.
posted by inigo2 at 7:59 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

well, what exactly is it that we're supposed to be 'doing.' When it's all said and done, MeFi's just a bunch of people talking, I wasn't aware we were on a mission.

We're here to abandon the creeping meatball.

A couple of hours after I posted, I re-read thread and by the time I got to loquacious's comment I was listening to Man Will Destroy Himself and it fit so well.
posted by NoMich at 8:01 PM on July 11

this is why i prescribe pants
posted by xorry at 8:12 PM on July 11

plexi:

I like a lot of your posts, and I generally like your comments as well, but you've been pretty thin-skinned over here on MeTa recently, and either need to just cool off for a minute before coming over to the grey, or else start using MeMail, except that these threads tend to entertain me too much, so do what you will, I guess. It's just that I like these threads because I get a sense of the personality of the regular MeFites, but I don't like seeing people get ripped apart, which is what is going to keep happening if you keep doing this.

So here's your MeTa Hug. And while I'm at it, here's another one for loquacious.

As far as I'm concerned, I liked the post. I'm living in New Orleans this summer, and the cars in question have been confusing me a bit, so it was a nice bit of revelation to finally get the rest of the story. Also, while you definitely rode it off the rails a little bit, I thought your point was a good one about the fact that these people shouldn't be personally judged for what they're doing with their cars. I wouldn't do it - I personally think it's tacky - but they like it, so whatever works for them, I guess.

loquacious's response was on-target as well, for the most part, except for possibly assuming offense where none was needed. That's the part that offended you, and I get it, I guess, except that htere's so, so much worse that goes on around here, and it helps to remember that the inflections you're reading into what someone wrote may not be what they intended AT ALL.

Anyway, maybe I just don't want to see a flameout.

So here's this.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:12 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

YOU'RE ARGUING ABOUT A LEMONHEAD CAR.

What the hell does Evan Dando have to do with this?
posted by octobersurprise at 8:14 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

If I were plexi, at this point I'd come back with a succinct, topical, yet jokey comment. "I didn't come here to make friends," or something like that.
posted by BeerFilter at 8:23 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Anyway, maybe I just don't want to see a flameout.

(((Navelgazer)))
posted by zennie at 8:24 PM on July 11

Definitely do not shove anything "deep and far" up your poophole unless you are under a doctor's supervision.
posted by ikkyu2 at 8:26 PM on July 11 [3 favorites]

There's really just this asshole part of me that wants to knock on plexi's front door and say "Hey neighbor, just wanted to see how that callout of yours was coming..."
posted by tkolar at 8:29 PM on July 11

Definitely do not shove anything "deep and far" up your poophole unless you are under a doctor's supervision.

I'll bet that line gets you a lot of chicks.
posted by tkolar at 8:30 PM on July 11

What the hell does Evan Dando have to do with this?

Sigh. It's a shame about Ray.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:41 PM on July 11 [3 favorites]

flapjax at midnite writes "And especially his very relevant point that people SHOULD NOT ASSUME THAT EVERYONE ON MEFI IS FROM A WELL-TO-DO BACKGROUND OR HOLDER OF SOME KINDA GODDAM PHD AND PULLING DOWN 6 FIGURES A YEAR OR ANY OTHER ASININE ASSUMPTION YOU CARE TO MAKE! "

Poor people? In my Metafilter? It's more common than I think?
posted by orthogonality at 8:41 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

I really enjoyed that use of the third person, so in my book, plexi is OK.

It's the Jimmy!
posted by ddaavviidd at 8:46 PM on July 11

logjuicious has posted something 8,905 times, and has 5,970 favorites, which is around 67%.

plexi has posted something 228 times, and has 355 favorites, which is 155% omg these numbers are bullshit favorites don't mean anything!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Don't do this. Or I will come over there and take your favorites away from you. Do people seriously do this math? Is this why we can't have nice things?
posted by prefpara at 9:00 PM on July 11

Is this what happens when we talk about boobies and twats too much?

Methinks not enough.
posted by davejay at 9:01 PM on July 11

Plexiglass is not like Teflon. Shit sticks on one; slides off the other.
posted by ericb at 9:03 PM on July 11

Whoa, jonmc, thanks for pointing out plexi's comments in this thread. You know, before reading those I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt for his original comment. He's was obnoxiously lecturing us about poor people, sure, but maybe he usually knows what he's talking about and is just fed up with something else and overreacting. We've all been there.

Then I read these two (deliciously ironic) comments from this expert on poor people:

"A tattoo is another way of saying "I didn't go to college."

"I'm not being mean, maybe it is just a direct way of saying that tattoos fill a position of accomplishment with some people, and it is typically the messenger/bartender/mechanic type. It is almost never the architect/chemist/attorney. In getting tattoos some people feel they have achieved something. And maybe they have."
posted by Solon and Thanks at 9:04 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

I blame the joos.
posted by orthogonality at 9:05 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

Bunghole! Hershey Highway! Love Tunnel!
posted by ericb at 9:14 PM on July 11

Poop-Chute!
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:17 PM on July 11

"I'm not being mean, maybe it is just a direct way of saying that tattoos fill a position of accomplishment with some people, and it is typically the messenger/bartender/mechanic type. It is almost never the architect/chemist/attorney."

Check it out, it's the Man from 1987! Dude, you must really be regretting those Reagan votes now. On the other hand, you can totally catch up with "LA Law" on DVD, and...yeah, that's all I got. Um. Your observations are really dated. That's. That's my point.

...Okay, I'm gonna go now.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:18 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

College!
posted by Divine_Wino at 9:18 PM on July 11

Harrr.
posted by IronLizard at 9:24 PM on July 11

loquacious didn't graduate high school.
He must have a tatoo.
posted by brevator at 9:51 PM on July 11

Wait, does that mean if he doesn't have a tattoo that he did go to college?

These word problems are soooo confusing.
posted by tkolar at 9:56 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

do my girl talk thing and just phone you and be all "Oooohhh listen, honeychile, I got sumpna tell ya. Gurl they callin' you oooouut. You walked away from the computer, dincha? Uh-uh you can't be doin' that!!"

When I saw plexi's callout, I blurted out, "Oh no you di'int!"
posted by jayder at 9:57 PM on July 11

If you go to college and then get a tattoo, does it cancel out the college? All the stuff you learned just runs out your ears?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:02 PM on July 11

If you go to college and then get a tattoo, does it cancel out the college?

I didn't learn anything in college!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:08 PM on July 11

New Orleans still has as much, if not more, unique about it than any other city I've been to or lived in in the U.S., New York, Chicago, and San Francisco included, even post-Katrina.

I grew up lower middle class in New Orleans, in Gentilly, New Orleans East, Lakeview, Bucktown and in Mid-City, most of which neighborhoods were obliterated all or in part by Hurricane Katrina and I've been back since the storm. You can still get jambalaya, gumbo, a softshell crab po-boy, a muffaletta and a Hurricane (the drink, not the weather event.) You can attend Mardi Gras, Jazz Fest, and French Quarter Fest. You can still drop by somebody's house unannounced and have a couple of beers and a plate of red beans and rice. You can still head to Vaughn's and listen to jazz and throw back a six-pack of Abita, if you want, or go to Mother's and have a roast beef po-boy, dressed, with "debris". You can still get ten pounds of crawfish and sit on the river front and eat them and throw the frisbee around afterward. You can still hear people talk about "making groceries", park your car on the neutral ground if the streets are flooded, and read Vic and Nat'ly in the Gambit. You can still walk around the Quarter, go to Molly's at the Market and sit in Jackson Square between the Pontalba Apartments, the oldest apartments in the U.S. You can still go to mass in St. Louis Cathedral and have a beignet at Cafe Du Monde afterward, if you want.

Thank you for this wonderful comment. So much of what I read on metafilter regarding new orleans is negative, much of it obviously written by someone who's never done much more than walk down Bourbon Street, if that. I've spent quite a bit of time in New York, and San Francisco, two cites loved by metafilter, and neither is as unique or fascinating (to me) as New Orleans, warts and all.
posted by justgary at 10:09 PM on July 11

All the stuff you learned just runs out your ears?

That happens anyways in my experience.

But now I'm curious about people who did finish high school but didn't go to college. Do they get temporary tattoos? Henna? Perhaps just bumper stickers or something.
posted by tkolar at 10:09 PM on July 11

When did it become politically incorrect to criticize people with tattoos? Amazing how fierce the reaction against plexi is. "I was inclined to agree with his callout, but then I saw these insensitive things he said about tattoos last week, so fuck him." WTF?
posted by jayder at 10:16 PM on July 11

It wasn't so much the subject matter that riled people up, but the sweeping and derogatory generalization about a fairly significant subpopulation of North America said in a tone as though explaining the simplest matter to a five year old child.
posted by Phire at 10:18 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

"A tattoo is another way of saying "I didn't go to college."

I dropped out of high school, then went on to drop out of three colleges. I don't have a tattoo, but my daughter has several. I wonder what that means.
posted by amyms at 10:20 PM on July 11

His comments make him seem like either an old man who got passed by life a long time ago or a snide, stuck-up idiot.
posted by puke & cry at 10:21 PM on July 11

I... I'm totally confused. My boyfriend didn't go to college and has tended a bar or two in his day, and yet, he has no tattoos. Does this mean that he really went to college, but just never told me? Is his claim of bartending a front for a more embarrassing career? Does he, perhaps, actually have a tattoo, but it's just really well-hidden?

Oh dear god. We're back to the poophole, aren't we?
posted by scody at 10:21 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

You have no freaking clue where I've been, how I've lived and what I've had to do to survive.

Needs some sassy snaps for me to really take that seriously.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:21 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

I, for one, get offended when people mock tattoos, because I have marked every important even in my life with a tattoo. This one here? It's from my Christening. This one I got when I first joined Federation of International Polo. This one represents my first Jag. This one here was for my first time yachting around the Cape of Good Hope. Um, this one I got when I bought my first condo in Manhattan. And this one, oh, yes, this one. First time I ever had a thousand dollar a night hooker. Totally worth it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:22 PM on July 11 [7 favorites]

There is a dumb ass expression around here that I really hate, but now it finally fits:

Loquacious wins!

Actually, TryTheTilapia wins.
posted by timeistight at 10:24 PM on July 11

This is what happens when our culture bases the worth of individuals on what products they consume.
posted by loquacious at 4:36 PM on July 11 [54 favorites by a bunch of folks chortling from behind their Macs at the Gourmet Fair Trade Java Shack]

But to be fair, plexi seems to be a bit of a knob.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:30 PM on July 11

You have no freaking clue where I've been, how I've lived and what I've had to do to survive.

The smart money is on "sucked miles of dick."
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:31 PM on July 11 [1 favorite]

scody: Exactly.
posted by puke & cry at 10:31 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

But now I'm curious about people who did finish high school but didn't go to college.

That's me! And I can tell you, I have one of those "magnetic field" tattoos... (see here)... multi-colored, crazy, tentacle-like strands of light, wildly unpredictable, that leap right off my body, making weird crackly noises. It's amazing. You won't see none of these college boys with one of these, I'm tellin' ya right now!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:33 PM on July 11

puke & cry: OMG, if I discover after all this that my boyfriend has a tattoo that says "Jarrod's Little Fuckdoll" in his ass, I am really going to have a fit. I mean: Jarrod? The guy from the Subway ads?
posted by scody at 10:42 PM on July 11

Amazing how fierce the reaction against plexi is.

I'm going to have to go with this snippet:

"I'm not being mean, maybe it is just a direct way of saying that tattoos fill a position of accomplishment with some people, and it is typically the messenger/bartender/mechanic type. It is almost never the architect/chemist/attorney. In getting tattoos some people feel they have achieved something. And maybe they have."

I believe you will find that it swapping tattoos with any other topic will yield an equally obnoxious view of the world, e.g.

"I'm not being mean, maybe it is just a direct way of saying that buying donuts fills a position of accomplishment with some people, and it is typically the messenger/bartender/mechanic type. It is almost never the architect/chemist/attorney. In buying donuts some people feel they have achieved something. And maybe they have."
posted by tkolar at 10:50 PM on July 11

Well crap, now I'm hungry for donuts.
posted by tkolar at 10:51 PM on July 11 [2 favorites]

Amazing how fierce the reaction against plexi is.

I was fine until he said my life was empty because I didn't go to university.
It is, but it's not like I need to hear that shit from anyone but my mom...

... mmm, that looks good, are you going to finish that?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:54 PM on July 11

"I'm not being mean, maybe it is just a direct way of saying that tattoos fill a position of accomplishment with some people, and it is typically the messenger/bartender/mechanic type. It is almost never the architect/chemist/attorney."

You live in San Francisco and you've never met any tattooed professionals?

WTF?
posted by jason's_planet at 10:55 PM on July 11

Dude, he lives in the Tenderloin. He and his street cred don't have time for professionals.
posted by scody at 11:00 PM on July 11

When did it become politically incorrect to criticize people with tattoos? Amazing how fierce the reaction against plexi is. "I was inclined to agree with his callout, but then I saw these insensitive things he said about tattoos last week, so fuck him." WTF?

Yeah... I should have just let jonmc's pointing out of the comments stand and not go further. Total lapse of judgment.

But I definitely didn't agree with this ridiculous call out or even the comment in the cheetos car thread. I just thought his umbrage might come from a sincere place 'till I read the part where he himself has displayed some, what is in my opinion, ridiculous class snobbishness.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:13 PM on July 11

Metafilter has a far-reaching reputation for being vehement in it's multilayered, exhaustive protest, but I didn't expect such vitriol. One of the best Kurt Vonnegut quotes is, "God damn it, you've got to be kind" and it is endlessly true: no matter how easy it is to spike the community with poison or hate.

God damn it, you've got to be kind.
posted by plexi at 11:24 PM on July 11

Loquacious: That issue is that these aren't art - they're symptoms of a cultural disease and a general failure of imagination.


I don't know if it was this that pissed off Plexi so. I do know that I find it tiresome when someone puts on the cloak of arbitrer and presumes to lecture on what is or isn't art. I suspect Loquacious has been doing this for a hundred and fifty years or so.
posted by Neiltupper at 11:28 PM on July 11

From this thread it seems to me this community is no different than Little Green Footballs - OMG no he didn't I can't believe it he disagrees with a righteous part of my self-worth that I've chiseled into self-actualization after so may years, omg, how fucking dare he say something against my preconceived notions, so refined, so fought over, so beautiful.

Maybe people are different than you sometimes. Maybe we experience life in different ways than you.
posted by plexi at 11:30 PM on July 11

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Sez the guy with the history of insulting comments, followed up by pious finger-shaking exhortations that everyone else is failing to live up to your righteous standards of niceness.

God dammit, you've got to start with yourself.
posted by scody at 11:34 PM on July 11 [11 favorites]

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Naming the thread something besides "monkey king" would have been a good start.
posted by spiderwire at 11:40 PM on July 11

From this thread it seems to me this community is no different than Little Green Footballs - OMG no he didn't I can't believe it he disagrees with a righteous part of my self-worth that I've chiseled into self-actualization after so may years, omg, how fucking dare he say something against my preconceived notions, so refined, so fought over, so beautiful.

From this thread (and the fact that it is your fourth 'I'm so butt-hurt by how people on the Internet treat me' MetaTalk post in as many months) it seems to me that you're taking this all a little too personally. Going over your posting history, you seem to be a pretty interesting guy, but as Alvy Ampersand puts it, you really are acting like a bit of a knob.
posted by infinitywaltz at 11:41 PM on July 11

plexi, what is this post if not a massive "OMG no he didn't" designed to point the entire community's attention at loquacious?
posted by Solon and Thanks at 11:42 PM on July 11

It's a little late to bring out the "woe is me" treatment. Come on.
posted by puke & cry at 11:52 PM on July 11

From what I've read of your comments, plexi, I'd guess that you were about fourteen years old. And listen to scody; for she speaketh great wisdom.
posted by jokeefe at 12:01 AM on July 12

If people would stop making assumptions about the assumptions that I make about people's assumptions, maybe I would stop assuming they assume I don't know the the stuff they should assume I know. Seriously. Jeez. Some people.
posted by 31d1 at 12:23 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]

Maybe people are different than you sometimes. Maybe we experience life in different ways than you.
posted by plexi at 11:30 PM on July 11 [+] [!]

Hmmm, you may have hit on something there.

or, on preview: Yes, scody has it. Follow that one.
posted by sleepy pete at 12:24 AM on July 12

Woah. Callout.

Sorry for telling you to stick it up your poophole, plexi. I'm a blowhard, but I mean well. Often my anger and frustration with the utter daftness of the world gets in the way of me communicating effectively.


Also, we would do well to remember that putting things in poopholes is sometimes an act of love.
posted by loquacious at 12:55 AM on July 12 [11 favorites]

WHAT KINDA GODDAM LAME ASS REPLY IS THAT, LOQ? WE WAIT ALL THIS TIME FOR YOU TO GET HERE AND THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO??!!???




Actually, it's so refreshing to see your sweet side.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 1:02 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]

Further responses: Yeah, my interpretation of Warhol's use of ubiquity is my own extrapolation of why that ubiquity exists in the first place, and, indeed, he was an advocate of 'manufactured" art, intentionally using screenprinting as the printing method for that reason, etc, etc. Oh, we can argue about art all night. We just need more coffee and/or tequila.


Also, people shouldn't be afraid to email me. I'm harmless. I just use a lot of big, pointy words because I'm frustrated and very impatient, because the future isn't what it used to be.

Though I'm usually pretty hard on myself, I've been told I'm a nice guy. I really like people in general. I live almost entirely for the purpose of collecting interesting people and things and weaving them together to make art and other interesting things happen.

I've already felt pretty self-loathesome about the level of vitrol in my rhetoric lately, and this thread is an earnest indicator that I should probably tone it down, or learn to be more deft and selective with it and less personal.
posted by loquacious at 1:15 AM on July 12

WHAT KINDA GODDAM LAME ASS REPLY IS THAT, LOQ? WE WAIT ALL THIS TIME FOR YOU TO GET HERE AND THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO??!!???

YOU AND YOUR FAT PIEHOLE CAN TAKE ALL THAT FESTERING BULLSHIT YOU'RE INSINUATING AND DANCING AROUND ABOUT VONNEGUT BEING ANYTHING OTHER THAN A CHAINSMOKING BITTER TRASHMOUTHED CANTANKEROUS MEAN OLD COOT BECAUSE IT'S LIKE YOU HAVEN'T EVER EVEN READ A SINGLE ONE OF HIS FUCKING BOOKS I MEAN SERIOUSLY NOW YOU'VE GOT AN AUTHOR THAT ACTUALLY SPECIFIED A PICTOGRAM OF AN ASSHOLE TO BE USED IN AID IN DESCRIBING THOSE FUCKING FUCKERS THAT MAKE ALL OF OUR LIVES A LIVING HELL NOT TO MENTION HE FROZE THE FUCKING PLANET AT THE END OF A TERRIBLE LOVE STORY REVOLVING AROUND DOOMSDAY AND CULTS AND WAIT, WHAT? THAT WASN'T YOU? WELL YOU WOULD HAVE SAID IT ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU HAVE A STUPID FACE

That'll be fifty bucks. Same time next week? Right, see you then.
posted by loquacious at 1:32 AM on July 12 [4 favorites]

oh, darlin'.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:35 AM on July 12

I've already felt pretty self-loathesome about the level of vitrol in my rhetoric lately, and this thread is an earnest indicator that I should probably tone it down, or learn to be more deft and selective with it and less personal.

Dude, you used the word "poophole" in your comment - I don't think that rates even a .001 on the vitriol meter. Your pussycat status is secure.
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:53 AM on July 12 [3 favorites]

Oh, so you hadda bring Vonnegut into this, eh?

and, uh, here's the fifty bucks... but, like, I'm outta work right now, so you think next time you could maybe cut me some slack?

loq?

Yo, loq where you goin' man?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:02 AM on July 12

and, uh, here's the fifty bucks... but, like, I'm outta work right now, so you think next time you could maybe cut me some slack?

Then why the fuck are you calling up a "executive dungeon" and booking appointments? BAD CLIENT. NO VERBAL ABUSE FOR YOU!

oh, wait, I think I did that wrong. That'll be, uh, 22.50 with tax, including the "fractional hour" surcharge.
posted by loquacious at 2:09 AM on July 12

Drama aside, TryTheTilapia's comment was worth enduring a callout thread for.

B is for Burzum
Who's sitting in jail
Still making music
And trying the stay pale.
posted by carbide at 2:10 AM on July 12

ClanvidHorse thinks this was a mis-judged callout.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 3:12 AM on July 12

This wendelled.

I have hope for the internet yet.
posted by clearly at 3:35 AM on July 12

scody: "Wow, thanks for pointing out loquacious's remark in that thread. I wouldn't have seen it otherwise, and it's worth reading."
jtron: "Thanks for posting this callout; it led me to a couple of great comments (by loquacious) and your own asininity."
Yes and yes. Thanks from me too!

languagehat: "I too would have missed loquacious's typically eloquent outrage, so thanks for this otherwise pointless waste of MetaTalk.

I once had a lengthy argument on that subject, and the broader question of capitalizing lc usernames in general. I consider it an unresolved question, personally, but usually either (a) rewrite to get the username out of the beginning of a statement when using it to refer rather than address, or (b) stubbornly preserve the canonical case as rendered in the user's byline.

I do the same two things! Spooky!"
Whoah, me too - I tend towards rewriting the sentence though, because it makes me bleed a little inside the start a sentence without a capital.
posted by dg at 3:37 AM on July 12

How to we feel about not hyphenating line breaks within web addresses?
posted by StickyCarpet at 4:44 AM on July 12

wait, loquacious buys donuts?
posted by brevator at 5:08 AM on July 12

Vonnegut asshole tatoos for everyone!
posted by brevator at 5:12 AM on July 12

I was glad i saw that thread and loc's comment so thanks for posting - the only possible riposte is to decorate your car in ky jelly stickers surely >
posted by sgt.serenity at 5:21 AM on July 12

oh, wait, I think I did that wrong. That'll be, uh, 22.50 with tax, including the "fractional hour" surcharge.

Now, see? There's that sweet side, shining through again. You lovable lil' loq, you!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:59 AM on July 12

That'll be, uh, 22.50 with tax, including the "fractional hour" surcharge.

Same as in town, eh?
posted by ikkyu2 at 7:11 AM on July 12 [2 favorites]

Same as in town, eh?

Hey, we ARE in town! Whaddaya think, we're some kinda country bumpkins here?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:51 AM on July 12

well, we have the best whiskey, after all

Amazing metafilter! I just learned last week that there is a difference between whisky and whiskey!
posted by francesca too at 8:11 AM on July 12

*yawn* Good morning!

plexi: Remember that MetaTalk thread you started, when you were pissy about calling you biased, but it was really about confirmation bias?

That, and probably a skewed sample of people with tattoos, is what's behind your 'tattoos = uneducated + low-class' stuff.

The professional's uniform (suit, labcoat, whatever) doesn't easily show off tattoos, while the messenger/bartender/mechanic's clothing choices are more likely to show skin in frequently-inked areas (upper and lower back, arms, chest, thighs, etc.). You don't easily see the professional's tattoos, so you conclude that they mustn't have any. And when you see the professional around town on their downtime, out of their "I'm a Chemist!!" clothes and with their tattoo exposed, you conclude that they mustn't be professionals - they have a tattoo afterall.

Just off the top of my head, I know a surgeon, an oncologist, a pediatrician, a dentist/dental-surgeon, and a generous handful of PhD candidates with tattoos.
posted by CKmtl at 9:00 AM on July 12 [1 favorite]

The one thing I love about Metatalk call outs is that it alerts me where I need to go in the blue schoolyard to see the fight.
posted by josher71 at 9:09 AM on July 12 [3 favorites]

Anyway, maybe I just don't want to see a flameout.

Blasphemy!
posted by languagehat at 9:51 AM on July 12

Hey, a flameout! Somebody call lang—

Oh, nevermind. Hi, languagehat.
posted by spiderwire at 10:08 AM on July 12

Hi, spidey! Did you bring the marshmallows?
posted by languagehat at 10:16 AM on July 12

Among the great pleasures at Metafilter is the ability to sift through a user's comments. You can learn a lot about someone that way -- their areas of interest and expertise; their willingness to give useful advice in the green (and not just seek it out for themselves); their sense of humor and perspective; basically, their overall interest in contributing meaningfully to the community.

And so it was this morning that I got up, made a nice cup of tea, checked in at this thread, and after re-reading loquacious's great comment that prompted the whole callout in the first place, decided to click on his name to look at his commenting history. I realized that while I've been aware of loq, I don't really have a sense of who he is, the way I do of some other regular contributers round these parts.

It was, as this exercise often is, quite interesting. He's been a member for nearly 5 years, and has posted 39 questions and 545 comments in AskMe (not to mention 165 threads/4700+ comments in the blue!). His AskMe history reveals that he's been demonstrably generous with his knowledge of tech stuff; he's also provided thoughtful, useful comments about such varied topics as improving your sex life, living as a non-Mormon in Utah (might those two things be related?), and writing.

Out of curiosity, I checked plexi's contributions as well. He's been a member for 6 years, has posted 45 threads and 112 comments in the blue, and asked 25 questions and given 26 comments in the green, mostly in the form of single-line replies. Of his 8 MeTa threads, 7 have been callouts of some kind revolving around variations on the general complaint that the mods or other users are unfair and inadequately kind.

One of these members is truly a paragon of community virtue. So thanks again, plexi, for this thread! I might not have otherwise "met" loquacious. For all your fondness for lecturing others on how to behave, it's refreshing to see that you were willing to be so generous yourself for once.
posted by scody at 10:22 AM on July 12 [7 favorites]

"poophole" made me laugh
posted by matteo at 10:56 AM on July 12

Hi, spidey! Did you bring the marshmallows?

Well, I was going to bring hot dogs, but I figured the last thing this thread needed was more weiners.

But I do have this nice can of gasoline. That's the next best thing, right?
posted by spiderwire at 11:03 AM on July 12

I'm gonna tell the teacher if you alls don't stop them fighting now.
posted by